What's It Like Raising Kids in Germany? w/
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- Опубликовано: 16 сен 2024
- What's it like raising kids in Germany compared to the US? Sara, Kevin, and their four kids from @MyMerryMessyGermanLife moved from Atlanta, Georgia to a small town in the South of Germany at the beginning of 2021 and have had a lot of experience with this topic. Since I don't have kids myself, I wanted to know from them how their everyday life as a family has changed in Germany, what they think of the parenting style, and how their experience with the German school system has been so far. Thanks so much for collaborating with me!
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ABOUT ME: Hallo, Servus, and welcome to my channel! My name is Felicia (Feli), I'm 28, and I'm a German living in the USA! I was born and raised in Munich, Germany but have been living in Cincinnati, Ohio off and on since 2016. I first came here for an exchange semester during my undergrad at LMU Munich, then I returned for an internship, and then I got my master's degree in Cincinnati. I was lucky enough to win the Green Card lottery and have been a permanent resident since 2019! In my videos, I talk about cultural differences between America and Germany, things I like and dislike about living here, and other topics I come across in my everyday life in the States. Let me know what YOU would like to hear about in the comments below. DANKE :)
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Make sure you also check out the video we did over on "My Merry Messy Life" about drinking culture in Germany vs. the US! ▸ruclips.net/video/TjV2THw_r5E/видео.html
By the way, the conversation went on for much longer than what you're seeing here, I actually cut out a whole topic because I was thinking to publish that separately. It's about how American and German parents deal with their kids' first girlfriends/boyfriends as well as sex education. Is that a topic you guys are interested in? 🤔😊
Yeah. It sounds interesting. If they come from Georgia, there'll be some differences with Germany for sure, especially with regard to sex education.
What about ding dong ditching
@Feli From Germany why did you skip Verona,Italy
Surely interested!
Guten Tag. My apologies for not seeing your video sooner but I've been rather busy. Anyway, pursuant to our previous conversations, I have 2 simple, yet pointed, questions for you. #1) Now that the Democrats have blown up your pipeline has it dawned upon you yet precisely why the American populace will NEVER disarm?? #2) It's been 77 years since the Democrats have bombed Germany, did you actually think you would go an entire Century before the Democrats bombed your country's infrastructure again??
By all means, take your time, but please don't intellectually embarass yourself with some denial B.S., it's unbecoming of a grown adult.
Ok. I'm a teacher (in Germany, formerly in the UK) and as to how to treat the kids: the disparity is mostly down to parents expecting their kids to be dealt with as individuals, as they are at home. But in a classroom there are between 25 and 35 of them and group mentality (especially when teens) soon takes over. Fact is, within a large group, amongst peers, kids act very different from how they do at home. And parents neither see nor know this. Plus, in just 45 minutes, we do not have the time to deal with each kid on an individual, personal basis. If we had more funding and more teachers, we would, but that is not the reality. And after two decades in the job I can honestly say: If you are too soft, they will eat you alive ;) And especially the timid, shy students suffer when the misbehaved ones disrupt the lessons and play power games.
Feli: "Thank you for this really long conversation."
Me: I thought that it just had started. This could go on for another hour. So interesting!
Agree 😀
Great conversation. I have really loved it
Our elementery school is very warm and cosy and they use great methods to encourage the kids and help them with their issues. I'm glad that we have nice and educated teachers. We live in a small village in Baden-Württemberg. Our kids can walk and ride on their bikes in the whole village, visit their friends on their own and so on, like my husband and I used to do that when we were kids. The independence of kids, especially in smaller towns and villages in Germany is great.
In Switzerland, kindergarten is compulsory. The children start between 4 and 5 years. They sing, draw, do crafts and play. They learn social behavior and sometimes to sit still. It is a preparation for school enrolment. After a few weeks, they go and go home on their own.
Same in Australia
Honestly I'm American I never knew anyone who didn't enroll in Kindergarten? School systems do vary by state but I never understood it not to be compulsory
I was brought up in Germany in the 1970s. We walked 15 minutes to kindergarten with our friends when we were 4.
I grew in 70's, in Texas and we all walk to school. its not the same everywhere in the USA.
Now I live in germany for 29 yrs and some parents walk their kids at school or drive them to school. Lets not act like all german kids walk to school alone.
@@roberthernandez2989 Sure but in this conversations its never about "all" more like "most of them".
I big problem is that in the US cities and suburbs are built around cars solely, making it far more dangerous for children to walk or take the bike to school, additionally, public transportation is not a thing as well. Of course, Germany also has seen a trend in parents driving their children to school, but the infrastructure of cities and villages also still allows for walking or cycling or taking of public transportation by children.
I live in a small, historic city in Ohio and so I’m thankful my son can still enjoy the freedom he had when he lived in Germany. He walks and bikes everywhere, we have sidewalks, and friends and grandmas watch out for each other’s kids. It’s a lovely and supportive community where many people know one another. I chose this neighborhood in part for this but also because of the higher taxes, which lends to better schools. We are in the top 3 of schools in all of Ohio consistently. I wanted to stay in Germany, but my son has dyslexia and I was concerned about the support he would get there. Additionally, I was nervous about the school dividing at 10 and he being relegated to a lower level of schooling because of his learning disability. Here, he has services in school and will have them through high school and university. It was a hard decision because we love almost everything about Germany. I wish they had more intervention services for those who have learning challenges.
There is, actually. My daughter has adhd and she has a person from "Jugendamt" who helps her in school and accompanies her in school. The system works quite well.
as a teacher - a lot of classroom management issues can be easily solved with smaller class sizes and kids who are ready to learn. sadly, this is often not the case.
there is a reason private schools advertise small class sizes. kids develop a better relationship with the teachers when the teacher doesn't feel like they are managing 30 bouncing balls of energy all at once!
I so agree! Class sizes need to be lowered in both countries.
Tuition vouchers ensure the disruptive don't ruin the education experience for those who want to learn. I wish teachers would see what an opportunity that would be. The unions just won't give that idea the time of day.
I stumbled across your channel today and really enjoyed some of your older posts.
I moved to usa about 10 years ago and the AC issue cracked me up.
Being from New Zealand AC then was not common as we have a temperate climate.
However being it Texas in summer I would always carry a fleece!
You would go from what seemed like walking on the surface of the sun onto a restaurant and feel like Scott on an Antarctic expedition!
As a Canadian kid in the 60's I would take the bus alone to see movies in the theaters at the age of 6
Our house was never locked and we were never burglarized
I am retired now after spending most of my working life in Switzerland
It is so nice that here young children are perfectly free and safe to go to and from school or to the shops, playgrounds, basically anywhere
Thank you so much for this fantastic conversation ❤️❤️❤️
Loved this conversation. So interesting and now I’m gonna have to follow them too. Welcome back Feli!
Feli,
I grew up in the north suburbs of Chicago. As a kid, we were all over the place. Our parents had no idea where we were.
Watch any John Huges movie. His films literally capture the culture I grew up in.
Thanks for the great videos/podcasts.
willing to bet those suburbs were built prior to ww2. zoning laws of the time facilitated suburb layouts that were far more walkable. only a few suburbs like that still exist today and they're absurdly expensive because of how walkable they are. it drives demand through the roof
@@jojivlogs_4255Blame Big Auto. The car supremacist agenda is everywhere in the US
I remember a high school teacher of mine just telling our class to go out to the basketball court and start playing basketball because all the boys were too rowdy.
And it worked. When they came back, everyone was quiet.
As someone who is quite a bit older than your guests, I can tell you that my childhood in Orange County, CA, was quite different from what they were describing as their experience in Georgia. I had a key to our house when I was in elementary school. When I was a senior in high school, I got my driver’s license and a car. Before then, to get to school, I either walked or rode my bike. Sometimes a parent would drive a few kids to the movies on Saturday morning, but we’d usually walk home afterward. I can remember walking 7 to 10 miles to get to my friend’s house after we had spent the day at Disneyland. As a general rule, a parent drove kids around only for longer trips (e.g., to the mountains or the desert).
Might be a little younger than you but I grew up in California also but we moved a lot we started in San Gabriel and moved to Covina, Chino, and graduated in Fontana always walked with friends to school or rode bikes if we lived farther out also used to walk to the theater or take our bikes and head to the mall in weekends.
Same for me in Upstate NY. We lived in a very rural town. We walked or rode our bikes MILES !
I agree that this is only their very narrow viewpoint. We had a great childhood, riding our bikes, friends, good schools. We have choice.
I grew up in the San Francisco/Bay area, in the suburbs actually. We had the freedom to ride our bikes to the store, parks, baseball diamonds, school, movies. My mom was too busy and didn't need to drive us anywhere unless we went on a family outing like camping, visiting relatives etc.
Similar to childhood for me growing up in NYC in the 70s. My mother went back to college when I was 6 to get her teaching degree. As an adult, I always joked with my parents that they would be arrested in today's climate for some of the things they let me do by myself! I'm grateful for my hardworking ,dedicated and loving parents.
My daughters school didn't have many substitute teachers. The principal and the teachers that didn't have a class during that time took over the class. Even in Elementary schools they had a home room teacher.
I loved this conversation!!! Thanks !! My whole English book in school is about the US .I learned a lot from this video and it helped improving my English!!
Greetings from Germany (BW) too!!!
So glad you did this and had this great conversation!
Quality content. As always. All nice people, good discussion. Nothing more to say, just thank you.
This only makes me want to move to Germany even more. As many people here in the comments are pointing out, the US used to be different; the 70s, 80s, and into the 90s it was just how they are describing Germany. It actually makes me kind of sad, my kids are very young and I'm extremely worried about them growing up here
Well, I'm a parent in Germany and I can say that there is definitly a connection between schools and househunting here. I've seen that a lot that when young couples have a child that is about to attend school, they move to a "better" neighbourhood so that the child can attend a "better" school. Problem is, if all the well situated families move away, the social structure at these schools gets more and more difficult. (Hope my english is understandable.)
Kids are raised in an adult world in Germany. We were more independent in the 70s. I was an American living in Germany and at 15 I used to go downtown on the bus alone. I spent my babysitting money on clothes and shoes. I always had to stop and pick up a few things for my mom. I even took the train to Frankfurt to go shopping alone at 16 to spend my summer hire pay checks. We roamed on and off base all the time. Loved it.
In America in 70s 80s we did too Parents now are more smothering We went everywhere
Welcome back, Feli! Glad you had a great trip--good to have you back! Thanks for another great video! 🙂Yes, I would love a video about handling first significant others!
Great video. A little more informative then all the other videos here on YT!! You need to do a part 2 of this.
As a kid in the widwest. He would play basketball, football from early in the morning to late at night. We were on our own. We had large parks everywhere. We had lakes and many friends had boats and we would water ski during the summer months. How many kids in germany are water skiing on lakes in the summer time with friends.
Yes, we had cars maybe in our second year in high school or one of our friends did.
@Orangeguy
What makes you think we don't have lakes, jet skis and summer in Germany?😂 We do!
In Belgium you can pick whatever school you want to go, but some schools in bigger cities that have a good reputation are difficult to get in because they just don't have enough space for all the kids. In my town of Oostende, a town of 72000 people, it wasn't a problem to go to the school you wanted.
From the age 10 I would go anywhere on my own either by bus, bike or on foot... school, go into town shopping, to the movies, to the beach, swimming pool...
Same in the Netherlands. You can choose any school. Private schools aren't really a thing here. Types of school that are considered private in other countries (such as Montessori) are public too (meaning that they get subsidized by the government) and therefore just as free as any other school (apart from fees for school trips and such). It's also not uncommon for kids from the same family to each go to a different school.
I always find it interesting when people comment that their kids can walk to school outside the US but not in the US. This couple lived in a suburban house in the US by choice. There are houses and schools that are in cities, or smaller towns that are easier to reach these places. They chose in Germany ti live in a more walkable area, although I’m sure if they lived more rurally there, they would have to drive their kids around. I will say that public transportation in the US is not what it is in Germany. But it’s possible to have a living situation more like Europe if you choose to look for it.
Thank you! Very insightful! I had come across the videos of this family a few months back. They seem very nice!
My daughter went to Elementary school. The German school kept suggesting that she needed to redo every year because she was not emotionally ready for school and wanted to play and not learn. I refused to do that because of pride. The year I moved stateside they were going to have her repeat 3rd grade without my permission. I went to military schools and then dealt with German schools and had a lot of culture shock when my daughter went to American schools.
Speaking of corporal punishment: I was subjected to it multiple times in my small-town Texas school system. If first happened to me in 1963 when I was six(!) years old, and said the word "hell" in my first-year class, not knowing better yet. My teacher sent me straight to the principal's office and he administered three "licks" (smacks) with a wooden paddle. Consider this: a six-year-old child, being beaten for an offense he didn't even know was an offense!
Later in Year 9, I was given three licks for flipping off a teacher who was crowding up on me with his school bus as I rode my bicycle. Afterward, my father congratulated me for being punished for that one. I think he believed it showed a healthy lack of respect for arbitrary authority.
That culture was in the Midwest, as well. I'm so sorry. Way too much trauma has been at the hands of school authoritarians.
Teacher driving a school bus?
@@AsterFoz Yes indeed. In a small rural school system, you sometimes have teachers who double as drivers to have enough to cover all the routes.
Had a similiar experience in a german catholic elemantary school back in the early seventies with an old catholic priest who was also our teacher for religion. He was citing the Genesis part of the Bible, the part where god creates the sheep, cows, blablabla and finally Man and Women.
Me completely into Dinosaurs at that time dared to innocently asked "And what about the dinosaurs??" He freaked completely out, grabbed a lock of my hair, wrapped it around his finger and pulled with a violent jerk - very painful, but leaves no trace of abuse, very clever!
Already at the age of 6 I learned very quickly that in terms of "love your neighbor" there was a big discrepancy between theory and reality.
As a baptized Catholic, I left the church at the age of 18 and have been a happy atheist ever since.
I enjoy watching your videos! My family's background is Peruvian, in South America. But I was doing some research and learned that there is a town in Peru, called Pozuzo, where German immigrants settled there in 1859. ☺️
My experience growing up was different from theirs...we walked or rode bikes to school (only kids more than a mile away took busses). We were always running around with friends, sometimes in our neighborhood, or in other neighborhoods, or went places to play, fish, go to library or beach or store or movie, up to 3 miles distant. I bicycled 15 miles each way to visit relatives. Both my parents worked but the doors were never locked back then, so no keys needed. Neighbors knew what ALL the kids did and told their parents. We had a lot of freedom as kids.
Great video Feli i am following them for a long time and just subscrided to one of their sons who created a YT channel again thanks for the video
My children went to a private bilingual Montessori school until grade 10.
The fees were 280€ per month for the first child, 230€ for the second child - and an additional 3€/per lunch.
So that's 3360€ + ~540€ per year for the first and 2760€ + ~540€ for the second child = 7200€/year.
My daughter went to an after school program because I was a single mother. They helped her with her homework except on Friday. They expected us to help her during the weekends. My mother ended up doing her homework cause she didn't want to do it.
For me growing up in the US the nearest store was at least 5 or 6 miles (8-9k) away from my home. I could perhaps get there by bike though. I'd bike to the mall at 11 but it was much safer back then. I now live in the suburbs of Beijing, China and believe it or not it's pretty much the same for me here now. As an American parent who raised a son in China I can tell you it can be very difficult raising a child in a culture different from the one you yourself grew up in Great video as always.
I went to the German American dances in the 70s and 80s. They would announce at 10:00 pm that anybody under the age 16 had to leave but you never had to unless you acted stupid and brought attention to yourself. It was so much fun.
Growing up in Southern California in the 80’s I walked or rode my bike to school. I stayed home by myself from the age of 8. I got a car when I was a sophomore in high school and drove myself to school.
Thought provoking....I have a granddaughter living in Manhattan (NYC). She gets herselt to school by riding the subway. I have a grandson and granddaughter living in LA (Reseda). They ride their bikes to school. Where population is sparse, there is no infrastructure available to school kids, so you have bussing. When kids live in dense populations, they can get to school without having to be driven by adults. Towns and villages in the northeast are situations similar to those in Europe, so kids can be more independent.
I do believe that there is a de facto segregation of financial circumstances in USA which leads to different educational opportunities town to town. Tracking in schools is taboo here, but it happens to a degree from these financial differences. More importantly class size plays a huge role in scholastic success,
This was super interesting. Thanks for sharing! :) 😊
About 50 years ago we moved from the US west ("left") coast to the deep south. The first time I said "yeah" instead of "ma'am" to a teacher in the deep south, her head nearly exploded.
Listening to the parents talk about raising kids sounds so different from the way I grew up in the '90s in small town Canada. I rode my bike or walked to school from the age of 6 on my own. I rode my bike around town on my own when I was around 9 or 10. I was a latchkey kid at age 10 in a small town and also was again once I was in high school in the late '90s and early 2000s. I feel sorry for kids in this day in age if they don't have as much freedom today as kids did in the past.
School district würde ich mit Schulsprengel übersetzen. Das gibt es nur für die Grundschule und die Hauptschule / Werkrealschule, zumindest in Baden-Württemberg. Sobald man eine weiterführende Schule (Realschule oder Gymnasium) besucht, kann man auswählen, welche - was aber nicht unbedingt heißt, dass man überall akzeptiert wird. Besondere Schulen sind auch schnell voll belegt und haben dann keine Kapazität mehr, weitere Schüler aufzunehmen.
I dont have kids but this was really fascinating. Thanks for doing that interview
I like the parenting method in Germany better seems more independent calm and know how to handle the child behavior without doing corporal punishment as much.
I have heard the term latch key kids, for children that are old enough to let themselves in the house with a key when their parents are at work. Another thing that is done is a safe house that children can go to in a neighborhood and stay with trusted friends or neighbors until their parents are home or can pick them up.
Hey, that can be dangerous.
The man of the house, a teenage son, his friend, another male relative, or even a workman at the house can present a sexual threat to a child or teenager.
Oprah Winfrey was sexually abused by her male cousin when she was a child and a teenager. She felt so ashamed and afraid of how her mother would react that she told no one. Her suffering led to her later becoming sexually reckless and using drugs, almost destroying her opportunity at college.
The world is a dangerous place.
Beware...
I'm an American much older than these parents, and as a child, I lived outside a small town. Independence was part of my childhood. In the summer, I got up, ate breakfast, got on my bike, waved goodbye to my mom, and returned home at lunch. I walked to school in the winter, but today, children in the same neighborhood take a bus. Since I crossed two busy roads and only one had a crossing guard, it probably wasn't safe for a K-2 elementary child to cross those roads. But I learned to make sure I went across with a group of older kids; it was understood that 4th-5th graders were responsible for the younger kids. My children were raised in the same town, and I didn't allow them that much freedom and today, they would allow their children even less. Why? I don't know; it is still a safe town. (I took German in high school because one math teacher minored in German and lived in Germany for a year. It was very unusual for German to be taught in public schools in the 60s, and it isn't taught now, which is a shame. I think Germany is the perfect place for Americans to learn about and live in Europe.)
As a non-German mother of primary school kids in Germany I was amused to learn the -- for me then new -- slightly mocking or tongue-in-cheek label of "Turnbeutelvergesser" (gym bag forgetter)!
I walked to school as a kids and I see Kids walk to and from school everyday live in Illinois
Just thinking about my own upbringing after enjoying this interesting clip. I'm going to be 67 in February, born and raised in Los Angeles smack in the middle of a very busy "urban jungle" (if you're curious, look at the cross-streets of Lincoln and Venice Boulevards). I was 12 years old in 1968, son of very permissive parents, but also as, I suppose, a beneficiary of that era and its near bygones in regards to now lost notions of what neighborhoods were expected to be, and therefore of what norms we could anticipate.
Our miles of adjacent streets, each a jumble of cramped houses (ours a bungalow of nine) were full of kids, and I tell you we would run around everywhere sans limits from early morning until sunset, including barely regulated access to each others' open doors and refrigerators. The "big city" as a dangerous place didn't really cast its pall until maybe around mid-seventies. I consider myself lucky to have experienced something that seems to not exist anymore here in the States.
I have contention here, I grew up in the Detroit metro area in the 80’s-90’s, sidewalks everywhere, there prospective is from a southern American, there not saying that? We were extremely independent in the north, walking, biking etc. we walked to school, always with friends. These are southern people your talking with, I live in South Carolina now, and the culture is MUCH different from the Midwest, north, west or eastern parts of the US.
I’m a very religious American, and it is annoying how resistant Christians are to considering the ethics and consequences of spanking.
I’m glad to hear that Europe is not as backwards on this topic.
Very interesting, although I will add that since the USA is so big and varied, raising kids can be very very different even within the same state or county.
29:50... I must have gone to a very god fearing high school in Sydney in the late 60s.
We were given either 2, 4 or 6 strokes of the cane on our stretched out open palms.
Depending on the severity of our infractions. You didn't want to get '6 of the best' or you might end up with blood blisters.
It was difficult holding a pen even after just getting 4 strokes.
It was a joy going to a Volkschule in Germany as a teenager for a couple of years where they never have heard of corporal punishment.
@alexradojkovic9671....Volkschule, Realschule or Gymnasium??? Volkschule is definitely not Gymnasium!! I am wondering whether corporal punishment was more prevalent in German schools during the first half of the 20th century. Certainly your experience in Volkschule was post-war or even post-post-war.
In Germany teachers are hired and paid by the Bundesland (state) but the school facilities are paid by the municipalities and/or Landkreis (county). Thus the ‘hardware’ can depend on how rich your town is but it won’t vary that much within one town.
It does not only depend on money but also whether the headmaster of a school puts effort in the school and whether local politicians find the school important....
@@sollte1239 It does depent a lot on money. I wen to a private catholic gymnasium when I was young and here was a and still is quite big difference to the gymnasium that way run by the city. There were no adittional costs for going to the gymnasium, but in regard to money out gymnasium was somewhat better situated. To a small degree to the church givin an adittional smaller amount of money as well as due to our "Förderverein'". A club of parents and alumni giving small amounts so the club could support the school with expupment or help some not as good situated kids when there were schooltrips.
The main difference though was how the school was run. I know there are also great non private schools around - especially when there are some exceptional headmasters and teachers who love their job, but in geral i think private run schools are bette organized,
With no "Zentralabitur" at the time we did not have better maks (which we always thought unfair), but we were ahead in content way more some additional 30k per year for the entire school could ammount for.
To know about what a kind of difference i am speaking of: When I went to university many people had a hard start right from the beginning. In my two main courses during the first one and a half semesters though I had to lean almost nothing, because all the basics they teached there were already covered at school...
I am 71 years old and remember walking to grade school over a mile and and being gone all day in the summer riding my bike. When I was 15 I decided to ride my bike 72 miles to go to my grand parents. We lived in a town that was about 25K population and I think it has changed some but not a lot. Back when I was a child I think large cities were much the same. The change today is that there are so many single parent homes over generations that our society have broken down and large cities are the most affected.
I enjoy your material quite a lot. Very informative! And your facility with language is quite good - excellent! Thank you.
I remember my time in the Kindergarten very well. It was private, so my parents had to pay not much, but a little. It was also very new, so the parents did a lot of carpenter work by themselfes to improve things.
I got spanked one time by a teenage trainee, but the other adults were really nice with us kids 😂
Preschool Year started at age 5, one year before entering school usually at 6. I remember that by this time we got switched to more organized and skillfull games that prepared us quite well for elementary school.
I live in a semi rural area in the Midwest. What was said at the beginning of the video is an assumption and not exactly true. As a kid, I would ride my bicycle everywhere. I would take the back roads and ride 7 miles to my sister's house often. I also would bike ride 3 miles to school too.
Already subscribed to both of your channels since long time. Great video!
I also was 18 when I got my driver's license. I live in Fargo, ND, and it just isn't necessary here. This was back in 1991. I rode bike, took a bus, etc. It's different in the western part of the state.
What a great video! I was raised and educated in Germany (Bavaria) then moved to the States as a young mom. My children were educated in Florida and I worked in the school system for 24 years. I so COMPLETELY agree with Sarah. Teachers need more education and training. They need more help! They need an understanding of child development. Neither country does a good job in teaching kids how to behave. I often was shocked watching teachers demean children out of frustration. Also, I'm still always annoyed by watching parents yelling at their very small children on playgrounds! I go often with my grandkids. I just don't understand how ANYONE can believe that spanking kids would teach them anything but violence. In my opinion it should be outlawed anywhere in the world. Maybe then, one day there will be peace?!!
Yep.
Spanking teaches fear, lying, avoidance and yes violence. I was spanked at a kid for misbehaving or what not. I learned to avoid, and lie because I didn't want to be beaten again. And I don't have kids of my own because I know I will not be able to kindly talk to them, and would want to beat them if they don't do dished. And I don't want to do that. So no kids for me. Plus kids are absolutely the meanest monsters on the planet, in my experience. I was also bullied at school by these monsters.
So no thank you, no kids for me.
Sometimes children need a good hard slap or a stick broken over their backs to teach them discipline and respect for their elders. This approach is greatly missing in America and the kids their have terrible attitudes toward their parents and grow up to eventually be asshole Americans
@@mohamedalkaboom no they don't need spanking to behave! But from your name, I know where your mindset comes from. It's so deep in your culture and your religion integrated and for you to overcome this, would be really hard! As you have experienced it your whole life! Though you seem to be a male, which might get you less spanking, than miss behavior as a female.
I never got a spanking from my parents as a kid. However neither misbehaved either, bc they teached me how, without hitting.... They showed me how to behave with their actions 😉. Kids learn by observation and failures.... So with good guidance and encouragement they will learn the right and wrongs, by their own!
@@SoneaT right, they need a good slap in the face and maybe a hockey stick broken over their back when they do something real dumb. All my friends and I when were younger got just that. We all respected and feared our fathers, and today we are all successful adults
@@mohamedalkaboom we do all respect our parents, without getting something smashed over any part of the body. My Kids as well and they are teenagers right now! I hope someday you will be able to understand, but I can understand that you where raised in this way! Or you are probably pranking me, at least I hope so!
I am very impressed with the insight Kevin and Sara have into the German education system with its strengths and weaknesses.
Wow!
My children grew up in the suburbs and experienced much the same childhood as I did in the city, which was similar to what they are experiencing now in Germany.
The trinity in France is onions, celery and carrots. The trinity among the Louisiana French is onions, celery and Bell peppers. The trinity in Bavaria is garlic and parsley.
As someone who was raised in a very Christian fundamentalist home when you talking about spanking I was just thinking about this verse from proverbs.
Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. proverbs 13:24
so yeah a correlation between spanking and Christianity makes sense to me.
In the 80’s and 90’s I walked or bicycled to school and anywhere I needed to go. From kindergarten all through high school. I earned my license at sixteen, but still would bicycle or walk. At college I walked everywhere except off campus as well.
Anyway, I think it depends a lot on where you live.
Secondly, if you only look at corporal punishment from the neigh sayer’s perspective, you will only see the negative affects. There are plenty of studies from the other side that paint a completely different picture. The largest problem is not the punishment itself, it is the who and how it is used.
Very well done and very informative! Regarding the school districts I really have to say that USA is a very class devided society unlike any European country. Literally every family I know in USA who was looking for a new house and has kids they research all the data about the schools where they plan to move. And when you search for a certain neighborhood you find all the information about the percentage of race, education, income etc. In Germany and many other countries such a disclosure would be illegal. Also in Germany it doesn't really matter how well of are your parents and which neighborhood you live in regarding your education when you are really smart and hard working. Basically you can have an access to all the best universities and when you are very smart and poor and it will cost you close to nothing compared to USA. In USA it feels more like a privilege to some. And the costs of education on the top universities are out of control.
In America, education from preschool through graduate school functions as a social sorting mechanism.
Were there no social sorting mechanisms, vast numbers of able and intelligent young adults would be crowding into the job market in search of the highest-earning, most desirable careers and jobs. Utter chaos would reign. And how would hiring managers and executive "head hunters" be able to choose from amongst the throngs?
Societies, especially ours, fabricate ways to winnow down the numbers of kids and teens so that far fewer are left remaining to compete for access to the next level higher in the educational food chain.
So, yes, it's socially unjust and very unfair, but our system allows for having manageable numbers of students competing for academic opportunities now and then career opportunities later.
File under, "it's just one of those things!" 😕🤔
I totally agree with you
The US educational system is also quite discriminatory in its emphasis on certain academic subjects versus other academic subjects. Some of the math classes which were mandatory such as geometry became totally useless. English and World Language classes were practical because humans communicate through language on a daily basis. History became very useful on account of constant exposure to religion, architecture, art and past and current events.
European education, on the other hand, is so much more inclusive of all subjects, and higher education is valued as a quality experience unlike the US where it is more like a competition!!
I really enjoyed this conversation. I recently moved to Germany (quiet close to Bayern),from Greece. It's a bit hard at first for a kid to be in a German school.Especially when he doesn't speak the language.
Great video! I like both of your channels, great contents 👍
I'm American and I was independent at around 6 or 7 my parents were real young (18) when I was born. I made friends with older neighborhood kids real easy. I'm up in Cleveland Ohio lake county. Funny I came across the title. Born in 81 when kids could be kids.
Baby Born was a big toy when my daughter was in German elementary school. Being American I could buy an American doll cheaper at the PX so I bought her one. She got mad at me because all her friends had a German doll. I didn't know they were different dolls. They had the same name. I ended up getting a German one too.
Learning styles is an important concern. Not all teachers are equally gifted in teaching to each style required by the students. When students and teachers mesh well, there is an extremely good relationship. Otherwise, there is a grating irritation, like the groaning of ice sheets frozen on Lake Huron in the winter. The waves under the ice cause the groaning of the ice.
I would never in a million years find a video about children entertaining. Leave it up to Feli to find a way to do that 🥳
It's true that sidewalks vary neighborhood to neighborhood. It's a thing that did not exist in unincorporated county parts. Sidewalks often occurred in city proper. That was a thing. unincorporated county places don't have city services and are relying on the county exclusively for their services. It's a tax savings, but it can also have its share of headaches.
My daughter is in a montessori school in Germany and we pay about 200€ a month. She is in a class with 40 kids from grades 1-6 and three teachers. And the older kids are actually teaching the younger ones. And it seems to be working fine. Would recommend and send her there again.
In Norway we do try to secure the playtime as that is how children is learning. If you play out life and feelings you will be happier!
I grew up in Cincinnati and was paddled by my 2nd grade teacher in the late 70’s for talking.
Interesting video, but I had a difficult time identifying with some of Sara's and Kevin's claims about US schools, or maybe I should say that my experiences were totally different from theirs. My sister and I were completely independent as kids and we would walk or take public transportation everywhere, even to the neighboring state to visit family on our own. My sister walked about 30 minutes with friends to school in the mornings, I took the bus and subway. We got free bus and subway passes as kids from the city, so after school I was always traveling around, exploring different neighborhoods on my own. We grew up in NYC so maybe that played a role, but even our cousins living in the suburbs of NJ or PA were independent as kids, and either walked, biked or drove themselves (when they were old enough). The only time we relied on our parents for taxi service was on long trips (6+ hours) to visit relatives, but growing up in the 80's and 90's I've never seen or heard of kids being so dependent on their parents that they couldn't get around on their own. I suspect that Sara and Kevin might be helicopter parents, but that's just my gut feeling.
Regarding those "studies" on corporal punishment, we should be very careful when citing them as "authoritative". Many of these so called "studies" are nothing more than observed correlations, which as we know cannot be used scientifically to establish cause. For example you guys point out some of the long-term psychological effects of corporal punishment as determined by these studies you've examined, such as violence, depression, lack of self-esteem, etc. But these symptoms are just as likely to occur in individuals who never experienced corporal punishment as children. In addition many individuals who did experience corporal punishment as children turned out to be well-adjusted adults who never developed any of these long-term psychological effects.
The channel Not just Bikes makes good videos about it, about urban planning US Canada vs. Europe incl. public transport.
Since they only moved last year, their perspective on school is more of their own children's just 2 or 3 years ago.
And nowadays it's very much different than in the 80s and 90s (even in Germany it's much different nowadays than back then)
Children in USA are very much HELICOPTERED BY PARENTS. Maybe so many bad things happens here.The parents pick up their children even from the bus stop in within their own subdivisions with the car. Your experience in your childhood might have been an exception. And smacking children by any teacher is bad very bad. Also being criticized by the teacher in front of the class is bad and traumatizing. We had a teacher like that in school, he was cruel, such a Nazi he was. He gave almost every child bad a grading except for the best in the class. And he didn't hesitate to say nasty things to the children.
The big difference is urban VS rural, there are little to no sidewalks where I live and no public transportation. It's just not safe from a physical standpoint to have kids walking or riding bikes on the shoulder. Not to mention so many kids are kidnapped all the time.
Regarding corporal punishment:. I do not know of any adult in 2023 who did not get any type of smack or paddling as a child. Those children who were not getting any type of corrective measures as a child are the ones who have become the 'problem adults'.....
I live in an Atlanta suburb now and they’re exactly right about having to drive kids everywhere here. There are very few sidewalks or bike lanes, there are a lot of very busy roads, and everything is spread out far from where you live. Closer to the city you don’t need a car as much and I do see more kids out by themselves, but in the suburbs it’s just not possible to go much further than your own neighborhood.
I’m from the US, I grew up with corporal punishment in the school system and at home. If my kids threw a tantrum, I let them throw it and asked them if they were finished, my kids never did it again. We taught our kids that they can play with the toys in the store after shopping, but we were not buying toys and they had to put them back.
There's a hundred ways I would like to comment about this post. But, I will sum it up in two words. Really! Wow!
@@Navyuncle My kids had toys, but I tried not to spoil them. I put my kids in time out rather than spank them. I’ve never approved of spanking. There are still people here in the US that spank, horrible!
Growing up in the 60s we had lots of freedom to go places. It was the babyboomer era so we had plenty of kids to play with. We were much more active playing baseball, football and other sports. Parks were close and even schools. The only rule we had as pre schoolers, we had to be close enough for if mom yelled for us to come home, he better be there asap.
I’m a German living in Portland, Oregon, raising two teenagers. We also did a sabbatical in Germany when the kids were little (3 and 6). I agree that German kids have much more independence. My 6 year old could walk to school, go to the bakery etc. Here, they probably wouldn’t serve a 6-year old in a bakery! I remember some of our US neighbors being confused that we didn’t know where exactly our grade schooler was roaming the neighborhood at any given time. We were worried that someone would call CPS on us! At least, we live in a city that celebrates walking, biking and public transportation. The negatives in Germany with children: there is still a “seen but not heard” mentality and you can get stink eyes when your kids are noisy. I found it interesting, though, that they found German parents so calm. I my experience American parents are more likely to take their kids to the side and talk to them quietly when they do something wrong and German parents are more likely to scold their kids loudly in front of everyone. But maybe that’s the Portland friendly mentality. I also haven’t seen corporal punishment here.
Regarding schools: I like the more comprehensive and integrational approach of US schools that teaches kids at their ability level (that includes a much better integration of disabled kids). Teaching is more differentiated than in Germany. But that’s also because US schools traditionally are all day schools with a comprehensive approach and German schools are (used to be) half day schools. I remember my 6-year old wasn’t allowed to read a book during the very basic English lessons even though being bored to tears. In the US it’s normal that kids who are done with their work can sit in a corner and read. In Germany it was seen as a bad example and disruptive!
I agree that separating the kids in the different levels of school in 5th grade is a bad idea and in international comparisons German schools get dinged for not supporting social mobility enough. However, the US isn’t better in this regard, it’s the Nordic countries that usually do the best. They don’t separate kids until 10th grade.
In NJ corporal punishment is forbidden. Culturally, it seems limited to a few. This is changed from the 1950s and 60s when I was growing up. There are distinct cultural differences in NJ. African Americans may accept corporal punishment, perhaps because many have ties to the South.
You don't have to go to the closest primary school in Germany.
I went to a school on the other side of the city.
The same goes for the Kindergarten.
In Berlin it can be quite important where you live for Grundschule.
I’ve heard people from another schools complaining about the amount of work they did in kindergarten
And they wanted to get fun , play in the background just playing and doing another stuff instead of learning maths or another classes.
When I was in kindergarten
We used to play , the teachers reading books to us
Singing songs ( just like in Waldorf German school)
That was good good but , that was bad in some way
Bcz you don’t have like the sense of responsibility and you don’t know stuff
Which you can learn it earlier in the us for example
great idea and video! thanx a lot!
about beating a child, i have read a scene, what shows everything to say about it.
A parent is beating a child and saying during this to the child: "How many times I told you not to solve your problems with violence"
I think you might have the „wiesn Grippe“ just like almost entire Munich 😂
Probably... 😅
Here in Schleswig-Holstein you can also request a different Grundschule than the one the city assigns your child to.
I grew up in Michigan, Tennessee and Colorado, I'm 52, what they (@mymerrymessylife) describe as life in German schools sounds more like what I had in the schools I went to in the US.
Oktoberfest looks like it has gotten bigger and better than it was when I attended for the 1979-81 seasons. I remember the Loewenbrau tent with its roaring lion, the big krugs of bier, and a giant pretzel on a ribbon around my neck that I gnawed on while drinking my bier. The experience reminded me of a county fair on a grand scale.
So I was working for Bavarians and they weren't bragging about being Bavarians. So then this extended family of Swabians came to Florida all together on vacation. And they started bragging about being Swabian. They made sure I knew. I didn't mind. It was new to me.
In America, there are a lot of parents who expect their kids to serve their needs instead of parents serve the needs of their kids as they are to grow up and learn to be productive citizens. There are so many parents who think the gratification of being a parent is the fun times as you go along rather than the long slog of hoping and praying the child grows into a productive adult.
In New York there was the same reaction as in Germany regarding Missouri.
By now you can no longer freely choose your school of choice in Germany. They changed the ruling that you have to go to your closest school.
There might be differences due to the Bundesland though.
True but if it's within your Bundesland and more or less the same city you can choose! We have 6 different Realschulen and a few M Zweige here in Bavaria near my village! (almost the same thing) you can go to the one you want. Even the ones who are in Baden-Württemberg bc they are more nearby than the Bavarian ones 🤣. But If you choose for example a Werksrealschule or Gesamtschule you need to pay the bus ticket yourself, bc in Bavaria we don't have those and that's why they won't pay for this... Even it is the nearest one 😜.
You do not have a say so over your own children imo.
I prefer the freedom of the US & being able to keep my children with me!
Instead of Santorini, please try Naxos (it is a 3 hours ferry ride from Santorini which costs almost nothing) next time!!!! Naxos is my personal dream and I feel very happy to have the opportunity to go there in May for the fourth time now! It is kinda sad, because the world is so big and I always (at least the last year - yeah, I had much holidays😂) end up going to Naxos. I love it though.
I think you miss a major point that you can’t compare Germany to all of the US. My kids walk to school or ride their bikes. All the kids in our neighborhood play outside after school until one of the parents yell for dinner then they all run home. We leave our doors unlocked most of the time , if I need an egg I go to a neighbors and if they aren’t home I just take the egg!
They were just Talking about their personal experiences not all of the us or all of Germany
We pay $1700 a month for daycare in Denver. $8-10k a year for Montessori is a bargain.
Holy Moly 😮
Well, letting kids choose whether or not they're going to wear clothes for the 1st few years of their life Is excellent.
As far as creepers go I would just limit the pictures were my child is naked to photograph stay at home. The only photos that would go online or social media would be when they are appropriately clothed.
When I went to kindergarten it was all play and almost no worksheets. But that was also in the 1989s before kindergarten was mandatory.