Wow, narcs are becoming more emboldened these days. It seems they are going rogue in trying to take out their target. This doesn't surprise me at all, considering how narcs are not reprimanded for their behavior towards others and get away with it. The problem is that narcs are skillful at convincing management and other employees that their target is the problem and the narc recruits flying monkeys to support them and turn against their target. It's strategic and works quite well in managing, controlling, and disarming their target. Narcs are ingenious when it comes to deception and manipulation.
Oh, I believe you and if narcs' behavior is extreme and not addressed and controlled, they are capable of doing the unthinkable. You never know what narcs are thinking and plotting to do, which is why it is best to remove yourself from their presence and be cautious at all times when around them. I put nothing past them. You must remember although adult narcs throw temper tantrums due to stunted childhood development, they are physically stronger than a toddler throwing a temper tantrum and can be extremely violent
Yes, this makes sense. I am a very sensitive person who picks up on things straight away. I have seen when these bullies try to bully someone who is thick skinned and does not pick up on their motives, they give up. I have often been told by others to try not to let the bullies see that they are getting to you. I was not able to put on this front, because the more one looks hurt, the more they do it. I have often been labelled as "too nice" by one of the bullies, as if it was a weakness. Everyday she bullied me, but one day I could take no more and turned on her very aggressively. After that, not only did she back off, but she behaved better to me. But by that, does it mean I have to be aggressive to those bullies all the time. It really is not usually in my nature. I was driven to it. I have also been labelled stupid and thick when I was most probably much more smarter than them. I have also been told to go to a therapist by those same toxic people who need it far more than me. I am finding your videos more helpful. Thank you.
I've been called "too nice," "too polite," etc., too. Like you said: as if that's a bad thing! Yes, often, bullies bully us because they know we won't fight back. Sometimes, when you clap back, they back off because they got what they wanted: they got you to stoop to their level. Responses to any form of bullying are really on a case-by-case basis. Some people are aggressive and antagonistic and engage with the bullies, so they need to learn the way of the peaceful warrior and to rise above the drama. Some of us, on the other hand, are too passive, and we need to learn to be more confrontational. It really depends on the situation. I do know, if there is a repeating pattern in your life, whatever you have been doing is clearly not working, and it's time to do something different.
@clairehuntonline There is definitely a repeating pattern in my life. I was the youngest child and only girl in a very toxic family. I was constantly bullied as the scapegoat. I was taught the scapegoat role. This carried over to school, where I was bullied relentlessly by teachers and pupils alike, then in several workplaces. Goodness knows, I spent a big part of my life trying to break out of this role. I went to therapists. One therapist ended up bullying me. Years ago, I went on assertiveness training courses. I remember I went on one just before Christmas because I was going to spend it with my toxic family. I listened to ways of dealing with their behaviour, like telling them directly how they are coming across and how it makes me feel. It was usually around the dinner table that my narcissistic brother would start on me. I can't remember what he said, but it sounded very patronising. I told him so. He insulted me further by saying I did not know the meaning of the word and that I should look it up in the dictionary. I was 30 at the time. He ranted all sorts of abuse and told me that I let mother treat me like a baby My mother just sat there and said nothing like the rest of the family sitting there. All my life there was this allowance to my brother in particular to say and do what he liked to me. They stood by as he or someone else called me abusive names beginning with B and C. He would beat me up in front of them, and they would do nothing, as if it was okay. So, I lost a lot of confidence around applying what I learned from assertiveness training. I cut off from all surviving members of my toxic family a couple of years ago and now regard my husband's family as my true family. I am still recovering from illness, too old to go back to work and try to avoid toxic people. If one is being bullied, I could aim to be more confrontational without being aggressive and stooping to their level. Unfortunately, this approach never worked on my toxic family, but may work elsewhere. It is finding the courage again.
When I'm someone's friend I'm so smart, but the moment I piss them off I'm crazy and stupid. Funny how that works. lol
What if it’s an environment where there is a history of death threats to employees? What are your suggestions? Thanks
Wow, narcs are becoming more emboldened these days. It seems they are going rogue in trying to take out their target. This doesn't surprise me at all, considering how narcs are not reprimanded for their behavior towards others and get away with it. The problem is that narcs are skillful at convincing management and other employees that their target is the problem and the narc recruits flying monkeys to support them and turn against their target. It's strategic and works quite well in managing, controlling, and disarming their target. Narcs are ingenious when it comes to deception and manipulation.
Oh, I believe you and if narcs' behavior is extreme and not addressed and controlled, they are capable of doing the unthinkable. You never know what narcs are thinking and plotting to do, which is why it is best to remove yourself from their presence and be cautious at all times when around them. I put nothing past them. You must remember although adult narcs throw temper tantrums due to stunted childhood development, they are physically stronger than a toddler throwing a temper tantrum and can be extremely violent
Yes, this makes sense. I am a very sensitive person who picks up on things straight away. I have seen when these bullies try to bully someone who is thick skinned and does not pick up on their motives, they give up. I have often been told by others to try not to let the bullies see that they are getting to you. I was not able to put on this front, because the more one looks hurt, the more they do it. I have often been labelled as "too nice" by one of the bullies, as if it was a weakness. Everyday she bullied me, but one day I could take no more and turned on her very aggressively. After that, not only did she back off, but she behaved better to me. But by that, does it mean I have to be aggressive to those bullies all the time. It really is not usually in my nature. I was driven to it. I have also been labelled stupid and thick when I was most probably much more smarter than them. I have also been told to go to a therapist by those same toxic people who need it far more than me. I am finding your videos more helpful. Thank you.
I've been called "too nice," "too polite," etc., too. Like you said: as if that's a bad thing! Yes, often, bullies bully us because they know we won't fight back. Sometimes, when you clap back, they back off because they got what they wanted: they got you to stoop to their level. Responses to any form of bullying are really on a case-by-case basis. Some people are aggressive and antagonistic and engage with the bullies, so they need to learn the way of the peaceful warrior and to rise above the drama. Some of us, on the other hand, are too passive, and we need to learn to be more confrontational. It really depends on the situation. I do know, if there is a repeating pattern in your life, whatever you have been doing is clearly not working, and it's time to do something different.
@clairehuntonline There is definitely a repeating pattern in my life. I was the youngest child and only girl in a very toxic family. I was constantly bullied as the scapegoat. I was taught the scapegoat role. This carried over to school, where I was bullied relentlessly by teachers and pupils alike, then in several workplaces. Goodness knows, I spent a big part of my life trying to break out of this role. I went to therapists. One therapist ended up bullying me. Years ago, I went on assertiveness training courses. I remember I went on one just before Christmas because I was going to spend it with my toxic family. I listened to ways of dealing with their behaviour, like telling them directly how they are coming across and how it makes me feel. It was usually around the dinner table that my narcissistic brother would start on me. I can't remember what he said, but it sounded very patronising. I told him so. He insulted me further by saying I did not know the meaning of the word and that I should look it up in the dictionary. I was 30 at the time. He ranted all sorts of abuse and told me that I let mother treat me like a baby
My mother just sat there and said nothing like the rest of the family sitting there. All my life there was this allowance to my brother in particular to say and do what he liked to me. They stood by as he or someone else called me abusive names beginning with B and C. He would beat me up in front of them, and they would do nothing, as if it was okay. So, I lost a lot of confidence around applying what I learned from assertiveness training. I cut off from all surviving members of my toxic family a couple of years ago and now regard my husband's family as my true family. I am still recovering from illness, too old to go back to work and try to avoid toxic people. If one is being bullied, I could aim to be more confrontational without being aggressive and stooping to their level. Unfortunately, this approach never worked on my toxic family, but may work elsewhere. It is finding the courage again.
Claire you would be loved on TikTok and making dollar. Love your videos so much. Thank you.
Claire Hunt, amazing video