We got "the phone call" 3 days after we found out we were having a child with down syndrome letting us know "the procedure" was all set for Tuesday. 5 of the most miserable months of my life followed that call. At 9 years old, my son Mattie has taught me more than I will ever be able to teach him. My shadow. My hero. He's everything that I wished I could be in my life. Happy, healthy, handsome, non judgmental & the kid just cracks me up. Thanks for sharing your story with us. We get it!
I wish that this could be shown on regular TV so that everyone could see it! Its amazing, as a mother with a child with Ds, its so important for these messages to get out into the world. Thank you Tamara
This always makes me cry tears of joy! God bless you and your family. I pray for a world filled with people like you! You breed love, and that my beautiful friend is how we all need to be!
Thanks, Tamara Taggart, I recognize the negative language concerning trisomies after my daughter was diagnosed in utero. She had trisomy 18. Being a physician myself, I was shocked to discover the negative attitudes amongst doctors. I wrote a book about my experience, recently translated into English and available as an E-book. Again, thank yo for trying to change conversations.
Tamara puts into moving words what so many of us feel. Thank goodness society is changing and beginning to recognize the value of every child's individual abilities. The special ones will always need the love and support of their family and the whole community to help them reach their potential. Smile and talk to someone today!
The word "challenged" means exactly that so I never understood why anyone would create negative situations for someone to overcome more challenges. Kudos to you and your family for taking this positive attitude towards your little guy - to guide him through what he's dealing with. In truth, many so called "challenged" people don't really know they are challenged and go about their business in every way that's "normal" to them. It's the folks around them that are challenged to accept this. Bless you.
Wow, I was glued to the screen - You are an amazing lady, I only wish that more people were like you and your family and understood how our actions can make the real difference to someone's life. Thank you for making this ted-talk it's really made me think how I will treat people in the future - Tom.
Thank you for sharing this story. My sister has down syndrome so I can somewhat relate. No doctors told my parents my sister's potential either...she is now living on her own with a roommate who also has down syndrome. My sister has 2 jobs that she loves. She's actually upset if she doesn't get to work. She has a light and sparkle that I've never seen in anyone else. She doesn't see color, race, religion - she sees people and she gives love. We could learn a lot from people like her and her roommate instead of judging or assuming they have little to no potential.
I see a family with a child with special needs and think ... how wonderful ... God trusts this mother and father so much to be able to raise a child with special needs so He blessed them with this child. What greater compliment from God?
Excellent commentary on the paradox of 'special needs'. I, too, have a child with DS that is the light of our whole family. It hasn't always been easy but she has taught us so much about living that I would have never have suspected was true otherwise. Our lives have definitely been enriched. Thank you for talking about this so publicly.
You are amazing and sooooo right! Thank you for sharing. Teachers did it to me and my son A LOT when he was young. Wish I would've heard this then. Beckett is so beautiful!
Congratulations Tamara...on your beautiful family and your health! You put things into perspective well. A good message. Wishing you and your family all love
Sometimes people do not initiate conversation with other people not because they want to ignore them but because they don't know how to handle the situation. I think that deep down most people are loving but sometimes fear takes over and we don't know how to react so we take the easy way out and walk off. Normality is only a construct of our imagination because normality requires a standard and how could we possibly have standards in a world where everything is constantly changing (evolving)? The beauty of our world is because of its variety.
That was a beautifully presented and messaged speech. To the rude comments/bots, this has nothing to do with her being a news anchor. No expose stories, just as we move forward in intelligence and technology, we often do not change vocabulary/labels at the same pace. We see it frequently with sports team's name (Chiefs/Indians) or allowing the confederate symbols fly in the face of desegregation in the States. This woman captured these nuances well, and from her own perspective. She is not demonizing Drs. I worked at the BC Cancer Agency....most dedicated docs I ever met
Thank you for this talk ☺ ; I'm a future medical doctor (I'm a 4th year medical student right now) and u have teached me a lot today; I felt sad about your first encounter with your first Dr about your son; I wanted to cry tbh; I have seen many people with down syndrome and they r happily married and have normal regular jobs and live happy successful lives. I will also share this info with other doctors that I will meet in the future; I see your positivity and how radiant and kind u r....please keep being strong for all of us ☺ this world needs more people like you💖 may Allah bless u in this life and the next
I speak as a parent of an awesome kid with multiple disabilities. We, as parents have to provide our children all the love, care, support and strength they need to thrive. None of us are entitled to demand to be validated by anyone else. Nobody owes anybody platitudes or pleasantries. This world both beautiful and harsh, all of us in this life will encounter both angels and demons. Let's teach our kids not only kindness and respect, but also emotional intelligence and strength in who they are, so as not depend on opinions or words from people who don't matter. Don't make irrelevant people who didn't say something sweet to you relevant.
Thank you Tamara. A lot of what you said was the story of my son William. The more that he teaches us, the more that we are able to change the conversations regarding his life. We are very lucky that the vast majority of the medical support that we have received has been tactful and positive, but I still cry when I remember the early days.
This child is a walking saint. Too bad people don't want so many saints in our world. People with this extra small bit are some of the most beautiful people who walk this world. I feel honoured when ever I am in their company.
Tamara I cried for the experience of torture you had to go through on that first conversation really you should not have just been given negative thoughts from that doctor I'm glad you were strong enough to turn that first conversation into positivity your family looks so happy!! And you are happy Thankyou for sharing your story with us and your right just so right some doctors do not have the right attitude towards people by scaring them half to death with negative words and their manner disgust me! Love to you and your beautiful family ❤️
you presented this beautifully! My older brother has epilepsy and there isn't a single thing in the world that makes him any more different than my middle brother and I. In fact, he is probably a lot more smarter and well mannered than both of us. This speech is definitely an eye-opener to those that think that people with special needs children are weird and not "normal" because they're actually really special! and I think that it is about time we give them the love and encouragement they need and deserve!
Wow your son is definitely beautiful he will live a beautiful life sometimes people are completely clueless but let's minimize them and they will just have to catch up when they get a clue until then embrace your gift from God your beautiful baby boy
Hey T, thank you for sharing your story and I could not less agree with you, I have a 20 year old child who was diagnosed with learning disability and oh yes we were told all, how she will not be able to stand on her own but as you say no body who told us she was a blessing to the family and that there were opportunities out there. Thank God as I write the same girl who I was told she will never mount to anything she is so brave, very dedicated and already doing job training when all girls in her age are still studying not even sure if they will have jobs. All I can say to all the parents out there who have children with challenges do not listen to all the negative voices, the child you have he/she is a blessing, and if you find out their talent nature the talent.Thanks Thandi in South Africa
My little brother has Down Syndrome. Because of it, I have a special love and understanding of Down Syndrome persons and LOVE Down Syndrome children/adults. My little brother is now 50 years old and has always been the most loving, caring, compassionate person I have ever known. I just want to hug all those with Down Syndrome and tell them they are loved and very special. I believe God sent them to us to teach us to have that same outlook on life. They are real people just like any other person and should all be treated with love, understanding and respect. God says: Treat others as you would like to be treated.
I hate it when medical professionals make negative comments. I have friends who have autism that are told that they will not find a good job, go to school, or lead a happy life. These are the same people that are scoring perfect on every single test to date and are the most popular people in my school. They are also the happiest people I have ever seen. Medical professionals need to keep their doomsday Bull**** comments to themselves, commentary does not help anyone.
I am not challenged but I belong to two different minorities, which is not abnormal, but still I am selfcounscious about it. So whenever somebody treat me good OR bad (because of it I guess), I am feeling even more selfconscious about my differences, it's like you can never win, sigh...
yes, my mom had a worse speech from the first doc i had. he said i would be a vegetable and die by age 3 so i should be put into an institution and my parents should have another baby. i hate how docs condemn the different babies. we still have feelings and potential. we aren't throw aways.
u really touched my heart,I have a son wz autism and I love him so much , I don't pay any attention to any body how thinks that my boy is abnormal , I always searching for wide minded teachers, doctors, families to react with . the most important thing for me is to never give up on improving my son attitude , and he's improving by the grace of Allah.
Not always thought, we have had the exact opposite. So no hope is lost. Our doctor took a day (well an hour or two) off his vacations to tell us, he had experienced in the past with other trisomie so he knew what to tell us. We were made aware when he had 3 months, so a lot of consultations followed that, and none(except one maybe) didn't say anything bad and/or tried to convince us to put him in adoption.. our son is 5 now, our big boy. Loved that talk tho!
Damn I like it when she talks about that no one should be written off. She´s so right. And then I think about those machinist-medics, who are so insolent to their patients and give a damn about if the patients feel welcome and at home in the clinic. That´s at least how one can feel as a patient. They should be given a basic understanding of pedagogical principles and patient-friendly behaviour in their educational training.
Don’t kill the messenger, no one like to deliver bad news about anything. I can’t imagine it’s an easy thing to tell parents and I imagine they don’t always get the best reactions so I can understand if the delivery isn’t the best
why are doctors not trained to deal with people? My boyfriend just went through back surgery and i really felt like the doctor couldn't care less and almost like he was annoyed with my partner. Just an awful experience, he was in so much pain and then had to deal with this doctor.. thank goodness it is all over. Doctors need to check themselves.
I am 24 and have friedich ataxia, I was very upset being first diagnosed. It was very irritating being more weak every day. Then something very different happened in my life,I started to read Quran and everything changed, life was put in perspective and lt transformed me psychological and helped me being calm. I tell you this so that you guys know Islam is the best religion and Quran and prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) life is the best teacher
I am happy you are feeling better, but it's hard for me to get past the "Islam" part.. not when Islam followers believe they have the authority to kill people if they don't share the same beliefs as them.
Well,...we were told by clinical 'experts' : that our 92 year old mother had Alzheimer's. (Not so. What she had was mixed dementia.) We were further told: she would pretty much fade away after six months. (She did not. She was socially engaged, fed, kept safe, and often conversed with astonishing insight and warm humor). After being refused Medicaid - we rolled up our sleeves and cared for mom at home. 24/7, 365 for nearly three years, without a break. It was a game changer, for sure. Nothing, and I mean nothing will ever be the same for us. Mom died peacefully, in her sleep at home with us in the next room. The sounds of life going on around her. The dog and cat near, the music on. She was not shut away in an institution, group home, or care facility. She was not ignored, judged deficient, or shunted aside. Doctors, I am convinced, do NOT know everything. They have, in fact, a lot to learn about human possibility in general. Whether in the delivery room at the beginning of a life, 'opinion-ating' on the potential of an extra chromosome-d newborn. OR at life's far turn... with a ninety three year old woman, whose forgetfulness 'really seems to suggest' Alzheimer's.
If I could click "like" more than once, twice or three times, etc. I would. Awesome talk and it applies to all human beings who have been marginalized by society...
For whom is interested, find and see this beautiful french film called "Le huitieme jour" ("The 8-th Day"), made in 1996, rewarded with an important trophy for the two protagonists, the famous Daniel Auteuil and Pascal Duquenne, a Belgium actor with the Down syndrome, who became famous after this film. Pascal lives alone and is also a swimming champion and a dance performer, and there are documentary made about his achievements. He is also included in Wikipaedia. So, a full, accomplished life is possible and already achieved!
Just answering another vid of yours, (with dietitian Abby Langer) The cabbage soup diet gave me 20 years of diabetes. I was completely healthy till then (highest combat officer quality mark in the Israeli army, passing the air force pilot training).
I felt a bit saddened by this talk. It seems she allows other peoples (perceived) feelings to really affect her negatively. She seems to believe that her ideas are the only right ideas about Cancer and Downs Syndrome and any contradiction to her feelings is an affront. It is easy to be offended and touchy about words and opinions that people use- it is much harder to tolerate and even accept that people all have completely different cultural experiences and ideas/ feelings about things. I can appreciate her feelings and even see how she would like the world to be... it looks lovely. Being a real life human however, we mis-speak, we forget ourselves and say things we haven't thought through... Shaming people for innocent mistakes can often be the very catalyst that makes them uncomfortable around special needs people. The word retarded has more than one meaning in the dictionary... It is not likely any person said that to her to be purposely rude.
Well stated Traci, I felt the exact same way after hearing her talk. Sorry the doctors didn't tell her the truth the way she, who evidently didn't know it at the time, she needs all information to be given to her. I even know now that when speaking to her, that all information needs to be positively stated and optimistically discussed. I didn't hear the doctors saying anything out of line (except the retarded sweater comment). I see Mom's an anchor for a TV station so of course shes going to take a stand against the evil doctors and the people of the world that always stereotype and prejudice the Down Syndrome Community or should I say "The extra Chromosome Community" every chance they get. Her son will be different than the rest of the overly chromosomed.....how dare they state otherwise. I hope my son doesn't hear about this extra chromosome because if he hears about it then he'll want an extra chromosome too. I couldn't knowingly give my child an extra chromosome........doe's that make me anti chromosome too now?'I think Mama Bear needs to relax. As of the talk her son was 7 so she's just getting warmed up to the extra chromosome lifestyle. I wish them the best.. .
***** It is not bad to ask people be more aware of what they say and how they say it however, it is sometimes our own burden to accept that others are imperfect and that they are not as sensitive or experienced in certain subjects as we. I am asking her to use the compassion she requests to soften her own views. I did not miss any point. I stated my own point.
+Tracy Burnam I know this is an 'old' comment, but i felt the need to express my agreement with your point word by word. Your view feels balanced and constructive, for that i'm grateful.
Emotion is what made us human. Sje said what she felt. She isn't shaming or blaming someone. She is just trying to say that if the same true fact was firstly wrapped with kindness and hope, it would have been easier for her to get through this difficult times. Our words have the power to make or break relation with anyone bcoz it directly reaches our heart. And when the topic is subtle...I think it's always better to show some kindness. It never solves our problems but gives us strength to deal with in more positive manner
I have to say that I know some people with downs and they have jobs and people talk to them and are nice to them all the time, I think she assumes a negative response from people to much and is maybe to easy to misunderstand, and why would you just go up to a person with downs just to say hello, when that's not what you would do normally, and that would be treating them like they are not normal. I have to say though, the people I know with downs do seem to be really cool people
Amazing talk. No one is normal in this world and no one should be written off. Special needs individual are special people who have challenges and we must talk to them positively for them to focus on their abilities instead of staring at their disabilities.
To remove a tumour to give a mother, wife and provider to children a longer time with there family is a good thing especially when removing pain and suffering that comes with cancer. But telling a new mother her child will suffer and fail pain and probably will die before the parents will isn't happy news and I think it was right that the doctors gave a talk of a clear no-nonsense realism of what's to come. I think looking at this through rose coloured glasses isn't productive nor helpful. It's common for medical professionals to give the news of impending pain suffering and the future likely hood of disease in a simple clear clinical way. I think the doctors did the right thing and a new mother looked upon a new child as a wonder but the doctors rightly looked upon this as a human being who will know much suffering and tried to instill this on the new parent.. I'm not crule just realistic.
But having people make assumptions on what your child will and won't do in life.Saying they will never graduate school, have a job, get married.Will be a drop out.Will be an addict. Will be a failure. Telling you that you are a failure as a parent. That what you created is going to be a nothing,nuance an inconvenience to you and everyone else is so much better ??? Being that child that everyone always talked about you get to see the negative aspects of what doctors ,teachers ,employers and compleat strangers somehow think they have the right to tell your parents and you.You know what I am non of those I set out everyday to prove every one who said I can't wrong. That I am able. I am smart and bright. I am just like everyone else. I can do any thing I want in life just like every one else. I can be my own person that I am not a disability! I may have one but I am not one. My parents and every other parent of a special needs or challenged child has shown the true testament of what it
means to be a parent. To believe in use when not very many do . To teach use and to let us teach you to always be there for us and those are just to name a few
I had a person I worked alongside with Downs Syndrome who lived to the age of 80 seriously stats are not fact and are not allowing for people's resilience and an atmosphere of love which produces determination.Keep your "reality"it is not mine
I don't agree with anything you just said. Why shouldn't emotional intelligence be deemed less important when talking about mental health as opposed to physical health? Why is talking about positive experiences and ideas seen as less "realistic" than talking about negative ones? Why should doctors be expected or encouraged to talk about anything in a clinical tone without any sense of human or emotional intelligence, when research studies show a correlation between a doctor's warmth of personality and how highly their patients view them?
So she basically upset about how people talk about her son? I understand her perspective, but in my book you cant control what other people say, all you can do is how to turn those negativity into strength and change it into positivity.
Even though 95 percent of doctors are good ppl only bother to talk about the rest 5....In pregnancy we do a anomaly scan at 20 weeks and we give a counselling to parents who have downs child....but those conversations are very much essential and not to be taken as harsh....ppl forget the proverb "prevention is better than cure"....
Medics do tend to treat their patients as some sort of objects that need some mechanical intervention. They do tend to lack EQ and emphatic attitude. However, the big question in line with this talk is: If one has the early knowledge that the baby will have serious mental challenges, is it ethical to give birth of a human who will not be able to live to the full potential of human mind ? A life of existence, but not really living. Is that ethical or not ?
mindvolution but what do you do with disability or those that can't improve themselves kill them yes it is sad that those with disblties or other mentally ill people can't have a normal life or ignorantly happy life like you free of health issies but what do you propose we do kill them or people like me yes at times I wish i was one of the lucky few who defined expectations for premature babies and ended up disability free. But I did not and all the others like me did not either should I die because I can't get a piece of paper with my name written on it by some University and gian wealth be socially or economically free no
You've been very gallant. It should go without saying that having a child with down syndrome is a challenge. I find the whole argument of this talk a bit puzzling. Your objective is to have medical practitioners phrase things in a pleasing and hopeful fashion. If you have an aggressive tumor and your doctor paints you a picture of hope and wonder, you would be right to be upset after the fact if the treatment didn't succeed. It is perfectly fine for a doctor to describe the challenges of being a parent to a child with any form of setback. The reason that I say this is, just because you have handled it with such grace and compassion, a lot of parents aren't as intellectually or emotionally equipped for this type of news and they need to be made aware of what they are taking on. It is a lot of responsibility.
+Ben Smith I think you're underestimating the power of positivity. Just look up studies on the affect of positive attitudes on healing. Stress, anxiety, and negativity are all known to be catalysts of disease and unease.
There is a way to talk about the challenges that someone will face without implying that those challenges are insurmountable; "you will never _" or "I'm sorry that _" isn't it. And I agree with the other commenter who pointed out that research studies have demonstrated that when people experiencing a challenge such as a medical diagnosis or an exam or the end of an interpersonal relationship are taught to view it in a positive way, their performance and endurance improves. I'm reminded of another TED talk-social psychologist Kelly McGonigal's "How to make stress your friend"-where she discusses how and why people who are taught to view negative emotions such as the stress response as their body preparing itself to meet a challenge, they live longer lives and report fewer health problems. In short, don't write off or underestimate optimism, hope or other forms of positivity.
She is not someone with whom I would click - I find her not so likable - she wants to teach doctors how to talk but the doctor who called her was sorry - he was empathetic - what do you want him to do? Congratulate you and ask you to celebrate? What a delusional stern woman she is!? She is taking her frustration on the world of medicine- she does make some good points about communicating with people who have various illnesses because it is a lonely world for them - final comment: she needs to take her hands out of her pockets and smile a little more especially that she is trying to say positive things about her son!!
If I were a doctor, that's honestly what I'd do. You can talk about disabilities and mental health issues without treating them as if they are insurmountable challenges; saying "I'm so sorry" and "I don't think you'll ever _" isn't how you do that.
💎THAT'S SO TRUE & VERY INNSPIRERING MESSAGE!💎 ALL OF US BRINGS💎💜💎💎💎 SOMETHING SPECIAL IN THE LIVES OF OTHERS & IT CAN COME IN 💎💜💎💎🖤💎💜🖤💎💜💎💜🖤🖤ANY WAY OR ANY FORM!!!
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
"if enough of us care about something, then change can happen"
so well said. thank you Lady!! Much Love
We got "the phone call" 3 days after we found out we were having a child with down syndrome letting us know "the procedure" was all set for Tuesday. 5 of the most miserable months of my life followed that call. At 9 years old, my son Mattie has taught me more than I will ever be able to teach him. My shadow. My hero. He's everything that I wished I could be in my life. Happy, healthy, handsome, non judgmental & the kid just cracks me up. Thanks for sharing your story with us. We get it!
Rich Mistkowski non judgmental is the best people don’t realise how great these people can be.
...And YOUR conversation has changed me for the better - God bless and thank you
I've worked with children who have down syndrome and they are amazing people, really kind and happy.
I wish that this could be shown on regular TV so that everyone could see it! Its amazing, as a mother with a child with Ds, its so important for these messages to get out into the world. Thank you Tamara
The strong positive energy of MOTHER can change anything. God bless her and her good husband. Love for her all children,.
This always makes me cry tears of joy! God bless you and your family. I pray for a world filled with people like you! You breed love, and that my beautiful friend is how we all need to be!
Thanks, Tamara Taggart, I recognize the negative language concerning trisomies after my daughter was diagnosed in utero. She had trisomy 18. Being a physician myself, I was shocked to discover the negative attitudes amongst doctors. I wrote a book about my experience, recently translated into English and available as an E-book. Again, thank yo for trying to change conversations.
We are all perfect, in our own ways. Tamara, thank you for sharing. If you see this, please stay strong and keep shrugging off the negative.
Tamara puts into moving words what so many of us feel. Thank goodness society is changing and beginning to recognize the value of every child's individual abilities. The special ones will always need the love and support of their family and the whole community to help them reach their potential. Smile and talk to someone today!
The word "challenged" means exactly that so I never understood why anyone would create negative situations for someone to overcome more challenges. Kudos to you and your family for taking this positive attitude towards your little guy - to guide him through what he's dealing with. In truth, many so called "challenged" people don't really know they are challenged and go about their business in every way that's "normal" to them. It's the folks around them that are challenged to accept this. Bless you.
Wow, I was glued to the screen - You are an amazing lady, I only wish that more people were like you and your family and understood how our actions can make the real difference to someone's life. Thank you for making this ted-talk it's really made me think how I will treat people in the future - Tom.
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Thank you for sharing this story. My sister has down syndrome so I can somewhat relate. No doctors told my parents my sister's potential either...she is now living on her own with a roommate who also has down syndrome. My sister has 2 jobs that she loves. She's actually upset if she doesn't get to work. She has a light and sparkle that I've never seen in anyone else. She doesn't see color, race, religion - she sees people and she gives love. We could learn a lot from people like her and her roommate instead of judging or assuming they have little to no potential.
Uplifting to hear other parents get good things out the talk.
I see a family with a child with special needs and think ... how wonderful ... God trusts this mother and father so much to be able to raise a child with special needs so He blessed them with this child. What greater compliment from God?
Excellent commentary on the paradox of 'special needs'. I, too, have a child with DS that is the light of our whole family. It hasn't always been easy but she has taught us so much about living that I would have never have suspected was true otherwise. Our lives have definitely been enriched. Thank you for talking about this so publicly.
You are amazing and sooooo right! Thank you for sharing. Teachers did it to me and my son A LOT when he was young. Wish I would've heard this then. Beckett is so beautiful!
Not all medical people are negative about those with extra chromosomes. I know they are extra loving and will give me a hug when I need it the most!
Wonderful talk. We need more positive conversation in the world. To much negative conversation. Thank you.
Congratulations Tamara...on your beautiful family and your health!
You put things into perspective well. A good message. Wishing you and your family all love
Sometimes people do not initiate conversation with other people not because they want to ignore them but because they don't know how to handle the situation. I think that deep down most people are loving but sometimes fear takes over and we don't know how to react so we take the easy way out and walk off. Normality is only a construct of our imagination because normality requires a standard and how could we possibly have standards in a world where everything is constantly changing (evolving)? The beauty of our world is because of its variety.
Exactly !! .. it's me ..
That was a beautifully presented and messaged speech. To the rude comments/bots, this has nothing to do with her being a news anchor. No expose stories, just as we move forward in intelligence and technology, we often do not change vocabulary/labels at the same pace. We see it frequently with sports team's name (Chiefs/Indians) or allowing the confederate symbols fly in the face of desegregation in the States. This woman captured these nuances well, and from her own perspective. She is not demonizing Drs. I worked at the BC Cancer Agency....most dedicated docs I ever met
whos here because of UBC med cbl
Thank you for this talk ☺ ; I'm a future medical doctor (I'm a 4th year medical student right now) and u have teached me a lot today; I felt sad about your first encounter with your first Dr about your son; I wanted to cry tbh; I have seen many people with down syndrome and they r happily married and have normal regular jobs and live happy successful lives. I will also share this info with other doctors that I will meet in the future; I see your positivity and how radiant and kind u r....please keep being strong for all of us ☺ this world needs more people like you💖 may Allah bless u in this life and the next
I speak as a parent of an awesome kid with multiple disabilities. We, as parents have to provide our children all the love, care, support and strength they need to thrive. None of us are entitled to demand to be validated by anyone else. Nobody owes anybody platitudes or pleasantries. This world both beautiful and harsh, all of us in this life will encounter both angels and demons. Let's teach our kids not only kindness and respect, but also emotional intelligence and strength in who they are, so as not depend on opinions or words from people who don't matter. Don't make irrelevant people who didn't say something sweet to you relevant.
As a brother to two special needs siblings I agree with you whole heartedly
Beautiful soul :) We need more people like you!
Every Physician should be treated very positively with their patients cause it is one of the best way due to curing quickly.
Thank you Tamara. A lot of what you said was the story of my son William. The more that he teaches us, the more that we are able to change the conversations regarding his life. We are very lucky that the vast majority of the medical support that we have received has been tactful and positive, but I still cry when I remember the early days.
Beautiful encouragement and insight. This is my hope as well. Keep being be light! God bless!
This child is a walking saint. Too bad people don't want so many saints in our world. People with this extra small bit are some of the most beautiful people who walk this world. I feel honoured when ever I am in their company.
I like you and your son and I wish you a happy life
I applaud you, Tamara! Your family is beautiful and perfect!
Tamara, great talk. What an inspiring and strong talk you have given. Thank you.
Tamara I cried for the experience of torture you had to go through on that first conversation really you should not have just been given negative thoughts from that doctor I'm glad you were strong enough to turn that first conversation into positivity your family looks so happy!! And you are happy Thankyou for sharing your story with us and your right just so right some doctors do not have the right attitude towards people by scaring them half to death with negative words and their manner disgust me! Love to you and your beautiful family ❤️
Thank you for sharing, Tamara. You have a beautiful family in so many ways.
you presented this beautifully! My older brother has epilepsy and there isn't a single thing in the world that makes him any more different than my middle brother and I. In fact, he is probably a lot more smarter and well mannered than both of us. This speech is definitely an eye-opener to those that think that people with special needs children are weird and not "normal" because they're actually really special! and I think that it is about time we give them the love and encouragement they need and deserve!
Wow your son is definitely beautiful he will live a beautiful life sometimes people are completely clueless but let's minimize them and they will just have to catch up when they get a clue until then embrace your gift from God your beautiful baby boy
Thank Tamara for an excellent talk, I agree with ever word you have said. WELL DONE
Totally agree. There many situations (not only medical) in which a more possitive attitude would be very helpful.
Beautiful story, we have a neighbor with Down Syndrome and he has made all of our lives better
Hey T, thank you for sharing your story and I could not less agree with you, I have a 20 year old child who was diagnosed with learning disability and oh yes we were told all, how she will not be able to stand on her own but as you say no body who told us she was a blessing to the family and that there were opportunities out there. Thank God as I write the same girl who I was told she will never mount to anything she is so brave, very dedicated and already doing job training when all girls in her age are still studying not even sure if they will have jobs. All I can say to all the parents out there who have children with challenges do not listen to all the negative voices, the child you have he/she is a blessing, and if you find out their talent nature the talent.Thanks Thandi in South Africa
My little brother has Down Syndrome. Because of it, I have a special love and understanding of Down Syndrome persons and LOVE Down Syndrome children/adults. My little brother is now 50 years old and has always been the most loving, caring, compassionate person I have ever known. I just want to hug all those with Down Syndrome and tell them they are loved and very special. I believe God sent them to us to teach us to have that same outlook on life. They are real people just like any other person and should all be treated with love, understanding and respect. God says: Treat others as you would like to be treated.
It is all about perspective and that alone can chane your whole life
This was awesome!! Thank you.
Wonderful speaker, watched this several times...there are more Tamara Taggart videos on RUclips
I hate it when medical professionals make negative comments. I have friends who have autism that are told that they will not find a good job, go to school, or lead a happy life. These are the same people that are scoring perfect on every single test to date and are the most popular people in my school. They are also the happiest people I have ever seen. Medical professionals need to keep their doomsday Bull**** comments to themselves, commentary does not help anyone.
way to go Tamara! you said it perfectly!
Just loved each and every word you said. Very nicely put..Bless your family.
I am not challenged but I belong to two different minorities, which is not abnormal, but still I am selfcounscious about it. So whenever somebody treat me good OR bad (because of it I guess), I am feeling even more selfconscious about my differences, it's like you can never win, sigh...
yes, my mom had a worse speech from the first doc i had. he said i would be a vegetable and die by age 3 so i should be put into an institution and my parents should have another baby. i hate how docs condemn the different babies. we still have feelings and potential. we aren't throw aways.
u really touched my heart,I have a son wz autism and I love him so much , I don't pay any attention to any body how thinks that my boy is abnormal , I always searching for wide minded teachers, doctors, families to react with . the most important thing for me is to never give up on improving my son attitude , and he's improving by the grace of Allah.
Allah Kareem
No problem dear. My dad has bipolar disorder the only thing you need is to love them.. Even Albert Einstein was once called abnormal.
can you teach me how to speak english well, u look very good!
Oh my god......
Great chat, all kids are special in their own ways
Thank you Tamara Taggart!
Science and potential...great words to make sense of alot in the world. Wow!
Not always thought, we have had the exact opposite. So no hope is lost. Our doctor took a day (well an hour or two) off his vacations to tell us, he had experienced in the past with other trisomie so he knew what to tell us. We were made aware when he had 3 months, so a lot of consultations followed that, and none(except one maybe) didn't say anything bad and/or tried to convince us to put him in adoption.. our son is 5 now, our big boy. Loved that talk tho!
We understand that medics have a high IQ, all we ask is a bit of EQ. Thank you for sharing.
very inspiring and wonderful tedtalk.Thank you.
Its true , majority of doctors lack emotions and empathy for patients, i had this experience manytimes too.
Damn I like it when she talks about that no one should be written off. She´s so right. And then I think about those machinist-medics, who are so insolent to their patients and give a damn about if the patients feel welcome and at home in the clinic. That´s at least how one can feel as a patient. They should be given a basic understanding of pedagogical principles and patient-friendly behaviour in their educational training.
Don’t kill the messenger, no one like to deliver bad news about anything. I can’t imagine it’s an easy thing to tell parents and I imagine they don’t always get the best reactions so I can understand if the delivery isn’t the best
why are doctors not trained to deal with people? My boyfriend just went through back surgery and i really felt like the doctor couldn't care less and almost like he was annoyed with my partner. Just an awful experience, he was in so much pain and then had to deal with this doctor.. thank goodness it is all over.
Doctors need to check themselves.
love the talk, love the topic, positive conversation, towards positive attitude.
I am 24 and have friedich ataxia, I was very upset being first diagnosed. It was very irritating being more weak every day. Then something very different happened in my life,I started to read Quran and everything changed, life was put in perspective and lt transformed me psychological and helped me being calm. I tell you this so that you guys know Islam is the best religion and Quran and prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) life is the best teacher
I am happy you are feeling better, but it's hard for me to get past the "Islam" part.. not when Islam followers believe they have the authority to kill people if they don't share the same beliefs as them.
U r amazing... God bless you
All my love and respect for you the both and your human believe and faith
Amazed. Wish you the best :)
Well,...we were told by clinical 'experts' : that our 92 year old mother had Alzheimer's. (Not so. What she had was mixed dementia.) We were further told: she would pretty much fade away after six months. (She did not. She was socially engaged, fed, kept safe, and often conversed with astonishing insight and warm humor). After being refused Medicaid - we rolled up our sleeves and cared for mom at home. 24/7, 365 for nearly three years, without a break. It was a game changer, for sure. Nothing, and I mean nothing will ever be the same for us. Mom died peacefully, in her sleep at home with us in the next room. The sounds of life going on around her. The dog and cat near, the music on. She was not shut away in an institution, group home, or care facility. She was not ignored, judged deficient, or shunted aside. Doctors, I am convinced, do NOT know everything. They have, in fact, a lot to learn about human possibility in general. Whether in the delivery room at the beginning of a life, 'opinion-ating' on the potential of an extra chromosome-d newborn. OR at life's far turn... with a ninety three year old woman, whose forgetfulness 'really seems to suggest' Alzheimer's.
Bravo!! Very inspiring.
If I could click "like" more than once, twice or three times, etc. I would. Awesome talk and it applies to all human beings who have been marginalized by society...
Inspirational speech . Well done xx
You are great!!!!! We all need to be more HUMAN.
Thank you soooooooooooooo much
For whom is interested, find and see this beautiful french film called "Le huitieme jour" ("The 8-th Day"), made in 1996, rewarded with an important trophy for the two protagonists, the famous Daniel Auteuil and Pascal Duquenne, a Belgium actor with the Down syndrome, who became famous after this film. Pascal lives alone and is also a swimming champion and a dance performer, and there are documentary made about his achievements. He is also included in Wikipaedia. So, a full, accomplished life is possible and already achieved!
The ad for the book has no link
If there is such a thing as "normal"
Even I liked this line! :)
Bless your heart
But of course !! No one is perfect !! Love.
this is what exactly what happened to us
Just answering another vid of yours, (with dietitian Abby Langer) The cabbage soup diet gave me 20 years of diabetes. I was completely healthy till then (highest combat officer quality mark in the Israeli army, passing the air force pilot training).
Very inspirative story
This was so intense... And then she said suuruhy.
SOUL with TONGUE SPEAKS everything and TONGUE without SOUL nothing
You know...i just found out adout half of the ted talk has title like
'....... change your life'
I felt a bit saddened by this talk. It seems she allows other peoples (perceived) feelings to really affect her negatively. She seems to believe that her ideas are the only right ideas about Cancer and Downs Syndrome and any contradiction to her feelings is an affront. It is easy to be offended and touchy about words and opinions that people use- it is much harder to tolerate and even accept that people all have completely different cultural experiences and ideas/ feelings about things. I can appreciate her feelings and even see how she would like the world to be... it looks lovely. Being a real life human however, we mis-speak, we forget ourselves and say things we haven't thought through... Shaming people for innocent mistakes can often be the very catalyst that makes them uncomfortable around special needs people. The word retarded has more than one meaning in the dictionary... It is not likely any person said that to her to be purposely rude.
You completely missed the point.
Well stated Traci,
I felt the exact same way after hearing her talk. Sorry the doctors didn't tell her the truth the way she, who evidently didn't know it at the time, she needs all information to be given to her. I even know now that when speaking to her, that all information needs to be positively stated and optimistically discussed. I didn't hear the doctors saying anything out of line (except the retarded sweater comment). I see Mom's an anchor for a TV station so of course shes going to take a stand against the evil doctors and the people of the world that always stereotype and prejudice the Down Syndrome Community or should I say "The extra Chromosome Community" every chance they get. Her son will be different than the rest of the overly chromosomed.....how dare they state otherwise. I hope my son doesn't hear about this extra chromosome because if he hears about it then he'll want an extra chromosome too. I couldn't knowingly give my child an extra chromosome........doe's that make me anti chromosome too now?'I think Mama Bear needs to relax. As of the talk her son was 7 so she's just getting warmed up to the extra chromosome lifestyle. I wish them the best.. .
*****
It is not bad to ask people be more aware of what they say and how they say it however, it is sometimes our own burden to accept that others are imperfect and that they are not as sensitive or experienced in certain subjects as we. I am asking her to use the compassion she requests to soften her own views. I did not miss any point. I stated my own point.
+Tracy Burnam I know this is an 'old' comment, but i felt the need to express my agreement with your point word by word. Your view feels balanced and constructive, for that i'm grateful.
Emotion is what made us human. Sje said what she felt. She isn't shaming or blaming someone. She is just trying to say that if the same true fact was firstly wrapped with kindness and hope, it would have been easier for her to get through this difficult times. Our words have the power to make or break relation with anyone bcoz it directly reaches our heart. And when the topic is subtle...I think it's always better to show some kindness. It never solves our problems but gives us strength to deal with in more positive manner
Great way of doing your talk by keeping your hands in the pockets!
I have to say that I know some people with downs and they have jobs and people talk to them and are nice to them all the time, I think she assumes a negative response from people to much and is maybe to easy to misunderstand, and why would you just go up to a person with downs just to say hello, when that's not what you would do normally, and that would be treating them like they are not normal. I have to say though, the people I know with downs do seem to be really cool people
AMEN!!!
Amazing talk. No one is normal in this world and no one should be written off. Special needs individual are special people who have challenges and we must talk to them positively for them to focus on their abilities instead of staring at their disabilities.
Raja Abubaker you can't blame someone for wanting to be normal
Who all are here from upes?
To remove a tumour to give a mother, wife and provider to children a longer time with there family is a good thing especially when removing pain and suffering that comes with cancer. But telling a new mother her child will suffer and fail pain and probably will die before the parents will isn't happy news and I think it was right that the doctors gave a talk of a clear no-nonsense realism of what's to come. I think looking at this through rose coloured glasses isn't productive nor helpful. It's common for medical professionals to give the news of impending pain suffering and the future likely hood of disease in a simple clear clinical way. I think the doctors did the right thing and a new mother looked upon a new child as a wonder but the doctors rightly looked upon this as a human being who will know much suffering and tried to instill this on the new parent.. I'm not crule just realistic.
But having people make assumptions on what your child will and won't do in life.Saying they will never graduate school, have a job, get married.Will be a drop out.Will be an addict. Will be a failure. Telling you that you are a failure as a parent. That what you created is going to be a nothing,nuance an inconvenience to you and everyone else is so much better ??? Being that child that everyone always talked about you get to see the negative aspects of what doctors ,teachers ,employers and compleat strangers somehow think they have the right to tell your parents and you.You know what I am non of those I set out everyday to prove every one who said I can't wrong. That I am able. I am smart and bright. I am just like everyone else. I can do any thing I want in life just like every one else. I can be my own person that I am not a disability! I may have one but I am not one. My parents and every other parent of a special needs or challenged child has shown the true testament of what it
means to be a parent. To believe in use when not very many do . To teach use and to let us teach you to always be there for us and those are just to name a few
I had a person I worked alongside with Downs Syndrome who lived to the age of 80 seriously stats are not fact and are not allowing for people's resilience and an atmosphere of love which produces determination.Keep your "reality"it is not mine
I don't agree with anything you just said. Why shouldn't emotional intelligence be deemed less important when talking about mental health as opposed to physical health? Why is talking about positive experiences and ideas seen as less "realistic" than talking about negative ones? Why should doctors be expected or encouraged to talk about anything in a clinical tone without any sense of human or emotional intelligence, when research studies show a correlation between a doctor's warmth of personality and how highly their patients view them?
He is a cutie pie!!!
Treatment of cancer is a huge, profitable business- so of course there will be more professionalism found there. It's pretty much that simple.
So she basically upset about how people talk about her son?
I understand her perspective, but in my book you cant control what other people say, all you can do is how to turn those negativity into strength and change it into positivity.
Even though 95 percent of doctors are good ppl only bother to talk about the rest 5....In pregnancy we do a anomaly scan at 20 weeks and we give a counselling to parents who have downs child....but those conversations are very much essential and not to be taken as harsh....ppl forget the proverb "prevention is better than cure"....
Agree with her
Medics do tend to treat their patients as some sort of objects that need some mechanical intervention. They do tend to lack EQ and emphatic attitude. However, the big question in line with this talk is:
If one has the early knowledge that the baby will have serious mental challenges, is it ethical to give birth of a human who will not be able to live to the full potential of human mind ? A life of existence, but not really living. Is that ethical or not ?
mindvolution good question I was born at least 27 weeks and my disblity still haunts me 24 years later
mindvolution but what do you do with disability or those that can't improve themselves kill them yes it is sad that those with disblties or other mentally ill people can't have a normal life or ignorantly happy life like you free of health issies but what do you propose we do kill them or people like me yes at times I wish i was one of the lucky few who defined expectations for premature babies and ended up disability free. But I did not and all the others like me did not either should I die because I can't get a piece of paper with my name written on it by some University and gian wealth be socially or economically free no
I don`t mean physical disabilities, but severe mental disabilities. And, my entry is not an opinion, but a question. That is all. Regards!
Amazing, strong lady
You've been very gallant. It should go without saying that having a child with down syndrome is a challenge. I find the whole argument of this talk a bit puzzling.
Your objective is to have medical practitioners phrase things in a pleasing and hopeful fashion. If you have an aggressive tumor and your doctor paints you a picture of hope and wonder, you would be right to be upset after the fact if the treatment didn't succeed. It is perfectly fine for a doctor to describe the challenges of being a parent to a child with any form of setback. The reason that I say this is, just because you have handled it with such grace and compassion, a lot of parents aren't as intellectually or emotionally equipped for this type of news and they need to be made aware of what they are taking on. It is a lot of responsibility.
Agree, whole heartedly.
+Ben Smith I think you're underestimating the power of positivity. Just look up studies on the affect of positive attitudes on healing. Stress, anxiety, and negativity are all known to be catalysts of disease and unease.
There is a way to talk about the challenges that someone will face without implying that those challenges are insurmountable; "you will never _" or "I'm sorry that _" isn't it. And I agree with the other commenter who pointed out that research studies have demonstrated that when people experiencing a challenge such as a medical diagnosis or an exam or the end of an interpersonal relationship are taught to view it in a positive way, their performance and endurance improves. I'm reminded of another TED talk-social psychologist Kelly McGonigal's "How to make stress your friend"-where she discusses how and why people who are taught to view negative emotions such as the stress response as their body preparing itself to meet a challenge, they live longer lives and report fewer health problems. In short, don't write off or underestimate optimism, hope or other forms of positivity.
She is not someone with whom I would click - I find her not so likable - she wants to teach doctors how to talk but the doctor who called her was sorry - he was empathetic - what do you want him to do? Congratulate you and ask you to celebrate? What a delusional stern woman she is!? She is taking her frustration on the world of medicine- she does make some good points about communicating with people who have various illnesses because it is a lonely world for them - final comment: she needs to take her hands out of her pockets and smile a little more especially that she is trying to say positive things about her son!!
If I were a doctor, that's honestly what I'd do. You can talk about disabilities and mental health issues without treating them as if they are insurmountable challenges; saying "I'm so sorry" and "I don't think you'll ever _" isn't how you do that.
nice
💎THAT'S SO TRUE & VERY INNSPIRERING MESSAGE!💎
ALL OF US BRINGS💎💜💎💎💎 SOMETHING SPECIAL IN THE LIVES OF OTHERS & IT CAN COME IN 💎💜💎💎🖤💎💜🖤💎💜💎💜🖤🖤ANY WAY OR ANY FORM!!!