I have been accused of being rude or of not paying attention due to my responses or way of responding and also due to my lack of eye contact my entire life! More times than I could possibly count! It's highly frustrating! I even remember when I was still quite young, my father gave me a whole talk about the fact that I needed to "look people in the eye" when speaking to them, explaining to me that it was rude not to do so! Afterwards I began forcing myself to look directly at people's eyes when having conversations, and I hated every second of it! I have only just been diagnosed as autistic at 44 years old.
I have issues with my eyes. They don't crinkle at all when I smile or laugh. I'm 42 and have no lines. When I found out people believe that a lack of eye movement means dishonesty or cruelty it's like ... but my face doesn't do that.😩
Yep yep yep. I always thought people had very unrealistic expectations. Now, I realize they were only mildly unrealistic; for a neurotypical. Unfortunately, meeting these expectations is what makes people think we are worth paying enough to live safe, healthy lives. We probably would make good subsistence farmers, though. 🧑🏼🌾
I’ve been told I’m being disrespectful for not making the culturally expected amount of eye contact. I respond by saying I’m autistic. Usually stops that line of thought. I think it’s replaced by confusion, rather than understanding that it’s about transactional respect. I’ll take it. Baby steps.
It's wild that it is so easy for some people to make such judgments - that it is "disrespectful" not to look in a certain direction the way some other people want. It seems that basically it is "disrespectful" for (some) neurotypicals when other people just don't do what the neurotypicals arbitrarily want. Therefore, I think that neurotypical standards are very ofter "narcissism light". It is sad.
I have just had an Autistic diagnosis at 60 and can now start to understand so many things that I "Got Wrong". Now I know its Not Wrong just Different and maybe I'm not as stupid as I have been told I am since school.
My autism assessment claimed I have high traits of schizoid, avoidant and borderline personality disorder. And it states: “Maria reported Low Average scores for aestheticism and High Levels of intellect. She is likely to demonstrate little interest in the arts or scenic beauty. Her intellectual curiosity and pursuit of knowledge is considerably greater than that of most people.” It also labeled me as peculiar and eccentric. Think sliced judgements indeed! 🤦🏻♀️😄
If I got a nickel for all the times I was misunderstood due to these autistic traits
I have been accused of being rude or of not paying attention due to my responses or way of responding and also due to my lack of eye contact my entire life! More times than I could possibly count! It's highly frustrating! I even remember when I was still quite young, my father gave me a whole talk about the fact that I needed to "look people in the eye" when speaking to them, explaining to me that it was rude not to do so! Afterwards I began forcing myself to look directly at people's eyes when having conversations, and I hated every second of it! I have only just been diagnosed as autistic at 44 years old.
I have issues with my eyes. They don't crinkle at all when I smile or laugh. I'm 42 and have no lines. When I found out people believe that a lack of eye movement means dishonesty or cruelty it's like ... but my face doesn't do that.😩
Yep yep yep. I always thought people had very unrealistic expectations. Now, I realize they were only mildly unrealistic; for a neurotypical. Unfortunately, meeting these expectations is what makes people think we are worth paying enough to live safe, healthy lives. We probably would make good subsistence farmers, though. 🧑🏼🌾
I’ve been told I’m being disrespectful for not making the culturally expected amount of eye contact. I respond by saying I’m autistic. Usually stops that line of thought. I think it’s replaced by confusion, rather than understanding that it’s about transactional respect. I’ll take it. Baby steps.
It's wild that it is so easy for some people to make such judgments - that it is "disrespectful" not to look in a certain direction the way some other people want. It seems that basically it is "disrespectful" for (some) neurotypicals when other people just don't do what the neurotypicals arbitrarily want. Therefore, I think that neurotypical standards are very ofter "narcissism light". It is sad.
I have just had an Autistic diagnosis at 60 and can now start to understand so many things that I "Got Wrong". Now I know its Not Wrong just Different and maybe I'm not as stupid as I have been told I am since school.
My autism assessment claimed I have high traits of schizoid, avoidant and borderline personality disorder. And it states: “Maria reported Low Average scores for aestheticism and High Levels of intellect. She is likely to demonstrate
little interest in the arts or scenic beauty. Her intellectual curiosity and pursuit of knowledge is considerably
greater than that of most people.” It also labeled me as peculiar and eccentric.
Think sliced judgements indeed! 🤦🏻♀️😄