THIS is exactly what I was talking about in an earlier comment when I said that since you have lived in the west, you can "translate" Vietnamese customs (and their differences from the west) SO WELL, and I really love how you do it! Your vlogs are great!
I have a Vietnamese daughter-in-law. She is so very sweet to me. When she and her two children moved here. It was a great change for all of us. Still learning after two years. Whatever you can share sure would be a big help to us all.
I have been Married to my wonderful Vietnamese wife for 20 years. Now the roles are reversed as we have been living in America for 10 of those years. My wife has taken on the Western culture, and I still use the Vietnamese culture lol and I am American. We are always laughing at the role reversals!! BUT when I was in Vietnam I most definitely respected and followed all of the culture when dating my wife and with interactions with her family. Her family treated me as one of their own and still do. Watching your videos truly makes me appreciate my wife so much more!!
My mom who is Vietnamese was so confused when I got together with my current boyfriend because he was taking me on dates every weekend. She was like… “What’s in it for you?” He handled it well and said, “I get to eat too.” It makes me feel better to know it was more of a cultural thing and not that my mom doesn’t understand why he’d go out with me specifically 😂.
As an American man who moved to Vietnam nearly 3 years ago, I just want to say that it was like I had died and gone to heaven when I discovered the dating scene in Vietnam. Vietnamese women are beautiful, charming, delightful, respectful and, unlike American women, they don't hate men. I found getting dates as easy as getting wet in the rain, and I'm not talking about "paid dates" (if you want that then go to Thailand). No need for dating sites, and I avoided the bars. I found amazing young women eager to talk to me everywhere I went. Eventually, I found the woman of my dreams and we got married. I am now happier than I ever thought possible and I have no plans to ever return to America. So, if you're thinking about dating a Vietnamese woman, I say GO FOR IT!
I discovered Vietnamese women in 1970. My biggest mistake in life was not marrying a Vietnamese woman when I was a young man and wasting 50 years of my life on American women.
@@bboomermike2126 I hear you man. American women SAY they want men who are kind, sensitive, supportive and genuinely concerned with their happiness. This is a big lie. Men like that will have their hearts broken by American women who will then conspire with the courts to take them for everything they have. Vietnamese women, on the other hand, truly appreciate men who genuinely care about them and respond in kind. I'm sure you have discovered by now that once you capture the heart of a Vietnamese woman, she will dedicate herself to you for life. That is why so many men who come to Vietnam end up marrying a Vietnamese woman.
Thanks for this funny, but very informative video. This is not just interesting in terms of dating, but also insights into Vietnamese thought, culture and social expectations.
I can relate to most of these things even dating being older (46 and her 43). Saving face, respecting her family and using the right names (chu,ong,co,...), Leading even if she is a leader in her job. Only thing I see is public display affection (not in front of her family) has been ok. I m sure that her parents still expect me to marry her at some point (I do even if its our 2nd marriage). And yes the first time I met her parents it was at a restaurant and her dad seemed super distant (her mom much more open , long distance relationship doesn't help feeling secure) . Her Dad feeds me now though loll bringing me food or drinks when i m in vn . Lucky me I love nuoc mam :)
I can agree with most of these traits as a general rule of thumb, though do think how much these traits actually play out solely depends on the individual/family like most countries. I'm British and my wife is Vietnamese and we live in Da Nang. Though her father is more traditional, the family in general are all pretty laid back and insist I don't worry too much about the formalities and traditions as they understand I'm foreign. Though I do try at specific gatherings, (still struggle with all the family pronouns when saying hello though :)) The 'saving face' trait in Vietnam is quite an important topic, and could probably be a whole video on its own. It is interesting and to a degree I can understand and agree with the general concept, but there are often situations however where I've also seen it can be used as a way for someone to not own up to their mistakes/errors/bad behaviour or accept them when pointed out, which in a way has it's own set of social problems I think. It's not uncommon that I've witnessed locals lose their temper and overreact or create dangerous situations due to the stigma of 'losing face' (be that on the street on while driving), rather than just take ownership, apologise, learn from it, and move on. Admittedly it can happen anywhere, but does seem 'losing face' has a much bigger impact here on peoples behaviour during confrontations (especially on the roads from personal experience) so being very aware/mindful of your approach as a foreigner in particular can make all the difference between a calm resolution, or a car/van driver chasing after you and trying to mow you down out of rage over a disagreement ;)
Great post! I have lived in China many years and now might go live in Vietnam. I’m American and married a Chinese woman. I found at work in China or interacting that Chinese (some) will go beyond “saving face” to just out right lying! For many Asian people “losing face “ is beyond comprehension to them and I know this to be especially true in China 🇨🇳. It actually effected my marriage to where later I had to divorce my Chinese wife. It became unbearable, but I would still love to meet someone in my life.
My asawa used saving face often in the beginning our relationship when she was embarrassed and didn't want to accept responsibility for small things. Two of our five arguments in all of these years are due to this. I eventually was taught by her father that it was better off for me to own up to her mistakes and shortcomings and let her deal with me being angry at home with her so so that she would learn from my pain and heartache over the situation. Same outcome, just I am using the Asian way of getting there. I certainly don't allow it to bother me for no more than a day when she does something and I can Tampo just as good as she can. It was her father who actually told me to do this method of dealing with my wife and daughters.
My Vietnamese friends say if you want to seriously date a Vietnamese woman, you must first win the heart of the family. Also, this may be unique to my experience or true in general that if you give her an expensive bouquet she will say “that’s sweet, but next time just give me the money”. One last observation, when you propose, never surprise her with a ring you bought. She prefers to take her Mom to their favorite quality jewelry store and pick out the ring you will purchase.
So funny and I concur with your advice. I definitely think that my absolute love of Vietnamese food helped me overcome my language barriers when meeting my fiancé family. Bun Cha is love in a bowl…and my working in medicine helped also..🤣🤣
Hi Van, thank you for opening up my eyes to your beautiful people and its culture, Vietnam is am amazing country, utile your next video, take care and stay safe.
I've always been especially attracted to Asian women and not long ago I discovered Vietnamese women seem to be my favorite. My Tam and other singers, all the ladies building awesome things in the jungle and other vietnamese ladies I know of impress me with their beauty, abilities, and nice personalities. If you see My Tam tell her I love her. 💘 🥰
this is pretty much true and can relate to my case....first time i was in Da Nang for a business trip and met a girl. Next day, she introduced me to her parents and we had a great dinner at restaurant near My Khe beach. I came back to US and faced busy work reality. And i missed and didn't respond her text right away probably got her anxiety high caused our relationship ended. However, she still text me as a friend and which is good. Anyhow, in life, we have to choose one thing first, career or family? Hopefully, i could settle it one day and Da Nang is always in my heart. Thanks for the video!
just two days away is the real time when i get married to my current girlfriend. We have been in love with each other for over 8 year, exactly when we got into a hight school . So I hope this covit 19 pandemic will disappear so soon, Thanks so much for your fantastic video, through this video , I can acquire a lot of precious experience of getting married as well as the way I should do when I go on a date with my wife ^^
The differences with dating a Vietnam native woman vs dating a Vietnamese American woman can be seen in this simple example. In Vietnam, poetry is everywhere. The slick tongue of a Vietnamese speaker when he flirts with a girl in Vietnam sounds more romantically than a Juan don slick guy in the states. In Vietnam, we say em oi, anh oi sounds cute but in America, a comparable is hey babe. The passion in words are missing. Like let's say a walk in Vietnam countryside and the scenery is peaceful and surreal but do that in America and with them American born viet girls, well her make up is melting and she wants to go home. In Vietnam, if you can play an instrument or can sing to a chick, you will get her attention and melt your heart. Do that to an American Vietnamese chick and she'll tell you to stop it. Vietnamese women are not alike. Like van vu there. I wouldn't hit on her as I see her like an aunt. How the hell you guys can get thirsty over her is beyond me. Dating a Vietnamese woman is complicated. It is either you have to become viet wash yourself or have her drop her Vietnamese culture down a notch and become americanized. I can't see it having done in any other way.
thanks Van, I think middle & northerner more strict than southern ... in general man should be able to provide financial support for his family and he & she should walk together on the path of life
@@kareliansocialdemocrat we have yellow fever because 90% of the western women are gross. Started acting like little ho- ho’s about 1965 and never looked back
"Yellow fever" is just another way to try to hang derogatory labels on someone who has a preference (which they have EVERY RIGHT to have). If you're going to use dumbass phrases like "yellow fever" why don't you just say what you really mean which is white men shouldn't be allowed to like, date, marry or be with Asian women. How racist!!!!! Imagine coming up with a derogatory name for a guy who prefers other guys or something like that? No on dares do that in this day and age.
@@kareliansocialdemocrat Another butthurt misandrist (yup, I get to use words like that too!) who just can't handle the fact that some white men have a preference.
Thanks for posting! Although my GF is Thai, I see a lot similarities in the culture. She has a Visa and can visit here more often. Usually anything that causes stress, is me being a bit goofy and her staying along cultural teachings. Definitely helped seeing the "too clingy" sketch, something I'm not use to.
Hmm...Been dating a Vietnamese girlfriend for over 5 years and It's pretty accurate, but I think it also depends on your girlfriend's personality. Language barrier is something I worry about sometimes but Vietnamese parents seem friendly and cool about me. I noticed they feed you a lot whenever there's a meal. Haha
I dated 3 vn women, married 2 and am still married to my last one with happy life and a little boy... I talked to a lot in the past, have some good vn friends women I consider as my little sisters and as mixed couple we are together with many other mixed couple nearly every week end... One thing important to show and tell, is that when you date a vn woman, you are dating vietnam. If you don't like the food, the karaoke, the culture,... no need to go further, the relationship is doomed already. As for the family, I guess i never had the problem as I have a good situation and I always needed a few minute to make the families like me, even I was married before and have 2 other kids... That is true that dating is taken at a serious level and mostly it is not like in the west as much people see dating as playing with no consequences. With the society pressure in Vietnam, mostly each woman after 25 is looking for a familly or her familly expect it. Even I was older when I came to vn, I met a lot of younger ones that wanted to make me theirs... :) One point that is not mentioned here is that a vn woman will accept girls around one guy as long as he is not her guy. Once the relationship has started, she will clean around and beware the one that will try to snatch her boyfriend... they are very exclusive... (i like that... )
You should never forget, you are the price, not your car, not your job, not your money. So many nice guys I saw in a worst case. You must have experience as a Westen guy in Asia.
Vietnamese women are the gems of Asia and I have every intention of dating and definitely wouldn't mind marrying one 😍 Also Van from Vietnam is so beautiful 😁🇻🇳❤️
@@TehranScapeOSRS it is wonderful you are a caring, loving and thoughtful person. I wish you all the best. Vietnamese girls are the most sensitive people in the world. I always have to be careful with my words sadly I still could not handle the double personalities after all these years .One wrong word you are done. Southern girls are more straight forward. Northern girls can be very stimulating like Vuvan and girls from Heu middle of vietnam can be so romantic and daring. Different strokes for different folks. Take your time meet different girls from different regions then you can be sure . Always remember you are the captain of your life. Enjoy VN.
Hi Van Vu..., A ( wise ) man would watch and listen to this video... two or three times... I think... I will watch and listen carefully to this video two times... Then maybe within a week to 10 days..., watch the video again... Excellent video and very informative, especially for a man and learn more about the Vietnamese culture, customs, and dating a beautiful Vietnamese woman... Awesome video, and thank you for sharing the video... * Don't forget to ( respect and honor ) the Vietnamese Parents... Bright, intelligent, and attractive... Mike in Montana :)
I think dating Vietnamese girl in VN is so much different from dating Vietnamese girl in US or in some other western countries. Could you have a follow up video talking about these differences? Thanks.
I think its most important to put emphasis on how Vietnam is a very conservative country. Similar to Japan, people are very sensitive and very aware of how our minds can be harmed by many foreign guys who cant make it in their own country come to Asian countries for sex because they still believe we are submissive. This is Asia not the US. Women in the US hate men because of hook-up culture. Western women follow the bad guys and ignore the decent ones, because of parent abuse. They get used, then ruined internally by the social norm to have sex before you know that person is right for you(before marriage commitment) think about it.....your lifeforce was pulled out by instinctive reaction to physical intimate, but then its shocked when it realizes the person it tries to connect with really doesn't care...this happens on such deep levels, that it makes those people close up...they become insensitive. This then influences society and how children develop in the US. Because so many people have similar trauma, the mind starts to feel this is normal, this issue becomes burried. In Vietnam people are different because mindfulness as to what exists in the mind and lack of narcissism, make people more aware. This is why Americans complain about simple life styles, when in Vietnam more people feel content. We know this is true because of how the air is different in Vietnam... In Vung Tau the air felt old but living. It felt safe. We can only achieve flowing society if people take care to develop culture and society that helps them achieve internal silence....then when Wealth is achieved, "prosperity and happiness" grows, rather than greed..... In Vietnam its illegal to spend the night in a hotel with a Vietnamese national who is the opposite gender, when you are not married. This law makes sense to me. My past girlfriend was from Vung Tau. She was more sensitive than others, Similar to me. We shared to same awareness of how so many bad guys go to Vietnam because they think its lawless. She and I were both virgins. We both understood deeply how the mind can be harmed and be made to be afraid of opening up it we loose that to the wrong person. Awareness and everyday mindfulness is practiced by many people in Vietnam. Your maturity is based on emotional control. Im tired of misleading information that encourages foreigners to believe Asia isnt conservative. Vietnamese women are not sex hungry. Many just dont find foreigners who know not to take advantage of them. Yes there are Japanese in Vietnam too.
VERY good synopsis of the existing culture of Modernism throughout our Western world/culture. It is rapidly poisoning the whole world. Narcissism is the end result of so many people being soul-damaged by the behaviors you described. I know...I have lived it.
I am interested in a Vietnamese lady. I am in the US and she is in Thanh Hoa. We have talked quite a bit over the last month and I really care deeply about her. We have discussed marriage and I’m interested in marrying her. I don’t want to mess this relationship up. Can you give me some tips on what to say and how not to hurt her feelings?
'@@winthorpetrois that's ridiculous too, I'm Vietnamese and I want to show you that Vietnamese girls only want to get married when the relationship lasts for long enough and they have to be sure about many things
This was a very interesting video, thank you for sharing. I have been most interested in the Vietnamese culture since having the pleasure of meeting a family in america. I have had to pleasure of being around this family for over 20 years. They have actually suggested that I travel with them to the West Coast to meet their parents. So any additional information when meeting someone who is of the Elder culture would be most helpful.
I went out with a vietnamese girl and all she did was yell at me every 5 minutes. It was awful. I had to constantly take pictures of her and she always complained the pictures were terrible while cursing at me
I would have loved to started watching your RUclips videos a year or two sooner. Before I started going out with my (now) wife. I had to learn everything the ward way.
Some lovely Vietnamese people in my church. Not trying to date. But glad to learn that I haven't inadvertently been treading poorly over cultural lines! (Dude, must find some that play Catan!)
My girlfriend LOVES boba without boba( so it’s basically milk tea) we once walked 4 km just to have one. I mean we can take a grab but this way we can talk more😅
some from the west might think its materialistic , but in asia , south east asia, especially countries where the those parents , they grew up poor , everything is a strive, and every penny very difficult to earn, and most of the grandparents and parents generation , dont get to finish high school even ... makes them revere and look up to educated professionals doctors , especially, and they seek practicality , and a solid son in law, so manners, gentlemen quality, and also a good job , or a good career, a good salary is important , its more practical safety for their daughters not to suffer like them, and hope they marry into a better life , or at least not a downgrade. how much you love that boy is secondary. and having a house on mortgage or a car is a bonus , showing your prepared and you have a ''nest'' shows you're future planning is good and you're a dependable. so an answer like '' we are just going to chilll for a couple of years travel the world and see what happens'' answer will get a big frown. '' care-free'' is negative value. pragmatic preparedness and stability is highly desired , for woman and parents of asia origin like vietnam,malaysia, china, thailand etc.
Pro tip- when you guys first ask out a Vietnamese girl- be prepared for a NO at that point- just blow it off and ask out again a little later. You may have to ask 3 times Each time don’t make a big deal of it. Don’t lose your cool Of course- each situation is different.
That is very good information for younger people. I meet my future wife on my 72 birthday. We get married when I was 74 and my is 61. So I am the oldest in my Vietnamese family.
ohhh - making the point --- brings out the Mercedes car fob & the accordion of 'platinum' credit cards --- oh so funny --- yep, good manners only go so far ....... BUT you won't be able to get to know the family without them and a conversational ability including listening ---- and a certain sense of calm and appreciation. I've gotten to know people in only 3 or 4 countries but those are my takeaways -- similar to what you are saying. Thanks.
I had a "dating" experience when I was in college. As in "want to go out on a date" and then there's saving face. We were good friends though. BTW her roommate told me about the dating / marriage thing (facepalm lol). Bottom line is that women from Southeast Asia want an ambitious guy who is successful (money and career), polite, respectful. I agree with the "you are marrying the family not just the girl".
The saving face thing i feel is the most asian thing indian, chinese or any asian ethnicity , parents approval for their childrens marriage is super important.
Why save face? When you have their daughter, you have the control. Her daughter may choose you over her parents and if you have your own place and for her to move on into your domain, you do not worry about the losing face part as already hold all the cards.
Thanks Van! Very interesting, accurate and informative, entertaining and simply fun to dive into the Vietnamese culture. As a Chinese American I see a lot of similarities even with Chinese culture too. Vietnamese women are the most beautiful and sexy women in the entire Asia I would say and more importantly they are not high maintenance as the Chinese women (yes Chinese women have become rapidly extremely high maintenance surpassing American women) and easily pleased and content of life. I’m separated and will get a divorce soon. I’m definitely very interested in dating a Vietnamese girl and hopefully marry one some day. Keep up your good work Van to bridge the cultural gap between nations and provide alternative options and choice for men from all countries and cultures to appreciate Vietnamese women for their loving and caring unlike their Chinese or American counterparts. I think it is a blessing for men who sickened and tired of the most entitled and high maintenance women from China, US, part of the Europe such as Serbia
Xu dated a Chinese lady in college. I was told they were very subtle. 3 weeks into dating and she says to me "Harry, when are you going to buy me something?" What happened to subtle?
you are saying "the west" this is too general as many western countries have very different dating cultures, yanks have a very different culture to the brits and europeans
Some things make sense and I can respect certain aspects of different cultures specially how sweet these two look, but also here many situations seem to be very sexist.
Hello, this is very nice video to learn about vietnamese culture I really like your video and enjoy it verymuch I live in Canada now in my late 20 I was born here and my parent come from asia some 30 years ago I m thinking to visit vietname , but not sure where to start and how also too scare because I don't know any body and don't know much about the country, can you please help ?
I enjoyed your presentation and learning about your culture but sometimes it seems that a relationship with a Vietnamese girl can be high maintenance. They are very lovely though.
I absolutely love Vietnamese women, just being around them makes me happy, they are so caring. Nothing like Western women, very selfish all they want is your money and give NOTHING in return. I am very happy to provide for my Vietnamese girl, a house or a car it doesn't worry me one bit because what I get in return is a women who loves me dearly and cares deeply for me, will do anything for me and with me! But I really didnt' understand at the start what it meant to date a Vietnamese girl, they whole village thing and parents are so important. And I truly love that part of it now, I just didn't understand it at the start and wish I did.
not sure which western women you met, "western woman are selfish and just want your money " and you provide and pay for everything for your vietnamese woman, now thats hilarious irony
@@kippsguitar6539 there is a difference between taking your money and you offering your money. One is feeling given the other isn't. Maybe one day you will find that out!
start with learning a new language and by the way, swap your language with any girl you like, but at least you know she wants to learn your language too :)
You know you've been dating Vietnamese girl when you finally quit taking shower at night because your girlfriend keeps telling you about "toxic wind"! (yes if you know what I am talking about, you've dated Vietnamese girl) lol
Toxic wind is a widespread belief in Vietnam that the air at night (especially after 9:30 PM) is very harmful for your body, if you take a shower at those time you might easily catch a cold or worse, have a stroke.
@@longbeach225 the weather in Vietnam is a bit hard, toxic wind appears in late night or early morning, this kind of wind can make you have headache easily
THIS is exactly what I was talking about in an earlier comment when I said that since you have lived in the west, you can "translate" Vietnamese customs (and their differences from the west) SO WELL, and I really love how you do it! Your vlogs are great!
Thanks! Love the content. Just visited HCMC and love it. My fiancé lives there. Be back in March ❤❤❤
I have a Vietnamese daughter-in-law. She is so very sweet to me. When she and her two children moved here. It was a great change for all of us. Still learning after two years. Whatever you can share sure would be a big help to us all.
I have been Married to my wonderful Vietnamese wife for 20 years. Now the roles are reversed as we have been living in America for 10 of those years. My wife has taken on the Western culture, and I still use the Vietnamese culture lol and I am American. We are always laughing at the role reversals!! BUT when I was in Vietnam I most definitely respected and followed all of the culture when dating my wife and with interactions with her family. Her family treated me as one of their own and still do. Watching your videos truly makes me appreciate my wife so much more!!
Happy wife happy life!! Good man
disgusting.
That's sad
My mom who is Vietnamese was so confused when I got together with my current boyfriend because he was taking me on dates every weekend. She was like… “What’s in it for you?” He handled it well and said, “I get to eat too.” It makes me feel better to know it was more of a cultural thing and not that my mom doesn’t understand why he’d go out with me specifically 😂.
A nice time.
I like that little skit with the young lady introducing her boyfriend to her parents. I watched it twice and laugh so hard. Very good.
As an American man who moved to Vietnam nearly 3 years ago, I just want to say that it was like I had died and gone to heaven when I discovered the dating scene in Vietnam. Vietnamese women are beautiful, charming, delightful, respectful and, unlike American women, they don't hate men. I found getting dates as easy as getting wet in the rain, and I'm not talking about "paid dates" (if you want that then go to Thailand). No need for dating sites, and I avoided the bars. I found amazing young women eager to talk to me everywhere I went. Eventually, I found the woman of my dreams and we got married. I am now happier than I ever thought possible and I have no plans to ever return to America. So, if you're thinking about dating a Vietnamese woman, I say GO FOR IT!
I discovered Vietnamese women in 1970. My biggest mistake in life was not marrying a Vietnamese woman when I was a young man and wasting 50 years of my life on American women.
@@bboomermike2126 I hear you man. American women SAY they want men who are kind, sensitive, supportive and genuinely concerned with their happiness. This is a big lie. Men like that will have their hearts broken by American women who will then conspire with the courts to take them for everything they have. Vietnamese women, on the other hand, truly appreciate men who genuinely care about them and respond in kind. I'm sure you have discovered by now that once you capture the heart of a Vietnamese woman, she will dedicate herself to you for life. That is why so many men who come to Vietnam end up marrying a Vietnamese woman.
@@chrishamlin5863 I agree 100%. Kind, sensitive, supportive, nice guys come in last. Bad boys make out.
Vietnamese women are good because they are been well trained by Vietnamese man
I would love to meet a Vietnamese woman & merry her. They are so beautiful. For real.
Great video! Thanks for sharing it! I watch all your videos! Good job Van!
Thanks for this funny, but very informative video. This is not just interesting in terms of dating, but also insights into Vietnamese thought, culture and social expectations.
Thank you for watching!
@@WhatThePho what is your position in vietnam?
Hi bautiful
I can relate to most of these things even dating being older (46 and her 43). Saving face, respecting her family and using the right names (chu,ong,co,...), Leading even if she is a leader in her job. Only thing I see is public display affection (not in front of her family) has been ok. I m sure that her parents still expect me to marry her at some point (I do even if its our 2nd marriage). And yes the first time I met her parents it was at a restaurant and her dad seemed super distant (her mom much more open , long distance relationship doesn't help feeling secure) . Her Dad feeds me now though loll bringing me food or drinks when i m in vn . Lucky me I love nuoc mam :)
Hey Man! Did you marry her?
I can agree with most of these traits as a general rule of thumb, though do think how much these traits actually play out solely depends on the individual/family like most countries. I'm British and my wife is Vietnamese and we live in Da Nang. Though her father is more traditional, the family in general are all pretty laid back and insist I don't worry too much about the formalities and traditions as they understand I'm foreign. Though I do try at specific gatherings, (still struggle with all the family pronouns when saying hello though :))
The 'saving face' trait in Vietnam is quite an important topic, and could probably be a whole video on its own. It is interesting and to a degree I can understand and agree with the general concept, but there are often situations however where I've also seen it can be used as a way for someone to not own up to their mistakes/errors/bad behaviour or accept them when pointed out, which in a way has it's own set of social problems I think.
It's not uncommon that I've witnessed locals lose their temper and overreact or create dangerous situations due to the stigma of 'losing face' (be that on the street on while driving), rather than just take ownership, apologise, learn from it, and move on. Admittedly it can happen anywhere, but does seem 'losing face' has a much bigger impact here on peoples behaviour during confrontations (especially on the roads from personal experience) so being very aware/mindful of your approach as a foreigner in particular can make all the difference between a calm resolution, or a car/van driver chasing after you and trying to mow you down out of rage over a disagreement ;)
Great post! I have lived in China many years and now might go live in Vietnam. I’m American and married a Chinese woman. I found at work in China or interacting that Chinese (some) will go beyond “saving face” to just out right lying! For many Asian people “losing face “ is beyond comprehension to them and I know this to be especially true in China 🇨🇳. It actually effected my marriage to where later I had to divorce my Chinese wife. It became unbearable, but I would still love to meet someone in my life.
'losing face' (be that on the street on while driving), rather than just take ownership, apologise, learn from it, and move on ==> correct
My asawa used saving face often in the beginning our relationship when she was embarrassed and didn't want to accept responsibility for small things. Two of our five arguments in all of these years are due to this. I eventually was taught by her father that it was better off for me to own up to her mistakes and shortcomings and let her deal with me being angry at home with her so so that she would learn from my pain and heartache over the situation. Same outcome, just I am using the Asian way of getting there. I certainly don't allow it to bother me for no more than a day when she does something and I can Tampo just as good as she can. It was her father who actually told me to do this method of dealing with my wife and daughters.
stupid life.
My Vietnamese friends say if you want to seriously date a Vietnamese woman, you must first win the heart of the family. Also, this may be unique to my experience or true in general that if you give her an expensive bouquet she will say “that’s sweet, but next time just give me the money”. One last observation, when you propose, never surprise her with a ring you bought. She prefers to take her Mom to their favorite quality jewelry store and pick out the ring you will purchase.
So funny and I concur with your advice. I definitely think that my absolute love of Vietnamese food helped me overcome my language barriers when meeting my fiancé family. Bun Cha is love in a bowl…and my working in medicine helped also..🤣🤣
Haha that's great!!
Are you in nursing, a physician, PA, NP, surgeon? I am curious of the medical opportunities in Vietnam.
Love this informative video, I learned so much about the culture and relationships in Vietnam 🇻🇳. 😅❤🙏🙌🤩
Hi Van, thank you for opening up my eyes to your beautiful people and its culture, Vietnam is am amazing country, utile your next video, take care and stay safe.
Until 168hrs then..
Thanks Van! Very entertaining, and your actors did a great job! 😀
I've always been especially attracted to Asian women and not long ago I discovered Vietnamese women seem to be my favorite. My Tam and other singers, all the ladies building awesome things in the jungle and other vietnamese ladies I know of impress me with their beauty, abilities, and nice personalities. If you see My Tam tell her I love her. 💘 🥰
This person has a great sense of humor
this is pretty much true and can relate to my case....first time i was in Da Nang for a business trip and met a girl. Next day, she introduced me to her parents and we had a great dinner at restaurant near My Khe beach. I came back to US and faced busy work reality. And i missed and didn't respond her text right away probably got her anxiety high caused our relationship ended. However, she still text me as a friend and which is good. Anyhow, in life, we have to choose one thing first, career or family? Hopefully, i could settle it one day and Da Nang is always in my heart. Thanks for the video!
just two days away is the real time when i get married to my current girlfriend. We have been in love with each other for over 8 year, exactly when we got into a hight school . So I hope this covit 19 pandemic will disappear so soon, Thanks so much for your fantastic video, through this video , I can acquire a lot of precious experience of getting married as well as the way I should do when I go on a date with my wife ^^
The differences with dating a Vietnam native woman vs dating a Vietnamese American woman can be seen in this simple example.
In Vietnam, poetry is everywhere. The slick tongue of a Vietnamese speaker when he flirts with a girl in Vietnam sounds more romantically than a Juan don slick guy in the states. In Vietnam, we say em oi, anh oi sounds cute but in America, a comparable is hey babe. The passion in words are missing. Like let's say a walk in Vietnam countryside and the scenery is peaceful and surreal but do that in America and with them American born viet girls, well her make up is melting and she wants to go home.
In Vietnam, if you can play an instrument or can sing to a chick, you will get her attention and melt your heart. Do that to an American Vietnamese chick and she'll tell you to stop it.
Vietnamese women are not alike. Like van vu there. I wouldn't hit on her as I see her like an aunt. How the hell you guys can get thirsty over her is beyond me.
Dating a Vietnamese woman is complicated. It is either you have to become viet wash yourself or have her drop her Vietnamese culture down a notch and become americanized. I can't see it having done in any other way.
thanks Van, I think middle & northerner more strict than southern ... in general man should be able to provide financial support for his family and he & she should walk together on the path of life
True that :))
I’m from VietNam, that’s great to hear
Right on - get to the point reality is that needs a good job and bread winner despite looks
You should talk about "yellow fever" in another video, it's a big problem of foreigners who's living in Vietnam.
Yup. I wanna see that video too. I also notice many western men living in Asia having misogynist worldview
@@kareliansocialdemocrat we have yellow fever because 90% of the western women are gross.
Started acting like little ho- ho’s about 1965 and never looked back
YEp total facts and they are FEMININE =:0
"Yellow fever" is just another way to try to hang derogatory labels on someone who has a preference (which they have EVERY RIGHT to have).
If you're going to use dumbass phrases like "yellow fever" why don't you just say what you really mean which is white men shouldn't be allowed to like, date, marry or be with Asian women. How racist!!!!!
Imagine coming up with a derogatory name for a guy who prefers other guys or something like that? No on dares do that in this day and age.
@@kareliansocialdemocrat Another butthurt misandrist (yup, I get to use words like that too!) who just can't handle the fact that some white men have a preference.
A very insightful video 🙂🎥 Love your work! 😁❤👍
Thanks for posting! Although my GF is Thai, I see a lot similarities in the culture. She has a Visa and can visit here more often. Usually anything that causes stress, is me being a bit goofy and her staying along cultural teachings. Definitely helped seeing the "too clingy" sketch, something I'm not use to.
thailand is nothing like vietnam and differs in so many ways
Hmm...Been dating a Vietnamese girlfriend for over 5 years and It's pretty accurate, but I think it also depends on your girlfriend's personality. Language barrier is something I worry about sometimes but Vietnamese parents seem friendly and cool about me. I noticed they feed you a lot whenever there's a meal. Haha
Not possible hook up in Vietnam ??
@@doriangraham2644possible,go to the bars and clubs where most of the women are westernizedd
I really learned a lot. Very cool video.
I have been amazed by Vietnam since I was a kid. It's now time to go visit there and maybe find a nice girl. Hope they open up to foreigners soon
I dated 3 vn women, married 2 and am still married to my last one with happy life and a little boy... I talked to a lot in the past, have some good vn friends women I consider as my little sisters and as mixed couple we are together with many other mixed couple nearly every week end...
One thing important to show and tell, is that when you date a vn woman, you are dating vietnam.
If you don't like the food, the karaoke, the culture,... no need to go further, the relationship is doomed already.
As for the family, I guess i never had the problem as I have a good situation and I always needed a few minute to make the families like me, even I was married before and have 2 other kids...
That is true that dating is taken at a serious level and mostly it is not like in the west as much people see dating as playing with no consequences. With the society pressure in Vietnam, mostly each woman after 25 is looking for a familly or her familly expect it. Even I was older when I came to vn, I met a lot of younger ones that wanted to make me theirs... :)
One point that is not mentioned here is that a vn woman will accept girls around one guy as long as he is not her guy. Once the relationship has started, she will clean around and beware the one that will try to snatch her boyfriend... they are very exclusive...
(i like that... )
Yes more dating/relationship videos
You should never forget, you are the price, not your car, not your job, not your money. So many nice guys I saw in a worst case. You must have experience as a Westen guy in Asia.
One thing for sure Van... you will have ZERO problems getting a date I'm pretty sure :D
how come?
This comment is so tight
I am IN.
Loved the your video, i wish i was younger , i would to go to Vietnam , it look so beautiful.
🍷
This was fun to watch.
Vietnamese women are the gems of Asia and I have every intention of dating and definitely wouldn't mind marrying one 😍
Also Van from Vietnam is so beautiful 😁🇻🇳❤️
You need to prepare to marry not only her but the whole family. Good luck.
@Philip Nguyễn challenge accepted...I also come a heavily family orientated background 😎
@@TehranScapeOSRS it is wonderful you are a caring, loving and thoughtful person. I wish you all the best. Vietnamese girls are the most sensitive people in the world. I always have to be careful with my words sadly I still could not handle the double personalities after all these years .One wrong word you are done. Southern girls are more straight forward. Northern girls can be very stimulating like Vuvan and girls from Heu middle of vietnam can be so romantic and daring. Different strokes for different folks. Take your time meet different girls from different regions then you can be sure . Always remember you are the captain of your life. Enjoy VN.
@@TehranScapeOSRScough cough religion, most vietnamese don't want to become Islam, they have faith in folk religion ,Buddhism and taoism
So Pho where where you and your videos this time last year.
When I was dating my "now Vietnamese wife"?
Yes I totally like this being I'll be with my Vietnamese girlfriend hope soon after all this pandemic. Yes more like this please Van
Very interesting video please make more videos about the dating culture in Vietnam. I enjoy videos about interracial dating!
Im a viet kieu that lived in Vietnam for several years and even i was confused about the girls and the dating etiquettes there
Very informative. And interesting..having a Vietnamese wife in the near future sounds nice 👌
Really superb video. BTW Van=Eye Candy.
Thank you for this video. I'm looking to move to Vietnam, either HCMC or Da Nang. I would love to learn more about dating in Vietnam.
I have a youtube channel dedicated to moving to Vietnam with detailed steps and stories on what it is like. From TEFL to job hunting.
@@Vietnam_Chr0nicles I started a RUclips channel in May. JJ the Lonely Bull in Asia. We should get together sometime and collaborate.
@@JJthelonelybullinasia I would love that. No joke. Connections are everything here
@@JJthelonelybullinasia just sub'd to you
Hi Van Vu..., A ( wise ) man would watch and listen to this video... two or three times... I think... I will watch and listen carefully to this video two times... Then maybe within a week to 10 days..., watch the video again... Excellent video and very informative, especially for a man and learn more about the Vietnamese culture, customs, and dating a beautiful Vietnamese woman... Awesome video, and thank you for sharing the video... * Don't forget to ( respect and honor ) the Vietnamese Parents... Bright, intelligent, and attractive... Mike in Montana :)
I think dating Vietnamese girl in VN is so much different from dating Vietnamese girl in US or in some other western countries. Could you have a follow up video talking about these differences? Thanks.
Haha sure
The realization of unlimited potential based on abilities instead of dependence?
I heard the exact opposite buồn không
I would love to see this production. Where can I buy some good popcorn in Hanoi?
🤗❤️🤗 thank you for the video ... informative and entertaining
Hi, I am admiring your work, yes absolutely give us a video about courting and dating/marrying Vietnamese ladies please! Keep up the good work!
It’s a win for me, I love all of those customs and traits.
I thought he was going to take exception to everyone dipping their food into the same bowl of fish sauce. It was called "Double Dipping" on Seinfeld.
Nice condirions to know about a date in vietnam
6:42 That Chinese commercial was so funny!
Thanks Van. I learn lots when watching your videos♥️
Can you make a video what Vietnamese people do on Moon festival?
Yes of course :))
I think its most important to put emphasis on how Vietnam is a very conservative country. Similar to Japan, people are very sensitive and very aware of how our minds can be harmed by many foreign guys who cant make it in their own country come to Asian countries for sex because they still believe we are submissive. This is Asia not the US. Women in the US hate men because of hook-up culture. Western women follow the bad guys and ignore the decent ones, because of parent abuse. They get used, then ruined internally by the social norm to have sex before you know that person is right for you(before marriage commitment) think about it.....your lifeforce was pulled out by instinctive reaction to physical intimate, but then its shocked when it realizes the person it tries to connect with really doesn't care...this happens on such deep levels, that it makes those people close up...they become insensitive. This then influences society and how children develop in the US. Because so many people have similar trauma, the mind starts to feel this is normal, this issue becomes burried. In Vietnam people are different because mindfulness as to what exists in the mind and lack of narcissism, make people more aware.
This is why Americans complain about simple life styles, when in Vietnam more people feel content.
We know this is true because of how the air is different in Vietnam... In Vung Tau the air felt old but living. It felt safe. We can only achieve flowing society if people take care to develop culture and society that helps them achieve internal silence....then when Wealth is achieved, "prosperity and happiness" grows, rather than greed.....
In Vietnam its illegal to spend the night in a hotel with a Vietnamese national who is the opposite gender, when you are not married.
This law makes sense to me.
My past girlfriend was from Vung Tau. She was more sensitive than others, Similar to me. We shared to same awareness of how so many bad guys go to Vietnam because they think its lawless. She and I were both virgins. We both understood deeply how the mind can be harmed and be made to be afraid of opening up it we loose that to the wrong person.
Awareness and everyday mindfulness is practiced by many people in Vietnam. Your maturity is based on emotional control.
Im tired of misleading information that encourages foreigners to believe Asia isnt conservative. Vietnamese women are not sex hungry. Many just dont find foreigners who know not to take advantage of them.
Yes there are Japanese in Vietnam too.
VERY good synopsis of the existing culture of Modernism throughout our Western world/culture. It is rapidly poisoning the whole world. Narcissism is the end result of so many people being soul-damaged by the behaviors you described. I know...I have lived it.
I laughed a lot and facepalmed at the part "She's thinking marriage potential". Interesting video!
I am interested in a Vietnamese lady. I am in the US and she is in Thanh Hoa. We have talked quite a bit over the last month and I really care deeply about her. We have discussed marriage and I’m interested in marrying her. I don’t want to mess this relationship up. Can you give me some tips on what to say and how not to hurt her feelings?
You were talking only, and you were considering marriage? I'm dying to know what happened.
'@@winthorpetrois that's ridiculous too, I'm Vietnamese and I want to show you that Vietnamese girls only want to get married when the relationship lasts for long enough and they have to be sure about many things
If I was in Vietnam, I would want to take you out on a date. Good special reaction video from you sweetheart.
Can you do a skin care routine? Your skin look soooo great
Nice reaction video.I like how you give a broader perspective on what goes on...I've heard that VN girls tend to be very jealous(it also happens here)
This was a very interesting video, thank you for sharing. I have been most interested in the Vietnamese culture since having the pleasure of meeting a family in america. I have had to pleasure of being around this family for over 20 years. They have actually suggested that I travel with them to the West Coast to meet their parents. So any additional information when meeting someone who is of the Elder culture would be most helpful.
I went out with a vietnamese girl and all she did was yell at me every 5 minutes. It was awful. I had to constantly take pictures of her and she always complained the pictures were terrible while cursing at me
I would have loved to started watching your RUclips videos a year or two sooner.
Before I started going out with my (now) wife.
I had to learn everything the ward way.
Some lovely Vietnamese people in my church. Not trying to date. But glad to learn that I haven't inadvertently been treading poorly over cultural lines! (Dude, must find some that play Catan!)
Great video, did you link the original video that you were reacting to?
Oh yes, thank you for reminding, I'll do it right now
@@WhatThePho Thanks 😊
Haha was very funny the man in the restaurant with the girl and her parents. Lol
Another great video Van very insightful about your culture but the Chinese commercial 😂😂😂😂😂
6:54 that was so funny 😂
Once you’ve dated a Vietnamese woman you’re done with western girls!
This is spot on!!! 😂😂
You'r so cute. I love watching your videos, Van!
My girlfriend LOVES boba without boba( so it’s basically milk tea) we once walked 4 km just to have one. I mean we can take a grab but this way we can talk more😅
So cute
Aw!! lucky girl 😍
its funny the mix of different ideas and culture.I think in thailand they have that saving face culture too
some from the west might think its materialistic , but in asia , south east asia, especially countries where the those parents , they grew up poor , everything is a strive, and every penny very difficult to earn, and most of the grandparents and parents generation , dont get to finish high school even ... makes them revere and look up to educated professionals doctors , especially, and they seek practicality , and a solid son in law, so manners, gentlemen quality, and also a good job , or a good career, a good salary is important , its more practical safety for their daughters not to suffer like them, and hope they marry into a better life , or at least not a downgrade. how much you love that boy is secondary. and having a house on mortgage or a car is a bonus , showing your prepared and you have a ''nest'' shows you're future planning is good and you're a dependable. so an answer like '' we are just going to chilll for a couple of years travel the world and see what happens'' answer will get a big frown. '' care-free'' is negative value. pragmatic preparedness and stability is highly desired , for woman and parents of asia origin like vietnam,malaysia, china, thailand etc.
Pro tip- when you guys first ask out a Vietnamese girl- be prepared for a NO at that point- just blow it off and ask out again a little later.
You may have to ask 3 times
Each time don’t make a big deal of it.
Don’t lose your cool
Of course- each situation is different.
So, basically you have to beg.
That is very good information for younger people. I meet my future wife on my 72 birthday. We get married when I was 74 and my is 61. So I am the oldest in my Vietnamese family.
Great information.
Video Request:
Age gap relationship in Vietnam (older man with young women) ???
ohhh - making the point --- brings out the Mercedes car fob & the accordion of 'platinum' credit cards --- oh so funny --- yep, good manners only go so far ....... BUT you won't be able to get to know the family without them and a conversational ability including listening ---- and a certain sense of calm and appreciation. I've gotten to know people in only 3 or 4 countries but those are my takeaways -- similar to what you are saying. Thanks.
I had a "dating" experience when I was in college. As in "want to go out on a date" and then there's saving face. We were good friends though. BTW her roommate told me about the dating / marriage thing (facepalm lol). Bottom line is that women from Southeast Asia want an ambitious guy who is successful (money and career), polite, respectful. I agree with the "you are marrying the family not just the girl".
Very informative ! Good video . Wish i was drinking tea or coffee and visiting with you . You are so beautiful .
Good narration and very interesting reactions 😊. But I still don’t know what she is thinking and how long it takes to get married.
Hi
So helpful and interested video sharing, dear friend. Have nice day!
This is toooooo funny 🤣
Wish I knew these “rules” when I was younger 🥰
Great Job 👍
I really like Vietnam People and Culture...🥰
The saving face thing i feel is the most asian thing indian, chinese or any asian ethnicity , parents approval for their childrens marriage is super important.
Why save face? When you have their daughter, you have the control. Her daughter may choose you over her parents and if you have your own place and for her to move on into your domain, you do not worry about the losing face part as already hold all the cards.
@@liarliar1408 what is losing and saving face?
well, after stumbling across this I know I'm never gonna land me a Vietnamese girl then
Thanks Van! Very interesting, accurate and informative, entertaining and simply fun to dive into the Vietnamese culture. As a Chinese American I see a lot of similarities even with Chinese culture too. Vietnamese women are the most beautiful and sexy women in the entire Asia I would say and more importantly they are not high maintenance as the Chinese women (yes Chinese women have become rapidly extremely high maintenance surpassing American women) and easily pleased and content of life. I’m separated and will get a divorce soon. I’m definitely very interested in dating a Vietnamese girl and hopefully marry one some day. Keep up your good work Van to bridge the cultural gap between nations and provide alternative options and choice for men from all countries and cultures to appreciate Vietnamese women for their loving and caring unlike their Chinese or American counterparts. I think it is a blessing for men who sickened and tired of the most entitled and high maintenance women from China, US, part of the Europe such as Serbia
Xu dated a Chinese lady in college. I was told they were very subtle. 3 weeks into dating and she says to me "Harry, when are you going to buy me something?" What happened to subtle?
😂😂😂wtf?
Great video
you are saying "the west" this is too general as many western countries have very different dating cultures, yanks have a very different culture to the brits and europeans
I love this video the best. Very funny and informative. Keep the great content coming.
晚回面子saving face is so important in most Asian cultures! I find so many similarities from this video to that of Chinese culture.
My Chinese wife has her own way of saving face, she never admits to being wrong and everything is always someone else's fault. Usually mine.
Enjoyed Video
Some things make sense and I can respect certain aspects of different cultures specially how sweet these two look, but also here many situations seem to be very sexist.
Hello, this is very nice video to learn about vietnamese culture I really like your video and enjoy it verymuch
I live in Canada now in my late 20 I was born here and my parent come from asia some 30 years ago
I m thinking to visit vietname , but not sure where to start and how also too scare because I don't know any body and don't
know much about the country, can you please help ?
That chinese advertisement made my day...lol 🤣🤣 all the asian parents are the same 🤣🤣🤣
I'm curious about wedding traditions in Vietnam. How traditional is Vietnam? Are traditions dying?
2:24 I like how the hindu guy just jams out to the vietnamese song even though he didn't understand anything lmao.
I enjoyed your presentation and learning about your culture but sometimes it seems that a relationship with a Vietnamese girl can be high maintenance. They are very lovely though.
I don't have most of those issues because my fiance and myself are the oldest in the family.
I absolutely love Vietnamese women, just being around them makes me happy, they are so caring. Nothing like Western women, very selfish all they want is your money and give NOTHING in return. I am very happy to provide for my Vietnamese girl, a house or a car it doesn't worry me one bit because what I get in return is a women who loves me dearly and cares deeply for me, will do anything for me and with me!
But I really didnt' understand at the start what it meant to date a Vietnamese girl, they whole village thing and parents are so important. And I truly love that part of it now, I just didn't understand it at the start and wish I did.
not sure which western women you met, "western woman are selfish and just want your money " and you provide and pay for everything for your vietnamese woman, now thats hilarious irony
@@kippsguitar6539 there is a difference between taking your money and you offering your money. One is feeling given the other isn't. Maybe one day you will find that out!
start with learning a new language and by the way, swap your language with any girl you like, but at least you know she wants to learn your language too :)
"Nothing like Western women, very selfish all they want is your money and give NOTHING in return." Your misogynism is shining through
@@kareliansocialdemocrat truth hurts??
A lot of the cultural aspects in general and to dating in VN are similar to Thailand too.
You know you've been dating Vietnamese girl when you finally quit taking shower at night because your girlfriend keeps telling you about "toxic wind"! (yes if you know what I am talking about, you've dated Vietnamese girl) lol
Haha
Wait what? What is the Toxic Wind, I would like to know. lol
Toxic wind is a widespread belief in Vietnam that the air at night (especially after 9:30 PM) is very harmful for your body, if you take a shower at those time you might easily catch a cold or worse, have a stroke.
@@longbeach225 the weather in Vietnam is a bit hard, toxic wind appears in late night or early morning, this kind of wind can make you have headache easily