Woke Jesus

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  • Опубликовано: 14 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 9 тыс.

  • @smallparticlelinda
    @smallparticlelinda 6 месяцев назад +1250

    "The man went away sad, for he was very white"
    Poor guy😂😂😂

    • @ronb6313
      @ronb6313 6 месяцев назад +17

      That one made me laugh also. This is the end my friend. Come Lord Jesus, come.

    • @malcolmharing3744
      @malcolmharing3744 6 месяцев назад +6

      Totally true today.

    • @a-s-greig
      @a-s-greig 6 месяцев назад +1

      Culturally tho...

    • @vickryan
      @vickryan 6 месяцев назад

      Yeah what a loser he was. Kinda skinny and pale skin. We call them " pale face" or "white people" whichever you're more comfortable with.

    • @Tamikawashere
      @Tamikawashere Месяц назад

      Especially because this is actually happening. You know food shelves now turn away white hungry people, right?

  • @jonathanclemens4660
    @jonathanclemens4660 6 месяцев назад +3183

    And they said unto him, "Lord, how many times should we be vaccinated? Seven times?" And he answered them "Nay, but rather seventy times seven."

    • @dhrush964
      @dhrush964 6 месяцев назад +64

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @Kholte
      @Kholte 6 месяцев назад +49

      🤣🤣🤣👏👍

    • @donoimdono2702
      @donoimdono2702 6 месяцев назад +35

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @johndilday1846
      @johndilday1846 6 месяцев назад +35

      Golden!

    • @bloomelo
      @bloomelo 6 месяцев назад +28

      Why are you guys so against getting vaccinated? I'm not an American, just curious. We're totally cool with it here in Asia.

  • @DanielJakub14
    @DanielJakub14 6 месяцев назад +947

    Woke Jesus would have condemned the crippled man as ableist for wanting to walk again.

    • @JudyPoody
      @JudyPoody 6 месяцев назад +19

      🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @melschevelle
      @melschevelle 6 месяцев назад +12

      Yes😇😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @kennethkho7165
      @kennethkho7165 6 месяцев назад +24

      why are they like this

    • @clyde19788
      @clyde19788 6 месяцев назад +16

      republican jesus would tell him to pay for his own disability and to get loss

    • @HighlanderNorth1
      @HighlanderNorth1 6 месяцев назад

      Woke Jesus wouldn't be a f**king white guy either! That's woke Satan.....

  • @unsinnkim3690
    @unsinnkim3690 3 месяца назад +225

    "I merely stole it from that village over there"
    🤣🤣🤣

    • @LifeOmineO
      @LifeOmineO 2 месяца назад +1

      Wealth redistribution 🤡

    • @RichardThomas-q4i
      @RichardThomas-q4i 27 дней назад +11

      It's called "wealth redistribution".

  • @46sn29
    @46sn29 6 месяцев назад +8935

    This isn't even satire at this point. They genuinely act like this.

    • @allismama
      @allismama 6 месяцев назад +178

      But Jesus didn't act this way....

    • @46sn29
      @46sn29 6 месяцев назад +457

      @allismama Wasn't referring to Jesus. Was referring to the far left that this video is mocking.

    • @mustang607
      @mustang607 6 месяцев назад +91

      They follow a different religion.

    • @cbbees1468
      @cbbees1468 6 месяцев назад

      ​@@allismamaWay to miss the point that Lefty pedarasts act like this.

    • @VintageCardinal
      @VintageCardinal 6 месяцев назад

      @thedude-kl5zh Oh look, a TROLL account! Jesus was not a socialist dum a33. You're what the ad at the end was referring to: woke FALSE ideologies about Jesus.

  • @drewelliott9062
    @drewelliott9062 6 месяцев назад +9137

    Only half of Americans realize this is a satire.

    • @sherizaahd
      @sherizaahd 6 месяцев назад +126

      hah! probably more like 40%

    • @herbiehusker1889
      @herbiehusker1889 6 месяцев назад +122

      I bet the Shrekgender don't know.

    • @fyrchmyrddin1937
      @fyrchmyrddin1937 6 месяцев назад +71

      I would be tempted to send it to an old friend of my mother's, but she would think it's real and part of her "Social Gospel" church material...

    • @kelvinadcock5767
      @kelvinadcock5767 6 месяцев назад +113

      Actually 85% of Hollyweird, 50% of the government and 65% of college students won't understand this.

    • @TheGraffiti600rr
      @TheGraffiti600rr 6 месяцев назад +8

      But is it.... 😂😂😂

  • @trevorwhat
    @trevorwhat 6 месяцев назад +1506

    It’d be even funnier if it wasn’t *exactly* what’s now being promulgated.

    • @livenotbylies
      @livenotbylies 6 месяцев назад +57

      As usual, the bee's funny is tinged with the horror of its proximity to truth. Reality has become a black satire of itself and the bee just tells us about it

    • @RachDarastrix2
      @RachDarastrix2 6 месяцев назад

      Humans are so proud of themselves because they go all day mocking God without getting struck by a lightning bolt.
      But what they haven't counted on is that God created them in his image to set an example that we should be willing to mock ourselves.

    • @ArbiterDan
      @ArbiterDan 6 месяцев назад +30

      @@livenotbylies You're just a Shrek-gendered pony soldier. Lets be friends for life.

    • @mustang607
      @mustang607 6 месяцев назад +14

      Woke Jesus speaks THEIR TRUTH.

    • @simon7107
      @simon7107 6 месяцев назад

      However, we can also turn this around. Jesus was a brown Arab and yet conservatives always portray him as white. Jesus said those who give away all their possessions and give to the poor will have the greatest treasures in heaven. Yet Christian Republicans HATE giving part of their tax dollars to the poorest Americans. If Jesus came to the US in person toaday,l many conservatives would want him deported on the basis of being a brown-skinned socialist.

  • @gosugosu1280
    @gosugosu1280 3 месяца назад +141

    2:25 "Cancel your enemies." gets me the most! XD

    • @nicoleking772
      @nicoleking772 16 дней назад

      Do onto others, before they do onto the party

    • @chinadjunior
      @chinadjunior 4 дня назад +1

      😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
      I didn't see that coming.

  • @Fallout9520
    @Fallout9520 6 месяцев назад +1631

    Cancel Your Enemies! ✋

    • @mustang607
      @mustang607 6 месяцев назад +36

      The virtuous feeling will signal their virtue.

    • @ezpeasyjeps
      @ezpeasyjeps 6 месяцев назад +12

      Amen

    • @dickdastardly8150
      @dickdastardly8150 6 месяцев назад

      47

    • @MiguelMedV
      @MiguelMedV 6 месяцев назад +20

      "Amen 🙏🏼" ー All Twitter users 🤣💀🔥...

    • @Itsdasummer32
      @Itsdasummer32 6 месяцев назад +12

      😂😂😂😂

  • @NinjaFlibble
    @NinjaFlibble 6 месяцев назад +1031

    Innacurate.
    Woke Jesus would still be naming genders today.

    • @SeaJay_Oceans
      @SeaJay_Oceans 6 месяцев назад +77

      Wearing rainbow robes, of course !

    • @toekneemart5597
      @toekneemart5597 6 месяцев назад +58

      @@SeaJay_Oceans stole them from joseph

    • @NinjaFlibble
      @NinjaFlibble 6 месяцев назад +6

      @@SeaJay_Oceans
      Good point 🤣

    • @GenuineLhachwen
      @GenuineLhachwen 6 месяцев назад +28

      ​@@toekneemart5597redistributed from Joseph... 😂

    • @NinjaFlibble
      @NinjaFlibble 6 месяцев назад

      @Clouseauish
      I'm making a joke about how, in the Left's view, there are a infinite amount of genders

  • @BiggMo
    @BiggMo 6 месяцев назад +2866

    If I had a dollar for every gender today , I’d have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.

  • @debl9957
    @debl9957 Месяц назад +86

    "Lazarus will live again ... With this mail-in ballot."
    So true.

  • @cmoto1
    @cmoto1 6 месяцев назад +4855

    He forgot "Blessed are the Democrats for they will not be prosecuted."

    • @SimpMcSimpy
      @SimpMcSimpy 6 месяцев назад +86

      good one :)

    • @keepingthefaith9041
      @keepingthefaith9041 6 месяцев назад

      Oh Yes, this is so true. Thou shall not prosecute thy Democrats.
      What ever that comes out of their mouth, ( even if it's AOC) it is the truth.

    • @OxyCleanForYourBrain
      @OxyCleanForYourBrain 6 месяцев назад +88

      You're right. Babylon Bee needs to be working on parts 2 and 3

    • @jenme7926
      @jenme7926 6 месяцев назад +44

      Boy ain't that the truth!

    • @terihart5333
      @terihart5333 6 месяцев назад +15

      😂

  • @ManoloVintage
    @ManoloVintage 6 месяцев назад +1034

    Jesus sailed across the lake across from Galilee. As soon as he stepped ashore, he saw a naked man. Jesus immediately asked him, "What are your pronouns?"
    The man replied, "They, Them, and Legion."

    • @JesusAteWithTaxCollectors
      @JesusAteWithTaxCollectors 6 месяцев назад

      🤣

    • @Mailed-Knight
      @Mailed-Knight 6 месяцев назад +17

      Ha ha ha!

    • @trackpackgt877
      @trackpackgt877 6 месяцев назад +29

      lol 😂classic!! the video was funny but your comment was hilarious!!!!! 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏

    • @yezki8
      @yezki8 6 месяцев назад +62

      "For we are many"

    • @cannedlaughter2535
      @cannedlaughter2535 6 месяцев назад +53

      Prolly the only time when said pronouns were correct.

  • @lanngunn6512
    @lanngunn6512 6 месяцев назад +5070

    "My Lord, how can I be saved."
    "Be less white " 😂💀

    • @mustang607
      @mustang607 6 месяцев назад +107

      Woke Jesus: “I’ll Show You The Dark Side”

    • @lukewilmington9807
      @lukewilmington9807 6 месяцев назад +211

      But the man went away sad,
      For he was very white

    • @lanngunn6512
      @lanngunn6512 6 месяцев назад +22

      @mustang607 Will this be AI version of Jesus?

    • @sharonabbott9588
      @sharonabbott9588 6 месяцев назад

      Be less white... 😂😂😂

    • @bertram-raven
      @bertram-raven 6 месяцев назад +10

      'And Jesus said unto the congregation at the Correspondents' Dinner, "America! F**k, Yeah!"'

  • @Anonymous-dy1up
    @Anonymous-dy1up Месяц назад +43

    The number of people that think this is actually making fun of Jesus is alarming. This is satire, showing what the left would LIKE Jesus to be like.

    • @mr.0iq52
      @mr.0iq52 18 дней назад +2

      Silence, the same thing they are using God's name in vain may God forgive y all for y'all do not know what y all do. It would have been made a big deal if someone made a video on how gay ppl act.

    • @jtfike
      @jtfike 14 дней назад

      @@mr.0iq52 I don't think it is blasphemy. Blasphemy is someone seriously portraying Jesus or his words in a deceitful or inaccurate way.

    • @nataniyaldemerachew3025
      @nataniyaldemerachew3025 13 дней назад

      I thought it was too at first. I have no idea what the Lord thinks of this but I think this satire does portray the real world, sadly

    • @minecraftminifiguresadvent3170
      @minecraftminifiguresadvent3170 13 дней назад

      @@jtfike i find the video offensive

    • @mflow6485
      @mflow6485 18 часов назад

      ​@@minecraftminifiguresadvent3170 It is not meant to disparage Jesus. I agree it is jarring to see Jesus saying these things but it is meant to show how far these false and toxic policies/mindsets are from the true teachings of Christ.

  • @totalcreativegaming6681
    @totalcreativegaming6681 6 месяцев назад +347

    Real Jesus: “I preach love & forgiveness to all”
    Woke Jesus: “I preach hatred of everyone who disagrees with me.”

    • @francoisnada7464
      @francoisnada7464 6 месяцев назад +8

      "Real" Jesus also said: "But as for these enemies of mine, who did not want me to reign over them, bring them here and SLAUGHTER them before me" ... oh yeah, love and forgiveness to all ^^ Give me a break.

    • @leonardogabrieltrevinoloba2377
      @leonardogabrieltrevinoloba2377 6 месяцев назад +6

      Matthew 13:50 and Mark 16:16 shows you're wrong.

    • @francoisnada7464
      @francoisnada7464 6 месяцев назад +2

      @@leonardogabrieltrevinoloba2377 the quote i just wrote shows that Matthew13:50 and Mark 16:16 are wrong. Or a lie. Anyway, defending Christianity is defending the enemy of humanity, your best ally, those who corrupt all politicians , the so called "donors" .. those who want you to "lick the dust of their feet", as stated in the Bible.

    • @leonardogabrieltrevinoloba2377
      @leonardogabrieltrevinoloba2377 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@francoisnada7464 Don't worry man.
      I actually agree with what you say.
      I'm an atheist. I was just showing to this believer that he was wrong in thinking that the "master" he believes (aka jesus) preached about love and forgiveness.

    • @francoisnada7464
      @francoisnada7464 6 месяцев назад

      @@leonardogabrieltrevinoloba2377 My bad ! i just saw that your comment was not for me :))
      Sometime, i wonder if they really read this book ! Have a nice day :)

  • @TheIrishny
    @TheIrishny 6 месяцев назад +400

    The legitimate good acting of this guy is what sells it and makes it so funny.

    • @skidmc
      @skidmc 6 месяцев назад +1

      such a W

    • @judithstratton9073
      @judithstratton9073 6 месяцев назад +3

      And, sadly, ACCURATE.

    • @VincitOmniaVeritas7
      @VincitOmniaVeritas7 6 месяцев назад +9

      He is the best actor on the Babylon Bee channel IMHO. He plays the recurrent character Devil and does great English and Russian accents too.
      The California Couple that moved to Texas are also great.

    • @ameliac7338
      @ameliac7338 6 месяцев назад +1

      Man if I was not this set id be laughing so hard

  • @gugan_1678
    @gugan_1678 6 месяцев назад +1428

    Getting called a femboy by Jesus is literally the worst thing imaginable.

    • @LordKlavier
      @LordKlavier 6 месяцев назад +16

      Bahaha

    • @incran9027
      @incran9027 6 месяцев назад +36

      No clue what you mean. Sounds like a compliment to me

    • @lanngunn6512
      @lanngunn6512 6 месяцев назад +7

      🤣💀

    • @VroomNDoom2602
      @VroomNDoom2602 6 месяцев назад +65

      "Get behind me, Satan" ❌
      "Get behind me, femboy" ✅
      I think you're right.

    • @xaestar.
      @xaestar. 6 месяцев назад

      @@incran9027ew get help 🤢

  • @mutchheritage
    @mutchheritage 2 месяца назад +24

    Woke Jesus is making me feel super grateful for the real, immutable King of all creation, Jesus.🎉

  • @bsavvy5129
    @bsavvy5129 6 месяцев назад +683

    “Your brother Lazarus will live on. … Through this mail in ballot.”

    • @MarkfonzY
      @MarkfonzY 6 месяцев назад +25

      I wish he would have said "these" ballots and handed him a bundle!

    • @mr.objective6936
      @mr.objective6936 6 месяцев назад +15

      He should have said “your brother Lazarus will live on, or at least his vote will live on through these mail in ballots”.

    • @tylersoto7465
      @tylersoto7465 6 месяцев назад +13

      Lmao 🤣 I died laughing seeing how casual he says that why handing her the papers

    • @blackprince4074
      @blackprince4074 6 месяцев назад +10

      Gold nothing but GOLD!

    • @Ann1234
      @Ann1234 6 месяцев назад +6

      My favorite!

  • @mcgspare1310
    @mcgspare1310 6 месяцев назад +5247

    You forgot to make him a black woman.

    • @cscates3598
      @cscates3598 6 месяцев назад +678

      You mean they forgot to make “them” a black trans woman. 😂

    • @porcian4306
      @porcian4306 6 месяцев назад +103

      Nailed it!

    • @user-jx6lf8cy4s
      @user-jx6lf8cy4s 6 месяцев назад

      @@cscates3598 black trans lesbian in a wheelchair

    • @Clair1868
      @Clair1868 6 месяцев назад +166

      Don't forget the hundred and one face piercings, demonic tattoos, and the purple hair!

    • @joecarpino4462
      @joecarpino4462 6 месяцев назад +75

      mcgspare1310- a lesbian black women at that!

  • @treychow
    @treychow 6 месяцев назад +956

    You had me at, "He'll live again, with this mail in ballot" ,😂🤣😂

    • @huntermahoney9309
      @huntermahoney9309 6 месяцев назад +9

      😭😭🤣

    • @edwardicus4
      @edwardicus4 6 месяцев назад +14

      It took me a minute to catch that😂

    • @blai5e730
      @blai5e730 6 месяцев назад +19

      That one cracked me up!

    • @TheSongofSaya
      @TheSongofSaya 6 месяцев назад +10

      I am not american. What does that joke mean?

    • @blai5e730
      @blai5e730 6 месяцев назад +33

      @@TheSongofSaya - neither am I but that's a dig that votes of deceased citizens were allegedly counted in a presidential election.

  • @StephanieDavidson-b2p
    @StephanieDavidson-b2p Месяц назад +21

    The sad thing is that many people think this is who Jesus is.😥

    • @ChevrolineSummer
      @ChevrolineSummer 5 дней назад +1

      @@StephanieDavidson-b2p That is true. And maybe that's what a lot of the people who comment think. And this is just a mockery of the real Jesus. Because Jesus is God and trying to make him anything less than Holy is a mockery, and blasphemous. Idk how to show people that Jesus is more that what they believe and that this mockery is just a mockery and not at all the Jesus of the Bible

    • @StephanieDavidson-b2p
      @StephanieDavidson-b2p 4 дня назад

      @@ChevrolineSummer I think most important of all is they need to know why they need a savior in the first place. That by breaking any one of the 10 commandments God will justly send them to eternal hell. But God sent his one and only son Jesus (God in the flesh) to die a death we deserved and if we repent and put our faith in Jesus, he will forgive us in an instant and we have the promise of eternal life with him forever. As far as showing people the real Jesus, take it from the source, find bible verses that show the real Jesus. Just remember absolute truth is real and the bible is absolute truth. Wethers the person believes that or not is irrelevant. I could believe I was an elephant but that doesn't make it true. There is a semi-truck (aka death/hell) coming for every person whether they believe it or not and they need to get out of the way. Living Waters RUclips channel is a great place to go If you have more questions. They basically go around witnessing to people on the street. They also have a course called the Way of the Master. Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort were the 2 main people who put it together. They also had a tv show for a while in the early 2000's by the same name. Don't know if you were actually expecting an answer but I hope this helps. I'd love to hear back from you. God bless.

  • @mushy2bc482
    @mushy2bc482 6 месяцев назад +591

    I thought this was a Disney remake of a passion of Christ but then I realized Jesus was white.

    • @jefff8130
      @jefff8130 6 месяцев назад +10

      😂😂😂

    • @ChacoOutdoorsman
      @ChacoOutdoorsman 6 месяцев назад +3

      😂😂

    • @mikekasich836
      @mikekasich836 6 месяцев назад +16

      "Lazarus will live again thru this mail in ballot" 😂

    • @relishgargler
      @relishgargler 6 месяцев назад +14

      And male

    • @robertd9850
      @robertd9850 6 месяцев назад

      I thought it was an updated Life of Bryan skit.

  • @Zactivist
    @Zactivist 6 месяцев назад +439

    Woke Jesus: "Do not teach a man to fish, let him loot the Walmart so that he may watch The Fishing Channel on an 85" big screen."

    • @CrumpetsNBiscuits
      @CrumpetsNBiscuits 6 месяцев назад +7

      lol

    • @АлексейПлакхин
      @АлексейПлакхин 6 месяцев назад +6

      Woke Jesus is always for free education too. It is right who force capable, smart, gifted people into poverty or educational debt at the expense of technological stagnation.

    • @LalalandLizzy
      @LalalandLizzy 6 месяцев назад +2

      ☠️☠️☠️

    • @ctypino2849
      @ctypino2849 6 месяцев назад +3

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @bigp2930
      @bigp2930 6 месяцев назад +2

      I can barely type, I'm laughing so hard...epic comment, thank you. Oh, yeah, and you're probably going to he*l 😁

  • @SeanSandberg-j3q
    @SeanSandberg-j3q 6 месяцев назад +234

    "Do not be afraid, for Lazarus will live again-through this mail-in ballot."
    I believe!

    • @McLovin_2007
      @McLovin_2007 6 месяцев назад +7

      LOL...........good one.

    • @Karmyogi123
      @Karmyogi123 5 месяцев назад

      धर्म क्या हैं?
      पृथ्वी का धर्म है l
      सुरज - सूर्य का चक्कर लगाणाl ओर जीवन को पोषण देना l
      सुर्य का धर्म क्या हैं?
      सुर्य का धर्म पृथ्वी ओर सारे ग्रहो को प्रकाश ऊर्जा से ओतप्रोत करना l
      वहा के जीवन को ऊर्जा देना l ओर हमारे ऋषी मुनी वो महान सायन्सटिस्ट थे l जिंहोने प्रकृती की इस सुंदर नियमो का शोध किया l ओर पृथ्वी को धर्म नाम की एक जीवन जिने की, सुजलाम सुफलाम जीवन शैली दिl मुझे गर्व है की मे
      ऐसे महान पूर्वजो का
      ऐसी महान संस्कृती का एक पालक हुं l मेरे ऐसे महान पूर्वजो का ज्ञान-विज्ञान धरोहर अगले पिढी को देना मेरा परम कर्तव्य है l धर्म - मेरे निसर्गदत्त प्रकृती ने दिये हुवे मेरे कर्तव्य है l
      धर्म - का इस से सुंदर अर्थ ओर क्या हो सकता है l
      मैं एक पुरुष हुं l तो मैं एक सूर्य हुं l मेरे शरीर को तप्त कर, मेहनत कर कुटुंब का जीवन पोशित करना मेरा कर्तव्य है l मैं एक स्त्री हुं l तो मे पृथ्वी हुं l आगले पिढी को जन्म देना मेरा कर्तव्य है l मेरे कुटुंब की जिम्मेदारी निभाना मेरा धर्म है l
      स्कूल कॉलेज से धर्म कर्तव्य की शिक्षा निकाल के हम अधिकार की शिक्षा दे रहे हैं l मे कामगार हुं मुझे स्पेशल अधिकार दो l मैं स्त्री हुं मुझे स्पेशल अधिकार दो l मे संख्या मे कम हुं मुझे स्पेशल अधिकार दो l हर कोई अधिकार - स्पेशल ट्रीटमेन्ट माग रहा है l लेकीन कोई अपने कर्तव्य की l धर्म की बात नही कर राहा l
      हमें चाहिए धर्मक्रसी
      कर्तव्य का वाहन करणे वाली सोसांयटि
      ना की अपने अधिकार की डीमांड करणे वाली सोसायंटि?
      क्या हम धर्मनिरपेक्ष याने कर्तव्यनिरपेक्ष कर्तव्य ना करणे वाले ओर अधिकार के लिये रस्ते पे तोडफोड करणे वाले समाज को चाहते हैं? धर्मनिरपेक्ष देश - कर्तव्यनिरपेक्ष देश
      बरबाद हो जाते हैं l
      नष्ट हो जाते है l
      भारत वर्ष का सत्व धर्म - कर्तव्य आधारित जीवन जिने वाले लोग हैं l
      भारत के शत्रू भारत की ताकद जाणते है?
      लेकीन भारत के लोग धर्म की ताकद नही जाणते l
      एक बार धर्म का अर्थ पता चल जाये तो l आता है
      सत्य धर्मl मे सत्य के लिये लढुगा, झूट को एक्सपोज करना, अधर्म असत्य को एक्सपोज करना मेरा दायित्व हो जाता है lयेशू - येवोह ज्यू यहुदी गॉड है l ख्रिश्चन पंथ दुसरे लोगो के गॉड को मार्केटिंग कर के l ख्रिश्चन पंथ क्यो बेच रहा है l उसके पीछे उसका उद्देश आपकी जमीन आपके परिसर की सत्ता हसिल करना है l उसके लिये ये सैतान राक्षस लोग आपको वो सारे सपने दिखते है l जो उनके पास नही है l
      अभी ख्रिश्चन पंथ के पास अपना गॉड नाही l बायबल भी ज्यू यहुदी पवित्र तोराह पुस्तक की चोरी है l तो उसके पास खुद का स्वर्ग भी नहीं है l जो उनके फाद्री पास्टर 5-5 मिनट मे आपको देणे का वादा करते है l
      इस प्रकार क्रिश्चन पंथ के मिशनरी माफिया लोगो ने 107 देश की जमीन कब्जा कर ली है l
      आफ्रिका के भयानक गरीब लोगो की जमीन कब्जा कर वाहा के संसाधन अमेरिकन युरोप देश शोषण करते है l
      जब आफ्रिका मे एड्स / कोवीड जैसे महामारी चाली l इन अमेरिकन युरोप देश ने गरिब लोगो को महांगी दवाईयां की 1 रुपये किंमत काम नाही की l
      ऐसे भयानक समय मे सनातन हिंदू विचार वाले नरेंद्र मोदी ने इन लोगो को सस्ती दवाई या बेचि l
      धर्म मनुष्य को पशु से मानव बनाता है l ख्रिश्चन पंथ मानव को पशु बनता है l इस्लाम पंथ मानव को पशु बनाता है l

    • @bryonstevenson1084
      @bryonstevenson1084 5 месяцев назад +3

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @trueblaze84
      @trueblaze84 4 месяца назад

      Bad news, Trump now says he never said anything bad about mail in ballots. That' means this comment officially labels you as a lying liberal.

  • @captaintrips2980
    @captaintrips2980 Месяц назад +13

    These videos should be entitled "Whoooosh", for going over so many peoples' heads. Nice work, Bee!

  • @warholcow
    @warholcow 4 месяца назад +154

    So funny but sad because this is literally how they are.

    • @mkay1957
      @mkay1957 Месяц назад +4

      I was born in the SF Bay Area and lived there for many years. They really are like this.

    • @-r-3656
      @-r-3656 29 дней назад

      It's not? This is kind of a skewed view of how the left is. Most of us don't believe there are a million genders. It was also probably like one person on the internet that said "Eat the rich." I do not affiliate with whoever this video makes fun of, and I would consider myself pretty far left.

  • @unncommonsense
    @unncommonsense 6 месяцев назад +414

    "Be less white." -funny.
    "But the man went away sad for he was very white." -I lost it.

    • @patrickseekins1299
      @patrickseekins1299 6 месяцев назад +14

      I lost it when he Said Lazarus would live on with this mail in ballot!

    • @Daniel_walks_with_Tobi
      @Daniel_walks_with_Tobi 6 месяцев назад +2

      The irony here is that this was satire on how Jesus said to the wealthy man "stop being wealthy" but the man wouldnt let go of his money. And Jesus said this is why he will not be in heaven, his love for money. Jesus was a communist, but this video implies that Jesus was a materialisitc capitalist who is ok with greed driven society and wealth accumulation.

    • @aboutwhat1930
      @aboutwhat1930 6 месяцев назад

      @@Daniel_walks_with_Tobi Not really on either count. He said and heavily implied that the wealthy man loved his money and wouldn't let go of it. That's not a criticism of being industrious or wise with your assets, but of the greed of that wealthy man. He made money the most important thing in his life-- more important than his family, his friends, his society, and certainly more important than God. Jesus also spoke the parable of the talents-- three servants entrusted 5 talents of gold, and 3 talents, and 1 talent. A single talent was a fair amount of wealth-- almost US$400K in 2024. So the first was to manage $2M, the second to manage $1.2M, and the third to manage $400K.
      The man who was entrusted with 1 talent buried it and returned to his master 1 talent. He was wicked/lazy since he didn't actually do anything with that wealth. He didn't start a business, he didn't invest, he didn't even put it in the bank to collect some interest. He was afraid of being industrious, he was afraid of hard work, and he wouldn't even do the minimum. His master took the 1 talent from that man.
      The men who were entrusted with 3 talents and 5 talents used it as an investment and returned their master 6 talents & 10 talents respectively. Both doubled the money they were entrusted with. The master let them continue with their profitable work, giving the man who already had 10 talents of gold an 11th talent.
      A fortune isn't our own. It's merely ours to manage, it's ours to grow: we are to be a good steward of that money for the glory of the Kingdom of God.

    • @paulgemme6056
      @paulgemme6056 6 месяцев назад +2

      Without faith it is impossible to please God/Jesus Christ. One must be born again, born of the Spirit (Holy Spirit), born from above. read the gospel of John chapter three if honestly want to know the truth. One cannot know the truth if he or she rejects the truth. Jesus Christ is the truth, the way and the life no one will escape hell accept by grace through faith in the blood Christ shed and the finished work that Christ completed on the cross. The Pharisees were the most religious men on the planet in Christ's day and Christ Jesus told them their father was the devil because they didn't accept the truth even though the truth was standing right in front of them.
      Hebrews 11:6
      But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

    • @Carolinablue78JS
      @Carolinablue78JS 5 месяцев назад

      ​@@Daniel_walks_with_TobiNo

  • @AverageTruckOwner1322
    @AverageTruckOwner1322 6 месяцев назад +291

    Wait one moment, you forgot Jesus telling His disciples blessed are the peacemakers who protest on college campuses.

    • @nydiacanas603
      @nydiacanas603 6 месяцев назад +10

      Good one 👍

    • @AverageTruckOwner1322
      @AverageTruckOwner1322 6 месяцев назад +2

      @@nydiacanas603 Thankyou

    • @meciocio
      @meciocio 6 месяцев назад +8

      like how jesus protested against the merchants and the money changers in the cleansing of the temple

    • @ZilogBob
      @ZilogBob 6 месяцев назад +5

      I thought he said "Blessed are the cheesemakers".

    • @VickiSmith-eg9oo
      @VickiSmith-eg9oo 6 месяцев назад +12

      And left the campus filled with trash.

  • @Fr3d671
    @Fr3d671 2 месяца назад +21

    When comedy meets today's new twisted reality 🤣🍻👏🏽

  • @DRAKKENFIRE22
    @DRAKKENFIRE22 6 месяцев назад +4802

    To a leftist, this isn’t satire…it’s a documentary!

  • @devindaniels1379
    @devindaniels1379 6 месяцев назад +365

    Legend has it that Jesus is still listing genders to this day.

    • @firstknight117
      @firstknight117 6 месяцев назад +7

      I just can't with the Bee. What is worse is that I've heard of a lot (not all) of these genders and I'm pretty sure they must be on a list somewhere...

    • @i.g.l.z.9215
      @i.g.l.z.9215 6 месяцев назад

      😂😂😂

    • @FootballFan17243
      @FootballFan17243 6 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@firstknight117 i have also heard of a lot of made up things

    • @Hanako-San100
      @Hanako-San100 6 месяцев назад +3

      It's been 2000 years since…. does he ever get tired?

    • @ConservativeGrouch
      @ConservativeGrouch 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@firstknight117If they are on a list, it can't be on hard copy. The number and type of goofy pronouns changes so quickly and so often, it would be out of date by the time the list comes off the printer.

  • @DaxAxeOffical
    @DaxAxeOffical 6 месяцев назад +271

    Jesus calling someone a femboy is INSANE

    • @Catho.
      @Catho. 5 месяцев назад +18

      never in my life would i ever hear someone acting as jesus say femboy, yet here i am

    • @ryze9153
      @ryze9153 5 месяцев назад +10

      ​@@Catho.Never in my life have I seen the words "woke" and "Jesus" put together.

    • @Catho.
      @Catho. 5 месяцев назад +1

      @@ryze9153 indeed my brother

    • @randybuttry4367
      @randybuttry4367 5 месяцев назад +1

      It's blasphemy

    • @demodiums7216
      @demodiums7216 4 месяца назад

      @@ryze9153 Jesus was literally the wokest hippie of his time lmao. He was a ling haired, unemployed man who preached love and forgiveness...and frequently hung out with the degenerates of society

  • @auntie4387
    @auntie4387 3 месяца назад +61

    I bet you never thought the Olympics would outdo your parody.

    • @D00M_SIay3r
      @D00M_SIay3r 3 месяца назад +2

      Somehow

    • @Noah_E
      @Noah_E 5 дней назад

      What makes the Imane Khelif fighting women even crazier is that HE has 5-alpha reductase deficiency. That is a male with a micro-penis and undescended testicles, but the same testosterone and male puberty and strength as other men. The OIC knew that and still let HIM compete against women.

  • @clyyoung7511
    @clyyoung7511 4 месяца назад +853

    "He will live on... through this mail-in ballet" 😂

  • @bast4rdlyreaper
    @bast4rdlyreaper 5 месяцев назад +472

    I sent this to the "pastor" of the United Methodist Church in my city, she didn't appreciate it.

    • @DutchDansing
      @DutchDansing 5 месяцев назад

      women should not even be in those positions according to scripture lol

    • @Truthhound1
      @Truthhound1 4 месяца назад

      haha. The only humour radical feminists appreciate is dirty jokes and gratuitous insults of MAGA people. They hiss at all other humour.

    • @gonzalezdeorense792
      @gonzalezdeorense792 4 месяца назад +63

      Female pastor?

    • @Oz-gv5fz
      @Oz-gv5fz 4 месяца назад

      @@gonzalezdeorense792 she has a d1ck I bet 🤔

    • @Oblitus1
      @Oblitus1 4 месяца назад +32

      Oh now, this is the most hilarious thing of all. I can't stop busting out even as I type.

  • @RhymesWithCrazy
    @RhymesWithCrazy 6 месяцев назад +84

    Lemme just say tho…actor Jesus here is phenomenal with his delivery. I’d watch way more with him

  • @g.w.7893
    @g.w.7893 Месяц назад +3

    I was waiting for the comedy to kick in but this was more of a documentary. Very accurate.

  • @pug-man6861
    @pug-man6861 6 месяцев назад +281

    When comedy is our actual reality

    • @SeaJay_Oceans
      @SeaJay_Oceans 6 месяцев назад +14

      When our nighmares start After we wake up in the morning...

    • @Kat-zk6qy
      @Kat-zk6qy 6 месяцев назад +4

      BB has a nack for doing this. They're more accurate than the Simpsons

    • @Grummel1971
      @Grummel1971 6 месяцев назад +2

      Thats what the world feels like to me at last in the last ten years.

    • @FuKuntt
      @FuKuntt 6 месяцев назад

      Don't blame democrats for your lack of education and failures.

    • @warrentaylor6230
      @warrentaylor6230 6 месяцев назад

      Yep, that's tight, Jesus was white, not an Arab.

  • @sue8344
    @sue8344 6 месяцев назад +208

    Once again , Babylon Bee sums up current culture perfectly .

  • @Dan_Rodrigues
    @Dan_Rodrigues 6 месяцев назад +671

    Oh! The "legendary Jesus" who lives in the minds of leftists.
    Don't do drugs, kids.

    • @DOWNUNDER.
      @DOWNUNDER. 6 месяцев назад +18

      LMAO
      but
      I am entirely unsure about the blasphemy aspect,
      Will I have to go to a re-education camp
      🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

    • @miask
      @miask 6 месяцев назад +10

      @@DOWNUNDER.I’m afraid so. 😉🤓

    • @Dan_Rodrigues
      @Dan_Rodrigues 6 месяцев назад +18

      @@DOWNUNDER. I hear you. But sometimes you must become the absurd to show the absurd. And the intention of the video is to show how ridiculous the left's claims regarding Jesus are.

    • @twentyrothmans7308
      @twentyrothmans7308 6 месяцев назад

      I've yet to find a drug to retard me enough to be a leftist.
      The search goes on.

    • @simon7107
      @simon7107 6 месяцев назад

      However, if Jesus came to America in person today most conservatives would likely want him deported on the basis of being a brown-skinned Arab-looking socialist. Jesus said it's easier for a camel to go through an eye of a needle than for a rich person to go to heaven. He said sell all your possessions and give to the poor. And yet conservatives HATE that part of their tax dollars goes to the poorest Americans.

  • @GyrosHunter
    @GyrosHunter Месяц назад +6

    "Cancel your enemies ended me".

  • @getinthespace7715
    @getinthespace7715 6 месяцев назад +229

    "Lazarus will live again... through this mail in ballot"
    😂🤣😂

  • @whitneysmiltank
    @whitneysmiltank 6 месяцев назад +493

    "will live again... through this mail-in ballot" omfg LOL

    • @mustang607
      @mustang607 6 месяцев назад +31

      An example of comedy amplifying the bizarreness of truth.

    • @mattiassjoquist5042
      @mattiassjoquist5042 6 месяцев назад +27

      Arguably the funniest bit.

    • @ricelwr5255
      @ricelwr5255 6 месяцев назад +13

      Milk out the nose funny

    • @jongreen9171
      @jongreen9171 6 месяцев назад +6

      Classic

    • @glengardner4126
      @glengardner4126 6 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@mattiassjoquist5042I agree, but it was a Derby finish.

  • @alman-world
    @alman-world 6 месяцев назад +672

    The Mail In Ballot was a stroke of genius

    • @MrTrevortxeartxe
      @MrTrevortxeartxe 5 месяцев назад +7

      I don't get that one.

    • @marysueeasteregg
      @marysueeasteregg 5 месяцев назад

      @@MrTrevortxeartxe It's based on the [unproven] assumption that mail-in ballots facilitate voter fraud -- that it is easier for ballots to be falsely cast in the name of dead people, if the individuals are not showing up in person. The dead person is still "alive," so to speak.

    • @infpt24
      @infpt24 5 месяцев назад +3

      @@MrTrevortxeartxe Me neither

    • @anothergenericgamer_
      @anothergenericgamer_ 5 месяцев назад

      Far right claim of "stealing" election by people using mail in ballets for dead people to sway vote.

    • @jilalcocaine
      @jilalcocaine 5 месяцев назад

      Republicans said that dead people voted for Biden. Funny story though. More dead voted for Trump than Biden.

  • @6079.Smith.W
    @6079.Smith.W Месяц назад +10

    God will not be mocked

    • @mr.0iq52
      @mr.0iq52 18 дней назад

      May God forgive them cause they justify they do not know what is righteous

  • @user-bk9wq6sc9b
    @user-bk9wq6sc9b 6 месяцев назад +637

    How did the actor who played Jesus not laugh at every single line on this video, raw talent

    • @Zaloomination
      @Zaloomination 6 месяцев назад +48

      Multiple takes

    • @steven5917
      @steven5917 5 месяцев назад +18

      ​@Zaloomination he is a very talented and versatile actor, They need to do a Bee movie

    • @TheValorism
      @TheValorism 5 месяцев назад +5

      ...it's super sticky 3:53
      So many great funny lines yet that subtle extra comment broke me into laughter 😂😂
      But man...what is this world turning into 😶

    • @DiodeMom
      @DiodeMom 5 месяцев назад +4

      I saw him walk out of the shot once, looking like he was about to burst into laughter.

    • @vaneenusa1776
      @vaneenusa1776 5 месяцев назад

      My same thought!

  • @flamebroiledsquirrel
    @flamebroiledsquirrel 6 месяцев назад +456

    Finally, a gospel fit for a megachurch

    • @miask
      @miask 6 месяцев назад +12

      😂

    • @patriciamathews5975
      @patriciamathews5975 6 месяцев назад +16

      Making it much easier for all those ministers to "minister".

    • @LysisZero
      @LysisZero 6 месяцев назад +9

      Prophecy says the church becomes corrupted. The stance of the church, "we don't believe in prophecy".

    • @mustang607
      @mustang607 6 месяцев назад +11

      I knew Wokeness was a religion.

    • @karltiedemann7222
      @karltiedemann7222 6 месяцев назад

      No it wouldn't be eat the rich. It might be something more like steal from the poor

  • @stevenw7623
    @stevenw7623 6 месяцев назад +440

    Lazarus casting a ballot was pure genius.

    • @docwally1
      @docwally1 6 месяцев назад +5

      It's always been how the democrats win!🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @fitgiddlin21
      @fitgiddlin21 6 месяцев назад +2

      That was probably the only funny part of this. The original video GOP Jesus was way funnier and used actual Bible quotes.

    • @rodiusmaximus
      @rodiusmaximus 6 месяцев назад +1

      Now I get it!

    • @chriswilcox3383
      @chriswilcox3383 6 месяцев назад +2

      He will live again.. thru this mail in ballot
      That one was just perfect 😂😂

  • @jamespennington7919
    @jamespennington7919 Месяц назад +4

    Some good realism to underpin the heresy there. Good costumes, good scenery, and of course, Jesus's authentic almost British accent. Perfect really lol.

  • @hayesism
    @hayesism 6 месяцев назад +468

    The Jesus actor was star material. Superb timing and delivery while being absurdly handsome.
    The Bee's own Gosling.

    • @marissashantez6051
      @marissashantez6051 6 месяцев назад +5

      No doubt.

    • @hayesism
      @hayesism 6 месяцев назад

      @Steve-hm3ri Middle eastern men can be hot.

    • @33333Tarun
      @33333Tarun 6 месяцев назад +1

      @Steve-hm3ri He was a Palestinian.... but where's the stand with Palestine pin?

    • @le_rêveurr
      @le_rêveurr 6 месяцев назад +14

      @@33333Tarun Wasn't he a Jew/Judean? Correct me if I'm wrong.

    • @liamsanchezgoestovegas
      @liamsanchezgoestovegas 6 месяцев назад +5

      @@33333Tarundude. You’re joking and it’s funny. Sorry to blow your cover. 😂

  • @mattfromwiisports4910
    @mattfromwiisports4910 6 месяцев назад +155

    I hate to point this out but he missed about 34 genders.

    • @donoimdono2702
      @donoimdono2702 6 месяцев назад +31

      he's still naming them..... they just ran out of battery for the recording

    • @jenme7926
      @jenme7926 6 месяцев назад +2

      At least.. 😂

    • @i.g.l.z.9215
      @i.g.l.z.9215 6 месяцев назад +1

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @GreenyX1
      @GreenyX1 6 месяцев назад +5

      He resurrected to complete the list.

    • @luvsuneja
      @luvsuneja 5 месяцев назад

      Trump’s “felony” charges are genders?

  • @jayney6176
    @jayney6176 6 месяцев назад +279

    Woke Jesus parties with sinners... turning vats of water into kegs of Bud Lite.

    • @attah-odejohogwu9357
      @attah-odejohogwu9357 6 месяцев назад +5

      jesus always partied with sinners
      he just changed them afterwards

    • @EieiExamplEeiEi
      @EieiExamplEeiEi 6 месяцев назад +1

      This one is good 😂

    • @onlythetruth2063
      @onlythetruth2063 6 месяцев назад

      Ouch

    • @The_Lord_has_it
      @The_Lord_has_it 6 месяцев назад +3

      Yes but you leave out the part where he DOES NOT affirm them in their sin.

    • @CatThwomper
      @CatThwomper 6 месяцев назад +2

      @@attah-odejohogwu9357 Jesus, and He.

  • @juanrangel7007
    @juanrangel7007 25 дней назад +5

    1:00. Yeah i couldn't finish this. My spirit was was affected by gringe 😂😂😂

  • @paulraz6963
    @paulraz6963 4 месяца назад +317

    So good to use humor to point out stupidity. Comedians used to do that all the time when our country had a sense of humor. Well done.

    • @RCAvhstape
      @RCAvhstape 4 месяца назад +18

      That's why the Left cancels comedians. No mocking of the new order is to be permitted.

    • @chriskulig
      @chriskulig 4 месяца назад +3

      well said

    • @SharkBoyMemes
      @SharkBoyMemes 3 месяца назад

      you should be ashamed

    • @Stuart267
      @Stuart267 3 месяца назад +4

      @@SharkBoyMemes Lol why? They are right.

    • @alihorda
      @alihorda 3 месяца назад

      *far left ​@@RCAvhstape

  • @MikeEdwards-j9g
    @MikeEdwards-j9g 6 месяцев назад +361

    "actually I stole it from that village over there. it's called wealth redistribution"
    I freaking lost it at that point

    • @michaelhiatt8802
      @michaelhiatt8802 6 месяцев назад +8

      The way the disciple says "Nice" at the end really closes it. This might be the Bee's best work to date.

    • @FuKuntt
      @FuKuntt 6 месяцев назад

      Like you have enough income to redistribute. Lol. Have you considered community college?

    • @arches_aviation8584
      @arches_aviation8584 6 месяцев назад +1

      Hellsing pfp? Based

    • @crazyleaf257
      @crazyleaf257 6 месяцев назад

      😂😂😂😂

    • @Hotmom_lover678
      @Hotmom_lover678 6 месяцев назад +1

      Oh my gosh the same That's my favorite

  • @SweetMamaG
    @SweetMamaG 6 месяцев назад +142

    Do not be afraid, for Lazarus will live again... through this mail in ballot.: John 6:66

    • @lisarodriguez2926
      @lisarodriguez2926 6 месяцев назад +8

      If I was drinking at the time, I would of choked! Or spit.
      That was funny and sadly true, at the same time.
      The Bee nailed it, as all the rest🤗

    • @Lastjustice
      @Lastjustice 6 месяцев назад +4

      And that was the moment I laughed way too hard and clicked like.

  • @debsalle5189
    @debsalle5189 3 месяца назад +8

    😂😂😂 thanks for the satire. I love the Jesus of the Bible so much, but these twists are hilarious.

    • @mr.0iq52
      @mr.0iq52 18 дней назад +1

      As a Christian you should be ashamed

    • @debsalle5189
      @debsalle5189 18 дней назад

      ​​@@mr.0iq52 shhus! i didn't ask for your opinion/judgement and I don't need it.

  • @sunisshiningiceisslippery
    @sunisshiningiceisslippery 6 месяцев назад +146

    "Shrek gendered? If you want, make them all up. It's fine." 🤣🤣

    • @johnnythewalrus
      @johnnythewalrus 6 месяцев назад +1

      I think inlaughed most at this part

    • @il35215
      @il35215 2 месяца назад

      Straight == shrek, it’s make my day!

  • @isaiahpero7837
    @isaiahpero7837 6 месяцев назад +130

    My favorite part was Jesus naming all of the 5,269 “genders” in existence (so far) and the camera kept coming back to him for Part 4 & 5, then part 6, and so on and so forth. Then he said, ” Just keep making them up.” 😂😂

  • @zunalter
    @zunalter 6 месяцев назад +111

    The new season of the chosen is wild

    • @tylersoto7465
      @tylersoto7465 3 месяца назад

      Lmao they should make a whole tv series of this lol

  • @VasiliyKelemen-f4p
    @VasiliyKelemen-f4p Месяц назад +5

    God is Not MOCKED what a man sows this also he will reap.

  • @PeaceIntheValley
    @PeaceIntheValley 6 месяцев назад +156

    The ballot for Lazarus was already filled out right?

    • @dichotomus3764
      @dichotomus3764 6 месяцев назад

      And photocopied a few hundred thousand times and delivered to a single municipality at 4 am. But remember every election is super secure (except 2016) if you are a progressive.

    • @transparentglazier
      @transparentglazier 6 месяцев назад +17

      Numerous times too!

    • @LC-iv8lf
      @LC-iv8lf 5 месяцев назад +1

      I didn't notice that!! Haha!! If we can't have election integrity at least we can have the best satire!! 😅

  • @Gonzalez541
    @Gonzalez541 6 месяцев назад +537

    Christ Is King

  • @bythefirepodcast
    @bythefirepodcast 6 месяцев назад +217

    That Lazarus mail-in ballot line got me.

    • @johnsohc
      @johnsohc 6 месяцев назад +4

      Exactly! Spot on.

    • @nelsonx5326
      @nelsonx5326 6 месяцев назад +1

      'Lazarus will live as an avatar in the multiverse'.

    • @SwissMiss138
      @SwissMiss138 6 месяцев назад +1

      Same!

    • @rzn2258
      @rzn2258 6 месяцев назад +1

      That was f###ing hilarious

  • @elizabethk5476
    @elizabethk5476 28 дней назад +3

    Galatians 6:7, "Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.

    • @EddieNarrea
      @EddieNarrea 24 дня назад +1

      Your Probably the only one here in the comments I've seen who actually cares and believes in Jesus. God bless ✝️💖

  • @mikenovember9688
    @mikenovember9688 6 месяцев назад +108

    Thank you, Anglo-Saxon Jesus!

    • @gerrydean7696
      @gerrydean7696 6 месяцев назад +5

      Waaaa!😭👶

    • @Josephe-Anne
      @Josephe-Anne 6 месяцев назад +2

      Yeah, I don't get why he has a British accent. 😅

    • @a-s-greig
      @a-s-greig 6 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@Josephe-AnneBritish Palestine

  • @YZ-sb1yf
    @YZ-sb1yf 6 месяцев назад +174

    “Put this human rights sticker on your camel”😂😂

    • @_koschwarz
      @_koschwarz 6 месяцев назад +3

      "Super sticky."

  • @jasonstrull2
    @jasonstrull2 6 месяцев назад +116

    “Cancel your enemies” 😅

    • @paulgemme6056
      @paulgemme6056 6 месяцев назад

      Without faith it is impossible to please God/Jesus Christ. One must be born again, born of the Spirit (Holy Spirit), born from above. read the gospel of John chapter three if honestly want to know the truth. One cannot know the truth if he or she rejects the truth. Jesus Christ is the truth, the way and the life no one will escape hell accept by grace through faith in the blood Christ shed and the finished work that Christ completed on the cross. The Pharisees were the most religious men on the planet in Christ's day and Christ Jesus told them their father was the devil because they didn't accept the truth even though the truth was standing right in front of them.
      Hebrews 11:6
      But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

    • @mr.grantsartexplorations1014
      @mr.grantsartexplorations1014 6 месяцев назад +1

      “And curse those who bless you” …so accurate.

    • @paulgemme6056
      @paulgemme6056 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@mr.grantsartexplorations1014 Matthew 5:44
      But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
      -Jesus Christ

    • @mr.grantsartexplorations1014
      @mr.grantsartexplorations1014 6 месяцев назад

      Amen

  • @princefallthatway1970
    @princefallthatway1970 6 месяцев назад +305

    "Will live again through this mail in ballet," smoked me 😂

    • @leabreskovac8790
      @leabreskovac8790 6 месяцев назад +2

      could you explain it to me please? 😭

    • @keeganmurphy1
      @keeganmurphy1 6 месяцев назад

      @@leabreskovac8790because in America they had dead peoples names that ‘voted’ the year sleepy Joe won. That’s why they want mail in ballots with no ID 😂

    • @keeganmurphy1
      @keeganmurphy1 6 месяцев назад +8

      @@leabreskovac8790 so he’ll ‘live again’ by voting 😂

    • @JonahMarksMusic
      @JonahMarksMusic 6 месяцев назад

      💃

    • @hayleyberry3437
      @hayleyberry3437 6 месяцев назад

      @@leabreskovac8790 voter fraud

  • @kojikicklighter371
    @kojikicklighter371 6 месяцев назад +180

    Doesn't he play Satan, too? Such range!

    • @nocx4592
      @nocx4592 6 месяцев назад +49

      Wdym "too"? He was playing Satan in this skit.
      (2 Cor. 11:14)

    • @hardworkingslacker7233
      @hardworkingslacker7233 6 месяцев назад +16

      @@nocx4592 Good catch!

    • @BehavingBradly
      @BehavingBradly 6 месяцев назад +27

      Looks like "Woke Jesus" is just Satan in disguise

    • @veganconservative1109
      @veganconservative1109 6 месяцев назад

      Woke Jesus IS Satan.

    • @HorySmokes
      @HorySmokes 6 месяцев назад +3

      Is that Salty Cracker?

  • @charlesmaas3984
    @charlesmaas3984 6 месяцев назад +424

    this is probably what the bible will look like in the next 20 years

    • @WilliamSaverino
      @WilliamSaverino 6 месяцев назад +50

      Pretty sure we DON'T have that much time left.

    • @SeaJay_Oceans
      @SeaJay_Oceans 6 месяцев назад

      Sorry, Citizen. The Bible is banned in USA for violation of the antisemitism laws.
      Stop the Hate of Moneychangers ! Protect their tables from peaceful protests.
      Report to your nearest democrat Rededucation Center. For Democracy !

    • @sue8344
      @sue8344 6 месяцев назад +16

      There’s a video around of a female priest leading the congregation in a gender neutral or queer or something , creed.

    • @NPC-HonoraryRooftopKorean
      @NPC-HonoraryRooftopKorean 6 месяцев назад +10

      @sue8344
      The Sparkle Creed if I ‘member.

    • @philbob99
      @philbob99 6 месяцев назад

      ​Correct-a-mundo........ @@WilliamSaverino

  • @IndianTechno569g
    @IndianTechno569g Месяц назад +3

    Don't mock Jesus
    You sow what you reap

  • @warmsunnytoday4535
    @warmsunnytoday4535 6 месяцев назад +312

    I would pay the $12 movie ticket price if you make a Woke Jesus movie. 90 minutes of Woke Jesus oneliners.

  • @cherylmockotr
    @cherylmockotr 6 месяцев назад +92

    Poor Jesus, getting all stressed out trying to remember all the genders. So brave. So stunning.

  • @UltraGalaxyify
    @UltraGalaxyify 6 месяцев назад +98

    The mail-in ballot killed me!

  • @willowtree-qd2de
    @willowtree-qd2de 8 дней назад +3

    I do not think Jesus should be used as a tool for political advertisement or “propaganda” as it were.

  • @geggyboy1269
    @geggyboy1269 6 месяцев назад +55

    "Here's a chart to show you who your enemy is" 😂😂😂

    • @sharonabbott9588
      @sharonabbott9588 6 месяцев назад +3

      That one busted me out, too!😂😂

    • @ZilogBob
      @ZilogBob 6 месяцев назад +3

      I expected a reference to Venn diagrams.

  • @thomasmaughan4798
    @thomasmaughan4798 6 месяцев назад +125

    Amazed that your Jesus managed to pull this off without breaking into laughter.

    • @jeremyjohnson2129
      @jeremyjohnson2129 6 месяцев назад

      I bet it took many takes to do it all with a straight face.

    • @BobbieSmith46
      @BobbieSmith46 6 месяцев назад +12

      But how many takes? 😊

    • @Charmayne7
      @Charmayne7 6 месяцев назад +8

      He's a great actor.

    • @anonygent
      @anonygent 6 месяцев назад +2

      The magic of 87 takes.

  • @hectatusbreakfastus6106
    @hectatusbreakfastus6106 6 месяцев назад +150

    Legend has it woke Jesus is still listing off pronouns and genders 2000 years after this was filmed.

    • @JC-dz5ur
      @JC-dz5ur 5 месяцев назад +2

      What would his pronoun be?

    • @LeReubzRic
      @LeReubzRic 5 месяцев назад +5

      ​@@JC-dz5ureverything all at once

  • @emilyvillamil
    @emilyvillamil 2 месяца назад +10

    If Jesus fell into Satan's temptation:

    • @granand
      @granand 15 дней назад +1

      If you missed, Satan is now working in Walmart, he could not cope with the competition. (It was other video). Palestine guy outbid Satan.

  • @Cal_Valjean
    @Cal_Valjean 6 месяцев назад +75

    Dang, babylon bee upping their sketch comedy game. Well done.
    Considerable improvement in acting, nuisances, shots, and of course writing.
    Bravo, mad ups, and sick dude.

  • @homesteadgamer1257
    @homesteadgamer1257 6 месяцев назад +134

    All laughs aside, he would make a GREAT Jesus in a New Testament film.

    • @R.N.19
      @R.N.19 6 месяцев назад +10

      The Book is way better

    • @homesteadgamer1257
      @homesteadgamer1257 6 месяцев назад +9

      @@R.N.19 But I'm talking about the next film that is made about Jesus, he totally has a Jesus look to him.

    • @Katie_NC
      @Katie_NC 6 месяцев назад +2

      Jonathan Roumie has that in the bag already, including his heritage.

    • @homesteadgamer1257
      @homesteadgamer1257 6 месяцев назад

      @@Katie_NC Omg. Seriously? The role of Jesus in a movie is not limited to any one person. You realize that, right? My personal favorite Jesus portrayal is by John Foss.

    • @R.N.19
      @R.N.19 6 месяцев назад

      @@Katie_NC His heritage? His father is Egyptian and his mother Irish. Jesus was an Israeli Jew

  • @gysgtholpp
    @gysgtholpp 6 месяцев назад +167

    My grandparents also voted from the grave for Biden... I was shocked because they were committed republicans.

    • @nuancecontraire
      @nuancecontraire 6 месяцев назад +15

      Anyone can change their opinions and views, even in the afterlife! Wow, I didnt know USPS could deliver to and from Heaven! Amazing

    • @yelloworangered
      @yelloworangered 6 месяцев назад +5

      I guess they spent some time with Woke Jesus in heaven.

  • @1Nida
    @1Nida День назад +1

    This really hurts me to watch, knowing how people honestly think Jesus is like this.

  • @momo_genX
    @momo_genX 6 месяцев назад +47

    This is the best, Babylon Bee! I am convinced you all are for real for real Christians, because no fake Christian would ever be so hilariously sacrilegious to prove an important point. Bravo, Babylon Bee! Fearlessness and Satire!

  • @Scripture-Man
    @Scripture-Man 4 месяца назад +663

    Jesus forgot to state Their pronouns.

    • @MichaelGreen-dm2ov
      @MichaelGreen-dm2ov 4 месяца назад +8

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @KingoftheJuice18
      @KingoftheJuice18 3 месяца назад +8

      @@MichaelGreen-dm2ov Paul rejected gender as a truly significant category. "There is no male and female-for all of you are one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28).

    • @kevinportiz971
      @kevinportiz971 3 месяца назад +10

      Oh yes yes! The pronouns. Whatever you want. Make them all up.

    • @lucaskohn5457
      @lucaskohn5457 3 месяца назад +8

      If woke Jesus made a speech listing all the genders it would take more time rhan resurrecting...

    • @KingoftheJuice18
      @KingoftheJuice18 3 месяца назад

      @@lucaskohn5457 Apparently you’ve never read the four gospels.

  • @ericsfishingadventures4433
    @ericsfishingadventures4433 6 месяцев назад +140

    The words woke and Jesus are incompatible, but somehow the bee makes the memeockery! 🤣

    • @mustang607
      @mustang607 6 месяцев назад +6

      Although I suspect that the woked will try to diametrically combine two opposites, like Jesus and Karl Marx, and accelerate the contradictions in order to create more chaotic opportunities, which they use to gain even more power. This tactic has been part of their game plan.

    • @zchris87v80
      @zchris87v80 6 месяцев назад +2

      I don't buy into the whole religion thing as I was raised catholic (that should say enough), but I'm siding with the religious folks on this one.

    • @winterlantern5695
      @winterlantern5695 6 месяцев назад

      ​@@zchris87v80 Hate Xtianity yet leftists support Iss slam and say it's the best and most fem inist religion

    • @borginburkes1819
      @borginburkes1819 6 месяцев назад

      @@mustang607how are Marx and Jesus opposites?

    • @mustang607
      @mustang607 6 месяцев назад

      @@borginburkes1819 Marxism is an inversion of Christianity.

  • @yaminissmoorthy9235
    @yaminissmoorthy9235 Месяц назад +2

    I'm a Hindu Indian and I totally love the sarcasm in this woke Jesus video. Too good.😂😂

  • @saltyarmyislegion4876
    @saltyarmyislegion4876 6 месяцев назад +129

    "Lazuras will live again...through this mail in ballot" 😂💀

    • @jonathanrocha2275
      @jonathanrocha2275 5 месяцев назад

      To be honest, I don’t get it

    • @ramonmirandaiii5726
      @ramonmirandaiii5726 5 месяцев назад

      Who we kidding , Lazuras voted In 2020

    • @a.baciste1733
      @a.baciste1733 5 месяцев назад

      ​@@jonathanrocha2275Reference to dead people's vote counted in elections, through possible fraud using mail in ballot in their name.

  • @slappy1234567
    @slappy1234567 6 месяцев назад +733

    Antifa Jesus

    • @popkxw
      @popkxw 6 месяцев назад +72

      "Free Palestine!" Oh wait, that didn't exist back then because jews are much older and they are the original owners of the land.

    • @peterreily1490
      @peterreily1490 6 месяцев назад +5

      If that’s the case, call me Harrod Pilot.

    • @peterreily1490
      @peterreily1490 6 месяцев назад

      And please send AK Jesus.
      We shall follow the teachings of Brandon Herrera. Defeating communism using their own tools against them.

    • @mustang607
      @mustang607 6 месяцев назад +14

      ANTI First Amendment?

    • @Pheramix
      @Pheramix 6 месяцев назад +3

      no, he didn't act violent

  • @honestannie9492
    @honestannie9492 6 месяцев назад +174

    The actor who plays Jesus deserves an ACADEMY AWARD!!
    Also the writers ✍️ of course. I can never get tired of watching this…it’s absolute satire at its best! ❤❤❤😂😂😂😂😂

    • @dirtyjersey4672
      @dirtyjersey4672 5 месяцев назад

      He looks like Salty Cr@[ker 🤣!

    • @shannondore
      @shannondore 2 месяца назад

      I agree. The guy playing Jesus was awesome. Perfect comic timing. He was hilarious!!😂

  • @TheFourthWinchester
    @TheFourthWinchester 3 месяца назад +3

    This is pretty much America to the world.

  • @RationalJJ
    @RationalJJ 6 месяцев назад +84

    “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Remember their pronouns.”

  • @donoimdono2702
    @donoimdono2702 6 месяцев назад +62

    "Lazarus will live again. through this mail in ballot." 🤣😂🤣😂 I LOL'd on that one. my colleagues at work looked at me oddly.

  • @CADPond
    @CADPond 6 месяцев назад +88

    That "Lazarus would live again, through this mail in ballot" caught me off-guard. 😂

  • @Amanda-d4e9s
    @Amanda-d4e9s 13 дней назад +1

    Oh, Good Lord! I needed the laughs, thanks. Can we not be so serious all the time, please? Thanks for boosting my mental health, BB.

  • @EthanPatrick-d9x
    @EthanPatrick-d9x 6 месяцев назад +99

    Support of a new health care bill for insurance is next level trolling if you say you're going to heal someone.

    • @marissashantez6051
      @marissashantez6051 6 месяцев назад +10

      You missed it. Not only is he not healed, but he is now forced to purchase insurance wether he can afford it or not. Which is pretty good likeness of Obamacare. Most poor people were better off before Obamacare with their state medicaid.