EDIT: 2/5/2021 - Thanks for 1,000,000 views & 2,000 subs. YT loves to reccomend this stupid video doesn't it? Looking back at this now I regret the Undertale music included but, whatever, I might remake this video when I get my PC restored to include every line and just optimize the video in general. Thanks for the feedback, and also I'd like to say sorry to anybody if I went all overly autistic fanboy on, being young and stupid happens (clearly). Oh that and the random Mettaton at the end. (I'm not even really into Undertale at this point, just MTT lmao.) Regardless, thanks everyone.
Eman Gamer Felt like I needed to considering the way I acted back when I first uploaded this. Besides that I'm gonna be making a video about everything wrong with this one fairly soon... in the most parody and semi/serious way possible.
Agreed, although as soon as I worked myself up to do it I would have probably did it exactly as Gordon did... wanting to get the process over with as quickly as possible.
@jou taama or just experience. one guy ate the mushroom like that and he died so the mushroom is dangerous. Hell the cow thing was propably just logic since we breastfeed our children too.
The alien grunt and the alien hand weapon had a consensual relationship build on years, they took it nice and slow, until they naturally felt like a part of each other body. Gordon just went and fisted the thing not even asking first.
Former choreographer for the mod here, can't remember if I worked on these scenes; the writer, Ben Truman, came up with a lot of fun scenes like this, and I think in an early version events were arranged so most players would see one of these - but level design tends to move things around (receive gun on elevator, etc) so I guess in the end, this ends up as an easter egg. There's tons of these scenes in Anomalous Materials that most players won't see, usually.
I wonder if this animation of equipping the hive hand is a reference to Adrian Shepherd being grossed out at having to do the same thing to the barnacle grapple in Shepherd's Mind.
i love how gordon never hesitates to even explode like a whole tank or some other stuff but with this thing he’s like: “eh, no, maybe?, nah, actually you know what? i’ll do it”
That was priceless xD I wouldn´t even think that they went that far! Not only how Gordon...armed...himself with the hive, but also Barney´s reactions xD
If you think that's bad just look at how stretched that thing gets on the alien's hand. I had no idea that the guard would react to that. Man Crowbar Collective knocked it out of the park with this remaster.
“Don’t take this the wrong way buddy but you’re the best thing I’ve seen all day” Gordon with his emotionless face: *Inserts his fist into a creature which is squealing loudly
Well, I just "finished" Black Mesa and I have to say I'm impressed! The game is not only improved in terms of graphics, but the voice lines have been remade and this is really a new game consisting mostly of new textures with a few points pulled from HL2. Cheatland has full commands of Black Mesa
"I can't tell if you're a genius for figuring that out, or if you're perverted for thinking that's the way you do it!" No, I think Gordon is desperate for """""contact""""" considering the only humans he has been seeing recently are old men
*Been playing some mods on HL2 and watching vids, youtube recommended me this* Me: Black Mesa huh? Wonder what this one is all abo... *Gordon Fists Alien* ...well...I hope Alyx doesn’t Kink-shame him.
I think that the Hivehand isn't really making those noises when he first put in the hand because of 'pain' as we would know it. It's a different creature, it's not like if someone jammed their hand up your butt-hole or something. The Hivehand was probably just confused due to the shape of the hand entering its use-port. It had never been encountered for use by the children of men, the four fingers and poseable thumbs hooking into its mechanisms built for the Grunts. So the squirming and screaming and eventual freeze is the bioweapon redesigning its insides to fit the new model. But it doesn't really have a brain, it is just the external host of flesh for a hive of pissed off constantly regenerating War-hornets. Which is probably the only projectile reliable enough to navigate the combs and weaving shapes out there on Xen. They have no gunpowder, they have no understanding of combustion being used to propel a small shrapnel of metal out at insane speeds and lethal scales of damage. But the War-hornets will shoot out and fly through RAW SPACE to slam into something and burst with their needle-nose stingers hurting alot. Now Gordon, a man has this power at his disposal. It does come in handy throughout the game for whenever your other weapons are low on ammo, but the hornets sometimes will not always go right where you want them unless you commit to the secondary function of 'Burst Array'. Where they willingly are spat out and fly themselves straight forwards, always good for dealing with low-down enemies like Houndeyes and Headcrabs.
Pro tip: if you pick up the hive hand but don't.. *ahem* activate, the weapon, the next time you equip it, it's already equipped, so you can just skip the animation
EDIT: 2/5/2021 - Thanks for 1,000,000 views & 2,000 subs. YT loves to reccomend this stupid video doesn't it?
Looking back at this now I regret the Undertale music included but, whatever, I might remake this video when I get my PC restored to include every line and just optimize the video in general. Thanks for the feedback, and also I'd like to say sorry to anybody if I went all overly autistic fanboy on, being young and stupid happens (clearly). Oh that and the random Mettaton at the end. (I'm not even really into Undertale at this point, just MTT lmao.)
Regardless, thanks everyone.
Eman Gamer
Felt like I needed to considering the way I acted back when I first uploaded this. Besides that I'm gonna be making a video about everything wrong with this one fairly soon... in the most parody and semi/serious way possible.
Eman Gamer Indeed. Expect it to be uploaded in a few days...aiming for October 1st.
Hey you used undertale themes right?
@@misnohammam4262 That I did, yes.
LMAO almost like postal and the cats on the gun
"If I get a camera you are so doing that again"
probably what I would say
LMAOOOOOOO I LAUGHED SO HARD
your name is fucking with the youtube UI XD
that...
is something id also say for myself.
And he pointed a gun at him
Probaly a camcorder.
I love the hesitation Gordon has before sticking his hand in. I mean, who would just jam their hand in there no questions asked?
Good question. I'd be pretty afraid to do it.
Gordon would in the original Half-Life (not source).
Agreed, although as soon as I worked myself up to do it I would have probably did it exactly as Gordon did... wanting to get the process over with as quickly as possible.
No questions asked because Gordon never speaks
No questions asked because Gordon never speaks
Considering gordon changes his weapon every single time, so hes gotta constantly fist the alien hive hand. Such a hard life that would be
Quite!
You can hear it screaming. That thing is sentient. Maybe Gordon being a horrible person is canon after all.
Nah its pretty stretched out now,now it just feeling pleasure
@@moistvibes5697 I want to say you're fucked up for even suggesting that, but you're also probably right.
@@Godzilla-se8in sounds like my reputation precedes me
"you want a cigarette? not you, the hand"
omfg
"If I find a camera you are SO doing that again!"
@@DissyIV is this real or just a sound edit
Only thing that is a sound edit is the music in the background, otherwise you can find all of this in the game if you do this yourself!
@@DissyIV no way I cant believe this
goddamnit barney
Run. Think. Shoot. Fist.
Furious fist.
I’m the 1000 like
Kisto the Fisto
@@DissyIV Fist to the wrist... Literally
Ing
2 minutes of orange guy fisting an alien gun while his pal watches
Kind of what people search on google nowdays...
This sounds like the title of a VERY questionable porn vid
@okhandokhand freakman
🟧⬛️
What a bizarre title for interspecies porn title
Alien Hive Hand: It's my first time, be gentle...
Freeman: *Jams hand inside aggressively inside the alien hive hand*
Eww.
Shut up, you know you like that sh*t.
Not if its an alien, no.
*Sassy* Mmmhmmmm....
Dissy EX Anime alien girl?
Considering an alien grunt's hand is even bigger than Gordon's…
Jean Marceaux stop right there
Ok, that's enough internet for today.
(insert Lenny face here)
There's probably a lore reason for them lets be real this gun is now known to be constantly fisted
It's not the size of the hand that matters, it's how you use it.
Jackson: "Can't tell if you're a genius or perverted"
Gordon: *aggresssively nods*
Both?
@@Doommaster19 Yes
“I told you to stick it to the aliens, not stick it IN them!?”
Gordon Freeman: taking everything literally
1:22 my same sentiments towards the farmer that first discovered "milking"
They probably saw the baby cows feeding and went from there.
@@harrypotamus4968 *_or did he?_*
@jou taama I thought we just jammed shit into our mouth until we died, you've taken my dream from me
@jou taama or just experience. one guy ate the mushroom like that and he died so the mushroom is dangerous.
Hell the cow thing was propably just logic since we breastfeed our children too.
I’m glad I’m not the only one that has these thoughts.
He has another one where he says "It's always the quiet ones."
Yeah, when the alien grunts does it, it's consider "normal" but when I do it people call me an "alien fisting perv".
The alien grunt and the alien hand weapon had a consensual relationship build on years, they took it nice and slow, until they naturally felt like a part of each other body.
Gordon just went and fisted the thing not even asking first.
@@Doomroar thanks gonna go get a melon baller now.
@@Doomroar I hate this comment so much... But love it at the same time.
@@Doomroar where you get that information?
maybe because its alien grunt only?
The first reaction is so perfect.
The way he closes his eyes and shakes his head in disbelief.
I know right? lmao
Former choreographer for the mod here, can't remember if I worked on these scenes; the writer, Ben Truman, came up with a lot of fun scenes like this, and I think in an early version events were arranged so most players would see one of these - but level design tends to move things around (receive gun on elevator, etc) so I guess in the end, this ends up as an easter egg. There's tons of these scenes in Anomalous Materials that most players won't see, usually.
Oh wow! Thanks for the info!
I need all
@@DissyIV Also dissy, I can't hear what npc says because of music
Subtitles should be enabled in the video, not much I can do about it at this point.
@@DissyIV aww, thanks tho
"Don't take this the wrong way buddy, but you're the best thing I've seen all day"
Plot twist, he's not saying that to Gordon.
I could buy it.
@@DissyIV ...for a dollar.
@@SeaJay_Oceans For TWO dollars.
queue music to set the mood...
@@DissyIV Or even 3!
I love how Gordon is apprehensive and has to take a minute to stick his hand in. I wish someone gave him a voice.
Get Ross to dub over Gordon ala Freeman's Mind for this scene.
I always just think of his Duke Nukem voice from Gorgeous Freeman.
"Uh? Maybe.... no..... do I....? Ew...... EW EW EW FUCK"
Gordon Freeman having voiceline?
BLASPHEMY!
interesting but highly disturbing
Moist towlett
I'm Jarl Balgruuf and I be BALLIN'
PHD in proctology.
u rite
the hive hand noise at 0:24 is so adorable
so cute makes you wanna fist it, amirite? anyone?
I think it might be a distorted kitten meow
Sounds like a snark
I wonder if this animation of equipping the hive hand is a reference to Adrian Shepherd being grossed out at having to do the same thing to the barnacle grapple in Shepherd's Mind.
Now that you mention it? I'd like to think so!
Thank god he doesn't have to do that to the squid and shock roach.
1:42
Guard: You want a cigarette? Not you, the hand.
Wall: N O S M O K I N G
The BMS guards are so lovable!
Indeed! Much more human-like in comparison to Half-Life 1
John Lumic I think that guys name is Jackson
They're all Barney Clones and that's all I need
You better make like an atom, and split.
This better start a chain in the replies.
@@gorftollisorn7117 You'd better make like a nut, and bolt!
Was not expecting alien porn. Life has many doors Edboys
*no.*
@@thisisahandle01 *Yes*
Your profile photo makes it so much worse.
Rolf?
0:38 i can image how gordon's face look like
"I have made several mistakes in my life"
@@DissyIV yup
1 year later and I will guess: A mix of determination, struggle and disgust then relief.
@@DissyIV me:wtf gordon
I mean, you could triple wield with it too
What how you have only two hand- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I died when I realized what he means LMFAOO
@@ferdinandjoyes1632 lol
Wth lol
Oh no....
*_its the best thing he saw all day._*
"If I find a camera you are SO doing that again!"
“You are SO doing that again!”
*points gun at you*
I wonder how the hand can smoke a cigar
I mean i know how a hand can snort cocaine
It will find a way.
@@DissyIV Life, uh, finds a way.
They have an mouth , an internal eggsack , the Wasps that shoots are its babys , it can acctualy eat and even reproduce
@@KonpakuYoumu2003
The hivehands AND the alien grunts are grown in the alien factory.
Nothing states they can reproduce naturally.
i love how gordon never hesitates to even explode like a whole tank or some other stuff but with this thing he’s like: “eh, no, maybe?, nah, actually you know what? i’ll do it”
Everyone gangsta till the hand says: hArdEr DAdDy!
FUCK LUBE.
*I'M GOING IN DRY.*
The way of life.
I hope this Guard is canonically alive in HL2
Black Mesa is a fan remake of the original, in which he does not comment on it.
Purple crowbar, that's gay
u kno it.
About that Microwave
Gaybar
That was priceless xD I wouldn´t even think that they went that far! Not only how Gordon...armed...himself with the hive, but also Barney´s reactions xD
Yep, and I didn't even get all of the lines! I missed a few actually.
Don't know why everyone is complaining about the music. There are literally subtitles _from the game_ on screen.
If you think that's bad just look at how stretched that thing gets on the alien's hand. I had no idea that the guard would react to that. Man Crowbar Collective knocked it out of the park with this remaster.
Oh you don’t have the “It’s always the quiet one”
"Do you want a cigarette? Not you. The Hand."
😂😂😂
"NO SMOKING"
“You Want a Cigarette?”
The Wall that says NO SMOKING: IM I A JOKE TO YOU
Not you, the hand..
I can barely hear him over the running engine, pig squeals, and Undertale music.
Gordan:*shoves hand up hive hand*
Security guard:*Sees gordan shove hand up hive hand* you know... Somehow, that just my day a whole lot better.
"Get those guys off me!"
*1 second passes*
*BLAM*
“Don’t take this the wrong way buddy but you’re the best thing I’ve seen all day”
Gordon with his emotionless face: *Inserts his fist into a creature which is squealing loudly
Guard: *takes photo* "You know... that just made my day a whole lot better."
"Wanna a cigaratte? not you...The hand"
Well, I just "finished" Black Mesa and I have to say I'm impressed! The game is not only improved in terms of graphics, but the voice lines have been remade and this is really a new game consisting mostly of new textures with a few points pulled from HL2. Cheatland has full commands of Black Mesa
I played hl1 and the sequels around 10 times over my life. But never seen this. What’s this mode called?
@@pappafritto Black Mesa
I didn't like seeing it once let alone 7 times....
Late reply, I probably could have cut the animation out and just have the lines show up but clearly I didn't think about it when I made the video.
I ain't no scientist... but I would've considered being a bit more gentle.
"if i find a camera you're so doing that again"
The resistance when he sticks his fingers in...
"Gordon-Chan please it's my first time with a human"
Gordon-Chan may be the worst thing I’ve read all day
"Gordon is a highly trained professional at killing things, He doesn't need to hear all this!"
"I can't tell if you're a genius for figuring that out, or if you're perverted for thinking that's the way you do it!"
No, I think Gordon is desperate for """""contact""""" considering the only humans he has been seeing recently are old men
I mean in Black Mesa there were female scientists
**Pulls Out Hand**
**See Brown On Hand**
"Good Lord"
"you want a cigarette? not you, the hand."
god, thats gotta be the best one and the worst one at the same time
Fisting that hive hand was worth it for Gordon, it was excellent for clearing out those special ops.
The music is too loud to hear the dialogue
Gordon "Free-Hand" has a whole new meaning. ;)
Guard: dont take this the wrong way buddy, but you're the best thing I've seen all day.
Gordon: Wait till you see THIS!
i tried checking the corner of the screen after the steam notification sound.
I'm watching this on mobile.
*Been playing some mods on HL2 and watching vids, youtube recommended me this*
Me: Black Mesa huh? Wonder what this one is all abo...
*Gordon Fists Alien*
...well...I hope Alyx doesn’t Kink-shame him.
It experienced pain when Gordon used it, I wonder how they managed to fit that on the grunts
The alien grunts don't even have small fingers just 2 hoofed thingies
@@denifnaf5874 I felt like I dropped this comment 10 years ago...
Also I didn't know that so thanks :)
When Gordon fully shoves it in and the alien just stops squirming and makes tiny twitches.
#mindbreak
I feel bad for that hivehand. Gordon is just shoving his hand inside of it and the security guard isn't helping it.
Gordon: i dont know if i want to do this...
hive hand: just get it over with.
Gordon: ok.....
that guy said do you want ciggarete but the sign said no smoking
You can escort him to the weapon depot and he speaks with the other guard
Yes. Yes you can. It's a nice detail!
Hive Hand: *“Harder, Daddy !!!”*
Gordon: “what?!”
Hive Hand: “what?!?”
Guard: 😲
1:50
-You are the best thing I've seen all day.
-Oh yeah? Watch this. 😏
“Strangely that’s not the worst thing I’ve seen today”
-security guard that died 10 minutes later
He also say "It's always the quite one..."
It's by far the best line.
- "When you guys say anything for science, boy, do you mean it?"
- "With a high probability." 😒
Gordon says ... to human alien relationships
that's why alyx is interested
This guys my favourite security guard. Makes the best of a fucked up situation.
Imagine you just got out of nowhere and man with a orange tin suit just walks out there with a animal of sort and just defiles the poor thing
I enjoy watching Gordon Freeman, a god among men, fist an alien hand for 2 minutes while security guard watches. Thank you for this.
You're welcome!
Guard: If I get a camera, you are SO doing that again!
Freeman: That'll be ♂three hundred bucks♂
I think that the Hivehand isn't really making those noises when he first put in the hand because of 'pain' as we would know it. It's a different creature, it's not like if someone jammed their hand up your butt-hole or something.
The Hivehand was probably just confused due to the shape of the hand entering its use-port. It had never been encountered for use by the children of men, the four fingers and poseable thumbs hooking into its mechanisms built for the Grunts. So the squirming and screaming and eventual freeze is the bioweapon redesigning its insides to fit the new model. But it doesn't really have a brain, it is just the external host of flesh for a hive of pissed off constantly regenerating War-hornets. Which is probably the only projectile reliable enough to navigate the combs and weaving shapes out there on Xen. They have no gunpowder, they have no understanding of combustion being used to propel a small shrapnel of metal out at insane speeds and lethal scales of damage. But the War-hornets will shoot out and fly through RAW SPACE to slam into something and burst with their needle-nose stingers hurting alot.
Now Gordon, a man has this power at his disposal. It does come in handy throughout the game for whenever your other weapons are low on ammo, but the hornets sometimes will not always go right where you want them unless you commit to the secondary function of 'Burst Array'. Where they willingly are spat out and fly themselves straight forwards, always good for dealing with low-down enemies like Houndeyes and Headcrabs.
Sex
If it has a hole there is a goal
Glad I don't see a mod version of this weapon.
my god what are you doing
good god
oh my god we're doomed
greetings
The subtitle is hilarious
“ mom dude mom dude mom dude mom dude “
I didn't even notice that, lmfao.
the hands of the alien grunt are bigger, so it should hurt more, but that poor weapon was violated without their consent
0:59 did i just hear Papyrus's theme play?
Correct!
that steam notification tricked me!! WHY GORDON!
Pro tip: if you pick up the hive hand but don't.. *ahem* activate, the weapon, the next time you equip it, it's already equipped, so you can just skip the animation
This is true!
And Gordon made a best friend that day. It wasn’t the guard.
"It's always the quiet ones"
“Oh my god… if I find a camrea your so doing that again!”
Smash or pass the hive hand
smash
You're the best thing I've seen all day
0:46 Freeman awoke something deep within that gaurd.
I heard the steam sound effect and instantly opened steam and checked my notifications. Thanks
If I were him, i would've Googled "How to use a hive hand" (well, sh!t).
I love how gordon internally debates wether to put his hand in flat or in as a fist
*W H Y I S T H E R E A H O L E ? !*
A S S
considering how big the original wearers hand is 2x the size of Gordon's, makes you wonder how these hive hands reacted to it the first time.
1:35 had me looking for the damn chat window for too long
No hivehands were harmed in this video.