@@Spahi77 Are you kidding me?! Brother in law steals hundreds of thousands of dollars from the business and you don't even bring it up? If that isn't a push over, I don't know what is.
Guess I'm different. I would have had words with the guy and it wouldn't have been pretty. That's a criminal act and I don't care if they're family or not. His sister married the wrong guy.
Not expressing your anger leads to resentment and it eats away at you, not the people who did you wrong. His bro in law has no problem sleeping at night.
The caller already lost his sister and brother in law as family when they decided to steal hundreds of thousands of dollars. I'd take them to court because he can at least get some of the money back. If he forgives and forgets, all they learned was he is a push over who won't fight back.
Don't automatically lump the sister in with her husband. She may have had no idea- STILL may have no idea (hubby might not have told her & her brother hasn't said anything!). We don't know anything about their relationship. He may lie to her as much as he lied to this caller.
If it's your money, LOOK AT THE BOOKS, never be ignorant to the numbers when your money is involved. Read the statements, be involved in the accounting.
I agree. How in the world can a partner be so uninvolved (in. Clueless) that they are unaware that several hundred thousand dollars has been missing over the course of a couple years? This makes no sense to me.
At least this way, he will regain some measure of self-respect. He may not have noticed the theft while it was taking place, but he can at least handle it correctly once he has been made aware of it. The fact that it was done by a brother-in-law didn't matter to the brother-in-law while he was committing the crime, so it shouldn't matter to the brother-in-law while he is paying the figurative and literal price.
He’s got to confront his sister and brother-in-law and demand they return the money, or at least a good portion of it. If they are not confronted by this guy (or through his attorney), then he’s emboldened them to repeat this behavior in another business. They got away with stealing from him, so what’s going to stop them from doing it again?
If he reclaims the losses it won't end well.. if he says nothing it won't end well. All he can do is get this off his chest and keep them OUT of his life. This relationship is beyond repair.
He avoided looking at the books, checking their tax filings and that's the responsibility of all owners/partners in a business. Then he avoided confronting and resolve the issue with his sister and brother in law. He needs to change his own negative habits to avoid making the same mistakes.
Gonna take a while to forgive but I think this guy is just more mad at himself than anything. He's playing the could have should have game with himself and that just deteriorates you. Even though it was a shitload of money all he has to do is ask to get paid and have it in his mind that if he doesn't get one penny that he will be comfortable with that. It's time to create a new life and let go of the bitter one. How long can you be kicking yourself is the real question and how long will it take for you to be at the financial place you want be? Make those goals. Best of luck to that guy
I think we've all had something happen to us, and we did nothing. Those are the times that hurt the most - inaction. But I have to say I would struggle to forgive here. My only step forward would be confrontation, and seek compensation. If the answer is attitude and denial - then I would seek legal counsel and separate for all time.
Think most obvious thing is he can't forgive himself. Is his sister and brother in law living in a nice house, driving nice cars and going on vacations while you are struggling, unless they gambled it or were into drugs, how do you not notice that someone you are partners with who should be making same as you is living a higher lifestyle sounds like there might be more to the story. I think making a detailed record of exact what happened and how much they (I can't imagine the sister not knowing) stole, then simply passing it out to everyone in the family would be a nice start. You just let everyone know this is part of the therapy you have been prescribed and you just want everyone to know if it seems like you act differently towards your sister these days this is why and yo continue to work on forgiving them...the end
The hardest person to forgive is yourself. People just aren't wired that way. We always seem to think we "should have" known, done, checked, etc., even though we may have no past experience to let us know what is happening. We are not omnipotent.
Assuming we're hearing the whole story, I actually *wouldn't* forgive them for this. Why do they need forgiveness? They're not in prison after committing a crime; that's grace enough. Heck, did the crooked in-laws ever even apologize or acknowledge the wrong?
Family and business transactions don’t mix. I’ve gotten burned on almost every one. The trouble is that legal action isn’t easy with family because other relational dynamics have to be considered. If that much can go missing without him noticing, I don’t feel too sorry for him. Just an expensive lesson.
this was an expensive lesson...life is full of lessons. You need to release this anger because it will only harm you (phyisicaly and mentally). Many illnesses are caused by anger and resentment. Think about that and about the fact that they are not affected by this anger (since no one is after them)...only u are!
You should press charges against them unless they agree to pay it all back right away. The only way you can forgive them is if justice has been done, other wise you will be angry with yourself and them. How can you forgive them if they have not made amends?
Family can be the greatest blessing - and sometimes the worst curse. Tough situation to be in. I'm not sure I could forgive and forget several hundred thousand dollars of embezzlement.
Never .,.I wouldn't even acknowledge him...I would let every member of the family know what happened and what he did ...you don't owe him anything...you don't need to apologize...he is dead ...he needs to stew on what he did and now he should fix it..be a better person ..head high and proud
I can relate, although my sibling never got me into financial loss they did lose my trust. I'll be honest if they went that far and knew what they were doing was wrong then "forgiveness" has to be earned. First step would be to face consequences which means pursue legal actions against them. The family will never be the same regardless of whether or not you sue them so why not do the selfish thing since clearly they were being selfish.
The best way he will be able to forgive is to actually confront and expose (punish). If Paul wants to be peaceful, he needs to confront his sister and brother-in-law in such a way that he did on the show.
I wish they had told him to forgive the guy (and forgive yourself), but get a lawyer to see if he can get anything back. It's not right to let him get away with it! You were "family" too when he stole from you, and he didn't care.
My forgiveness stops at $500... You will know what you did, and you will fix it or you will be taken to court. And I can say that so nicely it feels like sugar being poured on your tongue... but you will learn and become completely aware that when it comes to me and my family's financial future you will not leave us holding all the debt. And whoever wags a finger might come up with a digit missing. right is right and wrong is wrong... and I would not lose any sleep from standing my ground
apparently, losing that amount of $$, he has been able to overcome the financial hurt (or it sounds that way). I'm not sure forgiveness can be given without an "I'm sorry" on the part of the guilty one. However, facing the issue square in the mirror and saying, "I'm letting it go" can be cathartic for him...if he can get to that point. Family gatherings can be tolerated...as he reminds himself he has "let it go", but never engaging in co-work with this brother-in-law or sister. If nothing was said, perhaps the sister doesn't even know. And if this man has decided not to make a "deal" of it, releasing it is the only way to go forward. He may never been completely "walls down" with the ex-partner, but tolerance in family gatherings can be attained. And for his part? Feeling the loss, the guilt of having not paid attention to whether the other guy was doing his job well or not? That's just a version of "life college"... accept the mistake and move forward. Not easy, but doable.
One thing he could do is report the income diverted to the IRS and at least get some satisfaction that way!! Sister and Paul will get hammered. I wouldn’t spend holidays with those criminals.
I disagree. He needs to forgive himself, but he needs to let his family know what happened. Who knows if his wife knows what a crook he is or if she’s one too. Who knows if he’s going to try to get money out of other family members or make a business with them. Paul would have that on his conscious as well. No way! Get it out in the open.
@@stevenporter863 Letting someone steal hundreds of thousands of dollars from his company and not pressing charges against them is what makes him a pushover, not his being soft spoken.
This guy sounds like a bit of a pushover. He seriously needs to take this guy to court, family or not
He is not a pushover at all....understands it all went bust, and was used. Not an easy pill to swallow.
Just because he is soft spoken doesn't mean he is a pushover, but he needs to lawyer up.
Needed to happen the next day. Don’t know if it’s been too long? Yikes
@@Spahi77 Are you kidding me?! Brother in law steals hundreds of thousands of dollars from the business and you don't even bring it up? If that isn't a push over, I don't know what is.
Its more complicated than that. If he go after his brother in law then he probably risks his relationship with his sister
That's why you don't do business with family, even worst if they are in-laws
Amen on that
My in-laws are evil - and I had to walk on fire to prevent my spouse from doing business with them
NEVER do business with family
Exactly!
Guess I'm different. I would have had words with the guy and it wouldn't have been pretty. That's a criminal act and I don't care if they're family or not. His sister married the wrong guy.
Not expressing your anger leads to resentment and it eats away at you, not the people who did you wrong. His bro in law has no problem sleeping at night.
The caller already lost his sister and brother in law as family when they decided to steal hundreds of thousands of dollars.
I'd take them to court because he can at least get some of the money back. If he forgives and forgets, all they learned was he is a push over who won't fight back.
My thoughts exactly!
Family will mess you over more than anybody else.
Not my family...But sadly, this is true for many people.
Regardless if it's family, he should have gotten his money back. The brother in law and sister didn't care when they took it.
The courts are useless.....joint venture, will take way more money to fight, cards stacked against him....ask me how I know
Don't automatically lump the sister in with her husband. She may have had no idea- STILL may have no idea (hubby might not have told her & her brother hasn't said anything!). We don't know anything about their relationship. He may lie to her as much as he lied to this caller.
@@Spahi77 I want to hear your story, Spahi77
@@nikan7704 highly unlikely she wouldnt have noticed with all the new expensive stuff they would have been getting
Dave spoke over him when he was saying he lost closer to $1 million dollars. I'm certain the sister knew.
During my MBA from a top 20 business school the Business Law Prof. said the best type of partnership is "None".
Never easy to do business with family - it takes a great deal of communication
Forgive? They didn't ask for forgiveness. You basically let them walk all over you.
If it's your money, LOOK AT THE BOOKS, never be ignorant to the numbers when your money is involved. Read the statements, be involved in the accounting.
I agree. How in the world can a partner be so uninvolved (in. Clueless) that they are unaware that several hundred thousand dollars has been missing over the course of a couple years? This makes no sense to me.
The caller OWNED himself.
Forgive him when he is in prison for his crimes and you have sued him into bankruptcy. If your wife takes his side, tell her to move in with him.
It's his sister and brother in law
i understood
Take him to court and get your money back.
Yep..he's not blood.
Money is probably spent. He's not getting much back I am afraid
At least this way, he will regain some measure of self-respect. He may not have noticed the theft while it was taking place, but he can at least handle it correctly once he has been made aware of it. The fact that it was done by a brother-in-law didn't matter to the brother-in-law while he was committing the crime, so it shouldn't matter to the brother-in-law while he is paying the figurative and literal price.
It's not an easy journey, to get to a place where you forgive people. But it is such a powerful place, because it frees you.
It’s happens when family is involved. You want to trust family but probably shouldn’t.
Never do business with Friends and family.
He’s got to confront his sister and brother-in-law and demand they return the money, or at least a good portion of it. If they are not confronted by this guy (or through his attorney), then he’s emboldened them to repeat this behavior in another business. They got away with stealing from him, so what’s going to stop them from doing it again?
And family is a no go when it comes to business
If he reclaims the losses it won't end well.. if he says nothing it won't end well. All he can do is get this off his chest and keep them OUT of his life. This relationship is beyond repair.
He avoided looking at the books, checking their tax filings and that's the responsibility of all owners/partners in a business. Then he avoided confronting and resolve the issue with his sister and brother in law. He needs to change his own negative habits to avoid making the same mistakes.
Gonna take a while to forgive but I think this guy is just more mad at himself than anything. He's playing the could have should have game with himself and that just deteriorates you. Even though it was a shitload of money all he has to do is ask to get paid and have it in his mind that if he doesn't get one penny that he will be comfortable with that. It's time to create a new life and let go of the bitter one. How long can you be kicking yourself is the real question and how long will it take for you to be at the financial place you want be? Make those goals. Best of luck to that guy
This guy is a doormat. He can forgive him after the lawsuit.
I feel terrible for him.
Dave "I did not kill that banker" Ramsey
Three sides to a story, he did not do his job, you do not lose millions without seeing the signs.
I think we've all had something happen to us, and we did nothing. Those are the times that hurt the most - inaction.
But I have to say I would struggle to forgive here. My only step forward would be confrontation, and seek compensation. If the answer is attitude and denial - then I would seek legal counsel and separate for all time.
Yes, agreed!
He needs to take this guy to court. This guy will just do this again.
How do you not immediately bring that up? He’s taking money directly out of your pocket
I think because he (caller) feels responsible for not paying enough attention to the books when they were partners
Think most obvious thing is he can't forgive himself. Is his sister and brother in law living in a nice house, driving nice cars and going on vacations while you are struggling, unless they gambled it or were into drugs, how do you not notice that someone you are partners with who should be making same as you is living a higher lifestyle sounds like there might be more to the story. I think making a detailed record of exact what happened and how much they (I can't imagine the sister not knowing) stole, then simply passing it out to everyone in the family would be a nice start. You just let everyone know this is part of the therapy you have been prescribed and you just want everyone to know if it seems like you act differently towards your sister these days this is why and yo continue to work on forgiving them...the end
The hardest person to forgive is yourself. People just aren't wired that way. We always seem to think we "should have" known, done, checked, etc., even though we may have no past experience to let us know what is happening. We are not omnipotent.
Assuming we're hearing the whole story, I actually *wouldn't* forgive them for this. Why do they need forgiveness? They're not in prison after committing a crime; that's grace enough. Heck, did the crooked in-laws ever even apologize or acknowledge the wrong?
Good call, applies to many.
Forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do.
Family and business transactions don’t mix. I’ve gotten burned on almost every one. The trouble is that legal action isn’t easy with family because other relational dynamics have to be considered. If that much can go missing without him noticing, I don’t feel too sorry for him. Just an expensive lesson.
He is a good man. Walking away.
what happened to him is horrible, but i would never have let it happen without seeking justice. stand up for what is right.
This man is TOO nice
Don’t do business with family, unless it’s a family business that functions.
Everyone learns to not lend money the hard way.
this was an expensive lesson...life is full of lessons. You need to release this anger because it will only harm you (phyisicaly and mentally). Many illnesses are caused by anger and resentment. Think about that and about the fact that they are not affected by this anger (since no one is after them)...only u are!
You should press charges against them unless they agree to pay it all back right away. The only way you can forgive them is if justice has been done, other wise you will be angry with yourself and them. How can you forgive them if they have not made amends?
Sounds like a job for Tony Soprano.
I thought the same thing. Or Real Housewives of Jersey 🤣
What is the background music playing at the end? I luv it!
These mom and pop new business owners NEVER seem to think their books are important. That's why so many of them get into debt and ultimately fail.
This guy needs to take a stand and be empowered and stand up to the brother in law and proceed with legal action.
But how ? The same exact thing happened to me.
Nice guy gets what nice guy gets
Family can be the greatest blessing - and sometimes the worst curse. Tough situation to be in. I'm not sure I could forgive and forget several hundred thousand dollars of embezzlement.
True dat. I thought he was gonna say “thousands” not “hundreds of thousands “. Ouch 😣
Never .,.I wouldn't even acknowledge him...I would let every member of the family know what happened and what he did ...you don't owe him anything...you don't need to apologize...he is dead ...he needs to stew on what he did and now he should fix it..be a better person ..head high and proud
I can relate, although my sibling never got me into financial loss they did lose my trust. I'll be honest if they went that far and knew what they were doing was wrong then "forgiveness" has to be earned. First step would be to face consequences which means pursue legal actions against them. The family will never be the same regardless of whether or not you sue them so why not do the selfish thing since clearly they were being selfish.
Caller: it’s my sister and brother in law
Dave: So it was your brother in law
Yeah that was odd huh 🤔
The best way he will be able to forgive is to actually confront and expose (punish).
If Paul wants to be peaceful, he needs to confront his sister and brother-in-law in such a way that he did on the show.
"Nice" people wonder why so many bad things happen to them. It's because they can walked all over with no consequences.
Ha I am not surprised that they are family those are the ones you sometimes must love from a distance or Avoid all together ♥️😳
Family and Friends are the first ones to do shady stuff
@@noregertsyamsayin8011 Exactly
I’m sure the sister was along with the whole thing . Let’s not let her off the hook
Sis might have just seen her husband bringing home tons of money from what she thought was a successful business.
NEVER run a business as a partnership. NEVER.
Once I had a three way partnership. Talk about a nightmare
there has to be more to this story
Don’t forgive him as he will take advantage of you again. Sue him.
You have to forgive for you. You cant forgive someone that has not asked to be forgiven.
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean what they did is right. It releases you from them.
I wish they had told him to forgive the guy (and forgive yourself), but get a lawyer to see if he can get anything back. It's not right to let him get away with it! You were "family" too when he stole from you, and he didn't care.
There would be severe consequences if that happened to me. Let this be a warning to all of us, so that we are careful in the deals we make.
The same thing happened to me. What should I do ?
Big advice never get a business with family or borrow money
That Fling fool!
You NEVER lend money to relatives. NEVER!!
I would NEVER forgive that. Pay me back and we can go from there,
I would SUE them for every penny or he will never have respect for HIMSELF.
You can tell Dave got triggered with this one.
Brother-in-law ripped him off for hundreds of thousands of dollars. Cut him off.
I'd walk away and keep walking.
This guy is over here ready to forgive like it’s nothing. I’d still be on the homicidal urges stage.
I'm surprise his sister is still married to this man. His brothers in law should repay him all the 🤑 he stole plus interest.
This guy is a delinquent business owner. You don't know the taxes aren't done?! Dereliction or duty
Completely agree.
This guy is soft, I'd like to be his business partner too.
Oh that’s not just going away and the sister is on the line just as much as the BIL. Pay back your debt: Become a better human being sister.
My forgiveness stops at $500... You will know what you did, and you will fix it or you will be taken to court. And I can say that so nicely it feels like sugar being poured on your tongue... but you will learn and become completely aware that when it comes to me and my family's financial future you will not leave us holding all the debt. And whoever wags a finger might come up with a digit missing. right is right and wrong is wrong... and I would not lose any sleep from standing my ground
Dave: "He stole from me but he's dead now"
Me: 0_o....why is he dead Dave?
So 2.PHDs and one who actually went through life.. life beats PHD advice 😝
If you never said anything and allowed it.
This guy just wanted to hear himself on the radio! Lol
apparently, losing that amount of $$, he has been able to overcome the financial hurt (or it sounds that way). I'm not sure forgiveness can be given without an "I'm sorry" on the part of the guilty one. However, facing the issue square in the mirror and saying, "I'm letting it go" can be cathartic for him...if he can get to that point. Family gatherings can be tolerated...as he reminds himself he has "let it go", but never engaging in co-work with this brother-in-law or sister. If nothing was said, perhaps the sister doesn't even know. And if this man has decided not to make a "deal" of it, releasing it is the only way to go forward. He may never been completely "walls down" with the ex-partner, but tolerance in family gatherings can be attained. And for his part? Feeling the loss, the guilt of having not paid attention to whether the other guy was doing his job well or not? That's just a version of "life college"... accept the mistake and move forward. Not easy, but doable.
1:31 Dom Toretto? Is that you?
700k is a lot of money!
One thing he could do is report the income diverted to the IRS and at least get some satisfaction that way!! Sister and Paul will get hammered. I wouldn’t spend holidays with those criminals.
Your next move is determined by how your sister deals with it when you tell her..
Hmmmmm 😮
I disagree. He needs to forgive himself, but he needs to let his family know what happened. Who knows if his wife knows what a crook he is or if she’s one too. Who knows if he’s going to try to get money out of other family members or make a business with them. Paul would have that on his conscious as well. No way! Get it out in the open.
And yourself
Lock him up.
Ask Robert says: Mind your OWN business.
Is that you, Vin Diesel?
IT'S FAMILY
Sister on not, her hubby bout to sleep with the fishes.
She was in on it anyway.
This man really needs to find a spine, God love him.
Man I thought I was the only one that ever lived this type of treason
Same here. The comment section of this channel has shown me there are plenty of rats in other family's too
Physical violence works
They need to be punished, family or not. They will just do it to someone else.
You won't resent them if you make them pay what they took.
I sure wouldn't want such a pushover running any construction projects for me.
Just because he is soft spoken doesn't mean he is a pushover; but he needs to lawyer up family or no family since this is business.
@@stevenporter863 Letting someone steal hundreds of thousands of dollars from his company and not pressing charges against them is what makes him a pushover, not his being soft spoken.
Thanksgiving dinner must be very very awkward.
Oh never mind.
Did you just say, family?
It's family.......
it's been a long day, without you my friend....
Say goodbye to debt forever. Start Ramsey+ for free: bit.ly/3g11A2V