Whatever the ethnic, "respect your elders no matter what" can end up just rewarding bad behavior. And I've seen the "ain't no fool like an old fool" play out in real life, so it holds no water for me. In any event, if OP has any way to avoid all these people, she should. Change her ph #, maybe move. Just keep her kids safe, and let them know to avoid the family as well.
If her kids want help getting jobs then those cousins should establish their own relationship with OP and ask themselves. She doesn't owe anyone from her Aunt's family favors or help.
Yep, my guess is she DID ask the Ex for help who KINDLY had to give the old Karen a lesson on "I used you" as she's DELUSIONAL to think that her helping and enabling him somewhat meant he "owed her!" He's an abusive cheating scumbag! In what world did she think he'd feel GRATEFUL to his Abused Ex family for taking his side! I hope he was SUPER cruel in THANKING her for all the help in screwing OP over like that for those two years and how funny it is that KNOWING he's a terrible man, she'd think he'd feel ANY sense of "repaying favors" when he doesn't have to! Especially now that time has passed that the rumors mean NOTHING now to his own reputation so she NOR OP Ex family have no power over him nor usage since I have to figure the courts saw through the defaming against OP or he was in the clear that he didn't want the kids anymore! Either way, the family ESPECIALLY the KAREN Aunt lost ANY use and he owes them NOTHING for their bad decisions OP mother also has NERVE, but I think in her mind, she's BETTER then her sister cause she didn't actively help the Ex! Despite staying out of it OR siding with him IS helping him so she's AS bad as her sister! 1% less bad doesn't change that you still 99% BAD! OP is better off cutting these idiots out
The grandmother that was accused of showing favoritism to one set of grandchildren over the other due to the fact that the daughter-in-law of one of her sons denies her access to those children. Daughter-in-law says you're showing favoritism and not to my children and I would say well the day that you stop showing favoritism to your mother in regards to visitation is the day that perhaps the day we can have this conversation again.
Reminds me of a similar story where a SIL told OP (husband's sister) that she wasn't apart of her family and was nothing to her kids. But when SIL found out that OP was spoiling her other niblings with expensive trips, gifts, college funds all of a sudden SIL is screaming favoritism! Fuck around and find out
I think it's too late! DIL & her mother have probably already poisoned the kids against OP, with whatever imaginary slight that the DIL has cooked up in her biased mind, and now the necklace debacle has happened😢!!!
@@juliemcgugan1244 Someone who likely COUNTED on the person they HELPED screw the other person over NOT helping them in their time of need and now thing the Other Person NEEDS to help them cause "FAMILY" (Despite the fact by her and the FAMILY actions, her ESPECIALLY, she has no right to use that! But Entitled people are going to be entitled! It's in their nature to be SCUM who think the rules don't apply to them)
Story 2: NTA. "Helping a little" is easily going to turn into suing to make it both more and permanent. If his parents had raised his brother right, then it wouldn't be a problem. They can go back to work.
Yeah, give your parents a link to jobs like Walmart greeter if they want to help so bad. I'd be concerned that OP could become legally on the hook if he's materially helping the baby momma's. They can go apply for AFDS, SSI benefits and can go hit up the maternal grandparents for help.
Or he thought that OP liking Mara so much meant that Mara was preferred to dad, so dad felt he had to get rid of her. Emotional competition. OTOH, a woman he's trying to make OP call "mom" while it leads to tension would by default make him the preferred person in OP's life (though dad may not realize he's shooting himself in the foot there...until now). I dunno why, but I feel I've seen too many stories where some parents think that they have only a certain percentage of love they can give each person vs. just loving them all as they are because love can be limitless.
Oops can you say Karma! Your family are AHs to support the cheating ex. Your Aunt destroyed your relationship with her. Your mother is an AH if she thinks you should help your aunt. Your mom can help her or she can get help from your AH ex husband Her kids need jobs? Then they must be adults! Change your phone number!
The first story has an update. OP will be cutting her mom, dad, aunt, and aunt's family off. Apparently, OP's mom raised said aunt while her grandma worked (dad died). She didn't realize that her sister was that toxic. Unfortunately, Op's mom is still defending the aunt and helped her cook up a plan to get money from OP because OP's dad does not want to help his SIL after she borrowed money with no chance of return. She was hoping that op would help her aunt out so that she could "repay' OP's dad and OP's mom could ask her husband to help her sister. When op refused, her mom tried to guilt her into helping, including telling her that she should relate to her aunt as they're both single moms. That's when op told her mom that she's cutting her off and telling her husband. She was also going to remove access to any money she was giving her mom. She was going to tell her dad until she realized that he did nothing to help her either. So, OP is no contract with them for now. Second story, tell the people who are pressuring you to help those kids, they can financially support the kids. It sounds like the parents expect you raise and support Jake and his kids until Jake dies and his kids are grown. Now that Jake is dead, they expect you to be the "dad" again. Hopefully, the parents realize that they're losing both kids and get their shit together before they're alone. Third story, in two years, op's dad will have his family. Just without OP to be around. What bugs me is that the dad wants to erase his late wife while forcing a kid to play happy family with anyone. Now that op is trying to burst this fantasy, he's mad at op for not trying to be the adult in this situation. Fourth story, regardless of the situation, op has the right to pick and choose who gets what based on time. If you want something, you have to put in the effort. If you don't want them to be around their other grandma, you can't be mad when said grandma considers them strangers.
The grandmother will never see this, but maybe now that they are older, she can form a relationship directly with her grandchildren. Unfortunately for the grandmother, giving the necklace to her favored grandchild may prevent this. Why is a young child wearing a heirloom necklace to school?
Last Story: NTA. The answer should be "sure I can get presents for the grandkids. Now here's the question: how are they supposed to get the presenta?" (Hint: there is only one way for them to get presents and they would have to come to Grandma's house to get them)
Karma! Your daughter in law refused to have a relationship with you! No do not change your mind! Daughter in law is an enormous AH. No relationship but give my kids stuff!
I bet she heard too many stories about crazy MIL's and figured that if she wasn't around OP, she wouldn't have to worry about it. Well, now she wants something and suddenly MIL's good enough. Ugh. Of course, it could be she's just a control freak who has cowed her hubby into thinking only her family matters and they must appease her mother, and his mother can go to hell. Sheesh, you DO marry the family when you marry the spouse. There's 2 people in a relationship, and 2 families beyond that. DIL doesn't wanna understand that or care unless there's money involved. OP should just keep them in her rearview until they get humble and make real efforts.
Story 1 NTA: OP should not give his brother's baby mamas a dime. First it's money, next they will demand OP and his wife babysit the kids (for free), and so on the demands will never end.
Because the grandkids are starting to get old enough to smell the bullshit and realize they are being kept away from one set of grandparents on purpose. It's not their fault their mom is being like this, they shouldn't be punished for it in perpetuity. When they become adults it will be far easier for them to choose where they go themselves, but too late to establish a relationship. Better to act now.
No is a complete sentence!! These kids are not your responsibility, also they have mothers! They need to look to see if the state they live in can help!!!
Story 2 nta, your brother's kids and baby mamas aren't your responsibility. If parents feel so concerned they can get out of retirement, find jobs and finance their lives
@@jaredstar asking is one thing, demanding is another and no one is entitled to others' help and demanding that he takes responsibility for his brother's kids and baby mamas is far from being something small
Who wants to bet with Story 3 that OP’s dad is the bio dad of OP’s stepsister, which is why he’s trying harder with Stacey to make OP accept her than he did with Mara?
0:44 OHHH im SOOOO SORRY, i mean, HOW DARE I, the VICTIM, RUIN my own FAMILY'S REPUTATION 😒🙄 1:25 those that support the abuser can go ask the abuser for financial support
S2- nope. It’s not your responsibility. It’s the woman who chose to be single mothers who now need to deal with the consequences. You owe them NOTHING. YOU ARE NOT BEING COLD. Nta.
NTA but he is being cold which is not necessarily a bad thing to do in this case. These are minor kids which means they are a money pit like all minor kids tend to be. Expenses can rack up quickly from school supplies, clothing and extracurriculars. Should OP want to help them then set up an educational trust for college. This way he can set it up and contribute whatever set amount he wants monthly, yearly, holidays or birthdays only if he or any other family member wants. Of course no access by the surviving parent so they won't drain it before the kid is of age.
You never support people who didn't support you!! She has balls to ask you for help!! Also tell mom to back off, mom should have put her sister in her place!!!
Story One. Op, why are you even talking to your Mom who did not support you? Why doesn't your Mom help her? You said that they are we well off. Your Mom should be happy she isn't cut off. They are not people you can count on. Why would you want these disloyal ahs around your children? Haven't they hurt you and your family enough? Do your Mom and her family contribute anything positive to your life? This may be a case of addition by subtraction.
Story Two. Op, these children are not your responsibility. They are your brother's and the women he chose to procreate with. All the friends who are trying to tell you how spend your money need to instread contribute their own funds to your brother's children. You do not owe these people anything, least of all financial support. If you want to, that is ok, but they are not entitled to your support.
When you give a job recommendation for someone, your saying they have the same work ethic as you have. So if they aren't motivated it reflex's badly in you. It becomes part of your work history. If you aren't sure if the person, as in you don't know how they'll be in a work setting, don't recommend them
Story 2: OP isn’t obligated to support his brother’s kids. But if it were me, I’d be considering how me & my money could make a positive impact on the future. Perhaps a college fund (doesn’t have to a lot of money but every little bit will probably be a help). His parents are fools for pushing away their surviving son w/their shaming & guilt-tripping. No one likes other ppl demanding they give their hard-earned money as charity to someone else. That’s what our gov’t is for.
Story 2: Sorry, but after seeing Nick Cannon has 12 kids with five or six women, I no longer think that 3 kids with 2 different women counts as multiple kids with multiple different women, even if it is technically accurate. 😂 3 kids with 2 women really isn’t that bad anymore. But I will still say NTA for the question on hand. It is a shame that innocent kids are reaping what their father sowed, but it is OP’s money and decision. Maybe tell the other family members that they can pool their money to help.
3rd story: YTA, things with mara didn't work out it happens but refusing to acknowledge your dad's new partner makes you the asshole. Dude you're 16, you don't even have real memories with your mom so denying one because you can barely remember your real one doesn't make sense. Stepkids of reddit are so self indulge with themselves to think their remaining parent shouldn't be with anyone else. They need to learn that not every step parent is trying to replace the parent thats gone, their trying to be a parent in their own way and just not giving them a chance makes stepkids the asshole every time.
![[FULL STORY] I Suspect My Fiancé of Cheating With My Best Friend So I Make a Plan and...](/img/1.gif)
Story 1: UPDATE 3:14
Story 2: 4:09
Story 3: 9:00
Story 4: 13:20
Story 1: Why can your family even contact you? My mother would be blocked for taking her side, too. I'd put up a billboard to call her a loser.
Whatever the ethnic, "respect your elders no matter what" can end up just rewarding bad behavior. And I've seen the "ain't no fool like an old fool" play out in real life, so it holds no water for me. In any event, if OP has any way to avoid all these people, she should. Change her ph #, maybe move. Just keep her kids safe, and let them know to avoid the family as well.
If her kids want help getting jobs then those cousins should establish their own relationship with OP and ask themselves. She doesn't owe anyone from her Aunt's family favors or help.
Oh, no. OP’s response to her Aunt was VERY, VERY necessary. Aunt can get bent, as can OP’s Mum and anybody who somehow agrees with them.
Yep, my guess is she DID ask the Ex for help who KINDLY had to give the old Karen a lesson on "I used you" as she's DELUSIONAL to think that her helping and enabling him somewhat meant he "owed her!" He's an abusive cheating scumbag! In what world did she think he'd feel GRATEFUL to his Abused Ex family for taking his side! I hope he was SUPER cruel in THANKING her for all the help in screwing OP over like that for those two years and how funny it is that KNOWING he's a terrible man, she'd think he'd feel ANY sense of "repaying favors" when he doesn't have to! Especially now that time has passed that the rumors mean NOTHING now to his own reputation so she NOR OP Ex family have no power over him nor usage since I have to figure the courts saw through the defaming against OP or he was in the clear that he didn't want the kids anymore! Either way, the family ESPECIALLY the KAREN Aunt lost ANY use and he owes them NOTHING for their bad decisions
OP mother also has NERVE, but I think in her mind, she's BETTER then her sister cause she didn't actively help the Ex! Despite staying out of it OR siding with him IS helping him so she's AS bad as her sister! 1% less bad doesn't change that you still 99% BAD! OP is better off cutting these idiots out
The grandmother that was accused of showing favoritism to one set of grandchildren over the other due to the fact that the daughter-in-law of one of her sons denies her access to those children. Daughter-in-law says you're showing favoritism and not to my children and I would say well the day that you stop showing favoritism to your mother in regards to visitation is the day that perhaps the day we can have this conversation again.
Reminds me of a similar story where a SIL told OP (husband's sister) that she wasn't apart of her family and was nothing to her kids.
But when SIL found out that OP was spoiling her other niblings with expensive trips, gifts, college funds all of a sudden SIL is screaming favoritism!
Fuck around and find out
I think it's too late! DIL & her mother have probably already poisoned the kids against OP, with whatever imaginary slight that the DIL has cooked up in her biased mind, and now the necklace debacle has happened😢!!!
@@marshawargo7238 Good Point! All DIL cares about is getting $$$
Story one. Op to aunt. Hahahaha. Oh you're serious let me laugh harder HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Right?! Ridiculous! Who TF approaches somebody they have massively screwed over for financial help?!
@@juliemcgugan1244 Someone who likely COUNTED on the person they HELPED screw the other person over NOT helping them in their time of need and now thing the Other Person NEEDS to help them cause "FAMILY" (Despite the fact by her and the FAMILY actions, her ESPECIALLY, she has no right to use that! But Entitled people are going to be entitled! It's in their nature to be SCUM who think the rules don't apply to them)
Story 2: NTA. "Helping a little" is easily going to turn into suing to make it both more and permanent. If his parents had raised his brother right, then it wouldn't be a problem. They can go back to work.
Yeah, give your parents a link to jobs like Walmart greeter if they want to help so bad. I'd be concerned that OP could become legally on the hook if he's materially helping the baby momma's. They can go apply for AFDS, SSI benefits and can go hit up the maternal grandparents for help.
The aunt got bitten by karma 😅
Story 4: Bet you a dollar OP's dad was cheating with Stacy and used Mara not pushing for Mom as an excuse to ditch her?
Or he thought that OP liking Mara so much meant that Mara was preferred to dad, so dad felt he had to get rid of her. Emotional competition. OTOH, a woman he's trying to make OP call "mom" while it leads to tension would by default make him the preferred person in OP's life (though dad may not realize he's shooting himself in the foot there...until now).
I dunno why, but I feel I've seen too many stories where some parents think that they have only a certain percentage of love they can give each person vs. just loving them all as they are because love can be limitless.
Story 3: NTA "I get to speak to you any way I want, because even when I'm clear and respectful you don't listen."
Story 1
NTA
But if aunt had her way you WOULDN'T have your kids. Thats ALL you need to tell anyone asking if about helping your aunt
Give her the legal bill you had to pay for the custody. When she pays that you can help her
Story 2 the kids are strangers, not your responsibility
Oops can you say Karma! Your family are AHs to support the cheating ex. Your Aunt destroyed your relationship with her. Your mother is an AH if she thinks you should help your aunt. Your mom can help her or she can get help from your AH ex husband Her kids need jobs? Then they must be adults! Change your phone number!
The first story has an update.
OP will be cutting her mom, dad, aunt, and aunt's family off.
Apparently, OP's mom raised said aunt while her grandma worked (dad died). She didn't realize that her sister was that toxic. Unfortunately, Op's mom is still defending the aunt and helped her cook up a plan to get money from OP because OP's dad does not want to help his SIL after she borrowed money with no chance of return.
She was hoping that op would help her aunt out so that she could "repay' OP's dad and OP's mom could ask her husband to help her sister. When op refused, her mom tried to guilt her into helping, including telling her that she should relate to her aunt as they're both single moms. That's when op told her mom that she's cutting her off and telling her husband. She was also going to remove access to any money she was giving her mom.
She was going to tell her dad until she realized that he did nothing to help her either. So, OP is no contract with them for now.
Second story, tell the people who are pressuring you to help those kids, they can financially support the kids. It sounds like the parents expect you raise and support Jake and his kids until Jake dies and his kids are grown. Now that Jake is dead, they expect you to be the "dad" again.
Hopefully, the parents realize that they're losing both kids and get their shit together before they're alone.
Third story, in two years, op's dad will have his family. Just without OP to be around. What bugs me is that the dad wants to erase his late wife while forcing a kid to play happy family with anyone. Now that op is trying to burst this fantasy, he's mad at op for not trying to be the adult in this situation.
Fourth story, regardless of the situation, op has the right to pick and choose who gets what based on time. If you want something, you have to put in the effort. If you don't want them to be around their other grandma, you can't be mad when said grandma considers them strangers.
thank you for the update on the first story, good for op!
The grandmother will never see this, but maybe now that they are older, she can form a relationship directly with her grandchildren. Unfortunately for the grandmother, giving the necklace to her favored grandchild may prevent this.
Why is a young child wearing a heirloom necklace to school?
Yes, Why? That cannot be a very valuable piece (Or I sure hope not!) because there is no way it won't be broken, lost lost, or stolen.
Story 3 , the dad clearly just fell for another woman and is trying to use ( she didn’t want to be your mom) argument to win op other.
Had to look and see if anyone else thought this. It was my first thought when they said he left Mara
Last Story: NTA. The answer should be "sure I can get presents for the grandkids. Now here's the question: how are they supposed to get the presenta?" (Hint: there is only one way for them to get presents and they would have to come to Grandma's house to get them)
Karma! Your daughter in law refused to have a relationship with you! No do not change your mind! Daughter in law is an enormous AH. No relationship but give my kids stuff!
I bet she heard too many stories about crazy MIL's and figured that if she wasn't around OP, she wouldn't have to worry about it. Well, now she wants something and suddenly MIL's good enough. Ugh. Of course, it could be she's just a control freak who has cowed her hubby into thinking only her family matters and they must appease her mother, and his mother can go to hell. Sheesh, you DO marry the family when you marry the spouse. There's 2 people in a relationship, and 2 families beyond that. DIL doesn't wanna understand that or care unless there's money involved. OP should just keep them in her rearview until they get humble and make real efforts.
Story 1 NTA: OP should not give his brother's baby mamas a dime. First it's money, next they will demand OP and his wife babysit the kids (for free), and so on the demands will never end.
Op in the FINAL Story should NOT establish a relationship now. It will only be focused on money. Why do that to yourself? Keep things as they are. 👋🏻
Because the grandkids are starting to get old enough to smell the bullshit and realize they are being kept away from one set of grandparents on purpose. It's not their fault their mom is being like this, they shouldn't be punished for it in perpetuity. When they become adults it will be far easier for them to choose where they go themselves, but too late to establish a relationship. Better to act now.
The story about the brother dying those mothers can go to social security and get death benefits for his kids.
S1: what is wrong with this family? Siding with the abusive, cheating son in law? They are monsters!
Because culture/family/whatever are just different names for peer pressure and I was always taught in school not to give into peer pressure so... 🤷♂️
"Yeah, you shouldn't give into peer pressure but only when it suits me."
Story 1: Anyone else clock that the ex left OP for a younger woman when she was 26? How much younger? A literal teenager?
Crazy to attack the kids
Sounds like op#1 supported the aunt as well as the aunt supported her. Seems fair to me
S1, NTA, reap as you sow should be tattooed on your Aunts eyelids
He left you for a younger woman at 26!? How much younger?
No is a complete sentence!! These kids are not your responsibility, also they have mothers! They need to look to see if the state they live in can help!!!
If auntie wants help, she can go to op's mother since she's decided to be the aunt's flying monkey
Story 2 nta, your brother's kids and baby mamas aren't your responsibility. If parents feel so concerned they can get out of retirement, find jobs and finance their lives
Well then op should never ever ask for any help from anybody After all it's not anybody's responsibility to help them.
@@jaredstar asking is one thing, demanding is another and no one is entitled to others' help and demanding that he takes responsibility for his brother's kids and baby mamas is far from being something small
Who wants to bet with Story 3 that OP’s dad is the bio dad of OP’s stepsister, which is why he’s trying harder with Stacey to make OP accept her than he did with Mara?
I'd think it would be more on the grandparents to give support to orphan kids than an uncle that has his own family to support
0:44 OHHH im SOOOO SORRY, i mean, HOW DARE I, the VICTIM, RUIN my own FAMILY'S REPUTATION 😒🙄
1:25 those that support the abuser can go ask the abuser for financial support
S2- nope. It’s not your responsibility. It’s the woman who chose to be single mothers who now need to deal with the consequences. You owe them NOTHING. YOU ARE NOT BEING COLD. Nta.
NTA but he is being cold which is not necessarily a bad thing to do in this case. These are minor kids which means they are a money pit like all minor kids tend to be. Expenses can rack up quickly from school supplies, clothing and extracurriculars. Should OP want to help them then set up an educational trust for college. This way he can set it up and contribute whatever set amount he wants monthly, yearly, holidays or birthdays only if he or any other family member wants. Of course no access by the surviving parent so they won't drain it before the kid is of age.
You never support people who didn't support you!! She has balls to ask you for help!! Also tell mom to back off, mom should have put her sister in her place!!!
Last Story: Theres some serious missing missing reasons here
1:45 Don’t do it for your aunt. If you have a relationship with your cousin then yes help them. I would talk to them and them only.
Story One. Op, why are you even talking to your Mom who did not support you? Why doesn't your Mom help her? You said that they are we well off. Your Mom should be happy she isn't cut off. They are not people you can count on. Why would you want these disloyal ahs around your children? Haven't they hurt you and your family enough? Do your Mom and her family contribute anything positive to your life? This may be a case of addition by subtraction.
Story Two. Op, these children are not your responsibility. They are your brother's and the women he chose to procreate with. All the friends who are trying to tell you how spend your money need to instread contribute their own funds to your brother's children. You do not owe these people anything, least of all financial support. If you want to, that is ok, but they are not entitled to your support.
When you give a job recommendation for someone, your saying they have the same work ethic as you have. So if they aren't motivated it reflex's badly in you. It becomes part of your work history. If you aren't sure if the person, as in you don't know how they'll be in a work setting, don't recommend them
Not your kids not your problem if they care then they can take care of the kids
Story 1: you don't help your enemies.
Story 2: OP isn’t obligated to support his brother’s kids. But if it were me, I’d be considering how me & my money could make a positive impact on the future. Perhaps a college fund (doesn’t have to a lot of money but every little bit will probably be a help). His parents are fools for pushing away their surviving son w/their shaming & guilt-tripping. No one likes other ppl demanding they give their hard-earned money as charity to someone else. That’s what our gov’t is for.
Story 2: Sorry, but after seeing Nick Cannon has 12 kids with five or six women, I no longer think that 3 kids with 2 different women counts as multiple kids with multiple different women, even if it is technically accurate. 😂
3 kids with 2 women really isn’t that bad anymore.
But I will still say NTA for the question on hand. It is a shame that innocent kids are reaping what their father sowed, but it is OP’s money and decision. Maybe tell the other family members that they can pool their money to help.
Wow story to OP is kinda an Ahole
Mf in story 3 sounds annoying
3rd story: YTA, things with mara didn't work out it happens but refusing to acknowledge your dad's new partner makes you the asshole.
Dude you're 16, you don't even have real memories with your mom so denying one because you can barely remember your real one doesn't make sense.
Stepkids of reddit are so self indulge with themselves to think their remaining parent shouldn't be with anyone else.
They need to learn that not every step parent is trying to replace the parent thats gone, their trying to be a parent in their own way and just not giving them a chance makes stepkids the asshole every time.
We found OP’s father
i’m sorry but “a young woman” when you were only 26 exactly HOW YOUNG?!