I like your first example, personally, which I think would be a good choice perhaps for a character who went to Slytherim in the Harry Potter series, where the traits that they embody, *or are yet to*, are on display for the reader, and do we want to root for them; during tension, etcetera.
Love the idea of doing a practice monologue first. And I still have to pick up that book on editing! Thanks so much for these tips & great examples, Holly! ❤️
I love how you break all these factors down. I always beef up my internalization in draft 2. I wish I did better in draft 1 lol. My draft 1 is basically a writing practice in figuring out my character lol, I should def do that separately instead of writing 60k words to comb through lol. I don’t do italics. Usually I don’t write anything since it’s clear they’re thinking it in my 1st person POV, but sometimes I add ‘I wondered’ or something....but then that gets into filter words so BAH. :P
Yeah, I think it's okay to add in a thought or wondered tag here and there as long as overall you're consistent. I usually have too much internal monologue and need to cut it in future drafts because it turns into purple prose. LOL
Loved this video! One main point I took away from my beta readers is I have too much external focus and need more internal thoughts from my characters so I'll def be using these tips. As I've been going through and adding it in, I write it out plain with italics or tags. The story is in third person tight POV but I have been adding more voice and linguistic structures from my two POV characters when they do have internal thoughts.
I like to do internal monologues in the midst of dialogue. I only italicize if I note in quotes a thought a character has. Sometimes I will do a deep dive into a character's thoughts, which is done in paragraph form. I like to write in both third-person limited and third-person omniscient. I have written one book in first person about the last man on earth, which was almost entirely made up of internal monologues since there were no other characters.
Ok so this gave me lots to think about. Normally when I do internal monologue I just do it in normal text. My thought was unless I put it in quotes then its either narration or internal monologue and god help me not exposition. ha!
@@WriteHollyDavis I agree I feel like if you're doing 1st or deep 3rd POV then it pulls you out of the POV. If its all from that character's POV, it should all be their thoughts. But I could be wrong LOL.
I have been working on voice in my current second draft. It is tricky to figure out how to keep a voice for each character with out being super cheese or over the top. Thanks for this video, it was helpful to hear your thought and the examples you shared! 💜
Ah, that's so true! I think it takes practice to strike that balance where it's not too over the top. Sounds like you're doing great though. Good luck!
How do you figure out what they're thinking? I can write what my character will do, and what they'll say, and how they feel, but not what they're actually thinking. All everyone does is explain why internal monologues are good and how to display them, but not how to figure out what the character is thinking
That's a very good question! If you come up with dialogue, maybe that is something they would think vs say out loud. And if you know how they'll feel, think about what they'd say to themselves in response to that feeling. Think about taking a pause between action, description, and dialogue, and ask yourself what this character would say to themselves about the situation, maybe something they wouldn't tell someone else out loud, their fears, their wants, etc. Looking at examples will help bring that out too-- or even think about how you would react in that character's situation. Hope that helps :)
In my past stories I focused more on actions taking place - I was closer to screenplay writing. But currently I have a phase where I suddenly write a lot - an awful lot - of inner monologue for the main character. It is just too much. I quit 4 different stories I started before because of this, since I found it annoying for the reader. I think, my subconsience channels my own inner struggles through these fictional characters. I know angsty teens do this writing fanfics. But I wasn't an angsty teen. Obviously me as a 37 year old channel my own quarterlife crisis through my protagonists and I don't want to, because I want to write quality stories. The reader is not my therapist.
Yeah, it's all about finding a balance. For example, you wouldn't have lots of internal monologue during battle or action scenes because it would slow the pacing down. "The reader is not my therapist" is sooo true!
Do you like to include your character's inner thoughts in your novel?⤵️
I like your first example, personally, which I think would be a good choice perhaps for a character who went to Slytherim in the Harry Potter series, where the traits that they embody, *or are yet to*, are on display for the reader, and do we want to root for them; during tension, etcetera.
OOh, good point!!
Love the idea of doing a practice monologue first. And I still have to pick up that book on editing! Thanks so much for these tips & great examples, Holly! ❤️
Ps. I really like your reading voice! (-Imagining Holly as an audiobook reader 🤔 ☺️-)
Yesss that book is awesome!
@@AuthorBrittanyWang and bwahaha I'd love to be a narrator. XD
I love how you break all these factors down. I always beef up my internalization in draft 2. I wish I did better in draft 1 lol. My draft 1 is basically a writing practice in figuring out my character lol, I should def do that separately instead of writing 60k words to comb through lol.
I don’t do italics. Usually I don’t write anything since it’s clear they’re thinking it in my 1st person POV, but sometimes I add ‘I wondered’ or something....but then that gets into filter words so BAH. :P
Yeah, I think it's okay to add in a thought or wondered tag here and there as long as overall you're consistent. I usually have too much internal monologue and need to cut it in future drafts because it turns into purple prose. LOL
WriteHollyDavis lol. I tend to keep everything in my head & forget to put it down cuz I’m just in such a rush to get the story out.
Loved this video! One main point I took away from my beta readers is I have too much external focus and need more internal thoughts from my characters so I'll def be using these tips. As I've been going through and adding it in, I write it out plain with italics or tags. The story is in third person tight POV but I have been adding more voice and linguistic structures from my two POV characters when they do have internal thoughts.
Yes, that seems like the perfect plan!! It's fun to try to strike that balance between internal and external showing
I like to do internal monologues in the midst of dialogue. I only italicize if I note in quotes a thought a character has. Sometimes I will do a deep dive into a character's thoughts, which is done in paragraph form. I like to write in both third-person limited and third-person omniscient. I have written one book in first person about the last man on earth, which was almost entirely made up of internal monologues since there were no other characters.
Nice! Sounds like you've got internal monologue down pat. :)
I use italics but I understand that filtering ( He thought, she thought) is not good practice and should not be used too often
Great insight! Hope your writing is going well!
@@WriteHollyDavis Thank you. It's a hard habit to break. Looking at my present manuscript, I still find too many instances that need fixing.
Ok so this gave me lots to think about. Normally when I do internal monologue I just do it in normal text. My thought was unless I put it in quotes then its either narration or internal monologue and god help me not exposition. ha!
Yes, I like to do normal text too, cause it gives me a sense of deeper POV.
@@WriteHollyDavis I agree I feel like if you're doing 1st or deep 3rd POV then it pulls you out of the POV. If its all from that character's POV, it should all be their thoughts. But I could be wrong LOL.
I have been working on voice in my current second draft. It is tricky to figure out how to keep a voice for each character with out being super cheese or over the top.
Thanks for this video, it was helpful to hear your thought and the examples you shared! 💜
Ah, that's so true! I think it takes practice to strike that balance where it's not too over the top. Sounds like you're doing great though. Good luck!
You always have the best examples! Thanks!
Thanks chica! :)
How do you figure out what they're thinking? I can write what my character will do, and what they'll say, and how they feel, but not what they're actually thinking. All everyone does is explain why internal monologues are good and how to display them, but not how to figure out what the character is thinking
That's a very good question! If you come up with dialogue, maybe that is something they would think vs say out loud. And if you know how they'll feel, think about what they'd say to themselves in response to that feeling. Think about taking a pause between action, description, and dialogue, and ask yourself what this character would say to themselves about the situation, maybe something they wouldn't tell someone else out loud, their fears, their wants, etc. Looking at examples will help bring that out too-- or even think about how you would react in that character's situation. Hope that helps :)
With the Horror Dark Fantasy novel I do. I am trying not to add them in another series.
Really? Its good to have some inner dialogue to help readers connect to the characters
WriteHollyDavis that true. However the other series, first book is in third omniscient point of view. I don’t think it will work. I could be wrong.
In my past stories I focused more on actions taking place - I was closer to screenplay writing. But currently I have a phase where I suddenly write a lot - an awful lot - of inner monologue for the main character. It is just too much. I quit 4 different stories I started before because of this, since I found it annoying for the reader. I think, my subconsience channels my own inner struggles through these fictional characters. I know angsty teens do this writing fanfics. But I wasn't an angsty teen. Obviously me as a 37 year old channel my own quarterlife crisis through my protagonists and I don't want to, because I want to write quality stories. The reader is not my therapist.
Yeah, it's all about finding a balance. For example, you wouldn't have lots of internal monologue during battle or action scenes because it would slow the pacing down. "The reader is not my therapist" is sooo true!
Self publish
This isn't a route I'd like to take right now, if ever, seeing as I want support of a team and don't want control of everything. But thanks!
Don't aspire to be published. Self-publish.
This isn't always a viable option for everyone! A lot of work goes into both publishing paths.