The Most Hilarious One-Line Summaries Of Classic Novels

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  • Опубликовано: 3 дек 2024
  • On The Babylon Bee Interview Show, Kyle and Ethan talk to Erica Rhodes about the amazing legacy her father left behind with the best one-line summaries of classic novels.
    You can read Erica’s blog with her father’s one-liners here:
    / deans-list
    See the full show here:
    • Comedic Ghost Stories:...
    Subscribe to The Babylon Bee for more dry reading of headlines by Kyle.

Комментарии • 1,3 тыс.

  • @johnsmith4811
    @johnsmith4811 2 года назад +1488

    French novel: I will die for love.
    English novel: I will die for honor.
    German novel: I will die for country.
    American novel: I will die for fame.
    Russian novel: I will die.

    • @RaiceGeriko
      @RaiceGeriko 2 года назад +18

      Wow...

    • @amante2443
      @amante2443 2 года назад +7

      When it comes to fame I think the Americans could contradict and say:
      "remember my name (fame) I'm gonna live forever, I'm gonna learn how to fly; high."
      Which someone probably is because they still ironically making it to heaven.
      But not only is that more a classic movie that's harder to encapsulate into a book. I'm not American. So it's really not for me to say.

    • @BeMyCthulhu
      @BeMyCthulhu 2 года назад +42

      As a Russian, I confirm Russian book characters motto.

    • @juliuscaesar6660
      @juliuscaesar6660 2 года назад +39

      Spanish novel: Heros don't die you silly **dies**

    • @anonymous3637
      @anonymous3637 Год назад +78

      Japanese novel: I will kill myself.

  • @stvdagger8074
    @stvdagger8074 3 года назад +1993

    Lord of the Rings : Short people face serious opposition while trying to return jewelry.

    • @SweatyFatGuy
      @SweatyFatGuy 3 года назад +15

      Even more succinct. The walking book/movie.

    • @icthulu
      @icthulu 3 года назад +20

      Lord of the Rings: 3 garbage men avoid adventure while everyone else does things.

    • @jonathanclemens4660
      @jonathanclemens4660 3 года назад +5

      🤣

    • @jonathanclemens4660
      @jonathanclemens4660 3 года назад +53

      One comment to rule them all.

    • @LivingCrusader
      @LivingCrusader 3 года назад +14

      Actually they are trying to destroy jewelry

  • @jordancox4767
    @jordancox4767 3 года назад +812

    Dante's Inferno: Man has a hell of a time.

    • @MamaMOB
      @MamaMOB 3 года назад +14

      9 actually hehe

    • @TheMicroTrak
      @TheMicroTrak 3 года назад +11

      Well done!

    • @janetprice85
      @janetprice85 2 года назад +8

      Lord I had to read it for lit class never so glad to reach the last circle of hell! Lol!

    • @evanthesquirrel
      @evanthesquirrel Год назад +8

      Now do Purgatorio and Paradiso. Everybody forgets it was a trilogy.

    • @Karak-_-
      @Karak-_- Год назад +6

      ​@@evanthesquirrel
      Paradiso - Everything is really bright and also Jesus.

  • @Christina-cf9ot
    @Christina-cf9ot 3 года назад +902

    The Great Gatsby: just when you think something interesting might happen, he dies.

    • @Wiktor_Klugowski
      @Wiktor_Klugowski 3 года назад +43

      Its a crap novel anyways. I cant believe such inept scribble is included in the world canon of literature.

    • @lifetodamax
      @lifetodamax 3 года назад +19

      @@Wiktor_Klugowski so true. 15 years later, I'm still ticked I was forced to read it in high school

    • @sleepy1697
      @sleepy1697 3 года назад +29

      The Great Gatsby: Why are you switching cars?

    • @deucalion4451
      @deucalion4451 3 года назад +1

      @@sleepy1697 fax my English teacher in freshman year spent a whole class talking about that.

    • @MorsGloriaque
      @MorsGloriaque 3 года назад +3

      that is the interesting thing which happens

  • @DaveMiller2
    @DaveMiller2 10 месяцев назад +106

    The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy: A story that can't quite decide if it's genius or insanity, and settles on both.

    • @MelanaC
      @MelanaC 3 месяца назад

      This is genius too

  • @mikekolokowsky
    @mikekolokowsky Год назад +205

    The Oddessy: Man comes home late from work, tells wife a wild story and kills the party.

    • @anastassiosperakis2869
      @anastassiosperakis2869 7 месяцев назад

      Learn to spell, 'genius'. The "ODDESSY"? How many errors can you squeeze in one word, clown?

  • @todd8398
    @todd8398 2 года назад +772

    Moby Dick: Man vs whale, whale wins.
    Charlotte's Web: Clever web designer saves pig.
    Little Women: Three weddings and a funeral.
    Ulysses: People wander around Dublin, masturbate, get drunk, pee.
    Macbeth: Man gets bad career advice from his wife.

    • @steveperreira5850
      @steveperreira5850 2 года назад +14

      Those are really good, don’t think I’ll read Ulysses … I don’t swing that way.

    • @nonyabidness5708
      @nonyabidness5708 Год назад +30

      I lol'd SO HARD at Little Women. 😂

    • @huolalupin6008
      @huolalupin6008 Год назад +24

      These are much better than the unfunny ones in the video.

    • @Goldies86
      @Goldies86 Год назад +5

      LOL @ Little Women!!

    • @evelynda5235
      @evelynda5235 Год назад +18

      Macbeth one if GOLD!

  • @momstermom2939
    @momstermom2939 3 года назад +326

    The Wizard of Oz...”Girl travels to strange land, kills the first person she encounters, the goes on to kill again.”

    • @tomhaskett5161
      @tomhaskett5161 3 года назад +19

      Also, leaves disadvantaged friends behind, escaps scot-free

    • @pennylouise3454
      @pennylouise3454 2 года назад +6

      A girl becomes a serial killer?

    • @timewave02012
      @timewave02012 2 года назад +3

      Money printer go brrr...
      Seriously, the story is an thinly veiled allegory for monetary policy

    • @nathanberrigan9839
      @nathanberrigan9839 2 года назад +33

      Two women fight to the death over a pair of shoes.

    • @momstermom2939
      @momstermom2939 2 года назад

      My favorite!

  • @patrickvalentino600
    @patrickvalentino600 3 года назад +483

    Can't recall who reviewed Waiting for Godot as "nothing happens, twice."

    • @seanleith5312
      @seanleith5312 2 года назад +3

      those are genuinely funny, but not instantly funny. You do need really think it over, assuming you read that book, and no problem recall what was going on in the book. Some of the books I read it before, but takes me a few seconds to start laugh. And they just laugh instantly. Really? Is that I am not smart enough or they are a lot smarter?

    • @danijelandroid
      @danijelandroid 2 года назад +7

      @@seanleith5312 - your 'problem' might be you're thinking too hard. If you know the genre of the book the sentence in itself is funny enough (most of the time).

    • @pennylouise3454
      @pennylouise3454 2 года назад +2

      Lol

    • @aidanmcquade8316
      @aidanmcquade8316 Год назад +8

      It was, I believe, the original Irish Times review of the play.

    • @evanthesquirrel
      @evanthesquirrel Год назад +2

      I always confuse Waiting For Godot with Rosencrantz and Gildenstern are Dead.

  • @edmain1137
    @edmain1137 2 года назад +500

    Wizard of Oz: Ultimate woman's book, two women fight to the death over a pair of shoes.

  • @dagnytaggart5955
    @dagnytaggart5955 3 года назад +462

    Dune: Ambitious young man becomes the universe's drug kingpin.

    • @SouthpawZer0
      @SouthpawZer0 3 года назад +27

      Rich kid goes to Burning Man, gets high, starts a cult.

    • @ragnarragnarson9393
      @ragnarragnarson9393 3 года назад +4

      I like 👍yours Dangy!

    • @ANonymous-mo6xp
      @ANonymous-mo6xp 3 года назад +3

      Nice.

    • @joegeorge9869
      @joegeorge9869 3 года назад +2

      Come now! A name like “Dagny Taggart” and you’re riffing on Dune?!?

    • @dagnytaggart5955
      @dagnytaggart5955 3 года назад +7

      @@joegeorge9869 What's your point?

  • @EverettBurger
    @EverettBurger 3 года назад +135

    Catcher In The Rye: Wealthy elite kid thinks everyone else is a phony.

    • @jamespfitz
      @jamespfitz 2 года назад +8

      That's less funny than accurate.

    • @timewave02012
      @timewave02012 2 года назад +3

      Boomer edgelord: *exists*

  • @SusanBaileyAmazingEstate
    @SusanBaileyAmazingEstate 2 года назад +517

    This guy’s list would make a fun game. Read out the line and guess the novel.

    • @angelswings1219
      @angelswings1219 2 года назад +11

      and add some of the wonderful comments here too!

    • @williamwalkup988
      @williamwalkup988 2 года назад +10

      Great idea for college students wanting a new twist to their drinking games.

    • @skysurfer5cva
      @skysurfer5cva Год назад +24

      Along the same lines is a game called Twisted Titles that was featured for quite a few years in the U.C. Berkeley alumni magazine (do an internet search for "farewell to twisted titles"). My dad was a Cal graduate and showed me the game not long before the magazine ended it. The premise was, change one letter in the title of a book, a movie, a song, etc., then write a caption. It's similar to what is in the these comments, but with the letter change. Since my dad and I are accomplished punsters, I immediately went to work creating twisted titles. In just under an hour, I had more than 100 and it didn't take long--sorry to say--to crack 500. Here are a dozen of my favorites.
      The Downing Streek Years (pardon the spelling): Maggie bares all.
      Ski & Telescope: Downhill astronomy.
      A Brief History of Mime: Dr. Hawking changes careers.
      Animal Firm: The horse incorporates.
      Dragula: Vlad the Crossdresser.
      The Adventures of Tom Lawyer: Mischievous boy selects a career.
      The Gums of August: Dental problems lead the Kaiser to war.
      Ben Her: TG scandal rocks the chariot racing circuit.
      Capablanca: The Cuban prodigy plays it again.
      Gunsmote: Nope, it’s the person, not the tool.
      Motel California: The Eagles reduce their travel expenses.
      The Horton Utilities: Dr. Seuss writes an unerase program.

    • @SusanBaileyAmazingEstate
      @SusanBaileyAmazingEstate Год назад +2

      @@skysurfer5cva 😂

    • @yvonnepalmquist8676
      @yvonnepalmquist8676 Год назад +3

      That's what I was hoping we'd be watching.

  • @Infernoblade1010
    @Infernoblade1010 2 года назад +315

    1984: Well it took longer than we expected

    • @margricks
      @margricks Год назад +8

      Actually, this is so true!

    • @johnmcguire4635
      @johnmcguire4635 Год назад +5

      I love how no one mentions Brave New World. What basic suburban posers LOL

    • @engmed4400
      @engmed4400 Год назад +10

      @@johnmcguire4635 Brave New World: Sex, Drugs, and Low-hanging Fruit

    • @carly4513
      @carly4513 Год назад +1

      Oooh so true, and also sad.

    • @Progamermove_2003
      @Progamermove_2003 8 месяцев назад +1

      What took longer than expected? I've read the book but I don't get your point.

  • @TheMythMaiden
    @TheMythMaiden 3 года назад +1486

    Here's one! 1984: It's just like 2021 but with less Antifa and more clapping

    • @profoundwill43
      @profoundwill43 3 года назад +22

      Lmao!! Yesss

    • @greghahn979
      @greghahn979 3 года назад +14

      and saccharin tablets

    • @pantarkan7
      @pantarkan7 3 года назад +98

      1984, you thought it was fiction, but it's really an operations manual.

    • @billyoung8118
      @billyoung8118 3 года назад +12

      Had to read 1984 in high school (coincidentally in 1984). Was honestly the most God for awful boring book I ever read. It was a struggle to get through it.

    • @jeremiahalexander5513
      @jeremiahalexander5513 3 года назад +3

      🤣

  • @Yeetypete
    @Yeetypete 2 года назад +118

    Animal farm: metaphorical tyrannical pig has his farm stolen by literal tyrannical pig

    • @Yeetypete
      @Yeetypete 2 года назад +13

      Harry potter: rejected orphan goes to boarding school and is stalked by a deranged noseless man

  • @tchoupitoulos
    @tchoupitoulos 3 года назад +161

    The Old Man And the Sea: The old man returns from a fishing trip with a story about the one that got away.

    • @dennisdezarn5895
      @dennisdezarn5895 3 года назад +6

      Sharks suck.

    • @jtc1947
      @jtc1947 Год назад

      @ BILL....I think that i saw the movie and wondered what all the fuss was about?

    • @tchoupitoulos
      @tchoupitoulos Год назад +1

      @@jtc1947 None of the Hemingway movie adaptations are any good. Read the books

    • @jtc1947
      @jtc1947 Год назад +2

      @@tchoupitoulos I tried reading a bit of Hemingway. Couldn't get into it. Did You know that Hemingway started out with Gender identity problems? His Mother dressed him like a girl and He had long hair until the DAD finally put the foot down. I think about age 4 ??

    • @tchoupitoulos
      @tchoupitoulos Год назад +7

      @@jtc1947 Sound like it's his mom who had the problems

  • @changer_of_ways_999
    @changer_of_ways_999 3 года назад +76

    To Kill a Mockingbird: Instructions unclear

  • @reirei135
    @reirei135 3 года назад +171

    Anne of Green Gables: A girl just wants to have fun and everyone thinks she's crazy

    • @lifetodamax
      @lifetodamax 3 года назад +13

      She just wants to have fun, but she's a ginger

    • @myleemontag1690
      @myleemontag1690 3 года назад +5

      I LITERALLY CAN'T- DON'T OFFEND MY GIRL LIKE THAT😭😭😭

    • @reirei135
      @reirei135 3 года назад +5

      @@myleemontag1690 AM I WRONG? LOOK ME IN THE FACE AND TELL ME I'M WRONG

  • @kellynch
    @kellynch 2 года назад +57

    Les Miserables - a man steals a loaf of bread & is persecuted for the rest of his life.

  • @BanksterSlayer
    @BanksterSlayer 3 года назад +207

    Kyle: please do another video and read ALL of them

    • @natura808
      @natura808 3 года назад +10

      We need all 73!!! Please!

    • @mewregaurdhissyfit7733
      @mewregaurdhissyfit7733 3 года назад +7

      And others!!! You guys should take this on and do an entire line for one liner book critiques!!!

    • @uekiguy5886
      @uekiguy5886 3 года назад +4

      And keep the camera on that girl.

    • @pennylouise3454
      @pennylouise3454 2 года назад +1

      Please do

    • @angelswings1219
      @angelswings1219 2 года назад +1

      and please included these comments

  • @VolvoImpala
    @VolvoImpala 3 года назад +134

    I liked the Don Quixote title the best.

  • @redneckgoatfarmer
    @redneckgoatfarmer 3 года назад +136

    Kafka, The Trial: A German’s endless and surrealistic struggle with the NYC DMV after having his car towed.

    • @jodypalm303
      @jodypalm303 7 месяцев назад

      LMAO!

    • @kevinkelleher8708
      @kevinkelleher8708 7 месяцев назад

      @redneckgoatfarmer DMV in NY "WILL" rip you off having waited in line for hours on end but they only stand behind a counter, tow that's kinda like "work" isn't it?

  • @Rekaert
    @Rekaert 2 года назад +88

    Lord of the Rings: Hikers smuggle stolen property across border to return it.

  • @taristazin2073
    @taristazin2073 11 месяцев назад +52

    Orwell's 1984: Sorry, we're running about 40 years behind.

    • @suran396
      @suran396 7 месяцев назад +2

      Yep! 😂😂😂

  • @electrifiedspam
    @electrifiedspam 2 года назад +276

    You can sum up Russian history in one sentence: and then it got worse.

    • @42kellys
      @42kellys Год назад +9

      LOL Chris: I guess, that would squarely sum up Hungarian history too. And modern day history is: it is still getting worse and worse.

    • @yamato0965
      @yamato0965 Год назад +15

      ... and it was very cold.

    • @pavelpolyakov5763
      @pavelpolyakov5763 Год назад

      It just shows how brainwashed Anglo-world is about Russia. Russophobia is your favorite past time only to alleviate the misery all Angloscum constantly are mired in.

    • @factfiend1000
      @factfiend1000 Год назад

      Chinese history: Man tripped and billions died.

    • @tereseshaw7650
      @tereseshaw7650 Год назад +2

      Brilliant.

  • @Yeetypete
    @Yeetypete 2 года назад +240

    Romeo and Juliet: in-laws ruin a potentially successful marriage

    • @chanilerner6410
      @chanilerner6410 2 года назад +4

      Great one!!

    • @Yeetypete
      @Yeetypete 2 года назад +20

      Animal farm: metaphorical tyrannical pig has his farm taken over by actual tyrannical pig

    • @tell-me-a-story-
      @tell-me-a-story- Год назад +9

      Romeo and Juliet; "Four dead teenagers later..."

    • @glaceRaven
      @glaceRaven Год назад +13

      My high school Shakespeare teacher summed it up in four words when telling us why it wasn't in the curriculum: "Hormonal Teenagers: The Play"

    • @engmed4400
      @engmed4400 Год назад +6

      Romeo & Juliet: The Idiocy of Young Love

  • @sigeberhtmercia767
    @sigeberhtmercia767 3 года назад +182

    Monty Python's take on War and Peace: Story of a man named Peter who tried to kill Napoleon and didn't.

    • @lynnenolte1538
      @lynnenolte1538 Год назад +4

      My entry for the all England Proust summarizing contest - a man eats a cookie and remembers his whole life.

    • @Phase52012
      @Phase52012 Год назад +2

      That's from "Hello Cheeky" if I recall correctly. Which starred Tim Brooke-Taylor who was almost in Monty Python.

    • @sigeberhtmercia767
      @sigeberhtmercia767 Год назад

      @@Phase52012 That name takes me back. I loved the series The Goodies.
      I understand he also co-wrote the Four Yorkshiremen amongst other achievements.
      A real talent.

  • @ursusthewhite9824
    @ursusthewhite9824 3 года назад +124

    Coriolanus: I’ll be back
    Macbeth: watch out for the trees
    Hamlet: You had one job but blew it
    Romeo and Juliet:Family feud Verona style
    Henry V: Fun at Agincourt
    Richard III: man can’t find horse
    Brave New World: Praise the Ford and pass the Soma
    Gone with the Wind: Southerners give a dang
    War of the Worlds: Marvin the Martian contracts whu flu
    The Odyssey: never piss off Poseidon

    • @natura808
      @natura808 3 года назад +1

      I’m waiting for more, please.

    • @ursusthewhite9824
      @ursusthewhite9824 3 года назад +14

      @@natura808 The Tempest: Come Mr Caliban tally me a sonnet
      Titus Andronicus: Where’s the ground beef? Oh, never mind.🤢
      2001 Space Odyssey: Hal and his monolisp
      Water ship Down: Kill da Wabbit! kill da Wabbit!
      Julius Caesar: Don’t go the forum tonight, it’s bound to take your life

    • @veronica_._._._
      @veronica_._._._ 3 года назад +1

      @@ursusthewhite9824 l read the 1st line of the Calypso as "Come Mr Taliban",
      dyslexia brings me so much joy,
      those jokes on jokes were sublime btw

    • @ursusthewhite9824
      @ursusthewhite9824 3 года назад +3

      @@veronica_._._._ If smile it made thou do, then the world is a little less blue.

    • @ursusthewhite9824
      @ursusthewhite9824 3 года назад +9

      @@natura808 The Illiad: if you fail, Troy and troy again. The Odyssey: Never piss off Poseidon.

  • @mikekolokowsky
    @mikekolokowsky Год назад +47

    Every Jack Reacher novel: Very large man punches his way through small town with corrupt underworld; leaves.

    • @dvldog_
      @dvldog_ 11 месяцев назад +4

      You're not wrong, but somehow Lee Childs still makes it work! 😁

    • @RobGrognerd
      @RobGrognerd 10 месяцев назад

      wish Season 2 stuck with that

    • @francisross4228
      @francisross4228 9 месяцев назад +2

      Wouldn’t that be large Hobo. At least, that was how Reacher discribed himself in first season.

  • @handynothandsome261
    @handynothandsome261 3 года назад +99

    “Brave New World”: Gives ‘baby bottles’ a whole new meaning.

    • @technic1285
      @technic1285 3 года назад +3

      Brave New World: Google ruined orgies.

    • @johnmcguire4635
      @johnmcguire4635 Год назад

      The one person who mentions BNW rather than 1984 and it's not even about how we're living it. What basic suburban posers we all are here LOL

    • @tereseshaw7650
      @tereseshaw7650 Год назад +1

      The "Iliad": Man gets girl. Man loses girl. Troy burns.

  • @baggins4354
    @baggins4354 Год назад +133

    Had a college roommate in the early 80s who had to read 3 by Flannery O'Conner. He read mostly fantasy and sci-fi like me. He would be reading quietly, then just scream in anguish and throw the book into the opposite wall. A day or so later he would pick it up and try again. Finally, he just started tearing the pages out as he read them, so "No one else will have to suffer through this book as it will end it's life when I finish it finally."

    • @mrross3222
      @mrross3222 Год назад +4

      O'Connor is a great author, don't know what was up with your roommate.

    • @jockellis
      @jockellis Год назад +1

      We went to Flannery’s farm. I really loved the farm equipment.

    • @bite-sizedshorts9635
      @bite-sizedshorts9635 Год назад +4

      Back in the 60s, a local DJ played "I Was Born Under a Wandering Star" by Lee Marvin. He said that was the worst record he'd ever heard and broke the 45 in half on the air so no one else could every play it again.

    • @willymakeit5172
      @willymakeit5172 11 месяцев назад

      @@bite-sizedshorts9635I love that song!

    • @mikeball6182
      @mikeball6182 10 месяцев назад +1

      @@bite-sizedshorts9635 45's were made of vinyl and unbreakable. Urban missed.

  • @grondhero
    @grondhero 3 года назад +255

    Having read "Crime and Punishment," I can confirm that's a pretty accurate one-sentence summary.

    • @gueropalma6649
      @gueropalma6649 2 года назад +10

      Honored sir, my experience would admonish me that you are correct.

    • @Tatiana_Palii
      @Tatiana_Palii Год назад +6

      Not really, there are no peasants in C&P

    • @seanLee-sk2mi
      @seanLee-sk2mi Год назад

      I don't understand what they laugh about, is that me being too shallow?

    • @baw112684
      @baw112684 10 месяцев назад +1

      This has been one of my favorite books forever, and this is hysterically spot on.

  • @tchoupitoulos
    @tchoupitoulos 3 года назад +92

    Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Creepy candy man lures children into house of traps, tormenting and maiming all but one, who he adopts.

    • @OcarinaSapphr-
      @OcarinaSapphr- 3 года назад +7

      Honest Trailers has gone downhill a fair bit, but I liked the ‘Charlie & the Chocolate Factory’ one: “SAW- for Kids!”

    • @whitworth5s248
      @whitworth5s248 2 года назад +6

      The original elimination style competition reality show.

    • @JaneAustenAteMyCat
      @JaneAustenAteMyCat 9 месяцев назад

      I never quite understood the attraction of this book. It's incredibly creepy!

    • @tchoupitoulos
      @tchoupitoulos 9 месяцев назад +1

      @@JaneAustenAteMyCat How old were you when you read it?

  • @Mark-cd2wf
    @Mark-cd2wf 3 года назад +165

    The Wizard of Oz: America invades foreign country, kills local leadership, seeks exit strategy.
    The Empire Strikes Back (a movie, I know): Deadbeat dad tries to get son to join family business.

    • @daisyviluck7932
      @daisyviluck7932 3 года назад +34

      The Wizard Of Oz: three women fighting over a pair of shoes

    • @HandGrenadeDivision
      @HandGrenadeDivision 3 года назад +2

      ESB has a novelization, so it works.

    • @ashemgold
      @ashemgold 3 года назад +1

      Hey, I think you've got the gift! I look forward to your movie and book review career. Most reviews are too long & boring for me.

    • @Mark-cd2wf
      @Mark-cd2wf 3 года назад +1

      @@ashemgold wish I could take credit for the above, but I just remember reading it somewhere.
      If you want a truly legendary movie critic, check out The Critical Drinker on RUclips. He’s brilliant and _very_ funny.🤣

    • @ashemgold
      @ashemgold 3 года назад +1

      @@Mark-cd2wf I listen to his #shots. Classic.

  • @Rosefire
    @Rosefire Год назад +29

    The Jungle Book - Snarky kid vs. talking animals
    Northanger Abbey - Bath has vampires too
    Anne of Green Gables - Accidental redhead tries to fit in
    Treasure Island - Guns, gold, and a one-legged man
    Huck Finn - Runaways on a wet road trip
    Hound of the Baskervilles - Beware the moor (and the hound)
    The Maltese Falcon - Men and woman seek mythical bird
    Emma - Matchmaking stinks
    Jane Eyre - Governess and aristocrat share relationship problems
    Captain's Courageous - Spoiled brat mans up on a fishing boat
    Death of a Salesman - Salesman dies
    Chronicles of Narnia - Kids on trek to find the Lion King
    A Christmas Carol - One grouch, three ghosts, and a Christmas pudding
    Macbeth - Wackadoodle Scottish warlord dies
    Hamlet - Emo Danish prince (and everyone else) dies
    King Lear - Mad British king (and daughter) dies
    Richard III - Hunchback British king dies (horse lives)
    Antony and Cleopatra - Egyptian queen and Roman general die (snake lives)
    Much Ado About Nothing -Nice girl gets framed while snarky girl gets pranked
    Twelfth Night - Crossdressing girl fails at matchmaking
    As You Like It - Crossdressing girl fails at matchmaking and everyone runs into the woods to frolic
    A Midsummer Night's Dream - Everyone runs into the woods to frolic (including an ass-headed man)

    • @_Peremalfait
      @_Peremalfait 11 месяцев назад +2

      Your Emma was spot on.

    • @jodypalm303
      @jodypalm303 7 месяцев назад

      These are great!!

  • @lindaj5492
    @lindaj5492 10 месяцев назад +12

    Kafka’s Metamorphosis: Salesman has a really bad trip.

  • @KW-gb9cd
    @KW-gb9cd Год назад +23

    Alice in Wonderland: Drugs are bad.
    Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: Drugs are REALLY bad.
    Moby Dick: Get a life, Ahab!

    • @priscillajimenez27
      @priscillajimenez27 5 месяцев назад

      Good PSA right there
      Romeo and Juliet: Not me Not now

  • @trmlesq1321
    @trmlesq1321 3 года назад +181

    As a native Russian speaker- his take on Dostoevsky and Tolstoy, my least fave of his is Anna Karenina, are quite funny and true

    • @gueropalma6649
      @gueropalma6649 2 года назад +9

      Honored sir! I wish I could read crime and punishment in Russian. I wonder how much I really missed in translation. Still a wonderfully worded book in English, as my experience admonishes me.

    • @СветланаЧижова-к9м
      @СветланаЧижова-к9м Год назад +2

      as a native Russian speaker I can say every Russian classic novel is about feeling emotional pain and trying to do anything and everything to make it stop.

    • @volgabus_forever
      @volgabus_forever Год назад

      No

  • @Rockhound6165
    @Rockhound6165 3 года назад +538

    Paradise Lost: I saw Satan laughing with delight.
    Dr. Zhivago: Drunks, death...I give up.
    Animal Farm: A step by step guide to the Democrat Party.

    • @rebeccap6878
      @rebeccap6878 3 года назад +5

      The Dr. Zhivago one...🤣🤣🤣

    • @Mark-cd2wf
      @Mark-cd2wf 3 года назад +34

      John Milton got married and wrote _Paradise Lost._
      Then his wife died and he wrote _Paradise Regained._

    • @joshuakarr-BibleMan
      @joshuakarr-BibleMan 2 года назад +4

      The Sun also Rises: Don't go running with the bulls.

    • @bndergltd3053
      @bndergltd3053 Год назад +15

      The Handmaid’s Tale: a step by step guide to the Republican Party.

    • @Bear78420
      @Bear78420 Год назад

      The fact that you’re so dumb you don’t even understand animal farm shouldn’t surprise me but it’s very disappointing. Idiot

  • @fanooch1
    @fanooch1 3 года назад +98

    Farewell to Arms: Bad sawmill accident.

    • @rickraber1249
      @rickraber1249 3 года назад +6

      Should have listened to his shop teacher.

    • @lifetodamax
      @lifetodamax 3 года назад +5

      Lol! That sounds more interesting than it actually is

    • @alanjm1234
      @alanjm1234 3 года назад +3

      Made me LOL!

    • @ashemgold
      @ashemgold 3 года назад

      Bwahaha... I see what you did there.

    • @Mark-cd2wf
      @Mark-cd2wf 3 года назад +2

      Actual headline before the first Gulf War:
      Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

  • @_Peremalfait
    @_Peremalfait 3 года назад +35

    Moby Dick: Fishing excursion goes awry.

  • @bx22able
    @bx22able 3 года назад +102

    Lord of the Flies:
    Boys will be boys, or unholy demons.
    Of Mice and Men:
    Sometimes you just want to pet some "rabbits" 😉
    A Song of Ice and Fire:
    Some families don't like each other.
    John Dies at the End:
    John doesn't die at the end.
    Forrest Gump:
    Dumb guy does everything better than you.

    • @rorifrongillo6763
      @rorifrongillo6763 Год назад +3

      Your summaries are my favorites, but especially Lord of the Flies! 🤣👏👏👏

    • @emilyreads5207
      @emilyreads5207 Год назад +2

      ASOIAF- you need to add, and some families love each other too much

    • @JayCaesar
      @JayCaesar 9 месяцев назад +1

      Ok, Jenny, and I'll raise the Aids baybay

  • @cinkidaz
    @cinkidaz 3 года назад +51

    Ayn Rand - Atlas Shrugged: You think it sucks now, just wait.

  • @vociferon-heraldofthewinte7763
    @vociferon-heraldofthewinte7763 Год назад +16

    Les Miserables - Frenchman steals loaf of bread, never hears the end of it.

  • @freedomforever6718
    @freedomforever6718 3 года назад +113

    A man of few words can be a good thing.

    • @austinpresley6187
      @austinpresley6187 3 года назад +12

      And a woman even better.
      I shouldn't have said that, but I had to. 😁

    • @jamesflynn4741
      @jamesflynn4741 3 года назад +1

      I’m a man of few words... and fewer thoughts X^\

    • @freedomforever6718
      @freedomforever6718 3 года назад +1

      @@jamesflynn4741 ,
      Your's is a thoughtless reply.

    • @B.Huntley_Sharpe
      @B.Huntley_Sharpe 3 года назад +9

      Titanic movie summary: Boy meets girl, ship meets iceberg.

    • @jamesflynn4741
      @jamesflynn4741 3 года назад

      @@freedomforever6718 i have nothing to say to that

  • @patrickstewart3446
    @patrickstewart3446 3 года назад +96

    Swann’s Way - Proust: So many words, so little to say.
    He would’ve actually won that Summerize Proust competition on Monty Python.
    😁

  • @PhilJonesIII
    @PhilJonesIII 3 года назад +31

    Romeo and Juliette: Five days, six dead.

  • @amberg3893
    @amberg3893 Год назад +18

    Hamlet: Man opposes his mother's remarriage and everyone dies.

  • @jimreiter2648
    @jimreiter2648 3 года назад +89

    Brevity is the soul of a good RUclips video...

  • @mewregaurdhissyfit7733
    @mewregaurdhissyfit7733 3 года назад +29

    I agree with Kyle..........this man would have been a HUGE favorite as a book critic!!

  • @changer_of_ways_999
    @changer_of_ways_999 3 года назад +365

    The Scarlet Letter: What it feels like to wear a Maga hat

    • @janetprice85
      @janetprice85 2 года назад +28

      Too true...and the Puritans are the Squad

    • @shellyolds7985
      @shellyolds7985 2 года назад +13

      This is perfect.

    • @skirtonbear1
      @skirtonbear1 2 года назад +14

      Perfection!

    • @mikekolokowsky
      @mikekolokowsky Год назад

      @@janetprice85 Yeah, Christians are so persecuted in this country. If a politician openly advocates for a national religion in direct violation of the First Amendment, those nasty libs point out that a national religion violates the First Amendment. America needs a state religion to be great, like Iran, ISIS and the Taliban do. I long for a time when Christians can be president, or maybe even forty six consecutive presidents. Oh, but that “squad”...

    • @aisforairborne
      @aisforairborne Год назад

      Bump

  • @anonygent
    @anonygent 3 года назад +66

    Moby Dick: Just read the last chapter, it's the only part anyone remembers anyway.

    • @horrificpleasantry9474
      @horrificpleasantry9474 3 года назад +3

      I only know the first line

    • @anonygent
      @anonygent 3 года назад +6

      @@horrificpleasantry9474 Do you know Khan's speech in Star Trek II when he sets off the Genesis device? It's Ahab's speech to the whale in the last chapter of Moby Dick.

    • @Rockhound6165
      @Rockhound6165 3 года назад +5

      Wait, Ishmael spending the night sleeping with Queequeg slipped your mind?

    • @anonygent
      @anonygent 3 года назад +2

      @@Rockhound6165 Yes. I remember the scene with Orson Welles climbing the rope ladder to give a sermon from the bow end of a ship stuck out from a wall from the movie but didn't remember that scene from the book. It was only on the second reading that I remembered the 2nd mate's name was Starbuck.

    • @narnia1233
      @narnia1233 3 года назад +5

      Moby Dick was a difficult book to read just because of the length. I honestly don’t remember any of it. I guess it must have been boring for me.
      But the books I really disliked was ‘Old Man and the Sea’ and ‘A Portrait of a Young Artist.’
      Old Man and the Sea was so short but felt like eternity. There were literally pages just describing an ache in the guy’s hand.
      The Portrait of a Young Artist, was just so pretentious and the main character a complete jerk. It’s still the book I dislike the most. My high school English teacher literally told us that if anyone could understand this book they’re a genius because no one knows what he’s talking about. I hate that so much because it’s bs. The whole point of writing a book is to tell others something. There’s no point in writing gibberish no one else can understand and maybe just shows the author has a psychosis. Anytime in the book you could understand him the main character was the most woe is me and just cruel to everyone (even those who were being bullied right after he had been bullied) and thought he was better than everyone else too.
      I didn’t know anything about the author when reading the book but apparently James Joyce was an unpleasant person similar to the fictional character in his novel. It just makes me sad that someone like that was being revered. When there’s so many really great books out there.

  • @edgreen2660
    @edgreen2660 2 года назад +18

    Atlas Shrugged: Woman tries to keep America from going to crap. America goes to crap.

  • @EverettBurger
    @EverettBurger 3 года назад +22

    The Great Gatsby: Hey look at these rich people; they have problems too.

  • @Peter_Morris
    @Peter_Morris 3 года назад +77

    I read Brothers Karamozov a while back with a reading group. My wife hated it but I felt like I’d accomplished something in life by getting all the way through and remembering what had happened.

    • @madwhitehare3635
      @madwhitehare3635 2 года назад +7

      😆 That’s the hard bit…..remembering what happened!

    • @aspirecan4829
      @aspirecan4829 2 года назад +2

      I'm seriously impressed! I couldn't even get through 15 minutes of the movie!

    • @gavinhill3164
      @gavinhill3164 Год назад +4

      You're obviously a better man then I, mine was relegated to keeping a door proped open after my 3rd attempt

    • @larsord9139
      @larsord9139 Год назад +4

      I read it and still have no idea what happened.

    • @ravenzyblack
      @ravenzyblack Год назад +1

      I listened to the audiobook. I have yet to read it.

  • @tchoupitoulos
    @tchoupitoulos 3 года назад +35

    The Godfather: Unlikely youngest son inherits the family business, must prove himself against hostile takeover bid.

  • @robtinkham1663
    @robtinkham1663 2 года назад +13

    I so look forward to my approaching retirement so I will have time to kick back a read all the classic Cliff Notes.

  • @cekalble
    @cekalble Год назад +9

    This young lady was blessed to have a father like him.

  • @317GUY
    @317GUY Год назад +35

    The shining: never bring your family to work

  • @loumencken9644
    @loumencken9644 3 года назад +144

    He makes a great point about Frankenstein. The monster was made out of parts from dead bodies, so the reason people hated him was because he had the worst B.O. ever.

    • @travissmith2211
      @travissmith2211 3 года назад +7

      Too bad it was before cabbies. He would've fit in perfectly.

    • @moretac
      @moretac Год назад +2

      A great book though. The only of these classics that I have read

    • @gibsonduvall
      @gibsonduvall Год назад

      Loumem: Thanks for pointing that out, I didn't realise that's what this fella meant with his one sentence review🙄.
      Also, good effort on patronising the vast majority on here 👍.

    • @davidrodgersNJ
      @davidrodgersNJ 11 месяцев назад

      How to make a friend

    • @grittykitty50
      @grittykitty50 9 месяцев назад

      Oh, so they did'nt mind him killing the child or being UNDEAD??!!

  • @beaufarmer5813
    @beaufarmer5813 3 года назад +35

    This should be done every week!

  • @labibbidabibbadum
    @labibbidabibbadum Год назад +33

    This was gorgeous.
    Ok, I'm going to hit you with the best movie review that has ever been written.
    The movie was Showgirls.
    The review:
    "Poles haven't been treated this badly since World War Two."

    • @engmed4400
      @engmed4400 Год назад +5

      Whoever said that is a genius!!!🤣

    • @carly4513
      @carly4513 Год назад +5

      I read a great review of the movie Dumb and Dumber - 'first time the entire movie is described in the title"

  • @mikeball6182
    @mikeball6182 10 месяцев назад +10

    Hamlet, from Ophelia's perspective, according to The Reduced Shakespeare Company: "Cut the crap, Hamlet. My biological clock is ticking and I want babies NOW!!"

  • @whitworth5s248
    @whitworth5s248 2 года назад +54

    Last of the Mohicans - Hero covers himself in a rug, convinces literally everyone that he's a talking bear.

    • @MaryJones-rx3my
      @MaryJones-rx3my 8 месяцев назад

      lol

    • @maya_unplugged
      @maya_unplugged 6 месяцев назад

      Oh, now I see. The woke cult ist a modern adaptation. Except, nobody is convinced yet.

  • @charlesajones77
    @charlesajones77 Год назад +29

    Gulliver's Travels: Tiny people, giant people, talking horses... all better than living in England.

    • @dragon-ed1hz
      @dragon-ed1hz 10 месяцев назад +1

      A Modest Proposal: The Swift Diet

  • @TheBabylonBee
    @TheBabylonBee  3 года назад +31

    Here is a link to the full list: ericalynnrhodes.medium.com/deans-list-5a336b5fff38

    • @HamnimationStudios
      @HamnimationStudios Год назад

      Thank you!

    • @bite-sizedshorts9635
      @bite-sizedshorts9635 Год назад +4

      Not much of a list if you have to jump through hoops to see it.

    • @jq8974
      @jq8974 Год назад

      THANK YOU!

    • @AFAskygoddess
      @AFAskygoddess 10 месяцев назад +1

      You have to create an account to read the whole story. Big pass on that.

    • @andrewbouse8968
      @andrewbouse8968 9 месяцев назад

      @@AFAskygoddess account was free, but I just copied it all onto a google doc
      docs.google.com/document/d/1fzMxjy25CJQkT1LSFqahPAuyA4HZRJUdD7WFwIIYHf0/edit?usp=sharing

  • @violahamilton782
    @violahamilton782 Год назад +9

    As a high school senior, I wrote one-line book reviews, or sometimes two-liners. My very tolerant English teacher finally required more words, but I never thought they were more meaningful.

  • @BillPurkayastha
    @BillPurkayastha Год назад +8

    Don Quixote:
    Wind power is stronger than fantasy power.

  • @lefuedebout
    @lefuedebout 3 года назад +25

    Another one-liner about Crime and Punishment I heard some years ago. " Uptight student axes two"

    • @thecrypt5823
      @thecrypt5823 2 года назад

      Incisive and concise, in the full Latin sense 🗡

  • @kjaubrey4816
    @kjaubrey4816 2 года назад +34

    Her dad was hilarious and she is just adorable. I would love to see her participate in some of your skits.

  • @robertlaw4073
    @robertlaw4073 2 года назад +44

    There was aired on TV something similar - a 2-3 sentence synopsis - for every famous opera every written. It was actually pretty hilarious, because it was something of a running gag every time there was an ending where the heroine threw herself to her death.

    • @jodypalm303
      @jodypalm303 7 месяцев назад

      Would love to hear that list!

  • @Grizzlox
    @Grizzlox 2 года назад +14

    The Time Machine: You think we're polarized NOW? Just wait.

  • @xenomorph6599
    @xenomorph6599 2 года назад +32

    Romeo and Juliet (Spoiler Free) - Teenagers were always just as stupid as they are now

  • @geedubb-q1u
    @geedubb-q1u 2 года назад +81

    A million times funnier than Every late night talk show

    • @johnmcguire4635
      @johnmcguire4635 Год назад +1

      Calm down, don't go all suburban snob on us. Just . . . appreciate what is.

    • @johnmcguire4422
      @johnmcguire4422 10 месяцев назад

      Got a little nerve pain there?

  • @CEAsfg
    @CEAsfg Год назад +5

    Matilda: Little girl taps into her trauma from familial abuse and learns the force is strong with her.
    Harry Potter: Boy takes up magic to defend himself from his family and a bald guy who wants to kill him.
    The Fault in Our Stars: Cancer never made a teenage girl thirstier for a fellow invalid before.
    Lord of the Flies: Naked and Afraid with little boys.
    To Kill A Mockingbird: Tomboy learns about the racial injustices of her time.
    Twilight: Weirdly pale girl from Arizona has to choose between a reclusive goth or a dog.
    The Hunger Games: Rich people make the poor people kill each other, so a young woman finds a loophole by shipping herself with a baker.

  • @CornerTalker
    @CornerTalker 2 года назад +7

    Crime and Punishment - an ax murder is followed by four dozen drawing room discussions.

  • @Anthony_Marquis
    @Anthony_Marquis 2 года назад +7

    Jurassic Park: (Crichton) Pet lizards turn on owner.
    Andromeda Strain: (Crichton) COVID, as portrayed by the mainstream media.
    The Sphere: (Crichton) Visualization is key to manifestation.

  • @SJM6791
    @SJM6791 3 года назад +10

    This woman is extremely attractive in every way. Physically appealing with an amazing personality.

  • @jeffc5974
    @jeffc5974 3 года назад +19

    Catch 22: Irony makes everything impossible.

  • @savedbygrace1582
    @savedbygrace1582 2 года назад +25

    She's very charming. I'm sure she took after her father.

  • @rickwiggins283
    @rickwiggins283 2 года назад +50

    'Great Expectations' is my most challenging read yet. Story is so basic for such a long novel, but at least I learned about life in England and London around that time. Next up: 'Gulag Archipelago Book 1'.

    • @RichardSouth
      @RichardSouth 2 года назад +9

      I did wonder if Dickens was paid by the word with characters such as "Mrs Whopsle's Great Aunt's Granddaughter" who could just as easily been "His niece" - it just draaaaaags and has whole chapters that are irrelevant. (Had to read it for GCSE) - Also Pip is a d**khead.

    • @hazeltulip
      @hazeltulip Год назад +6

      @@RichardSouth yes, most of his writing was released as serials in newspapers

    • @777LoveStory
      @777LoveStory Год назад +3

      "That's twenty year of our lives we'll never get back." For Pip and everyone who reads it!

    • @shazamshazamshazam696
      @shazamshazamshazam696 Год назад +1

      I actually found Gulag interesting and compelling but I was curious about Russia at the time.

    • @craigoren4475
      @craigoren4475 Год назад +1

      The best comment I ever heard about Great Expectations? "What that book needs is more coincidences."

  • @squishmastah4682
    @squishmastah4682 Год назад +17

    The entire Xanth series: An author tries to transcribe a fabulous fever dream he once had aided only by a dartboard, pages from a thesaurus, and ample doses of psychedelics. (In theory)

    • @Ritercrazy
      @Ritercrazy 9 месяцев назад

      I wonder in which book Anthony wrote about his thinking about teenage girls' bodies?

  • @jebstuart62063
    @jebstuart62063 3 года назад +42

    A Tale of Two Cities: Almost nothing happens and then a guy gets his head chopped off--the end.

    • @StephensCrazyHour
      @StephensCrazyHour 2 года назад

      You forgot the 182 trials the main character got put on.

    • @MasqueradeCrew
      @MasqueradeCrew 2 года назад

      23

    • @nicoleackerman205
      @nicoleackerman205 2 года назад

      A Tale of Two Cites: How to get yourself killed in 12 easy steps.

    • @wartgin
      @wartgin Год назад +2

      It has such great opening and ending sentences but I was very disappointed in the middle.

  • @thejils1669
    @thejils1669 Год назад +4

    The Count of Monte Cristo: "A wrongfully imprisoned man escapes, amasses wealth, and tries to exact revenge on those responsible for his earlier plight...then he returns home to concoct a brand new sandwich."

  • @michaelharris2178
    @michaelharris2178 2 года назад +12

    Frankenstein: When Man's hubris exceeds Man's limits.

  • @Radnick0024
    @Radnick0024 Год назад +6

    from her blog:
    War of the Worlds - H.G. Wells: After interstellar strategic planning, Mars tries to conquer world by invading the island of England.

  • @faithworks217
    @faithworks217 Год назад +10

    When my son was fifteen, the movie Sense and Sensibility was featured on $2.00 Tuesdays in our town. I thought to myself, "Andrew would probably like that name." He has Aspergers and I figured the balance in the name would appeal to him. I asked him if he'd heard of that movie. He said yes. To my great surprise, told me he went to see it at the local theatre. What? A fifteen year old boy went to see a Regency romance? I asked him, "What did you think of it?" He said, "It was hurtin'."
    Lol! I am sure that he didn't know what the movie was about when he went to see it. I was right. He liked the name. I guess he sat through it because he paid to see it. I saw it, too, but I liked it.

    • @katyvdb5993
      @katyvdb5993 Год назад +5

      I'm delighted that you enjoyed it and that your son gave it a shot. But please, please not a 'Regency Romance'! 🙏Jane Austen wrote novels of manners, with a good deal of satire and some very serious moral thought.

  • @joejoejoejoejoejoe4391
    @joejoejoejoejoejoe4391 3 года назад +28

    Every romantic novel - woman marries rich man
    Machiavelli the prince - show you can fight, and you may never have to.

  • @bruanlokisson8615
    @bruanlokisson8615 2 года назад +11

    Cannery row, The tribulations of planning a surprise birthday party.

  • @dannyray5544
    @dannyray5544 2 года назад +30

    Erica Rhodes, the woman the song,"just to see you smile", was written for. What a beautiful woman.

  • @maximecomeau-gauthier4722
    @maximecomeau-gauthier4722 Год назад +6

    Brave new world : its not about being happy, its about being content

    • @josepherhardt164
      @josepherhardt164 10 месяцев назад

      My take: Brave New World: Author tries to discredit dystopian idea and fails.

  • @seaknightvirchow8131
    @seaknightvirchow8131 2 года назад +14

    Her father was hilarious. This is really good stuff.

  • @georgefitzhugh5408
    @georgefitzhugh5408 Год назад +7

    "The only thing he could do is read . . ." A one sentence summary of the intellectual, from the perspective of the post-modern man and woman.

  • @tticusFinch
    @tticusFinch Год назад +18

    Les Miserables: no one can be happy for long, including the reader whilst reading this book

  • @gueropalma6649
    @gueropalma6649 2 года назад +31

    Fight club: Stop hitting yourself!

  • @jonahlange7898
    @jonahlange7898 Год назад +22

    This video made me want to read more of those books so I could understand the jokes 😂

  • @kernalkorn1514
    @kernalkorn1514 3 года назад +239

    1984 - Woke person's instruction manual.

    • @RasaCartaMagna
      @RasaCartaMagna 3 года назад +20

      Now if only you could get them to read it... Pretty certain the average woke person's attention span is attenuated to the Twitter post character limit.

    • @DBlanco48
      @DBlanco48 2 года назад +1

      @@RasaCartaMagna hahahha

    • @ernsttrekiew198
      @ernsttrekiew198 2 года назад +3

      Anything written by Sharpton or Jackson: "You owes, us, Whitey. You rayciss."

    • @johnmcguire4635
      @johnmcguire4635 Год назад

      You actually mean Brave New World there sport

    • @carly4513
      @carly4513 Год назад +1

      That is really good.

  • @alpyki2588
    @alpyki2588 3 года назад +12

    Phantom of the Opera: Girl with an IQ roughly above room temp water mistakes a musically inclined, simping lich for a divinely sent tutor.

    • @captain-poppleton
      @captain-poppleton 6 месяцев назад

      god that stage show was overhyped and tedious

    • @alpyki2588
      @alpyki2588 6 месяцев назад

      @@captain-poppleton Do you mean the Andrew Lloyd Webber one I assume? Too much spectacle for me. Also half face deformity is lame.

  • @joeavent5554
    @joeavent5554 3 года назад +14

    "All Quite on the Western Front:" don't reach for butterflies on the last day of the war...