i really can’t explain what it is, but there is something so pure about canada vlogs over LA ones. these bring me significantly much more joy to watch and i love them!! can’t wait for holiday vlogs in canada with your beautiful fam🤍🤍
honestly i think tara is proof that you truly have full control over your life and can change it at any time... theres power in realizing that you can change your life at any time, and its so so so beautiful and radiating seeing tara realize that and be sooo happy!!!
Okay honestly you're radiating joy and its making me so much happier during moments like these. I'm currently in midterms and the weather is super shitty in Montreal and seeing you in your beautiful apartment with a stunning view being so full of positive energy reminds me that there is something to look forward to beyond university and Covid. Thank you Tara for this nice little escape xx
So I'm a 30-year-old first time mother of a 7-month-old baby boy and I feel like watching your vlogs is like watching a little sister and it's so enjoyable.
The way you are like giddy and in shock over the fact that you can have a closer physical relationship with your family, like having the once a week dinners, should say it all. Life can be so fragile and you only have one family. If you have the ability to be near to them, do it. Don’t take for granted the time we have with our loved ones.
Ok. Now I'm wondering what the clip was that was so embarrassing. Hmm. Were you gushing about the guy while a little tipsy? Lol. Loving all the videos.
Sometimes life forces you to go in the direction you are supposed to go whether you know it or not. Glad you are happier. That's what everyone needs in life.
Toronto is literally my end game city. It's so multicultural and cosmopolitan, everything works incredibly, there are people from all over the world, it's incredible for anything creative, it's EVERYTHING! And I have to do SO MUCH to be able to immigrate there, which is my plan, and you ARE from there. Toronto is better than L.A, in my opinion. This is the best thing ever!
I would stay till January. In the US with the election and there after who knows what is going to happen it is a little terrifying. As an American I am here and kinda want a place to run to but just gotta stay here. Be happy and safe there.
Agreed. Stay safe and enjoy the holidays with your family and then go back to LA in the new year. That way you can escape the cold in Jan-Feb and then decide in March whether to come back or stay in LA for springtime.
I’m getting this feeling you have matured soo much the past month (not that you were immature, but there’s something so positively different now) and I’m living for itttttt omg 🙌🏼
I don't know how people have so many questions about this move... it's simple, you needed this change, you had the option to do it so you did it. That's the life. We should learn about this, we can make change in our life. I'm happy to see you happy Tara :D
Something to keep in mind from someone who moves every few years - a big change comes with big ups and downs. Right now you’re riding the high of everything being novel and exciting. More than likely, this will be followed by a decent sized down period. This is normal and healthy. Over time the ups and downs level out a lot more (you likely experienced something similar when you moved to LA). You absolutely deserve to enjoy the excitement, but when things inevitably go wrong for awhile, remember that you knew it was coming and you‘ll bounce back. I go through this every time I move to some degree. Moving abroad (and back) was definitely more intense. I hope things continue to clarify themselves and enjoy your new adventure!
You became my friend during all the Covid isolation and we suffered through it together. Now that you’re in Canada your energy and attitude are so amped up and you are thriving. I’m probably about ten years older so my unsolicited advice to you is that you have a ton of life to live ahead of you. Follow your heart and do whatever brings you joy. You are so happy where you are at right now with your new apartment and family. Cherish these moments! You don’t need to be anywhere you don’t want to be and when traveling becomes easier you should take advantage of that and see the world. We will all be here for the ride. Congrats on your million plus followers! You deserve it all!
I’ve always loved your videos. But to see how over joyed and appreciative you are to just be able to see your family and enjoy a dinner together is just so sweet! Wish there were more you tubers like you
@@chewsypets9770 omg snow already?! i’ve never visited out west but I definitely won’t do it after August if I ever do! i’m in Ontario about 40 mins South of Toronto and it’s just been rainy lately! especially today!
I used to hate the area because it was my previous workplace with lots of drama LOL. But now, it looks so fresh and cool with the amazing sky from your vlogs!!! :)
I started watching you when you came on my fyp with a story about your neighbor, and now I haven’t missed a video! I absolutely love your vibe, you actually inspire me a lot to be positive and creative 🥺 I hope you’re having a good day, congrats on the move, you really do seem so at peace 🤍
Honestly, I love how you can enjoy your own company. I have been watching your vlogs since quarantine and you have a lot of good times alone. Love that.
I don’t know what it is about you but your the one RUclipsd that I’ll religiously watch and get excited for all your videos (and I watch no other daily vloggers!) I’m so happy your happy girl, much love ❤️
I love that Tara is so happy!!! I literally smile while she says that everything is lining up and that she’s happy I love it I adore it and I’m here for it you just look much more vibrant this was a much needed decision ❤️
uuh I bet the 'embarrassing' clip was her gushing over her date and she didn't want the guy to see it 😂 so nice to see her this excited about everything
it's so nice to see how smiley and happy she is in canada now! i'm so proud of her and i don't know how to explain but canada vlogs just warms my heart.
I am so sad that such a wonderful, down to earth young woman is possibly leaving the USA but Tara I am so ecstatic for you. You are so happy and at home in Canada. They are lucky to have you!!!
whenever i talk to older people they remember one thing that changed their lives, like "if i had never done this or been here I wouldnt have met my husband, done this with my career, etc" i feel like getting a place in Canada will be your big moment i dont know
Tara how do I get you to know that ur uploads are my favorite thing in the world like Im obsessed. Sad? Watch tara. Bored? Watch tara. Make your day better? Watch tara. Treat yoself kinda night? DUH TARA
i can feel your energy come through in this video especially and found myself smiling the entire time. So happy for your happiness. Keep thriving Tara :)
I love watching you freak out at the view. Me and my roommate recently moved to a new place with a view and that is literally what we do when we are home. It has been a month now, just so you know the fascination never goes away.
Can someone explain why it's so satisfying for me to see moving vlogs? Just seeing someone building up stuff, everything slowly becoming a cozy home. For me this is better than ASMR 😄 So happy for you Tara! ❤
You should get an ice cube tub... container? ... lol anyway... that way you can have ice ready while ice is forming in the trays. I got mine a while ago and i love it!
Couple of things... 1. I freaking love your relationship with your parents!! It reminds me of the relationship I have with mine! Actually my mom sometimes sits with me to watch your videos ☺️ 2. Will never get tired of saying how happy you look now 🥰 3. I have those exact ice cube trays and they are amazing!! 💪🏻 4. Really loving how HD your videos look!! 👏🏻💪🏻
Date number TWO, I see you Tara 😅 is this the guy you were in love with when you were younger 😭 CUTE! So happy seeing you so happy. Canada is your place. 💛
I am LIVING for this!! You really do look so happy regardless of what you're exactly doing. Even small thinks like ice cube trays make you so excited. Love watching your videos wherever you are and whatever kinda mood you're in. But this is one of the happiest I've seen you in a veeery long time and you can tell it's genuine and comes from your heart. I'm sure the living situation is gonna figure itself out on its own just keep going with what feels right in the moment!
You can actually get the Everything But the Bagel Seasoning at the st. Lawrence Market. I got it at the Asian spice market on the ground floor (by the coffee shop).
Your happiness is so contagious! I love it! I didn't realize how down you were when you were all alone in your place in L.A. until I saw your spirits rising so high in Canada. Don't make any more big changes in your life like selling your L.A. condo. Wait a little while to settle in a bit and to take at least one trip back to L.A. to see how it feels knowing that you have somewhere else to go if you want to. I love all of your purchases and to see where you are deciding to put pieces of furniture. It's right up my alley.
Tara, I am so happy that you’re happy. You’re happiness is what I strive for. I can see how genuinely happy you are to be back home and in your own space with a new life basically 💖 love this for you!
How are you handling the bathroom remodel in LA? Just wondering if you will have someone follow-up to be sure it all turned out as expected. I know you trust your contractor, but I would still have to confirm, especially with such a big price tag.
Girl, that feeling you were talking about in the first part is sooooo important! I am loving all of these Toronto vlogs you are living such a better life than you were in LA and I am so happy I get to watch you blossom. Your apartment is coming along so nicely cannot wait to see what else you do with it and can't wait to hear more about this guy! So happy for you.
A ramen recommendation from one ramen lover to another... Ramen Isshin in Toronto (College St) is very good! The garlic shoyu with extra chili oil was bomb!!! 🤤🍜
Tara I love seeing how HAPPY you are in Canada 🇨🇦 Your apartment view is amazing. You just seem much more happier and your glowing with so much love being around your family and other peeps there. 😍
i’ve felt super exhausted with covid at uni so far. i felt super happy at the beginning of uni but i’ve gotten more stressed w classes and can’t get back to being super happy. these videos give me hope for the future and a healthy lifestyle 💞
I love how happy you are. It's so nice to see you settling into your new apartment. It actually makes me excited for the future, which has been something I've been struggling with through this pandemic 💗
it's so cute seeing her giggly over a boy and excited for her new life
i love it.
Yasss I’m so happy for her
I was just thinking that at the end, when she was like getting all excited for literally everything.
your dads “it will have to” is the kind of attitude we all need! if there is a will there is a way
Hahah my moms the same but it’s kind of scary... it’s more like “it will HAVE to.” She will MAKE IT, if she loses limbs along the way 😂
The most dad *dad comment*, loved it
Just face facts Tara...your head is in L.A, your heart is in Canada 💓
no replies so imma make it to 1
i really can’t explain what it is, but there is something so pure about canada vlogs over LA ones. these bring me significantly much more joy to watch and i love them!! can’t wait for holiday vlogs in canada with your beautiful fam🤍🤍
Same!!
I didn't even watch the vlogs in LA, this is so much better!!
honestly i think tara is proof that you truly have full control over your life and can change it at any time... theres power in realizing that you can change your life at any time, and its so so so beautiful and radiating seeing tara realize that and be sooo happy!!!
FACTSSS
Girl how are thriving ever since you moved to TO!!! It’s the energy and happiness on your face in the vlogs for me🙌🏾
The happiness, the positivity! Always loved her videos but to see her so happy is just the best 🤗
I love seeing how your apartment is coming along. your videos are ones that I make sure I never miss!!!
Same here!! 💗
You're look gorgeous I hope enjoy your college keegan bro
Yess
Happy 400k girly!!
Same
Okay honestly you're radiating joy and its making me so much happier during moments like these. I'm currently in midterms and the weather is super shitty in Montreal and seeing you in your beautiful apartment with a stunning view being so full of positive energy reminds me that there is something to look forward to beyond university and Covid. Thank you Tara for this nice little escape xx
good luck with midterms!!!!
@@taramichellevlogz thank you :))
All the best for your Midterms !!❤
@@sakeynarahm3872 thank you so much xx
Ayyy montrealers unite :))) same in my mid-terms girl we GOT THIS!!
For the record... I LOVE her life in Toronto! It seems for much healthier for her!!
I love her attitude she is so bubbly and happy it's really good for her
You genuinely seem SO happy and like you can’t stop smiling. It really is nice to see. So happy for you Tara
So I'm a 30-year-old first time mother of a 7-month-old baby boy and I feel like watching your vlogs is like watching a little sister and it's so enjoyable.
Same 27 year old with a 9 month old 😊
36 years old with a toddler is here🙋🏻♀️
23 with my 3 year old 🤎 I feel like she’s the older sis I’ve never had lol congrats on your baby!
55 years young with a 32 year old!!! It goes amazingly FAST ladies once you start marking time with kids in your life 😊😊😊👍
The way you are like giddy and in shock over the fact that you can have a closer physical relationship with your family, like having the once a week dinners, should say it all. Life can be so fragile and you only have one family. If you have the ability to be near to them, do it. Don’t take for granted the time we have with our loved ones.
Ok. Now I'm wondering what the clip was that was so embarrassing. Hmm. Were you gushing about the guy while a little tipsy? Lol. Loving all the videos.
We can feel it and she can feel it too. she's HAPPY ❤️😂
Hope everyone who is seeing this knows they are loved, worth it, and beautiful. I hope you have a great day!
You too ❤ thank you for that!
Sometimes life forces you to go in the direction you are supposed to go whether you know it or not. Glad you are happier. That's what everyone needs in life.
Toronto is literally my end game city. It's so multicultural and cosmopolitan, everything works incredibly, there are people from all over the world, it's incredible for anything creative, it's EVERYTHING! And I have to do SO MUCH to be able to immigrate there, which is my plan, and you ARE from there. Toronto is better than L.A, in my opinion. This is the best thing ever!
'Dying with your excitement about how the new life is going 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Your happiness contagious!
You definitely are receiving signs to possibly stay in Toronto full time. You don't seem anywhere near as stresses as you seem to be in LA
I would stay till January. In the US with the election and there after who knows what is going to happen it is a little terrifying. As an American I am here and kinda want a place to run to but just gotta stay here. Be happy and safe there.
Same. I feel like a lot is going to change after the election.
@@maliaobrien1733 I hope it's for the best because how much more bad can we handle
TBH I am so excited to be moving to the middle of nowhere so I can hide lmao
@@genevievenoel7243 good call and be safe 💜
Agreed. Stay safe and enjoy the holidays with your family and then go back to LA in the new year. That way you can escape the cold in Jan-Feb and then decide in March whether to come back or stay in LA for springtime.
I’m getting this feeling you have matured soo much the past month (not that you were immature, but there’s something so positively different now) and I’m living for itttttt omg 🙌🏼
I don't know how people have so many questions about this move... it's simple, you needed this change, you had the option to do it so you did it. That's the life. We should learn about this, we can make change in our life. I'm happy to see you happy Tara :D
Honestly I live for houseware hauls. More please! They’re quite comforting to watch lol
Yassssss love the amazon hauls all the hauls😁
SO HAPPY FOR YOU. You have always been a joyful person on your videos but now your positive energy vibrates 10x stronger!
Something to keep in mind from someone who moves every few years - a big change comes with big ups and downs. Right now you’re riding the high of everything being novel and exciting. More than likely, this will be followed by a decent sized down period. This is normal and healthy. Over time the ups and downs level out a lot more (you likely experienced something similar when you moved to LA). You absolutely deserve to enjoy the excitement, but when things inevitably go wrong for awhile, remember that you knew it was coming and you‘ll bounce back. I go through this every time I move to some degree. Moving abroad (and back) was definitely more intense. I hope things continue to clarify themselves and enjoy your new adventure!
You became my friend during all the Covid isolation and we suffered through it together. Now that you’re in Canada your energy and attitude are so amped up and you are thriving. I’m probably about ten years older so my unsolicited advice to you is that you have a ton of life to live ahead of you. Follow your heart and do whatever brings you joy. You are so happy where you are at right now with your new apartment and family. Cherish these moments! You don’t need to be anywhere you don’t want to be and when traveling becomes easier you should take advantage of that and see the world. We will all be here for the ride. Congrats on your million plus followers! You deserve it all!
you can tell how much happier tara is when all she’s doing is talking about cups & a pot but you can hear her happiness in her voice🥺🥺
I’ve always loved your videos. But to see how over joyed and appreciative you are to just be able to see your family and enjoy a dinner together is just so sweet! Wish there were more you tubers like you
Your mom should post her recipes bc the food looks so bomb!!!
tara’s happiness has really rubbed off on me, I love this for her
Honestly cannot WAIT to see how you decorate this apartment for Christmas!
Same I love Christmas🎄
tara never fails to extend her gratitude and that’s something you don’t get often on here 💓 sending you so much love
I’ve never seen such a complicated toaster...”I don’t really know how to use this” 😂
20 minute tara vlog??? YES PLS
I haven't pressed on a video so quick
Thank you for so many likes thank you Tara for liking I love your videos!
I love the vibe.... the views.... the positivity.....all of it.... keep it cominggg!!!!! Love this Tara!!!
I love seeing how happy Canada, and being with her family makes her. I’m just hoping she remains this happy during our Canadian winter ;)
@@chewsypets9770 omg snow already?! i’ve never visited out west but I definitely won’t do it after August if I ever do! i’m in Ontario about 40 mins South of Toronto and it’s just been rainy lately! especially today!
I used to hate the area because it was my previous workplace with lots of drama LOL. But now, it looks so fresh and cool with the amazing sky from your vlogs!!! :)
I started watching you when you came on my fyp with a story about your neighbor, and now I haven’t missed a video! I absolutely love your vibe, you actually inspire me a lot to be positive and creative 🥺 I hope you’re having a good day, congrats on the move, you really do seem so at peace 🤍
Honestly, I love how you can enjoy your own company. I have been watching your vlogs since quarantine and you have a lot of good times alone. Love that.
I don’t know what it is about you but your the one RUclipsd that I’ll religiously watch and get excited for all your videos (and I watch no other daily vloggers!) I’m so happy your happy girl, much love ❤️
It's so sweet seeing you so happy!!!!
I love that Tara is so happy!!! I literally smile while she says that everything is lining up and that she’s happy I love it I adore it and I’m here for it you just look much more vibrant this was a much needed decision ❤️
your positivity and happiness literally radiate through the screen and makes me happy hihi
uuh I bet the 'embarrassing' clip was her gushing over her date and she didn't want the guy to see it 😂 so nice to see her this excited about everything
LOL YUP, too embarrassing
@@taramichellevlogz haha, it's nice that you have it though, it will be a nice memory to look back on. hope everything works out!
it's so nice to see how smiley and happy she is in canada now! i'm so proud of her and i don't know how to explain but canada vlogs just warms my heart.
You just look and sound not only happier.. But healthier if that makes sense. Your glowing lady! 💜💜💜
you know your parents are so happy your home to 'and you just glow ,i don't believe i have ever seen you smile so much . stay healthy and happy .
I feel like most of us are rooting for you to move to Canada full time honestly 🤩
i just wanted to say I've been LOVING your toronto vlogs lately
I am so sad that such a wonderful, down to earth young woman is possibly leaving the USA but Tara I am so ecstatic for you. You are so happy and at home in Canada. They are lucky to have you!!!
Your energy in this vlog Is just so different. I just feel genuine happiness radiating off you. You’re glowing!! Canda is def where you belongs!
OMG I HAVE THAT EXACT MIRROR FROM IKEA AND IT'S HANDS DOWN THE BEST MIRROR
IT'S THE BEST!
I have it too, I love it!
I don’t know if I missed it, but did she say what the mirror is called? Thanks😊
@@laurabustos8291 HOVET
Hannah OToole Thank you!!😊
You are sooo much happier in Canada! I love seeing your family in your videos 👍 the Tie dye outfit is awesome.
Omg I’m so exited for taras future I literally have a routine of watching her vids everyday haha
whenever i talk to older people they remember one thing that changed their lives, like "if i had never done this or been here I wouldnt have met my husband, done this with my career, etc" i feel like getting a place in Canada will be your big moment i dont know
Tara how do I get you to know that ur uploads are my favorite thing in the world like Im obsessed. Sad? Watch tara. Bored? Watch tara. Make your day better? Watch tara. Treat yoself kinda night? DUH TARA
ILYYYYY!!!
Tara Michelle Vlogs GIRL ILY MORE
i can feel your energy come through in this video especially and found myself smiling the entire time. So happy for your happiness. Keep thriving Tara :)
Tara you are GLOWING ! You’re seriously sooo happy these days, I love this so much it makes me so happy I could cry for you 🥺😭💖
I love watching you freak out at the view. Me and my roommate recently moved to a new place with a view and that is literally what we do when we are home. It has been a month now, just so you know the fascination never goes away.
Putting an add right when Brady is starting to run up to you... so mean Tara, so mean!
Can someone explain why it's so satisfying for me to see moving vlogs? Just seeing someone building up stuff, everything slowly becoming a cozy home. For me this is better than ASMR 😄 So happy for you Tara! ❤
You should get an ice cube tub... container? ... lol anyway... that way you can have ice ready while ice is forming in the trays. I got mine a while ago and i love it!
Your heart is telling you something important. You are thinking it through, but really your whole vibe is saying you're in the right place.
Anyone else notice how much Tara steps forward and backward when she shows her outfits in the mirror? At a very consistent cadence at that haha
You look so beyond happy to be back and close to your family. I am so happy for you and excited to see how this journey unfolds for you!
I feel like you should move back to Toronto, you seem so much happier
Seeing you so happy makes my heart happy! I love how positive and grateful you are!!!!💗⭐️
Couple of things... 1. I freaking love your relationship with your parents!! It reminds me of the relationship I have with mine! Actually my mom sometimes sits with me to watch your videos ☺️
2. Will never get tired of saying how happy you look now 🥰
3. I have those exact ice cube trays and they are amazing!! 💪🏻
4. Really loving how HD your videos look!! 👏🏻💪🏻
Smiling through out the whole vlogs..u really passed the happy vibes tara
Date number TWO, I see you Tara 😅 is this the guy you were in love with when you were younger 😭 CUTE! So happy seeing you so happy. Canada is your place. 💛
It is so good to see you so happy and thriving again
I’m absolutely obsessed with these moving vlogs
Tara, I can definitely see how you mean that everything is lining up for the better! It's very evident that you are happy in Canada!
I love how obsessed you are with this new apartment. You are soo much happier here... Just saying :)
I am LIVING for this!! You really do look so happy regardless of what you're exactly doing. Even small thinks like ice cube trays make you so excited. Love watching your videos wherever you are and whatever kinda mood you're in. But this is one of the happiest I've seen you in a veeery long time and you can tell it's genuine and comes from your heart. I'm sure the living situation is gonna figure itself out on its own just keep going with what feels right in the moment!
Fun fact: Tara is AMAZING!
Love from a positive Utuber☺️
Yass! Btw I like ur vidz
So happy you're feeling good about things in your life. ❤️
You can actually get the Everything But the Bagel Seasoning at the st. Lawrence Market. I got it at the Asian spice market on the ground floor (by the coffee shop).
ahh my roomie and I have been looking for it... this was helpful- thanks!!!
@@GoodnessGraceiousMe costco has it!!
Your happiness is so contagious! I love it! I didn't realize how down you were when you were all alone in your place in L.A. until I saw your spirits rising so high in Canada. Don't make any more big changes in your life like selling your L.A. condo. Wait a little while to settle in a bit and to take at least one trip back to L.A. to see how it feels knowing that you have somewhere else to go if you want to. I love all of your purchases and to see where you are deciding to put pieces of furniture. It's right up my alley.
hope everyone is having a good day!! Hope your are staying safe Tara!
It puts a smile on my face to see Tara finally so happy. Sometimes all you need is family😊💕
I guess I’m kinda confused how you packed enough to last you until next year! Or did you just do a shopping spree for everything you need?
I didn't!!! I packed for maybe 2 weeks lol but really everything is just material - I don't "need" anything!
I love seeing you so happy I’ve been watching for awhile and these past vlogs have made me feel so happy for you ☺️😁❤️
Can’t wait to see your bathroom back in LA
Me too.. I actually miss the LA vlogs . I love her place and what she has done with it. 🏡☀
Tara, I am so happy that you’re happy. You’re happiness is what I strive for. I can see how genuinely happy you are to be back home and in your own space with a new life basically 💖 love this for you!
How are you handling the bathroom remodel in LA? Just wondering if you will have someone follow-up to be sure it all turned out as expected. I know you trust your contractor, but I would still have to confirm, especially with such a big price tag.
it's not 100% done! there's finishing details that will be done when im back! but jill will be checking it out this week and letting me know!
Almost 20 minutes, LOVE THAT FOR US! I'm so happy you're enjoying your life in Toronto and actually smiling a lot more, you deserve it! ❤
"let's check on my ice!!!!!"
i laughed so hard hahahahah the little things
Girl, that feeling you were talking about in the first part is sooooo important! I am loving all of these Toronto vlogs you are living such a better life than you were in LA and I am so happy I get to watch you blossom. Your apartment is coming along so nicely cannot wait to see what else you do with it and can't wait to hear more about this guy! So happy for you.
Every time Tara says “fun fact” i think actually really really sad fact ... iykyk
You were so giddy happy in this vlog (and really most TO vlogs) and then that makes ME smile 🙈😍 Love to see you living your best life, Tara!
A ramen recommendation from one ramen lover to another... Ramen Isshin in Toronto (College St) is very good! The garlic shoyu with extra chili oil was bomb!!! 🤤🍜
omg I miss ramen isshin.. for sure the best
It's amazing how you can feel your happiness through a screen. So happy for you Tara! 💖
That apartment view makes me want to move to Canada
Tara I love seeing how HAPPY you are in Canada 🇨🇦 Your apartment view is amazing. You just seem much more happier and your glowing with so much love being around your family and other peeps there. 😍
Don’t leave me hanging. What’s the ramen link?!
i’ve felt super exhausted with covid at uni so far. i felt super happy at the beginning of uni but i’ve gotten more stressed w classes and can’t get back to being super happy. these videos give me hope for the future and a healthy lifestyle 💞
Pro tip: fill out the ice cube trays inside the freezer so they don't spill
I love how happy you are. It's so nice to see you settling into your new apartment. It actually makes me excited for the future, which has been something I've been struggling with through this pandemic 💗