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@@victoriaeads6126your not insane mate, nice spread of butter on toast with a thin spread Vegemite is delicious! Say my RUclips name in an Aussie accent!
There's a bbq every 50 metres here. I'm old enough to remember before they were electric. There's a law here that can't stop you cooking your food as long as it's safe. Otherwise you are looking at life in prison.
People who think we’re a weird version of the US rather than the UK don’t realise we are literally Monty Python Land. Nothing again Texans or the US South, but we’re not them. We are the feral children of British sarcasm.
@@arianamaria_ Hell Australia even had its own "Wild West" era with outlaw folk heroes, in America we had Billy the Kid and in Australia they had Reckless Kelly.
As an Australian viewer, I want to give a huge shout out to Lorelai for throwing in lots of little things just for us. I don't think many internationals will fully get the Sammy J clip or just how annoying dealing with Telstra really can be, but ... IYKYK
Lived Down Under (Under a rock, apparently) for 27 years - don't know what a "Sammy J" is. But I can agree that dealing with Telstra is worse than when I got a root canal.
Heyo! West Australian here. I recently had the experience of having a visitor here from Iceland. It waslike having my very own little kamikaze! He walked barefoot through Portugese man o' war washed up on the beach (miraculously avoiding the tentacles). He picked up venomous spiders to show me... Tried to pick up a dugite (venomous snake) because it was pretty. Picked berries from the many many poisonous plants growing about th eplace and almost ate them. Poked a stingray. - I was exhausted just trying to keep him alive!
Your friend sounds like a handful, but tourists do lose all sense of danger when abroad. I live in Malta, a tiny island nation in the middle of the Mediterranean. Apart from around three million tourists a year (on a population of just over half a million), about 20% of the population is foreign. *Every* year people die because of the sea. The Mediterranean is usually quiet and beautiful, but not always. Sometimes there's a storm, and the sea becomes quite vicious. People drown, just because they are too close to the shore; the sea just takes them. And in 99% of the cases, it's tourists or immigrants. (I'm an immigrant myself, but with a Maltese wife, so I have been thoroughly warned.)
Most Chinese can't swim but they insist on going into the water at the beaches and never stay within the flagged area ... phew! it is hard to make them understand that there are rips and other dangers if you swim outside of the flags... Lifesavers are exhausted saving them !
@@Lifeoutback220 It's not even Chinese specifically. The people who drown come from all over the world, including Europe. As you said, there can be undercurrents and such. But mostly it's because tourist immediately become stupid as soon as they're abroad, and don't recognise any dangers. There is a place (Sliema) where the water sometimes goes over the road, which is easily 10 metres over sea level, if it hits the rocks hard enough. And still tourists think that the Mediterranean is this pretty and innocent little sea.
I grew up in a beach town. I've seen tourists chop down the "risk of drowning" signs to use as fire wood at an area where tourists regularly drown. Dumb asses!!
Well to be fair to Telstra as a fellow Aussie, they have ZERO control over the NBN, within the first 6 months of our house being hooked into the NBN it died, turned out to be the line that went into the house itself and normally Telstra would be the one to replace that but because the NBN had been installed into the area and took over the wires the tech said "Even if i wanted to fix this i legally can't because the work that i need to fix/replace is NBN work and Telstra can't touch it" but hey that's what you get when the Gov decides to have the NBN as it's own entity and not under the telecoms who actually know what the fuck they are doing.
@@MegaRazorback ngl most of the telstra guys out where i live are also the nbn guys, so when it becomes an nbn problem they sometimes just swap vests and do the job. That's also why alot of those guys out here don't put telstra or nbn logos on their vans; it allows them to swap freely.
I was an American, living in Poland. We had a friend visit from Australia. She brought Vegemite for us to try. She showed us the proper method, a thin, barely perceptible amount on the toast. I decided it wasn't enough, and layered it on, more like peanut butter or jelly, and it was much better. I guess I like Vegemite.
There are many Australians that do this also, it's just doing so has an almost 100% dislike rate with new people experiencing it at that concentration. Though most are somewhere between 'barely perceptible' and 'like peanut butter'.
Hello from Australia. For the record, I started watching this video on Monday, it finished streaming on Thursday, and my comment should show up around next Tuesday.
You got that Tony Abbott brand NBN. I got the original fibre, 1000/400 mate it's pretty great 😂 ($109 though) If you are on fttn you might be in a fibre upgrade area, if you order a service beyond what you can get on the fttn you get it for free (or $300 can't remember) then you can downgrade again later and keep the fibre reliability. Fttc can get the upgrade too.
Australian here - What in the heck is a disposable BBQ?! You have a BBQ and you throw it away...? What?! I can't compute this. How does that work? What is it made out of? Is it metal? Huh? That sounds so wasteful! Most people in Australia do like Vegemite. I don't, but I am always teased as being un-Australian. It's very salty. Not to my tastes, but everyone else in my household loves it. As for the warm beer - NO! We make fun of people from England for having warm beer as they allegedly drink it at room temperature, which to us, means warm. We have ours ice-cold. Literally! Many of our beer taps have ice-build up on the outside of them. And no, Fosters is awful. No one drinks that here. We tried to fix the internet but rolling out the NBN (National Broadband Network), where fibre to the house was going to be rolled out everywhere, but there was a change of government early in this process and they decided to integrate this with the existing 50-60 year old copper network, which is badly degraded. The rural and remote areas are EXTREMELY badly affected by the internet and there are places that simply do not have access to the internet at all, not via mobile signals, not by NBN or wi-fi, not satellite, not at all. This issue taps into a lot of socioeconomic, sociopolitical and even racial issues in Australia, so it's a much bigger problem than buffering on video speeds, for example. It means children in far-remote communities are not able to access the same levels of education as suburban children, medical information is delayed or very hard to get, communication is extremely strained, ability to access services is very difficult. To compound this issue, it is often Indigenous communities that are the most adversely affected by this, due to the high populations of Indigenous peoples in remote and far-remote communities. This is a big problem.
A disposable BBQ is basically a foil tray with coals in it and a grill over top. Bush fire fodder if ever there was one. I also do not like Vegemite but I wasn't born here, so I haven't been eating it since before I was in the womb. I wanted to explain the warm beer joke, but figured it would be too many interjections... I have FFTP, and it STILL goes down on me regularly. And not in the fun way.
@@EveryFairyDies yeah, that sounds really dangerous for Australia. It makes sense that they don’t have them here or they aren’t common at the very least. The beer thing, yeah, I thought people would jump all over this too but I was too lazy to read through the comments, so I thought I’d say something anyway. We have FTTP here too. It was initially pretty bad but it seems to have improved recently. We are still trailing behind most of the world.
@@EveryFairyDies never heard of a disposable BBQ either, I also don't like and have never liked Vegemite and get called un-Australian for this as well but I know lots of people who love it and it is very popular despite what foreigners claim....
Although looks like starlink is available in Australia. I have it here in Rural US, and love it! No where near as fast as direct fiber, but certainly fast enough for 99% of what you do.
@@EveryFairyDies Haha, came to describe the BBQ, silly me. Got one in NZ, in Wellington, to take to the beach (yeah I know, n embarrassingly YES I was sober), couldn't even keep the damn thing lit, just blew away every spark or ember. At least it was cold marinated tofu & raw veg & not raw chicken.
Now do one about English people coming here and complaining about everything... It's too hot, I can't breathe, the bushfires have surrounded me and I can't escape. Whinge, whinge, whinge.
Fun fact, aussie infants go straight from breast milk to vegemite. You could say its their first solid food.🤔 Two pro tips, 1) never ever camp in a dry river bed, even if it feels soft and comfortable. It can rain 300 kilometers upstream and wash you away. 2) don't camp under gum trees, their notorious for dropping limbs at any time of the day or night. Its not just the koalas you have to watch... Also on koalas, not entirely sure when breeding season is for koalas is, however an enamored male koala is not something you want to trifle with... the koalas you pat at any of the major tourist parks are showered, cleaned, deodorized and probably perfumed. My experience has been in the wild you will smell a koala a long time before you see it. I'm about 4 hours west of no mans land. Red belly blacks are less hostile than the other poisonous types of snakes we get here. Some of the locals even think a red belly black is a good thing as they'll prey on the young of the other more venomous types of snakes. Telstra is a 7 letter word more accurately described by most four letter words... enough said about that.
Regards Red belly blacksnakes. Had unfortunate occasion where I pulled up on road for one thinking it was a big python. It immediately went under the utility and found its way to the bonnet. Took an hour to extract it from the 'webbing' in the bonnet. Was over 6 feet long. Also had encountered them in habitat and if you surprise them, they will lash out.
Sure, but even Australians are initiated into it, themselves by friends or family members before they pass it along to foreigners. I remember being on a camp as a preteen, and being introduced to the concept of drop bears from my fellow peers. I was terrified, largely in part, because we were on a night walk at the time that I was informed (as is usually the time and place best used for maximising the fear effect). It was much later that I learned that it was a humorous myth.
Once discovered the tour I happened to be sharing a hostel room with had never heard about dropbears. They were flying to Australia in the morning, so I educated them...
The thing no one seems to mention in these kinds of videos is that the lawn is out to get you. If you ever notice a patch of grass that no one is walking on barefoot, it has bindis (or bindii). They WILL get you, and you WILL regret taking off your shoes. Ive never been bitten by a spider, hardly ever seen a snake, but FML the number of times bindis have made me regret everything is far too high to count. For the uninformed, bindis are basically cactus spines hidden in regular lawn. If you enjoy walking on cactuses, you'll love bindis.
How they manage to be so painful yet tiny is incredible. But the real nasty one are caltrops, like tyre spikes, the are shaped so there is always a spike straight up. And these are spikes, 5-10mm long. Easily goes through the sole of your shoe. Happily draw blood.
And blue-bottles are like sea-bindis on steroids. They won't kill you, they'll just make sure that your quota of four letter words for the day is taken care of.
Okay I should perhaps clarify - dropbears are a half-joke. You see male koalas in mating season go really feral and can absolutely wreck your weekend. Having one leap on you from the trees or chase you is definitely going to make your day the worst. That's where the joke of mythical "dropbears" came from; as always a grain of truth which is perhaps scarier than the joke.
hell the little fuckers fall out of trees while sleeping get startled awake and react agressively. might not be a literal bear but, they are scary little shits.
I once tried to drive down a road in summer and came across a male koala literally inside a female in the middle of the road. It's like- what do you do? Try to go near them? Hell no. Eventually she walked away and he stared at me. If looks could kill.
Will add too - having played Australian football for 20+ years (in Canada) but lucky enough to travel with our national team to an international tournament in 2005, the Australians I met there will treat visitors like their best mate - offer to put them up for a stay and they are sports mad - children will ask for your autograph if you play AFL! Had an amazing time and wasn’t bitten by any snakes, spiders or sharks.
I'm older than dirt, & have seen about four snakes in the wild in my entire life. Spiders? in Western Australia we have "Redback spiders", some of which can give you a very painful bite, but they aren't all equal, other smaller ones just itch a bit. (Crocodiles? They only live in the Tropical North), Sharks? very rarely is anyone bitten, let alone eaten by one.More people die from drowning than either of them
Aussie here. I really do need to point out that getting harmed by our wildlife is shockingly rare and it’s frustrating how much people’s exaggerations are presented as fact. I’ve gone on many a bushwalk, been to the beach a ton, etc and I’ve never been harmed by anything more than a mosquito or leech. - The only snake I saw when I lived quite literally across the road from dense bushland (I lived there for about 12 years) was a non-venomous one. - Wearing enclosed shoes and not hugging a paper bark tree is a surefire way to not get bitten by a spider - stonefish aren’t found everywhere in australia, box jellies arent around at all times of the year or in all locations and there are less shark attacks here than in America (also sharks aren’t the crazy killing machines the media paints them ass) - ive never even seen a wild bluering octopus - crocodiles are mainly a northern thing - gympie-gympie is found only in northern NSW and southern Queensland, so just dont go bushwalking there - ive been in the presence of wild kangaroos before and they are more likely to run away than attack - our hospitals are stocked with every type of antivenom you could possibly need, unlike places like america, which means you are far less likely to die from a venomous animal here anyway I could go on and on. It is insane to me that people call australia dangerous. America is far scarier, with moose, bison, bears, mountain lions, wolves, etc as *well* as snakes and spiders. And overseas animals can have rabies, so a tiny little bat with a bite you can’t even feel could straight up kill anyone in America. Rabies isn’t a thing in Australia, meanwhile.
I got to agree, in Australia, things bite you, In the USA, Things Eat you. But wherever you live, you cope with the natural surroundings and think other countries are full of danger.
Nope. All potential mass immigrants should be warned that you will literally die within days of getting here. Not worth it. Stay where you are. Cheers.
Hi there Aussie too. I however lived in the Outback (Alice Springs NT) google it..... I have been bitten by a red Back Spider. Went to hospital and didn't even get anti ven0om. Told to harden the fuck up. Recovered a few days later. I have been trampled by a charging wild Camel. Again went to hospital and was told I was lucky to be alive. I have been to Darwin once an swam in the ocean. Touched briefly a boxed jellyfish. Another trip to the hospital. It sting like hell. This time it took them ages to get those stingers off me. So thats my experience of 51 years in Australia, most of it in the real Outback.
@@makavelismith 😂 it's pretty popular stuff up here in Canada too. Butter is for recipes and I Can't Believe it's Not Butter, Becel, or Country Harvest margarine is for everything else lol
@@RavingKats I have lived most of my life here in Ireland, but I was born in Calgary. I just remember not liking margarine at all. You need those milk fats.
Vegemite; the old advertising used to say “a mere smear is enough”. You only need a SMALL amount spread on toast with plenty of butter. Foreigners usually make the mistake of using it like jam and putting heaps of it on which even Australians don’t do.
@@danidavis7912 I am that guy with no taste. I don't really like alcohol or the taste of beer/spirits so Fosters was my favourite drink when I wanted to ''drink'' :) (or act like I was drinking).
Lorelei had become my new favourite editor by a mile. The way she responded to Dave's script with her edits and slipped in replies was so hilarious! Keep up the amazing work Lorelei!
"Isn't in australia they have like good currency? Don't they have like a strong currency? ... I thought they had lots of money?" Unironically the best (unintentional) joke in the entire video.
Our economy has completely collapsed sad to say its just not being reported on as they are trying to keep the housing market going. It's a complete joke.
I'm from Melbourne, Australia and work in telecommunications. In 2010 the government started to roll out their plan to give everyone (except extremely rural places) FTTP, they called it NBN. The next government cancelled that plan and replaced with a very out dated technology of FTTN. After a few years they changed it again to FTTC. Now they're changing as many FTTN to FTTP as feasibly possible, they send people out to survey the areas to see if it is feasible or not beforehand. My house has FTTP and I bought in this area because I knew it had it because I helped install it :)
yeah NBN - Nobodys Bloody Network - I talked to the Fourth {!} guy who came to my house: he estimated that $3,000 had been spent trying to connect me: and I live in the burbs. First Guy: looks at POLE across the street and declares, 'the node is at the street corner [other side] - gonna need to string it from there to this pole, need a cherrypicker' laters . . . 2nd Guy: jets and TRENCHES from the NEAR street corner to my house, then realizing that I have excavation for drainage at the close corner decides to go to the far corner of my house, but can't beat the trees and concrete and decides to run under my neighbours yard - puts in pipe and box with magic letters and blue/yellow winching rope. 3rd guy: Unannounced Drilling my house at 8AM on a Saturday morning directly above my bedroom window. He is running the overhead cable from the Pole Across the street that the First guy tried to do. 4th guy: makes appointment, connected; has whole history; estimates $3,000 has been spent. Another Government Boondoggle.
I have FTTP. Mice love it. Telstra techs pull the fibre too hard when they replace it,.. and so the NBN replaces it again a month later. And if I want world class speeds, it costs a significant amount more, and it gets throttled by congestion when everyone watches their netflix, to the point why you wonder what the point of paying stupid amounts for it is.
The original plan wasn't actually going to be FTTP. Rudd campaigned in 2006/2007 for FTTN with limited FTTP with satellite in rural/remote, but when he actually formed government and got to work doing it, it turned out the "last mile" copper network was completely unsuitable for broadband in too many areas. In 2009 he announced that instead it was going to be FTTP in metro areas and satellite in rural/remote. Liberals, being amazing technologists and economic visionaries did worse than revert the plan, they went FTTN on all future metro rollout. I don't know how they were going to magically fix the copper network cheaper than just going FTTP anyway (AND THEY DID BTW, THEY TASKED NBN CO WITH INSTALLING MORE COPPER), but they decided that that was the economically sound idea.
The NBN was originally conceived as PRIMARILY getting telecommunications to "extremely rural places" because the telcos wouldn't. One of the very first things that happened was NBN planned to roll out to the urban areas and skip the extremely rural places.
As an Australian i loved this episode.... but then i always enjoy them! Love, love, love Lorelei's work! She is hilarious! Definitely a bloody champion!
Writer Dave wrote an articulate and informative script. A+ Simon. There's a reason he hosts around 13 channels. He's a freaking legend. But hands down, Editor Lorelei was the absolute star of this video. I haven't consistently laughed this much during a Brain Blaze before. Whatever you're paying her, Simon - double it.
No mention of the most terrifying Aussie animal of them all, the Magpie! As a kid I used to hand feed an entire family of them from our balcony in the afternoons, they’d land on the handrail and sing for their supper and if I wasn’t promptly out there they’d rap on the window with their beaks. Then every morning before dawn I’d cycle my bmx through the bushland to the train station and as I got near the creek I’d pass near the tree they roosted in overnight and knowing what was about to happen I’d hunch down over the handle bars and pedal for my life as I would suddenly hear the sinister whooshing of their wings flapping and with sweat streaming off my brow I’d cast a quick look over my shoulder to see them lined up in formation like F1-11 fighter planes aiming straight for the back of my head. Then three or more of them would clap their wings on both my ears like precision bombers and deftly land on an overhanging branch and cackle with magpie laughter at me as I passed under them shaking my fist and threatening to poison them that night when I got home from work. Btw, they totally knew it was me! This went on for nearly a decade lol. Magpies are fiendishly intelligent and capable of recognising individuals and very cheeky. That running battle I had with was one of the highlights of my childhood and I’ve no doubt that their decendents of the same clan are terrorising a fresh generation of Aussie school kids in the same leafy little valley I grew up in. I miss them. 🥲
Aussie here The magpies chased my brother when he was little and all of the kids walking home ... except for me! (Weirdly). I have been swooped twice - (the first time was a surprise/shock) both times long after I had left school. For 15 years we had a family of magpies become very friendly, one of them will even land on my husband's outstretched hand 🥰 adorable! The magpie parents would bring their young ones into the safety of our yard. The youngsters would sunbake (so cute!) and sometimes peck at the windows and talk to their own reflections. The young grew up and then brought their families to our yard. Many birds! We moved a few years ago and we both miss our magpie friends 😞 There are 7 magpies that live nearby, but they are still getting used to us. Have never attacked us though. Maybe we have the right "karma" to get along with magpies?!! I enjoyed reading your comment, thank you for sharing your memories. 🤗
I raised an orphan magpie. They are fiendishly clever. They can also talk. Ours learned to say "F#@* You" from our neighbour, and continued to say it in appropriate moments.
So I’m an American who lived in Australia for 4 years and did my master’s degree there studying wildlife, including venomous organisms. Australia does have a wealth of venomous organisms, though whether it has more than its neighbours in SE Asia is arguable, and the reason for its fame for it over those countries may simply come down to English language publicity and greater numbers of scientific publications. The other main contributing factor is that as an island, Australia’s wildlife had relatively fewer common ancestors than many other places, and many of those ancestors were venomous. So when those organisms diversified and speculated, many of their descendants retained venom. As an example, the overwhelming majority of Australian snake species are Elapids (same family as cobras and coral snakes). Since the ancestral line was venomous, when the snakes diversified over time to fill different niches, most of them retained venom. The US on the other hand has only three Elapid species, a few dozen venomous Vipers, and the rest are nearly all nonvenomous or very mildly venomous Colubrids. If you want to know more about it, read up on Wallace’s Line. It’s a really interesting topic in evolutionary biology. Also also, microdosing Vegemite is the way to go, and gympie-gympie is a nightmare.
Gympie-gympie stings aren't so bad if you've got some bush knowledge. The cunjevoi plant often grows in the same microclimates and rubbing the sap on the sting makes the pain lessen. Don't eat it or get any sap in your lips or eyes tho bc it has killed people before. Bullrouts are wayyyyy worse
My favourite thing about Australia are the wildlife viewing platforms on Sydney Harbour Bridge. They close the bridge every night at dusk so all the kangaroos, koalas, wombats and other Aussie creatures can go back to the bush for the night. It's free, but it's super popular. I once waited in line for a viewing spot for six hours and the queue is kilometres long and hot in the Aussie sun. Sure is worth it though! Magnificent sight, especially seeing all the birds flying across the bridge!
growing up in the outback of Australia seeing snakes was fairly common. but just to be sure our cat used to bring LIVE copperhead and brown snakes to our front door. she did it 3 times in 2 years. she was confused as to why we weren't pleased.
I am here for Lorelei!!! The Holden Ute with the Chev badge had me crying. I own a Pontiac G8 which is on the Holden Commodore platform and here in the States everybody is changing out their Pontiac and Chev badges for the Holden ones. 😂😂😂
I'll admit I use it for emphasis because I know it bothers people. I use air quotes for both that and because I like to and anyone that doesn't like it can get bent. Lmao
@@Insertia_NameiaBeing done for sarcasm is just fine. What bothers me is the valley girl (or guy) who says, "Like, oh my God, I will like literally die if he asks me!" You just know that they're too dumb to know what they're actually saying.
Lorelei needs to move off Telstra. They are one of the most expensive and have terrible service. For all it's issues, the NBN has given us true choice of retailer. I'm with AussieBB, and have only ever had one technical issue for which I spent a grand total of about 15 minutes on the phone, and it just got sorted out. There are plenty of other good ones around too.
I remember my parents friends visited Australia for the first time and they were exhausted from the drive from Canberra and Sydney (about 3 hours at the time) and they thought that they must have passed Ayers Rock. Mum had to sit them down with a map and show them how large Australia is and how far away it is
As an Australian I approve this, Blaze. Yes, we do have lots of very deadly creatures but they are normally found in remote places. WE just like to tell everyone how dangerous it is her to keep away the more annoying tourists.
When staying at overseas hostel I was asked how do we survive with so many deadly animals. Had to reassure them most will move away or ignore you. Still pays to be aware which seems to come natural with us.
That’s not true, I live in an inner suburb of Brisbane, and have seen death adders, brown snakes, whip snakes, red bellies in my neighbourhood. Most people don’t see them because they’re just not very observant.
Most parks have electric BBQ's. You just push the button, and it stays on for 20 minutes to half an hour. You can use them at any time. They are a bonzer idea.
So in november my NBN went down, I called the ISP over a dozen times to be told every time "Oh its fine on our end, has to be an NBN issue, we'll log it and they'll get to it eventually", finally in MARCH when I called to tell them to shove it the actual technician who answered the phone finally bothered to do a simple remote diagnosis on the equipment, in 10 minutes she found the router was broken and had a new one sent the next day. Nobody was told to shove it but they still owe me 3 months of connection fees not to mention the 90 bucks a month i wasted for cable tv. Im so happy to get my 12 megabit download speed and 0.8 mbit upload back. Its almost fast enough to watch youtube on.
It frustrates me when I hear stories like this and the blame is always put on the NBN, ISPs are responsible for determining if the issue is at the user end. That’s literally their job. NBN run the backbone
@@thekrutchinator Thats kb, small b, equivalent to 1.5 MB. And paying 30% more than I was 2 years ago when i was getting 50% more speed on ADSL. affordable high speed fibre my ass.
12 flipping months of backwards and forwards between Telstra and NBN with no service. I was crying in frustration at the store in the end ..which worked btw(every other time they told me I had to call them). So ugly tears for the win, fixed same day
Sitting in my loungeroom eating cheese and Vegemite toast and loving every second of this. Chefs kiss to your Aussie editor, she is a legend and had me nearly choking on my toast a few times 😂😂😂
Come to Australia in our winter. The snakes and spiders are dormant, the bushfire risk is negligible, and you'll love it here. Also, even when the wildlife are active, they actually don't want to mess with you. They'd much rather leave you alone so long as you leave them alone. The climate and the trees are much more likely to kill you than the fauna.
I live 40Km S.E of Melbourne and in the 42 years of living in Australia I have only ever seen a single snake ever. I find it ironic that around the areas I live the bushland is safer than the ones in the USA / Canada. There are no Coyote's, Moose, bears, wolves and whatever else there is over there. If I waned to I can walk through my local woodland area at 2am and know that there is no risk of any animal attacking me.
You got everything right until you said that the trees are more likely to kill you. What tree in Australia will kill you? Even the Gympie Gympie tree will only cause extreme pain, but I've never even seen one in all my life living here. There may indeed be a tree here that can kill a person, but that doesn't make it 'more likely' that you'd die from it, than the native wildlife. How often do you see news headlines about people being killed by trees in Australia? 😂 Tree branches falling in a storm could definitely kill a person, but that's true of any place that experiences storms, which is almost everywhere on the globe. I'm assuming you're referring to trees that kill you in ways not related to being broken in a storm.
@@Samqdfand mountain lions, and alligators. Admittedly, alligators aren't as aggressive as Australian saltwater crocs, but they still kill people if they feel so inclined. They also have bats, plus rabies that can be carried and transmitted from dogs (unlike the Australian Lyssa virus).
@@Aquascape_Dreaming I didn't think of those, excellent points. There aren't any crocs in my part of Australia so that's not a factor either. I could be wrong but I don't even think there are ticks in these parts?
@@Aquascape_Dreaming I guess you don't live in the bush surrounded by widowmakers and the remains of branches and whole trees that just dropped one day because it was too hot for them. Gum trees don't give you any warning - one moment they're standing there like all the other trees, and the next moment there's a big chunk of firewood on the ground. You've just gotta try not to be under it when it drops, is all.
BLUEY is hands down the absolute TOP DOG, thank you so much Australia for gifting it to us and our children. Also wth in Mexico we make a "BBQ" and everyone and their grandma just ends up plastered, the cooking/grilling is completely optional.
@@unarmored9973 meh, personal opinions exist, and so do facts. When one show accounts for more than 20% of the views on a streaming service, it's good.
@@captainspaulding5963 Certainly 40 million viewers is a lot of peeps my man, it's almost the amount of people that think the m00n landings never happened. Hey but I'm not here to try and ruin your show for you man, I'm just some a-hole on the internet takin the piss out. Good day sir. 👍
Lots of people here saying they never see snakes, it must depend on where you live. In the past 4 months we have had both a Tiger and Eastern Brown snake in our yard, our neighbour has had 6 Tigers, friends across the road 2 Tigers and 1 brown and I just avoided running over a very large Brown on my motorbike near our driveway. I’ve run over snakes mountain biking in the past as well. These stats are not an aberration, we get snakes every year. But…if you leave them alone they will usually slither off. Of more concern is that every year we cyclists will be attacked by Magpies several times. Driving/riding in rural Australia is also fraught with the constant threat of hitting large scale wildlife, including but not limited to Kangaroos ( bloody big ones) Wombats, Goats, Deer, Camels (yes really) and various dumb farm animals.
Took me till the 20:21 minute mark to appreciate why the editing on this one was so 100% on point. You are a prime specimen of this fine sunburnt land, Lorelei.
The drop bear joke is actually us describing how insanely deadly it is and then tell you it is a joke after having terrified you. They exist and the joke is terrifying you and then making you think they aren’t actually real
It's all right as long as you explain - and this _is_ true - that nobody with Vegemite smeared liberally behind their ears is ever attacked by a drop bear.
As a brown snake riding, Woollongabba hating, Fortitude Valley avoiding, Translink loathing, QR reluctant of this brown city we call Brisbane, I am honestly amazed that Lorelei can do the editing work in a way that doesn't completely derail Simon's uploading schedule due to the speeds down here.
Hello! Rural Aussie boy here. For the internet part- it is hell. I lived about an hour away from the nearest large-ish city. NBN was started in the early 2000’s I belive? And the area I lived didn’t even have the nbn till 2023. By which point, I had mastered the arts of low frame rate for my games- and thankfully the nbn sucks anyway so nothing changes!
We live on a farm in northern NSW. Up until a year ago we were on wireless broadband requiring a $1000 booster to get 4g. Terrible service! Went Starlink in Jan 23 & haven’t looked back👍
The NBN was a 2009 announcement by the Rudd Government, who were going to do fiber to 97% of homes, before upgrading that to 99% when they realized it would be cheaper to do the extra 2% that way than re-use the old degrading copper and pay TV networks. Because planning and spinning up a massive entity to start that rollout takes time, the first connection wasn't until 2011. In 2013 the nation committed itself to poor internet by throwing them out and replacing them with the Abbott government who instead promised to do 'it faster and cheaper' by not actually upgrading most of the copper (and even being so dumb as to roll out NEW copper in many areas at a greater cost than fiber). This of course didn't happen, as all the planning needed to happen again now with a degrading copper network that didn't necessarily match in reality what the documentation said it should, so it took longer, cost several times as much, and limited some homes to 50mb/s instead of 1000mb/s. Finally after nearly 10 years of wastage the current government was elected and since 2022 has been replacing progressively the copper for most anyone not in a rural area that orders a service of 100mb/s or above. For those in rural areas if you want high speed your best option is to pay for Starlink. Fiber to the curb, unlike the video, is not 3G from the curb, it's a short run of existing copper from the curb, and is actually the only solution they should have even bothered entertaining that wasn't fiber right to the home as it might have actually saved money and been easily upgradable on demand to full fiber, unlike fiber to the node which was a complete waste as it underperforms and is expensive to upgrade unless you do most of the suburb. There's still 'pockets' of slow, but as long as you have a good ISP that isn't Telstra mostly, it's actually quite stable, I haven't had a single dropout of any length at all since 2019 and get 1000/50. Though that isn't cheap, and faster plans are seen as business plans which they squeeze 'businesses' heavily for to subsidize rural connections which likely cost much more than they earn. They basically capped uploads on residential plans to encourage businesses to spend more. 1000/1000 is available about anywhere non rural but for a huge $$$$$$$$ commitment, they give you a new fiber that only works on the business ethernet plans/network which cost a lot per month.
Also lets not forget the mid sized the birds which will happily take you on in a 1on1 if you so happen to wander in the general vicinity of their nesting tree. Magpies and Plovers do not hold back!
Not just Maggies and Masked lapwings (Plovers) defending their nest. Kookaburras will PLAN an attack on your BBQ meat and know exactly how and when to attack to achieve a total and anonymous escape (eye witness). Bin chickens (Ibis) will thieve food off the table in front of your face. Silver gulls will snatch food of any sort out of your hand. Scarlet rosellas have been observed sitting on nervous tourists shoulders waiting for their victim to attempt to take a bite from a sandwich, when the bird gets in first!!!!
16:20 Yes, I agree with Bacon on Pancakes - but you need to 'Coffs Harbour' it : add lightly fried Banana. Slice it lengthwise, fry it at the last minute with the bacon; Drape both over the pancakes, add syrup [or fake] and butter to taste.
Simon forgot to mention that Australia is the only place with "Rent a Skippy" where you can hop to work on the back of a kangaroo for just twenty didgeridollaridoos.
@@beehambonio3378damn those electric scooters really are just everywhere aren't they? I live near a college town and those things are a disaster 😂 we work on one of the places that runs them (I'm an electrician) and they managed to charge so many batteries in such a small area of their shop that it caught on fire during winter 😂
Lorelei is a bloody legend for her editing, she's my favourite one on this channel, I'm not biased, but as a kiwi who lived in Aussie for 2 years, I get her humour more than the others. Also in all my two years living there, I only encountered 2 huntsman spiders as the worst thing. So peeps need to chill tf out about stuff that can kill you. Minus the internet speeds it's just a beautiful country and I would live there for the rest of my life if I didn't need constant medical stuff sorted for free back in NZ. (yeah I do have a medicare card it's just out of date now XDD)
I've lived in multiple US states, and even the smallest local parks generally have at least 2 pavilions with picnic tables, and permanent hibachi grills set outside the pavilion. If you know where you want to go has no facilities, a small hibachi or weber grill is easily portable. Most campgrounds have permanent grills as well.
Have them even here in southern U.S, the land of mosquitoes and flies which make having any food outdoors look like should be shut down by health inspectors.
My local park in my hometown had a couple picknicking spots that, last I checked, had some metal grilling frames. Like, I think you were supposed to burn something underneath the grating and grill something on top of said grating. I don’t know what kind of grill that was, and they could’ve changed that by now
@@joshuahunt3032 Sounds like the permanently installed grills that are at every park I've ever seen, from Washington state to Florida. They do not have any cover on them, it's basically a flat piece of metal with 3 sides (where you put your charcoal) and then some metal bars making a surface (where you put your food)
The ones in Australian parks are usually electric. It mostly started as a safety thing, it helps to prevent bushfires (wildfires). People don’t need to light a fire if there is a free barbecue hotplate already available at the turn of a switch. Now you find them everywhere.
Hey, Aussie here. You said you had an upload of about 50mbs, I have an upload of less than 1mbs, normally about 0.7mbs. Love the video. And the wildlife ain't always out to kill you, sometimes it wants to eat you while you are alive cause you taste better lol 😅
Hey, what plan and tech are you on. The only way you should get something that slow is if you're on a 12/1 plan, I don't think those are sold any more. 25/5 (mbit not mbyte) is the minimum. If you can't get that on any fixed line service they have to fix it. If you're on skymuster take a look at skymesh, it costs more but it's dramatically better. If you're on fixed wireless well then you may be boned, but do check your plans again as they have changed a lot recently offering higher speeds.
Thank you, Dave and Simon - The funnel web spider will not get you in the toilet as they live in the ground - But the Red Back will defiantly get you - as for 25c that is a pleasant night where I work in the "Pilbara" in the north of western Australia. - Thankfully i am FIFO to escape the 47 to 50c days. As for distances, when we plan our Regional Exploration Camp, we drive 390km to buy food and then return the 390km in the same day and do not see one house on the drive. Love your work
I like that you put the qualifier "SUPER poisonous" indicating that you've sustained plenty of poisons that fortunately didn't do you all the way in 😅 can tell you Aussies are a hearty people!
Lorelei you're a ledge luv the humour! Aussie here, and Simon forgot to mention that we shorten our words! Arvo is afternoon, ledge is legend, Maccas is Mcdonalds, barbie is barbecue, Brekkie is breakfast, ambo is ambulance, the list goes on! With spiders, I've only been bitten by a Red Back Spider & I was asleep in bed at the time and I still went to work! I was pretty crook by lunch & went home. I found the spider in my bedroom, caught the bugger & went to the docs (doctor) with it & he said not to worry & let nature take it's course (I was pretty drowsy by that stage & my right arm was numb) and take a couple of panadols. Next day, right as rain! I've been in 4 bushfires & the worst one was when I lived in Port Macquarie as the fires went on for a year & we were surrounded by bush fire. The closest it got to my house was a kilometre. Every day all you could smell was smoke & the skies were a burnt orange colour. Worst of all from that year long bush fire was the amount of ash that rained down on us. It got everywhere, clothes, house, food, beds etc. You were constantly gasping for air! Vegemite is the best stuff on the planet. A good Aussie breakfast for me is vegemite on toast with a couple of fried eggs on top, sausages, fried tomato, fried pineapple, bacon (none of that stringy Pommy or Yank shit but proper rashers of bacon), hash browns and a ton of barbecue sauce. Another thing that Simon forgot to mention was the sausage sizzles at Bunnings every weekend. A bit of bread, a sausage, fried onion & your choice of sauce. There was even a media scare in 2018 when Bunnings wanted to drop fried onions cos someone slipped on them whilst walking through the store. Google it if you don't believe me!
The story about the NBN and how the Liberal Government took a good plan and made it simultaneously costlier and shitter than the original plan could probably be a video in itself.
Liberals aren't exactly economically liberal, they believe in (& have been) privatising everything. Anyone old enough to remember when QANTAS, Commonwealth Bank, & Telecom (Telstra) were all government owned (& significantly less dodgy than now)?? The Liberal Party believe in "Classical Liberalism". They're not the only Conservative political party in the world called "Liberals". Socialist Liberals is an American thing. Yanks being Yanks, they have to do everything differently. 😂😂
Years ago I was at a foreign policy conference between Australia and Korea. Turnbull was also there. They hauled up some mindless bureaucrat who told everyone the internet was evil and filled with pawn and the government's job was to stop people using it. Then the Korean bureaucrat spoke about how good the internet was and how much korea was going to make money from it. I doubt turnbull himself felt like stopping Australians access but I suspect it runs deep in the LNP.
In Australia tourist don't get killed by animals or insects, however a lot die from swimming in the ocean. Many, many drownings. All Aussies lean to swim at 5yo, and are taught beach safety. Tourists don't see the hidden danger under the waves.
the internet in the UK, by accident or intentionally, it’s very very fast and very good. i can’t help thinking it’s the one thing holding everything together at this point
No, no, drop bears are just a myth. Koalas are friendly and cuddly. Go on, grab a random male one out of a tree and give it a big hug. You’ll love it and it will love you back (*snigger, snigger *)
my very English dive buddy came back to my boat having collected several sea shells by putting them in his brief swimming costume (budgie smuggles).He took them out and put them on the esky.A blue ringed octopus crawled out of one and he was about to pick it up when I shouted STOP.Their bite is lethal mate. We cant get to hospital in 15 mins!!!
My friend's son was a WoW addict and failed his freshman year of college, around 2005. Mom called her brother in Australia, booked a one-way flight for her son. He's now a pharmacist in Aus.
...what did you do?! They are so used to people's presence on Rottnest, hence the proliferation of selfies with them. Were you getting to close to a baby or something?
@@DreamingIce nah it was a friendly little nibble. I was crouched beside it doing the peace sign for a photo ✌and it just hopped up and bit a finger. Either it thought i was offering it food (it was under one of those trees that have finger like leaf clusters, something similar to king billy pine, other Quokkas were nibbling on those) or it is just a particularly war mongering marsupial
Oh fuck yeah! I wasn't expecting this! If you do a second one: - Kangaroos being shredded AF and not afraid to have a slapping match in residential areas. Like throwing one another through fences. - Australian's past time of taking the piss out of foreigners. Like saying everyone rides kangaroos, and when they go through water they use their tail as a propeller, or the time a Scottish journalist was made to wear gridiron armour before holding a koala... convinced it was a drop bear. - Queensland is essentially Florida but with more deadly animals and less guns (come at me Lorelei!) - The recipe for ANZAC biscuits is protected by law - MAGPIES And to round it out on a positive note... quokkas.
2:30 - Mid roll ads 4:30 - Chapter 1 - The entire country is literally out to kill out 10:05 - Chapter 2 - BBQ obsession 13:35 - Chapter 3 - Vegemite 18:15 - Chapter 4 - Terrible internet
I’m a 69 year old Aussie farmer from Victoria and I’ve never even seen a funnel web spider in real life. Hardly ever see snakes and we don’t have crocodiles in Victoria. The octopus and shark issues are easily avoided by staying out of the water!!! The whole “dangerous animals and arachnids” is a comedy narrative Aussies love to promote!
NBN Co told my Sister's boyfriend that the fault was with his router config and he had to contact his service provider's technical department. He was working as a senior tech for iiNet, they were telling him to contact the people who escalate technical problems to the people who escalate technical problems to him. Turned out to be a grounding issue on a piece of NBN Co equipment. It was affecting an entire street. They had an entire street calling and complaining, several ISPs, and they were still insisting it wasn't their issue.
Sounds like Rogers customer service here in Canada, half the country was down including cell service but "Seems to be problem on your end sir, all our equipment is functioning properly." and that was their story for hours before finally admitting to I think a configuration fault on the backbone.
Aussie here with fast, reliable internet. The issue is that nothing is hosted within 700 km of here so latency makes everything take a while. Between local offices, or home and office I have AMAZING speeds - as long as I don't want to include the rest of the world when using the internet.
Drop-bears are iconic critters and we kinda like you too mate. We love a good chat, like you, but you forgot the irukandji - pain unlike anything; "Please cut my leg off, no wait, I'll do it quicker."
Hey, Fellow Aussie here.. Just wanted to inform fellow Aussies about Starlink As I use it and have used it for almost a year now.. I live in sunshine Coast, Queensland (so not remote at all) and I average around 150-200mbps down and 15-20mbps up (Ping around 20-40 which in 99% of games I don't notice).. Only really gets poor in severe weather (poor being below 100mbps) and only ever dropped out in that hectic lightning storm time at the start of the year and only for an hour or so (power was out longer but hooked up a genny and worked a treat).. Biggest downside IMO is price, I got a refurb kit at $300 and pay $140p/m so it's much cheaper to stick to the 'National Broken Network' but i as a gamer and large consumer of the interwebs (hundreds-thousand GBp/m easy) don't see myself going back to aussie net until some big changes happen. Anyway hope this helps some people and Have a good one! :)
As an Aussie from Newcastle, I've heard nothing but fantastic things about Starlink! As quick as I am to criticise Musk and his questionable business decisions - it really seems like he's nailed it with this one, I reckon he should focus more on internet services bc I can genuinely see him revolutionising the game. I also hear from those waaaay outback who rely on it and they seem to love it. PS. a good friend of mine comes from the sunny coast and he thinks it's pretty similar down here
1) Vegemite is awesome. I always have a jar around. 2) Spicy Lorilei is brilliant! One of my other favorite creators is Australian and based on her editing of this vid, I am now convinced that, "Fucking Telstra mate" is as common as a comma. 🤣🤣
White Tail Spiders can cause necrosis, including loss of limbs. Also, you're forgetting our ants... They can jump and 1/10 people can have anaphylaxis shock when stung. :)
From 2008 until late 2014 I used to live in a tiny weatherboard house in Warragul, Victoria that I am sure was the National headquarters for whitetails. I had never been bitten before we moved there. First time I wS bitten was after the Black Saturday bushfire on the right hand side of my back. Not a pleasant experience. The next time I was bitten in three time, on either side of my back and on my lower left leg. It had crawled into bed with me . The leg was worst because I think I rolled on it causing a deeper bite. It felt like someone had lit a match in my leg. The third time was on my face and that was lanced under anaesthia in hospital. Do not miss them at all. My husband took to spaying down the outside of the house every six months and you should have seen the amount that pored out.
@@muffinandme1 I knew one fellow who had to burn a bite wound out with acid as no treatment was stopping the gradual spread of necrosis. Another person got s so sick they couldn't work for two years. Those white tall spiders are no joke.
I've live in Australia my whole life, just over 50 years and I've not once died because of anything dangerous like snakes or spiders, my pet drop bear takes care of them for me!
Liar, you can't tame a Drop Bear, unless it is the Kangaroo Island subspecies which is 7 times smaller than the mainland DB, but they can't be exported to the mainland due to quarantine. You might fool the overseas posters but Aussies know your are MR Fibber.
Oh, tell them its customary to have a huntsman spider permitted to live in the house to keep the flies and other spiders away. I have one in my bedroom doing laps of the walls.
When Vegemite was first introduced in 1923, it wasn't called Vegemite. It was originally called Parwill. The name was a bad pun - the slogan was "If Marmite, Parwill". The name didn't catch on and it was changed to Vegemite in 1928. I was surprised to find that this wasn't mentioned in Wikipedia.
@dietmarwolf79 I learned about it when I worked in the section of the National Library of Australia in the section that research and organised exhibitions. Wikipedia doesn't mention it but if you do a search for Vegemire's history you will find it.
As an Aussie, I cannot over-endorse Lorelei’s edits in this video to viewers from other countries. 11/10 No notes. Especially the back and forth with Dave. And for anyone that wants to know why Aussie internet is fucked, it’s because of one of our previous prime ministers, Malcolm Turnbull. He saw the opportunity to implement fibre across Australia, and looked at how South Korea’s economic prosperity has been driven by their networks. So he decided “fuck that, my internet is fine for emails; who would ever need more than this?” - and promptly rolled out a system that may as well be made of koala fur and the memory of a HSP from down the local kebab shop. I personally know a video editor at a government agency that got a visit from the then communications minister, and he told me how they openly said that our current internet (copper, at the time; and still now) was enough for everything they needed. Right after my mate had showed them through a new production studio they’d just built which had 64 video feeds coming in from various sources. And now we’re all ducking stuck with it. Even in a capital city with $150/month internet it takes nearly an hour to download 1gig. Baller’s gate 3? Release day? Mate, I think you mean release month… (/endrant)
Please don't blame Malcolm for Tony's trashing of the proper NBN. Malcolm was just the reluctant communicatoins minister not the prime minister back then. Those quotes about the Internet being fine for what we have now are from Mr Rabbit and Mr BrandThis, not Mr Turncoat. And you can always go with a non-NBN provider. There are quite a few especially in WA where some guys in a country town decided they'd just do it better and did.
I'm in an apartment block so I'm stuck with Opticomm (has even less stars on Google than NBN), which is like private fibre. Every company seems to have suspiciously uncompetitive pricing with consistent costs of around $65-69 for 25mbps once their six month deals go away.
@@dh66 It's how fibre to the curb works in Oz (though that is a comedy skit). Our broadband system is fucked up and unnecessarily complicated because our government is full of even more idiots than your average government
Aussie here. I saw my first snake while living in the city of Adelaide last summer, it was a baby snake and my last view of it was as it headed under the house, can't wait for next summer to see what emerges from under the house! However I grew up in the desert of mid-north South Australia, there I used to go hunting lizards and snakes with anyone who wanted to go/was already going. Hence had numerous interactions with deadly snakes, now as an adult I am surprised one of us never was bitten.
The problem with the weather in Australia isnt that the temperature goes up to 25⁰C, its that 25⁰ is cool and refreshing day and in the height of summer it regularly goes over 40⁰
In Brisbane we just had 4 straight months where the temperature didn't go below 20c. No, not that the maximum temperature didn't go below 20c, the MINIMUM. Even in the dead of night. I get seasonal depression from the heat here, not the cold 😅
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I, uh, like Vegemite. I'm American. My kids think I'm a little insane, but in fairness, that's not because of the Vegemite.
@vict😂oriaeads6126 kkk 21:19 m😂td😂😮3is mr😂😂kkkk😂😂kikkr🎉. I m
@@victoriaeads6126your not insane mate, nice spread of butter on toast with a thin spread Vegemite is delicious!
Say my RUclips name in an Aussie accent!
There were 137 wildfires in the UK in 2019!
There's a bbq every 50 metres here. I'm old enough to remember before they were electric. There's a law here that can't stop you cooking your food as long as it's safe. Otherwise you are looking at life in prison.
People who think we’re a weird version of the US rather than the UK don’t realise we are literally Monty Python Land. Nothing again Texans or the US South, but we’re not them. We are the feral children of British sarcasm.
That's a huge reason Australians and U.S. Georgians get along so well.
We're both penal colonies.
Good to meet ya, cousin!!
Bloody oath, mate!
What a poetic way to describe it 😂😂
Ive always called Australia the feral love child of the UK and US 😂 your culture is such a random mix of the two that makes no discernible difference
@@arianamaria_ Hell Australia even had its own "Wild West" era with outlaw folk heroes, in America we had Billy the Kid and in Australia they had Reckless Kelly.
As an Australian I can confirm that the most difficult part of the Fosters brewing process is getting the cat to squat over the can
So true 😂
No one, no one, drinks it. Ever.
@@woodrow60 Back in the 1970s, Aussies temporarily in England found the Pommy beer so appalling that Fosters was good in comparison.
You forgot the truckies armpit extract
We have a few brewers here that I'd swear are used beer from the urinal
As an Australian viewer, I want to give a huge shout out to Lorelai for throwing in lots of little things just for us. I don't think many internationals will fully get the Sammy J clip or just how annoying dealing with Telstra really can be, but ... IYKYK
I love that Sammy J song. And you're welcome, mate!
RIP Benita 😭
Lived Down Under (Under a rock, apparently) for 27 years - don't know what a "Sammy J" is. But I can agree that dealing with Telstra is worse than when I got a root canal.
As an Australian I dont think its necessary to let everyone know you are Australian lol
You don’t even need to use Telstra anymore.
Heyo! West Australian here. I recently had the experience of having a visitor here from Iceland. It waslike having my very own little kamikaze! He walked barefoot through Portugese man o' war washed up on the beach (miraculously avoiding the tentacles). He picked up venomous spiders to show me... Tried to pick up a dugite (venomous snake) because it was pretty. Picked berries from the many many poisonous plants growing about th eplace and almost ate them. Poked a stingray.
- I was exhausted just trying to keep him alive!
Your friend sounds like a handful, but tourists do lose all sense of danger when abroad. I live in Malta, a tiny island nation in the middle of the Mediterranean. Apart from around three million tourists a year (on a population of just over half a million), about 20% of the population is foreign.
*Every* year people die because of the sea. The Mediterranean is usually quiet and beautiful, but not always. Sometimes there's a storm, and the sea becomes quite vicious. People drown, just because they are too close to the shore; the sea just takes them. And in 99% of the cases, it's tourists or immigrants.
(I'm an immigrant myself, but with a Maltese wife, so I have been thoroughly warned.)
Most Chinese can't swim but they insist on going into the water at the beaches and never stay within the flagged area ... phew! it is hard to make them understand that there are rips and other dangers if you swim outside of the flags... Lifesavers are exhausted saving them !
@@Lifeoutback220 It's not even Chinese specifically. The people who drown come from all over the world, including Europe. As you said, there can be undercurrents and such. But mostly it's because tourist immediately become stupid as soon as they're abroad, and don't recognise any dangers. There is a place (Sliema) where the water sometimes goes over the road, which is easily 10 metres over sea level, if it hits the rocks hard enough. And still tourists think that the Mediterranean is this pretty and innocent little sea.
😂😂😂😂 LOL how cute
I grew up in a beach town. I've seen tourists chop down the "risk of drowning" signs to use as fire wood at an area where tourists regularly drown. Dumb asses!!
Australian here. Can confirm “f-king Telstra!” is the third most commonly used phrase in the country, after ‘Yeah nah’ and ‘Nah yeah.’
I keep saying yeah nah when playing games with American friends, and it's hilarious how confused they get.
Well to be fair to Telstra as a fellow Aussie, they have ZERO control over the NBN, within the first 6 months of our house being hooked into the NBN it died, turned out to be the line that went into the house itself and normally Telstra would be the one to replace that but because the NBN had been installed into the area and took over the wires the tech said "Even if i wanted to fix this i legally can't because the work that i need to fix/replace is NBN work and Telstra can't touch it" but hey that's what you get when the Gov decides to have the NBN as it's own entity and not under the telecoms who actually know what the fuck they are doing.
Telstra shits on Optus but fuck me dead either way.
@@MegaRazorback ngl most of the telstra guys out where i live are also the nbn guys, so when it becomes an nbn problem they sometimes just swap vests and do the job. That's also why alot of those guys out here don't put telstra or nbn logos on their vans; it allows them to swap freely.
once took 5 consecutive days of telstra promising they’ll send someone out to fix our internet for someone to actually show up.
Watching the editor vs writer battle going on over Simon is absolutely my favorite new thing about this channel.
And I always make a point to tell Dave about my snarky comments, since he can't read them.
@EveryFairyDies it was somehow funnier when I remembered he wouldn't see it!
The editor will always win.
@@EveryFairyDies Since I can't imagine Simon watching his own videos I assume he's largely unaware about them.
@@tubensalat1453 He is. But we know. We know....
I was an American, living in Poland. We had a friend visit from Australia. She brought Vegemite for us to try. She showed us the proper method, a thin, barely perceptible amount on the toast. I decided it wasn't enough, and layered it on, more like peanut butter or jelly, and it was much better. I guess I like Vegemite.
There are many Australians that do this also, it's just doing so has an almost 100% dislike rate with new people experiencing it at that concentration. Though most are somewhere between 'barely perceptible' and 'like peanut butter'.
Or eat it with a spoon as I just did because this video made me crave it
In Tobruk in WW2, Australian soldiers gave German POWs Vegemite (spread thinly the right way). The Germans asked for more.
Aussie here ... Vegemite 😋🥰 I like your comment!
I prefer a more generous spread on my toast.
Hello from Australia. For the record, I started watching this video on Monday, it finished streaming on Thursday, and my comment should show up around next Tuesday.
You got that Tony Abbott brand NBN. I got the original fibre, 1000/400 mate it's pretty great 😂 ($109 though)
If you are on fttn you might be in a fibre upgrade area, if you order a service beyond what you can get on the fttn you get it for free (or $300 can't remember) then you can downgrade again later and keep the fibre reliability.
Fttc can get the upgrade too.
Australian here - What in the heck is a disposable BBQ?! You have a BBQ and you throw it away...? What?! I can't compute this. How does that work? What is it made out of? Is it metal? Huh? That sounds so wasteful!
Most people in Australia do like Vegemite. I don't, but I am always teased as being un-Australian. It's very salty. Not to my tastes, but everyone else in my household loves it.
As for the warm beer - NO! We make fun of people from England for having warm beer as they allegedly drink it at room temperature, which to us, means warm. We have ours ice-cold. Literally! Many of our beer taps have ice-build up on the outside of them. And no, Fosters is awful. No one drinks that here.
We tried to fix the internet but rolling out the NBN (National Broadband Network), where fibre to the house was going to be rolled out everywhere, but there was a change of government early in this process and they decided to integrate this with the existing 50-60 year old copper network, which is badly degraded. The rural and remote areas are EXTREMELY badly affected by the internet and there are places that simply do not have access to the internet at all, not via mobile signals, not by NBN or wi-fi, not satellite, not at all. This issue taps into a lot of socioeconomic, sociopolitical and even racial issues in Australia, so it's a much bigger problem than buffering on video speeds, for example. It means children in far-remote communities are not able to access the same levels of education as suburban children, medical information is delayed or very hard to get, communication is extremely strained, ability to access services is very difficult. To compound this issue, it is often Indigenous communities that are the most adversely affected by this, due to the high populations of Indigenous peoples in remote and far-remote communities. This is a big problem.
A disposable BBQ is basically a foil tray with coals in it and a grill over top. Bush fire fodder if ever there was one.
I also do not like Vegemite but I wasn't born here, so I haven't been eating it since before I was in the womb.
I wanted to explain the warm beer joke, but figured it would be too many interjections...
I have FFTP, and it STILL goes down on me regularly. And not in the fun way.
@@EveryFairyDies yeah, that sounds really dangerous for Australia. It makes sense that they don’t have them here or they aren’t common at the very least.
The beer thing, yeah, I thought people would jump all over this too but I was too lazy to read through the comments, so I thought I’d say something anyway.
We have FTTP here too. It was initially pretty bad but it seems to have improved recently. We are still trailing behind most of the world.
@@EveryFairyDies never heard of a disposable BBQ either, I also don't like and have never liked Vegemite and get called un-Australian for this as well but I know lots of people who love it and it is very popular despite what foreigners claim....
Although looks like starlink is available in Australia.
I have it here in Rural US, and love it!
No where near as fast as direct fiber, but certainly fast enough for 99% of what you do.
@@EveryFairyDies Haha, came to describe the BBQ, silly me. Got one in NZ, in Wellington, to take to the beach (yeah I know, n embarrassingly YES I was sober), couldn't even keep the damn thing lit, just blew away every spark or ember. At least it was cold marinated tofu & raw veg & not raw chicken.
Massive shout out to cousin George, without whom this video would have been far less awesome
You and me Dave (about Australia)...same page
The editor has thrown in a few shits and giggles too.
is there AI for reading randomly edited in captions in videos or do you just miss all the editors memes? Lorelai was not amused xD
She typically tells him ahead of time
Now do one about English people coming here and complaining about everything... It's too hot, I can't breathe, the bushfires have surrounded me and I can't escape. Whinge, whinge, whinge.
The combination of Simon his writers and his editors is what makes The Simonverse the best place to be on RUclips
This is so true
Absolutely.
Fun fact, aussie infants go straight from breast milk to vegemite. You could say its their first solid food.🤔
Two pro tips, 1) never ever camp in a dry river bed, even if it feels soft and comfortable. It can rain 300 kilometers upstream and wash you away. 2) don't camp under gum trees, their notorious for dropping limbs at any time of the day or night. Its not just the koalas you have to watch...
Also on koalas, not entirely sure when breeding season is for koalas is, however an enamored male koala is not something you want to trifle with... the koalas you pat at any of the major tourist parks are showered, cleaned, deodorized and probably perfumed. My experience has been in the wild you will smell a koala a long time before you see it.
I'm about 4 hours west of no mans land. Red belly blacks are less hostile than the other poisonous types of snakes we get here. Some of the locals even think a red belly black is a good thing as they'll prey on the young of the other more venomous types of snakes.
Telstra is a 7 letter word more accurately described by most four letter words... enough said about that.
That sums it up quite well!
Regards Red belly blacksnakes. Had unfortunate occasion where I pulled up on road for one thinking it was a big python. It immediately went under the utility and found its way to the bonnet. Took an hour to extract it from the 'webbing' in the bonnet. Was over 6 feet long. Also had encountered them in habitat and if you surprise them, they will lash out.
@@geradkavanagh8240 Do you blame them?
Tricking a pom with the dropbear thing is a rite of passage. We learn it in primary school.
Haha! yeah! the poms think they are soooo much better than us, but they are truly idiots
Sure, but even Australians are initiated into it, themselves by friends or family members before they pass it along to foreigners.
I remember being on a camp as a preteen, and being introduced to the concept of drop bears from my fellow peers. I was terrified, largely in part, because we were on a night walk at the time that I was informed (as is usually the time and place best used for maximising the fear effect).
It was much later that I learned that it was a humorous myth.
Visiting Yank soldiers are fair game too.......
Once discovered the tour I happened to be sharing a hostel room with had never heard about dropbears. They were flying to Australia in the morning, so I educated them...
Don't forget the hoop snakes!
The thing no one seems to mention in these kinds of videos is that the lawn is out to get you. If you ever notice a patch of grass that no one is walking on barefoot, it has bindis (or bindii). They WILL get you, and you WILL regret taking off your shoes.
Ive never been bitten by a spider, hardly ever seen a snake, but FML the number of times bindis have made me regret everything is far too high to count.
For the uninformed, bindis are basically cactus spines hidden in regular lawn. If you enjoy walking on cactuses, you'll love bindis.
Courtesy South Africa...bl**dy awful things that grow anywhere and can germinate even after 7 years
How they manage to be so painful yet tiny is incredible. But the real nasty one are caltrops, like tyre spikes, the are shaped so there is always a spike straight up. And these are spikes, 5-10mm long. Easily goes through the sole of your shoe. Happily draw blood.
And blue-bottles are like sea-bindis on steroids.
They won't kill you, they'll just make sure that your quota of four letter words for the day is taken care of.
True!
Oh yeah, hate bindi patches. Walked on em when I was a kid, learned quick to always have shoes/thongs on.
Okay I should perhaps clarify - dropbears are a half-joke. You see male koalas in mating season go really feral and can absolutely wreck your weekend. Having one leap on you from the trees or chase you is definitely going to make your day the worst. That's where the joke of mythical "dropbears" came from; as always a grain of truth which is perhaps scarier than the joke.
hell the little fuckers fall out of trees while sleeping get startled awake and react agressively. might not be a literal bear but, they are scary little shits.
Don't worry about it, he is an arrogant Pom who thinks he is better than us
Dont be naive buddy, nothin mythical about it.. 😡
But then again if you fell out of your home you’d be pissed off and lash out at anyone nearby.
I once tried to drive down a road in summer and came across a male koala literally inside a female in the middle of the road. It's like- what do you do? Try to go near them? Hell no. Eventually she walked away and he stared at me. If looks could kill.
Will add too - having played Australian football for 20+ years (in Canada) but lucky enough to travel with our national team to an international tournament in 2005, the Australians I met there will treat visitors like their best mate - offer to put them up for a stay and they are sports mad - children will ask for your autograph if you play AFL! Had an amazing time and wasn’t bitten by any snakes, spiders or sharks.
I'm older than dirt, & have seen about four snakes in the wild in my entire life. Spiders? in Western Australia we have "Redback spiders", some of which can give you a very painful bite, but they aren't all equal, other smaller ones just itch a bit. (Crocodiles? They only live in the Tropical North), Sharks? very rarely is anyone bitten, let alone eaten by one.More people die from drowning than either of them
Aussie here. I really do need to point out that getting harmed by our wildlife is shockingly rare and it’s frustrating how much people’s exaggerations are presented as fact. I’ve gone on many a bushwalk, been to the beach a ton, etc and I’ve never been harmed by anything more than a mosquito or leech.
- The only snake I saw when I lived quite literally across the road from dense bushland (I lived there for about 12 years) was a non-venomous one.
- Wearing enclosed shoes and not hugging a paper bark tree is a surefire way to not get bitten by a spider
- stonefish aren’t found everywhere in australia, box jellies arent around at all times of the year or in all locations and there are less shark attacks here than in America (also sharks aren’t the crazy killing machines the media paints them ass)
- ive never even seen a wild bluering octopus
- crocodiles are mainly a northern thing
- gympie-gympie is found only in northern NSW and southern Queensland, so just dont go bushwalking there
- ive been in the presence of wild kangaroos before and they are more likely to run away than attack
- our hospitals are stocked with every type of antivenom you could possibly need, unlike places like america, which means you are far less likely to die from a venomous animal here anyway
I could go on and on. It is insane to me that people call australia dangerous. America is far scarier, with moose, bison, bears, mountain lions, wolves, etc as *well* as snakes and spiders. And overseas animals can have rabies, so a tiny little bat with a bite you can’t even feel could straight up kill anyone in America. Rabies isn’t a thing in Australia, meanwhile.
I got to agree, in Australia, things bite you, In the USA, Things Eat you. But wherever you live, you cope with the natural surroundings and think other countries are full of danger.
@@lukes6868I saw more venomous snakes in the United States than in Australia. Most venomous snakes are weary of humans.
Nope. All potential mass immigrants should be warned that you will literally die within days of getting here.
Not worth it. Stay where you are.
Cheers.
Hi there Aussie too. I however lived in the Outback (Alice Springs NT) google it..... I have been bitten by a red Back Spider. Went to hospital and didn't even get anti ven0om. Told to harden the fuck up. Recovered a few days later. I have been trampled by a charging wild Camel. Again went to hospital and was told I was lucky to be alive. I have been to Darwin once an swam in the ocean. Touched briefly a boxed jellyfish. Another trip to the hospital. It sting like hell. This time it took them ages to get those stingers off me. So thats my experience of 51 years in Australia, most of it in the real Outback.
@@glennwatson True, the dangerous ones normally leave you alone.
FYI, Redback Spiders are the ones you find under the toilet seat on outdoor bathrooms/dunnys. Not Funnelwebs. That would be truly horriffic.
Margarine, instead of butter? Yuek.
Any toilet spider is bad news imho
@@RavingKats I have arachnophobia... But margarine?
@@makavelismith 😂 it's pretty popular stuff up here in Canada too. Butter is for recipes and I Can't Believe it's Not Butter, Becel, or Country Harvest margarine is for everything else lol
@@RavingKats I have lived most of my life here in Ireland, but I was born in Calgary. I just remember not liking margarine at all.
You need those milk fats.
Vegemite; the old advertising used to say “a mere smear is enough”. You only need a SMALL amount spread on toast with plenty of butter. Foreigners usually make the mistake of using it like jam and putting heaps of it on which even Australians don’t do.
Absolutely agree, a smear is more than enough as it tastes awful. I know few fellow Aussies who actually like it.
I actually like my vegemite to be thick like jam... and I eat it with jam as well.
@@schroecat1 With lots of butter on top of it.
I always found it a weak version of marmite and always had to add more to get it to taste right.
@@hatman1234 Aussie here and have it most days on toast with butter for breakie. Oh a sanga with cheese and lettuce was a school favorite 🙂
Fosters: Australian for beer.
Beer: Australian for piss.
Piss: Better than Fosters.
American here, I found I prefer Castlemaine XXXX over Fosters,but it's been since before the turn of the millennium since I've had one 😢
@@kensanders6241 I wouldn't feed Fosters to a dog. It's complete dogshit. Anyone drinking that swill has no taste.
@@danidavis7912 or is a tourist and doesn't know any better, poor thing...
@@danidavis7912 I am that guy with no taste. I don't really like alcohol or the taste of beer/spirits so Fosters was my favourite drink when I wanted to ''drink'' :) (or act like I was drinking).
@@vkdrk Totally valid! I would sip on a Bud Light at parties that had foul beverages, just to while away the time until I could make a polite exit.
Lorelei had become my new favourite editor by a mile. The way she responded to Dave's script with her edits and slipped in replies was so hilarious! Keep up the amazing work Lorelei!
Indeed!
Aw, thanks champion!
She's my wife.
"Isn't in australia they have like good currency? Don't they have like a strong currency? ... I thought they had lots of money?"
Unironically the best (unintentional) joke in the entire video.
I laughed at that.. I mean.. better to laugh than cry as they say OO
The Australian Dollar is similar in strength to the Canadian Dollar, slightly less. We do have one of the higher average incomes in the world.
Our economy has completely collapsed sad to say its just not being reported on as they are trying to keep the housing market going. It's a complete joke.
@OniGanon but why does a shop that used to cost $40 is now I $160 come on mate if you live here you know our economy is completely collapsed
I mean at least the government is maybe kinda tryna make it so we can actually afford houses
I'm from Melbourne, Australia and work in telecommunications.
In 2010 the government started to roll out their plan to give everyone (except extremely rural places) FTTP, they called it NBN.
The next government cancelled that plan and replaced with a very out dated technology of FTTN.
After a few years they changed it again to FTTC. Now they're changing as many FTTN to FTTP as feasibly possible, they send people out to survey the areas to see if it is feasible or not beforehand.
My house has FTTP and I bought in this area because I knew it had it because I helped install it :)
yeah NBN - Nobodys Bloody Network - I talked to the Fourth {!} guy who came to my house: he estimated that $3,000 had been spent trying to connect me: and I live in the burbs.
First Guy: looks at POLE across the street and declares, 'the node is at the street corner [other side] - gonna need to string it from there to this pole, need a cherrypicker' laters . . .
2nd Guy: jets and TRENCHES from the NEAR street corner to my house, then realizing that I have excavation for drainage at the close corner decides to go to the far corner of my house, but can't beat the trees and concrete and decides to run under my neighbours yard - puts in pipe and box with magic letters and blue/yellow winching rope.
3rd guy: Unannounced Drilling my house at 8AM on a Saturday morning directly above my bedroom window.
He is running the overhead cable from the Pole Across the street that the First guy tried to do.
4th guy: makes appointment, connected; has whole history; estimates $3,000 has been spent.
Another Government Boondoggle.
my parents use to have FTTN now they have FTTP
I have FTTP. Mice love it. Telstra techs pull the fibre too hard when they replace it,.. and so the NBN replaces it again a month later.
And if I want world class speeds, it costs a significant amount more, and it gets throttled by congestion when everyone watches their netflix, to the point why you wonder what the point of paying stupid amounts for it is.
The original plan wasn't actually going to be FTTP. Rudd campaigned in 2006/2007 for FTTN with limited FTTP with satellite in rural/remote, but when he actually formed government and got to work doing it, it turned out the "last mile" copper network was completely unsuitable for broadband in too many areas. In 2009 he announced that instead it was going to be FTTP in metro areas and satellite in rural/remote. Liberals, being amazing technologists and economic visionaries did worse than revert the plan, they went FTTN on all future metro rollout.
I don't know how they were going to magically fix the copper network cheaper than just going FTTP anyway (AND THEY DID BTW, THEY TASKED NBN CO WITH INSTALLING MORE COPPER), but they decided that that was the economically sound idea.
The NBN was originally conceived as PRIMARILY getting telecommunications to "extremely rural places" because the telcos wouldn't. One of the very first things that happened was NBN planned to roll out to the urban areas and skip the extremely rural places.
The good old aussie telstra block party, where we all stand out the front waving our phones in the air hoping for a signal.😂
As an Australian i loved this episode.... but then i always enjoy them! Love, love, love Lorelei's work! She is hilarious! Definitely a bloody champion!
Love you too, Champion.
@@EveryFairyDies fkn legend!
I 3rd that, the Lorelei's champion & legend, not the Australian part tho, Kiaora! But this Kiwi still loved this episode like a brother. 😉
Welcome from the town that gave Brisbane its name. Hope your warm down there🏴🤔😀🏴
Writer Dave wrote an articulate and informative script. A+
Simon. There's a reason he hosts around 13 channels. He's a freaking legend.
But hands down, Editor Lorelei was the absolute star of this video. I haven't consistently laughed this much during a Brain Blaze before. Whatever you're paying her, Simon - double it.
No mention of the most terrifying Aussie animal of them all, the Magpie!
As a kid I used to hand feed an entire family of them from our balcony in the afternoons, they’d land on the handrail and sing for their supper and if I wasn’t promptly out there they’d rap on the window with their beaks.
Then every morning before dawn I’d cycle my bmx through the bushland to the train station and as I got near the creek I’d pass near the tree they roosted in overnight and knowing what was about to happen I’d hunch down over the handle bars and pedal for my life as I would suddenly hear the sinister whooshing of their wings flapping and with sweat streaming off my brow I’d cast a quick look over my shoulder to see them lined up in formation like F1-11 fighter planes aiming straight for the back of my head. Then three or more of them would clap their wings on both my ears like precision bombers and deftly land on an overhanging branch and cackle with magpie laughter at me as I passed under them shaking my fist and threatening to poison them that night when I got home from work.
Btw, they totally knew it was me! This went on for nearly a decade lol. Magpies are fiendishly intelligent and capable of recognising individuals and very cheeky. That running battle I had with was one of the highlights of my childhood and I’ve no doubt that their decendents of the same clan are terrorising a fresh generation of Aussie school kids in the same leafy little valley I grew up in. I miss them. 🥲
True🇦🇺♥️
Aussie here The magpies chased my brother when he was little and all of the kids walking home ... except for me! (Weirdly).
I have been swooped twice - (the first time was a surprise/shock) both times long after I had left school.
For 15 years we had a family of magpies become very friendly, one of them will even land on my husband's outstretched hand 🥰 adorable!
The magpie parents would bring their young ones into the safety of our yard.
The youngsters would sunbake (so cute!) and sometimes peck at the windows and talk to their own reflections.
The young grew up and then brought their families to our yard. Many birds!
We moved a few years ago and we both miss our magpie friends 😞
There are 7 magpies that live nearby, but they are still getting used to us. Have never attacked us though. Maybe we have the right "karma" to get along with magpies?!!
I enjoyed reading your comment, thank you for sharing your memories. 🤗
I raised an orphan magpie. They are fiendishly clever.
They can also talk. Ours learned to say "F#@* You" from our neighbour, and continued to say it in appropriate moments.
Lorelei you're on fire - a TRUE bloody champion, the editing is chef's kiss😂
One thing you could have shown is the bushfire warning signs. The highest category is catastrophic which means "Forget running, you are fucked"
the second lowest option is "high"
Yeah but yeah.
Need to learn the wombat trick, dig a big hole and stick your bum out.
So I’m an American who lived in Australia for 4 years and did my master’s degree there studying wildlife, including venomous organisms. Australia does have a wealth of venomous organisms, though whether it has more than its neighbours in SE Asia is arguable, and the reason for its fame for it over those countries may simply come down to English language publicity and greater numbers of scientific publications.
The other main contributing factor is that as an island, Australia’s wildlife had relatively fewer common ancestors than many other places, and many of those ancestors were venomous. So when those organisms diversified and speculated, many of their descendants retained venom. As an example, the overwhelming majority of Australian snake species are Elapids (same family as cobras and coral snakes). Since the ancestral line was venomous, when the snakes diversified over time to fill different niches, most of them retained venom. The US on the other hand has only three Elapid species, a few dozen venomous Vipers, and the rest are nearly all nonvenomous or very mildly venomous Colubrids. If you want to know more about it, read up on Wallace’s Line. It’s a really interesting topic in evolutionary biology.
Also also, microdosing Vegemite is the way to go, and gympie-gympie is a nightmare.
Ok mate so this is your opinion after a master's fuck off mate did you even step foot out of the class room
>very mildly venomous
The seppo has acclimatised
Don't worry about it, he is an arrogant Pom who thinks he is better than us
we have 9 of the top ten deadiest (or most venomous, I'm not sure which but there is a difference) snakes
Gympie-gympie stings aren't so bad if you've got some bush knowledge. The cunjevoi plant often grows in the same microclimates and rubbing the sap on the sting makes the pain lessen. Don't eat it or get any sap in your lips or eyes tho bc it has killed people before. Bullrouts are wayyyyy worse
My favourite thing about Australia are the wildlife viewing platforms on Sydney Harbour Bridge. They close the bridge every night at dusk so all the kangaroos, koalas, wombats and other Aussie creatures can go back to the bush for the night. It's free, but it's super popular. I once waited in line for a viewing spot for six hours and the queue is kilometres long and hot in the Aussie sun. Sure is worth it though! Magnificent sight, especially seeing all the birds flying across the bridge!
As an Aussie, I say this should be top comment. It's such a unique experience; We need all visitors to line up to see it.
Haha..
@@bilindalaw-morley161 Tourists should be encouraged to go. It's an experience not to be missed!
Just remember to tip the line attendant $100 as it is customary and incredibly rude not do so.
LOL...very funny
growing up in the outback of Australia seeing snakes was fairly common. but just to be sure our cat used to bring LIVE copperhead and brown snakes to our front door. she did it 3 times in 2 years. she was confused as to why we weren't pleased.
Lorelei is literally the funniest editor on this channel. She deserves a raise.
Yay, more mushrooms for me!
@@EveryFairyDiesDon't forget the Magic Spoon dust on your birthday.
@@christinebenson518 WOOOOO!
I am here for Lorelei!!! The Holden Ute with the Chev badge had me crying. I own a Pontiac G8 which is on the Holden Commodore platform and here in the States everybody is changing out their Pontiac and Chev badges for the Holden ones. 😂😂😂
@@DeathByBlonde1 That's hilarious. Though I'm a Ford gal.
5:40 I once said, "I literally died". My papa said, "I'm not paying for your funeral ". The man is a menace. 😂
I'll admit I use it for emphasis because I know it bothers people. I use air quotes for both that and because I like to and anyone that doesn't like it can get bent. Lmao
@@Insertia_Nameia 😅
@@Insertia_NameiaBeing done for sarcasm is just fine. What bothers me is the valley girl (or guy) who says, "Like, oh my God, I will like literally die if he asks me!" You just know that they're too dumb to know what they're actually saying.
@@morrigan908 that in itself is a stupid take.
@@Insertia_Nameia I'm not sure what you mean by that.
Lorelei is hilarious and awesome! 😂😂😂
I heartedly second that!
Yea I love that this channel perfectly includes the personality of all three of the creators. And Lorelei is the most mysterious
Outdid herself on this one - bravo! 👏
One of the best editors on the internet!
Lorelei needs to move off Telstra. They are one of the most expensive and have terrible service. For all it's issues, the NBN has given us true choice of retailer. I'm with AussieBB, and have only ever had one technical issue for which I spent a grand total of about 15 minutes on the phone, and it just got sorted out. There are plenty of other good ones around too.
I remember my parents friends visited Australia for the first time and they were exhausted from the drive from Canberra and Sydney (about 3 hours at the time) and they thought that they must have passed Ayers Rock. Mum had to sit them down with a map and show them how large Australia is and how far away it is
As an Australian, Vegemite fking rocks. Vegemite and cheese sandwiches, Vegemite on toast, Vegemite just licked off a knife. Cant go wrong
Japanese friends love it too. Apparently it's like taking a hit of soy sauce straight from the bottle
Do you remember the vegemite chocolate that was available 10 years ago.
As long as the knife isn't serrated 😂😂
It sounds similar to marmite and I love that with cheese and toast, I'd definitely try it
@@ClaireJorkowskiI use to eat Vegemite and Nutella (well the home brand version) on toast years before that came out.
My dumb ass got mad at the buffering joke for the first little split second before busting up laughing. Well played Lorelei. Well played.
Eeeeeeeeeexcellent.
Oh that wasn't just me? F Telstra anyway.
As an Australian I approve this, Blaze. Yes, we do have lots of very deadly creatures but they are normally found in remote places. WE just like to tell everyone how dangerous it is her to keep away the more annoying tourists.
By 'remote places' do you mean outside the CBD?
@@hamishpmaccallum Given how many of our CBDs are right on the waterfront, often the venomous creatures are right in the heart of the city too.
When staying at overseas hostel I was asked how do we survive with so many deadly animals. Had to reassure them most will move away or ignore you. Still pays to be aware which seems to come natural with us.
That’s not true, I live in an inner suburb of Brisbane, and have seen death adders, brown snakes, whip snakes, red bellies in my neighbourhood. Most people don’t see them because they’re just not very observant.
Most parks have electric BBQ's. You just push the button, and it stays on for 20 minutes to half an hour. You can use them at any time. They are a bonzer idea.
So in november my NBN went down, I called the ISP over a dozen times to be told every time "Oh its fine on our end, has to be an NBN issue, we'll log it and they'll get to it eventually", finally in MARCH when I called to tell them to shove it the actual technician who answered the phone finally bothered to do a simple remote diagnosis on the equipment, in 10 minutes she found the router was broken and had a new one sent the next day. Nobody was told to shove it but they still owe me 3 months of connection fees not to mention the 90 bucks a month i wasted for cable tv.
Im so happy to get my 12 megabit download speed and 0.8 mbit upload back. Its almost fast enough to watch youtube on.
It frustrates me when I hear stories like this and the blame is always put on the NBN, ISPs are responsible for determining if the issue is at the user end. That’s literally their job. NBN run the backbone
12 MB you lucky bastard!... try 5MB 80km nth of Brissy
@@thekrutchinator Thats kb, small b, equivalent to 1.5 MB. And paying 30% more than I was 2 years ago when i was getting 50% more speed on ADSL. affordable high speed fibre my ass.
@@Marc83Aus Ouch!
12 flipping months of backwards and forwards between Telstra and NBN with no service. I was crying in frustration at the store in the end ..which worked btw(every other time they told me I had to call them). So ugly tears for the win, fixed same day
Sitting in my loungeroom eating cheese and Vegemite toast and loving every second of this. Chefs kiss to your Aussie editor, she is a legend and had me nearly choking on my toast a few times 😂😂😂
Cheers, champion! Glad you didn't choke!
I had no idea she was Australian until this episode.
@@MatthewTheWanderer I am Australian, Canadian and British!
Come to Australia in our winter. The snakes and spiders are dormant, the bushfire risk is negligible, and you'll love it here.
Also, even when the wildlife are active, they actually don't want to mess with you. They'd much rather leave you alone so long as you leave them alone. The climate and the trees are much more likely to kill you than the fauna.
I live 40Km S.E of Melbourne and in the 42 years of living in Australia I have only ever seen a single snake ever. I find it ironic that around the areas I live the bushland is safer than the ones in the USA / Canada. There are no Coyote's, Moose, bears, wolves and whatever else there is over there. If I waned to I can walk through my local woodland area at 2am and know that there is no risk of any animal attacking me.
You got everything right until you said that the trees are more likely to kill you. What tree in Australia will kill you? Even the Gympie Gympie tree will only cause extreme pain, but I've never even seen one in all my life living here.
There may indeed be a tree here that can kill a person, but that doesn't make it 'more likely' that you'd die from it, than the native wildlife.
How often do you see news headlines about people being killed by trees in Australia? 😂
Tree branches falling in a storm could definitely kill a person, but that's true of any place that experiences storms, which is almost everywhere on the globe. I'm assuming you're referring to trees that kill you in ways not related to being broken in a storm.
@@Samqdfand mountain lions, and alligators. Admittedly, alligators aren't as aggressive as Australian saltwater crocs, but they still kill people if they feel so inclined.
They also have bats, plus rabies that can be carried and transmitted from dogs (unlike the Australian Lyssa virus).
@@Aquascape_Dreaming I didn't think of those, excellent points. There aren't any crocs in my part of Australia so that's not a factor either. I could be wrong but I don't even think there are ticks in these parts?
@@Aquascape_Dreaming I guess you don't live in the bush surrounded by widowmakers and the remains of branches and whole trees that just dropped one day because it was too hot for them. Gum trees don't give you any warning - one moment they're standing there like all the other trees, and the next moment there's a big chunk of firewood on the ground.
You've just gotta try not to be under it when it drops, is all.
As an Australian I'd like to complain about the fact that we invented WiFi and still have horrible internet and Pirates dressed as service providers
Everytime an ad starts for Backblaze, it pops into my head that it is a Beardblaze like product, but for your back hair...
I always assume it's Simon's secret company...look at the logo for brain Blaze vs business blaze...not from the creative bankruptcy, definitely not...
Because who doesn't want thick, luxurious back hair?
There's a product called the BakBlade which is designed so that men can easily shave their own backs. It's amazing! Simon should be sponsored by them.
If he's anything like me, Simon's back hair is inversely proportional to his head hair
Do you reckon it would come with an applicator? Because I can’t imagine most back hair having folks could reach all of it.
The Box Jellyfish. Yep, our killer animals come gift wrapped.
Davo doesn't know about the Irukanji 😃
That's the infinitely more toxic box shaped jellyfish that is the size of the top of your thumb
BLUEY is hands down the absolute TOP DOG, thank you so much Australia for gifting it to us and our children.
Also wth in Mexico we make a "BBQ" and everyone and their grandma just ends up plastered, the cooking/grilling is completely optional.
Wholeheartedly agree! The show is damn good!!
Bluey is awesome
Meh. Show about cartoon dogs +4, controversy about adult topics -2, funny accents +1, final score = 3/5 mid
@@unarmored9973 meh, personal opinions exist, and so do facts. When one show accounts for more than 20% of the views on a streaming service, it's good.
@@captainspaulding5963 Certainly 40 million viewers is a lot of peeps my man, it's almost the amount of people that think the m00n landings never happened.
Hey but I'm not here to try and ruin your show for you man, I'm just some a-hole on the internet takin the piss out. Good day sir. 👍
Lots of people here saying they never see snakes, it must depend on where you live. In the past 4 months we have had both a Tiger and Eastern Brown snake in our yard, our neighbour has had 6 Tigers, friends across the road 2 Tigers and 1 brown and I just avoided running over a very large Brown on my motorbike near our driveway. I’ve run over snakes mountain biking in the past as well. These stats are not an aberration, we get snakes every year. But…if you leave them alone they will usually slither off.
Of more concern is that every year we cyclists will be attacked by Magpies several times. Driving/riding in rural Australia is also fraught with the constant threat of hitting large scale wildlife, including but not limited to Kangaroos ( bloody big ones) Wombats, Goats, Deer, Camels (yes really) and various dumb farm animals.
Australian here. Lightly brushed a Gympie Gympie leaf with my arm. Could still feel it 3 months later. The thought of a big sting is terrifying.
*shuddering*
Took me till the 20:21 minute mark to appreciate why the editing on this one was so 100% on point. You are a prime specimen of this fine sunburnt land, Lorelei.
The drop bear joke is actually us describing how insanely deadly it is and then tell you it is a joke after having terrified you. They exist and the joke is terrifying you and then making you think they aren’t actually real
It's all right as long as you explain - and this _is_ true - that nobody with Vegemite smeared liberally behind their ears is ever attacked by a drop bear.
As a brown snake riding, Woollongabba hating, Fortitude Valley avoiding, Translink loathing, QR reluctant of this brown city we call Brisbane, I am honestly amazed that Lorelei can do the editing work in a way that doesn't completely derail Simon's uploading schedule due to the speeds down here.
Hello! Rural Aussie boy here. For the internet part- it is hell. I lived about an hour away from the nearest large-ish city. NBN was started in the early 2000’s I belive? And the area I lived didn’t even have the nbn till 2023. By which point, I had mastered the arts of low frame rate for my games- and thankfully the nbn sucks anyway so nothing changes!
We live on a farm in northern NSW. Up until a year ago we were on wireless broadband requiring a $1000 booster to get 4g. Terrible service! Went Starlink in Jan 23 & haven’t looked back👍
I just looked up Starlink in Aus and I see that Telstra now re-sells it?!? OMG...
@@rob1733 now that’s…just sad haha, sucks to suck Telstra
The NBN was a 2009 announcement by the Rudd Government, who were going to do fiber to 97% of homes, before upgrading that to 99% when they realized it would be cheaper to do the extra 2% that way than re-use the old degrading copper and pay TV networks. Because planning and spinning up a massive entity to start that rollout takes time, the first connection wasn't until 2011. In 2013 the nation committed itself to poor internet by throwing them out and replacing them with the Abbott government who instead promised to do 'it faster and cheaper' by not actually upgrading most of the copper (and even being so dumb as to roll out NEW copper in many areas at a greater cost than fiber). This of course didn't happen, as all the planning needed to happen again now with a degrading copper network that didn't necessarily match in reality what the documentation said it should, so it took longer, cost several times as much, and limited some homes to 50mb/s instead of 1000mb/s. Finally after nearly 10 years of wastage the current government was elected and since 2022 has been replacing progressively the copper for most anyone not in a rural area that orders a service of 100mb/s or above.
For those in rural areas if you want high speed your best option is to pay for Starlink. Fiber to the curb, unlike the video, is not 3G from the curb, it's a short run of existing copper from the curb, and is actually the only solution they should have even bothered entertaining that wasn't fiber right to the home as it might have actually saved money and been easily upgradable on demand to full fiber, unlike fiber to the node which was a complete waste as it underperforms and is expensive to upgrade unless you do most of the suburb.
There's still 'pockets' of slow, but as long as you have a good ISP that isn't Telstra mostly, it's actually quite stable, I haven't had a single dropout of any length at all since 2019 and get 1000/50. Though that isn't cheap, and faster plans are seen as business plans which they squeeze 'businesses' heavily for to subsidize rural connections which likely cost much more than they earn. They basically capped uploads on residential plans to encourage businesses to spend more. 1000/1000 is available about anywhere non rural but for a huge $$$$$$$$ commitment, they give you a new fiber that only works on the business ethernet plans/network which cost a lot per month.
NBN started in 2011. We live in the Blue Mountains which is 90mins from inner Sydney and we only got NBN in 2021.
Simon's "horrific walk through the bushland" was my every day walk to the bus stop to go to school in the morning.
Also lets not forget the mid sized the birds which will happily take you on in a 1on1 if you so happen to wander in the general vicinity of their nesting tree. Magpies and Plovers do not hold back!
... and the kookaburras which take a delight in raiding your barbecue and zooming off with whatever they can grab.
Not just Maggies and Masked lapwings (Plovers) defending their nest. Kookaburras will PLAN an attack on your BBQ meat and know exactly how and when to attack to achieve a total and anonymous escape (eye witness). Bin chickens (Ibis) will thieve food off the table in front of your face. Silver gulls will snatch food of any sort out of your hand. Scarlet rosellas have been observed sitting on nervous tourists shoulders waiting for their victim to attempt to take a bite from a sandwich, when the bird gets in first!!!!
16:20 Yes, I agree with Bacon on Pancakes - but you need to 'Coffs Harbour' it : add lightly fried Banana.
Slice it lengthwise, fry it at the last minute with the bacon; Drape both over the pancakes, add syrup [or fake] and butter to taste.
Simon forgot to mention that Australia is the only place with "Rent a Skippy" where you can hop to work on the back of a kangaroo for just twenty didgeridollaridoos.
Go back to Russia
And just like electric scooters you can find plenty on the side of the road.
@@beehambonio3378damn those electric scooters really are just everywhere aren't they?
I live near a college town and those things are a disaster 😂 we work on one of the places that runs them (I'm an electrician) and they managed to charge so many batteries in such a small area of their shop that it caught on fire during winter 😂
You're the worst.
Kangaroos so like gaint rats
Lorelei is a bloody legend for her editing, she's my favourite one on this channel, I'm not biased, but as a kiwi who lived in Aussie for 2 years, I get her humour more than the others.
Also in all my two years living there, I only encountered 2 huntsman spiders as the worst thing. So peeps need to chill tf out about stuff that can kill you. Minus the internet speeds it's just a beautiful country and I would live there for the rest of my life if I didn't need constant medical stuff sorted for free back in NZ. (yeah I do have a medicare card it's just out of date now XDD)
G'day Kiwi champion, cheers! Love your country too!
How's the sheep mate?
Huntsmans are scare lookin though. can get big with hairier legs than a feminist
I've lived in multiple US states, and even the smallest local parks generally have at least 2 pavilions with picnic tables, and permanent hibachi grills set outside the pavilion. If you know where you want to go has no facilities, a small hibachi or weber grill is easily portable. Most campgrounds have permanent grills as well.
Have them even here in southern U.S, the land of mosquitoes and flies which make having any food outdoors look like should be shut down by health inspectors.
My local park in my hometown had a couple picknicking spots that, last I checked, had some metal grilling frames. Like, I think you were supposed to burn something underneath the grating and grill something on top of said grating. I don’t know what kind of grill that was, and they could’ve changed that by now
@@joshuahunt3032 Sounds like the permanently installed grills that are at every park I've ever seen, from Washington state to Florida. They do not have any cover on them, it's basically a flat piece of metal with 3 sides (where you put your charcoal) and then some metal bars making a surface (where you put your food)
The ones in Australian parks are usually electric. It mostly started as a safety thing, it helps to prevent bushfires (wildfires). People don’t need to light a fire if there is a free barbecue hotplate already available at the turn of a switch. Now you find them everywhere.
they are electric and free
Hey, Aussie here. You said you had an upload of about 50mbs, I have an upload of less than 1mbs, normally about 0.7mbs.
Love the video.
And the wildlife ain't always out to kill you, sometimes it wants to eat you while you are alive cause you taste better lol 😅
Hey, what plan and tech are you on. The only way you should get something that slow is if you're on a 12/1 plan, I don't think those are sold any more. 25/5 (mbit not mbyte) is the minimum. If you can't get that on any fixed line service they have to fix it. If you're on skymuster take a look at skymesh, it costs more but it's dramatically better. If you're on fixed wireless well then you may be boned, but do check your plans again as they have changed a lot recently offering higher speeds.
@@zyeborm yeah, I'm on optus fixed plan wireless, I'm in a regional area, and I'm planning on changing to satellite net soon.
Thank you, Dave and Simon - The funnel web spider will not get you in the toilet as they live in the ground - But the Red Back will defiantly get you - as for 25c that is a pleasant night where I work in the "Pilbara" in the north of western Australia. - Thankfully i am FIFO to escape the 47 to 50c days. As for distances, when we plan our Regional Exploration Camp, we drive 390km to buy food and then return the 390km in the same day and do not see one house on the drive. Love your work
Uploaded on ANZAC Day (according to my calendar.) Probably unintentional but a great touch, anyway.
Excellent spotto!
Lest We Forget
For the record:
I'm Australian, I'm 44 and i have never been bitten by a super poisonous anything. People need to chill the fuck out.
Ah! See what you did there. Or... do Australian plants actually bite? 😰
You've just cursed yourself to get bitten by something venomous within the next 48 hours.
you don`t remember do you? You were bitten when you tried to put vegemite on the very big spider that turned up at the barbeque.
@@kaymarrand9970 No, we're fine. I'd never heard of that plant TBH, but then i live in the middle of Sydney. :)
I like that you put the qualifier "SUPER poisonous" indicating that you've sustained plenty of poisons that fortunately didn't do you all the way in 😅 can tell you Aussies are a hearty people!
Lorelei you're a ledge luv the humour! Aussie here, and Simon forgot to mention that we shorten our words! Arvo is afternoon, ledge is legend, Maccas is Mcdonalds, barbie is barbecue, Brekkie is breakfast, ambo is ambulance, the list goes on! With spiders, I've only been bitten by a Red Back Spider & I was asleep in bed at the time and I still went to work! I was pretty crook by lunch & went home. I found the spider in my bedroom, caught the bugger & went to the docs (doctor) with it & he said not to worry & let nature take it's course (I was pretty drowsy by that stage & my right arm was numb) and take a couple of panadols. Next day, right as rain! I've been in 4 bushfires & the worst one was when I lived in Port Macquarie as the fires went on for a year & we were surrounded by bush fire. The closest it got to my house was a kilometre. Every day all you could smell was smoke & the skies were a burnt orange colour. Worst of all from that year long bush fire was the amount of ash that rained down on us. It got everywhere, clothes, house, food, beds etc. You were constantly gasping for air!
Vegemite is the best stuff on the planet. A good Aussie breakfast for me is vegemite on toast with a couple of fried eggs on top, sausages, fried tomato, fried pineapple, bacon (none of that stringy Pommy or Yank shit but proper rashers of bacon), hash browns and a ton of barbecue sauce. Another thing that Simon forgot to mention was the sausage sizzles at Bunnings every weekend. A bit of bread, a sausage, fried onion & your choice of sauce. There was even a media scare in 2018 when Bunnings wanted to drop fried onions cos someone slipped on them whilst walking through the store. Google it if you don't believe me!
The story about the NBN and how the Liberal Government took a good plan and made it simultaneously costlier and shitter than the original plan could probably be a video in itself.
The Liberal Party is our conservative party for anyone unaware. They're economically liberal but socially conservative.
Liberals aren't exactly economically liberal, they believe in (& have been) privatising everything. Anyone old enough to remember when QANTAS, Commonwealth Bank, & Telecom (Telstra) were all government owned (& significantly less dodgy than now)??
The Liberal Party believe in "Classical Liberalism". They're not the only Conservative political party in the world called "Liberals". Socialist Liberals is an American thing. Yanks being Yanks, they have to do everything differently. 😂😂
Years ago I was at a foreign policy conference between Australia and Korea. Turnbull was also there. They hauled up some mindless bureaucrat who told everyone the internet was evil and filled with pawn and the government's job was to stop people using it. Then the Korean bureaucrat spoke about how good the internet was and how much korea was going to make money from it.
I doubt turnbull himself felt like stopping Australians access but I suspect it runs deep in the LNP.
I love how the desk still has the hole from that one video where Simon took out a knife and stuck it in the desk
The continuity is strong in the Whistlerverse.
I don’t know how much poisonous stuff we got down here, but we sure do have a lot of venomous shit! 😂
Death cap mushrooms have entered the chat!
In Australia tourist don't get killed by animals or insects, however a lot die from swimming in the ocean. Many, many drownings. All Aussies lean to swim at 5yo, and are taught beach safety. Tourists don't see the hidden danger under the waves.
Been trying to change that since 1970's by protecting the crocodiles.
the internet in the UK, by accident or intentionally, it’s very very fast and very good. i can’t help thinking it’s the one thing holding everything together at this point
As an Australian, I live for when fact boi speaks about us lowly upside down peasants.
No, no, drop bears are just a myth. Koalas are friendly and cuddly. Go on, grab a random male one out of a tree and give it a big hug. You’ll love it and it will love you back (*snigger, snigger *)
and you are a right royal bastard....................
My kind of friend!
Drop Bears are a myth!? Obviously you haven’t been attacked by one.
Get rid of the s in the last 2 words
my very English dive buddy came back to my boat having collected several sea shells by putting them in his brief swimming costume (budgie smuggles).He took them out and put them on the esky.A blue ringed octopus crawled out of one and he was about to pick it up when I shouted STOP.Their bite is lethal mate.
We cant get to hospital in 15 mins!!!
My friend's son was a WoW addict and failed his freshman year of college, around 2005. Mom called her brother in Australia, booked a one-way flight for her son. He's now a pharmacist in Aus.
So you were shipping that "possible" convict out here before he got the chance to actually do "the crime".
Giving him a detox from the internet. Smart move.
He's a mediaeval re-enactor as well, isn't he 😂
@@davescott7680 When your ping is one large fraction of a second, time to touch grass.
Can confirm, EVERYTHING in Aussie is out to get you. Recently went for a holiday there. Got bit by a Quokka... An adorable HERBIVORE !!
😂 A little Quokka bit you? What did you do, insult its' mum?
don't fn touch them ..........bloody kiwis !
...what did you do?! They are so used to people's presence on Rottnest, hence the proliferation of selfies with them. Were you getting to close to a baby or something?
@@DreamingIce nah it was a friendly little nibble. I was crouched beside it doing the peace sign for a photo ✌and it just hopped up and bit a finger.
Either it thought i was offering it food (it was under one of those trees that have finger like leaf clusters, something similar to king billy pine, other Quokkas were nibbling on those) or it is just a particularly war mongering marsupial
The quokka smelt that you weren't from there 😂
Oh fuck yeah! I wasn't expecting this!
If you do a second one:
- Kangaroos being shredded AF and not afraid to have a slapping match in residential areas. Like throwing one another through fences.
- Australian's past time of taking the piss out of foreigners. Like saying everyone rides kangaroos, and when they go through water they use their tail as a propeller, or the time a Scottish journalist was made to wear gridiron armour before holding a koala... convinced it was a drop bear.
- Queensland is essentially Florida but with more deadly animals and less guns (come at me Lorelei!)
- The recipe for ANZAC biscuits is protected by law
- MAGPIES
And to round it out on a positive note... quokkas.
And canine cane toad addiction.
Magpies are far scarier than drop bears. Drop bears fall. And then attack. Magpies can fly.
Quokka are basically mini marsupial Jesuses
We seemed to have forgotten the worst one, Saltys.
The thing about Vegemite is the drop bears can smell it on you & know that you are Australian & leave you alone
As a Canadian that lived in Oz for 5yrs, I can confirm ALL of these,lol
2:30 - Mid roll ads
4:30 - Chapter 1 - The entire country is literally out to kill out
10:05 - Chapter 2 - BBQ obsession
13:35 - Chapter 3 - Vegemite
18:15 - Chapter 4 - Terrible internet
Need to add the time stamps of the mesothelioma references 😂👌
That buffering joke was hands down the best piece of editing I've ever witnessed. Ya got me.
Wait, that wasn't real? Ah crap...
I’m a 69 year old Aussie farmer from Victoria and I’ve never even seen a funnel web spider in real life. Hardly ever see snakes and we don’t have crocodiles in Victoria. The octopus and shark issues are easily avoided by staying out of the water!!! The whole “dangerous animals and arachnids” is a comedy narrative Aussies love to promote!
I'm from Brisbane and that was the most accurate map of Brisbane I have seen in my life. Top shelf that one!
NBN Co told my Sister's boyfriend that the fault was with his router config and he had to contact his service provider's technical department.
He was working as a senior tech for iiNet, they were telling him to contact the people who escalate technical problems to the people who escalate technical problems to him.
Turned out to be a grounding issue on a piece of NBN Co equipment. It was affecting an entire street. They had an entire street calling and complaining, several ISPs, and they were still insisting it wasn't their issue.
Fucking Jesus.
Sounds like Rogers customer service here in Canada, half the country was down including cell service but "Seems to be problem on your end sir, all our equipment is functioning properly." and that was their story for hours before finally admitting to I think a configuration fault on the backbone.
@@1300BlueStar Oooof
Aussie here with fast, reliable internet.
The issue is that nothing is hosted within 700 km of here so latency makes everything take a while.
Between local offices, or home and office I have AMAZING speeds - as long as I don't want to include the rest of the world when using the internet.
Same. But that buffer gag got me though.
Drop-bears are iconic critters and we kinda like you too mate. We love a good chat, like you, but you forgot the irukandji - pain unlike anything; "Please cut my leg off, no wait, I'll do it quicker."
Aussie here and I have to say Vegemite has to be my favourite sandwich spread, I honestly love it and don’t understand how people don’t
Hey, Fellow Aussie here.. Just wanted to inform fellow Aussies about Starlink As I use it and have used it for almost a year now.. I live in sunshine Coast, Queensland (so not remote at all) and I average around 150-200mbps down and 15-20mbps up (Ping around 20-40 which in 99% of games I don't notice).. Only really gets poor in severe weather (poor being below 100mbps) and only ever dropped out in that hectic lightning storm time at the start of the year and only for an hour or so (power was out longer but hooked up a genny and worked a treat)..
Biggest downside IMO is price, I got a refurb kit at $300 and pay $140p/m so it's much cheaper to stick to the 'National Broken Network' but i as a gamer and large consumer of the interwebs (hundreds-thousand GBp/m easy) don't see myself going back to aussie net until some big changes happen.
Anyway hope this helps some people and Have a good one! :)
As an Aussie from Newcastle, I've heard nothing but fantastic things about Starlink! As quick as I am to criticise Musk and his questionable business decisions - it really seems like he's nailed it with this one, I reckon he should focus more on internet services bc I can genuinely see him revolutionising the game.
I also hear from those waaaay outback who rely on it and they seem to love it.
PS. a good friend of mine comes from the sunny coast and he thinks it's pretty similar down here
"I live in sunshine Coast, Queensland"
I'm sorry.
The hell? You're getting less than 200 ping?!
@Grane1234 Yeah average ping is like around 20 on landlines (lower is better)
@@PanicGoat Christ, I would NOT be happy with a 20 ping. If my ping is over 10, I get a bit surely.
1) Vegemite is awesome. I always have a jar around.
2) Spicy Lorilei is brilliant! One of my other favorite creators is Australian and based on her editing of this vid, I am now convinced that, "Fucking Telstra mate" is as common as a comma. 🤣🤣
Tis indeed a common refrain spouted from many mouth down here. And thank you! I love being spicy!
Nobody jokes about the drop bears... you show them respect.
White Tail Spiders can cause necrosis, including loss of limbs. Also, you're forgetting our ants... They can jump and 1/10 people can have anaphylaxis shock when stung. :)
From 2008 until late 2014 I used to live in a tiny weatherboard house in Warragul, Victoria that I am sure was the National headquarters for whitetails. I had never been bitten before we moved there. First time I wS bitten was after the Black Saturday bushfire on the right hand side of my back. Not a pleasant experience. The next time I was bitten in three time, on either side of my back and on my lower left leg. It had crawled into bed with me . The leg was worst because I think I rolled on it causing a deeper bite. It felt like someone had lit a match in my leg. The third time was on my face and that was lanced under anaesthia in hospital. Do not miss them at all. My husband took to spaying down the outside of the house every six months and you should have seen the amount that pored out.
@@muffinandme1 I knew one fellow who had to burn a bite wound out with acid as no treatment was stopping the gradual spread of necrosis. Another person got s so sick they couldn't work for two years. Those white tall spiders are no joke.
I've live in Australia my whole life, just over 50 years and I've not once died because of anything dangerous like snakes or spiders, my pet drop bear takes care of them for me!
Not once died? Surely at least once?
Liar, you can't tame a Drop Bear, unless it is the Kangaroo Island subspecies which is 7 times smaller than the mainland DB, but they can't be exported to the mainland due to quarantine. You might fool the overseas posters but Aussies know your are MR Fibber.
And our magpies protect our backyard from invaders.
Oh, tell them its customary to have a huntsman spider permitted to live in the house to keep the flies and other spiders away. I have one in my bedroom doing laps of the walls.
Me too.
I call them either Charlotte or incey wincey
Huntsman spiders eat cockroaches too!
Mine’s called Henry!
For Aussies, there’s nothing funnier than watching a visitor spreading Vegemite on their toast like Nutella
When Vegemite was first introduced in 1923, it wasn't called Vegemite. It was originally called Parwill. The name was a bad pun - the slogan was "If Marmite, Parwill". The name didn't catch on and it was changed to Vegemite in 1928. I was surprised to find that this wasn't mentioned in Wikipedia.
Struth, never heard that one before.
I've been telling friends this for over 30 years and over 95% haven't believed me.
@dietmarwolf79 I learned about it when I worked in the section of the National Library of Australia in the section that research and organised exhibitions. Wikipedia doesn't mention it but if you do a search for Vegemire's history you will find it.
I am from 1971, my gran was born in 1911, and that is one story never shared to me. though it does answer several questions about the Ma and Pa jokes.
As an Aussie, I cannot over-endorse Lorelei’s edits in this video to viewers from other countries. 11/10 No notes. Especially the back and forth with Dave.
And for anyone that wants to know why Aussie internet is fucked, it’s because of one of our previous prime ministers, Malcolm Turnbull. He saw the opportunity to implement fibre across Australia, and looked at how South Korea’s economic prosperity has been driven by their networks. So he decided “fuck that, my internet is fine for emails; who would ever need more than this?” - and promptly rolled out a system that may as well be made of koala fur and the memory of a HSP from down the local kebab shop. I personally know a video editor at a government agency that got a visit from the then communications minister, and he told me how they openly said that our current internet (copper, at the time; and still now) was enough for everything they needed. Right after my mate had showed them through a new production studio they’d just built which had 64 video feeds coming in from various sources. And now we’re all ducking stuck with it. Even in a capital city with $150/month internet it takes nearly an hour to download 1gig. Baller’s gate 3? Release day? Mate, I think you mean release month…
(/endrant)
Aw, thanks, fellow Aussie!
What's with the fiber ad (or comedy sketch?) about fiber to your curb, but then 3G dongle into the house? 3G is so slow wth
Please don't blame Malcolm for Tony's trashing of the proper NBN. Malcolm was just the reluctant communicatoins minister not the prime minister back then. Those quotes about the Internet being fine for what we have now are from Mr Rabbit and Mr BrandThis, not Mr Turncoat.
And you can always go with a non-NBN provider. There are quite a few especially in WA where some guys in a country town decided they'd just do it better and did.
I'm in an apartment block so I'm stuck with Opticomm (has even less stars on Google than NBN), which is like private fibre. Every company seems to have suspiciously uncompetitive pricing with consistent costs of around $65-69 for 25mbps once their six month deals go away.
@@dh66 It's how fibre to the curb works in Oz (though that is a comedy skit). Our broadband system is fucked up and unnecessarily complicated because our government is full of even more idiots than your average government
Editors for the Blaze have always been great, but when Lorelei did a "Risky Business" slide through the door, EVERYBODY upped their game. 😆
You win the comment section today. Thank you!
@@EveryFairyDies lol, from what I see, Julian's polishing his shades and popping his collar. I can't get enough of this!
Aussie here. I saw my first snake while living in the city of Adelaide last summer, it was a baby snake and my last view of it was as it headed under the house, can't wait for next summer to see what emerges from under the house! However I grew up in the desert of mid-north South Australia, there I used to go hunting lizards and snakes with anyone who wanted to go/was already going. Hence had numerous interactions with deadly snakes, now as an adult I am surprised one of us never was bitten.
Try visiting Australia in winter. Gets pretty cold in southern Australia and when cold you don't have to worry about snakes.
As somebody riding out the last of this month's data, that buffer was criminal 😅
Sorry, not sorry. 😁
The problem with the weather in Australia isnt that the temperature goes up to 25⁰C, its that 25⁰ is cool and refreshing day and in the height of summer it regularly goes over 40⁰
In Brisbane we just had 4 straight months where the temperature didn't go below 20c. No, not that the maximum temperature didn't go below 20c, the MINIMUM. Even in the dead of night. I get seasonal depression from the heat here, not the cold 😅