Hi guys oops I mean men from single parent households it was a mistake 🤣of course I have friends from single parent households ❤️ 😩 I’ll make a pin comment Find me here : Rise&Strategize Zoom Class Is Now Sold Out linktr.ee/sapphirelovee
Being nice is overrated. There is no award or gold medal for a people pleaser. Back to being standoffish and reserving kindness and compassion for those who need it.
Yes, I used to get told “I thought your were going to be a b-word when I first saw you” 😂😂😂 so I tried to be “nicer” which got me steamrolled. While being nice, I made little progress in life and my looks declined rapidly. On the contrast, being intimidating and unapproachable, I completed my goals quicker because I wasn’t distracted by people who just wanted to dissect & deter me.
Wow this has been my experience as well and it’s gotten me nowhere and actually ruined my life a few times and I attract the WORST most damaged people who just are sick in the head too! It’s taken me decades to actually get this lesson. I’m 50 now so am not as hot as I was 20 years ago but at least I’m putting myself first finally and holding boundaries with people who really didn’t deserve my support or energy.
literally the last girl who told me that when she first met me i let my guard down for, she ended up talkin so shit abt me behind my back at work i got fired and she isolated me from everyone i had managed to form a connection with, she wanted to control me n would humiliate me in group settings she wanted me insecure n submissive to her i ghosted that bitch with a QUICKNESS she never saw it coming n shes even messaged me blaming me for having left like that making herself the victim even though SHE was the bully
@@philippagrimoire5968So was the issue in your ability to judge character or being too nice? You can be mean to good people and still let bad people in your life. Sometimes the issue is us.
People actually hate u more when ur nice and pretty. It pisses them off that u can be so kind. At that point they realize u have way too many good qualities
THIS. An ex 'friend' who literally got with my then boyfriend, once told me "oh my god you are soooo nice 😇 tooooo nice". She was the one who approached me to be "friends" after learning her then boyfriend used to have a crush on me. She literally even recommended the song "girlfriend" by avril lavigne to all of us, before leaving his bf for my ex. That ex even used to tell them "nobody is prettier than my gf🥺" after a fight we had... she hated my guts, always wanted to "debate" with me and needed to win so bad.
@@bloodberrybellamyThat's a tell-tale sign. If a person never agrees with anything you say, even when your point or position isn't really debatable, they dislike you. I have a sister like this. She is a single mom with two sons with different fathers, barely graduated from a low-tier college and has very low earning potential. I'm pretty, tall, child-free, well established in my career, a law school graduate, super smart and KIND. She literally hates me. I think kindness drives them over the edge. How dare we be pretty, smart AND kind. That's just too much goodness in one person. Unfortunately, my mother is a covert narcissist and she would actually express anger when my dad complimented my long hair.
i notice putting up boundaries as a beautiful women makes people actually very angry. very scary protect yourselves ladies and if someone has an issue with any boundary BLOCK THEM
Yes. Which is why it took years of Me removing boundaries because women would get violent and attack me by groups angry I wouldn't join them places, constantly confrontation and men would stalk me never excepting no for a answer
This is so true.. I heard someone say once that when you're beautiful or rich you owe the world something because you're already born blessed. So it's like you have to have no standards, boundaries, and be a footstool for all the "underprivileged" who weren't born with your gifts. It's crazy and genuinely how people think That's why I'm seeing now that what she says in this video is necessary. Even when you downplay and belittle yourself you can't please the masses. People will destroy you for their selfish desire to use you and their envy for what you have. They will pick at you until there's nothing left. Boundaries and standards are the only way to protect you....
As a pretty girl, I agree! I've been hated for no reason for as long as I can remember. So, I tried to be more 'likeable' in some instances, just to see if that would change things. Still didn't work. So now, it just is what it is. I'm a bad, naturally beautiful B*tch. If I trigger you, I trigger you. I don't need friends, so I'll be great without you liking me or approving of me regardless 💯😁😝🤷🏽
Please don’t call yourself a B... You are a Goddess and others will have to deal with your beauty, kindness and your light 💡 ... Don’t change your natural light to darkness, just protect your energy and distance yourself from people who are not worthy of your energy.
hmm the guy ive been seeing told me something along the lines of he would've never usually talked to me because of how I look and that I look intimidating. Going to continue vetting him out and will move accordingly
@@bananabana8075 my sister had a friend who thought my sister was mean and unapproachable but still went on to befriend her. It’s safe to say this YT creator was right. That friend dated a guy who was looking for my elder sister’s hand in marriage, they are now married. She did EVERYTHING secretly, the courtship and the lobola (African practice). My sister and us all found out about their wedding when it was announced in Church. We were not invited, my sister didn’t even get to be a bridesmaid, she made sure she played everything well with her “friend”, my sister. It broke my sisters heart that she did that, but luckily for my sister she never intended to marry that guy that her friend moved secretly with. All is forgiven now, she is no longer in my sister’s life. My sister got married soon after to a person she preferred. So yeah, I’d watch out for that guy who proceeded after thinking you weren’t the kind to approach yet still proceeded. This RUclipsr is onto something, let’s hope he is looking out to gain something from you at your expense.
I had a girl imitate my disability (similar to tourette) because she thought it would make her cute and draw attention to herself. It was creepy and pathetic 🤣 Of course she did the obvious things too like copying makeup, hairstyle, outfits etc But girl.... Faking a disability is low 😂
Being attractive can be challenging, as it often feels like you're competing with those who may not be as conventionally attractive. I've experienced situations where some unconventional beauties have excluded me, believing themselves to be superior or even encouraging others to avoid me, labeling me as less desirable. I've learned to turn to prayer when grappling with the complexities of beauty privilege, as it brings both advantages and struggles. One important lesson I'm discovering is to avoid environments where people try to diminish my shine and to refrain from being overly approachable to those who may betray my trust.
@@baddiezone It can honestly make you go insane when you haven’t realised why they are doing this too. You start to feel immense shame. I’m sorry that happened to you and That’s what they do yep they were trying to humble you. Sometimes they’ll ignore you on purpose while talking to everyone else to make you feel low. Or at school/work they purposely leave you out of conversation then bring it up around you to keep you out of the loop. In the workplace they don’t fully train you you seem incompetent and it makes them feel better. They also don’t want to feel like they are helping you further as they see beauty as the reason they aren’t where they want to be in life
@@SapphireLovee Yes, I’ve encountered similar issues. I've met men who want to jump into bed with me immediately because they’re infatuated . And sometimes in relationships, some try to control their partners out of fear that someone with more money might be attracted to their partner's beauty and take them away. I've also realized that many people will be offended by my actions, but I can't take that personally since it often stems from their own insecurities. I'm planning to create a series on my RUclips channel called 'How to Be Beautiful and Strong,' which will offer insightful advice and guidance.
As a male this shit is false this is based on emotions please don’t fall for it, there was no mention of god and the guidelines he left us, there was always answers to these questions- please please look for something else to promote this is brainwashing the woman - you woman need to get away from clubs, party, bars sin stay out the way and find a good man outside of your attentions seeking society - you have to be ok with being alone!!!! Stop having sex before marriage stop having sex period and wear modestly if your posting on the internet. As women your boundaries have to be extreme! Since birth and you intuitively now it but also fail to realize that every body u collect you done fucked your ability and the blessings god had for you.
Not just attractive, but being a woman in general is a challenge because men will always chase, it will just be men of lower value who think they have a chance. These men will get even more scary mad if you reject them and their ego gets hurt worse because they perceive you as physically unattractive. There is no winning as a woman.
I was watching with skepticism, but the truth is I relate to everything you’re saying. All my life I feel like Ive been used by men and woman because I am attractive. You’re right! I knew I was attractive but did not know the power of it. My last relationship in particular really hit this point home. I was dating an older successful man and everywhere we went he was complimented on “ how beautiful his girlfriend is”. We would walk into places we visited a few times prior, and staff would remember our name , our drinks and put us in the best seating. I began to see how this was giving him a high. He began to call us a “ power couple”. The few occasions I didn’t want to go out, he would get annoyed with me. He was obsessed with the treatment, not with me. I ended that relationship. It’s an unfortunate truth. You absolutely must have standards and boundaries and realize ‘some’ people want to leach on you for what they can’t get for themselves.
@@norfolkbulldogs8602 yes babe me too I was skeptical to the power of beauty but it’s the truth. I’m sorry that happened to you. However I love that aha-moment when you realise your power it makes you realise how much more you can be getting too 😉❤️. Thanks for sharing you experience
I will continue being nice because the world needs more of it. Far too many people have become mean and think that it’s cute. Its only cute when I’m being mean right back to someone who thought I was too nice, that’d be my only exception for being mean 😂
Great advice. I've had girls start fights with me then try to get close to me. They used to seek my validation. I didn't fall for them and then they go back to being mad at me. Dressing up also helps insecure, ugly, low status people stay away from you. When I used to wear baggy clothes I attracted the worst people and this is when a lot of people used to approached me. Now I dress like a bombshell and people stay way from me.
@@Lalaland099they are sadistic. Not them trying to put you in your place because they saw you as a threat at first then exposing that they obviously admire you. Trying to get close to you to taste some of your sauce. In terms of changing your style yes That’s exactly what I did too and it works !! On both men and Women too.😂 women get threatened but still try get close because they think they can benefit of me but not with these boundaries 😂❤️ May you continue dressing like a bombshell and standing in your power with no regrets 🫶🏾
Girl this channel is so on point. I’m so tiered of ppl projecting on me. I’ve literally made myself small, stopped dressing up and all and it doesn’t work. I don’t wear make up or get hair nothing done bc of the trauma and Still ppl are intimidated. I’m over it. Bitch mode on. And if someone wants a problem they will have one by themselves long as you don’t touch me
Same I don’t wear make up or dress up much (though I have started to lately) because I’ve had so many people call me a bitch and make it a negative that I didn’t want to be unaccepted and judged and reviled but it’s actually ruined my life trying to be a nice person. I’m sick of it
@Love-q8t Take it from me I tried to do the same thing didn’t work. The trauma of women’s jealousy began as soon as I started developing, I didn’t know I was beautiful either until I saw women getting things done to their faces what I naturally had already. I tried to get a job and the customers began flirting with me, buying me things and leaving me tips just for smiling I kid you not. The cooks started flirting with me too and the girls started in on me so I left these girls were half my age and I wasn’t willing to repeat the trauma of my past so I quit.
anytime I haven’t worn makeup to school (I’m a high school senior :)), people made it a big deal and stared at me more blatantly than usual, this includes the girls that were jealous. It’s like.. people were hoping, “she’s only pretty because of the makeup”. Whether I do wear makeup or don’t nothing satisfies them. I used to be one of the fashionable kids, but I stopped dressing up too because it was too much work and negative attention brought to me. So, even in my bare state, I STILL attract the same problems. There’s no winning at all
I am literally crying my entire life is flashing by how woman and men treat me. There were good people as well but they they are extremely confident people. Thank you so much for this video. Beauty is currency.
The part with the vetting friends..I would call people friend so easily before…it’s important to vet people because I was laughing and hanging with someone that was jealous of me..
Not everything that glitters is gold 😂these jealous people are obsessed with us because I know if we hated people we wouldn’t even be “friends” with them 🤣❤️
Girl, this has to be one of the best advice videos I've ever came across, i'm almost thirty and i've experienced everything you talked about and learnt my lessons the hard way, every girl and woman need to know this
Thank you! I’m glad you found the advice helpful. I’m half way to thirty and when I tell you I also faced my fair share of bad experiences and I grew up sheltered so learned people pretty late. So It’s my pleasure to guide ✨💎💕🫶🏾
I'm with this girl. If you're nice and high up in life, people will think you're weak and fearful and will feel free to bully you, insult you and diminish your confidence, the more moral ones will probably assume that you're just a joke and in that you're low-value. A kind CEO doesn't last long in his job...
All my life people have been attracted to my light but it’s been the same thing that has scared them away. I’ve been betrayed in so many ways and I really have one true friend. I get the stuck up comments without even trying and tbh idc about people’s perception of me. However I feel like there’s a balance, I’m a beautiful, kind, and elegant woman. A couple of years ago I tried the whole leaning into my villain era thing but I didn’t like it. While I’m not a people pleaser and I’m blunt I enjoy being soft. I walk around with an air of grace and femininity and calmness because I’m learning the art of having boundaries while being kind.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I grew up my entire life being told I was "the smart one", a.k.a. "the not pretty one". I realize now, all of those people were trying to keep me from using my pretty privilege. In my 30s I had a full glow up and I refuse to downplay my beauty to comfort anyone's insecurities. I've noticed it's the reason I'm being iced out at work. I've been there 3+yrs, and have never had a complaint, so clearly it's not my intellect. There was a moment in which I was in my feelings about it. And I've made it a point not to show my face in Teams meetings in order to be taken seriously. But by the last one, I had had enough and decided to put my best foot forward. I never needed makeup, but I did do my hair and got dressed up for the meeting, even though I was at home. This caused one manager who typically likes to act like smart-Alec start stumbling and mumbling, not knowing what to say. Another manager who typically dominates the conversation barely said a word. We've had hundreds of meetings like this before, so this wasn't anything out of the ordinary. The only thing that changed was that I showed my face, and I was presentable. I didn't even know it was going to be *that big of a deal, but now I see that it is. And I loved it!
I get that a LOT! I get accused of the most ridiculous horrible mean things I didn’t even do even by other beautiful women who assume me expressing admiration to them for something they did is me trying to humiliate or be mean to them and they think I’m competing with them when I actually hate competitive women around me! I may as well just be the bitch they all assume I am and the villain
This is a genius video. A point I would like to make is that it takes a while for conventionally pretty and kind girls to detect envy because it’s not in them… they experience themselves in little to no amounts so when it’s being done to them, they are slow to spot it because they simply don’t understand it. As a conventionally pretty woman, I was one of those that took years to get it. I still get targeted a lot by both men and women but at least I can recognize it from afar and know where it’s coming from. It happens mostly at work where they see me every day and just can’t help it. The more magnetic you are, the more boundaries you must have because just how the video commentator said, you will attract EVERYTHING lol 🍯🪰🪰🪰 I purposely vet my friendships and girls must be of a similar type and attractiveness as me otherwise, I know there will be problems.
You hit the nail on the head here. 🎯❤ You really don’t see the signs and manipulative tactics because we are pure. Once you recognise the signs it helps tremendously with protection and I love that you added one pot of honey among the flies because that’s how it really is 😂
I partially agree. I will still be nice, because I am, but it doesn't mean I will let them use me and abuse me. I am nice until you overstep my boundaries. I can be a bitch, but it's not who I am in the core.
Personally, im beginning to learn it's better to axe right away when the disrespect starts vs waiting. Seeing the benefit in not being overly nice to anyone and everyone i encounter.
@@Saradazzles88 True, I didn't say you should allow disrespect either, but if a person is nice to you and you don't get any bad vibes there is no reason to be mean.
Amen!!! God told me that beauty makes people treat me like im famous. This message is confirmation and then some! This message is soooo on point. I am naturally kind and these men at the hotel started harassing me and laughing about it. I wish i had of kept a less friendly demeanor but ive learned my lesson! Men/women of all ages start crossing boundaries the minute they find out you are kind hearted and beautiful. Beauty is a resource just like money. I will do better! Thank you so much for this message!
LMFAO - The title has me gone 🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭. The irony: You're nice b/c you want to avoid being called a b*tch...but when you're nice, you become their b*tch.
I'll say this, you're one of the few women who articulate this social dynamic. To be fair, it can be quite elusive to many, as you have to strip away all of the (seemingly) empty social proprieties to see peoples' true underlying impulses. Anyway, well done.
Yes BaBE!!!! I watched so many women on RUclips and your message alone has been so unique and so on point that yes this is a secret code for how to behave when you are a highly attractive person. it will cost you your job. It will cost you your man. It will cost you everything because people literally see you as prey.
As a pretty guy i was always made fun of an excluded ...... an people tried to say because i was annoying but it wasnt ....an they also try to emulate youre style / an personality an interests
Im glad you mentioned this. I saw it happen at my job. We have a really handsome hardworking guy at my job, we'll call him Andy, i mean no one works harder than Andy. My jealous boss(female gay woman stud), promoted the other worker, we'll call him Stan, who doesn't work nearly as hard as Andy, but is more normal looking. She did the same thing to me. You have to either be 200 pounds overweight(like her), or ugly, or very ghetto for her to put you in the best jobs. Beauty envy is soooo real and the fact that I witnessed it with the two men at my work, even female bosses are jealous of good looking men-even when they are gay! I personally think the world will soon end because people have truly lost their sanity!
Girl i swear every single video you make reads me to absolute filth and i love it cause youre really helping me to become more aware of wtf is actually going on so thank you for this!
That’s what happened in mean girls. The popular pretty click got knocked down the hierarchy in the end and the whole school was satisfied with that outcome.
Never thought I'd get a Master's Degree but here I am ready to binge watch your entire channel as if it's in my finals tomarrow 😍Just what I needed, and I really loved your takes!
This is such a great message. I'm old now, but I wish I had this video when I was younger. Everything you said is true People try you and will try you even more if you are attractive. I don't know why people get more pleasure that way. So messed up.
I’m happy it resonated with you. I had to learn this the hard way I was isolation that finally got it into my head how people can be. so much spiritual warfare people are indeed messed up
Exactly they’ve been calling me stuck up. Anyone that actually knows me fr knows I’m that furthest from that and can actually be a real goof ball.🤣❤️ I play into now and who will really have good intentions for won’t be scared away away simply because we now boundaries
@@SapphireLovee exactly I’m a goofy too lol I love that the real ones see us for who we are it might only be 2 or 3 real ones but sometimes that’s all you need. Keep it going girl love the content🥰
Yes, this is sadly true! Every time I am just polite and nice to a man, they see it as a sign of interest, and then they get upset when they get rejected. And when I’m nice to women, they start seeing me as a pushover, and start showing their jealousy and hostility, even more openly.
There’s a difference between not being nice and a people pleaser and being stuck up. I’m guarded and only give my every and kindness to those who deserve it but not stuck up
I disagree with this. I am attractive and I get princess treatment from men, but I am very nice. Nice is not being a pussy. I say no to people all the time. I have respect for other people and myself. I set boundaries in a nice way. Nobody is making me do anything I don’t want to but I am not mean, I am just clear with my boundaries. You don’t need to be mean or rude to say no to people and set boundaries and hold to them
@@redefinedliving5974 I will admit I always explain my reasons for my boundaries in a nice way and I think this helps people to not see my boundaries as me being mean
Also stay away from unfortunate looking people who play victim and are "nice". 9/10 times they will snake you 🐍 . Make friends with people who are on your level (beauty, education, money) it will make life much easier.
I discovered I had a “friend” who was only always going through SOMETHING (ANYTHING). Only around for a good time or when she needed someone to come through for her. I tested her and said I for once needed a friend to be there for me bc I was going through something…..(crickets and excuses) [blocked]. Had another “friend that was so saddled with trauma and entitlement. I felt like her free therapist. Told her to tell her long term therapist about who she’s feeling; she refused bc the therapist doesn’t always “understand her” 🥴🙄. Told her she sucks my energy out and I need days/wks/and sometimes months to recover; she didn’t care at all. I cut her off for the new yr and she practically went Feral.
I have been told by people I didn’t even know existed that they thought I was mean before they knew me. I used to feel really bad and tried to show them that I’m a lovely person inside and out. These are the people who get close to you and go back and make up some of the nastiest lies about you. Everything you are saying is absolutely true
This is very, very important video! A lot of this stems from the relationship you had with your mother, if your mother was always competing with you or jealous of you it really impacts the way you show up, the female friends you choose etc.
Believe peoples actions before their words. Be careful not to put too much value on your beauty, it is only packaging. The true diamond has nothing to do with the superficial. I have come to realize it is a waste of energy to compare yourselves to other or to place value on superficial things. Focus on developing your character and growing spiritually. Don't be deceived, getting to the top of the ladder isn't what you think it is and there are very few at the top who actually have happiness. You don't need to be stuck up though, you can be kind to people. As long as you adhere to your own boundaries and standards, they cannot take advantage of you.
I don’t want to be at the top of the ladder I don’t care for it. I do think it’s important to know that there is one and where you stand on it. When I was unaware i felt extremely helpless to my situation. Now I know. I don’t take the attacks as personal and I act according. Your right it’s important not to play too much importance on beauty I talk about that in my other videos ❤️
Being a people pleaser and being a nice person are 2 different things. You don't have to be B to ppl just bc there are bad ppl in this world. You sharpen your decernment to spot those type of people from a mile away and cut the ppl off that are negative and move accordingly. 💅
Be careful though. Make sure you don't let other people's toxic taint YOUR water. It will erode your beauty. Just establish firm boundaries, and keep those eyes peeled for wolves. Now those, you can gently tell them to step off.🌹
I have always dealt with people having a hard time with my beauty even my family. But now.. now i dont care how someone feels. This is my world and im treating myself like a goddess and putting me first everytime.
I think niceness equates to people pleasing kindness is healthier. I will always be kind because that’s who I am kind indicates boundaries and standards niceness indicates that you handle people with kid gloves and you have no boundaries and that you are not assertive, but I partially agree with your message and I see where you are going. You are very well intended and you look beautiful.
Yess kind>nice. kindness is a choice and niceness is default personality even when someone doesn’t deserve it even when you need to put yourself first. Humans aren’t designed to be nice it goes back to our primal days.
I’ve been told I’m pretty and I hate being a bitch I’m overly nice because I hate being seen as mean which has created a people pleaser who doesn’t believe when people compliment me
idk, i call it more "being assertive". if they get hurt when i haven't even done anything, it is entirely on them (my whole life i've been more described than actually approached, later i often found out people i never even talked to, "knew stuff" about me??). the assertiveness, some will call it "mean" but if i had been honest without being rude and they get triggered and start trying to even slightly humilliate, it is their loss already, some even really believe that if they raise their voice they already won or sth, to me it is just "i'm not going to even listen to you, BYE💅🏻" edit: all my life i overcompensated the fact of always being called "intimidating" so i'd usually be "extra sweet" to everyone in the past, so i found funny how a "friend" (this male classmate in college who was often lowkey negging me) once called me "captain marvel", when i hadn't even fought with anyone and only used to speak my mind open and "neutrally". most have a problem with women even talking at all, and that is quite sad about our current world.
I love SheRa Seven too. I feel like she’s teaching black women what other races teach their daughters from birth. Gosh she is so emotionally intelligent, to me she is like a goddess, I think if you live the info you give in your real life too you are also a goddess
I don't think other race women are taught to be standoffish, the general conditioning for women despite looks and race is to be meek, submissive, nurturing, and a doormat, all women are taught to abandon themselves and prioritize others in some capacity, otherwise they're labeled a b word
This title…🥴 😂 I’d be more inclined to say being nice is more for USELESS people. If you have assets whether it’s beauty, money, knowledge etc you need to not be nice, people will try to use you for whatever they can get. I’m team RBF too. 😂😂
@@sispeepgame The title is quite dramatic ngl 😂but ugly people don’t even have the advantage of being stuck up. They have to be nicer presenting shall I say. I agree boundaries is needed for all. Unattractive people usually have good boundaries from what I’ve seen because I feel they look at it from the outside and see how the world leeches off of attractive people. RBF gang❤️✨
I always say i am good person but not nice.. I demend respect without a word thats my attitude..my energy my time are expensive i dont give it for free you gotta earn it.. You earned a piece by this video
3:45 this just happened to me! This guy is trying to flirt with me and compliment me and I’m not paying him any mind. He then says “accept my compliment” & I turned around and said “I do not have to accept your compliment” & walked away. How dare he ? But I never realized how powerless I’ve been living until that moment because in that moment I felt a power I’ve never felt before. I used to respond with kindness to unwanted advances but not anymore… oh well
Yes They need our validation sweetie and become irritated when we don’t want them because we hurt their egos. They set themselves up by putting on a pedestal and convincing themselves they need us to make themselves feel better so when we don’t give it to them of course it’s an attack so they will try pressure you more so they don’t feel embarrassed. It happens to the best of us I had to reply with niceness but they play on that 😳
You are a 1000% correct! I had to learn this and relearn it during life. Also, I have noticed that people who are not necessarily handsome or beautiful have taken these tips and flipped the narrative in a few instances, but they don’t last unless they have something else to offer. And it’s so true, 99% of the people that cozy up to beautiful people do not really like you. And No is super liberating and if they think you are a B for saying it, it’s their problem, not yours.
As a good looking person... who is kind to others... this sounds like advice for people who dont think theirbare really fine. Cus if u know u fine...u couldnt care less what people think about if ure nice or mean. 😂. Nice is NOT the same as pushover. Nice is another word for considerate, and civil. Looks aint got shit to do with maintaining a good character. #sexynicepeoplearecuter
Kind>Nice. Kindness is a choice but Niceness is a default personality to always be pleasant and keep the peace even when it’s not deserved. Niceness is putting others feelings above your own
There is a difference between being nice and kindhearted. You have to be a ”bitch” to survive in this world, but that doesn’t mean you have to be evil. ”Tough love” is a great example of this, you may yell and be a bit bossy towards somebody but in the end it’s not wrong if you’re doing it for a good reason, and that could be wanting them to succeed etc. Being nice means people-pleasing, you prioritize their needs over yours. Who cares if you’re called bitchy and mean? As long as you got a good heart, it’s all good.
Listen, I'm going to update my comment when I see the rest of the video, but based on the title alone, I will say this is a lesson I learned the hard way.
Where were you 12 years ago 😢... I'm listening now trying not to repeat mistakes and not allow everyone in my space. Majority women just got close and tried to gain my trust to set me up and expose my secrets or make up lies.. Ladies listen to her whew🎉 I thought i was being kind...they took advantage and teamed up against me to try to take me down..... Jealous
I’m so sorry you went through that, but I’m so glad you’re recognising it now. Boundaries are everything and protecting your space is key. Oh especially when you are quiet and reserved they will get close to you to know your secrets to spread it to their other friends. They use our trauma as entertainment. Thanks for sharing your experience 💕✨
@SapphireLovee You are absolutely correct!! Can you help with how to exercise boundaries? Especially with family who call you do everything for them and expect you to take care of them financially. An..how to have boundaries w/ women you realize have been frenemies when they try to come back in your life,
People pleasing it’s a silent killer. Chips away at you until you’re an empty shell. But don’t be too hard on yourself, look it happened to me and each day you will love yourself more on this journey . It’s a forever thing 💗
"I only date men who are of particular height", me too😂😂 after tolerating everyone and almost anything, i can't emphasize how important it is to say "no i wont deal with a 5'5 balding guy who will end up mistreating me anyway"
Amazing content! Your videos really help pick up my pieces, cause those past two years, people have been breaking my heart left and right and trying to ruin my life and reputation. I used to be in total disbelieve that the ones closest to me can use me or betray me after saying they love me, but here I am. I have a really naive and radiant personality, people get drawn to me like flies on honey. And after they get close enough, they try everything to provoke me or lower my self esteem. So lately I've been learning to stay nice, but be comfortable with making people feel uncomfortable around me, and yes, being a bitch if necessary. Maddie from Euphoria actually because my inspiration. Thank you for sharing your wisdoms and care! I wish your content finds a lot more people who need to hear that. God bless you!❤
Thank you so much for sharing this with me. It takes strength to keep going despite everything we’ve been through. Remember, your radiant personality is a gift, but it’s okay to set boundaries and protect your energy. You’re on the right path. I love making people uncomfortable now.So empowering. Also no way? Maddie From Euphoria is one my inspirations tooo. I had a Cassie in my life just like maddie 😂I’m so mad they didn’t continue the new season I want to see the relationship between her and that older woman because she maddie didn’t get emotional support from her mum. I was itching to do a psychological deep dive on that😂
The average woman (& man) is a social climber. That means most pple coming at you are seeking something from you. So at least if u must be close, have something you’re getting from them too. And for best friends, have them aligned with your values at the closest level. Otherwise, it just don’t click as close. Lesson I learned this yr.
This is what I needed. I am overly nice to girls in my class and they try to make me insecure but they can never. I am pretty and topper. I can see the signs of jealousy in girls around me but I didn't stand for myself that often cus idc. Ty sm for making this amazing video love ✨😭💅🏻. Btw u look Stunning!
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Hi guys oops I mean men from single parent households it was a mistake 🤣of course I have friends from single parent households ❤️ 😩 I’ll make a pin comment
Find me here :
Rise&Strategize Zoom Class Is Now Sold Out linktr.ee/sapphirelovee
Being nice is overrated. There is no award or gold medal for a people pleaser. Back to being standoffish and reserving kindness and compassion for those who need it.
@@Giantfloatingballoonhead It leaves you drained and sick in the end I’m telling ya. Yes that’s the best way☺️
You are so 💯 on that, I had to learn the hard way....
More like to those who deserves it ❤❤If someone don't appreciate you or your time deserve no access or relationship with you
How to distinguish someone that really needs or deserves it? It is hard when you are an empath 😢
Like the old saying goes, “don’t throw pearls before swine.”
I was a people pleaser for too long. It got me no where
Absolutely nowhere but maybe to hell 😂
Continue to Be kind, yet wise and god will take care of you!
Yes, I used to get told “I thought your were going to be a b-word when I first saw you” 😂😂😂 so I tried to be “nicer” which got me steamrolled. While being nice, I made little progress in life and my looks declined rapidly.
On the contrast, being intimidating and unapproachable, I completed my goals quicker because I wasn’t distracted by people who just wanted to dissect & deter me.
Wow this has been my experience as well and it’s gotten me nowhere and actually ruined my life a few times and I attract the WORST most damaged people who just are sick in the head too! It’s taken me decades to actually get this lesson. I’m 50 now so am not as hot as I was 20 years ago but at least I’m putting myself first finally and holding boundaries with people who really didn’t deserve my support or energy.
literally the last girl who told me that when she first met me i let my guard down for, she ended up talkin so shit abt me behind my back at work i got fired and she isolated me from everyone i had managed to form a connection with, she wanted to control me n would humiliate me in group settings she wanted me insecure n submissive to her i ghosted that bitch with a QUICKNESS she never saw it coming n shes even messaged me blaming me for having left like that making herself the victim even though SHE was the bully
@@philippagrimoire5968 this ! Thank you for sharing your experience this is reality of how it affects our lives
@@philippagrimoire5968So was the issue in your ability to judge character or being too nice? You can be mean to good people and still let bad people in your life. Sometimes the issue is us.
You have an ego,get that check.
People actually hate u more when ur nice and pretty. It pisses them off that u can be so kind. At that point they realize u have way too many good qualities
YESSS
THIS. An ex 'friend' who literally got with my then boyfriend, once told me "oh my god you are soooo nice 😇 tooooo nice". She was the one who approached me to be "friends" after learning her then boyfriend used to have a crush on me. She literally even recommended the song "girlfriend" by avril lavigne to all of us, before leaving his bf for my ex. That ex even used to tell them "nobody is prettier than my gf🥺" after a fight we had... she hated my guts, always wanted to "debate" with me and needed to win so bad.
@@bloodberrybellamyThat's a tell-tale sign. If a person never agrees with anything you say, even when your point or position isn't really debatable, they dislike you. I have a sister like this. She is a single mom with two sons with different fathers, barely graduated from a low-tier college and has very low earning potential. I'm pretty, tall, child-free, well established in my career, a law school graduate, super smart and KIND. She literally hates me. I think kindness drives them over the edge. How dare we be pretty, smart AND kind. That's just too much goodness in one person. Unfortunately, my mother is a covert narcissist and she would actually express anger when my dad complimented my long hair.
“Act your face” 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
lol
@@rensii-e8b 😬👍🏻😁
With or without the make up 😂😂
@@thinkingoutloud675 hey girl, hey! Speaking of makeup have you tried the new Rare Beauty? 💅🏽
i notice putting up boundaries as a beautiful women makes people actually very angry. very scary protect yourselves ladies and if someone has an issue with any boundary BLOCK THEM
Omg so true!!
Yes.
Which is why it took years of Me removing boundaries because women would get violent and attack me by groups angry I wouldn't join them places, constantly confrontation and men would stalk me never excepting no for a answer
Yes my sister trust ❤
How would you know?
This is so true.. I heard someone say once that when you're beautiful or rich you owe the world something because you're already born blessed. So it's like you have to have no standards, boundaries, and be a footstool for all the "underprivileged" who weren't born with your gifts.
It's crazy and genuinely how people think
That's why I'm seeing now that what she says in this video is necessary.
Even when you downplay and belittle yourself you can't please the masses.
People will destroy you for their selfish desire to use you and their envy for what you have.
They will pick at you until there's nothing left.
Boundaries and standards are the only way to protect you....
Being nice is perceived as being weak
I’m thinking this is even going back to primal days ❤️🤣humans aren’t designed to be nice
As a pretty girl, I agree! I've been hated for no reason for as long as I can remember. So, I tried to be more 'likeable' in some instances, just to see if that would change things. Still didn't work. So now, it just is what it is.
I'm a bad, naturally beautiful B*tch. If I trigger you, I trigger you. I don't need friends, so I'll be great without you liking me or approving of me regardless 💯😁😝🤷🏽
Please don’t call yourself a B... You are a Goddess and others will have to deal with your beauty, kindness and your light 💡 ... Don’t change your natural light to darkness, just protect your energy and distance yourself from people who are not worthy of your energy.
👏 👏👏 me too !
The bullies thought that they were humbling me, but the whole time I'm naturally humble.
Exactly!!✨
✍Beware of "friends" who say "you look so intimidating I thought you were mean"✍
hmm the guy ive been seeing told me something along the lines of he would've never usually talked to me because of how I look and that I look intimidating. Going to continue vetting him out and will move accordingly
I just had this few months ago. She wanted to be close to me but then she f-ed up when she lost her temper one day and her front was gone.
@@bananabana8075 my sister had a friend who thought my sister was mean and unapproachable but still went on to befriend her. It’s safe to say this YT creator was right. That friend dated a guy who was looking for my elder sister’s hand in marriage, they are now married. She did EVERYTHING secretly, the courtship and the lobola (African practice).
My sister and us all found out about their wedding when it was announced in Church. We were not invited, my sister didn’t even get to be a bridesmaid, she made sure she played everything well with her “friend”, my sister.
It broke my sisters heart that she did that, but luckily for my sister she never intended to marry that guy that her friend moved secretly with. All is forgiven now, she is no longer in my sister’s life. My sister got married soon after to a person she preferred.
So yeah, I’d watch out for that guy who proceeded after thinking you weren’t the kind to approach yet still proceeded. This RUclipsr is onto something, let’s hope he is looking out to gain something from you at your expense.
“Because they wanna be you” gosh you’re right. She was laughing and being all playful like i naturally am. That’s not her.
When you clock it it’s so eerie 😳. You start to realise everything else they copied from you 😮
Yeah she look ask asf doing it too. I’m sure she’ll get better at it tho. BOT.
I had a girl imitate my disability (similar to tourette)
because she thought it would make her cute and draw attention to herself.
It was creepy and pathetic
🤣
Of course she did the obvious things too like copying makeup, hairstyle, outfits etc
But girl.... Faking a disability is low 😂
Being attractive can be challenging, as it often feels like you're competing with those who may not be as conventionally attractive. I've experienced situations where some unconventional beauties have excluded me, believing themselves to be superior or even encouraging others to avoid me, labeling me as less desirable. I've learned to turn to prayer when grappling with the complexities of beauty privilege, as it brings both advantages and struggles.
One important lesson I'm discovering is to avoid environments where people try to diminish my shine and to refrain from being overly approachable to those who may betray my trust.
@@baddiezone It can honestly make you go insane when you haven’t realised why they are doing this too. You start to feel immense shame. I’m sorry that happened to you and That’s what they do yep they were trying to humble you. Sometimes they’ll ignore you on purpose while talking to everyone else to make you feel low. Or at school/work they purposely leave you out of conversation then bring it up around you to keep you out of the loop. In the workplace they don’t fully train you you seem incompetent and it makes them feel better. They also don’t want to feel like they are helping you further as they see beauty as the reason they aren’t where they want to be in life
@@baddiezone yes I second that Important lesson. You have to be more strategic
@@SapphireLovee Yes, I’ve encountered similar issues. I've met men who want to jump into bed with me immediately because they’re infatuated . And sometimes in relationships, some try to control their partners out of fear that someone with more money might be attracted to their partner's beauty and take them away.
I've also realized that many people will be offended by my actions, but I can't take that personally since it often stems from their own insecurities.
I'm planning to create a series on my RUclips channel called 'How to Be Beautiful and Strong,' which will offer insightful advice and guidance.
As a male this shit is false this is based on emotions please don’t fall for it, there was no mention of god and the guidelines he left us, there was always answers to these questions- please please look for something else to promote this is brainwashing the woman - you woman need to get away from clubs, party, bars sin stay out the way and find a good man outside of your attentions seeking society - you have to be ok with being alone!!!! Stop having sex before marriage stop having sex period and wear modestly if your posting on the internet. As women your boundaries have to be extreme! Since birth and you intuitively now it but also fail to realize that every body u collect you done fucked your ability and the blessings god had for you.
Not just attractive, but being a woman in general is a challenge because men will always chase, it will just be men of lower value who think they have a chance. These men will get even more scary mad if you reject them and their ego gets hurt worse because they perceive you as physically unattractive. There is no winning as a woman.
I was watching with skepticism, but the truth is I relate to everything you’re saying. All my life I feel like Ive been used by men and woman because I am attractive. You’re right! I knew I was attractive but did not know the power of it. My last relationship in particular really hit this point home. I was dating an older successful man and everywhere we went he was complimented on “ how beautiful his girlfriend is”. We would walk into places we visited a few times prior, and staff would remember our name , our drinks and put us in the best seating. I began to see how this was giving him a high. He began to call us a “ power couple”. The few occasions I didn’t want to go out, he would get annoyed with me. He was obsessed with the treatment, not with me. I ended that relationship. It’s an unfortunate truth. You absolutely must have standards and boundaries and realize ‘some’ people want to leach on you for what they can’t get for themselves.
@@norfolkbulldogs8602 yes babe me too I was skeptical to the power of beauty but it’s the truth. I’m sorry that happened to you. However I love that aha-moment when you realise your power it makes you realise how much more you can be getting too 😉❤️. Thanks for sharing you experience
Used to be nice and got used, I bossed up real quick after that
I will continue being nice because the world needs more of it. Far too many people have become mean and think that it’s cute. Its only cute when I’m being mean right back to someone who thought I was too nice, that’d be my only exception for being mean 😂
The more beautiful you are or perceived you need more protection! Love this message. 🖤🖤🖤
Yep and you always regret being nice to people because people can be very horrible especially behind your back
Great advice.
I've had girls start fights with me then try to get close to me. They used to seek my validation. I didn't fall for them and then they go back to being mad at me.
Dressing up also helps insecure, ugly, low status people stay away from you.
When I used to wear baggy clothes I attracted the worst people and this is when a lot of people used to approached me.
Now I dress like a bombshell and people stay way from me.
@@Lalaland099they are sadistic. Not them trying to put you in your place because they saw you as a threat at first then exposing that they obviously admire you. Trying to get close to you to taste some of your sauce. In terms of changing your style yes That’s exactly what I did too and it works !! On both men and Women too.😂 women get threatened but still try get close because they think they can benefit of me but not with these boundaries 😂❤️
May you continue dressing like a bombshell and standing in your power with no regrets 🫶🏾
Bwahaha!!! Yes!🌹
So real.... they like you if you not dress the best... but if you got good style... they'll stop supporting well some 😅 f them
Probably cause they sense your judgemental energy 🥸😊
Girl this channel is so on point. I’m so tiered of ppl projecting on me. I’ve literally made myself small, stopped dressing up and all and it doesn’t work. I don’t wear make up or get hair nothing done bc of the trauma and Still ppl are intimidated. I’m over it. Bitch mode on. And if someone wants a problem they will have one by themselves long as you don’t touch me
Same I don’t wear make up or dress up much (though I have started to lately) because I’ve had so many people call me a bitch and make it a negative that I didn’t want to be unaccepted and judged and reviled but it’s actually ruined my life trying to be a nice person. I’m sick of it
Yes I support your new efforts
@Love-q8t
Take it from me I tried to do the same thing didn’t work.
The trauma of women’s jealousy began as soon as I started developing, I didn’t know I was beautiful either until I saw women getting things done to their faces what I naturally had already.
I tried to get a job and the customers began flirting with me, buying me things and leaving me tips just for smiling I kid you not.
The cooks started flirting with me too and the girls started in on me so I left these girls were half my age and I wasn’t willing to repeat the trauma of my past so I quit.
anytime I haven’t worn makeup to school (I’m a high school senior :)), people made it a big deal and stared at me more blatantly than usual, this includes the girls that were jealous. It’s like.. people were hoping, “she’s only pretty because of the makeup”. Whether I do wear makeup or don’t nothing satisfies them. I used to be one of the fashionable kids, but I stopped dressing up too because it was too much work and negative attention brought to me. So, even in my bare state, I STILL attract the same problems. There’s no winning at all
I always make myself small
If I had this talk when I was younger things would've changed sooner lol
THIS.
I am literally crying my entire life is flashing by how woman and men treat me. There were good people as well but they they are extremely confident people. Thank you so much for this video. Beauty is currency.
The part with the vetting friends..I would call people friend so easily before…it’s important to vet people because I was laughing and hanging with someone that was jealous of me..
Me too i learned the hard way unfortunately, i will forever be a bitch now
Not everything that glitters is gold 😂these jealous people are obsessed with us because I know if we hated people we wouldn’t even be “friends” with them 🤣❤️
@@SapphireLovee thats facts! ❤️
Girl, this has to be one of the best advice videos I've ever came across, i'm almost thirty and i've experienced everything you talked about and learnt my lessons the hard way, every girl and woman need to know this
Thank you! I’m glad you found the advice helpful. I’m half way to thirty and when I tell you I also faced my fair share of bad experiences and I grew up sheltered so learned people pretty late. So It’s my pleasure to guide ✨💎💕🫶🏾
I'm with this girl. If you're nice and high up in life, people will think you're weak and fearful and will feel free to bully you, insult you and diminish your confidence, the more moral ones will probably assume that you're just a joke and in that you're low-value. A kind CEO doesn't last long in his job...
“You respect their judgment of you” oooooh I love that! That was very eye opening! 🌸🧚🏾♀️✨😭
All my life people have been attracted to my light but it’s been the same thing that has scared them away. I’ve been betrayed in so many ways and I really have one true friend. I get the stuck up comments without even trying and tbh idc about people’s perception of me. However I feel like there’s a balance, I’m a beautiful, kind, and elegant woman. A couple of years ago I tried the whole leaning into my villain era thing but I didn’t like it. While I’m not a people pleaser and I’m blunt I enjoy being soft. I walk around with an air of grace and femininity and calmness because I’m learning the art of having boundaries while being kind.
Being kind and firm with boundaries pisses people off more bc you take away all their ammunition.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I grew up my entire life being told I was "the smart one", a.k.a. "the not pretty one". I realize now, all of those people were trying to keep me from using my pretty privilege. In my 30s I had a full glow up and I refuse to downplay my beauty to comfort anyone's insecurities. I've noticed it's the reason I'm being iced out at work. I've been there 3+yrs, and have never had a complaint, so clearly it's not my intellect. There was a moment in which I was in my feelings about it. And I've made it a point not to show my face in Teams meetings in order to be taken seriously. But by the last one, I had had enough and decided to put my best foot forward. I never needed makeup, but I did do my hair and got dressed up for the meeting, even though I was at home. This caused one manager who typically likes to act like smart-Alec start stumbling and mumbling, not knowing what to say. Another manager who typically dominates the conversation barely said a word. We've had hundreds of meetings like this before, so this wasn't anything out of the ordinary. The only thing that changed was that I showed my face, and I was presentable. I didn't even know it was going to be *that big of a deal, but now I see that it is. And I loved it!
Yes, I always have boundaries and I love it, we arent even mean and they will accuse you of something you didnt do, lool.
I get that a LOT! I get accused of the most ridiculous horrible mean things I didn’t even do even by other beautiful women who assume me expressing admiration to them for something they did is me trying to humiliate or be mean to them and they think I’m competing with them when I actually hate competitive women around me! I may as well just be the bitch they all assume I am and the villain
@@philippagrimoire5968 That's Haters for you they need to get a life, lol
I agree. Be a pain and set boundaries
This is a genius video. A point I would like to make is that it takes a while for conventionally pretty and kind girls to detect envy because it’s not in them… they experience themselves in little to no amounts so when it’s being done to them, they are slow to spot it because they simply don’t understand it. As a conventionally pretty woman, I was one of those that took years to get it. I still get targeted a lot by both men and women but at least I can recognize it from afar and know where it’s coming from. It happens mostly at work where they see me every day and just can’t help it. The more magnetic you are, the more boundaries you must have because just how the video commentator said, you will attract EVERYTHING lol 🍯🪰🪰🪰 I purposely vet my friendships and girls must be of a similar type and attractiveness as me otherwise, I know there will be problems.
Very true
You hit the nail on the head here. 🎯❤ You really don’t see the signs and manipulative tactics because we are pure. Once you recognise the signs it helps tremendously with protection and I love that you added one pot of honey among the flies because that’s how it really is 😂
Wait just realised it represents like flies on honey .🤦♀️😂
No literally I didn’t get it until last year. Like envious of???? I’m so in my own world. Don’t let you also be smart and educated 😭.
@@SapphireLovee 😝😘
I partially agree. I will still be nice, because I am, but it doesn't mean I will let them use me and abuse me. I am nice until you overstep my boundaries. I can be a bitch, but it's not who I am in the core.
Yea we can still be nice. But selective with our niceness
Exactly. Dont gotta be mean just because you feel yourself. 🤦♀️
Personally, im beginning to learn it's better to axe right away when the disrespect starts vs waiting. Seeing the benefit in not being overly nice to anyone and everyone i encounter.
@@Saradazzles88 True, I didn't say you should allow disrespect either, but if a person is nice to you and you don't get any bad vibes there is no reason to be mean.
Amen!!! God told me that beauty makes people treat me like im famous. This message is confirmation and then some! This message is soooo on point. I am naturally kind and these men at the hotel started harassing me and laughing about it. I wish i had of kept a less friendly demeanor but ive learned my lesson! Men/women of all ages start crossing boundaries the minute they find out you are kind hearted and beautiful. Beauty is a resource just like money. I will do better! Thank you so much for this message!
LMFAO - The title has me gone 🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭. The irony: You're nice b/c you want to avoid being called a b*tch...but when you're nice, you become their b*tch.
😮deep!❤
Whoaaa I have to post this on my community posts tomorrow 🤯❤️
I love it! Well said! 💯
I'll say this, you're one of the few women who articulate this social dynamic. To be fair, it can be quite elusive to many, as you have to strip away all of the (seemingly) empty social proprieties to see peoples' true underlying impulses. Anyway, well done.
The hero and the villain have the same origin story.
Yes BaBE!!!! I watched so many women on RUclips and your message alone has been so unique and so on point that yes this is a secret code for how to behave when you are a highly attractive person. it will cost you your job. It will cost you your man. It will cost you everything because people literally see you as prey.
Thank you beautiful 🥰
As a pretty guy i was always made fun of an excluded ...... an people tried to say because i was annoying but it wasnt ....an they also try to emulate youre style / an personality an interests
Im glad you mentioned this. I saw it happen at my job. We have a really handsome hardworking guy at my job, we'll call him Andy, i mean no one works harder than Andy. My jealous boss(female gay woman stud), promoted the other worker, we'll call him Stan, who doesn't work nearly as hard as Andy, but is more normal looking. She did the same thing to me. You have to either be 200 pounds overweight(like her), or ugly, or very ghetto for her to put you in the best jobs. Beauty envy is soooo real and the fact that I witnessed it with the two men at my work, even female bosses are jealous of good looking men-even when they are gay! I personally think the world will soon end because people have truly lost their sanity!
Girl i swear every single video you make reads me to absolute filth and i love it cause youre really helping me to become more aware of wtf is actually going on so thank you for this!
Wow your right 😢 “I respect them more than myself” wow you read me girl
Thank you sister for helping us heal❤
I’m just being “nice” to my family members to survive. Meanwhile I’m saving my 10k to get my cottage lol
Strategic queen 👑 I love speaking about strategy on my channel ❤️
Don't let them know about your savings. They'll sabotage you
@@nussknacker9827 yes I found out the hard way 🤦♀️
That’s what happened in mean girls. The popular pretty click got knocked down the hierarchy in the end and the whole school was satisfied with that outcome.
Oooo I had to screenshot this because I might have to break this down for a video. God bless you Celeste ✨🙌
Never thought I'd get a Master's Degree but here I am ready to binge watch your entire channel as if it's in my finals tomarrow 😍Just what I needed, and I really loved your takes!
First off Congratulations a masters is such a big deal 🎉 And oop😂 you’ll pass with flying colours ✨🫶🏾❤
This is such a great message. I'm old now, but I wish I had this video when I was younger. Everything you said is true
People try you and will try you even more if you are attractive. I don't know why people get more pleasure that way. So messed up.
I’m happy it resonated with you. I had to learn this the hard way I was isolation that finally got it into my head how people can be. so much spiritual warfare people are indeed messed up
You know what even when you’re not stuck up they call you stuck up. So might as well play into it.😂
Exactly they’ve been calling me stuck up. Anyone that actually knows me fr knows I’m that furthest from that and can actually be a real goof ball.🤣❤️ I play into now and who will really have good intentions for won’t be scared away away simply because we now boundaries
@@SapphireLovee exactly I’m a goofy too lol I love that the real ones see us for who we are it might only be 2 or 3 real ones but sometimes that’s all you need. Keep it going girl love the content🥰
Yes, this is sadly true! Every time I am just polite and nice to a man, they see it as a sign of interest, and then they get upset when they get rejected. And when I’m nice to women, they start seeing me as a pushover, and start showing their jealousy and hostility, even more openly.
There’s a difference between not being nice and a people pleaser and being stuck up. I’m guarded and only give my every and kindness to those who deserve it but not stuck up
I disagree with this. I am attractive and I get princess treatment from men, but I am very nice. Nice is not being a pussy. I say no to people all the time. I have respect for other people and myself. I set boundaries in a nice way. Nobody is making me do anything I don’t want to but I am not mean, I am just clear with my boundaries.
You don’t need to be mean or rude to say no to people and set boundaries and hold to them
For most people, it's mean to set boundaries esp if you're pretty
@@redefinedliving5974 I will admit I always explain my reasons for my boundaries in a nice way and I think this helps people to not see my boundaries as me being mean
@@Ella89zxx You are very lucky to be surrounded by sane people
Perfectly said. I live by this as well.
Exactly🫶
Also stay away from unfortunate looking people who play victim and are "nice". 9/10 times they will snake you 🐍 . Make friends with people who are on your level (beauty, education, money) it will make life much easier.
Thank you !!
Also confidence ! Some are pretty but insecure & will hate you too
I discovered I had a “friend” who was only always going through SOMETHING (ANYTHING). Only around for a good time or when she needed someone to come through for her. I tested her and said I for once needed a friend to be there for me bc I was going through something…..(crickets and excuses) [blocked]. Had another “friend that was so saddled with trauma and entitlement. I felt like her free therapist. Told her to tell her long term therapist about who she’s feeling; she refused bc the therapist doesn’t always “understand her” 🥴🙄. Told her she sucks my energy out and I need days/wks/and sometimes months to recover; she didn’t care at all. I cut her off for the new yr and she practically went Feral.
I have been told by people I didn’t even know existed that they thought I was mean before they knew me. I used to feel really bad and tried to show them that I’m a lovely person inside and out. These are the people who get close to you and go back and make up some of the nastiest lies about you. Everything you are saying is absolutely true
Exactly
Precisely you won't even know they breathe and they have a strong opinion about you
I clicked on this video not expecting it to be so enlightening. I’m going to watch this atleast 3 times
@@Lovebunny0099 thank you 💜💜💜 and 3 is my favourite number it’s divine timing 😊
This is very, very important video!
A lot of this stems from the relationship you had with your mother, if your mother was always competing with you or jealous of you it really impacts the way you show up, the female friends you choose etc.
Hmmmm !
Believe peoples actions before their words. Be careful not to put too much value on your beauty, it is only packaging. The true diamond has nothing to do with the superficial. I have come to realize it is a waste of energy to compare yourselves to other or to place value on superficial things. Focus on developing your character and growing spiritually. Don't be deceived, getting to the top of the ladder isn't what you think it is and there are very few at the top who actually have happiness. You don't need to be stuck up though, you can be kind to people. As long as you adhere to your own boundaries and standards, they cannot take advantage of you.
I don’t want to be at the top of the ladder I don’t care for it. I do think it’s important to know that there is one and where you stand on it. When I was unaware i felt extremely helpless to my situation. Now I know. I don’t take the attacks as personal and I act according. Your right it’s important not to play too much importance on beauty I talk about that in my other videos ❤️
It makes me sad that this is true. When you’re nice and even kind just because it’s who you are, these lessons will be learned over time.
I watched this video twice! I wished I had listen all this before, I’m all fucked up because of being the nice and pleaser girl. Thank you Sapphire!
Being a people pleaser and being a nice person are 2 different things. You don't have to be B to ppl just bc there are bad ppl in this world. You sharpen your decernment to spot those type of people from a mile away and cut the ppl off that are negative and move accordingly. 💅
I agree girlie, self mastery is definitely a must. It’s literally the perfect balance of everything.
I used to have a lot better boundaries but years of psychiatric abuse have broken me and my boundaries became fragile. I’m becoming a bitch now.
Be careful though. Make sure you don't let other people's toxic taint YOUR water. It will erode your beauty. Just establish firm boundaries, and keep those eyes peeled for wolves. Now those, you can gently tell them to step off.🌹
@@Chrystal-nt2wc Yes 🥰❤️ So true. Thank you.
I have always dealt with people having a hard time with my beauty even my family. But now.. now i dont care how someone feels. This is my world and im treating myself like a goddess and putting me first everytime.
Yess it’s so empowering .I’m definitely in my villain goddess energy right now🤣❤️☺️
0:10 Because if the roles were reversed, she wouldn't even greet you
I think niceness equates to people pleasing kindness is healthier. I will always be kind because that’s who I am kind indicates boundaries and standards niceness indicates that you handle people with kid gloves and you have no boundaries and that you are not assertive, but I partially agree with your message and I see where you are going. You are very well intended and you look beautiful.
Yess kind>nice. kindness is a choice and niceness is default personality even when someone doesn’t deserve it even when you need to put yourself first. Humans aren’t designed to be nice it goes back to our primal days.
I’ve been told I’m pretty and I hate being a bitch I’m overly nice because I hate being seen as mean which has created a people pleaser who doesn’t believe when people compliment me
idk, i call it more "being assertive". if they get hurt when i haven't even done anything, it is entirely on them (my whole life i've been more described than actually approached, later i often found out people i never even talked to, "knew stuff" about me??). the assertiveness, some will call it "mean" but if i had been honest without being rude and they get triggered and start trying to even slightly humilliate, it is their loss already, some even really believe that if they raise their voice they already won or sth, to me it is just "i'm not going to even listen to you, BYE💅🏻"
edit: all my life i overcompensated the fact of always being called "intimidating" so i'd usually be "extra sweet" to everyone in the past, so i found funny how a "friend" (this male classmate in college who was often lowkey negging me) once called me "captain marvel", when i hadn't even fought with anyone and only used to speak my mind open and "neutrally". most have a problem with women even talking at all, and that is quite sad about our current world.
I love SheRa Seven too. I feel like she’s teaching black women what other races teach their daughters from birth. Gosh she is so emotionally intelligent, to me she is like a goddess, I think if you live the info you give in your real life too you are also a goddess
@@gtg488w Yess and you said it Goddess vibes. Some people would be mad at that word but it’s facts 🩵
I don't think other race women are taught to be standoffish, the general conditioning for women despite looks and race is to be meek, submissive, nurturing, and a doormat, all women are taught to abandon themselves and prioritize others in some capacity, otherwise they're labeled a b word
This title…🥴 😂 I’d be more inclined to say being nice is more for USELESS people. If you have assets whether it’s beauty, money, knowledge etc you need to not be nice, people will try to use you for whatever they can get. I’m team RBF too. 😂😂
@@sispeepgame The title is quite dramatic ngl 😂but ugly people don’t even have the advantage of being stuck up. They have to be nicer presenting shall I say. I agree boundaries is needed for all. Unattractive people usually have good boundaries from what I’ve seen because I feel they look at it from the outside and see how the world leeches off of attractive people. RBF gang❤️✨
RBF gang should be on a shirt lol @@SapphireLovee
I always say i am good person but not nice.. I demend respect without a word thats my attitude..my energy my time are expensive i dont give it for free you gotta earn it.. You earned a piece by this video
3:45 this just happened to me! This guy is trying to flirt with me and compliment me and I’m not paying him any mind. He then says “accept my compliment” & I turned around and said “I do not have to accept your compliment” & walked away. How dare he ? But I never realized how powerless I’ve been living until that moment because in that moment I felt a power I’ve never felt before. I used to respond with kindness to unwanted advances but not anymore… oh well
Yes They need our validation sweetie and become irritated when we don’t want them because we hurt their egos. They set themselves up by putting on a pedestal and convincing themselves they need us to make themselves feel better so when we don’t give it to them of course it’s an attack so they will try pressure you more so they don’t feel embarrassed.
It happens to the best of us I had to reply with niceness but they play on that 😳
I adore you for this information, ppl pleasing is a disease fr, btw your face is like a black rose, it's so beautiful
You’re welcome my love and Wow roses are my favourite flower and essential oil scent so I’ll cherish that compliment. Thank you!💕
You are a 1000% correct! I had to learn this and relearn it during life. Also, I have noticed that people who are not necessarily handsome or beautiful have taken these tips and flipped the narrative in a few instances, but they don’t last unless they have something else to offer. And it’s so true, 99% of the people that cozy up to beautiful people do not really like you. And No is super liberating and if they think you are a B for saying it, it’s their problem, not yours.
Thanks for sharing because this is the reality !! ❤️
I. Cannot. Believe. There. Is. Actually. Someone. Who. Made. A. Freaking video on this topic 👏👏
As a good looking person... who is kind to others... this sounds like advice for people who dont think theirbare really fine. Cus if u know u fine...u couldnt care less what people think about if ure nice or mean. 😂. Nice is NOT the same as pushover. Nice is another word for considerate, and civil. Looks aint got shit to do with maintaining a good character. #sexynicepeoplearecuter
No, nice = pushover or fake. The word you are describing is kindness. Nice is a veneer for low self esteem or narcissism.
Thank you
Kind>Nice. Kindness is a choice but Niceness is a default personality to always be pleasant and keep the peace even when it’s not deserved. Niceness is putting others feelings above your own
There is a difference between being nice and kindhearted. You have to be a ”bitch” to survive in this world, but that doesn’t mean you have to be evil. ”Tough love” is a great example of this, you may yell and be a bit bossy towards somebody but in the end it’s not wrong if you’re doing it for a good reason, and that could be wanting them to succeed etc. Being nice means people-pleasing, you prioritize their needs over yours. Who cares if you’re called bitchy and mean? As long as you got a good heart, it’s all good.
Wrong! Be kind, be great, be nice but still have discernment and boundaries...
Listen, I'm going to update my comment when I see the rest of the video, but based on the title alone, I will say this is a lesson I learned the hard way.
Where were you 12 years ago 😢...
I'm listening now trying not to repeat mistakes and not allow everyone in my space.
Majority women just got close and tried to gain my trust to set me up and expose my secrets or make up lies..
Ladies listen to her whew🎉 I thought i was being kind...they took advantage and teamed up against me to try to take me down.....
Jealous
I’m so sorry you went through that, but I’m so glad you’re recognising it now. Boundaries are everything and protecting your space is key. Oh especially when you are quiet and reserved they will get close to you to know your secrets to spread it to their other friends. They use our trauma as entertainment. Thanks for sharing your experience 💕✨
@SapphireLovee
You are absolutely correct!!
Can you help with how to exercise boundaries? Especially with family who call you do everything for them and expect you to take care of them financially.
An..how to have boundaries w/ women you realize have been frenemies when they try to come back in your life,
Your channel is the answer to all of my problems!!!!! Thank you so much for this❤
You are so welcome!
Yall all need prayer. Beautiful need no external adorning. Some of yall are “cute” for the moment 😊
I’m definitely done being nice fr
True actually the title confused me but the way you explained it makes sense
@@ITSBEXIIhahah I had to get the visuals out to make it come all together 😂😂❤️
it worked i lost all confidence i was too accepting of others and people pleasing really hurt me
People pleasing it’s a silent killer. Chips away at you until you’re an empty shell. But don’t be too hard on yourself, look it happened to me and each day you will love yourself more on this journey . It’s a forever thing 💗
@@SapphireLovee thank you I'm hopeful
Message received loud and clear! Will continually rewatch this for maintenance. Instant subscription, this channel is where I need to be!!❤️🔥
Wow, thank youuu🥰🙌
So many good gems here. And I can’t wait to be mean again. I’m excited lol yayyy to usss!!! 🥂
Heavy on the power of beauty didn’t sink innnn. BUT IT’S SUNK for me now. Trust.
You’re my pastor for this Sunday
@@ginamaka8363 Ginamaka don’t make me laugh 🤭 😂I hope you received it 🙌😂
GIIIIRRRRLLLL! YOU LITERALLY JUST SAID IT ALL. This resonates 100%. Thank you! I feel seen.
"I only date men who are of particular height", me too😂😂 after tolerating everyone and almost anything, i can't emphasize how important it is to say "no i wont deal with a 5'5 balding guy who will end up mistreating me anyway"
thank you someone who gets it 😂🤣🤣❤️
😂😂
Amazing content! Your videos really help pick up my pieces, cause those past two years, people have been breaking my heart left and right and trying to ruin my life and reputation. I used to be in total disbelieve that the ones closest to me can use me or betray me after saying they love me, but here I am. I have a really naive and radiant personality, people get drawn to me like flies on honey. And after they get close enough, they try everything to provoke me or lower my self esteem. So lately I've been learning to stay nice, but be comfortable with making people feel uncomfortable around me, and yes, being a bitch if necessary. Maddie from Euphoria actually because my inspiration. Thank you for sharing your wisdoms and care! I wish your content finds a lot more people who need to hear that. God bless you!❤
Thank you so much for sharing this with me. It takes strength to keep going despite everything we’ve been through. Remember, your radiant personality is a gift, but it’s okay to set boundaries and protect your energy. You’re on the right path. I love making people uncomfortable now.So empowering. Also no way? Maddie From Euphoria is one my inspirations tooo. I had a Cassie in my life just like maddie 😂I’m so mad they didn’t continue the new season I want to see the relationship between her and that older woman because she maddie didn’t get emotional support from her mum. I was itching to do a psychological deep dive on that😂
God bless you too ❤
Had to sub! This is some real a** advice and I can tell you've been through much of the sh*t I have.
Hot Girls Have No Chills 🖤🖤🖤
The average woman (& man) is a social climber.
That means most pple coming at you are seeking something from you. So at least if u must be close, have something you’re getting from them too.
And for best friends, have them aligned with your values at the closest level. Otherwise, it just don’t click as close.
Lesson I learned this yr.
This is what I needed. I am overly nice to girls in my class and they try to make me insecure but they can never. I am pretty and topper. I can see the signs of jealousy in girls around me but I didn't stand for myself that often cus idc. Ty sm for making this amazing video love ✨😭💅🏻. Btw u look Stunning!
Thats that Queen energy 😩🤗❤️ and thank you darling
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Came out swinging! I needed to hear this today! About to get this promotion and advocate for my raise, thank you for this 😭🙏🏽
girl u are a genius just a genius ! THANK YOU
I appreciate youuu
Off topic but her face is beautiful, and her hair is ON POINT😍😍😍
I agree you have to protect your self, have boundaries honey, yes love yourself that much
This is so real sis, thank you!
I’m not uncomfortable I want to keep watching things like this I need to know the truth we all need to talk the truth and been nice will get u nowhere
WAIT I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS TODAYY. I LOVE THIS CHANNEL ALREADY.
I appreciate you🥰