Why didn't minimizing make me feel good?
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- Опубликовано: 9 фев 2025
- Joshua and Ryan discuss addressing the complexity of our emotions tied up in our possessions. Listen to the full episode on Patreon: / theminimalists
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After I decluttered I actually felt a wee bit empty and bored. My things had taken up so much of my time and energy that when they were gone I had to take a look around and ask myself 'okay, what now?' It wasnt that decluttering made me feel bad, it just left a gap that needed to be filled by the things I value - which took a little bit of time to identify.
🙏 Mine is the opposite! I lost my son 3 years ago from epilepsy (sudep) I don’t do well on sympathy or why me etc and through out this finding minimalism has in part been my therapy!!
Really😒 is what the normal response off people, family and friends!
Im just at the beginning but still removed so much from my home , I’m still surrounded with too much clutter. but I found that I have no regrets on anything that I have “got rid of”
My arms held him and that’s all I need to remember him by’ not a pair of old smelly trainers lol !
I’ve been asked how I get rid of things so easily. My answer is I don’t. I don’t get rid of things, I keep things. That’s why it looks easy because it is easy. When I start feeling cluttered it’s easy for me to lay out a drawer full of stuff and say “love, love, love, use, use, use and a big DISCARD to the rest. If I have to pick out what to get rid of I have to think, it takes longer, and it doesn’t feel great. What I love doesn’t end up being that much stuff. And now I think about how awkward loving stuff is so I have some strict criteria an item has to have for me to love it. I have also reconciled that I can really enjoy something for a season then pass it on.
Oh my goodness, what a great method - and you explained it so well. I struggle with letting go of things, but when I do manage to do it, I rarely miss the items I've passed on. Thanks for the inspiration, I'll try picking out what I use and love and just pack up the rest 😊.
I resonate with all of this - and I find the last sentence SO important for long term living with less clutter. It’s okay to purchase and enjoy something for a temporary amount of time. And then, it’s just fine to give it away to someone who finds value in it when I don’t anymore. No keeping something just because money had been spent on it. It’s okay to “rent” it from the universe and move it along when it no longer serves a purpose.
The “enjoying things for a season” really struck a chord for me. Thank you for sharing, I’m going to hold onto that one 😌
Love this thread, thank you😊🌷
such a clever way to look at it! I'm trying this next x
The “why” is so important for the motivation toward any goal. Writing is down and reading it daily is so powerful.
Personally I am usually happy when I get rid of stuff. I see it as making room for the changes in my life.
I've moved so many times,and I'm always hauling bins of miscellaneous stuff. Things I've kept because I've owned it for a long time. Or maybe it was a gift, but not from someone I even like anymore. All the, "maybe I'll find a use for it" crap.
Holding on to things because I've been dirt poor and homeless in the past. But the things aren't serving a purpose other than to remind me that it could happen again.
I don't want to own things that stay packed in totes in the closet and go unseen or thought about.
It's also a lot harder to lose things when you own less.
It's late and I'm rambling.
I lost everything I owned in a house fire. Left with my bicycle shorts, shies and a t-shirt. Not even socks!
After that experience I have never been overly attached to objects.
Such a GREAT POINT! Getting rid of stuff doesn't make you feel good. It just gives you more space.
I own very little. I can take books out of the library. I do like my plants. Every week, I fill a box for Goodwill. I donate to charity. We patronize local restaurants.
My older grandson is a runner and we saw him race this weekend. Tina
So much wisdom in less than 5 minutes
Yeah holy shit
Letting go of your expectations can be so freeing. Sounds negative, but you will have more happy surprises and less disappointment. It can apply to many things in life!
Freedom and happiness is also a choice. You can choose to be happy by making good choices that make you grow as a person. Such as minimalistic ideas won’t make you happy. The freedom you gain can give you room to accept happiness. Less distractions gives you more room for growth.
A really interesting video... I’m in the middle of decluttering and am finding it very tiring! My mind is beginning to trick me that I’ve done enough! But I know I need to keep going.. I’m letting go of things that I never thought I would - like old books and sentimental items. Watching your videos, and others like this, is really encouraging me to keep going, and achieve something I have always dreamed of - a clutter free life! I live in the UK - thank you for your inspiration :)
Such good points... over the last 10 years I gave up alcohol, and meat, detoxed my friends, decluttered stuff, reduced my debt dramatically, ate healthier to "feel better", but it was/is my attitude towards my life, and other people which make me happy, like me, I am the one who has to chose to be content along side of all of life's messes. I am now practicing letting go of the emotional hording I do :)
The expectations matter so much
If you don’t feel good about yourself, you won’t feel good about anything you do.
JUST UNLOADED..got rid of so much this time!! I realized as I sorted thru stuff.. I recalled memories of ideas that didnt come to fruition.. I had many things I hadnt used for quite some time.. and felt sad for a time that that time was over... thank you for sharing the reality.. I'm envisioning my new place with freedom and simplicity.. and a fresh start.. THANK YOU I needed to get that boost of energy during my "process of letting go!!
This reminds me of
Psalm 107:9 “For he satisfies the thirsty
and FILLS the hungry with good things.” Material items can't fill our hearts - it's a God thing.
I have at times didn’t feel happy when certain things and people were gone from my life, even though they were liberating. Had been comfortably uncomfortable. Just didn’t know what to do with the freedom. Realized these were teachable moments that I needed at those times lose. Has helped. Thank you so much for sharing this!
I have been decluttering and it always makes me feel good less to deal with great listening needed this today
I found letting go of the old stuff, was such a release and now I attract new things and experiences in my life and new people. I agree going through pain and loss is very difficult it's emotional. The new is so much better and I also like peace and quiet.
Excellent talk, guys!
Unload without expectations.
And take time afterward, to allow yourself to absorb how you feel about it all. There is most certainly an evolution that takes place in one's psyche over a period of time.
I think the Maslow's "hierarchy of needs" theory helps explains a bit of what happens. Took me the longest time to find out about this, I thought I was broken somehow. After you solve a "problem" in your life or suffice one particular "need", you climb up to a higher level, and then new "needs" appear. That would help explain why we are never fully satisfied.
In Nar Anon (mother of a Recovering Addict) we are told to have NO expectations. By having expectations on others and things is not fair to that person. It's not our job to set expectations. It's a really good way to think.
You guys are so nourishing 😊 thank you 🌷
You can't use external solutions to fix internal problems. Happiness is an inside job.
Sometimes this sounds like a typical cooking show
Joshua: *says somthing smart*
Ryan: mmmmmmmhhhh
P.S.: I love your stuff!
Getting rid of sentimental stuff felt a lot like therapy. Resetting a bone that healed wrong. We have to reframe our thoughts. For me it was: things are not people and things do not make me happy. All we have are true memories in our mind. There is a reason we forget memories. Even our mind declutters through the years!
Loved this video Joshua and Ryan! Timely video. Enjoyed every bit of it.
PS: This is a 16 year old subscriber of yours:)
Do not forget, that there are serious issues like depression or anxiety. Minimalism alone can't cure it all. Nevertheless letting go is a good start maybe.
Love the gym analogy! Makes absolute sense!!!
I love starting my day with you guys 🙂
You dont choose minimalism as the key to make you happy. Happiness is a side effect of your reason why you choose minimalism. Thats why minimalism is personal. For me minimalism is something you do to resolve some of your personal issues in life. You dont chose this to be happy. You chose this because you realize how material things burdens you.
I just think that you reach a point when the noice is killing you and you WANT to get rid of things you don’t use. To me that made me happy because I felt like I couldn’t breath and then when I got rid of stuff I felt that freedom. If you don’t want to let go don’t let go. It’s not a magic spell. I think it’s like if you ”should” stop smoking. You won’t be able to until YOU want to. That WHY starts to appear and then you have a goal for that reason. Just like the idea of wealth and material things can become a fantasy of happiness the minimalism way of living can become that too. It’s not something you achieve and then you’re happy. There’s much more to it then that.
Many of the comments here seem to go deeper than what Brenda said. Brenda expressed surprise that it didn't feel good. She never mentioned happiness. For me, those are two different things. I can be happy while at the same time I can find certain tasks don't feel good. I can be unhappy overall, yet enjoy certain tasks.
Becoming a minimalist and minimising my stuff helped me with my anxiety and depression but didn't cure it. It's a tool, not a solution.
I believe happiness comes naturally when you have meaning and purpose in your life. When I look at the heavens, the stars, "the earth and its fullness" --- the beauty and mind-blowing complexity of all things --- I am forced to accept the existence of God. I simply can't believe all of this "just happened" by itself. And since there is a God who created me, my life has meaning and purpose. I would not call myself a minimalist, but I like getting rid of things which have no value or usefulness to me because it brings order and peace, calm and quiet, and more time and more space for what really matters. But if you don't yet know what really matters and you get rid of all your stuff, perhaps all you will have achieved is being able to see the emptiness more clearly.
Death of a Dream is a Goal achieved.
I've found that now I'm past the discomfort, it feels good to let go. But perhaps it has become addictive. Is that a good thing? I'm not sure.
I think the Maslow's "hierarchy of needs" theory helps explains a bit of what happens. Took me the longest time to find out about this, I thought I was broken somehow. After you solve a "problem" in your life or suffice one particular "need", you climb up to a higher level, and then new "needs" appear. That would help explain why we are never fully satisfied.
@@FeelingShred Yep that makes sense. Human nature to never be satisfied.
@@FeelingShred Do we look for problem/challenges to solve when we are out of problems & challenges?
Do we always look for something to fill our mind and time? Can I human tolerate 'nothing to do'?
guys you just changed my life, saying hi from Brazil. You are amazing!!!
Let’s not forget freedom from people!
So good!
Getting rid of stuff lifts a weight off you have less stuff calling at you for attention. Happiness comes from developing yourself internally. You can certainly be happier owning less stuff, but becoming minimalist is not going to magically sort the problems. I know I still have a long way to go with self development. But by paring back my belongings I do get a sense of more breathing space in which to do so. The general to-do list is shorter, giving me more time to work on myself.
helpful explanation. thank you guyz
Thanks
Some people are just too attached to their things, to their house, to a job, to a neighborhood, whatever it is. This thing won't work for everyone LOL Clingy people, yikes, you definitely know someone that is like that, right? These people can never let go man xDDD
This is great
buying stuff is not the problem is getting in debt to buy stuff is the problem .
شكرا
💕💕💕💕
No... there is great pleasure & triumph in getting rid of stuff... maybe you just don't like mind...
thank yku liked the video, i’m wondering by chance are you two vegan? be well