Getting a Spiritual Director

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  • Опубликовано: 5 фев 2025
  • Have you ever thought you might like a spiritual director, but you don't actually know where to begin? As always, Fr. Mike comes through for you. He offers practical steps so you can find and connect with a spiritual director. You can, as Fr. Mike puts it, become "holified!”
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Комментарии • 138

  • @emilybaylor
    @emilybaylor 9 лет назад +146

    I feel like all of your videos are my "spiritual director" please don't ever stop!

    • @mauronicolascanseco1643
      @mauronicolascanseco1643 4 года назад

      This was great, thanks, I been tryin to find out about "calling your spiritual guides" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Ever heard of - Banulian Lonameron Breakthrough - (do a google search ) ? Ive heard some awesome things about it and my colleague got amazing results with it.

    • @keepLearningTillYouDie
      @keepLearningTillYouDie 4 года назад +1

      This is glorious, I've been looking for "spiritual guardian angels" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Ever heard of - Banulian Lonameron Breakthrough - (should be on google have a look ) ? Ive heard some great things about it and my friend got cool results with it.

    • @colour2690
      @colour2690 4 года назад

      Many thanks, I been tryin to find out about "spiritual guidance angels" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Banulian Lonameron Breakthrough - (should be on google have a look ) ? Ive heard some awesome things about it and my partner got great success with it.

    • @pinoyako4001
      @pinoyako4001 4 года назад

      This was great, thanks, been searching for "spiritual counselor nyc" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about - Banulian Lonameron Breakthrough - (just google it ) ? Ive heard some decent things about it and my partner got amazing success with it.

    • @emilymckellar7443
      @emilymckellar7443 2 года назад

      Saaaaaaaame

  • @CallMeSmash
    @CallMeSmash 9 лет назад +96

    Gosh I would love it if Fr. Mike Schmitz was my spiritual director!

  • @jayDB5
    @jayDB5 9 лет назад +72

    5:22 "Holiness consists in this: saying yes to the will of the Father" -- love this line!

  • @nonjabuloshezi2728
    @nonjabuloshezi2728 4 года назад +18

    This is beautiful. Last year I met a priest while visiting a Shrine of our Lady. During a question and answer session we had he was the only priest who understood the question I asked and he answered it and we related due to the love of reading. He could see and sense that I was troubled and when I went back to the Shrine he told me he had been worried about me and was praying for me a lot and he offered to be my spiritual director. He was absolutely amazing, we connected spiritually and he was a great listener and he would advise in such a way that I felt he knew me better that I knew myself. A year after we met he passed (February of this year) God rest his soul.And I was doing so well and my life is looking up but I have been praying that I may find another spiritual director.

  • @juliantisugiman3331
    @juliantisugiman3331 7 лет назад +31

    I have a spiritual mentor, a wonderful person. She has become my best friend. But she never consider me as her spiritual disciple, she considered me as her best friend too. She is not a sister, she's married. She prayed 1 hour or more every day, she goes to mass every day. She teaches evangelic school, she is also a counselor in Catholic Church. I love her so much, and very grateful for having her as my 'best friend' (spiritual mentor). She always reminds me to pray, to seek God's help in my weaknesses. The Holy spirit in her is so big. So, Holy Spirit, thank you for guiding me, also for teaching me through her. I am so blessed, so grateful. Love you Jesus

  • @maryfrances499
    @maryfrances499 6 лет назад +17

    Fr Mike you got some vocals!!

  • @DLeos04
    @DLeos04 6 лет назад +5

    I just recently started going to a spiritual director last month. He is a priest. The way I knew that he was the right spiritual director was when I went to confession. He was a visiting priest. That was one of the best confessions I have had. I then attended some of his masses at my parish. I felt the need to ask him if he did spiritual direction after mass one day and he said yes. He is a legionary priest and said he does spiritual direction 50% of the time. So far, I have met with him about 4 times and it is going well. I am thankful and blessed to have found a great spiritual director.

  • @jaqiabbo9596
    @jaqiabbo9596 6 лет назад +13

    Hahahahahahahahaha
    I am watching Fr. Mike for the first time.... I thought i had opened a comedy clip and almost passed it since I really wanted to learn something... But I also love comedies, so i thought 6 min of comedy before I go on Isnt bad.. And then there comes the exact message wanted to hear.
    Thank you Fr. Mike. The short video has spoken to me

  • @jeannine9066
    @jeannine9066 3 года назад +6

    Very well said, Fr Mike! For a long time I begged God to give me a Spiritual Director, and it happened just like you said. One didn't feel qualified & the other was too busy & far away. God finally told me that He wanted Mother Mary & the Holy Spirit to direct me through the desert. When I persevered, He sent me the incredible priests who were able to send me forward in the direction God was leading me to. God is good all the time!

  • @easterellen
    @easterellen Год назад +2

    I agree.. where we don't have a spiritual director, the Holy Spirit resides in our heart when we remain close to God through prayer, church and the Holy Eucharist

  • @bagobeans
    @bagobeans 8 лет назад +70

    Sister St. Faustina went through several spiritual directors before she found the right one.

  • @dl9891
    @dl9891 9 лет назад +26

    I just discovered these videos and this priest, and it's just fantastic, waw, God bless him (and you all)

  • @kellysoo
    @kellysoo 4 месяца назад

    This is awesome. Thank you so much. I was feeling desperate to find a spiritual director. I think I would rather wait in Him to show me the spiritual director for me. Being an ex-Protestant I get hung up on figuring it out with God alone as they always say “when two or three are gathered together we are the church God answered type thing. So there is no need of anyone who is perhaps more qualified than thou type of attitude. While this is true about the Holy Spirit the Protestantism usually take it so far that they don’t want any authority or a human guide. I hope that makes sense. But thanks Fr Mike. I am an Hallow app user and I pray for you everyday. Thank you for praying for me too. ❤❤❤

  • @lucystephanieproperties
    @lucystephanieproperties 5 месяцев назад

    Amen. Lord Your will be done! Help us to follow Your will all the time. 🙏

  • @trapperma
    @trapperma 2 года назад +1

    Wow! Great ending about following the sacraments of the church because the Holy Spirt is there. I sense I get spiritual direction through frequent confession. The priest uses the term becoming holy. It really is amazing way for spiritual direction, frequent confession, to help keep an even keel with the will of God as you journey to holiness.

  • @joseantoniomendez7302
    @joseantoniomendez7302 Год назад

    WoHoo!! I was just thinking about finding a spiritual director, to the point of "stressing out", until I found this video and WOWZERS! I can breath again.
    Pheew!!
    As long as I stay close to the Sacraments of the Catholic church, I will be fine! (Aka confession more often).
    God Bless you Fr. Mike!
    Gracias!!
    💪

  • @jillb7402
    @jillb7402 2 года назад +1

    Just what I needed to hear right now. Thank you Lord for using Fr. Mike.

  • @kathrinabalbuena4251
    @kathrinabalbuena4251 5 лет назад +1

    This is my seventh spiritual director in all of eleven years; I prayed to God for them, and the Holy Spirit directed us towards a fruitful productive faithful spiritual- director- directee relationship that God will to be perfect respectful and it was awesome! God be praised!

  • @ishadas1965
    @ishadas1965 6 лет назад +9

    0:25 "what happens to them when they're 71 ?" You nailed it Father😂😂😂😂

  • @rossanagraca3825
    @rossanagraca3825 Год назад

    I love how you talk about the Holy Spirit as a Spiritual director. That was illuminating. Why call them (priest, deacons, deacon’s wife, nuns…) to be a spiritual director’s when we could possibly call them close friends who can help us from time to time? But I love how you bring the Holy Spirit in this! Thank you very much Father Mike! God bless you!

  • @erickapadilla3638
    @erickapadilla3638 4 года назад +5

    Love this video.. I spent time looking for a spiritual director but seemed to get no where. All along I was being guided by the Holy Spirit!!💝

    • @trapperma
      @trapperma 2 года назад

      Yes! Also, Confession is a great way to have a visit with the Holy Spirit-Jesus-God The Father, all in one spiritual direction in the confessional. Works for me, that is.

  • @tkdstudent7578
    @tkdstudent7578 6 лет назад +4

    A few weeks ago I prayed for someone spiritual
    The a few days later I met someone spiritual
    And now I get a chance to know things about myself that I didn't even know 😇🐦

  • @aidaruilova140
    @aidaruilova140 7 лет назад +4

    I love your videos! Your sense of humor and knowledge are awesome! Thank you for helping me grow closer to God and smile too!

  • @TiffanyThrelkeld
    @TiffanyThrelkeld 8 лет назад +8

    You crack me up! Thank you for putting this stuff in a way that is both entertaining and easily understood.

  • @jelenaj.3770
    @jelenaj.3770 Год назад

    "You can be a crazy person, they could be a crazy people.😂"❤❤❤❤Great video Holy Spirit is a Spirirual Director.

  • @ruthnoelmarie...9061
    @ruthnoelmarie...9061 3 года назад

    You’re already my “Spiritual Director Father Mike.” I couldn’t be more grateful or thankful. God Bless you sweet soul of soul. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • @rolandprovence986
    @rolandprovence986 2 года назад

    Thank you for your clear presentation....your realistic approach as to the way forward is quote a relief.
    It is written that Jesus said whoever does the will of the Father is my brother....Thanks

  • @AWKN7777
    @AWKN7777 2 года назад

    Wow! Thank you Father for this video🙏🏻😇🥰😊

  • @airishsitdown
    @airishsitdown 5 лет назад

    I remember after confession a priest told me that I need to ask God the grace to find my spiritual director. Surely, I did not see it's effects of not having one till I read St. Faustinas book "Mercy in my soul". It's more of psychological, emotional therapy and counseling applying the teachings of the Catholic Church which is proven and tested by saints trully helpful in order for us to advance in virtue.
    I'm so moved when you say your holiness doesn't come from having spiritual director but saying Yes to God. Thanks Fr. Mike!

  • @shailadsilva258
    @shailadsilva258 3 года назад

    Thank you Fr Mike , I always wanted a spiritual director , but HS thru you told me that I don’t need one , He is goin to direct me Himself.

  • @joepugh678
    @joepugh678 9 месяцев назад

    Seventeen...you're a trip sometimes, thanks. Anyway, my son watches you a lot but I've only seen a few of your vids. When I saw this title I was anxious that you would toe the "orthodoxy " line, but your focus here is on the freedom and discernment of the individual and I think you are right on. I myself am not 100% orthodox but I believe that the Holy Spirit is not all or nothing. There is a lot of good wheat in my heart and maybe - probably there are a lot of tares we well. I don't think a S. D. who says "First, tear out all the tares and then we can move forward" is one who can truly help me find peace and move forward. Nor do I want someone who will only say what I want to hear. I think your mirror analogy is a very good one for confused catholics.

  • @MichaelBrooksmsb400
    @MichaelBrooksmsb400 2 года назад +1

    My Spiritual Director is a Discalced Carmelite Priest, thou I am now in Florida, and he's in Southern California. Oftentimes, I will ask him a question or update him on what's happening, and how I am dealing with things Spiritually, or I am in a Situation, and ask if I am dealing with it as I aught. Sometimes I sense the flow by how he answers or he answers not, then I discern possible reasons for not responding, and that usually is a positive. We communicate by Messanger.

  • @artorefalnera3055
    @artorefalnera3055 Год назад

    Fr. Thank you for the clarification 😇

  • @kimfleury
    @kimfleury 8 лет назад +15

    Alright, now I want to hear Fr. Mike pray the Mass and get his plainsong on.

  • @TrustInJesusThruMaryWithJoseph
    @TrustInJesusThruMaryWithJoseph 3 года назад

    Thank you dear Father Mike.
    🙏🏻🕊🔥❤️🔥🕊🙏🏻

  • @schweitzer1
    @schweitzer1 7 лет назад +1

    Thanks father. God bless.

  • @bruceljmartin
    @bruceljmartin 9 месяцев назад

    Thank you. God bless you.

  • @ruthnoelmarie...9061
    @ruthnoelmarie...9061 3 года назад

    All the best to all. God Bless.

  • @shannonabeywardena7323
    @shannonabeywardena7323 9 лет назад +1

    Thanks, Father Mike!!

  • @SevenDeMagnus
    @SevenDeMagnus 5 лет назад +1

    Thank you Fr.
    I wish it was easy to get a good spiritual director. I've been looking for years.
    The good ones, since they're good, understandably they are always in demand and are busy.

  • @aprilburoker8479
    @aprilburoker8479 6 лет назад +1

    Loved this video! It’s so timely that I came across this video as I’m currently looking for a spiritual director! Albeit, I didn’t know the term spiritual director. Thank you for the guidance Father Mike!

  • @DirectionalFaith
    @DirectionalFaith 5 лет назад

    Wonderful video. I love the honest chat about how finding the right fit is so important.

  • @craigallan8834
    @craigallan8834 4 года назад

    Thanks Father Mike. A good friend told me that if I pray on it I will find a good Spiritual Director. My friend said that when the Holy Spirit see's fit, He will send a Spiritual Director to me. I have so many questions and this whole living in the Divine Will thing has got me asking.....what next God!!! @fathermike

  • @ruthnoelmarie...9061
    @ruthnoelmarie...9061 3 года назад

    No fear here, and darling “I” ahhh “I’ll be loving you until we #70...
    Until we Meet again... “I’ll be praying for you.” 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • @ruthnoelmarie...9061
    @ruthnoelmarie...9061 3 года назад

    Holy Spirit, bring it on, I open my heart to you.

  • @iwonapietal1818
    @iwonapietal1818 9 лет назад +1

    Fantastic! Many thanks Father, it helps a lot to understand Spiritual direction :). so, he is to be a mirror to me, Peace

  • @beverlyhanlon8101
    @beverlyhanlon8101 3 года назад

    A good Spiritual Director should encourage you especially if trying to do Gods will in your life. Prayers!!!

  • @teletubqwerty2
    @teletubqwerty2 7 лет назад +2

    Love this man!!!

  • @carolinepatton132
    @carolinepatton132 3 года назад

    Ty Fr.🙏

  • @Artemis4stars
    @Artemis4stars 5 лет назад

    This was so helpful! I’ve always wondered if I needed one, and I’ve read a few books and of course LOVE to watch your guiding videos. The Holy Spirit is THE ultimate spiritual director- never really realized that. Maybe that’s why I picked up a book on the Holy Spirit at the church book fair! 😂💕

  • @ruthnoelmarie...9061
    @ruthnoelmarie...9061 3 года назад

    He’s been invaded my
    Space lately but hay hay hay, he is a welcome human... 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • @CallMeSmash
    @CallMeSmash 8 лет назад +21

    Along with going to that priest's Mass go to reconciliation with him.

    • @DLeos04
      @DLeos04 6 лет назад +2

      That is how I found my spiritual director. He was a visiting priest at my parish and it was one of the best confessions I have had. That’s how I knew I found the right spiritual director.

  • @tkdstudent7578
    @tkdstudent7578 6 лет назад +2

    Nice singing father Mike

  • @ruthnoelmarie...9061
    @ruthnoelmarie...9061 3 года назад

    I’m looking forward to this awesome relationship with. Priest that looks like my nephew Philly.

  • @criscavi19
    @criscavi19 8 лет назад +4

    The catechism of catholic church can also be used as spiritual guide!

  • @Andrew-dc7nl
    @Andrew-dc7nl 7 лет назад +2

    I'm totally diggin' these vids.

  • @kathygarvey8167
    @kathygarvey8167 Год назад

    That was awesome , I get it I had a spiritual director than he got a new assignment but I journaled on Gratitude he gave me a few books to follow and I journaled for 50 days at the end I went back to read my journal wow I didn’t even recognize my writing I thought I was reading someone else book journal . I texted my spiritual director about this also told him I finally connected to the Holy Spirit in meditation I got an was excited . He said we could zoom the meetings but my computer has satin in it haha only kidding it just doesn’t work the zoom with me I can zoom it just doesn’t let me zoom , like I said I think evil flicks a switch off somewhere and I can’t connect .

  • @robedinwhite
    @robedinwhite 6 лет назад +1

    I'd just like to find a priest interested in hearing a good confession! One who would be my Spiritual Director would be frosting on the cake! Thanks for the video ideas and all the comments of others

  • @orlandomateos5687
    @orlandomateos5687 2 года назад

    I think it's not that simple for everyone. God wanted it. Nice father

  • @therese_paula
    @therese_paula 2 года назад

    I honestly cringed at your singing, Fr. Mike! 😂 But i still love you and continue to pray for your fidelity to God til the end. 🙏 Thank you for this video, I have been wondering about how to find a spiritual director, how to approach a prospect and all that. God bless you, Father!

    • @kelkabot
      @kelkabot Год назад

      Remember the guidelines for what to say: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?

  • @fiachramacaonrae5449
    @fiachramacaonrae5449 2 года назад

    I've pressed the subscribe button!

  • @NicOle-hu2km
    @NicOle-hu2km 6 лет назад

    So good

  • @alexandraaichelburg9653
    @alexandraaichelburg9653 8 лет назад

    THANK YOU SOO MUCH AGAIN ! Alexandra

  • @generalyousif3640
    @generalyousif3640 Год назад

    I may get on post Easter

  • @jonathangoodwin646
    @jonathangoodwin646 2 года назад

    Who do I talk? If I have questions about the Church, I'm gonna be turning Catholic. Do all my confessions Is going to mass. Taking holy communion

  • @aaronfarris8100
    @aaronfarris8100 3 года назад

    I would love Fr. Mike Schmitz to my spiritual director as well.

  • @ruthnoelmarie...9061
    @ruthnoelmarie...9061 3 года назад +1

    Yep, God told me fo deal with @Pandora only for awhile.
    Yep, God is my “Spiritual Director.”
    Y’all take care. 🥰ya’ foreva’

  • @gabeparks9378
    @gabeparks9378 Год назад

    Fr. had some coffee today

  • @ruthnoelmarie...9061
    @ruthnoelmarie...9061 3 года назад

    Golden leaves looked brown to me
    The world had less color without you
    Shapes in the sky looked plain to my eyes
    The world had less color without you
    I know plenty of people with eyes closed
    They don't see you like I do
    Darling, I do
    Notes on the keys meant nothing to me
    The world didn't sing without you
    Birds in the trees fell silent for me
    The world didn't sing without you, without you
    I know plenty of people with eyes closed
    They don't see you like I do
    Darling, I do
    Darling, I do see you
    I know plenty of people with eyes closed
    They don't see you like
    I know plenty of people with eyes closed
    They don't see you like
    I know plenty of people with eyes closed
    They don't see you like I do
    Darling, I do
    Darling, I do
    Darling, I do, I do
    Darling, I do
    Darling, I do see you
    Source: Musixmatch
    Songwriters: Pigg Landon Christian Anderson / Schwartz Lucy
    Darling I Do lyrics © Songs Of Dwa, Dwa Songs...🤣🤣🤣

  • @JenniferLudwig156
    @JenniferLudwig156 10 месяцев назад

    What if i am I'm disabled and can't leave the house? I had one before i was disabled in another state. No clue what to do.

  • @SevenDeMagnus
    @SevenDeMagnus 6 лет назад

    Hi. I truly need a spiritual director. God bless, Proverbs 31

  • @MsKristi1234
    @MsKristi1234 7 лет назад

    AMEN!

  • @WPWolfe
    @WPWolfe 6 лет назад +1

    Fr. Mike, will u be my spiritual director pleazee

  • @silvermystic2001
    @silvermystic2001 8 лет назад +2

    How are you supposed to get the holy spirit? Like some people seem to feel it and hear it a lot and not sure I hear it?

  • @marioriospinot
    @marioriospinot 9 лет назад

    Nice.

  • @ruthnoelmarie...9061
    @ruthnoelmarie...9061 3 года назад

    Peace to all, “I’ll miss y’all.”

  • @ruthnoelmarie...9061
    @ruthnoelmarie...9061 3 года назад

    I couldn’t have you as a “Spiritual Fire 🔥 Director” for many reasons...”

  • @DoroteeaZorici
    @DoroteeaZorici 5 лет назад

    Pls fr sheran is good...anyway are catholic priests also sing on the holly mass, or only the choir? Bc in my church they also sing.
    Also, in the ortodox church, usually the priest Who you confess to becomes your spiritual advisor. I mean he is not only gives you the sacrament of forgivness but also gives you advices to overcome your sins and improve your life ( or, at least he should)

  • @ruthnoelmarie...9061
    @ruthnoelmarie...9061 3 года назад

    I’m just gonna be me’ own “spiritual Holy Director...” 🤣🤣🤣

  • @merlin846
    @merlin846 6 лет назад +2

    Jesus is my spiritual director.

    • @diegoruiz2186
      @diegoruiz2186 6 лет назад +6

      He's everyone's spiritual director, but sometimes we need help discerning His will in our lives and overcoming our sinfulness.

  • @ruthnoelmarie...9061
    @ruthnoelmarie...9061 3 года назад

    He’s not ready yet...cuz he knows me well.

  • @jonathangoodwin646
    @jonathangoodwin646 2 года назад

    I meeternal a priest Visiting The Philippines My wife Friend . The priest gave me a rosary. Now I came back to the Catholics church ⛪️. I did all my confessions. I go to mass, taking holy Communion . My wholesale family are Catholics, my wife, 3 kids.

    • @kelkabot
      @kelkabot Год назад

      That’s awesome. Did you formally join the Church? If not, please be sure to speak with a priest and arrange it before receiving the Eucharist. Blessings!

  • @Angel4Prayer
    @Angel4Prayer 5 лет назад

    Holy Spirit is the Spiritual Director of your life. Spiritual Director helps you discern how or what the Holy Spirit is guiding your life and growing your spiritually. Holiness is "saying "yes" to the will of God the Father". Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth and make you holy.

  • @jonathangoodwin646
    @jonathangoodwin646 2 года назад

    How do I get a sponsor Since I was going for so long.

  • @alicialey6066
    @alicialey6066 4 года назад +1

    I thought it was 17 too!!! lol

  • @marytataryn5144
    @marytataryn5144 9 лет назад +15

    How fast do you pray the rosary? 10 mins? lol

  • @KyzzKyss
    @KyzzKyss 4 года назад

    💗

  • @MG-zw9fw
    @MG-zw9fw 2 года назад

    Where do I find a Catholic Church with a Father Mike ?

    • @kelkabot
      @kelkabot Год назад

      Duluth, Minnesota is the only place with a priest like Father Mike.

  • @lisah6894
    @lisah6894 6 лет назад

    If I go to a spiritual director, is there a fee I need to pay? Does the priest charge a fee?

  • @OliviaSlusher
    @OliviaSlusher 9 лет назад +10

    hahaha 17, I thought that too

    • @jeankodin
      @jeankodin 9 лет назад +1

      +Olivia Rose I thought I was the only one!

    • @arianayouknownewcitycrew9070
      @arianayouknownewcitycrew9070 9 лет назад +1

      +Olivia Rose same... I thought the same thing until my older brother told me it was 70...

  • @eleanornajar3702
    @eleanornajar3702 5 лет назад

    👍 ---> ❤

  • @marystewart185
    @marystewart185 5 лет назад

    Can a husband and wife be each others spiritual director's ?

    • @grababundoberni
      @grababundoberni 2 года назад

      Yes as marriage is s teamwork. If the husband tells his wife and she tells him, no hiding...they both grow up.

  • @emilyn7572
    @emilyn7572 3 года назад

    I thought it was 17 too. 🙈😆

  • @adamhovey407
    @adamhovey407 8 лет назад

    Father, I am 28. Had I a wife, I think it might be a good idea to love her, well, for all time

  • @cloverfield911
    @cloverfield911 9 лет назад +13

    I guess it's divorce then after 70!!....LOL!

  • @bagobeans
    @bagobeans 8 лет назад

    Paul McCartney said "64" didn't he?

  • @akathevip
    @akathevip 3 года назад

    70°

  • @mikeploszay1135
    @mikeploszay1135 Год назад

    Why would I want a spiritual director when you can ask your priest? Does a spiritual director have any authority in the natural law of the Catholic Church? ✝️

    • @kelkabot
      @kelkabot Год назад +1

      Priests are thin on the ground and in high demand for the sacraments and other tasks. Also, someone might want a woman as spiritual director, or a married person. If you have a faithful and orthodox priest you trust, they can direct you to someone reliable.

  • @dianacarolinasantacruzruiz8725
    @dianacarolinasantacruzruiz8725 3 года назад

    "They don't love me" 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

  • @austinevans2804
    @austinevans2804 Год назад

    Its like saying I'll love you til death.. like gee thanks just wasted my life with you to hate me in the afterlife