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Part II to Quitting Maladaptive Daydreaming is here: ruclips.net/video/mhN20hyJT_A/видео.htmlsi=oNWnGTDF3COpjurR Guided EFT for Maladaptive Daydreaming: ruclips.net/video/bX6Uj0ILq3g/видео.htmlsi=CP53kCZLk1GI_FhK 30-day meditation for Maladaptive daydreaming: ruclips.net/video/8pwcCwAyPpk/видео.htmlsi=sLZ0jnng9SE5OwMX Listener Write In #1 Maladaptive Daydreaming & Shame: ruclips.net/video/ZBmUMb1CqtM/видео.htmlsi=JtCGvoZ-RrWhSy0E Maladaptive daydreaming playlist: ruclips.net/p/PLHlHxeERjH5qxfAXpjRk8paog20zWJvis&si=1xeevbpUOd2VgN4K
Normally I pace around my room and listen to music while daydreaming but I still end up integrating my daydream characters into other real life tasks, even if daydreaming wasnt the initial plan. Like when i'm cooking a meal by myself or even just watching netflix, i'll imagine the characters doing the thing with me and whenever I try to just do stuff and be present in reality I just feel bored and like im in a void. Its so annoying 😂
i used to pace then i stopped as i got older and now i just stare at this photo album, listen to music, and do weird movements. it's so sad to me and i hate being this way. i hear it's linked to trauma but idc if my situation is traumatic bc i kinda deny it. i grew up with my sick mom who was also abusive and we were in and out of foster care bc of that. i took care of her until i was 12 bc she passed, after i got back from foster care. the man she married whom, i won't call my stepfather, became verbally abusive after she passed and put me out when i was 13. I was lucky to have my eldest brother bc he took me and got legal custody of me. now i've been MDing since but even when i was a kid i was always stuck in my head bc i couldn't watch tv i just had the four walls in my room and my books. i'd watch the kids play from my window and pretend i'm out there. i guess it stems from all that but i don't wanna accept it ig.
@@christianaakinrinbowun8756 ive gone through the same cycles and its very very frustrating and demoralizing :( I hope things will improve for you one day
I have been so ashamed of admitting this, this habit has taken on an average of 6-7 hours of my day for the past 4 years, it has helped me to learn a lot about myself but it's time I bid this addiction goodbye, this comment section spoke to me in ways I've never felt before
I've had this issue ever since I've been a small child and now that I'm 16 I just can't seem to stop and it's ruining my life. I also take 4+ hours a day just daydreaming. You're not alone.
What helped me was getting closer to Jesus ❤🙏 Get closer with God and you'll see big changes that you never thought you could do. This used to be a big addiction for me, but miraculously it has gone away withitin 2 months of me having faith in Jesus to get rid of it. ❤ God bless you.
@@raindaviszI literally was a Christian when I was maladaptive daydreaming. I mean, what if someone starts maladaptive daydreaming about God or something?
Loneliness, Self dissatisfaction, Isolation, and Traumatic experiences are all reasons why I use this mental diasscoation coping mechanism. It saved me
Hi Catherine, it’s really good that you can pinpoint the reasons behind this coping mechanism! Are you able to see a local mental health professional? Do you have people in your life who care about you and who you can trust? What if you made a list of three things you want to accomplish in the next year or one thing you want to accomplish in the next few months and made a ten minute effort toward that task everyday. Based on what you’ve shared, I think your best strategy is countering the causes: 1) Get out and meet more people or make plans with the people you already know 2) Get a mental health professional and / or supportive people on your side 3) Outline some things you’re called toward, the things you enjoy doing that are fun or might be fulfilling and start doing them. I’m glad this coping mechanism has gotten you to this point. That said you deserve a fulfilling life shared with other humans that brings you joy ❤️
@@thehealthywriter Thank you so much. Honestly, the time you gave to type this comment and give me advice alone is starting the water works😂. I greatly appreciate it and I will look into consulting a mental health professional. Thank you again and I hope your life is filled with tranquility and joy!
@@josephleone8054 Hey Joseph! Somehow I missed your comment. I think redirection for positive uses of your imagination is certainly a good technique. There's nothing wrong with daydreaming; it's just insuring you're not doing it so much that it negatively impacts your life. I'm sorry to hear about the relationship with your daughter. Have you thought about seeing a therapist who may be able to assist you in your relationships? I think sometimes we all get caught in wanting what we want from our loved ones that we don't always allow them to be who they are (and sometimes vice versa). I've found that having a therapist to talk out relational challenges can help me find the language for difficult conversations which ultimately helps have healthier communications with loved ones.
@@catherine.rome. You're welcome, Catherine. Aww that means a lot to me. I'm glad my response is helpful. Getting a really good therapist a few years back changed the course of my life. It's amazing what consistent, healthy support can really do for your overall wellbeing. Finding a therapist can be challenging. I have a video here if you'd like some tips on how to find a good one: ruclips.net/video/A80vLCS4tMM/видео.html Ultimately, whatever you can do to improve your overall wellbeing will have a positive impact on all other areas of your life. I hope your life is filled with tranquility and joy as well!
This started for me around five. At age 8 or 9 I’d thought I would grow out of this way of thinking. I’m 23 and I never did. I’m learning today that MD is what I’ve been doing all my life.
I’m failing my senior year because of daydreaming): my whole life I’ve been in a constant day dream to escape my abusive household but this year it’s BAD. I stay home from school so I can walk around my room all day muttering to myself, pretending to be in my daydream. it’s horrible. It also makes me VERY aggressive, whenever a family member tries to talk to me when I’m daydreaming(which is all the time) I go off on them. I even leave fun events with my friends or leave work early to daydream. Sometimes I don’t go to school because I’m having a good daydream in bed, but then when I finish the scenario I regret it. There’s so many other factors to why it’s ruining my life, but those are a few. I need and want to stop. I think once I move out of my abusive household, I’ll be better.
Hi Vivica, I am so, so sorry. Can you get any adults on your side for support, even if that’s just a trusted teacher to have as someone kind and stable in your life who you can open up to. It makes so sense as to why you would want to disconnect from your daily life. With trauma (and life), it’s vital to get back into the body via healthy diet (brain-boosting foods-blueberries, spinach, etc) and via exercise-yoga, meditation, or even just walks at safe times during the day. Do you have friends you can take walks with to cut down on the md? I am positive you will experience relief when you get out of your abusive household too, and it would be wonderful to get you an easier bridge there by finding peace in your body via exercise and diet even if you can’t currently find it in your home. I’m so sorry again. Sending you a lot of love and hope for happier and healthier times ahead. ❤️
Here is a person who moved out from abusive household. It’s been 7 months since I left my parents and now I am doing my bachelor degree in another city. Actually I found out information about maladaptive daydreaming two-three weeks ago and now I know the reason due to which I am smiling all of the time without any reason, due to which it is not interesting for me to talk with people and due to which I lose my concentration when I am learning something. And even now after leaving abusive parents I am having these daydreams in my head all of the time. I know that these thoughts are killing me but I don’t know how to stop them
I'm on day 4 of trying to break the cycle. I know I won't miss these people in my head. They're so intrenched in my thought process, I don't know how to have my own thoughts and ideas without acting them out through my characters. I know this is bad for me, I thought I'd be more successful in life. Yes, i have anxiety but it's not too bad; i don't think i've ever experienced trauma.
Hey Stephanie! It’s tough when it’s a four-day barrel of thoughts. Have you tried writing the characters down? It may be a way to ground yourself. I’d also recommend the time-tracking exercise and meditation. Getting into your body will help you get a bit more out of your mind. I also recommend being kind to yourself. Of all the problems to have, there’s something rather beautiful about being a daydreamer. Obviously, it’s not conducive to certain goals, but it must be serving you in some way (even if not trauma-based). Have you been able to analyze the themes that come up for your daydreams and think about how they’re serving a need you’re not getting IRL?
PS I recently made a part II. If you haven’t checked it out, here it is ruclips.net/video/mhN20hyJT_A/видео.html I think one thing to acknowledge is that you’ve probably been doing this for a long time right? It’s probably a fairly old habit, so it will take some time to change it. Try to be kind and patient with yourself. It sounds like you’re doing the best you can, and I think you’re amazing for that
Ironically enough I was daydreaming as I was watching this video. I've been addicted to it for seven years. It has been going on for so long that I reached the point where I could no longer see how much of a problem it is. From now on I just want to learn to live in the present moment again.
Hey Charlotte! I hear you. Have you identified your triggers? Have you identified things that help? Do you recognize places in your life where you could add more joy? I often think of maladaptive dreaming as a form of maladaptive longing. I think a lot of maladaptive daydreamers are yearning for aspects of their lives that they don't have, and so the mind offers a kindness with the imagination giving the daydreamer what they seem to want. Sometimes it's a stress release or unmet desire. Analyzing your internal needs that are bound up with triggers can be really helpful. I'm thinking about putting out a guide, so feel free to subscribe and stay tuned for that!
@@thehealthywriter I started using the technique mentioned in the video of narrating what I'm doing as I'm doing it. It works really well. There's a self help book which I have found on MD which I'm planning to read too. That's what it comes down to; my life has been less than ideal over the past years and I have used daydreaming as a way of escaping existential boredom and loneliness. But the daydreaming can trap you and take away your motivation to take action to ameliorate your own life because you get sucked into your imagination and lose touch with reality.
Hey @@charlottewortley1245! That's awesome that worked for you. I like that one a lot because it magnifies self-awareness to kind of an absurd level and brings reality back. Grounding exercises in general are great for MD. Sometimes if I find I'm spacey, I just name five objects around me, and it gets me grounded again in the present. Ooh, what book is that? Yes! Totally. I hear you on everything you're saying. I think worldwide, there are so many numbing habits and habits of escapism. Any habit can be maladaptive or harmful if it's used to suppress or repress the self; bingeing TV, oversleeping, playing too many video games, drinking too much alcohol, etc. All of these can have qualities that feel beneficial but if used to excess, they're not going to bring about positive life outcomes. The last few years have been universally strange. I think a lot of people are striving to find their way back to themselves post-pandemic. I'm so glad you're finding things that work for you!
@@thehealthywriter The book is 'Freedom from Maladaptive Daydreaming' by Katherine Andler. Another grounding technique which I developed recently is going through each colour of the rainbow consecutively and finding objects in your surroundings which have corresponding colours, Eg. 'Red traffic lights', 'yellow buttercups'. Hopefully others might find it useful too :)
@@charlottewortley1245 oh wow that’s such a beautiful grounding technique. Hmm now I have to think do I know the rainbow colors consecutively… roy g… hmm can’t remember the rest of the mnemonic trick haha. That’s lovely though! Thanks for sharing the book too.
If you are feeling dismotivated there is hope to overcoming this vice.I started maladaptive daydreaming when i was 12/13 and now im almost 17. I now realize how much it affected my life, making me feel worthless, making me go into bad habits, and all the bad things that were happening in my life were because of that really. When i first realized what md was and how it ruined my life was three months ago. I would spend i think ab three hours of my daily life daydreaming, whether it was during my school classes, my free time or even my ballet classes. The day that i really panicked was when i had spent ab the whole chemestry class(40 min) daydreaming. And then i made a decision to stop. Three months later i can´t even imagine how i could spend so many time in my head. Md is, still, a battle that i have daily, however sometimes i spend a whole day without even having the urge to do it, or when it comes i say no we´re not doing that. In the worst cases when i step into md(like today, that´s why i searched this video) it´s only ab ten minutes. Ten minutes is still a lot for non maladaptive daydreamers but for me, even though im teally disappointed at myself for falling into md again, is a huge victory that my worse is ten minutes.
Thank you for this video… im 32 years old I’ve been maladaptive daydreaming ever since a kid maybe around 6 or 7. I put on headphones, blast my music and rock back and fourth on my couch. I can do this for hours on end and it’s very depressing. Daydreams usually just consist of me imagining my best self, my dreams accomplished, being successful, it’s very addictive and I hate it. It interrupts my life and living and becoming a better person. I’ve started to meditating and it definitely helps but I’m not all the way there yet but I’m working towards it. Going to the gym and meditating helps. It’s so hard to quit it’s so addicting but I know i need to stop it’s not good for m, I’m to old for this now 😢
Aww I hear you, E. Congrats on meditating and going to the gym!!! Those are two huge things that will benefit every area of your life when done consistently. Have you thought about how you might start incorporating some small wins toward your dreams? Defining what success and accomplishment looks like to you and incorporating small steps towards those things can likely help as well. Congrats again on some of your positive habit changes!
MD is a huge mental health problem that can have a crippling effect on people's lives. It has on mine. It's a pity that it's not included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, preventing the MH community from focusing on it to develop effective care, treatments and solutions. This is a huge problem that can spiral into much deeper episodes of depression, anxiety and a multitude of other issues if there's no help. The MH community must consider this seriously as so many people may not even be able to understand why this happens or be willing to discuss it and further their self-isolation and suffering, instead of seeking the help they need. Thank you for making this video.
Thanks for adding to the conversation. It can definitely spiral-if unchecked, and I think a lot of people don't necessarily know how to bring it up to a healthcare provider because 1) most people have never heard of it 2) And it's not included in the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders as you mention. I think it's likely to show up eventually in there, and I'm curious what further relations there may be between OCD and maladaptive daydreaming since both enter obsessive thought spirals. Thanks so much for watching the video and leaving such a thoughtful comment. I'm so sorry for your experiences around MD. I know how derailing it can be, and I hope this video can offer some relief. I'll also be making a Part II for more tips, so subscribe and hit the notifications so you can stay in tune for that!
It’s a form of dissociation, so while it is not a diagnosis in and of itself it is certainly a modifier that is tacked onto other disorders. For example, not otherwise specified or other/unspecified diagnoses are particularly helpful for this and your provider can then add more description to communicate this to other providers.
I suffered from maladaptive daydreaming ever since i was 8 , which has harmed me later very much mentally and caused me powerful and intense depressions through the years , thankfully i am now 17 and i managed to quit intense daydreaming , i started building good habits and disposing of bad ones , replaced meditation with praying , improved cold resistance, and now i am fine! , After all i managed to study very well after i got rid of this plague , i am grateful for you
I think that's an important distinction to make! Daydreaming can be a wonderful source of therapy, so I would only say it's maladaptive if it's unwanted or uncontrollable. But if you're happy with the amount of time you daydream, you do you!
I've struggled with MD since I could talk. I believe my daydreams started by loneliness, and playing with dolls. I used to have a magical fantasy, but now my daydreams surround real life and people. My daydreams are usually about future conversations and events, and most of the time they're correct. Which can be helpful as I also have social anxiety; but I daydream for hours upon hours every day. I daydream while in school, while doing homework, even in the middle of conversations. Sometimes I leave people on read or don't text back so I can daydream. Its exhausting, and I feel guilty for it. It doesn't give me any relief or pleasure. I just feel as if I'm constantly in a daydream and I'm so out of tune with real life. Thank you for this video, I felt very seen and I learned a lot about MD that I didn't know before. P.S. Your voice is so calming, and your eyes are very pretty :) You look very similar to Natalia Dyer!
Aww Yoshi, I definitely for you and with you. And thanks for the compliments. Very sweet of you. Do you know much about dissociation? That’s essentially what’s happening with MD. Have you found any ways to ground yourself? I have a video on my channel about five ways of stopping a panic attack fast. Some of those techniques might help you ground yourself. A technique I find helpful when I have dissociated in the past is naming objects around me. Door, window, floor, feet, hands, bed, and so on. Basically, anything to ground yourself in the present. And definitely try the techniques in this video (I have a second video on this as well). There’s a LOT of things you can do to curb this habit. Treating the social anxiety with a professional therapist might be another method to try! Especially, if MD is a coping mechanism for that social anxiety. Wishing you the best
The pandemic has made it so much worse for me. Also finding out I'm autistic makes sense of my struggles to make and keep friends, and being lonely and isolated I use daydreaming to not get overwhelmed by the depressing reality of being alone.
The isolation of the pandemic has certainly led to many social and emotional consequences. Have you found that with vaccinations and the decrease of cases that you’ve been able to be around people more? Are there any tools you can use that may ease your social struggles with autism? I’m glad you found answers regarding the autism diagnosis. Context can definitely ease / erase self-blame, and it can give you new ways of discovering how to be from the place that you are and not where society expects you to be ❤️
@@thehealthywriter I'll be getting back into therapy which helps, besides that getting a customer facing job is good practice. Thanks for the kind words.
How do you deal with the silence/emptiness in your mind when you control or try to control the daydreaming? It's like going from a vivid world to an empty void. It's either the void, maladaptive daydreaming, or thinking about life matters repetitively.
There are a myriad of ways. I listen to podcasts or RUclipsrs in subjects I’m interested in. I don’t do that with all tasks, but it helps when I’m cleaning or doing other home things. You can also call friends and family, or see people. I think part of it is learning how to like the world and make it more vivid for you. Maybe that means changing your environment, getting more creative with your environment. I watched a video of a guy who made his house into a colorful museum, every area was painted and featured unique collectibles or things he had made. So maybe the first step is determining what kind of world you want to live in, and then figure out how to make that world possible for you.
@kennah3140 Aww I have Dutch family members and lived in the Netherlands for a time as a child. Amsterdam holds a special place for me. Glad the country has touched you as well. Definitely a special place. ❤️
@@thehealthywriteryes but what if u have the urge to daydream 24/7. U cant keep doing a highly interesting activity especially when u r in school like me. So it's all the time either day dreaming or resisting that irresistible urge. I don't feel there is a void when I stop daydreaming coz I just feel the urge to do it from the sec I stop
3 года назад+10
I was dreaming while listening to it that itself explains its severity
That definitely does! I wonder if you doodle or take notes as you listen... that might help ground you in the present. It's something I used to do when I was a student, and it definitely helped me listen more and kept my mind in the present. I believe there have been studies that show doodling is in fact conducive to concentration.
That is understandable, Dark Ghoul. If you do want to be more present in the world around you, you might want to think of ways to healthfully increase the pleasure of your real world.
@@thehealthywriter well, it’s kind of a loop that first makes your irl bad, then offers a escape that has pleasure… I’ll definitely try to implement some tips you suggested, thanks for the reply.
Thank you for this! I didn’t know this was a thing. I don’t feel so alone now. I am 25 and I have created characters in my head… perfect partner, friends and life and I tend to get super triggered when life isn’t aligned with my fantasies. I’ve been trying to quit it for years now and I still struggle… maybe now with more information on this condition I’ll be able to fight it.
Hey Juliana! You're welcome, and thanks for sharing your experiences. Glad you can have some answers. I have a few other videos on MD and will have more in the future, so feel free to subscribe and hit the bell for notifications if you'd like to stay in tune for those future vids. I think it's important to remember that not every technique in this video might serve you, but I think by at least giving each one a fair shot, you'll figure out things that can help mitigate and hopefully eliminate the unwanted daydreaming.
i started maladaptive daydreaming when i was in 7th grade and now im in 11th grade and i still constantly do it. i think it became my coping mechanism due to childhood trauma and feelings of anxiousness(not clinically diagnosed). i tried talking to my family about my struggles with mental health but they told me i'm still young to figure out and control my emotions. today is my day 1 of trying to stop md and i hope it gets better for me. thank you so much for your video, it made me feel less anxious knowing that i'm not alone :)
Hey Zim! Good for you for recognizing your need for support so young. I’m really sorry that when you reached out for that help, your feelings were dismissed, but I commend you so much for taking control of your own future and dedicating yourself to figuring out your own wellbeing (which is a lifelong action for all of us whether or not we do it). Check out the video on my page for EFT for MD if you haven’t. I also highly recommend using an emotion wheel and emotional freedom tapping for processing emotions which get stuck in the body with trauma. You can also look into trauma release exercises and trauma-based yoga. I believe you can work through this coping mechanism ❤️
@@thehealthywriter thank you so much for your response ❤️ anxiety(not clinically diagnosed) has always been a struggle for me to the point where it now affects my physical health (jaw clenching, lump in the throat, rapid heart rate, tmj, difficulty sleeping and hearing vivid voices when i'm highly anxious). i've tried numerous coping mechanisms but anxiety dominates my thoughts more and it always doesn't end well for me. thank you so much for your recommendation, i will try my very best and i hope it will help me. thank you so much, your response meant a lot to me ❤️
I want to stop, but I will literally have nothing left. PS; I listen to music, take my glasses off, and move around during my daydreams so they feel more real. I'm completely aware that I'm in an alternative reality that my mind is controlling. But it's where I escape to feel happy and safe. I (purposely) do it every day though Covid made it worse, they use to last about 20-30 minutes. But during Covid I went up to 4-5 hours. I'm genuinely scared to stop, I have an entire life there that I would have to let go of. I've been doing it since I was a kid, it's a part of me.
Hey Catherine, if I were you, I wouldn’t try to stop completely to begin with. Instead, I’d aim to introduce more joyful aspects of life. It sounds like you enjoy movement and music. What about taking a dance class? Or checking out some local live music? If you want to stop, I think one of your beat tactics might be branching out.
@@thehealthywriter Thank you so much! I'm going to start a yoga class really soon that I'm excited about and I will make the greatest attempt to branch out more lol, again thank you!
@@catherine.rome. Yoga is a great idea! Yoga is one of the things that helped me concentrate the most in my early-mid twenties. I've never regretted any yoga class I've taken. The benefits are fast, especially if you do it regularly. And cheers to branching out more! You're welcome. Wishing you more joy in the external world
I've been wondering about this for a while. I daydream like all the time. I started in highschool up now, college. I create so many romantic/stories in my head along with others. They are such detailed stories. The only thing i do is feel the emotions as if the situation happened in real life and make facial expressions.(reacting outloud) People have caught me so many times smiling at myself or laughing for no reason. Other than that i've never talked or paced around a room. I listen to music all the time and listen to specific songs to put my mind in the mood to daydream a specific story or mood. I always tell people i was thinking of something or its nothing. When im stressed or anxious, i daydream to escape the world. Its hard to sleep at night too. Thanks for explaining it to me. Glad to know im not alone.
@@mypoliticsofshit2629 its actually been happening less and less lately. I think because i started school again, i have been provided sort of a distraction. It is still happening though. I still daydream from time to time. I still put on music to daydream and stuff. The most its cause is more procrastination lol. One thing i will say is try to do some fun activities or keep being productive so your brain can be distracted. Luckily i dont have it as nearly as bad as others do. I just experience minor things. I hope it gets easier for you!
i have been in the same thoughts for 3 years nnow i am getting tired of living being in college and not being able to do normal things in life today i am going to start to break the cycle ill be back after a month here tank you for this fabulous video
That is a lot. I’m so sorry the effects have been so devastating. Have you begun to build your life back up? Have you begun to figure out your triggers and what helps?
Thank you for this video ❤ I've been daydreaming since I was 11 and now I'm 21 It gets worse and worse as I grow up. I have complicated characters who live in a certain house and I imagine myself to be one of them. Once I created them they started to grow and become more complex at the pointof having a real history in my own head. Now I want to quit this and put my best in my real life but I find it very very hard to say no to these ideas and daydreams. I think my problem was due to my personal life. I had a sick mom who died when I was at 13 and I had a violent father who used to stress me and degrade me now he is dead. I think that i've created that paracosm because I struggle with loneliness and I really want a partner who is impossible to have for me 😢 I hope All of you can get rid of this suff 😢
Aww Zee, I’m so sorry for your state of loneness so young. You can definitely quit and make your life how you want it. It’s going to be a process and take some time. One of the first things I would incorporate if I were you would be more supportive people. Do you have the ability to find a therapist where you are? Can you start joining communities where you share interests with others? The more people you meet, the more people you’ll have the chance to connect with. ❤️
I’m only ten, and I’ve been doing this my whole life its become an addiction. It was especially bad last year. I wasn’t happy with the boring reality so i created this imaginary world with everything that i wanted, and daydreaming was my favorite thing to do because I didn’t have to think of reality. I would daydream for hours and hours, to the point where i get too carried away and I’m not able to pay attention to what people are saying, and my grades were slowly dropping and getting worse and worse. The daydreaming is not as bad now, but i still daydream A LOT, and If i were to stop, I’d rather stop now while i can. Thanks for this video, it helped a lot!
Hi Tukata! As you’ve discovered, daydreaming can be a really beautiful activity! It’s good to recognize when an enjoyable activity takes up more time than you want it to, so I’m happy you found this video. Do you like to read fiction? That might be a nice way to step into imaginary worlds, improve your concentration, and help your studies!
I just wish that you are going to see that comment. Maybe you can't believe it, but you helped me a lot in just one video. I think I'm a maladaptive daydreamer, and things got worse when I started losing some of my memories because I was too stuck in my head. But you gave me a big hope that I could control it. Your energy, your voice, and the way you talk are just so great to be true. Please don't change it and continue doing this type of videos. Thank you so much. Take good care of yourself 🥰🤍.
Hi Herma! I see you, I hear you, and I’m so glad this video helped you. Thank you for the sweet words. There is a part II of this video that you can check out if you want more tips plus EFT for maladaptive daydreaming on my channel. I recommend being kind to yourself and taking it moment by moment. It takes time to develop unhealthy mechanisms, and it takes time to replace them. Appreciate the process along the way! Wishing you a journey full of discovery and growth ❤️
I tried to stop maladaptive daydreaming once, but I had one bad day and decided that reality was too much to handle then went back to daydreaming. I think I'll be able to stop, though
You can always start slow with half a day or some hours. It may also be a good idea to make a list of things you can do besides MD for comfort when you’re having a bad day ❤️
00:28 - What Is Maladaptive Daydreaming? 01:35 - How To Know If You're A Maladaptive Daydreamer? 03:25 - How To Escape Maladaptive Dreaming When It Becomes Problematic? 1. Identify And Reduce Triggers 03:33 2. Treat The Trauma 04:49 3. Talk To Yourself 05:53 4. Switch To Analytic Action 07:27 5. Redirection 08:46 6. Self Narrate 09:53 7. Track Your Time 10:43 8. Talk To Your Doctor 12:32
The first time I remember my daydreaming getting out of control I was around 15-16. It was at it's worst when I was between 19-24, when i would literally walk for hours lost in my head, usually super late at night because I had severe social phobia and didn't want people to see me. What made me realize how bad it was was when I'd started walking around 2am and completely checked out until around 11am when someone who had passed me earlier stopped to make sure I was okay. Im 30 now and It's naturally decreased as my mental health health has improved, but i still struggle with it pretty badly. I cant walk or listen to music without my mind drifting. The problem is I don't want to live in the present, the fact that I have to live at all physically hurts sometimes, and I honestly think I genuinely greive when I have to pull myself out of my head. I've tried to bring it up to a couple of different therapists, but they always mark it off as "Oh walking and music! Healthy coping mechanisms!" no matter how much i try to explain. I need to do something but for medication, SSRIs affect me very negatively. I feel completely insane. Especially because my daydreams arent even always positive. A lot of the time theyre genuinely distressing and have caused me to have panic attacks. Which I've never seen anyone else talk about. I'm sorry for getting depressing, I honestly just needed to vent 😅
Hey Amber! First off, congrats on learning how to decrease the maladaptive daydreaming. That sounds very tough not being able to be adequately heard by those therapists. Are you still seeing a therapist? Maybe you could try again by sending them an article about maladaptive daydreaming or even this video to provide more insight into what you go through when you get caught in a daydreaming cycle. Have you been able to find things that provide more meaning in your life and make you want to live more in the present?
I am commenting on this after seeing your past replies. I have been maladaptive daydreaming for almost forever now. Initially it just helped me get my mind off things but its been consuming me lately. I can't live in reality anymore. I have inexistent and my self inflicted version of people in my head. I am very aggressive and have developed sort of hatred for myself and all around me. I simply can't function to the point that living in reality is suffocating.
Hi Sadieee, that sounds really rough and painful. I’m sorry to hear of your struggles. What can you do to bring more community and support into your life? Can you get a therapist? What activities do you enjoy where you can meet and be around other humans?
Hey Ada! I feel you. First off, congratulations on seven years! That's amazing. And I hope you can recognize that without feeling too bad about the resurgence. Life is cyclical with ups and downs, and some of those downs are really intense, so try to give yourself some leeway and extra love and know that an up is right around the corner. Just gotta get through this trough. You can do it!
It's really taking huge chunks out of my life. my career is slipping through my fingers as we speak. It's been a coping mechanism for me since 2016, which I just realized a few months ago cause I didn't even know this was a thing and thought everyone else has this. I'm 18 and I don't want this to be my life. It has hindered my language development skills too. I've been meditating for months and it has helped me pull out on time. But what do I do when I don't wanna pull out of those dreams? Cause those dreams are always my ideal self and it feels really damn good
Hey Vander! I'd like to point out some really good parts of your comment: 1) You're eighteen. You're very young still. I don't know about your career, but as someone who struggled with career as well at different points in my life, I will say that it does get better if you can figure out what works for you and what doesn't. 2) You recognize a desire to change 3) It's awesome you know this. And it's awesome that you understand the benefits of an unwanted habit. What are ways that you can bring your ideal self to your life instead of daydreaming? What does your ideal self do that you can do? If they are at a certain career point or in a certain relationship, what steps can you take in real life to bring yourself closer to those things? (As a PS: Congrats on meditating for months. You are already seeing improvements by taking action, and that's really heartening)!
@@thehealthywriter thanks, can say april has been really good for me, Ive been working on my self esteem and confidence which has reduced my MD by a lot. I feel a lot more safe in reality than I used to. And yea I aligned my ideal self to a greek philosopher called Cato which keeps me in check of the activities I pursue, whether they help me achieve or at least get one step closer to being my ideal self.
@@vandermonke4178 those are amazing strides to make. Congratulations! That’s such a cool idea, focusing ob a philosopher you admire to keep your values aligned with your reality. Sounds like you’re making beautiful use of your imaginative gifts. Thank you for this update. Nice to see what changes can be made in only two months!
I don’t think MD can always be life threatening. For me, it has always been a good coping mechanism when i’m dealing with specific issues such as extreme depression but i can manage it and it never stops me from doing my daily tasks. I can be very productive and Im always aware of my surroundings.
Hey Kristiana! Thanks for the comment. Your perspective is a perfect example of when daydreaming isn't maladaptive. If you daydream in a way that's balanced, not compulsive/addictive, not intruding upon your daily/life/tasks, or otherwise negatively impacting your life, I would say you don't daydream in a maladaptive way. Daydreaming is a part of being human, and there's nothing wrong with it in and of itself. It's rather about balance.
I got out of the loop for years. Lost my dad a year ago and fell back to the bottom of it again. One step out at a time. RUclips has made it easier to stay self aware. TY for making this.
I’m so sorry for your loss. The trauma of losing a loved one is so much. I want to get into it more on my channel-you might look into the vagus nerve. Try “vagus nerve reset” or “stimulating the vagus nerve.” This can help calm inflammation in the body and the body as a whole, basically it helps stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest). It offers many benefits for those who are suffering with trauma and just for people who are overwired in general in one way or another. Sending you a lot of love, Day By Day. So sorry again for your loss.
I had no idea there was an actual name for this and that there were others.... WOW, thanks! Im glad i found this and i have a name that i can look into to learn more
when i start to daydream things i automatically switched to an imaginary world like as if iam there in real and iam also starting to talk to myself and making facial expressions, sometimes people suddenly notice me that iam acting in a weird manner, and once i realised that people noticed me acting and talking to myself i feel embarrassed . is this condition called maladaptive daydreaming? i recently noticed this from me
It sounds like maladaptive daydreaming to me. It can involve movement and acting out. It's that getting so caught up in the daydreaming that it's becoming half-real through your motions.
Today i woke up at 10 am and got out of bed at 4:50pm, and i only got up because ive got a tution at 5 and an alarm went off. Before the holidays i was able to sleep and wake up at right times because i knew i had to, its now taking me hours to sleep and hours to wake up. This is crazy.
Sometimes when you go through a busy or stressful period, your body needs more rest after! It might be your body trying to offer you some extra restoration. If it is ongoing and beginning to interrupt your daily life, can be worth going to the doctor to make sure you’re not deficient in some nutrients and/or that you’re properly breathing at night ❤️
I never comment on videos but this was truly helpful. Ive been doing this since I was a child, I found myself daydreaming in the shower this morning when I was limited on time and I cut my dream off before I could even really form the characters. So I guess that’s progress. Thank you for the tips. New subscriber! Hope you continue making videos🤎
Hey Mang0! Appreciate your comment. I'm so glad this video was helpful. That definitely sounds like progress! With any habit you want to change, take it one day at a time. It sounds like you're already off to a great start! There's a part II of this vid if you want more ideas. Thanks for subscribing
This video is bring back memories as a young child when I would be in my room, expected to be napping, but instead I would sit in my bed, face the headboard and talk to nobody...I would pretend I was giving some sort of presentation about things in my room. It's normal for kids to have imaginations and play with imaginary friends...but this was very different. A big thing is the fact that I did this privately, whereas imaginative play was very out in the open. I'm realizing now that I dont remember a time where I didn't do maladaptive daydreaming. I'm a big pacer and whisperer which my husband has caught me doing and was super embarrassing 😅🤦♀️ and I often gesture as well. It can be both therapeutic and disruptive, depending on what is going on in my life and my emotional response to the stressor. When I have more anxiety it's worse. When I have plain, simple anger it's therapeutic. I also just love doing it as I'm laying in bed waiting to fall asleep.
Yes! It is definitely normal for kids to do this. I think the level of envelopment matters, and also whether or not it becomes a problematic behavior. As a child, it might not have been maladaptive at that point because presumably you had more time to play pretend presentations, but as an adult, it might be more intrusive. Thank you for sharing your experience! Hope this video may be able to offer you some relief. If it’s coming up more for you in times of stress, I wonder at what other stress management or self-soothing techniques you might be able to introduce into your life to help ❤️
thank you so much for this, originally it was a safe space i could get to wherever i was and whatever im doing but now it’s getting in the way of me doing more in life
Just found about Maladaptive daydreaming, and I feel ashamed of myself. I started noticing how extreme the scenarios in my head are so I've been searching for something to help me quit and I think that's the thing I've been searching for. I pace around my house, laugh, cry, make facial expressions without noticing while daydreaming and it goes on for HOURS. Hell, I think I've wasted my life daydreaming about things that I know aren't real. It's probaby because of my constant feeling of guilt and lonliness ;I need to stop this daydreaming before it destroys me lol.
Hi! Glad you found this video. I think shame is a thing that comes up for people with most addictive habits. We want to have self-efficacy and feel in control of ourselves, and when we struggle with that, it's natural to feel "bad" about it, but I hope as you work through this maladaptive habit that you can be kind to yourself. It's really okay!!! The important thing is that you're here, you have information about how to proceed to mitigate the habit, anddddd it sounds like you know exactly which emotions are leading to an increase in the habit. Have you considered therapy/do you have access to a therapist? Can you spend more time with others and push yourself to meet new people to decrease the loneliness? Can you get out of the house more, so you don't have an "easy" environment to give into the habit? By committing to actions that will naturally decrease the habit, you'll start reclaiming your life again!
I wish i can stop i wanna quit music and daydreaming it never ends it doesn't even feel fun anymore i always do it whenever i try to stop i return back again i feel like a failure at this point
Thank you for this! MD has caused me many issues throughout the past few years, and I am so happy to finally be able to understand what I'm dealing with and finding ways to tackle it and get it under control. Whenever I tend to get lost, I like to look around wherever I am and pick out objects or someone who is actually with me and tell myself: "This is real. I am here." I'll have to add time tracking to my methods! :]
Aww so you were already implementing grounding language! Good for you, Victoria! I'm glad you found this video. There is a part II you can check out as well that may prove helpful! + EFT for maladaptive daydreaming and a meditation on my channel. Congratulations on making strides to reducing this habit. May you continue to find success in doing so :)
After 5 years English lessons i can understand videos and speakers without subtitles!!In Russia problem of daydreaming important too, unfortunately we have little part of information about this in our language, and many people dont know English. I'm a daydreamer too,it began about two years ago,when a was 12.And this video really helps me, thanks!!Sorry for my grammatic mistakes,a hope my letter is not very bad :)
Hi youhoney! Congratulations on learning English so well. I’m so glad you were able to find this video, and I hope it helps you manage your daydreaming. You’re welcome! Be well ❤️
I have compulsions to get up and dance or pretend I'm singing on a stage when I listen to music since a very young age. I love music so it is quite hard to quit it. I have never told anybody before, for obvious reasons. I will apply what you said, whenever I get these compulsions I will try and do something like cleaning, reading or just going out in general. Interestingly enough I found your channel searching a band that I like called Daydreamers lol. Thanks again 🙏, will continue watching part 2.
Have you ever tried any forms of dance? That might be a great way to stay connected with your body and the present and healthfully answer the compulsion. It can also be a great way to meet new people!
@thehealthywriter I have not thought of it. Cause it does seem like sometimes I need to burn energy by actually dancing to maybe an specific genre. The only thing is that I love indie music which isn't really a genre that anyone would imagine you could dance in choreography or so. I might start doing exercising and also do a bit of meditation like we mentioned yesterday, that would help burning that energy that sometimes my body seems to ask for. You are great help, please keep it up ✨🙏🏻
I lost in my fantasy world most of the time and this is affecting my daily life like my behaviour, how i respond , lack of comprehension, slow react and response.. It's now getting worse because people think im ignorant, rude and some people think im mentally unstable 😢😢
Aww don't worry about what other people think. You can't know for sure what they think (unless they're telling you this), and even if they are telling you this, you just have to focus on doing your best and taking it one day, one moment at a time
I learned that I am going through this a year ago I didn't think much about it until later when I relalised it has severely affected my productivity. I need get it in check It's very severe I am starting from this video and try to use the techniques you mentioned in the video. My triggers is mostly music but once caught in such a loop I end up wasting valuable hours of my day and end getting non of the goals accomplished. I noted that the more I surround myself with people while working it helps get stuff done at first I thought I just function that way better now I realised that it just to avoid my maladaptive day dreaming. I should try a music detox for a month and see if it works but it's gonna be difficult for me. I'll try journaling my activies as well. If I get through with it I'll come back and give you my feedback.
Yes, please do come back and update! And remember to be kind to yourself on the journey. One day at a time. It takes time to change habits. The music detox sounds like a great idea considering that's a trigger for you. Also, yay on finding that working around others is a helpful technique!
i’ve been maladaptive daydreaming since 2019, i managed to stop doing it at the beginning of this year but after my mother went into hospital in february and then passed in april, it really came back to help me cope with the situation. i’m currently trying my best to stop doing it, thank you for the video!
Aww I’m so sorry about your mother. Returning to a coping mechanism in a time of grief makes sense. My good habits can become more compromised during times of stress as well. That’s normal. Hope you can find the space for a lot of compassion for yourself and room to grieve. Journaling and finding ways to still feel connected to your mum may help. Sending you a lot of love and a big virtual hug ❤️
well, it is not only you who is going throw this I am there too, will do it , might be it will be slow but definitely we can do it...well, THANK YOU for this video..I know if I will share about md with my family surely all will think I am crazy(In a way they are right, like it seems we are exaggrating, cause they aren't suffering from so..) The saddest thing is I started this by my own but its fine I wasn't aware of ..still people like us who can't share this need people like you.. thanks
You're welcome! You are not crazy, and you don't have to share what you're going through with anyone you don't think will be supportive. Just remember that it was a habit that once helped you, and since you began it, you can stop it. I hope you can find benefits from some of these methods. I also have a part II and a video for EFT for Maladaptive Daydreaming, so check out those for more ideas/ways to help you stop. Take care
That "Treat the trauma" techinique is not possible for me considering i'm still living the trauma but i really liked the others!I don't know if they're going to work but i'm gonna at least try because that's really messing with my studies and i need to pass an important test to get a good job and leave that house. Thank you for the video!It was really helpful
Hi Ana! I hear you. There are ways of maintaining yourself through storms, like yoga which is a modality that many trauma treatment books reference because it is so beneficial for healing. Best of luck with your studies and finding your way to a happier, healthier life
Aww Mariam, I know it's tough. I think the first step is to believe in yourself, then take baby steps. Measure how much time you spend on MDD from day to day, and see if you can cut down on that time. It's not about perfection. It's just about taking back the power to manage your life the way you want to. Small steps can make a big difference. I think one of the best methods is to constantly ground yourself in the present. You can find some grounding exercises in my video "Five Ways to Stop a Panic Attack Fast." These are great ways to bring yourself back to the present. In both a panic attack and MDD, there's dissociation, so it makes sense that techniques for one can be beneficial for the other. I believe in you! Baby steps!
thank you so much for making this. i have been struggling with md ever since i can remember and its definitely becoming a problem. i am actively fighting the urge to md as i am typing this. i know most of my dreams are related to me getting recognition or me just hanging out with friends i have made up in my head. like me randomly having a normal conversation with kurt cobain or someone (fully aware of how weird that is 😭) i also have anxiety so to escape from anxiety inducing tasks i end up maladaptive daydreaming. i am going to implement your advice from now on. once again thank you.
Good job getting through the comment! It's tough to change a habit you've had so long, so be kind and gentle on yourself as you reclaim your time. And since you know it's a method of self-soothing when you're anxious, some of the first steps you can take are finding other self-soothing tricks for anxiety. I have a few on my channel. I'll try to drop some links below
Here are some tricks for anxiety: ruclips.net/video/Tt9Eqolyncc/видео.html ruclips.net/video/3tjDqzTV0N4/видео.html ruclips.net/user/shortslz5s6qRueV8?feature=share EFT for MD: ruclips.net/video/bX6Uj0ILq3g/видео.html Meditation for MD: ruclips.net/video/8pwcCwAyPpk/видео.html Part II for Quitting MD: ruclips.net/video/mhN20hyJT_A/видео.html It may be helpful to make a private playlist on RUclips of these videos and/or any others that help you, and any time you're struggling with MD or anxiety, you can just refer to the playlist. I do that with different issues I have, and it works really well. Hope this helps, and congratulations on starting to curb this habit! Remember to be kind and patient to yourself as you make these new life readjustments
thank you for sharing. MD is like the weed to me... any time I feel depressed my mind would automatically start to weave those happy plot fantasy life and I would immerse myself in them. always feel relieved when it happens, but after that the worse feeling often occurs cuz I know im just using fantasy to escape reality.The worst part is that while many people daydream about themselves playing different roles, I am constantly imagining other people's lives. ridiculously I don't have myself in my md, totally suffering or happy for other people. tried to quit it but it's too addictive, currently Im using a method to record my daydreams on phone/notebook as soon as it appears and then read out loud when I m alone, somehow it helps a bit
Hi Yuchan! Thanks for the comment. It sounds like you've identified MD as a self-soothing behavior. It's so normal as humans to strive to self-soothe. It's very interesting that you've noticed you replace yourself within your daydreams. I am not a psychologist, so take this as you wish, but it does make me wonder if there are parts of yourself that you're rejecting by separating from yourself within your daydreams. I think it's more normal than it's talked about to reject aspects of ourselves. I hope you know that you are entirely lovable and wonderful as you are and still see that within that love and wonder, there's room for growth. I think it can be helpful to practice radical self-love and acceptance when you recognize that you're producing habits that are in contrast to that. Have you tried EFT for Maladaptive daydreaming? (I do have a video for it). Or even EFT for recurring emotions. Brad Yates who is also on RUclips has just about every emotion you can think of, and when I feel overwhelmed by a particular emotion, I like to visit his channel as a way to process that emotion as opposed to revisiting my own self-soothing but less wanted behaviors. That's very cool about recording your daydreams as they happen. I might try that! It sounds like a very creative and engaging exercise. Thank you so much for sharing
@@thehealthywriter Ohhhh this is a very heart warming reply from you and very thoughtful, too. thank you for being so kind and sharing the knowledge🥰. since you ve pointed out, yes I definitely agree on there’s something about self love &acceptance I can put effort into and work on. I'll check out the channel you recommend and the eft techniques(or its a treatment? Anyway I ll figure out) wish we can all become better ❤️Thank you again for taking the time and energy to make such helpful videos on MD and sharing thoughts with everyone
@@surenaricha More techniques than treatment. It stands for Emotional Freedom Tapping! Yes, it's all about growth and trying our best. Glad you found this video helpful. I will likely be making more MD vids in the future, so stay tuned
1:37 all the things listed I can relate to. i am fairly new to maladaptive daydreaming only really started researching it last year. i have been doing maladaptive daydreaming since i can remember (around 6 or 7) i am 18 now and I've been doing Mdaydreaming for a long time. usually, i pace around the kitchen or a hallway or in my room. often with music but not always. i rarely can daydream sitting down unless there is music. things that have helped me break the cycle is counting in Japanese in my head, i do this when walking or crossing the road. also writing down my daydreams. i can't really dream a daydream once i write it down. however, i usually end up changing the details of the dream which lets me continue the daydream. so just a quick fix. also narrating my actions is also really great to shut down the Daydreaming but i get a bit self-conscious doing it around others. really great video
The counting is a good one! I've done that in French or Dutch, and it helped in the past, or focusing on any kind of language studying (probably 'cause it's getting into those other parts of the brain). Nice on the writing them down. Thanks! There's a part two that you can check out if it's helpful, and I also have an EFT and meditation for maladaptive daydreaming on this channel
This video is extremly interesting. I personally truly think "exessively" daydreamins can be a strengh (if it does not stop you from doing essential things). I remeber once I had a 6 hours bus ride and I daydreamed for the whole of it. The time passed really quickly and I could smile, even laugh on my own. It was like watching a tv show in my head. In that case, I don't think we can call it maladaptive, because I didn't really have anything else to do.There even was a situation where I was daydreaming while running, and because I was not focused, I did more than usual. However, I agree I can sometimes start daydreaming in situations I really whsh I was more present, or use it to escape from unpleasant situations. I also have insomnia and I procrastinate sleeping telling myself "I'll daydream a bit more". Thank you for giving some solutions. I will do my best to find a balance between my imagination and reality.
I'm almost 22 and i still do this, i have a bad life and kind of stressful, my girlfriend also left me. I do daydreaming to escape all of these, it makes me happy when i visualized things inside my head but then it makes me sad realizing I'm not going anywhere. I can't live like this i achieve nothing, my younger self is not proud of me now. I should've get rid of it and focus on myself.
Hey NYC, I’m sorry to hear that life isn’t going the way you’d like. You’re still very young though. You have a lot of life left in you! Instead of focusing on what you didn’t do before, try to be kind with yourself. We all have moments where we wish we had made a different decision, but we can only start where we are in this moment. The important thing: you know what you want to do. And right now is the moment to do it. You found my video, and now you have different ways of activating positive change. You can do this!
i’ve been maladaptive daydreaming for as long as i can remember. i just recently became concerned about it bc i noticed that i haven’t met anyone else who does it. i realize how lost in fantasy i get. a lot of the time, i’m just fantasizing about a fresh start or even just talking to a therapist (which i cannot afford right now) so it’s not that it’s harmful or anything but i know it’s an obsessive habit and for the first time ever i feel so seen!
Hi Lili! So glad you can feel seen! Just know that a lot of people do this habit (and people don’t often announce it because they don’t know a name for it or they feel embarrassed). You’re not alone, and you can curb the daydreaming if you would like! From what you shared, you could find someone who you just enjoy talking to on a person-to-person level like a friend you feel comfortable with who’s a good listener. As for a fresh start, you could journal about what that would look like and what smell steps you can make today or tomorrow toward that fresh start. ❤️
I struggled w maladaptive daydreaming when I was younger, but managed to stop. When covid hit it started again because I was isolated from friends. & now I can’t stop I spend many hours daydreaming then regret it later. I can’t focus anymore & paying attention turned into a hard task. It didn’t have much impact on my grade bc when I want to be a doctor when I grow up, so I ask myself which MD I want when I’m older lmao. I found this video helpful ❤️
Hi Zi! Aww yeah, I think covid dredged up a lot of challenges. I’m so glad this video has proven helpful for you, and I hope you can continue to get back to a healthy place. The good reminder is that since you stopped before, you know you can again. It’s like getting back into a healthy exercise routine! ❤️
@@qoxx same but the thing is ,I HAVE to focus on my real life..listen if it’s not taking ur real life time and taking over u every time u try to do a task,ig it’s totally fine
thank you so much. this was really helpful even though I just have started to observe patterns being formed , mainly because of the way I'm left alone most of the time but this video comforted me a lot especially when you laughed it out like u were a friend of mine who totally understands me, I absolutely loved the way u put it forward and it just made it much easier for me to accept how I can actually get through this.
Aww I’m so glad! You are definitely not alone in this, and there are many ways to mitigate this habit (there’s also a Part II to this on my channel). It’s been such an isolating time worldwide, so I definitely know how you feel. If you can start to find healthy communities around you, that can definitely help
I'm 26 and I've been lost in my head for over a decade to cope with loneliness. I know I've repressed my trauma. Trying to escape these so I can focus on life.
Hi Yuki! I hear you. Do you have a therapist or an ability to get one who may be able to help heal your trauma? Do you have any good friends you can spend time with to ease your loneliness?
I think the only reason my brain let me to see this video till the end without dropping me out in dreaming is the fact that you are extremely pretty! 😇
Im 15 turning 16 I also get a thought of wanting ti be reborn with my current mindset and start working on making my daydreams become a reality as much as I can
It’s never too late or early to make your dreams a reality ❤️ I am going to make a video in the next few months on dreamlining (turning your dreams into reality). Make sure to subscribe and click the bell for notifications if that would interest you ❤️
I think talking aloud saying “you’re imagining talking to someone you only spoke to a handful of times 6 years ago and imagining an entire discourse, this isn’t fair to you or the person and not a reflection of reality”. The turning off the empathy is an interesting idea. I’m an artist and I think my daydreams get worse when I’m “in my feelings”. I need to find that analytical switch.
The analytical switch can definitely help. I was feeling very distracted and a little dysregulated a couple weeks ago, and I started practicing some basic French with a couple RUclips videos, and in no time I was more grounded and present. Brains are wild.
Thank you so much for your wonderful and helpful video! 🧡 Your suggestion about narrating one's actions is super helpful. I'll have to try writing the times down of things - this seems like a great way to identify triggers. Thanks again😊
You're welcome! I'm glad you could find the tips beneficial. The time tracking is super helpful to counter procrastination as well haha You're welcome again!
I'm so glad! There's a part II on my channel as well if you haven't seen it! And I'm planning on posting more maladaptive daydreaming videos in the future, so definitely subscribe and hit the bell for notifications if you'd like to stay in tune for those MD vids
I started excessively daydreaming when i was about 11 or 12 and as time went on it just got worse and worse. I'm 23 now and i've been able to ease up on it a bit, but it's still at a point where it gets in the way of me working or socializing. I noticed it starting to be a real problem when i would get angry/irritated after not being able to do it for a long time, and only when i could fully immerse myself back into the daydream, would I calm down. I really don't know if i could ever be capable of stopping it completely because it does bring me some joy in my life. I know daydreaming is a pretty common thing and it definitely helps me create stories and characters for my projects, but I don't know how to keep myself from falling off the edge when I do it.
Hi McKayla! It sounds like the daydreaming has been a main source of self-soothing for you? Do you have other means of doing that especially when you get angry or irritated? Specific types of exercise like running or kickboxing where you can exert bursts of energy could probably be helpful. Meditation and breathwork also come to mind. I think it’s great that you recognize the benefits of the daydreaming and can also recognize a desire to have a bit more balance when it comes to it.
@@thehealthywriter For sure it has, it's always been something that's made me happy and as i've gotten older i've started recognizing the harm it can do. Thankfully a few years ago I was able to let go of some of it, so the irritation doesn't come on as easily anymore. Finding a good replacement for it is a real good idea, i'll have to try out a few things and see what sticks! At least blocking out some of my day focusing on other things could help a lot.
@@mckaylakrygier6956 Good for you! Brad Yates has a great RUclips channel that has all Emotional Freedom Tapping videos. I have some on my channel, but his is extensive, and he has every emotion you can think of. I find it a really beneficial tool to process emotions. Thanks for sharing your experience with MD!
I'm a heavy but happy day dreamer. Just so you know, i started a keto regime 2 weeks ago, and, unfortunately for me as i'm a happy daydreamer, it totally stopped my day dreamings, to the point I'm having difficulty to fall in sleep as daydreaming was always part of my routine. My spirit always stays in the present, no more mind wandering too. If you are an unhappy daydreamer, i suggest you to give it a try.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Diet can greatly improve focus and mental health aspects. I don’t know much about the keto diet, but there is a RUclips channel Living with Schizophrenia, and she’s been on a keto diet to see how that may benefit her. Sorry to hear your sleep has been impacted. Weighted blankets can help with sleep and relaxing breathwork (I like alternate nostril breathing and box breathing), and humming can be a calming trick as well before bed. Maybe something like journaling or reading a physical book before sleep could also help to re-engage in a different creative way. ❤️
Gotchya. In that case, that technique will not work for you as you've identified that it's an aspect of the challenge. So, in that case, try the other techniques. All of us have individualized needs and what works for one person isn't necessarily going to work for another. Identify the systems that work for you and forget the rest if they're not helpful!
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
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Thank you
Part II to Quitting Maladaptive Daydreaming is here:
ruclips.net/video/mhN20hyJT_A/видео.htmlsi=oNWnGTDF3COpjurR
Guided EFT for Maladaptive Daydreaming:
ruclips.net/video/bX6Uj0ILq3g/видео.htmlsi=CP53kCZLk1GI_FhK
30-day meditation for Maladaptive daydreaming:
ruclips.net/video/8pwcCwAyPpk/видео.htmlsi=sLZ0jnng9SE5OwMX
Listener Write In #1 Maladaptive Daydreaming & Shame:
ruclips.net/video/ZBmUMb1CqtM/видео.htmlsi=JtCGvoZ-RrWhSy0E
Maladaptive daydreaming playlist:
ruclips.net/p/PLHlHxeERjH5qxfAXpjRk8paog20zWJvis&si=1xeevbpUOd2VgN4K
Normally I pace around my room and listen to music while daydreaming but I still end up integrating my daydream characters into other real life tasks, even if daydreaming wasnt the initial plan. Like when i'm cooking a meal by myself or even just watching netflix, i'll imagine the characters doing the thing with me and whenever I try to just do stuff and be present in reality I just feel bored and like im in a void. Its so annoying 😂
Aww I gotchya. Who doesn’t want company now and then? Haha. Do you have some friends you can start inviting over to do these activities with you? ❤️
You just summarized my life
Sameeee
Nahhh same thing here oml
i used to pace then i stopped as i got older and now i just stare at this photo album, listen to music, and do weird movements. it's so sad to me and i hate being this way. i hear it's linked to trauma but idc if my situation is traumatic bc i kinda deny it. i grew up with my sick mom who was also abusive and we were in and out of foster care bc of that. i took care of her until i was 12 bc she passed, after i got back from foster care. the man she married whom, i won't call my stepfather, became verbally abusive after she passed and put me out when i was 13. I was lucky to have my eldest brother bc he took me and got legal custody of me. now i've been MDing since but even when i was a kid i was always stuck in my head bc i couldn't watch tv i just had the four walls in my room and my books. i'd watch the kids play from my window and pretend i'm out there. i guess it stems from all that but i don't wanna accept it ig.
Is hard to get over this, it truly like a drug
U can if you want to
@@cherychristopher7016its really not as simple as wanting to stop. That is literally why its an addiction, because you want to stop but you cant.
@@Loopisusterrible addiction I have tried severally to let go of, but it surely does come back after a month 😢
@@christianaakinrinbowun8756 ive gone through the same cycles and its very very frustrating and demoralizing :( I hope things will improve for you one day
@@christianaakinrinbowun8756 don't give up
Perseverance is the key 💯👍
I have been so ashamed of admitting this, this habit has taken on an average of 6-7 hours of my day for the past 4 years, it has helped me to learn a lot about myself but it's time I bid this addiction goodbye, this comment section spoke to me in ways I've never felt before
Thanks your comment has made me feel less alone
I've had this issue ever since I've been a small child and now that I'm 16 I just can't seem to stop and it's ruining my life. I also take 4+ hours a day just daydreaming. You're not alone.
Just waking up every morning is the trigger for me. Being awake is a trigger, there's nothing in my life that i like, so i escape
Same for me. It is hard and sad. I'm only happy and existing in my oniric life.
What helped me was getting closer to Jesus ❤🙏 Get closer with God and you'll see big changes that you never thought you could do. This used to be a big addiction for me, but miraculously it has gone away withitin 2 months of me having faith in Jesus to get rid of it. ❤ God bless you.
@@raindaviszI literally was a Christian when I was maladaptive daydreaming. I mean, what if someone starts maladaptive daydreaming about God or something?
Same!
@@raindavisz This isn't the same outcome for everyone. Remember that maladaptive daydreaming is a very bad mental issue that can become very serious.
Loneliness, Self dissatisfaction, Isolation, and Traumatic experiences are all reasons why I use this mental diasscoation coping mechanism. It saved me
Hi Catherine, it’s really good that you can pinpoint the reasons behind this coping mechanism! Are you able to see a local mental health professional? Do you have people in your life who care about you and who you can trust? What if you made a list of three things you want to accomplish in the next year or one thing you want to accomplish in the next few months and made a ten minute effort toward that task everyday. Based on what you’ve shared, I think your best strategy is countering the causes: 1) Get out and meet more people or make plans with the people you already know 2) Get a mental health professional and / or supportive people on your side 3) Outline some things you’re called toward, the things you enjoy doing that are fun or might be fulfilling and start doing them. I’m glad this coping mechanism has gotten you to this point. That said you deserve a fulfilling life shared with other humans that brings you joy ❤️
@@thehealthywriter Thank you so much. Honestly, the time you gave to type this comment and give me advice alone is starting the water works😂. I greatly appreciate it and I will look into consulting a mental health professional. Thank you again and I hope your life is filled with tranquility and joy!
@@josephleone8054 Hey Joseph! Somehow I missed your comment. I think redirection for positive uses of your imagination is certainly a good technique. There's nothing wrong with daydreaming; it's just insuring you're not doing it so much that it negatively impacts your life. I'm sorry to hear about the relationship with your daughter. Have you thought about seeing a therapist who may be able to assist you in your relationships? I think sometimes we all get caught in wanting what we want from our loved ones that we don't always allow them to be who they are (and sometimes vice versa). I've found that having a therapist to talk out relational challenges can help me find the language for difficult conversations which ultimately helps have healthier communications with loved ones.
@@catherine.rome. You're welcome, Catherine. Aww that means a lot to me. I'm glad my response is helpful. Getting a really good therapist a few years back changed the course of my life. It's amazing what consistent, healthy support can really do for your overall wellbeing. Finding a therapist can be challenging. I have a video here if you'd like some tips on how to find a good one: ruclips.net/video/A80vLCS4tMM/видео.html
Ultimately, whatever you can do to improve your overall wellbeing will have a positive impact on all other areas of your life. I hope your life is filled with tranquility and joy as well!
@@catherine.rome.You made my day reading your comments 😅 I hope you find everything you need! You’re not alone in anything ❤
This started for me around five. At age 8 or 9 I’d thought I would grow out of this way of thinking. I’m 23 and I never did. I’m learning today that MD is what I’ve been doing all my life.
Took me most of my life to realize too, so I understand. P.S. Joy Division is cool haha
@@thehealthywriter thank you! Yeah again I’d thought It was a phase until I realized it wasn’t
I'm almost twenty-four but the truth is, aside from procrastinating on my chores, I honestly prefer my fantasies and daydreams over reality...
Hey same! I’m 23 too and started around that age. It’s def tough to breakout of it
yah im 46 and still do it.
I’m failing my senior year because of daydreaming): my whole life I’ve been in a constant day dream to escape my abusive household but this year it’s BAD. I stay home from school so I can walk around my room all day muttering to myself, pretending to be in my daydream. it’s horrible. It also makes me VERY aggressive, whenever a family member tries to talk to me when I’m daydreaming(which is all the time) I go off on them. I even leave fun events with my friends or leave work early to daydream. Sometimes I don’t go to school because I’m having a good daydream in bed, but then when I finish the scenario I regret it. There’s so many other factors to why it’s ruining my life, but those are a few. I need and want to stop. I think once I move out of my abusive household, I’ll be better.
Hi Vivica, I am so, so sorry. Can you get any adults on your side for support, even if that’s just a trusted teacher to have as someone kind and stable in your life who you can open up to. It makes so sense as to why you would want to disconnect from your daily life. With trauma (and life), it’s vital to get back into the body via healthy diet (brain-boosting foods-blueberries, spinach, etc) and via exercise-yoga, meditation, or even just walks at safe times during the day. Do you have friends you can take walks with to cut down on the md? I am positive you will experience relief when you get out of your abusive household too, and it would be wonderful to get you an easier bridge there by finding peace in your body via exercise and diet even if you can’t currently find it in your home. I’m so sorry again. Sending you a lot of love and hope for happier and healthier times ahead. ❤️
Oh my God I'm in the same position I LITTERALY have mocks in a week...I've been just failing atp and I'm in my senior year its ruining my life
Sorry to hear of all the reasons MD has come into your life. Hope things turn around soon.
Here is a person who moved out from abusive household. It’s been 7 months since I left my parents and now I am doing my bachelor degree in another city. Actually I found out information about maladaptive daydreaming two-three weeks ago and now I know the reason due to which I am smiling all of the time without any reason, due to which it is not interesting for me to talk with people and due to which I lose my concentration when I am learning something. And even now after leaving abusive parents I am having these daydreams in my head all of the time. I know that these thoughts are killing me but I don’t know how to stop them
this is the realest paragraph i've ever read.
I'm on day 4 of trying to break the cycle. I know I won't miss these people in my head. They're so intrenched in my thought process, I don't know how to have my own thoughts and ideas without acting them out through my characters. I know this is bad for me, I thought I'd be more successful in life. Yes, i have anxiety but it's not too bad; i don't think i've ever experienced trauma.
Hey Stephanie! It’s tough when it’s a four-day barrel of thoughts. Have you tried writing the characters down? It may be a way to ground yourself. I’d also recommend the time-tracking exercise and meditation. Getting into your body will help you get a bit more out of your mind. I also recommend being kind to yourself. Of all the problems to have, there’s something rather beautiful about being a daydreamer. Obviously, it’s not conducive to certain goals, but it must be serving you in some way (even if not trauma-based). Have you been able to analyze the themes that come up for your daydreams and think about how they’re serving a need you’re not getting IRL?
PS I recently made a part II. If you haven’t checked it out, here it is ruclips.net/video/mhN20hyJT_A/видео.html
I think one thing to acknowledge is that you’ve probably been doing this for a long time right? It’s probably a fairly old habit, so it will take some time to change it. Try to be kind and patient with yourself. It sounds like you’re doing the best you can, and I think you’re amazing for that
I sing songs or recite a poem. I’m Catholic so an easy one for me is the Lord’s Prayer.
I can sooo relate
Omg the same
Ironically enough I was daydreaming as I was watching this video. I've been addicted to it for seven years. It has been going on for so long that I reached the point where I could no longer see how much of a problem it is. From now on I just want to learn to live in the present moment again.
Hey Charlotte! I hear you. Have you identified your triggers? Have you identified things that help? Do you recognize places in your life where you could add more joy? I often think of maladaptive dreaming as a form of maladaptive longing. I think a lot of maladaptive daydreamers are yearning for aspects of their lives that they don't have, and so the mind offers a kindness with the imagination giving the daydreamer what they seem to want. Sometimes it's a stress release or unmet desire. Analyzing your internal needs that are bound up with triggers can be really helpful. I'm thinking about putting out a guide, so feel free to subscribe and stay tuned for that!
@@thehealthywriter I started using the technique mentioned in the video of narrating what I'm doing as I'm doing it. It works really well. There's a self help book which I have found on MD which I'm planning to read too. That's what it comes down to; my life has been less than ideal over the past years and I have used daydreaming as a way of escaping existential boredom and loneliness. But the daydreaming can trap you and take away your motivation to take action to ameliorate your own life because you get sucked into your imagination and lose touch with reality.
Hey @@charlottewortley1245! That's awesome that worked for you. I like that one a lot because it magnifies self-awareness to kind of an absurd level and brings reality back. Grounding exercises in general are great for MD. Sometimes if I find I'm spacey, I just name five objects around me, and it gets me grounded again in the present. Ooh, what book is that?
Yes! Totally. I hear you on everything you're saying. I think worldwide, there are so many numbing habits and habits of escapism. Any habit can be maladaptive or harmful if it's used to suppress or repress the self; bingeing TV, oversleeping, playing too many video games, drinking too much alcohol, etc. All of these can have qualities that feel beneficial but if used to excess, they're not going to bring about positive life outcomes. The last few years have been universally strange. I think a lot of people are striving to find their way back to themselves post-pandemic. I'm so glad you're finding things that work for you!
@@thehealthywriter The book is 'Freedom from Maladaptive Daydreaming' by Katherine Andler. Another grounding technique which I developed recently is going through each colour of the rainbow consecutively and finding objects in your surroundings which have corresponding colours, Eg. 'Red traffic lights', 'yellow buttercups'. Hopefully others might find it useful too :)
@@charlottewortley1245 oh wow that’s such a beautiful grounding technique. Hmm now I have to think do I know the rainbow colors consecutively… roy g… hmm can’t remember the rest of the mnemonic trick haha. That’s lovely though! Thanks for sharing the book too.
If you are feeling dismotivated there is hope to overcoming this vice.I started maladaptive daydreaming when i was 12/13 and now im almost 17. I now realize how much it affected my life, making me feel worthless, making me go into bad habits, and all the bad things that were happening in my life were because of that really. When i first realized what md was and how it ruined my life was three months ago. I would spend i think ab three hours of my daily life daydreaming, whether it was during my school classes, my free time or even my ballet classes. The day that i really panicked was when i had spent ab the whole chemestry class(40 min) daydreaming. And then i made a decision to stop. Three months later i can´t even imagine how i could spend so many time in my head. Md is, still, a battle that i have daily, however sometimes i spend a whole day without even having the urge to do it, or when it comes i say no we´re not doing that. In the worst cases when i step into md(like today, that´s why i searched this video) it´s only ab ten minutes. Ten minutes is still a lot for non maladaptive daydreamers but for me, even though im teally disappointed at myself for falling into md again, is a huge victory that my worse is ten minutes.
Congratulations on your progress! Thank you for sharing this as inspiration for others ❤️
Do you have any tips that worked for you? I have my exams coming up and I really need some helppp 😢😅
You gave us hope thank you ❤
I spent daydreaming every single class in hs
Thank you for this video… im 32 years old I’ve been maladaptive daydreaming ever since a kid maybe around 6 or 7. I put on headphones, blast my music and rock back and fourth on my couch. I can do this for hours on end and it’s very depressing. Daydreams usually just consist of me imagining my best self, my dreams accomplished, being successful, it’s very addictive and I hate it. It interrupts my life and living and becoming a better person. I’ve started to meditating and it definitely helps but I’m not all the way there yet but I’m working towards it. Going to the gym and meditating helps. It’s so hard to quit it’s so addicting but I know i need to stop it’s not good for m, I’m to old for this now 😢
Aww I hear you, E. Congrats on meditating and going to the gym!!! Those are two huge things that will benefit every area of your life when done consistently. Have you thought about how you might start incorporating some small wins toward your dreams? Defining what success and accomplishment looks like to you and incorporating small steps towards those things can likely help as well. Congrats again on some of your positive habit changes!
MD is a huge mental health problem that can have a crippling effect on people's lives. It has on mine. It's a pity that it's not included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, preventing the MH community from focusing on it to develop effective care, treatments and solutions.
This is a huge problem that can spiral into much deeper episodes of depression, anxiety and a multitude of other issues if there's no help. The MH community must consider this seriously as so many people may not even be able to understand why this happens or be willing to discuss it and further their self-isolation and suffering, instead of seeking the help they need. Thank you for making this video.
Thanks for adding to the conversation. It can definitely spiral-if unchecked, and I think a lot of people don't necessarily know how to bring it up to a healthcare provider because 1) most people have never heard of it 2) And it's not included in the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders as you mention. I think it's likely to show up eventually in there, and I'm curious what further relations there may be between OCD and maladaptive daydreaming since both enter obsessive thought spirals. Thanks so much for watching the video and leaving such a thoughtful comment. I'm so sorry for your experiences around MD. I know how derailing it can be, and I hope this video can offer some relief. I'll also be making a Part II for more tips, so subscribe and hit the notifications so you can stay in tune for that!
@@thehealthywriter totally. Thank you for focusing on this topic. WIll look forward to the next video :)
@@eurekajon6548 You're welcome! So happy to see the topic resonating with folks :)
It’s a form of dissociation, so while it is not a diagnosis in and of itself it is certainly a modifier that is tacked onto other disorders. For example, not otherwise specified or other/unspecified diagnoses are particularly helpful for this and your provider can then add more description to communicate this to other providers.
I suffered from maladaptive daydreaming ever since i was 8 , which has harmed me later very much mentally and caused me powerful and intense depressions through the years , thankfully i am now 17 and i managed to quit intense daydreaming , i started building good habits and disposing of bad ones , replaced meditation with praying , improved cold resistance, and now i am fine! , After all i managed to study very well after i got rid of this plague , i am grateful for you
Aww I’m happy for you! Good work making those positive changes ❤️
Me too am 17 and I want to stop but it's difficult
@@Hayautiiiiiii One day at a time
"Do you want to live in your head, or in the present?" Oh, in my head, definitely. Wait, was I supposed to want the other one?
I excessively daydream ALL THE TIME. Thank you for the hacks, I'll certainly be trying them out.
You're welcome! May they serve you well
Me too
I didn't know that this is a disorder because it's therapeutic for me. Thanks for this.
I think that's an important distinction to make! Daydreaming can be a wonderful source of therapy, so I would only say it's maladaptive if it's unwanted or uncontrollable. But if you're happy with the amount of time you daydream, you do you!
I've struggled with MD since I could talk. I believe my daydreams started by loneliness, and playing with dolls. I used to have a magical fantasy, but now my daydreams surround real life and people. My daydreams are usually about future conversations and events, and most of the time they're correct. Which can be helpful as I also have social anxiety; but I daydream for hours upon hours every day. I daydream while in school, while doing homework, even in the middle of conversations. Sometimes I leave people on read or don't text back so I can daydream. Its exhausting, and I feel guilty for it. It doesn't give me any relief or pleasure. I just feel as if I'm constantly in a daydream and I'm so out of tune with real life. Thank you for this video, I felt very seen and I learned a lot about MD that I didn't know before. P.S. Your voice is so calming, and your eyes are very pretty :) You look very similar to Natalia Dyer!
Aww Yoshi, I definitely for you and with you. And thanks for the compliments. Very sweet of you. Do you know much about dissociation? That’s essentially what’s happening with MD. Have you found any ways to ground yourself? I have a video on my channel about five ways of stopping a panic attack fast. Some of those techniques might help you ground yourself. A technique I find helpful when I have dissociated in the past is naming objects around me. Door, window, floor, feet, hands, bed, and so on. Basically, anything to ground yourself in the present. And definitely try the techniques in this video (I have a second video on this as well). There’s a LOT of things you can do to curb this habit. Treating the social anxiety with a professional therapist might be another method to try! Especially, if MD is a coping mechanism for that social anxiety. Wishing you the best
Finally more people who r talking bout maladaptive daydreaming
The pandemic has made it so much worse for me. Also finding out I'm autistic makes sense of my struggles to make and keep friends, and being lonely and isolated I use daydreaming to not get overwhelmed by the depressing reality of being alone.
The isolation of the pandemic has certainly led to many social and emotional consequences. Have you found that with vaccinations and the decrease of cases that you’ve been able to be around people more? Are there any tools you can use that may ease your social struggles with autism? I’m glad you found answers regarding the autism diagnosis. Context can definitely ease / erase self-blame, and it can give you new ways of discovering how to be from the place that you are and not where society expects you to be ❤️
@@thehealthywriter I'll be getting back into therapy which helps, besides that getting a customer facing job is good practice. Thanks for the kind words.
How do you deal with the silence/emptiness in your mind when you control or try to control the daydreaming? It's like going from a vivid world to an empty void. It's either the void, maladaptive daydreaming, or thinking about life matters repetitively.
There are a myriad of ways. I listen to podcasts or RUclipsrs in subjects I’m interested in. I don’t do that with all tasks, but it helps when I’m cleaning or doing other home things. You can also call friends and family, or see people. I think part of it is learning how to like the world and make it more vivid for you. Maybe that means changing your environment, getting more creative with your environment. I watched a video of a guy who made his house into a colorful museum, every area was painted and featured unique collectibles or things he had made. So maybe the first step is determining what kind of world you want to live in, and then figure out how to make that world possible for you.
@@thehealthywriter wow, what an amazing response :)
@kennah3140 Aww I have Dutch family members and lived in the Netherlands for a time as a child. Amsterdam holds a special place for me. Glad the country has touched you as well. Definitely a special place. ❤️
@@thehealthywriteryes but what if u have the urge to daydream 24/7. U cant keep doing a highly interesting activity especially when u r in school like me. So it's all the time either day dreaming or resisting that irresistible urge. I don't feel there is a void when I stop daydreaming coz I just feel the urge to do it from the sec I stop
I was dreaming while listening to it that itself explains its severity
That definitely does! I wonder if you doodle or take notes as you listen... that might help ground you in the present. It's something I used to do when I was a student, and it definitely helped me listen more and kept my mind in the present. I believe there have been studies that show doodling is in fact conducive to concentration.
I’ve been doing this for as long as I can remember… the pleasure is usually too much to intervene in my daydreams.
That is understandable, Dark Ghoul. If you do want to be more present in the world around you, you might want to think of ways to healthfully increase the pleasure of your real world.
@@thehealthywriter well, it’s kind of a loop that first makes your irl bad, then offers a escape that has pleasure… I’ll definitely try to implement some tips you suggested, thanks for the reply.
Thank you for this! I didn’t know this was a thing. I don’t feel so alone now.
I am 25 and I have created characters in my head… perfect partner, friends and life and I tend to get super triggered when life isn’t aligned with my fantasies. I’ve been trying to quit it for years now and I still struggle… maybe now with more information on this condition I’ll be able to fight it.
Hey Juliana! You're welcome, and thanks for sharing your experiences. Glad you can have some answers. I have a few other videos on MD and will have more in the future, so feel free to subscribe and hit the bell for notifications if you'd like to stay in tune for those future vids. I think it's important to remember that not every technique in this video might serve you, but I think by at least giving each one a fair shot, you'll figure out things that can help mitigate and hopefully eliminate the unwanted daydreaming.
You definitely aren't alone. You can fight this.
i started maladaptive daydreaming when i was in 7th grade and now im in 11th grade and i still constantly do it. i think it became my coping mechanism due to childhood trauma and feelings of anxiousness(not clinically diagnosed). i tried talking to my family about my struggles with mental health but they told me i'm still young to figure out and control my emotions. today is my day 1 of trying to stop md and i hope it gets better for me. thank you so much for your video, it made me feel less anxious knowing that i'm not alone :)
Hey Zim! Good for you for recognizing your need for support so young. I’m really sorry that when you reached out for that help, your feelings were dismissed, but I commend you so much for taking control of your own future and dedicating yourself to figuring out your own wellbeing (which is a lifelong action for all of us whether or not we do it). Check out the video on my page for EFT for MD if you haven’t. I also highly recommend using an emotion wheel and emotional freedom tapping for processing emotions which get stuck in the body with trauma. You can also look into trauma release exercises and trauma-based yoga. I believe you can work through this coping mechanism ❤️
@@thehealthywriter thank you so much for your response ❤️ anxiety(not clinically diagnosed) has always been a struggle for me to the point where it now affects my physical health (jaw clenching, lump in the throat, rapid heart rate, tmj, difficulty sleeping and hearing vivid voices when i'm highly anxious). i've tried numerous coping mechanisms but anxiety dominates my thoughts more and it always doesn't end well for me. thank you so much for your recommendation, i will try my very best and i hope it will help me. thank you so much, your response meant a lot to me ❤️
@@zimzalabim1859 how is it going now?
@@zimzalabim1859how is it going now? We share the exact same story!
Also wanted to say you seem very down to earth and relatable and very comforting. If you weren't writing, you seem like you'd make a good counselor.
Aww thank you!
I want to stop, but I will literally have nothing left.
PS; I listen to music, take my glasses off, and move around during my daydreams so they feel more real. I'm completely aware that I'm in an alternative reality that my mind is controlling. But it's where I escape to feel happy and safe. I (purposely) do it every day though
Covid made it worse, they use to last about 20-30 minutes. But during Covid I went up to 4-5 hours.
I'm genuinely scared to stop, I have an entire life there that I would have to let go of. I've been doing it since I was a kid, it's a part of me.
Hey Catherine, if I were you, I wouldn’t try to stop completely to begin with. Instead, I’d aim to introduce more joyful aspects of life. It sounds like you enjoy movement and music. What about taking a dance class? Or checking out some local live music? If you want to stop, I think one of your beat tactics might be branching out.
This described me.
@@thehealthywriter Thank you so much! I'm going to start a yoga class really soon that I'm excited about and I will make the greatest attempt to branch out more lol, again thank you!
@@catherine.rome. Yoga is a great idea! Yoga is one of the things that helped me concentrate the most in my early-mid twenties. I've never regretted any yoga class I've taken. The benefits are fast, especially if you do it regularly. And cheers to branching out more! You're welcome. Wishing you more joy in the external world
I've been wondering about this for a while. I daydream like all the time. I started in highschool up now, college. I create so many romantic/stories in my head along with others. They are such detailed stories. The only thing i do is feel the emotions as if the situation happened in real life and make facial expressions.(reacting outloud) People have caught me so many times smiling at myself or laughing for no reason. Other than that i've never talked or paced around a room. I listen to music all the time and listen to specific songs to put my mind in the mood to daydream a specific story or mood. I always tell people i was thinking of something or its nothing. When im stressed or anxious, i daydream to escape the world. Its hard to sleep at night too. Thanks for explaining it to me. Glad to know im not alone.
how is it going? im trying to quit
@@mypoliticsofshit2629 its actually been happening less and less lately. I think because i started school again, i have been provided sort of a distraction. It is still happening though. I still daydream from time to time. I still put on music to daydream and stuff. The most its cause is more procrastination lol. One thing i will say is try to do some fun activities or keep being productive so your brain can be distracted. Luckily i dont have it as nearly as bad as others do. I just experience minor things. I hope it gets easier for you!
@@TwistedBrains896 Thank you ! :)
i have been in the same thoughts for 3 years nnow i am getting tired of living being in college and not being able to do normal things in life today i am going to start to break the cycle ill be back after a month here
tank you for this fabulous video
It started when i was 10
Now iam 25 it ruined my life completey it costed me my reationship and my career
My mind got crippled bcz of these thoughts
That is a lot. I’m so sorry the effects have been so devastating. Have you begun to build your life back up? Have you begun to figure out your triggers and what helps?
Actually music is my trigger 😅.
LITERALLY SAME
"I hope you'll be kind too yourself"
Thank you i needed that❤
Thank you for this video ❤ I've been daydreaming since I was 11 and now I'm 21
It gets worse and worse as I grow up. I have complicated characters who live in a certain house and I imagine myself to be one of them. Once I created them they started to grow and become more complex at the pointof having a real history in my own head. Now I want to quit this and put my best in my real life but I find it very very hard to say no to these ideas and daydreams.
I think my problem was due to my personal life. I had a sick mom who died when I was at 13 and I had a violent father who used to stress me and degrade me now he is dead. I think that i've created that paracosm because I struggle with loneliness and I really want a partner who is impossible to have for me 😢
I hope All of you can get rid of this suff 😢
Aww Zee, I’m so sorry for your state of loneness so young. You can definitely quit and make your life how you want it. It’s going to be a process and take some time. One of the first things I would incorporate if I were you would be more supportive people. Do you have the ability to find a therapist where you are? Can you start joining communities where you share interests with others? The more people you meet, the more people you’ll have the chance to connect with. ❤️
I’m only ten, and I’ve been doing this my whole life its become an addiction. It was especially bad last year. I wasn’t happy with the boring reality so i created this imaginary world with everything that i wanted, and daydreaming was my favorite thing to do because I didn’t have to think of reality. I would daydream for hours and hours, to the point where i get too carried away and I’m not able to pay attention to what people are saying, and my grades were slowly dropping and getting worse and worse. The daydreaming is not as bad now, but i still daydream A LOT, and If i were to stop, I’d rather stop now while i can. Thanks for this video, it helped a lot!
Hi Tukata! As you’ve discovered, daydreaming can be a really beautiful activity! It’s good to recognize when an enjoyable activity takes up more time than you want it to, so I’m happy you found this video. Do you like to read fiction? That might be a nice way to step into imaginary worlds, improve your concentration, and help your studies!
@@thehealthywriter oh ok! I do like to read fiction! Thank you for the advice! I’ll try and read more often c:
I just wish that you are going to see that comment. Maybe you can't believe it, but you helped me a lot in just one video. I think I'm a maladaptive daydreamer, and things got worse when I started losing some of my memories because I was too stuck in my head. But you gave me a big hope that I could control it. Your energy, your voice, and the way you talk are just so great to be true. Please don't change it and continue doing this type of videos. Thank you so much. Take good care of yourself 🥰🤍.
Hi Herma! I see you, I hear you, and I’m so glad this video helped you. Thank you for the sweet words. There is a part II of this video that you can check out if you want more tips plus EFT for maladaptive daydreaming on my channel. I recommend being kind to yourself and taking it moment by moment. It takes time to develop unhealthy mechanisms, and it takes time to replace them. Appreciate the process along the way! Wishing you a journey full of discovery and growth ❤️
@The Healthy Writer I've watched the second part too, and it's awesome like this one ! Thank you for the advice !
I tried to stop maladaptive daydreaming once, but I had one bad day and decided that reality was too much to handle then went back to daydreaming. I think I'll be able to stop, though
You can always start slow with half a day or some hours. It may also be a good idea to make a list of things you can do besides MD for comfort when you’re having a bad day ❤️
00:28 - What Is Maladaptive Daydreaming?
01:35 - How To Know If You're A Maladaptive Daydreamer?
03:25 - How To Escape Maladaptive Dreaming When It Becomes Problematic?
1. Identify And Reduce Triggers 03:33
2. Treat The Trauma 04:49
3. Talk To Yourself 05:53
4. Switch To Analytic Action 07:27
5. Redirection 08:46
6. Self Narrate 09:53
7. Track Your Time 10:43
8. Talk To Your Doctor 12:32
Thank you for pulling out these time stamps! ❤️
@@thehealthywriter Thank you for making the video
The first time I remember my daydreaming getting out of control I was around 15-16. It was at it's worst when I was between 19-24, when i would literally walk for hours lost in my head, usually super late at night because I had severe social phobia and didn't want people to see me. What made me realize how bad it was was when I'd started walking around 2am and completely checked out until around 11am when someone who had passed me earlier stopped to make sure I was okay.
Im 30 now and It's naturally decreased as my mental health health has improved, but i still struggle with it pretty badly. I cant walk or listen to music without my mind drifting. The problem is I don't want to live in the present, the fact that I have to live at all physically hurts sometimes, and I honestly think I genuinely greive when I have to pull myself out of my head. I've tried to bring it up to a couple of different therapists, but they always mark it off as "Oh walking and music! Healthy coping mechanisms!" no matter how much i try to explain.
I need to do something but for medication, SSRIs affect me very negatively. I feel completely insane. Especially because my daydreams arent even always positive. A lot of the time theyre genuinely distressing and have caused me to have panic attacks. Which I've never seen anyone else talk about.
I'm sorry for getting depressing, I honestly just needed to vent 😅
Hey Amber! First off, congrats on learning how to decrease the maladaptive daydreaming. That sounds very tough not being able to be adequately heard by those therapists. Are you still seeing a therapist? Maybe you could try again by sending them an article about maladaptive daydreaming or even this video to provide more insight into what you go through when you get caught in a daydreaming cycle. Have you been able to find things that provide more meaning in your life and make you want to live more in the present?
I am commenting on this after seeing your past replies. I have been maladaptive daydreaming for almost forever now. Initially it just helped me get my mind off things but its been consuming me lately. I can't live in reality anymore. I have inexistent and my self inflicted version of people in my head. I am very aggressive and have developed sort of hatred for myself and all around me. I simply can't function to the point that living in reality is suffocating.
Hi Sadieee, that sounds really rough and painful. I’m sorry to hear of your struggles. What can you do to bring more community and support into your life? Can you get a therapist? What activities do you enjoy where you can meet and be around other humans?
I’m in my 40s and I’ve struggled with it my entire life. I was able to quit for 7yrs, but life events and stress triggered it again.
Hey Ada! I feel you. First off, congratulations on seven years! That's amazing. And I hope you can recognize that without feeling too bad about the resurgence. Life is cyclical with ups and downs, and some of those downs are really intense, so try to give yourself some leeway and extra love and know that an up is right around the corner. Just gotta get through this trough. You can do it!
Sorry to hear you've been under stress & the MD returned...
Omg im already halfway done seeing video and fell in love with your voice and way to explain more elaborate
It's really taking huge chunks out of my life. my career is slipping through my fingers as we speak. It's been a coping mechanism for me since 2016, which I just realized a few months ago cause I didn't even know this was a thing and thought everyone else has this. I'm 18 and I don't want this to be my life. It has hindered my language development skills too. I've been meditating for months and it has helped me pull out on time. But what do I do when I don't wanna pull out of those dreams? Cause those dreams are always my ideal self and it feels really damn good
Hey Vander! I'd like to point out some really good parts of your comment: 1) You're eighteen. You're very young still. I don't know about your career, but as someone who struggled with career as well at different points in my life, I will say that it does get better if you can figure out what works for you and what doesn't. 2) You recognize a desire to change 3) It's awesome you know this. And it's awesome that you understand the benefits of an unwanted habit. What are ways that you can bring your ideal self to your life instead of daydreaming? What does your ideal self do that you can do? If they are at a certain career point or in a certain relationship, what steps can you take in real life to bring yourself closer to those things? (As a PS: Congrats on meditating for months. You are already seeing improvements by taking action, and that's really heartening)!
@@thehealthywriter thanks, can say april has been really good for me, Ive been working on my self esteem and confidence which has reduced my MD by a lot. I feel a lot more safe in reality than I used to. And yea I aligned my ideal self to a greek philosopher called Cato which keeps me in check of the activities I pursue, whether they help me achieve or at least get one step closer to being my ideal self.
@@vandermonke4178 those are amazing strides to make. Congratulations! That’s such a cool idea, focusing ob a philosopher you admire to keep your values aligned with your reality. Sounds like you’re making beautiful use of your imaginative gifts. Thank you for this update. Nice to see what changes can be made in only two months!
I don’t think MD can always be life threatening. For me, it has always been a good coping mechanism when i’m dealing with specific issues such as extreme depression but i can manage it and it never stops me from doing my daily tasks. I can be very productive and Im always aware of my surroundings.
Hey Kristiana! Thanks for the comment. Your perspective is a perfect example of when daydreaming isn't maladaptive. If you daydream in a way that's balanced, not compulsive/addictive, not intruding upon your daily/life/tasks, or otherwise negatively impacting your life, I would say you don't daydream in a maladaptive way. Daydreaming is a part of being human, and there's nothing wrong with it in and of itself. It's rather about balance.
I got out of the loop for years. Lost my dad a year ago and fell back to the bottom of it again. One step out at a time. RUclips has made it easier to stay self aware. TY for making this.
I’m so sorry for your loss. The trauma of losing a loved one is so much. I want to get into it more on my channel-you might look into the vagus nerve. Try “vagus nerve reset” or “stimulating the vagus nerve.” This can help calm inflammation in the body and the body as a whole, basically it helps stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest). It offers many benefits for those who are suffering with trauma and just for people who are overwired in general in one way or another. Sending you a lot of love, Day By Day. So sorry again for your loss.
@@thehealthywriter Thank you! I will look into this.
I had no idea there was an actual name for this and that there were others.... WOW, thanks! Im glad i found this and i have a name that i can look into to learn more
You’re welcome, Thomas! I have a part II on my channel as well as a meditation and EFT video as well you may benefit from for MD.
@@thehealthywriter I'll have to check those out!
when i start to daydream things i automatically switched to an imaginary world like as if iam there in real and iam also starting to talk to myself and making facial expressions, sometimes people suddenly notice me that iam acting in a weird manner, and once i realised that people noticed me acting and talking to myself i feel embarrassed . is this condition called maladaptive daydreaming? i recently noticed this from me
It sounds like maladaptive daydreaming to me. It can involve movement and acting out. It's that getting so caught up in the daydreaming that it's becoming half-real through your motions.
@@thehealthywriter ok thanks for the reply
Today i woke up at 10 am and got out of bed at 4:50pm, and i only got up because ive got a tution at 5 and an alarm went off.
Before the holidays i was able to sleep and wake up at right times because i knew i had to, its now taking me hours to sleep and hours to wake up. This is crazy.
Sometimes when you go through a busy or stressful period, your body needs more rest after! It might be your body trying to offer you some extra restoration. If it is ongoing and beginning to interrupt your daily life, can be worth going to the doctor to make sure you’re not deficient in some nutrients and/or that you’re properly breathing at night ❤️
You're such a sweet soul putting this out here! It's such a nice and helpful and genuine thing to do and you handled it all so well. Thank you!
Aww thank you for this comment! It’s heartening to receive comments like this. You’re very welcome!
When i realized i had mdd 5 years ago there was very little content about the condition. Glad you made a series of videos on this 💗
Aww you're welcome! :)
I never comment on videos but this was truly helpful. Ive been doing this since I was a child, I found myself daydreaming in the shower this morning when I was limited on time and I cut my dream off before I could even really form the characters. So I guess that’s progress. Thank you for the tips. New subscriber!
Hope you continue making videos🤎
Hey Mang0! Appreciate your comment. I'm so glad this video was helpful. That definitely sounds like progress! With any habit you want to change, take it one day at a time. It sounds like you're already off to a great start! There's a part II of this vid if you want more ideas. Thanks for subscribing
Yes, definitely progress. ☺
This video is bring back memories as a young child when I would be in my room, expected to be napping, but instead I would sit in my bed, face the headboard and talk to nobody...I would pretend I was giving some sort of presentation about things in my room. It's normal for kids to have imaginations and play with imaginary friends...but this was very different. A big thing is the fact that I did this privately, whereas imaginative play was very out in the open. I'm realizing now that I dont remember a time where I didn't do maladaptive daydreaming. I'm a big pacer and whisperer which my husband has caught me doing and was super embarrassing 😅🤦♀️ and I often gesture as well. It can be both therapeutic and disruptive, depending on what is going on in my life and my emotional response to the stressor. When I have more anxiety it's worse. When I have plain, simple anger it's therapeutic. I also just love doing it as I'm laying in bed waiting to fall asleep.
Yes! It is definitely normal for kids to do this. I think the level of envelopment matters, and also whether or not it becomes a problematic behavior. As a child, it might not have been maladaptive at that point because presumably you had more time to play pretend presentations, but as an adult, it might be more intrusive. Thank you for sharing your experience! Hope this video may be able to offer you some relief. If it’s coming up more for you in times of stress, I wonder at what other stress management or self-soothing techniques you might be able to introduce into your life to help ❤️
thank you so much for this, originally it was a safe space i could get to wherever i was and whatever im doing but now it’s getting in the way of me doing more in life
Yes, sometimes we outgrow what helps us. It sounds like it’s time to turn a new leaf. Be kind to yourself as you make adjustments ❤️
Just found about Maladaptive daydreaming, and I feel ashamed of myself. I started noticing how extreme the scenarios in my head are so I've been searching for something to help me quit and I think that's the thing I've been searching for. I pace around my house, laugh, cry, make facial expressions without noticing while daydreaming and it goes on for HOURS. Hell, I think I've wasted my life daydreaming about things that I know aren't real. It's probaby because of my constant feeling of guilt and lonliness ;I need to stop this daydreaming before it destroys me lol.
Hi! Glad you found this video. I think shame is a thing that comes up for people with most addictive habits. We want to have self-efficacy and feel in control of ourselves, and when we struggle with that, it's natural to feel "bad" about it, but I hope as you work through this maladaptive habit that you can be kind to yourself. It's really okay!!! The important thing is that you're here, you have information about how to proceed to mitigate the habit, anddddd it sounds like you know exactly which emotions are leading to an increase in the habit. Have you considered therapy/do you have access to a therapist? Can you spend more time with others and push yourself to meet new people to decrease the loneliness? Can you get out of the house more, so you don't have an "easy" environment to give into the habit? By committing to actions that will naturally decrease the habit, you'll start reclaiming your life again!
I wish i can stop i wanna quit music and daydreaming it never ends it doesn't even feel fun anymore i always do it whenever i try to stop i return back again i feel like a failure at this point
I so want to stop this cycle. It helps to know that it actually has a name. Thank you!
You’re welcome!
i was MD dur to traumatic circumstancrs
but your suggestions really helped me getting out of it THANK YOU SO MUCH. ❤LOVE from Pakistan
Aww I'm so glad! Love back to you
I am a maladaptive day dreamer. This stuff is hard to stop doing, but I am making progress. I loved the suggestions in this video.
Thank you for this! MD has caused me many issues throughout the past few years, and I am so happy to finally be able to understand what I'm dealing with and finding ways to tackle it and get it under control. Whenever I tend to get lost, I like to look around wherever I am and pick out objects or someone who is actually with me and tell myself: "This is real. I am here." I'll have to add time tracking to my methods! :]
Aww so you were already implementing grounding language! Good for you, Victoria! I'm glad you found this video. There is a part II you can check out as well that may prove helpful! + EFT for maladaptive daydreaming and a meditation on my channel. Congratulations on making strides to reducing this habit. May you continue to find success in doing so :)
After 5 years English lessons i can understand videos and speakers without subtitles!!In Russia problem of daydreaming important too, unfortunately we have little part of information about this in our language, and many people dont know English. I'm a daydreamer too,it began about two years ago,when a was 12.And this video really helps me, thanks!!Sorry for my grammatic mistakes,a hope my letter is not very bad :)
Hi youhoney! Congratulations on learning English so well. I’m so glad you were able to find this video, and I hope it helps you manage your daydreaming. You’re welcome! Be well ❤️
I have compulsions to get up and dance or pretend I'm singing on a stage when I listen to music since a very young age. I love music so it is quite hard to quit it. I have never told anybody before, for obvious reasons. I will apply what you said, whenever I get these compulsions I will try and do something like cleaning, reading or just going out in general. Interestingly enough I found your channel searching a band that I like called Daydreamers lol. Thanks again 🙏, will continue watching part 2.
Have you ever tried any forms of dance? That might be a great way to stay connected with your body and the present and healthfully answer the compulsion. It can also be a great way to meet new people!
@thehealthywriter I have not thought of it. Cause it does seem like sometimes I need to burn energy by actually dancing to maybe an specific genre. The only thing is that I love indie music which isn't really a genre that anyone would imagine you could dance in choreography or so. I might start doing exercising and also do a bit of meditation like we mentioned yesterday, that would help burning that energy that sometimes my body seems to ask for. You are great help, please keep it up ✨🙏🏻
I lost in my fantasy world most of the time and this is affecting my daily life like my behaviour, how i respond , lack of comprehension, slow react and response.. It's now getting worse because people think im ignorant, rude and some people think im mentally unstable 😢😢
Aww don't worry about what other people think. You can't know for sure what they think (unless they're telling you this), and even if they are telling you this, you just have to focus on doing your best and taking it one day, one moment at a time
I learned that I am going through this a year ago I didn't think much about it until later when I relalised it has severely affected my productivity. I need get it in check It's very severe I am starting from this video and try to use the techniques you mentioned in the video. My triggers is mostly music but once caught in such a loop I end up wasting valuable hours of my day and end getting non of the goals accomplished. I noted that the more I surround myself with people while working it helps get stuff done at first I thought I just function that way better now I realised that it just to avoid my maladaptive day dreaming. I should try a music detox for a month and see if it works but it's gonna be difficult for me. I'll try journaling my activies as well. If I get through with it I'll come back and give you my feedback.
Yes, please do come back and update! And remember to be kind to yourself on the journey. One day at a time. It takes time to change habits. The music detox sounds like a great idea considering that's a trigger for you. Also, yay on finding that working around others is a helpful technique!
i’ve been maladaptive daydreaming since 2019, i managed to stop doing it at the beginning of this year but after my mother went into hospital in february and then passed in april, it really came back to help me cope with the situation. i’m currently trying my best to stop doing it, thank you for the video!
Aww I’m so sorry about your mother. Returning to a coping mechanism in a time of grief makes sense. My good habits can become more compromised during times of stress as well. That’s normal. Hope you can find the space for a lot of compassion for yourself and room to grieve. Journaling and finding ways to still feel connected to your mum may help. Sending you a lot of love and a big virtual hug ❤️
well, it is not only you who is going throw this I am there too, will do it , might be it will be slow but definitely we can do it...well, THANK YOU for this video..I know if I will share about md with my family surely all will think I am crazy(In a way they are right, like it seems we are exaggrating, cause they aren't suffering from so..) The saddest thing is I started this by my own but its fine I wasn't aware of ..still people like us who can't share this need people like you.. thanks
You're welcome! You are not crazy, and you don't have to share what you're going through with anyone you don't think will be supportive. Just remember that it was a habit that once helped you, and since you began it, you can stop it. I hope you can find benefits from some of these methods. I also have a part II and a video for EFT for Maladaptive Daydreaming, so check out those for more ideas/ways to help you stop. Take care
That "Treat the trauma" techinique is not possible for me considering i'm still living the trauma but i really liked the others!I don't know if they're going to work but i'm gonna at least try because that's really messing with my studies and i need to pass an important test to get a good job and leave that house.
Thank you for the video!It was really helpful
Hi Ana! I hear you. There are ways of maintaining yourself through storms, like yoga which is a modality that many trauma treatment books reference because it is so beneficial for healing. Best of luck with your studies and finding your way to a happier, healthier life
ok i agree about maladaptive dreaming of my self but after seeing your eyes i don't know why i am dreaming about you. Your eyes tooo beautifull.
here’s the thing i wanna quit but at the same time i really don’t i can’t :(((
Aww Mariam, I know it's tough. I think the first step is to believe in yourself, then take baby steps. Measure how much time you spend on MDD from day to day, and see if you can cut down on that time. It's not about perfection. It's just about taking back the power to manage your life the way you want to. Small steps can make a big difference. I think one of the best methods is to constantly ground yourself in the present. You can find some grounding exercises in my video "Five Ways to Stop a Panic Attack Fast." These are great ways to bring yourself back to the present. In both a panic attack and MDD, there's dissociation, so it makes sense that techniques for one can be beneficial for the other. I believe in you! Baby steps!
thank you so much for making this. i have been struggling with md ever since i can remember and its definitely becoming a problem. i am actively fighting the urge to md as i am typing this. i know most of my dreams are related to me getting recognition or me just hanging out with friends i have made up in my head. like me randomly having a normal conversation with kurt cobain or someone (fully aware of how weird that is 😭) i also have anxiety so to escape from anxiety inducing tasks i end up maladaptive daydreaming. i am going to implement your advice from now on. once again thank you.
Good job getting through the comment! It's tough to change a habit you've had so long, so be kind and gentle on yourself as you reclaim your time. And since you know it's a method of self-soothing when you're anxious, some of the first steps you can take are finding other self-soothing tricks for anxiety. I have a few on my channel. I'll try to drop some links below
Here are some tricks for anxiety:
ruclips.net/video/Tt9Eqolyncc/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/3tjDqzTV0N4/видео.html
ruclips.net/user/shortslz5s6qRueV8?feature=share
EFT for MD:
ruclips.net/video/bX6Uj0ILq3g/видео.html
Meditation for MD:
ruclips.net/video/8pwcCwAyPpk/видео.html
Part II for Quitting MD:
ruclips.net/video/mhN20hyJT_A/видео.html
It may be helpful to make a private playlist on RUclips of these videos and/or any others that help you, and any time you're struggling with MD or anxiety, you can just refer to the playlist. I do that with different issues I have, and it works really well. Hope this helps, and congratulations on starting to curb this habit! Remember to be kind and patient to yourself as you make these new life readjustments
thank you for sharing. MD is like the weed to me... any time I feel depressed my mind would automatically start to weave those happy plot fantasy life and I would immerse myself in them. always feel relieved when it happens, but after that the worse feeling often occurs cuz I know im just using fantasy to escape reality.The worst part is that while many people daydream about themselves playing different roles, I am constantly imagining other people's lives. ridiculously I don't have myself in my md, totally suffering or happy for other people. tried to quit it but it's too addictive, currently Im using a method to record my daydreams on phone/notebook as soon as it appears and then read out loud when I m alone, somehow it helps a bit
Hi Yuchan! Thanks for the comment. It sounds like you've identified MD as a self-soothing behavior. It's so normal as humans to strive to self-soothe. It's very interesting that you've noticed you replace yourself within your daydreams. I am not a psychologist, so take this as you wish, but it does make me wonder if there are parts of yourself that you're rejecting by separating from yourself within your daydreams. I think it's more normal than it's talked about to reject aspects of ourselves. I hope you know that you are entirely lovable and wonderful as you are and still see that within that love and wonder, there's room for growth. I think it can be helpful to practice radical self-love and acceptance when you recognize that you're producing habits that are in contrast to that. Have you tried EFT for Maladaptive daydreaming? (I do have a video for it). Or even EFT for recurring emotions. Brad Yates who is also on RUclips has just about every emotion you can think of, and when I feel overwhelmed by a particular emotion, I like to visit his channel as a way to process that emotion as opposed to revisiting my own self-soothing but less wanted behaviors. That's very cool about recording your daydreams as they happen. I might try that! It sounds like a very creative and engaging exercise. Thank you so much for sharing
@@thehealthywriter Ohhhh this is a very heart warming reply from you and very thoughtful, too. thank you for being so kind and sharing the knowledge🥰. since you ve pointed out, yes I definitely agree on there’s something about self love &acceptance I can put effort into and work on. I'll check out the channel you recommend and the eft techniques(or its a treatment? Anyway I ll figure out) wish we can all become better ❤️Thank you again for taking the time and energy to make such helpful videos on MD and sharing thoughts with everyone
@@surenaricha More techniques than treatment. It stands for Emotional Freedom Tapping! Yes, it's all about growth and trying our best. Glad you found this video helpful. I will likely be making more MD vids in the future, so stay tuned
just subscribed, the best way to thank a RUclipsr. I"ve quit Cigarettes and Benzo, high time to take this hill !
1:37 all the things listed I can relate to. i am fairly new to maladaptive daydreaming only really started researching it last year. i have been doing maladaptive daydreaming since i can remember (around 6 or 7) i am 18 now and I've been doing Mdaydreaming for a long time.
usually, i pace around the kitchen or a hallway or in my room. often with music but not always. i rarely can daydream sitting down unless there is music. things that have helped me break the cycle is counting in Japanese in my head, i do this when walking or crossing the road. also writing down my daydreams. i can't really dream a daydream once i write it down. however, i usually end up changing the details of the dream which lets me continue the daydream. so just a quick fix. also narrating my actions is also really great to shut down the Daydreaming but i get a bit self-conscious doing it around others.
really great video
The counting is a good one! I've done that in French or Dutch, and it helped in the past, or focusing on any kind of language studying (probably 'cause it's getting into those other parts of the brain). Nice on the writing them down. Thanks! There's a part two that you can check out if it's helpful, and I also have an EFT and meditation for maladaptive daydreaming on this channel
Very helpful video. I subscribed 👍
This video is extremly interesting. I personally truly think "exessively" daydreamins can be a strengh (if it does not stop you from doing essential things). I remeber once I had a 6 hours bus ride and I daydreamed for the whole of it. The time passed really quickly and I could smile, even laugh on my own. It was like watching a tv show in my head. In that case, I don't think we can call it maladaptive, because I didn't really have anything else to do.There even was a situation where I was daydreaming while running, and because I was not focused, I did more than usual. However, I agree I can sometimes start daydreaming in situations I really whsh I was more present, or use it to escape from unpleasant situations. I also have insomnia and I procrastinate sleeping telling myself "I'll daydream a bit more". Thank you for giving some solutions. I will do my best to find a balance between my imagination and reality.
Wish I could be like you and use this to my advantage 🥲
I'm almost 22 and i still do this, i have a bad life and kind of stressful, my girlfriend also left me. I do daydreaming to escape all of these, it makes me happy when i visualized things inside my head but then it makes me sad realizing I'm not going anywhere. I can't live like this i achieve nothing, my younger self is not proud of me now. I should've get rid of it and focus on myself.
BTW how old are everyone here?
Hey NYC, I’m sorry to hear that life isn’t going the way you’d like. You’re still very young though. You have a lot of life left in you! Instead of focusing on what you didn’t do before, try to be kind with yourself. We all have moments where we wish we had made a different decision, but we can only start where we are in this moment. The important thing: you know what you want to do. And right now is the moment to do it. You found my video, and now you have different ways of activating positive change. You can do this!
You come across as a genuinely lovely caring person, thank you for the video ❤
You’re welcome! Thanks for the sweet comment ❤️
I daydream everytime I feel hyper or when am I listening to music and always feels so God damn good lol
Hmm...I have severe maladaptive daydreaming, but I am thankful to have never experienced childhood trauma
I didn't realize I needed this video!
Aww so glad it helped! There will be a part II for maladaptive daydreaming tips in the future
@@thehealthywriter Please do make it.
Thank you so much for this. I did not even know that this is an actual disorder.
You're welcome! I didn't know about it either until a year ago, so I'm happy to help more people become aware of it and what they can do about it
i’ve been maladaptive daydreaming for as long as i can remember. i just recently became concerned about it bc i noticed that i haven’t met anyone else who does it. i realize how lost in fantasy i get. a lot of the time, i’m just fantasizing about a fresh start or even just talking to a therapist (which i cannot afford right now) so it’s not that it’s harmful or anything but i know it’s an obsessive habit and for the first time ever i feel so seen!
Hi Lili! So glad you can feel seen! Just know that a lot of people do this habit (and people don’t often announce it because they don’t know a name for it or they feel embarrassed). You’re not alone, and you can curb the daydreaming if you would like! From what you shared, you could find someone who you just enjoy talking to on a person-to-person level like a friend you feel comfortable with who’s a good listener. As for a fresh start, you could journal about what that would look like and what smell steps you can make today or tomorrow toward that fresh start. ❤️
I struggled w maladaptive daydreaming when I was younger, but managed to stop. When covid hit it started again because I was isolated from friends. & now I can’t stop I spend many hours daydreaming then regret it later. I can’t focus anymore & paying attention turned into a hard task. It didn’t have much impact on my grade bc when I want to be a doctor when I grow up, so I ask myself which MD I want when I’m older lmao. I found this video helpful ❤️
Hi Zi! Aww yeah, I think covid dredged up a lot of challenges. I’m so glad this video has proven helpful for you, and I hope you can continue to get back to a healthy place. The good reminder is that since you stopped before, you know you can again. It’s like getting back into a healthy exercise routine! ❤️
Thank you so much. I've made a note and I'm going to try these techniques. ❤
❤️❤️❤️
You’re an angel, thank you 🥲
Aww that's sweet of you to say. There's a part II here for more suggestions. Hope it helps!
i don't want to quit though, i like it. i even look forward to it.
Me too I feel like my characters are my friends
@abby8273 yo honestly same here. is that weird? should i be concerned?
@@qoxx same but the thing is ,I HAVE to focus on my real life..listen if it’s not taking ur real life time and taking over u every time u try to do a task,ig it’s totally fine
thank you so much. this was really helpful even though I just have started to observe patterns being formed , mainly because of the way I'm left alone most of the time but this video comforted me a lot especially when you laughed it out like u were a friend of mine who totally understands me, I absolutely loved the way u put it forward and it just made it much easier for me to accept how I can actually get through this.
Aww I’m so glad! You are definitely not alone in this, and there are many ways to mitigate this habit (there’s also a Part II to this on my channel). It’s been such an isolating time worldwide, so I definitely know how you feel. If you can start to find healthy communities around you, that can definitely help
*virtual hug *
Thank you for talking about this. I´d like to recommend the short film "Opal" to understand , trigger warning though
I'm 26 and I've been lost in my head for over a decade to cope with loneliness. I know I've repressed my trauma.
Trying to escape these so I can focus on life.
Hi Yuki! I hear you. Do you have a therapist or an ability to get one who may be able to help heal your trauma? Do you have any good friends you can spend time with to ease your loneliness?
I think the only reason my brain let me to see this video till the end without dropping me out in dreaming is the fact that you are extremely pretty! 😇
Im 15 turning 16 I also get a thought of wanting ti be reborn with my current mindset and start working on making my daydreams become a reality as much as I can
It’s never too late or early to make your dreams a reality ❤️ I am going to make a video in the next few months on dreamlining (turning your dreams into reality). Make sure to subscribe and click the bell for notifications if that would interest you ❤️
I think talking aloud saying “you’re imagining talking to someone you only spoke to a handful of times 6 years ago and imagining an entire discourse, this isn’t fair to you or the person and not a reflection of reality”. The turning off the empathy is an interesting idea. I’m an artist and I think my daydreams get worse when I’m “in my feelings”. I need to find that analytical switch.
The analytical switch can definitely help. I was feeling very distracted and a little dysregulated a couple weeks ago, and I started practicing some basic French with a couple RUclips videos, and in no time I was more grounded and present. Brains are wild.
Amazing stuff. Thank you for the video. Maladaptive daydreaming is so overlooked. It's good to see some content on it.
Thank you so much for your wonderful and helpful video! 🧡
Your suggestion about narrating one's actions is super helpful.
I'll have to try writing the times down of things - this seems like a great way to identify triggers. Thanks again😊
You're welcome! I'm glad you could find the tips beneficial. The time tracking is super helpful to counter procrastination as well haha You're welcome again!
I daydream about my future goals.how will I love when I will achieve them.
thank you so much, i can't describe how helpful this is to me
I'm so glad! There's a part II on my channel as well if you haven't seen it! And I'm planning on posting more maladaptive daydreaming videos in the future, so definitely subscribe and hit the bell for notifications if you'd like to stay in tune for those MD vids
I started excessively daydreaming when i was about 11 or 12 and as time went on it just got worse and worse. I'm 23 now and i've been able to ease up on it a bit, but it's still at a point where it gets in the way of me working or socializing. I noticed it starting to be a real problem when i would get angry/irritated after not being able to do it for a long time, and only when i could fully immerse myself back into the daydream, would I calm down. I really don't know if i could ever be capable of stopping it completely because it does bring me some joy in my life. I know daydreaming is a pretty common thing and it definitely helps me create stories and characters for my projects, but I don't know how to keep myself from falling off the edge when I do it.
Hi McKayla! It sounds like the daydreaming has been a main source of self-soothing for you? Do you have other means of doing that especially when you get angry or irritated? Specific types of exercise like running or kickboxing where you can exert bursts of energy could probably be helpful. Meditation and breathwork also come to mind. I think it’s great that you recognize the benefits of the daydreaming and can also recognize a desire to have a bit more balance when it comes to it.
@@thehealthywriter For sure it has, it's always been something that's made me happy and as i've gotten older i've started recognizing the harm it can do. Thankfully a few years ago I was able to let go of some of it, so the irritation doesn't come on as easily anymore. Finding a good replacement for it is a real good idea, i'll have to try out a few things and see what sticks! At least blocking out some of my day focusing on other things could help a lot.
@@mckaylakrygier6956 Good for you! Brad Yates has a great RUclips channel that has all Emotional Freedom Tapping videos. I have some on my channel, but his is extensive, and he has every emotion you can think of. I find it a really beneficial tool to process emotions. Thanks for sharing your experience with MD!
@@thehealthywriter Thank you so much for listening and the recommendations! I'll be sure to check out more of yours and Brad's videos.
Ma'am
Due to daydreaming i ruined
My study plans
🥺 Please help me out of this
This was really helpful thanks! The tips I’m most excited about trying are narrating my actions and logging how often I get distracted by daydreaming.
Glad to hear it! The log is really good to do for daydreamers and non-daydreamers. It’s valuable to know where your time goes.
I'm a heavy but happy day dreamer. Just so you know, i started a keto regime 2 weeks ago, and, unfortunately for me as i'm a happy daydreamer, it totally stopped my day dreamings, to the point I'm having difficulty to fall in sleep as daydreaming was always part of my routine. My spirit always stays in the present, no more mind wandering too. If you are an unhappy daydreamer, i suggest you to give it a try.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Diet can greatly improve focus and mental health aspects. I don’t know much about the keto diet, but there is a RUclips channel Living with Schizophrenia, and she’s been on a keto diet to see how that may benefit her. Sorry to hear your sleep has been impacted. Weighted blankets can help with sleep and relaxing breathwork (I like alternate nostril breathing and box breathing), and humming can be a calming trick as well before bed. Maybe something like journaling or reading a physical book before sleep could also help to re-engage in a different creative way. ❤️
But having a dialogue with myself is literally what I struggle with: talking out loud regarding md.
Gotchya. In that case, that technique will not work for you as you've identified that it's an aspect of the challenge. So, in that case, try the other techniques. All of us have individualized needs and what works for one person isn't necessarily going to work for another. Identify the systems that work for you and forget the rest if they're not helpful!