I feel so similar to you. I am 15 years old right now and for the last 3 years I have had a eating disorder. It wasn't actually until last year when a doctor truly noticed how underweight I was. I have an appointment with that doctor tomorrow and I feel absolutely terrified because I didn't gain any weight. In fact, I lost some weight. I find it SO SO HARD to recover when you feel like everyone else around you is dieting. School especially, my friends never eat lunch so I always feel so bad eating my packed lunch in front of them. Once we were in a restaurant, and they mentioned about the calories and I felt so triggered. My friends never eat breakfast because they are like "I'm never hungry in the morning". I can't help but compare myself to others But now I regret comparing myself with others because I am terrified what the doctor will say to me tomorrow
I can totally understand the constant comparison you might have against others. I also have friends who have made comments about their body and the food they eat. Comparing myself to others was one of the hardest parts of my recovery. However, in those moments when I would begin comparing myself to others, I reminded myself about how ugly everything was when I was struggling. I also remember the fact that people usually weigh more and eat more than you might think because our eating disorders tend to feed us this idea that we are bigger than everyone and eat more than everyone. You don't know what someone eats when they go home! Lastly, we all have such different needs! I hope things are ok for you ❤
@marsforger Funnily enough, I just turned 15. I totally relate. My grandma, mom, aunt, so many people around me have dieted in my face, and talked about their weight loss on keto or intermittent fasting, so I have had to absorb that into my brain before I even realized you could choose to not eat to be “skinny”, or over exercise to “look good in summer”. However none of them ever stuck to anything, and they don’t have Ed’s, diagnosed anyway. My grandma used to make me weigh myself in 4th/5th grade, and when I moved out of her house every time I came to visit she asked me how much I weighed. I only knew at the time that weighing more was “bad”, so one time she asked me and my brother to get on the scale in front of her, my grandpa, and my dad. I refused and she kept trying to get me to, but I said no. When I was about to leave, I was giving her a hug and she asked again. I gave in and told her, “***, but only on holidays” it’s so sad I had to preface such a completely normal number for a growing girl by saying it was only because of the holidays. She definitely aided in my body dysmorphia and the start of ed now that I think about it. Thank you for your comment and it makes me hopeful that we don’t have to go through this alone :)
You are so inspiring. I am older than you, and I am struggling badly with this ed. I've been in a cycle since I was 13. I just wanted to let you know how proud of you I am. And you are so beautiful and strong! Though, you are younger than me, I look up to you. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Continue to inspire others. Sending much love.
It breaks my heart to hear that you have been struggling for so long. I truly hope that you will find the strength in you to recover ❤ Also, thank you so much for your amazing words. You seem like such a kind person. Sending you much love xx
i hope one day i find the courage to recover. im in a sport that relays heavily on weight (cheerleading, lifted in the air) so my ed started at 8 or 9. i eventually temporarily recovered but obviously the weight gain and just puberty in general got to me, now im 15 and struggling again. it really is hell, i want to recover so bad but the idea of weight gain scares the hell out of me. ive never been super underweight so my brain tells me that im not worthy of recovery or dont have it bad enough..watching videos like this brings me comfort though, that there is life after all of this. it gives me hope. thank you
How underweight are you? Because you could be in the healthy range not even knowing it. The range is wide. I’m 110 and 5’3 at 14 and am trying to lose weight because I have a chubby build. I’m trying to get to 95 which is in the healthy range.
I feel so similar to you. I am 15 years old right now and for the last 3 years I have had a eating disorder. It wasn't actually until last year when a doctor truly noticed how underweight I was. I have an appointment with that doctor tomorrow and I feel absolutely terrified because I didn't gain any weight. In fact, I lost some weight.
I find it SO SO HARD to recover when you feel like everyone else around you is dieting. School especially, my friends never eat lunch so I always feel so bad eating my packed lunch in front of them. Once we were in a restaurant, and they mentioned about the calories and I felt so triggered. My friends never eat breakfast because they are like "I'm never hungry in the morning". I can't help but compare myself to others
But now I regret comparing myself with others because I am terrified what the doctor will say to me tomorrow
I can totally understand the constant comparison you might have against others. I also have friends who have made comments about their body and the food they eat. Comparing myself to others was one of the hardest parts of my recovery. However, in those moments when I would begin comparing myself to others, I reminded myself about how ugly everything was when I was struggling. I also remember the fact that people usually weigh more and eat more than you might think because our eating disorders tend to feed us this idea that we are bigger than everyone and eat more than everyone. You don't know what someone eats when they go home! Lastly, we all have such different needs!
I hope things are ok for you ❤
@marsforger Funnily enough, I just turned 15. I totally relate. My grandma, mom, aunt, so many people around me have dieted in my face, and talked about their weight loss on keto or intermittent fasting, so I have had to absorb that into my brain before I even realized you could choose to not eat to be “skinny”, or over exercise to “look good in summer”. However none of them ever stuck to anything, and they don’t have Ed’s, diagnosed anyway. My grandma used to make me weigh myself in 4th/5th grade, and when I moved out of her house every time I came to visit she asked me how much I weighed. I only knew at the time that weighing more was “bad”, so one time she asked me and my brother to get on the scale in front of her, my grandpa, and my dad. I refused and she kept trying to get me to, but I said no. When I was about to leave, I was giving her a hug and she asked again. I gave in and told her, “***, but only on holidays” it’s so sad I had to preface such a completely normal number for a growing girl by saying it was only because of the holidays. She definitely aided in my body dysmorphia and the start of ed now that I think about it. Thank you for your comment and it makes me hopeful that we don’t have to go through this alone :)
You are so inspiring. I am older than you, and I am struggling badly with this ed. I've been in a cycle since I was 13. I just wanted to let you know how proud of you I am. And you are so beautiful and strong! Though, you are younger than me, I look up to you. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Continue to inspire others. Sending much love.
It breaks my heart to hear that you have been struggling for so long. I truly hope that you will find the strength in you to recover ❤
Also, thank you so much for your amazing words. You seem like such a kind person.
Sending you much love xx
i hope one day i find the courage to recover. im in a sport that relays heavily on weight (cheerleading, lifted in the air) so my ed started at 8 or 9. i eventually temporarily recovered but obviously the weight gain and just puberty in general got to me, now im 15 and struggling again. it really is hell, i want to recover so bad but the idea of weight gain scares the hell out of me. ive never been super underweight so my brain tells me that im not worthy of recovery or dont have it bad enough..watching videos like this brings me comfort though, that there is life after all of this. it gives me hope. thank you
How underweight are you? Because you could be in the healthy range not even knowing it. The range is wide. I’m 110 and 5’3 at 14 and am trying to lose weight because I have a chubby build. I’m trying to get to 95 which is in the healthy range.