I Emailed My Doctor 133 Times: The Crisis In the British Healthcare System
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- Опубликовано: 2 май 2024
- go.nebula.tv/philosophytube
An odyssey into the NHS and why it treats trans patients so poorly
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BIBLIOGRAPHY:
docs.google.com/document/d/e/...
CHAPTERS:
0:00:00 Prologue
0:01:17 1 - The Easy (& Wrong) Version
0:04:31 2 - Basic Training
0:09:47 3 - The Theatre of War
0:16:22 4 - Contact!
0:32:07 5 - Unequal Treatment
0:47:32 6 - Solutions
0:53:29 7 - Colonel Cathcart's Grand Plan
0:59:36 8 - Computer Says No
1:04:46 9 - You Don't Have To Be Crazy To Transition, But It Helps
1:20:08 10 - Yossarian
MUSIC:
"Unfoldment, Revealment, Evolution, Exposition, Integration," "There's Probably No Time," "The Life and Death of a Certain K. Zabriskie, Patriarch," "Oxygen Garden," "Is That You or Are You You," "I Am a Man Who Will Fight for Your Honor," "Divider," "I Don't See the Branches, I See the Leaves," and "What Does Anybody Know About Anything" by Chris Zabriskie are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. creativecommons.org/licenses/...
Source: chriszabriskie.com/reappear/
Artist: chriszabriskie.com/
#health #healthcare #education
I don't usually ask directly but this time, PATREON.COM/PHILOSOPHYTUBE! A phenomenal amount of effort went into making this, the crew and I worked so hard, and if you want more in-depth fully researched content like this then crowdfunding is how it happens! ❤
I AM NO LONGER ASKING
I can't speak to your experience of GPs in England, but I do know plenty of GPs trying quite hard in Australia to support trans people. Though seeing the demand vs amount of clinics it's underresourced for sure..
That Beowuld DIY was really something of an opener
I cant imagine how many times you had to change the british prime minister in the time it took to make this video
I remember when sexual identity law was discused in Argentina, How marriage would be destoyed, wath if someone transition in marriage, if it dissolves(false because we had already legalised same gender/inclusive marriage (the wording is consorts so its gender neutral),that you needed medical permision, that the would be an stampede of men changing their gender to retire early and scamming social security... and then... nothing really happened... cis people remained cis, the doctor can only know someone is trans because that person is saying it, otherwise how could the "diagnose" it, and to date there was only one suspected case of legal transition for trying to score an early retirement.
Let trans people be themselves, because as you have so elocuently argued, having such systems is just transphobia with extra steps
To paraphrase a famous AIDS activist protest signage on the back of their jacket: “If transphobia kills me - forget burial - just drop my body on the steps of Congress.”
This hits different nowadays...
I remember the protests right after Uvalde. Saw a picture of a young person with a sign that says “if I die in a school shooting, leave my body on the steps of congress”
It definitely won't lmfao
This is taken from "Close to the Knives" by David Wojnarowicz. And people did indeed throw their friends' ashes on the White House lawn.
I'm Canadian. A homosexual Canadian. My roommate, who's a long time friend, suffers horrible, incapacitating pains during her period. She's been asking for a hysterectomy for years, and has consistently been told that it couldn't be done in the off chance she finds a man who want s children: she had never wanted any. It's come to a point where I've offered to marry her so I could tell her doc that I agree to sterilize her. Women are not being listened to, and it's tragic. Truly. Watching the suffering helplessly is really saddening
Wtf! She should say she's lesbian so they can't use this horrible and patronizing excuse to rob her of her bodily autonomy
WHAT THE FUCK
That is also heartbreaking from a fifth angle since it devalues adoption. We live in a very strange world.
Imagine denying someone's bodily autonomy for a theoretical man. Is there any proof of patriarchy stronger than that - that the desires of men who may never exist have more say than a real woman?
Is it endometriosis? My sister has had it since puberty. It's debilitating. Still, it took thousands of dollars worth of appointments and years of hopping from specialist to specialist before she could finally get a hysterectomy. She told me she felt like nobody was listening to her. She has kids already, but they still insisted she'd regret it. She argued that she could barely take care of the kids she had while she was in so much pain.
I hope your friend gets the operation she needs. If her situation is anything like my sister's, it will help so much. 💛
And yet I was under the idea that it was too easy to receive this type of healthcare. Misinformation is one hell of a drug.
That's why itns very important to be careful about information found on the internet. Otherwise you end up watching guys like Sargon.
@@Sir_Bucket well said. I too was so close to being one of those people. Affirmation for your own biases is dangerous yet EXTREMELY easy to fall into. question EVERYTHIGN
It makes the spreading of misinformation about "kids transitioning willy-nilly" by far-right groups especially infuriating (also because they purposefully have no idea or lie about what that healthcare actually entails), and then they use our furious emotional response as a way to discredit us. We can just never win.
I only found out after I had paid a bunch of money and spent a bunch of time with a therapist that my doctors receptionist had lied to me and that I did not need a letter from a therapist to start hormone therapy. This was after months of waiting for an appointment to see one of the few doctors in my town that would prescribe me hormones, getting my appointment canceled twice, and then, after he prescribed me the medication, I waited three weeks for the pharmacy to fill it and payed $50 for a vial that would last me four doses. Even when there are “no barriers” to trans healthcare, someone will create a barrier for you.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry it has been such a horrendous experience.
My maternity Doctor (who turned out to be the one who decapitated a baby in Ninewells in Dundee) was really really pushing for a natural birth. I was high risk and terrified. I saw a different doctor one day, a beautiful English black lady, who took one look at my chart and my anxious face, picked up the phone saying, "if you wsnt a c section, we'll get you a section." Bish bash bosh. There were a number of things that could have spelled disaster for me, my son ir us both. Hes 5 now ❤
jesus, im so sorry you have to go through that. so glad u and ur son made it through and are in a better place now!
i'm so glad you met her.
I'm so glad to hear you and your boy are alright and, above all, alive and well. 💚
@@zubetp me too, I really wish I'd caught her name, I'll never forget her
@@gemh89you can find her! Look in your notes and see the name of the doc who signed x
I waited over four years for an ADHD assessment and stupidly told the truth that I had, in fact been abused as a child. It's trauma, he said. I gave him all of my school reports, all of them. It was as clear as day. Trauma he said. ADHD and trauma at the same time, I said? Trauma, he said. Off with you now, he said. I will never be the person I could have been.
It's insane that you have to coddle and dance around doctors for them to not dismiss you
What makes this even worse is that SO many people, including myself, experienced childhood trauma (and C-PTSD) at least partially BECAUSE OF undiagnosed ADHD
I was diagnosed 5 years ago and stopped medication. My trust had shut all its practices and reffered me to a private right to choose service so I could be seen within 18 weeks to start treatment again. It's been 18 months and I'm still waiting for an appointment. The law stipulates this must be done in 18 weeks or another clinition from another trust must be transported to my practice. This hasnt happened and there is no legal recourse for them.
@@shmel3689 it's so horrible in therapy and psychiatry too. Can't share too much, they'll send me to the ward.
Adhd is very linked to trauma. He should read books by Gabor. I chose to pay for my adhd assessment privately
For anyone wondering how other groups are doing, people with ADHD and Autism Spectrum are having basically the same treatment. The NHS baaaasically doesn't admit that either condition exists in adults
fun :/ gotta love how our systems just abandon us at adulthood to fend for ourselves. when I was on California's state medicaid plan (basically a free state-run health-insurance program for people who are too poor to afford private insurance), they would fully cover the cost of me going to the doctor to get diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed stimulant meds, but they wouldn't pay for the meds themselves. ADHD medication was only covered if you were 18 or younger. Because, as we all know, ADHD just stops being a problem and goes away the day you turn 19. 🙄
Right! They gave me amphetamines as a kid without second guessing and now that I’m an adult they treat me like a drug seeker
....*WHEN YOU ARE ALL OF THOSE*
will in the US that Admit that Autism Spectrum Disorder and ADHD affect adults. No one gives a dame about it and you have no obligation or extraction of care. So the NHS pretending you don't except but still pervideing basic medical regardless is still much better then being complete screwed and with out healthcare at all like it is in the US
YEP.
a good friend of mine was illegally kicked off of her GP without the written 3 day warning she's legally supposed to get. the reason? she wouldn't leave when they wouldn't fill her perscription, and kept insisting that they Couldn't(they absolutely could). they even threatened to destroy her medical records. all because they didn't want to give her the percription reup for the progesterone she's already approved for and entitled to.
we are looking into legal action :) as will her gender clinic if they actually did destroy the records they need.
the best part? she's not even trans. she's just intersex.
these people are WAY too comfortable lording power and strategic incompitancy over peoples heads. if they don't want to help you then they just fucking won't. and something i don't believe abigail mentioned in her video here: the entire time, you are not allowed to show any outright anger, and they may even go as far as asking you to sign a contract promising you won't cry, whine, or otherwise make a fuss at ALL while in their clinic. i guarantee you that's why she was so hilariously Polite™ throughout this video. because it's not just while you're in there; if they can find proof of you acting out about them, they can just kick you off.
this system is killing people, and i promise you, they're laughing about it. we NEED to fix this system.
Destroying medical records feels like a special kind of evil. It's going out of your way to do something that benefits no one - it only harms. How can you threaten something like that and not see yourself as a villain?
I like the term "weaponized incompetence" for things like this. LIke how the police "lost" all the evidence from my childhood "grape" and kidnapping case only after it was decided that my case would not be winnable.
@@hobocode When it gets to the point of threatening to destroy medical records, it can no longer be called "incompetence", even ironically. That is weaponised malice, not incompetence.
@@ActualAshCamDefinitely weaponised malice. Legal malice and discrimination, the ability to deny care or service based on some logical factors, is understandable but highly abusable. Weaponising it to keep someone in line is a blatant abuse of power.
@@annamelvina216 Surely it's illegal?
i am a 19 year old trans man from poland, i didnt go to a doctor for years because i was traumatised because of one, recently i had a first appointment at the clinic and was told they will contact me in 9 months for even the first assesment, i planned to end it before the end of the year but now that there is even a glimmer of hope,
i will hold on.
hold on brother
Hold onto that hope as tight as you can. I believe in you and wish you only happiness!
Trzymaj się :(
wow, this comment's old, but not 9 months old... :(
I Hope you’re still hanging in there. I can’t say anything that can truly help you but I’m rooting for you anyways.
My white whale was getting my university to stop deadnaming me (even though I legally changed my name partway through the process - they still managed to screw it up). Months of emails and meetings (with everyone from the student-run LGBT outreach to the dean's office) later, they added a tiny little button to the student portal to add a preferred name which would appear everywhere a legal name wasn't required. Even if I leave no other legacy in this world, at least I gave it that button.
I am so sorry that you had to do all that, but thank god for you. You have already accomplished more for others than most will.
You very possibly made the lives of many trans people just a bit better and that’s more then many have the strength left to do weather they’d like to or not
That's amazing! Well done!!!
Christ, this is how petty trans people are. Everything gotta cater to them.
Grow up.
Abigail: “You have a legal right to receive health care within 18 weeks.”
Everyone who’s ever tried to get NHS mental health support: “wait, what!!!!?????”
whattt?!!
It's amazing what happens when you have a party quite willing to privatize another national system for profit because it makes the richest even richer.
@@Aubsbubs you think that's bad, during covid tons of us autistic people were sent out letters telling us that we would be blanket given "do not resuscitate" orders if we got ill.
@@robokill387 Wait what? WHAT???
That can't be true?! They send you a letter that they would just let you die??
@@robokill387 Currently the waiting list to be seen and assesed for autism is a year and a half ..
I could feel my anger management therapy eroding away as this video went on. I'm so sorry for all of you.
Unfortunately anger is the right answer here. Thank you for your sympathy.
@m.mulder8864
(something appropriate about the boros icon here)
watching this video just fills me with such a righteous anger, i wish there was something i could do qnq
ugh I need anger management therapy. writing paragraphs under stuff isnt good for me.
I’m in australia and I told my GP I was non-binary in an appointment for something else. A few months later I asked for a referral for top surgery and she was like “well, this obviously isn’t a new thing for you, sure thing.” And then I saw a plastic surgeon half a year later to get top surgery about a year later. A long wait but he was going on holiday for 2 months and was quite busy. No red tape, they believed me to start with, just a wait because he was very good. I didn’t even need to be on testosterone to have it. And my chest looks great.
I'm australian too and your story gave me so much hope, i'm non-binary and want to get top surgery too. congratulations :)
I cried a little reading that. I'm in Scotland and the waitlist for me is 2 years. I'm looking at March 2025 for my initial appointment.
how much did you need to pay? I've been trying to get top surgery for years now (Vic based) but the cost has stopped me at every turn
Fuck it I'm moving to Australia
@@Vivi2372 ikr? Like damn
"waiting for someone else's permission to live the rest of your life" as a chronically ill person, this is exactly what the wait to for diagnosis felt like. Dying until they told me otherwise.
"dying until they told me otherwise" describes it precisely, the sheer amount of background terror waiting for diagnosis spanning months, years in pain
Yup :( it’s so painful.
Felt very much like this, as someone who has struggled in the mental health system. It’s devastating to see how the very system that was design to support such communities has turned into something so broken. My heart breaks for the endless avoidable deaths and pain that has been caused by Tory privatisation and cuts
I feel your pain. I've been there.
or having to prove that you "suffer enough" to count as chronically ill in front of psychologists and evaluators that would send you back to work and mark you as "healthy" just cause you still have barely enough juice in you to do the dishes. cause "surviving" and "living" are apparently the same thing.
im a trans man living in scotland. i went to my gp to be referred to sandyford gender clinic. i was referred in october 2018. it is now april 2023, and i havent had a word. no letter, nothing. i asked to go when i was 14, and i am now almost 19 years old. my puberty is done. it was the wrong one, and i am so, so fucking angry.
my family cannot afford private care. i had to choose between getting top surgery or going to university and having my flat. ive attempted twice, and my gp did not care. all he said was “we cannot move you on the waiting list” when i came in on an emergency appointment after my second suicide attempt.
people die on the waiting list. transmascs cannot do DIY without extreme risk. people are DYING. I ALMOST DIED. and the nhs doesnt care enough to save us.
i am SO sorry 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
I have lived through a disconcertingly similar experience to yours, only that I am from Italy, and as another trans 19 year old who is still waiting for healthcare after surviving one sui attempt, I just want to say that I understand how you feel.
@@ExtraThiccc youre going through the comments on this video to talk about how people dying is paradise. actual monka take bro
@@gato_uisce It's free healthcare, they brag about it all the goddamned time. Just utilize it better.
You either get rid of your socialist medical system or get enough money to afford a proper American private medical care to fund your mental illness.
Not trans but this is particularly cathartic to rewatch today, as I contemplate trying to get treated for chronic disease in the us as a fat woman. I have been told three times by the same doctor to go on a diet despite already being in the diet before she ever met me. Currently saving a binder full of PDFs for actual treatment to take with me next appt. It's so exhausting and I really feel the pain Abby is in despite the difference in specific issue.
I'm also a fat woman in the US. I've been dealing with what I strongly suspect is long covid for over a year now and I haven't bothered to go to the doctor for it. I was overweight prior to that, but I was losing weight, and was in okayish shape. But all my experiences prior to getting sick have led me to believe there is absolutely no point in going to the doctor because all I'll hear is "well, have you tried losing weight?"
Like, I've gone to multiple different doctors over the years for suspected sinus infections and the response is always "hmm, your blood pressure is a little high, have you tried losing weight?"
Or, my absolute favorite when I saw the nurse practitioner instead of the doctor I'd made an appointment with:
Me: My eye is feeling a little puffy and fevered. I'm worried I have an infection.
NP: *looks at eye, checks BP*
NP: Your blood pressure is high.
Me: Yes, I'm trying to lower it by eating healthier and exercising more.
NP: You should go on medication.
Me: I've already discussed that with the doctor. He agreed that I could try without medication first. My BP is lower than when I was here last.
NP: You should still go on medication. You also need to cut down on drinking, smoking, and red meat.
Me: I'm a vegetarian (that should be in my chart) and I don't drink or smoke.
NP: Well, you need to cut back or your BP will remain high. You can go now, but schedule an appointment to come back in a month.
I did not go back, and scheduled an appointment with my optometrist instead.
Note: I am trying to lose weight, but I'm not capable of cooking my own meals on a regular basis at the moment (thanks, covid) nor exercising on a regular basis (again, thanks, covid), and my partner is convinced that food will make me feel better, so losing weight is hard right now. I am getting better, but it's slow going.
As a trans woman, it's the same shit. It's people exercising their power to control our bodies, health, and wellbeing. The specifics change, but the root is the same. As far as I'm concerned, you are more than justified in seeing this as the same struggle. When you don't fit the mold that society dictates, everyone who disagrees with it can and will find any avenue they can to make your life harder. Be that from fatphobia and body shaming, or from transphobia, or any other bigotry.
Brilliant. This has opened my eyes a lot. I am one of those nonbinary types. I am comfortable being that way, despite struggling within my own doubts as to whether I am trans or not. I saw a specialist and she asked the question about gender dysphoria. She was trans herself. It helped a bit to actually discuss it without an audience (or in front of other group therapy patients who were naysayers, who often taunted me)
@@Zuranevenot gonna lie if your partner is feeding you in spite of your weight loss attempts, that sounds a bit perverse, unethical even. I'm sure he/she means no harm but actions speak louder than words
I am the mother of a trans man in Canada. Getting him on testosterone when he was 16 was so quick and easy that it actually was a bit concerning to me. Just because it seemed like such a big change. The only criteria was that you identified and lived as that gender for at least 6 months. That's it. Top surgery is also fully covered. I believe bottom surgery is also covered, but there are limited places to get it done, so it would involve travel, but that's it, it's no big deal. Getting his name and gender changed was easy peasy, no doctor required. Nobody has ever given him a hard time about it. All the doctors and schools, when I tell them his pronouns, just respect it and move on, like it's no big deal (because it is no big deal). We're so lucky here.
definitely depends on where you live in Canada because health care is provincial. Where I am in canada, getting surgery for anything that isn’t considered “life threatening” is a ridiculous waitlist. A family friend of mine had a surgery to remove a cancerous tumour delayed for over a year. Eventually she passed away from the cancer that they could have saved her from. Unfortunately the doctors never thought it was urgent so they put it off. Most unfortunate is that my family friend is not an oddity. This kind of thing happens all the time. When I share this story with people in my community, they usually can relate with someone they knew that passed away as a result of the neglect in the health care system. So I would not say we are super lucky here. You need a good family doctor to advocate for you. And most Canadians don’t have a family doctor
Respectfully, I'm Canadian and this feels like another world you're talking about.
@@Amy-fr7cw I'm incredibly sorry to hear about your family friend. I wish every day our system was not so terribly broken. It's hard to not give up even trying to work within it.
@MyPrinceRo I guess maybe we've been lucky, or oblivious.... I should be clear, we've received no negativity, but I'm very aware of the political climate and I am scared for him. I do think it's safer being a trans man than a trans woman, some men just seem to be really threatened by the idea of trans women.....
@@MyPrinceRo it occurs to me that it might also be because he's disabled. He's autistic and although he's high functioning, he's definitely not independent. So I'm pretty much always with him when he's out and about.
I'm in the US.
My wife was bleeding out slowly, it was like a period that would never end. We didn't know what was going on, just that she was getting weaker and her abdomen was swelling. She wasn't pregnant (we are both female, cis lesbians) and it wasnt making sense. We would take her to the hospital but they would make sure she was stable as required by law and that's it. No tests, no MRIs, just "she's not going to drop dead right now so send her home, it's just dramatic woman stuff"
The state of Tennessee where we lived opened up a healthcare lottery. They literally would announce a phone number to call on the news once in a while and if you were lucky enough to get through, you could have the pleasure of paying hundreds a month for state private insurance. One day, I got through, and she got health care.
Turns out she had a tumor the size of a nerf football on her ovary and it had to be removed immediately. I was so scared she would die. We split up shortly after she got better, but I'll never forget how scared for her life and angry I was at society for allowing this.
Healthcare should be a right, and when we have it, we should all be treated with dignity and taken seriously as any cis white guy would.
Sorry to hear about the medical and marital troubles, I swear our system is rigged against women.
American straight cis man with chronic medical problems here. I've had multiple partners have trouble with the medical system that I don't face because my problems aren't "women's problems". I just wanted to express support. This shit makes me so angry I can't think clearly while leaving this comment, and I'm not even one of the people directly affected.
wtf... thanks for telling your story
@@bluepapaya77 I have chronic health issues, and had trouble getting them addressed even before I came out as a woman. I guess now I get to experience being taken even less seriously than I was before.
Society didn't put a tumor on her ovary
The fact that, it part 9, abigail repeatedly asks “were you abused as a child” in almost the same way in the same tone each time is bone-chilling. Great performance.
I had a scottish GP tell me you dont treat ADHD in adults, you just learn how to live with it. Honestly no idea how GPs have a near-100k median and yet nurses are the knowledgable and reliable professionals. Disgrace.
This is so accurate! Also Scottish, my doctor has time and time again shown himself to be unhelpful or not understanding. Now when contacting the GPs office I ask to speak to one particular nurse, who is always more than helpful. As does my mother, as does my auntie. They’re so overlooked, but that one nurse has helped me so much, more than the actual doctor ever actually has.
i’m a trans man and i’m not even on the waiting list yet.
i’m in a transphobic family, for context. i was told after my family found a gofundme for my testosterone treatment that if i went through with it, i would be homeless. i reached out for support during covid from my gp and asked for the necessary documents for my transition to be emailed and NOT posted so i could fill them out without my parents knowing. nope. sent them right to my doorstep, i was one step closer to being in danger of losing my home because they couldn’t send me a fucking email. i ripped up the paper because my own mum said “this is not for you,” and am still waiting for the right opportunity to get on hormones or even consider surgery. all my trans friends around me are all apparently rich, and have started hormones privately. ALL of them. ALL OF MY TRANS FRIENDS. private. i’m stuck behind with no hope and no money to cover the cost of even consider going on a waiting list.
you’re absolutely right abigail, i feel i’m loving my life waiting for other people to approve of my existence. to approve me of being able to continue living my life. it’s exhausting; but i have no other choice but to just. continue. when i heard 19 years, i was gobsmacked. i was told 4 by friends that later went private. this video is fantastic, and thank you for giving me a reason to be angry and consider me 100% with you on this!!!!!
I haven’t seen anyone mention the fact that Ms. Abigail is dressed similarly to Amelia Earhart, which hit me pretty hard. People have found that she survived the crash and even was able to send out messages on a radio- which were dismissed as false alarms and then only heard by people who could do nothing
Wow…that IS profound!
I had no idea! Jez, that's so appropriate then.
and when you google it what do you see?
is this covered up on purpose?
@@Nestor__Makhno no, just that people didn't believe she could have survived, and that people were bigoted so they let her die.
Oh! I thought she was dressed similarly to Amy Johnson. Which would be in keeping with the WW2 RAF theme. Why do you think Earhart rather than Johnson?
Her delivery of "as a human being, i have a strong preference for my own survival" is devastating
i am a trans teenager, i live in tennessee and it's horrible. for those not aware, tennessee has banned all forms of HRT and gender affirming surgery for transgender people, and is currently trying to pass a law allowing trans people to be denied healthcare just for being trans. i am absolutely terrified. literally nobody is talking about it, i haven't even seen fellow trans people talk about how horrifying and deadly these laws are. thankfully, for me my parents are absolutely amazing and very supportive, and i will hopefully be moving to massachusetts (one of the safest states in the US for lgbtqia+ individuals) this summer for mine and my older sibling's safety. i can't even imagine how horrible it must've been for the trans people in tennessee that were forced to stop taking hormones. my heart goes out to any and all trans or non binary individuals struggling with transitioning and healthcare. thank you so much for making this video. even though i do not live in the UK, i am glad that i am now informed on this topic, and it helped me feel a lot less alone in what i am going through in my state. thank you
I'm a trans adult that's living in Massachusetts, and if you need anyone to talk to about life here, you're more than welcome to reach out to me via messages on RUclips. I've only been out a few years as non-binary, and been on testosterone less than a year as I write this. I wish that the things we get in Massachusetts weren't a privilege associated with happening to live in a place that's more accepting if you're queer or trans. I wish we could all choose how to live our lives. But please don't hesitate to reach out if you need any support.
im a trans guy who went on the waiting list last October. i felt like i was 'different' in high school, at 16. im now 20. last year i thought that the best way to rush the progress would be to take the biggest knife i have in my house and manually try and remove my own uterus. i just want to stop feeling the pain. the pain of my body being a constant reminder that i was stuck in a body that made me feel gross and uncomfortable. my family luckily has accepted me, except my sister-in-law who deadnames and makes my nieces do it to. {my brother is in the process of divorce/getting the kids} i hate that i have to wait for some phone call while im sat here bleeding from a part of my body i do not want. i just want to feel like me.
and thank you for sharing your experience it has told me what i should expect from the system that fails us.
(Update [4 months or so later]) I'm still waiting for the phone call. So now its been over a year. My sister-in-law has started calling me by my chosen name. I still am uncomfortable and disgusted with my own body, but i can ignore it a bit better now.
Dang... I'm sorry. Glad your family is there for you, though. If I may recommend: get an air horn. Every time the bint tries to be rude, give it a blow. I'm told it's a wonderful training tool.
Also, I don't know if you've tried it already, or if it's available in your area, but there's a form of BC called 'the shot'. Depo-Provera is a common brand name.
It's a quick shot in the arm every 3 months. And the effect it has for a lot of people is stopping periods. Unfortunately, it doesn't work for some.
I've been on it for about 3 years, for pain reasons, and it's been great.
Maybe it would help you a bit while you wait.
@@bleh329 I’m not your doctor but you’re absolutely not recommended to take depo provera for that long. It’s a black box warning medication that significantly decreases bone density.
i think this is more of a statement on healthcare than transphobia. My dad died while i was 14 because the doctors just gave him steroids for 8 months straight that damaged his lungs severely. Covid 19 then finished his lungs completely, combined with tuberculosis. He was only meant to take them for a month but the doctors kept on renewing them without checking and since my family arent that knowledgable about health care we didnt think too badly of it and i was too young to realise.
My friend has severe spouts of suicidal thoughts yet hes been on a waiting list for 8 months. I wonder if this countries healthcare system would cause his death too
@@nabilshah9184It’s both. They don’t want to give us healthcare because we’re trans and openly and deliberately make it harder for us to get even the chance at healthcare. Healthcare is already bad but they make it WORSE and harder for us because they don’t want us to get care. They do not care if we die if we don’t get treatment. They don’t care if we suffer.
I'm not trans, but I am childfree, and I have been trying for the past 4 years to get a referral for sterilization. There really is nothing so infantilizing as being told by a fellow adult that you don't know your own mind.
YES! I’m trans but spent years before I realised going to doctors. I saw the cost to go private and cried. It’s a deposit on a first flat essentially - either own your own home or own your own body, if you can even ever afford to choose. So fucked.
Yeah, that's fucking crazy
@@abcxyz2927 and? Pokemon are nearly 30 years old either you live under a rock or your a troll
Adults can still enjoy things like Pokemon
@@abcxyz2927 Why would you be so rude to someone you basically don´t know shit about just ´cause of some Pokémon videos?! It seems pretty clear to me who´s the actual immature one here...!
It is infuriating, my partner inquired and was told the same. Whereas I went to my GP (32yo guy) asked for a vasectomy and got one for free like 4 months later.
I'm about as trad, stereotypical male as they come. I was a paratrooper. I coach boxing. I smoke cigars and drink whiskey. And it is STILL beyond me why there's such cruelty towards trans folk. It's just none of anyone else's business. Why would it be? Why would you get in somebody's way when they're trying to get where they're convinced they belong? It's no whiskers off their chins.
I know it happens, I've seen it. But it seems like a lot of work to be that evil. When I was in the Army, we used to say that the Army prefers to "solve" the complainer, rather than solving the problem. This looks similar.
Well said mate, the fact people can spend so much time worrying about other people's private lives is a great shame. As you said it's no whiskers off their chin, which is a particularly apt metaphor in this case lol.
Use your platform to boost the concerns. You have the hugest leg up over anyone non-cis, not male, or not straight.
Hell, maybe have coaching classes for trans people, even if it's just a confidence workshop or something. I'd do anything for a mentor or coach in physical fitness and basic skills like not giving a fuck, lol.
@@finngswan3732 what don't you want to give a fuck about? Are you trans?
Based.
We need more people like you in the military and other places of power/influence. Keep on being awesome, brother.
That's because it's exactly the same problem. In the army, people who complain are trying to change a system which doesn't want to change. Which can't be changed without significantly impacting its capacity to carry out its function of maintaining global US hegemony. You have to crush the complainer, because if their complaint gets out and people understand why it was made, they will start asking questions which make the whole system look bad.
Same thing here. Trans people falsify patriarchy as a system by existing. So many power structures depend upon the assumptions of patriarchy being true, though, that they become a threat to all of those power structures. So trans people are characterized as enemies of society and culture rather than people...because in a twisted way, they are. The existence of trans people threatens the status quo. People who see that trans people are people who deserve to be treated like people are liable to ask other questions of those systems, questions which cannot be so trivially denied. The problem isn't that trans people threaten this system. It's that the system deserves to be threatened for what it does to everyone, including trans people.
The weaponized incompetence in the medical system combined with the gaslighting is so exhausting, thank you for ALLLLLL of your emotional and physical labour in this video!
the line "Given that human beings can change sex, do you want to?" was the thing that finally cracked my egg a few months ago.
Thanks, Abby.
“A little technique in business philosophy called lying”
This quote is my favourite.
I'm a trans woman for Southern California, publicly perceived as the "safest place for trans people in America". While this may be true, that doesn't mean that it's good. When I started HRT, I was forced out of my home and have been houseless for a few months. I went to my Universities Financial Aid and explained to them my situation. I was told
"Maybe you shouldn't transition"
These words have always stuck with me. I hope that one day life is better for us.
i am a trans guy and also live in socal. it's painful that it's still so difficult to get hrt or treatment in general here, where it should be so much easier than everywhere else.
@@lostbattalion1485 I agree. I hope that you are happy, loved, and safe my friend
Ironically, I've had a drastically easier time accessing the transition care & queer community network I need here in a deep red rural county, and have gotten more support from the general (conservative) community, than I ever did in or from the "liberal utopia" of SoCal. Orange County is one of the most racist bigoted and hellish places I've ever been forced to live. There's a reason that Rage Against The Machine's members are from Orange County
@@birdsforbrains2 its because some would prefer to see man + woman couples then have to be around gay men
these ghouls may as well have said "maybe you should d*e". I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.
transphobia, fascism are grim blights of an ideology and I hope we can defeat it, somehow.
That little bit, towards the end..."survivor's guilt" is where I rationally understood the overwhelming guilty feeling I had carried through the period towards the end of when I stopped taking my HRT years ago. For years I struggled with that guilt and trying to walk through the corners of my "soul" to understand it. I have recently restarted my HRT, in hopes that the ghosts of my trans siblings rest in power yet. May we all become bioluminescent for those who lose sight in the darkness of this life.
The nhs refuse to operate on the herniated discs is my neck leaving me almost entirely bed ridden for the last 15 years. This op is done everyday in the US and has fairly quick recovery time. I’m in permanent relentless agony. It’s ruined my life. I’m utterly miserable. The system is absolutely broken. 😞
Im really bumbed out to hear that:/ hoping for you to get better dear stranger
Dehumanizing a group is the easiest way to establish and maintain bias, fear and hatred. Its frustrating to have to share your pain publicly, but putting a human face on trans issues seems to be the only way to break through to so much of the public and elicit some actual empathy. I saw an interview with a hard right politician who actually supports the trans community, and he said that he changed his mind after volunteering on a suicide hotline and talking (for the first time) with some trans people in crisis. Thank you for sharing your personal story. It means so much.
Ik i’m two months late but that must’ve required a lot of dedication, especially with the desire to volunteer at a suicide hotline in the first place. Hopefully he’s trying to get some people on his side to garner a fraction of the sympathy and motivation he has/had into making trans people’s lives better!
who is it?
@@carmoonaish Mike Hock
Once a month, every month, here in the great state of Arizona I go to get my HRT (and anti-depressants refilled. My pharmacy says "We can't do it, your doctor won't let us".
Every month, I go to my doctor and ask them to give permission to the pharmacy, so I can get my medicine that is prescribed to me.
Every month the doctors office tells me to ask the pharmacy, I come into the office in person, with a written request from the pharmacy. They ask me to ask the pharmacy to fucking FAX the request to the doctor.
Every month they get confused, the front desk ladies who will keep this job for one month redirecting me up and down the street the two offices are on. I walk back and forth, three, four times. Getting requests for requests and papers to give to people so I can get papers to give to other people.
This has been the state of things for three years now.
Every month I have to fight the bureaucracy. I have been denied my HRT and anti-depressants for weeks at a time, to the point that I ration the anti-depressants not taking them on the easier days, and don't take the HRT before my blood tests, that way they'll give me more than I need so I can have extra when they inevitably deny it to me while they push papers around.
Don't get me wrong, it doesn't even come close to this British bullshit, they gave me HRT like 2 weeks after my gender dysphoria "diagnosis". Still, so much of my time has been wasted by this system that should have been smoothed out years ago
I too live in the Grand Canyon state. My experience has not been like yours at all. I'm so sorry for all the suffering and frustration you have been going through. Please, if at all possible for you, look into seeing Dr. Randy Gelow. He's a fantastic GP that specializes in LGBTQ+ healthcare. He and his staff are wonderful.
I feel this so hard. I'm currently several weeks without hormones because the system is rigged against us.
Sorry they are so shitty to you.
Hi, fellow Arizonan here, this fucking sucks and I hate to live in a world where someone would have to go through this nightmare. Just remember that even if you are presented with a reality that is factually bleak, there are people who love you are and willing to fight for you. Even if we are outside of your eyeline.
I just wanted to say:
1) I'm so sorry for all trans folk going through this.
2) Love of Blahaj whizzing past my eyes in the section on Dysphoria made me smile.
THIS IS IT I'VE FINALLY FOUND IT THE FIRST VIDEO ABOUT TRANS PEOPLE THAT WHEN YOU HIT NEWEST ON THE COMMENT SECTION ISN'T A BUNCH OF TRANSPHOBES HOW DID YOU DO IT THIS IS INCREDIBLE
Unfortunately extreme content guidlines and blacklists. It's a shame they (as in the Philosophy Tube team, I can only assume it's a team) have to put in so much effort to keep the comments civil.
Last week my 70 year old friend broke her hip and lay on a trolley in a corridor for two and a half days. Before the ambulance came to pick her up they had to wait nine hours for its arrival. She was in agony and has Severe Dementia. Her husband had to witness this, after paying his taxes all his working life. The NHS is not fit for purpose. I hope you get your treatment soon. I hope all your hard work making the film helps to make a difference. I'm sure it will make a lot of difference to people in your community that have the same problem trying to be treated. This is so sad. You have done really well, hang in there girl! xxx
recently i fell off my bike with my neck directly on the handlebars of my bike (the end of them). spent 9 hours in a&e alone waiting to be seen (i’m 18) and finally left at 4am. people have died from similar injuries
I remember being diagnosed with ADHD took a whole year to get done.
99% of that time was me waiting for letters or waiting for letters to be sent to other people to send letters to me.
I also had a ‘oops we didn’t send it’ moment where I waited 10 weeks only to realise my letter “fell through the cracks” so I needed to do the entire process again and wait another 10 weeks.
It’s fuckin morbid.
I had my one year anniversary today of asking for a diagnosis for autism. That's after two years of asking for a referral to the mental health services. It's exhausting; every meeting is more paperwork, oh we lost this, go find that, go do that. It feels heartless.
Yeah, great system. You need help with ADHD, so follow through on this long list of requirements and remember your appointments.
A lot like saying "Oh you need knee surgery? Just jog up that mountain path."
@Chris Lauderdale Ironically my dad needed 2 knee surgeries because he fell down a mountain 💀. (He was on a bike and the slope was steeper than he thought, and he ended up tearing something)
Im Canadian and I was told the same, that it would take forever. But then I told my family doctor and he just kinda said "yeah sounds about right" then gave me a prescription for Concerta. Apparently the whole diagnonsis route isnt obligatory anymore, but a lot of people including health profesionnals seem to either think it still is or prefer people go through even if the system cannot carry it out in the time necessary.
I'm American, and for a while they were running under the theory that I had a hearing problem. No fucking joke, they mic'ed my teacher, and put a tiny speaker on my desk, and I was 7 years old.
I was finally diagnosed at 15, and started medication... at 22.
I'm now 30, and trying to put my psychological pieces back together.
I'm cis man in Chile. I know some trans people. I empathize a lot. I learned about all of this like 8 years ago, when I was 23. Honestly. Thank you for the quality content, the way you put yourself forward for us to learn. It doesn't impact me in any direct way. I'm not british, nor trans. But I feel since I've encountered your channel, I have had so much to think, to reflect, to look and humble upon. It helps a lot to, as you said, squat over the mirror and look onto my own.... ideology. I can't thank you enough for this video, for your effort. I sincerely hope for you and everyone the best. I will try to keep all these lessons with me to give my own grain of sand to the world when it comes to trans rights and more.
Again. Thank you for this.
Your comment is so lovely, thoughtful, and empathetic
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!? They seriously ask you “how do you masterbate?”!!!?? And “what do you think about when you masterbate?”!!??!!?.. THAT IS BEYOND UNCALLED FOR!!! How humiliating! Ugh, I am so sorry to anyone who has had to go through being asked those questions just to get healthcare😡 1:10:38
US Texan here. I have had a harder time getting testosterone WITH AN ACTIVE PRESCRIPTION than stimulant ADHD medication, which is in a more restrictive legal category (though I don't approve of the restrictions on ADHD meds either). I've joked about it being a "Voight-Kampff test" to pick up my meds because I feel like I have to prove my worth every time.
And when my pharmacy ran out of T despite knowing my dosage schedule, I had to go through weeks of mood instability and physical pain.
I was told to contact another pharmacy. They had some and were only a short drive away. But then the pharmacist's tone changed. He told me that he couldn't give me the medication because of the legal restrictions on testosterone, and I could hear in his voice that he KNEW he was being legally compelled to do harm. I won't say it hurt him more than me, since he wasn't the one deprived of the only mental health medication that's ever worked for them, but he didn't just sound disappointed-he sounded _guilty._
He was the only one in the entire process who seemed to understand that I didn't just want this as a nice-to-have like my favorite cereal, it is a crucial piece of my function. The rest ranged from confused to blustering to condescending.
Decriminalizing testosterone is a human health issue. My medical care should not be diminished and restricted because of sports doping.
i work (well, worked, i quit bc i have a major ethical issue with retail pharmacies) as a pharmacy technician for a while. we can absolutely transfer testosterone in texas as long as it's been filled once before at the pharmacy that originally received it. same with any other cv-ciii prescriptions. the only ones we can't transfer are cii (think adderall and hydrocodone)
It’s actually terrifying how bad it is. For months, my son had been having issues. Lethargic, sometimes unresponsive, losing weight. I pleaded to see a doctor but they would only ever do over the phone consults. And they always said ‘keep an eye on him’. Phoned the non emergency line 111 and they told me to take him to the kids A&E. That’s when we learned that he’s diabetic and was close to a diabetic coma. Hearing my son crying in confusion because we had to get fluids in him and sitting in a hospital for several nights while he got his strength up - not even able to play his switch…it was heartbreaking and terrifying. And the sad thing is, the doctor told us that it’s becoming more frequent that things that should have been picked up by a doctor are instead being dumped on their doors. He’s fine now - weight back up and back to his energetic self and we’ve all the support from diabetic nurses. Just not our doctor.
holy shit.
Look at the positive side, at least your not American.
@@jacobrzeszewski6527 The difference is that our tax pays for the NHS in the hope that when we have healthcare, we can get it when we need it. So everyone has it for free and not be afraid of getting sick. I don't feel that way anymore because I don't know if my doctor will even see me anymore. And the only alternative is to go private.
@@haydengrayson6284 it happens more than you think
A friend of mine's son went through this, in and out of a&e being told to keep an eye on him. He almost died of T1D because the GP surgery and A&e wouldn't listen. It was heartbreaking seeing her kid suffer like that needlessly. Glad your son is doing better now, I am so angry for your son who whose cries for help was ignored by his doctors.
I'm a CIS woman who for unknown reasons only developed one breast during puberty. This obviously caused me significant mental distress. I finally went to my doctor about it, was seen by a local specialist, scheduled to see another specialist at a plastic surgery hospital in another trust, missed this appointment due to public transport issues, had a rescheduled appointment, then received my surgery. This all occured within the space of four months, and the only thing I paid for was public transport to get me to my appointments. They have the resources, they just don't want to give them to trans people.
the double standard of cis people receiving gender-affirming care way, way before trans people are even considered is absolutely insane. i am happy you received the care that you needed to feel right, obviously, i just wish that it were universal.
My aunt had spinal arthritis, she couldn’t stand up she couldn’t lie down, she couldn’t move. She called the nhs again and again and again until they prescribed her morphine. It took about 2 years to finally get surgery, which involved her crying down the phone hundreds of times.
My mother had cancer and a heart stent put in. When the nhs operated on her they infected the area they operated on. They denied for weeks that it was infected (it was fucking purple) and this resulted in myself, then a 12 year old becoming her primary carer.
Myself, at the age of 14 suffered an infection for over a year, I couldn’t walk, but I was on the waiting list for months.
Im a 19 years old French cis men. One of my best frisnds is a 16 years old trans boy. I have, because of education and personal experience, a hard time understanding trans people.
Your videos make me a better trans ally, a better friend for who I consider my little brother, and inspire me to (quite unintuitivaly) become a better male role model for everyone around me, which also implies being more open and understand better the diversity of human perception and diversity.
So, tldr, thanks for making me a better person, Mrs Abigail Thorn.
Learning how to be more supportive and accepting for your best friend by watching actual trans people? Absolutely based. I hope you're able to get better at this supportiveness, all luck to you.
Thats great! :D
You dropped this 👑
@@skyfish77 Yeah, but what Abby said is less informative and revealing than listening to his actual friend. These videos aren't random snapshots into people's lives, or unfiltered thoughts. They're prewritten, produced, and edited for the sake of engagement.
Listen to your friends and don't expect any RUclipsr to act as a proxy for their individual perception, thoughts, and needs
@@11111110 sure, but it can help avoid incidental microaggressions, or just really akword questions, and it means you can skip (at least part of) the explanation step of bitching about a problem, it's not a replacement, but it *is* a good supplement.
Women in my family suffer from Endometriosis- my mom has wanted a surgery for years. Every Doctor said she needed her husband to agree - and to have had children. She'd had two, and my Father's full support- there was still pushback telling her she'd "regret" it.
No one outside of the person asking should enter into these choices.
We all stand to benefit when we demand that people are granted autonomy and respect for their wellbeing and their bodies.
Ask for it in writing that they are denying you this service. When you ask for that they usually change their tune as they can get sued for denying you medical services that you consented to. Well....most places.
I wanted to say I agree with everything in the video except for the part that it is easy for women to get hysterectomy. In many cases it is a very difficult process as stated in your comment.
Not going to lie, I always saw my self as pretty Liberal, and I got EDUCATED here, thank you for helping me dismantle my unknown misinformation and misplaced rage.
I had no clue how much I needed to see this as a 30 Yr old woman.
as I always say, a saying I borrow from great people, knowledge is power. never stop learning
When I went to see my family doctor to tell her I was trans, she gave me the same answer : wait a month and come back to tell me if you're still trans by then, and also booked me an appointment to a psychologist. A month later I came back, told her I was still trans (what a surprise) and she emailed the closest clinic and told me that they would call me back in a week or two. It has been 4 years... they never called me back and they never answered when I called them....
This really made me think of my mums experience with a Brain Tumour and her experience with GP's relating to it, They fobbed her of multiple times, claiming she was depressed, had low B12, its just menopause symptoms... etc. etc. Much later my mum was talking to a woman from a charity which supports brain tumour survives; she told my mum a story about how GP's don't have much training on the subject, so the charity created training, and emailed all the GP's in the trust the time and place it would take place, even bribing them with free food to attend. and guess what... no GP attended... none of them. All that wasted time and money.
Oh gosh that's so awful. I think I've heard a similar story before (though have no recollection of the subject), too. It's hard to imagine just, declining to learn how to help more people and reduce suffering. Because...?
Your poor mother... Wishing you and your family the best.
Nobody would attend training unless it was mandated. If it is digitized training then the attendance is even lower because they'll begin it... Then realize the training is budget videos and quizzes that lasts multiple hours to do "in your own time" but you are not paid to train, you are paid to do the work.
If you want to train you have to rearrange all your work but of course, people need you everywhere. There may be a backlog of work. Backlog because of staffing issues, funding, mismanagement etc. Backlog because managers think illogically like "9 women can birth a child in 1 month". It works on paper but doesn't work with the resources and support they have for staff.
People get it wrong with Doctors, they are have knowledge in different fields of medicine but are no specialists.
as a trans person from finland, this actually really spoke to me. finland is supposed to be this progressive country but our trans healthcare is stuck in a very similar position to yours. theres only 2 trans clinics in the entire country, both of them have insane wait times, and im seriously considering picking the clinic with the longer wait time simply because its described as "not as bad as the other one" (the other one, btw, is run by a gender critical person). ive actually gone through the trouble of trying to get help once already. it was humiliating and extremely stressful, and the only thing i got from it was an inconclusive diagnosis. in the medical system i am basically not trans enough to be trans, but i am also not cis. my god i am sick of this bullshit.
masentunut kättelyemoji. kumpi niistä kahdesta on muuten se paskempi? haluaisin välttää
@@Yoarashi mitä oon kuullu (ja koennut
@@unirytmi5020 kiitos 🙏 ja otan osaa
I'm a closeted trans person from Finland and this is honestly the whole reason I'm too afraid to come out. The "not trans enough to be trans, but also not cis" part seriously spoke to me, because I _know_ that they're not going to take me seriously and I genuinely don't think I could handle being doubted and questioned and not believed. It took me so *so* long just to admit it to myself, so the thought of someone just straight up thinking I'm lying hurts so bad
Joo, tää video todella puhutteli muakin. En asu lähellä Helsinkiä tai Tamperea. Olen niin vitun peloissani, että en tule saamaan hormonikorvaushoitoa pitkien jonotuslistojen ja transfobian takia, vaikka mahtuisinkin "sukupuoli dysforian" diagnoosin kriteereihin. Ei vittu se tekee ihmisen epätoivoiseksi.
Disabled cis person, I really liked the comparison between the concept of dysphoria and why abled people like the medical model of disability.
In actual disability theory, most of the people I know (and me) like a mixture of both. Because society could be as accepting as I would like, I'd still have pain and nausea etc.
Anyway this was a beautiful, interesting, rage-inducing (at the system) video.
It's fascinating how similar your experience sounds to trying to get diagnosed with a chronic illness.
i’ve never heard of the natural birth scandal in the uk, and that is utterly terrifying. i was an emergency c-section, and without it, me and my mom would have almost definitely died. my head was far too large to be a “natural birth,” and after trying to push in labor for a while, our vitals were dropping. when i was cut out, my head was incredibly misshapen and my parents always joke about me looking like one of the coneheads. (my head is fine now tho lol, baby heads are very resilient). it’s so scary to think about what if my mom was denied a c-section then. we’d both be dead.
brain too big /j
if i helps, babies have fontanelles for the express reason of having moldable heads for birth. my son was a conehead too. and his fontanelles just shifted naturally back into place on their own within like a day. they're like the seismic plates under the earth's crush except malleable. that's why people are so careful with newborn babies heads. they don't have the rock solid bone skulls that us adults have that are basically football helmets. they have softer and moveable pieces.
Exact same story here! Mum was labouring in hospital for two days before they deemed me stuck. I cannot believe any hospital would be okay with pushing zero c-sections, it's such a terrifying thought
Oh if they hadn’t given my mother a c section I would have asphyxiated. The umbilical cord dropped below my head and it was around my neck. Further I went down, more I choked. Emergency C-Section squad
This is why the Trans Law that we just got passed here in Spain is so, so important. Complete right to gender self-determination that eliminates the need for Gap's permission to access care or change your gender in official documents such as ID and passport. Hope UK follows the same path...
i haven't heard of this! i'm going to look into spain
@@niicespiice Unfortunately, it's very likely that the right will win next month's elections and they will quickly get rid of the Trans Law :(
The UK government is very stubborn and slooooooow so we’ll probably be the last country to follow in Spain’s footsteps
eu re bien! había escuchado que la ley en España en cuanto a identidad de genero estaba mal hecha, qué bueno que pudieron cambiarla para mejor :)
@@arielpintar8146no... Es la derecha que lo ha pintado como el final de la civilizacion. Curiosamente el sistema implementado es muy parecido al sistema que hay en Dinamarca, y que yo sepa, ahi la civilizacion sigue bastante viva y funcional.
This is the first time someone has convinced me to sign up for their patreon
Thank you!
I'm a woman who has never been believed for my pain. I got into an OBGYN for my ovarian pain, but due to my body not showing anything on any horomone tests (can happen, albeit rarely), I needed a transvaginal ultrasound. I'm a tiny woman with an extremely low pain tolerance, so that was a no go. I still can't get diagnosed with anything, and thus I can't get a hysterectomy, even if I'm in pain nearly every time I ovulate.
This isn't even mentioning my mental struggles. I can't get medications for insomnia because no one believes I have insomnia even if I have the symptoms and stuff that usually causes insomnia like depression and anxiety. And I haven't been able to get diagnosed with autism bcs of my fear from my last psychiatrist where he refused to even ask ME, the PATIENT, how the meds felt to me. The healthcare system is a bunch of bullshit usually
Just *listening* to this Kafkaesque nightmare was exhausting, depressing and enraging. I can't imagine the amount of emotional labour it took to write and film this, but thank you for doing so.
I’m not from the UK but when I tried to access trans healthcare in my country that’s the exact word that I used, it was absolutely Kafkaesque.
@@zoeybarter3246 Which Kafka story do you find the most Kafkaesque?
@@gethelp6271 Probably ‘The Trial’. You’re thrown into an inefficient and unending system with little understanding of why you’re there and all the responsibility placed on you
'Emotional labour' 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@Unholylemonpledge Christ, it's another sigma male that thinks emotions and their expression are invalid lmao. Get a bit more vulnerable than this and you'll just have a target instead of a face.
As a disabled Australian person, the "strategic inefficiency" part resonated so much with me. This sounds like trying to get essential health and welfare services from Centerlink and NDIS Providers. They want their service users to die on the waiting list so they don't have to help anyone.
Centrelink is basically synonymous with strategic inefficiency
im also australian and disabled and i have to thank you for bringing up the dsp, i have so much anger for whatever events that have transpired to sculpt that system into what it is. its absolutely cruel.
Every time I have to deal with Centerlink they seem to get worse and worse, it's almost incredible how difficult they make even the most basic of processes
Veteran Affairs (DVA) has the same problem. We either drown in the years long process, or opt for the easy resolution... suicide.
@@trudi1962 Can sympathise. I hear the assessments and questions they want at the DVA is just as bad as an NDlS plan review. Such a meandering circus of hoops like "jump, peasant, jump!"
I am going to be saying this as a CIS white male so please take it with a grain of salt, I am not from the UK either...
You kept your composure really well and I saw how painful it was in your eyes and I can only hope in the future it will switch from medical based questions to as you say "informed consent" to reduce the wait and embarrassing questions.
Thanks for showing me this.
As a disabled nonbinary person I loved how you used the, very accurate, description of how abled people try and (not) view us in the context of dysphoria and trans existence. It's painful how much it matches but what a great way to put it for others.
Beautiful video, thank you so much for making it!
as a trade union organiser, the phrase “strategic inefficiency” hits down to my BONES. i swear that half of my job is just fielding wilfully incompetent and/or unresponsive HR and managers, when all im usually doing is asking them to abide by the legal document that they (in part) negotiated and AGREED TO ADOPT. it’s not difficult to not treat your workers like shit, especially when you have a hundred plus page long document detailing exactly how to respect their rights and entitlements.
I have also commented on NHS's strategy to keep as few people from medical care as possible. It is not about manpower, it is not about resources, it isn't even about influx; it's about following a mandate that the government in earnest does not believe in and has created a failed system to appear to look like its functioning.
Being a union organizer is a great job but doesn’t the government already give people the right to quit there work whenever there is dangerous working conditions. plus union dues cripple the workers individual economic freedom. the workforce at least hr and moving up doesn’t seem to favour people who stay in one place but people who work hard towards finding positions in which they will be compensated better
@@clearcontentment3695 When presented with dangerous working conditions, there is a significant number of people who have two options: 1) Continue working but risk their life on the job. 2) Quit working and risk losing housing, or food, or utililities due to an unfavorable job search. In other words, quiting would be just as risky if not moreso than losing a job, especially when one is caring for a family dependent on the income generated by that job.
@@clearcontentment3695 lol someone's quoting their workplace's union busting agenda I see.
That sounds beyond infuriating, kudos to you for doing the work!
As an NHS doctor I just want to say how profoundly sorry I am that we are failing you and so many other people right now. To be honest, it fills me with deep shame and rage. Shame because of having to represent this brutality and because I know how much better it could be. Rage because of the indifference and ignorance of so many of my colleagues and bosses and because of how powerless I can feel.
I have to own that I thought it was a resource issue. Of course I’ve seen the bigotry, and I agreed that ultimately it shouldn’t be pathologised but rather seen as a part of life that sometimes requires medical support, like pregnancy and labour or ageing. I still think that mental health problems are often entangled with being trans, for obvious socio-political and psychological reasons, and I think a role for a doctor to support for those who need it. However I don’t think I realised how much I relied on the resource problem as a screen to hide the fact that the system functions as it does, and as you say, that isn’t to help trans people. Thank you for putting forward such an elegant and personal argument for an alternative better system. You’ve really made a masterpiece of this form that you’ve created. I’ll be sharing this with people I know in GD services.
I agree with Benji’s comment completely, and just wanted to add that as an NHS A&E doctor who has a trans partner I often feel as if I’m working with the enemy when I go to work and come up against the bigotry and ignorance of some of my colleagues. I’ve taken to trying to pick up any obviously trans patients on the A&E tracker first so they see me instead, but I wish I didn’t need to feel that was necessary. I think my A&E is a good one, but I’d never let my partner go to my workplace alone, and that says it all really.
@@Sparrowarah Act like you're a spy in the service. Collaborate w/ activists, they can do the heavy lifting if you're willing to provide inside details
Based
at some point in the video she says that GPs in other countries can just give the hormone blockers, hormones or send you straight to the surgeon for procedures (and compated apples to oranges as in compared nonurgent/nonemergent surgical procedures to some that are elective, and btw I mean these by the medical terms), I am in USA but don't get the issue on this part unless it is a kid racing to block puberty (which would then be a pediatrist in USA not sure UK), this is done for other conditions of the same nature, a GP refers to a specialist, then once the specialist starts a plan the GP can continue it with less frequent visits to the specialist (as the specialist deems it), doctors in those other countries must have some immunity to getting sued, the problem seemed to be on that asshole GP she had and that meme of a gender dysphoria center they were running
Funny how I see a lot of doctors in these comments saying how sorry they feel, but none of them say anything about planning to change how they practice.
As a cisgender woman who suffers from adenomyossi that could be sorted by a hysterectomy - a. it took 7 years for GPs to acknowledge my pain and investigate, leading to my diagnosis
and b. having doctors refusing hysterectomy treatment due to my age and “i might want to change my mind”. So it’s not just gender affirming care, the whole NHS is collapsing and patients are struggling as a result
I'm polish, and I've been struggling with hypogonadism(not being able to produce testosterone I'm man btw). My parents pretty much told me I'm imagining it even when I didn't hit puberty by 17 yet. So as I've earned my first money and knew exactly what I was looking for because of extensive medical research online, med books and med articles I've got full overly extensive bloodwork, daily cortisol levels from saliva(because I have fucked up line of pituitary gland-adrenal gland-testicles) and mri with full description what is pretty done and said wrong with me I went to andrologist with PhD that told me I have no idea what I'm talking about. Told me I need to do exact same bloodwork but less extensive and come back. I did it, she then reffered me to shit load of general tests about my health that are in no way corelated with my condition. This gehenna took over four and half years being miserable obese, low energy and much more since I've got my first t shot.
Now I'm pretty good, but if I think about other men that have to jump through those hoops to get hormone they need and their body doesn't produce I'm really sad for them. I could say that my condition is somehow similar to your in video, since you're UK based, but in Poland trans folks have it way worse and I hate it.
I'm sorry I hate GP's with a passion.
I went in with an inner ear infection, listed my symptoms with my father present. They said no, that I just had an inch in my ear and to come back in a weeks time.
Next week, its gotten worse, my ear has swollen up, they told me I was still wrong and that it was only an outer ear infection. Gave me a perscription.
It was a wrong persription. That perscription was not in use for the last decade, it did not exsist.
Had to wait 3-5 days to get the correct prescription.
Surprise, it did nothing.
We went back to the GP, my dad furious has a go at the doctor tells him I have a clear inner ear infection. That then GP denied any of the symptoms I descripbed in the 1st session. Saying none of them were in the notes that he recorded. Blantant lies.
My ear drums burst, and one collapsed I now rely on hearing aids. My dad drove me to A&E crying hes eyes out, I had obviously passed out and was just bleeding out of my ears. My dad feared a brain annerum or something awful.
It's GP's that are the issue, my care with Audiology has been amazing. My treatment in A&E was 10/10 when my ears burst.
They just refuse to help you, say your overdramatic or wrong or your making it up for attention.
The fact, trans people experience this during the most important part of their life is ridicious. I lost my hearing, they are essientially denying trans people from becoming their true self, which can lead to suicide :(
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you had such a shit experience, GP's really seem full of shit and pure hatred
I'm glad your dad was there for you, and I hope you have a good start to the new year. Stay strong!
they just seem to think they’re so much better than the average person, that smimey attitude they have.
when i first went to mine for my, what we later found out was, severe migraines i was exhibiting seizure like symptoms whilst having them & i felt completely ignored.
maybe it’s because i was a teenage girl, but i felt like they thought i was being dramatic & overreacting about them. i finally got a diagnosis & medication but it still doesn’t work all the time.
Jesus fucking Christ. The GPs were too lazy to do proper tests and give you the correct medication and you lost your hearing? For the rest of your life? And it was completely preventable? That’s fucked. So fucked. I can’t stress how fucked I think that is. There has to be some sort of legal action you can take against that GP because that’s fucked beyond belief.
Sorry for my long story but your comment really resonated with me
For me, I was born without depth perception. I saw faint doubles of everything. It's like wearing 3D glasses all the time for everything. It was confusing and scary, but I eventually learned to sort of "live with it".
Life fucking sucked. Simple things like picking a cup of a table were a challenge, I'd often knock them over. Eating food with a knife and fork was tricky cause id often knock it off the plate or not be able to accurately assess where the tool was in relation to my mouth.
Constantly walking into doorframes, smashing my face into cupboard doors, knocking things off shelves. PE in school was a fucking humiliation circuit. Every single week my mum would come down, show them my medical record
"Please don't make Paul play coordination based sports, he doesn't have depth perception"
Nope. Onto the field you go for another game of rounders where you can't tell how far away the thrower is, where the ball is or where your arms are so all the kids can point and laugh at you for another hour.
Every time I went to the opticians the opticians would scratch their head looking at my results on their fancy tools.
The solution was so simple you wouldn't believe it. I needed a corrective lens to basically refract one of my eyes a fraction of a degree. Very straightforward. Didn't require a surgery, didn't need a specialist. Literally all I needed was my GP to write a letter to the optometrist at our nearby hospital to book me in for a proper eye scan of some kind.
Optician sends me to the GP with a letter.
GP says "we'll sort it"
GP "forgets to send it"
GP "couldn't find the letter"
GP "hasn't heard back yet"
Did I wait a month to see the world as everyone else does?
No.
Did I wait a year?
No.
Two?
No.
Ten?
No.
Twenty three. Twenty three fucking years of biweekly appointments, thousands of emails, over 250 appeals to our local hospital.
And when I'm 24 years old I get a call from the optometrist that they have a pair of lenses ready for me to collect.
I couldn't believe it, punch me, slap me, tell me I'm not dreaming.
I go to collect them with my Fiancée.
I just sit in disbelief, holding them in my hands.
When I put them on the first time and looked forward everything was terrifying, it was like a horror movie seeing the world "normally" without a ghostly second image overlaying the first.
Then i look at my fiancée and I see their face properly for the first time without having to squint and concentrate really hard to try and focus one image out.
I ended up sobbing on their shoulder for around an hour.
It took 23 years of us practically begging every other week for a quarter of a century for me to get glasses that it took the hospital about 6 hours to make.
If the GP just actually DID THEIR FUCKING JOB it would have saved me a lifetime of anguish and humiliation. I would have been able to properly see how beautiful my fiancée was the second I met them rather than EIGHT years later.
My friends have all been drivers for close to 7 years now I think, and I can FINALLY think about getting lessons now that I have my lenses. It feels like a dream come true. Every time I take my glasses off, I see the world in two again and it's a reminder of basically the torture my GP willingly put me through for 90% of my life because he just could not be fucked to write a single letter to a colleague.
@@paulrudd1483 I would if I was was you just people know at that surgery or have that GP.
They do not get it. They don't even think about it, oh its just an email I forgot to send, and perscription I did wrong etc etc. Weaponized incompenance. They do not see how their laziness can affect a life. Ever.
When I was 21, I went in to my old GP Surgery with my grandmother. We never saw eye to eye, but she was utterly deverstated when I got told I needed hearing aids at 21 years old. She has to wear hearing aids since she was 18 because a bomb went off near her home when she was a child and she lost the majority of her hearing.
She dragged me in there, and demanded to see the GP in question that caused my hearing loss. We already tried reporting him and complaining but unless you sue, which I didnt want to do they don't really care.
She stood there for an hour, and properly laid into him. About the whole thing. Utterly destroyed him. I got to admit it, she went full Karen. Several other patients started chipping in that were there that were his patients as well.
Turned out it wasnt an "one off" thing with me. He has been doing it for years with other patients too.
I got scared because it was a group of like 15 people ranting and yelling at him, the majority were elderly but the GP surgery had to ask everybody to leave and shut for the day. Police arrived everything.
He's still working there, but he has the least amount of patients because its known in our town how useless he is. My grandma was very active in the community and the majority of people know she does not do BS she worked in the army deaf from 20 years old and was very liked too.
All it did, was give him his wage with half the amount of work.
The NHS will never admit a mistake with the GP Surgerys ever.
But it was nice seeing my grandma stick up for me (at a time we didnt even like each other) and I'm glad the majority of our town knows he is useless and to get a second opinion if they have to see him.
The questionnaire that I had to fill out before my first gender clinic appointment was horrific. A question from it that I have always remembered is “do you like to perform sexually as a woman?”. It took me a good while to realise what they were asking was if I receive during sex. I was like gee thanks for that extra shot of dysphoria guys, I totally needed to be told the way I have sex makes me a woman by the people who get to decide if I am allowed to transition or if I die. 🙃
I just love turning this into a homophobia issue. So you as a doctor are telling me there is no masculine gay guys in the world.
Makes me feel terrifed as a trans masc sexually repulsed ace.
@@fabianshedenhelm2986 I'm a trans queen basically
Jesus, thinking how many people had to agree that that wording was clear, ok and useful and they all said yes
Ugh that is so invasive! And I don’t think I would have gotten that that’s what they meant.
When I was 14 years old I noticed my left hip was completely numb; went to the doctor and he poked it for a bit, said it was very interesting and he had never seen anything like it before and he couldn't diagnose me with anything, and ended the appointment. Six years later it has turned into chronic pain that stops me from wearing pants, sleeping on my left side, etc. I'm never comfortable.
The chain of referrals is possibly the worst thing in the world; at any point someone can shut it down and send you back months, and you'll have to start all over again. I've watched it happen with everyone I know who's been in a similar boat, and it makes me so mad that one person can just ignore the time and money you have and assume you are lying, or exaggerating, and don't know your own body.
UPDATE: That course case lost.
"They are “target duties”. The obligation is
to make arrangements to secure that 92% of the cohort are treated within 18 weeks, not
to secure that outcome simpliciter. NHSE is required “to aim to make the prescribed
provision” and the legislative language “does not regard failure to achieve it without
more as a breach."
- Judge Mr Justice Chamberlain
This implies that this is the same for every nhs sector.
*The NHS is not legally required to do its job.*
Let me repeat
**The NHS is not legally required to do its job.**
My defintion of a `job` is regular predictable tasks in the day, with obvious and set targets. The Health Service, in its relation to patients, obviously cannot predict how many people come through its doors, and this is more so the case in Accident and Emergency. Then there`s something like Covid. Targets can be set, but all it takes is one motorway accident and that`s all forgotten...the main thing is to treat people in physical impairment quickly enough so they are on the road to recovery. That`s the main intention of the NHS, and very difficult to measure in `targets`
The part about using hypothetical regret as a reason to bar people from medical care really resonated with me. I'm a cis woman who has known for a while that she does not and will never want to be pregnant. Over three years ago I went to an OB/GYN about getting my tubes tied, who said "oh we don't like to do that for women under 30" (I was 26). Then I went to another OB/GYN who agreed to make the referral. Then the referral was denied by her hospital network for "religious reasons" because they're funded by Catholics. So she had to convince them it was "medically necessary." Then the referral was approved. Then the surgery center that I would be going to also had to approve the procedure, because they were also in the same Catholic-run network. So a committee had to review it, and that took weeks. Then it went to another committee. Which kept reviewing it. Every time I called, the answer was always "oh, we should have it finalized in a day or two." This also went on for weeks. Eventually we gave up on them entirely and went with a different hospital to schedule the procedure. I don't know how long I would have been waiting otherwise. At the hospital on the day of my surgery, less than a month ago, the anesthesiologist himself said I was "too young" to get this kind of procedure. THEN, afterwards, when I told my mother what I'd had done, the biggest complaint she had was "But what if you regret it some day???"
At every step of the process there was someone, either explicitly or implicitly, telling me that I didn't *really* want this thing I was trying so hard for. That the potential regret I might MAYBE feel about not being able to pop out a baby someday was more important than my desires for bodily autonomy, independence, and peace of mind. And I live in a US state which is one of the most accommodating and protective towards reproductive rights. What I went through is so comparatively easy to what you, Abigail, and so many others have and are enduring. It's awful.
I wish people would stop thinking they know better than us what we should be doing with our bodies. It would be a lot better for everyone if they did.
Catholics should not be allowed to be in charge of anyone's healthcare, obviously. Especially on religious grounds.
Sadly, purportedly non-religious doctors often ALSO object to women who want to pursue tubal ligation or claim to not refuse but somehow arrange to fail to deliver it.
Women's bodies are, unfortunately, still frequently argued over as if they are the property of others.
This happened to me too! Denied for years by every OB I had since I turned 18. Just got my tubes tied this year at 29, all because I had a great and understanding OBGYN when I moved to Austin. I also have PCOS with excessive hair growth that gives me a full beard, so I can relate to the feeling of dysphoria deeply even though I'm a cis woman.
Yes! That controlling A persons body is so anti-feminist that it strikes me that "so called feminists" deem denying trans Persons medical treatment they dont recocnize that as nearly the same as Birth control measurement.
makes me think of chatting with a colleague about abortion. she was against late term abortions, as the child is almost ready to be birthed and she had this image of people getting them offhand, casually. i tried to explain, most people going in for a late term abortion arent doing it as a casual move, theyve thought about it a lot and often have external motivations like health or money.
people getting invasive medical procedures done voluntarily generally have thought it through backwards and forwards, far more intensively than those moralising. why do people assume they have thought about consequences more than the person getting the treatment? its so strange
This! I really want to be unable to get pregnant cause its probably my greatest fear. Like just the idea of it makes my skin crawl and I KNOW I never want to get pregnant. But because I keep hearing stories like this I feel like theres not even a point in going to ask if it could be done cause they are just gonna make it a hell for me.
My partner is not trans, but does have numerous chronic health issues that leave her permanently, invisibly, disabled. So much of the rage in this video maps onto her experiences trying to secure care here in the US.
I was unaware of this facet of Ahmed's work, and need to check it out immediately. Thanks so much for helping me find words and structures to help my partner and I articulate this utterly shitty system and circumstance.
I'm in the same boat as your partner, and I couldn't agree more. This video was incredibly emotional and helpful
I'd say the situation is much worse in the USA. At least nobody faces financial ruin over healthcare in the UK and the notion of healthcare as a right is not regarded as "communist".
I was at a technical conference with Brazilian engineers and was amazed at how far the USA is to the right of even Bolsonaro's Brazil where healthcare is a human right.
Gender does seem like a sub-kind of bodily category. In which case it would seem like distinguishing gender dysphoria as a sub-kind of body dysmorphia is rational.
As a disabled trans person I only wish trans health care was only as difficult to get as for my chronic illnesses. It's waaaaaaaaaay harder.
@@capslockcapable1719 How is that relevant to anything, who's talking about socialism, the OP over there is saying they are having these problems in the US! Under capitalism!
Thank you so much Abigail for explaining the concept of strategic inefficiency! I've been trying to articulate this for months!
I felt like such a conspiracy theorist saying things like "I think they're using weaponized incompetence but like on a systemic level? It's so bad that it has to be on purpose" about the benefit office while non-disabled people gave me increasingly skeptical looks.
I felt so bad that I lied, and omitted facts, to get my gender dysphoria diagnosis. As if by lying I was admitting that I wasn't really trans and didn't deserve health care. It's something I now realize I have been quietly struggling with for the past year. Thank you for telling me I'm not alone, I didn't know this many people lied, for the same reasons that I did as well. Now that you've spelled it out like this, it makes so much sense, but I have trouble trusting my own senses. Probably because I had to navigate a system where no one else did either.
I've never met a single person who didn't lie during the diagnosis. You weren't deceptive or undeserving, you were just doing what we all do to survive
@@oiytd5wugho :)
"They ask you questions."
I remember my first visit to the Los Angeles Gender Clinic some time back in 2003. I was there to see the therapist whose role would be to evaluate me and then sign off on the documentation my endocrinologist would need to prescribe me estradiol. The therapist was a trans woman herself and I thought this meant she would be even more sympathetic, it was the reason I chose the Los Angeles Gender Clinic in the first place. Instead, she took half a session before looking me in the eyes and telling me that she did not feel I was a woman but that I should be happy since "gender is a spectrum" and I would find my place on that spectrum at some point.
I had been too honest about my androgyny, too honest about my masculinity, too honest in general.
It felt like a betrayal because the decision came from another trans woman. Fortunately, that sense of betrayal motivated me to find someone else and I did. My one true gender therapist wound up being a whipsmart and hilarious bisexual man who enjoyed crossdressing on the weekends. Not only did he understand that I could be androgynous or non-feminine and still be a trans woman, but he also empathized when I told him I did not want to do the 'Year of Full Time' we used to have to do before going on hormones because I saw no point in going through some arbitrary gauntlet as a prerequisite for treatment, and that I wanted to jump to hormones as soon as possible.
He respected the honesty and he listened.
I had those little blue pills within three months, bottom surgery one year after that (a different story involving a tense confrontation with a Thai psychologist who accepted bottles of whiskey as bribes), all as a gender non-conforming trans woman and butch lesbian at a time when the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care were still broadly in use.
I cannot fathom why, almost twenty years after that time, anyone is still being subjected to the kind of Kafkaesque bureaucracy described in this video. Even more baffling is that it seems to be even MORE difficult to access treatment than it once had been.
How justifiably maddening.
Love your story and love that you got away with it. I'm a mirror of you in some ways. People go how can you be non-binary if you still like makeup and skirts, they don't get that I'm trying to do this thing of my own. You know?
Yeah, I'm several (3-4) years in and still no surgery here in the US, it can be incredibly difficult to access care here
I imagine if it’s gotten worse, it’s because haters will go to extremes to deny the object of their hate, in this case trans people. things get worse before they get better. I think of the Wilde trials in Victorian Britain, and how it exposed gay people to worse treatment by homophobic people, until Stonewall in the 60s when they started fighting back. the fight for equality isn’t resolved yet, and it’s a constant back and forth like this. I read once that typically social change takes 200 years to enact, and it’s been maybe half of that time, so idk why people are always saying “I can’t believe [behaviour] is happening in [current year]”. it’s all a process, although tbf it is a maddening one.
Thank you for sharing your story.
@@esotericpince 😒
The use of Catch 22 and portraying yourself as the Yossarian as the only sane one in the insane system was such a poignant way of getting across this point. Beautiful work Abby
It would've been beautiful work, except for the glaring lack of integrity in historical accuracy. There were no WWII women captains or bombardiers - she had to bring politics into the Catch 22...
@@AnEntropyFan XD
This is the comment I would have made were it not already made ♥︎
This entire video also serves as a very good example, that "Hell hath no wrath like the fury of a scorned woman" is a saying very much based in reality.
Tried getting mental health help through the NHS.
After a couple months of waiting for an appointment, I got a 5-10 minute conversation where the "doctor" never actually bothered to ask what's wrong or if anything at all is, I got sent home, told to sleep it off, "we all feel a bit down because of lockdown" and "I'm too coherent to have problems serious enough to need fixing"
Regarding the double standard for cis vs trans people who want to get bits removed, I knew a woman who had to endure excruciating pain and possibly cancerous lesions on her testicles because (I presume) the doctors here in my state were uncomfortable with the idea of unintentionally giving her a gender-affirming surgery in the process of giving her a potentially life-saving one.
I'm speechless. Levels of cruelty of the doctors is astounding
@Keebs Before experimenting with tucking I researched how to treat that: The doctor essentially tries gently twisting one way, then the other if that does not work.
It is considered an emergency due to the lack of blood flow.
@Keebs that's horrible. Testicular torsion is no joke, genuinely so terrifying. And yeah, can usually be resolved without any serious work having to be done, but if it gets left then thats when it gets properly dangerous like what happened to your friend. Had my own experience with the NHS tryna get seen after it kept happening to me, till this day their advice was just 'if it happens again go to a&e', and so I just have to hope it never happens seriously. Very paranoia inducing, at least they actually saw me though.
There are a thousand little pitfalls for cis people who aren't performing gender "correctly", too. A cis woman friend of mine has suffered from back and shoulder pain since adolescence. About 10% of it is from an old injury that wasn't treated properly...but the other 90% is that the weight of her breasts pulls muscles and tendons out of alignment. She spent 20 years fighting to get breast reduction surgery--not a mastectomy, even, just a reduction. The first time she brought it up, she was 18 or 19, and the doctor replied, "I would never destroy God's masterpiece like that," while staring creepily at her barely-adult chest. Other doctors reacted similarly: she'd regret it later, whatever man she married wouldn't like it, why would anyone WANT to have a smaller chest, she was so beautiful the way she was ... anything to prioritize male enjoyment of her appearance over her own physical comfort. Because what's some permanent orthopedic damage compared to a nice pair of knockers, right?
She finally did get the surgery, after two decades of trying, and she's a lot happier and healthier. I've tailored clothes for her, and found to my surprise that we now have the same bust measurement, even though ... well, let's just say a small chest hasn't been one of my problems since I was 11 years old. Even if you assume that male pleasure is the highest priority in these situations, denying her the surgery for years is insane. But women aren't "supposed" to want smaller chests, no matter how much it hurts, so she was punished.
The lane of "acceptable" gender performance is impossibly narrow, even for cis people. The even narrower lane of "acceptable" transness makes me want to set things on fire.
@Keebs Absolutely. Due to a medical condition, I can't survive giving birth, and the baby would die soon after. And *I* can't get a hysterectomy, even though I inherited the problem that made my mother need an emergency hysterectomy when she was about my current age, because unlike my mom I'm not married and "what if your husband wants kids someday?" Kids I can't have! Kids that would result in either one or two caskets, dealer's choice! Apparently my hypothetical husband's hypothetical right to kill me in the attempt to pass on his genes matters more than my actual survival.
And the cherry on the top of all this? I exclusively date women. "Husband", my ass!
Abigail asked for the manager. And the managers manager. And the managers managers manager. To anybody too anxious too send this one confrontentional mail, let this woman be an inspiration. 👏
Weaponizing Karen-ness for good.
@@pugsondrugs5480 Being a Karen is about unnecessarily escalating, being unnecessarily aggressive, and generally being a twat.
This is far from Karening because it was all necessary.
Had a similar situation with getting a complaint about my mental health treatment.
Drop a complaint, no reply. Escalate. No reply. Try to escalate only to find out you're actually not allowed if the previous people didn't respond. How do you fix that? You write a complaint about the complaint. That got a response, followed by them presumably kicking the arse of the people who were originally complained to, who then sent me a response filled with falsehoods and apologies over me not getting a response. New complaint about the response to my complaint. Still waiting on a response to that.
I don’t know how much progress has been made since this video.. but I hope that things have gotten better. I am a transfem woman from the US, and I have had a very different experience from a friend of mine. My friend, who is also transfem, is a teenager from the UK. Right now, she is scared. Right now, she is stressed. And right now, most of all, she is UNCERTAIN. I didn’t understand why she was uncertain last week, when I talked to her about her transition.
I do now. Thank you for bringing this topic to light, Abigail, to someone who lives thousands of miles away from England. I now am going to do everything I can to help my friend from afar, until she gets the treatment she needs and far after that. She will not become another one of the thousands who were taken too soon from this world because of the negligence of others. This was a fucking incredible video. Thank you.
Transphobia is very insidious in the UK, often it's manipulated to seem like you're at fault or "unpolite" for complaining about it, TERFness is progressed quietly and they will deny it's transphobic at every stage (IE: our PM Rishi Sunak's " sex is sex, it's common sense" speech), I've met several ppl who were unnoticeable about even being transphobic until they realized I supported trans rights or was non binary, and even then they said it behind my back, you learn about it from others... It can make it scary to trust others
It’s not very improved to my knowledge. DIY HRT seems to be the best (and only for most people) option
worse, it got worse. of the 7 gender clinics one has now stopped accepting new referrals meaning there isn't a gender clinic in the north of England. I've basically accepted I'll never be seen by the NHS for trans stuff at this point. I'm trying to emulate what abbi did and annoy the NHS into treating me, but I don't expect it'll work.
There isn't a service for trans kids anymore, and the "new" service that's going to open for kids is going to force them to sign up for medical studies and only provide SOME of the kids with treatment even if they are eligible to "prove" if kids really need treatment or not.
@@tomo4977Christ that was 3 months ago??!!?!?
@@rfurthegamer3412 really weird, some reason my comment is missing and I can't see it 😭 I remember replying here but I can't remember exactly what hah, also agree with Katy, it's only getting worse rn :( really hope things will look up in this country
RESPECT!!! I am heterosexual an know zero lgbtq+ people. Discovering your channel i enjoyed it untill i discovered you are trans and i dis not know how to feel about it. My education was telling me that i should discriminate you even i know it is wrong.
But this video captivated my attention and convinced me not only that i am wrong but that you are the same as me, a beautyfu human being.
Thank you for your stoy, anger, your luck of being a woman and for changing my mind.
Again RESPECT!!!
I decided to have my tubes removed because I don't ever want kids. And since I don't have any kids already, I had to explain this to my doctors, surgeon and health insurance company, sign waivers, and had to endure a nonnegotiable wait time (for no other reason than to assure them that "I wouldn't regret it later") just to have my own fallopian tubes removed. I had to petition a bunch of strangers for control of my own body. At age 36. The medical gatekeeping has gotten so out of control!
Oddly enough, people who have given birth are more likely to regret sterilization. Yet, having kids is considered by medical professionals as something people should do before they are considered “good enough” to be approved the procedure
Doctors are sworn to do no harm, not to always obey their patients. I bet they get a non-zero number of people seeking procedures that will harm them. Some people have a variant of OCD that causes them to obsess over having fingers or limbs surgically removed. The doctors hesitated to tie your tubes for the exact same reason they would have hesitated to remove a perfectly functional arm.
Or how people with mental illnesses are often denied things treatments like sterilization, even though the patient’s reason for wanting sterilization is that they know that they would not be a fit parent, so they want to prevent unwanted pregnancies and the production of children that they aren’t fit to care for.
Yeah, it's messed up. In general, vasectomies are easier to get, though depending on one's age, also subject to a lot of regret-based obstructions. With the exception of disabled patients. My actual reasons for wanting a vasectomy as young as I had mine were a little more complicated, but when I made it clear that I was blind, suddenly they were a lot more obliging. Kind of fucked up.
If you don't want kids, why not just... not get pregnant? Or just abort if something truly unexpected happens? Maybe you'll want kids in 10 years or so, so why not just make sure you don't get pregnant while you don't have children, but not remove the possibility while it's still there? Doesn't make much sense to me unless abortion is illegal where you live or something.
As a transmasc person that started accessing trans healthcare in 2015, all of this is completely spot on. I finished my medical transition (as much as I wanted) last year. I did both NHS and private healthcare simultaneously as that felt like the only way to get treatment. I ended up starting testosterone and getting top surgery privately. And I was 'fast-tracked' through the system because I went to the children's gender services beforehand. My doctor did the same thing Abigail's did, with the 'come back in a month', then referring me to mental health services first. I was also asked EVERY SINGLE INAPPROPRIATE QUESTION Abigail mentioned within the video within the CHILDREN'S SERVICE IN FRONT OF MY TRANSPHOBIC MOTHER.
This absolutely hit the nail on the head. Thank you.
Wtf is transmasc?
@@diggysoze2897transmasculine
@@diggysoze2897 A trans person who is masculine.
@@diggysoze2897 Google
man or woman ?
Three years ago a friend kept trying to get an appointment.
After months of trying he was so concerned about how he felt, he went to A&E.
They told him he had cancer and would have had a chance to survive if it had been found three months earlier.
He died.
Thank you for making this.
I'm Canadian, I've been off HRT for a few months now because Ontario changed their policies around informed consent clinics.
It's... not been easy. I had only been on meds for barely over a year, but... my life was so much richer for that one single year. I had felt real happiness, which I hadn't really known at all in my life, and now... all because of one shitty person-...
I am on my way to getting my meds back, but this year has been the hardest of my life. I had tried to end myself a long time ago, and THIS is worse than a time when I wanted an end to my life.
I had known happiness and color, and now the world is back to being dark and lifeless. It's like I was shown a glimpse of real happiness and then was thrown onto the ground and told I couldn't have it anymore. For no real reason at all. Because one person had an opinion on something that effects them in no way shape or form and now I can't have a tiny fucking pill.
Ugh! >.<
I don't know how to finish this comment. I hope your lives are filled with happiness and color, whatever that means to you. You matter, you are valid, you are not alone.
From another Ontarian trans person to another, my heart's with you. I haven't started the process yet so I'm nervous. But I'm also hopeful. I stand with you.
Dear Abigail. I'm a cis computer science teacher (bad pun joke comes to mind, but it's not the place or the moment) from Uruguay, South America. I'm really, really glad I found your channel, your work is marvelous, eye opening, and enlightning. I'm planning to translate your subtitles to spanish so that I can use some of your work in class (I hope you don't mind) the transhumanism episode is just an amazing tool to make those kids reflect on the relationship we humans have with technology. But this episode shoke me to my core. This year I finally had the privilege to have a coworker who is tragender, and now I understand their life and struggles much better. Also, I see that health systems (public or otherwise) are badly designed everywhere, and that, in that aspect, between the UK and Uruguay the difference may be one of size rather than development. Best of wishes for you.
Love this comment. Please do whatever it takes to share this kind of content with other Spanish-speakers. It will be worth it
Te banco, Seba. Abrazo de un docente argentino
Aunque una buena pregunta es porque el sistema argentino que es de mayor tamaño y atiende a un nro mayor de pacientes que el de Uruguay, sí da atención a personas trans. No es cuestión de tamaño nomás, es cuestión de políticas. Y lo digo no siendo k.
No sé si los has traducido. No me parecen en español, al menos. Pero si lo has hecho... En mis clases también serían una herramienta enorme videos como este, y mis estudiantes no escuchan ni leen bien inglés
@@fanimedusoleil aún no. Acá en Uruguay estoy comenzando con mis grupos (tengo a cargo unas 11 asignaturas distintas...) y no he tenido tiempo. Por no mencionar que aún estoy considerando si, a pesar de todo, es práctico usar este material en clase.
im 17 and transmasc nonbinary. the fact that i will have to lie when i finally am able to access treatment-the waiting list for a first appointment at my local gender clinic is currently two years-really hit me when abigail repeated “were you abused as a child?”. i was. my dad already uses this as one of the potential reasons why i am not actually trans, and have just been “brainwashed by the left”, as well as the fact that i am autistic. this is a really important video
I'd like to ask a question, which you shouldn't feel the need to reply to if you're not happy to.
I wouldn't phrase it as "not actually trans", but what makes you say that abuse could not have caused or contributed to you being trans?
It is a genuine, open-ended question
@@camillamerighi6833 being trans is an immutable characteristic. There is nothing that can turn a cis person trans, and there is nothing can turn a trans person cis, either. An experience 'making you trans' is about as likely as an experience making you gay, or autistic, or whatever else. a trans peson has always been trans, whether or not they knew it. it's just how they are
@@camillamerighi6833idk if op is willing to answer but as a transman who’s trauma is limited to “bullied and socially isolated in elementary and MS” there is probably *some* level trauma can play? obviously being transgender is never the same person to person, i for example rarely get dysphoria and have no desire for surgery, but i imagine it can have a small role. ofc i fully believe OP when they say it didn’t and we should believe everyone else who says so but sometimes yeah. i imagine trauma, isolation and abuse could be a factor in creating the dysphoria or discomfort associated with transgenderism. again don’t take my word as gospel, there’s probably loads of excellent articles about it out there that’ll be more concise
@@camillamerighi6833Why would it? Being trans has no “trigger”. I’ve known I was a boy since I was six. I told everyone I knew that I was a boy. I came out at 14. My parents being shitty has absolutely nothing with me being a boy. Why would it? Being trans isn’t a mental illness, it’s a fact of life. Abuse doesn’t suddenly make you trans, because nothing “makes” you trans other than being born and being trans. I’ve faced more abuse since I’ve been out, why would being trans protect me from anything? It actively makes your life harder, nobody is trans by choice. It’s easier to be cis, by miles.
oh fuck, if i ever should apply for some kind of transition related medical stuff, i'm in the same boat, and at least one of my friends evidently is.... this sucks
I just wanna say that I love your voice. It’s so soft and calming. You should do audiobooks.
I do! Leech, by Hiron Ennis, is one of mine; I’m also on Lindsay Ellis’ Noumena series
About the 1% of regret from patients who were treated for dysphoria: that percentage is then divided into all the reasons for regretting treatment; the most common one being pressure from environment, such as unsupportive parents, partners and friends. A.k.a. Transphobia. The most common reason for trans people regretting medical treatment is because they face so much discrimination and criticism from transphobia.
for those wondering as of the 16th of january 2023 the court case against the NHS's waiting times she brought up was unfortuntly ruled to be totally legal despite no other treatments having similar wait times
Fuck.
Am an Eastern European student in England and, as my country is very poor, was expecting the NHS to be miles better than our health service. How wrong I was! I’m chronically ill and have been constantly sick throughout my time in the UK, and not once has a doctor agreed to see me in person. They’ve also repeatedly prescribed me the wrong medication over the phone, once damaging my liver. None of my phone calls with my GP have been over 4 minutes. Once when I was in incredible pain, and waited TEN HOURS overnight in A&E without being seen once. There were simply no doctors available the entire night. Ended up just leaving in tears. Insane!
Save money, go to a private clinic in your own country, since the ones in england are too expensive.
Similar experience from 2 separate eastern european friends, all their encounters with the NHS were appalling and ended up never solving the problem at hand.
@@suffocated the problem with western european social services is that they try to be perfect, and end up worse then they should be.
In the country that I live in, we have 1 doctor for three small villages. That doctor comes three times a week for free check ups, and the rest he does field work.
You have to wait like four hours in line, but never have I ever seen anyone not be attended.
In western europe, you have to wait three months for an appointment, just so that they don't wait 4 hours in line.
Absolute stupidity.
Oh, and calling an ambulance is free in my country.
@@verigumetin4291 Britain likely has a much higher population than your country, if not then a much higher population density. There are many incredibly complicated reasons why the NHS has long wait times, and many of them are completely beyond the control of Doctors, consultants or even high ranking NHS bureaucrats. Blaming them just gives more fire to the many ideological free-marketeers in the current government that believe the NHS should be abolished and replaced with private healthcare insurance- which would reduce waiting times by not seeing poor people.
I also find it particularly hypocritical for citizens of Eastern European countries to complain about the Healthcare of western social democracies considering the standard of healthcare in Eastern Europe was until recently far worse, and hampered by corruption and incompetence on a massive scale.
A GP once told me that appointment times are only for 1 query and is 5 minutes to me before. They don't see you unless absolutely necessary to make a diagnosis by physical examination because they can get through more patients through phone consultations. I'm sorry, I feel it's going to be more the norm now :(
About the medication I am sorry that happened to you. Although all drugs have side effects, they should take into account your whole medical history before prescribing you anything.
Had to pause about 57 minutes in to type this out. Am working on holding back tears. Your frustration is audible and I wanted to express my appreciation for the level of mastery it must require over one's feelings to be able to present such complex things in such a well-produced way, when many of us just want to scream. I appreciate the time you have spent on emotional labor alone. Thank you for all that you do and please, keep going.
Dear Abby, thank you for making this. I have postponed watching this for a year or so, because, just from the title, I knew it would be a hard watch. In Denmark, where I live, I've been fighting for my own right to gender affirming care ever since I was sixteen. Now I have, after years of systemic abuse, invasive interrogations and mistreatment, gained access to testosterone. In order to qualify for top surgery, I have now been given three months to lose 13kg without any medical supervision of how I do so. It is actively harming both my mental and physical health. Still, as I watch my closest friends stuck for years on waiting lists for an initial appointment, I consider myself lucky. This issue transcends national healthcare systems like the NHS or the Danish healthcare system. I work with vulnerable trans youth. They are so scared and I can't do or say anything to make it better. I feel so helpless.
The whole video I was thinking "Oh wow, this sounds so much like my experiences with disability/mental health/being aneurotypical" and then at 1 hour and 15 minutes you pull out that book and I shouted "Yes." out-loud. Thank you so much for this video. I'm sorry that things are as they are, I hope all of us can work to make a world that allows for infinite variety, infinite "kinds" of human beings, where we can all have our health cared for by our health care. Thank you.
The administration of my public high school tried to find dirt on my character, after I tried to sue for intentionally ignoring California law. They did this by trying to trick my sister, who went there still, into giving them negative info on me. At the trial they tried to slander me by calling me a Gamer (seriously).
This type of intentional maltreatment has occurred since I was in elementary school.
In the end, nothing I could’ve done mattered.
Same.
Makes sense in hindsight. Trans healthcare gets treated just like other difficult to access/afford/navigate healthcare does, so a lot of the issues in getting it (and solutions) are basically the same.
Add rare disease to list -- but just trying to get a telehealth appointment with your specialist. Then again, I'm in the US where I should know better than to expect anything
@@pokemon55679 smh Gamer oppression once again 😔✊
As an NHS mental health grunt, the transphobia within the NHS is real. I've heard the titters when a trans patient came through our doors, I've heard the incredulity that doctors and nurses get in their voice when transness is discussed. I've had patients thank me tearfully for the simple fact that they don't have to explain their transness to me before we can talk about their mental health. Ashamedly I too used to buy into the fact that we "needed to figure out who was really trans", but I don't any more because gender identity is just that... Identity.
Identity is not a physical, tangible, objective construct. It's a narrative we tell ourselves about our lives and what our lives mean. It's not something you can or should have to prove, it just is. And so are we, for a little while.
The medicalisation of Identity, something which cannot be objectively confirmed or defined from the outside or even from the inside, is a huge flaw in our thinking and it needs to stop if we are to get any progress as a species.
All the trans people I know all did their surgeries in Thailand, Taiwan or Korea. It costs a lot but the results were always great and there is hardly any waiting list.
It is your life and your health we are talking about, public health care has a lot of positives, but other times you just have to go private.
And this goes beyond just trans issues, whenever possible I always opt for private. The interpersonal care you get is always so much better.
@@emcg4041 That's like saying "If sadness isn't a tangible or physical thing, what's the need for happiness?" _Experience_ is inherently subjective. We can't scientifically prove the self exists beyond a chain of stimuli or even that identity is a consistent thing, and yet for obvious reasons we inherently care about the self and identity. If objectivity, physicality, and tangibility are the only things that matter, we'd be unfeeling robots.
@@abcxyz2927 Wtf are you talking about? Stop trying to play Gotcha and make yourself clear
@@emcg4041 Your argument is flawed. Yes, happiness is not a tangible thing. Yes, gender identity is not a tangible thing. But sadness, an intangible and subjective experience, can be alleviated with tangible things. Physical contact, drugs, etc. The intangible _feeling_ is a product of tangible brain chemistry. If we accept the intangible has value, and that the intangible can be changed with the tangible, then it is logical to be open to the possibility that another psychological affliction could be treated with physical solutions.
@@emcg4041 So if emotion isn't physical (despite being caused by chemicals) then what is the point of antidepressants?
Also, there is an interesting thing here where part of identity is physical, specifically trans femme people may (though there is some dispute here) have brains with feminine development and trans masc people have a masculine brain physically.
Even if that wasn't the case, we have a wealth of information from trans people, medical studies, and other sources which I can explain more about later saying that trans healthcare and validation cuts trans suicide rate from ~44% without support to
I was referred to the gender clinic here in Newcastle when I was 21, I got my first appointment in 2019 when I was 25. Im 28 now, still waiting just for my second appointment. I just want my damn top surgery already. Im sick of having nightmares about cutting my breasts off with a kitchen knife and feeling happy about doing it because I can’t handle being trapped like this anymore. I was refused puberty blockers despite going through puberty at 8 years old and it has been a regularly occurring dream to cut them off, to get rid of them. I really hope things improve because now I have friends who are outright being turned away
I’ve been using a cane since I was 14, I’m 18, the NHS aren’t addressing it. 19 this year. I need a wheelchair or something.
I’m also a trans guy but they’ve decided that I’m Not which is fucking annoying
I’m a cis(?) lesbian living in the US, but my girlfriend is currently recovering from gender conformation surgery, a surgery that had been pushed back three times even after my girlfriend had gone through so many hoops with no financial or emotional support from family. Watching this video made me think of how even despite all the hurdles and suffering she has gone through, she’s still one of the lucky ones.
Abigail, I’ve been watching you for a long time, even before you started making “The Show”, when you were finishing up your masters degree and your videos were usually no more than twenty minutes long, if that. I’ve always loved your content and this video is by far your magnum opus. You should be very proud of what all you’ve accomplished and all the lives you have touched through the content you’ve made and will continue to make. I haven’t become a Patron yet due to not being in a secure enough place financially to do so, though the thought had crossed my mind many times before. This video won me over though and I’ll go make an account now. Thank you for doing what you do.
Mine had gcs as well. Nevermind the financial support is severely lacking in insurance and if you make barely over minimum wage, you lose years worth of savings. But the quality of healthcare for the surgery was fucking terrifying. Had to put my gf up at a nearby hotel (all out of pocket) and while I could call the nurses to ask questions, I was the only person who physically took care of her for the week of recovery after. Learning about catheters, balancing meds, several moments of "am I doing this right?" and managing her stress when the surgeon's lack of bedside manner (and lack of pain management when pulling out the catheter) has been one of the worst experiences I've ever had. Still have major anxiety over future revision surgeries (already had one. Will probably need a second one.)
This video has affected me in the same way. It's nice to know that even with the shit medical system, people have stopped turning a blind eye to the lack of human rights and care for trans people. Hope you and your partner have better days ahead.
@@Fjodor.Tabularasa and I long for the times when people who had nothing intelligent or important to say shut the fuck up. Yet, here we are. C'est la vie
Sending all my love for that (?) because you, my friend, know whats up. Also, same.
I waited three years for an autism diagnosis because of the NHS.
I'm underage, and I went to CAHMS, who are ran by the NHS, where they realized I had symptoms of autism. She referred me into the part of CAHMS meant to assess for autism, ADHD, ect. I complained twice, personally, to my school counselor who sped thing up. And I still waited two years through CAHMS.
Then, after two awful years of waiting they moved me into Healios, who diagnosed me after I'd been waiting for three years with no answer. Over a zoom call. Where they made me, a fourteen year old, read a book about flying frogs. The assessment was blatantly made for children. They also made me pretend to brush my teeth, tell a story using random objects, literally the most stupid thing I could imagine.
You might think this is inconsequential, but in those three years I developed an eating disorder, self harming, and living with no actual answer to why I was the way I was with no help or therapy (Which I'm yet to get) was fucking horrible, because the NHS, especially CAHMS is collapsing.
They use those same assessments on adults...
I and my family tried to get me diagnosed for years until I finally got it at age 27. Had to read the same book about flying frogs, tell a story about some pieces of trash they dumped from a bag onto the counter, put together those foam puzzles for babies. It’s so infantilizing and condescending, but in the end it got me my diagnosis…
I had the same exact fucking experience, they made me read a children's book when I was receiving my assessment aged 17.
I was assessed at 19 and they made me read the frog picture book too
I remember the flying frog book too! I think I was either eleven or twelve when they finally stopped looking for excuses to not diagnose me. Even though I had been routinely observed to need help since I was a toddler- and what the fuck is the point of a diagnosis if it isn't to get accommodations?
I actually look back on that book fondly because it was fun to improve an invasion horror story reading off a children's book. I like to think that interpreting the story to have mass death was what finally tipped the scales.
I was a junior doctor in the NHS upto 6 months ago. After 2 years of working there I came to understand all that you have understood about the system. The moral injury was too much for me to carry on (on top of the bullying and other personal issues I faced). I have now left hospital medicine in its totality. The system is beyond broken. Im so sorry for what you have been through and thankyou so much for making this
I've got to say. I've tried and failed to understand the trans community. At many times. I've had friends who've told me about it and tried to explain it to me. But I never fully understood. But I can actually feel how my mental blockage have shifted, even if just a little. I feel as if I understand it a bit more. Thank you.
If this helps; all we want to do is live. As we are. As we are supposed to be. We just want life. That’s it. And we’re denied it. Constantly
I hope you can be happy. It's the problem itself I never understood(I'm not saying it isn't a problem). For example: I might have a tougher time of understanding the problems of a religious person, sense I'm not religious. My gender never had value to me. So it was and in some ways still are hard to understand the trans community.
I hope this doesn't come across as argumentative. I'm afraid it will. So I hope you understand and believe me when I say: I'm trying and I wish you nothing but the best.@@AleksandarBell
@andreashandinberntsson4428 if you're open 2 considering it, it's a lot like if you were born in the body of a chicken. of course you know you're not a chicken, and some of your friends might respect you as a human, but whenever anyone sees you they see and recognize a chicken, and when you look in the mirror, that's what you see too. there are ways that you could have your feathers plucked and your wings made into human arms, but it's an incredibly difficult and long process. in the meantime, you just have to deal with being a chicken. that's what it's like being transgender.