When You're Betrayed | Jordan Peterson
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- Опубликовано: 6 апр 2023
- The video "When You're Betrayed" featuring Jordan Peterson explores the complex emotions and thoughts that arise when a person experiences betrayal. Peterson, a renowned clinical psychologist and professor, shares his insights on how to deal with the aftermath of betrayal without resorting to complaining or bitterness.
Throughout the video, Peterson emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for one's own emotions and actions. He argues that it is natural to feel hurt and angry when betrayed, but it is ultimately up to the individual to decide how to respond. He encourages viewers to examine their own reactions to betrayal and to take control of their own lives.
In addition to discussing personal responsibility, Peterson also offers practical advice for how to move forward after being betrayed. He suggests focusing on personal growth and development, finding meaning in difficult situations, and seeking support from trusted friends and family.
Overall, "When You're Betrayed" is a thought-provoking and inspiring video that encourages viewers to take control of their emotions and actions in the face of betrayal. Peterson's insights and advice provide a roadmap for how to navigate the challenging emotions that arise in the aftermath of betrayal, and how to emerge from the experience stronger and more resilient than ever before.
I’m living this right now. Love for everyone watching this for the same reasons. Hoping we all get through this without becoming monsters ourselves ❤
Not easy.
@@joannecraighead Same💯🎯🙏
Same
Amén
I’m going through it right now as well, I feel so hurt and disappointed.
That is exactly what betrayal feels like. It’s horrible and dark.
Super empty
I am now used to betrayal and failure. I plan for it. People are very disappointing.
What happened?
You're right. The world is dangerous, n so many people understand nothing about the darkness that is interwoven into the fabric of our lives. However, the main problem is you, if you desire to regain control.
You are attracted to traitors, cuz it feels familiar and safe to you. That's how this works. You had shit people around you who treated you like an object, not a person, n u jump into relationships that FEEL like that.
The Monke Brain hopes it'll turn out different, but it most likely won't. Set better boundaries. You're doing good so far, but also, don't forget the good in people, not the traitors... but in you and in people in general. Someone below said something good, and yet naive. It's naivete is solved by combining it with your perspective friend.
"It's not on me that these people chose to betray me. It's a reflection of them. I am defined by my actions, n the way I choose to respond." Don't let the traitors steal your light. Burn that flame brightly, master your shadow, n conquer the darkness seeking to swallow you as you create good spaces n relationships.
Be prepared, but don't stop building bridges.
Damn, I feel this
@@insaini87met a friend, he and me did a start up, it failed, we met this other girl, all of us did another start up along with a 4th and 5th member. I did the entire Frontend, and thr 5thmember did all the backend. Turns out after we were finished, they revealed the truth. The girl was Actually the original guys brother, and the 4yh guy turns out to be an old friend who betrayed me in the past and I blocked him. They took all my code, everything. But the worst part is that the original guy and the girl were considered my best friends by me. A year and a half friendship down the drain
And yes, along with me, the 5th member was kicked as well, They basically revealed it all mocking ms. Turns out the original guy, his name is, patlow, convincing the girl, her name is grace into joining this manipulation party. She was invited to keep my emotions on a leash according to them. Me and pat used to have tons upon tons of arguments. And she would always sway me from leaving the start up, it was all part of their manipulation scheme
That's is why I studied psychology , so that I can spot people's incongruences even before they can realise them , and that is a super power .
Did studying it work
Same. My ex betrayed me but I ignored the red flags. That it would be in the future that he’d exhibit those traits worse but he was currently doing it lol
My whole reality was shattered
Welcome
Agree. Reality shatters. The abuse changes the brain but you can recover little by little. Going no contact is tough but necessary. It is a start. Be brave.
Jordan always outlines the catastrophising mind brilliantly well
I’m legit going through this rn and it’s actually so nice to see I’m not the only one in the comment section
What happened?
Not alone. But sort of. Sucks!
Misery loves company, eh?
I thought I was listening to my thoughts out loud….lol then I realized dang my thinking voice doesn’t sound like that. He certainly did hit the nail on the head.
"be careful who you trust soldier, the people you know can hurt you the most" -simon -ghost -riley
Exactly what happened to me. Thank you for putting into words for me Jordan.
What happened?
Yup
Exactly what is is like. Exactly
This just happened to me yesterday. I'm handling it better than I thought I would, but holy crap, it's still really hard.
Yes, absolutely accurate and apparently women feel betrayal far more deeply than men
What. Thats a ridiculous assumption
I made a great sacrifice to get to my beloved niece's wedding. I was the only blood relative she had, other than her parents and sister. And she didn't want me in a single wedding photograph. That was when I realised my narcissistic family had secretly rejected me. It was one of the worst days of my life. Listening to JP on betrayal has been very comforting. His expression 'violation of kinship' put the pain into some sort of containment.
I have experienced the worst rejection from my own father who wanted to give me away , a brother who beats me up, a sister who blocked me from WhatsApp because I married an African man.
My ex husband left me for a gal half my age . However I have healed from all that because Jesus showed me in a vision that He protected me from being given away when I was only 5 years old because I was never given away although my father almost gave me away as he was a Chinese man and didn’t like daughters.
Forgiveness is the only way to live and I forgave all my family members because like Jesus said before He died for the sins of the world is “ Forgive them father for they do not know what they are doing”. Only God will never leave or forsake you. The bible says ..
Do not put your trust in men who are fickle minded and who will die but put your trust in God who loves you unconditionally and will not die… but Jesus died for us so that His pure blood can wash away our fleshly sin .
No human is perfect . God is the only one that is able to love us perfectly because he is not a sinful human like us .
You were a neice, its not customary to have extended kin in family wedding photos.
@@homemanager1724 Get it right! I was the aunt!
This is exactly how it feels 100%
That’s why I have a therapist and we talk about trauma caused by a narcissist who blindsides you. She helps me plan and map out a recovery process so I can move on 🙏 because it’s not about me but about what happened to me 😢 my value is not what happened to me but what I am willing to do to recover the person I use to be.
It's different when it's your parents that betray you.
I went through this thank God I'm getting over it
You got company.
Absolutely right. Total betrayal.
What goes around, comes around. Enough said.
FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCE, I'VE SAID THIS TO MYSELF........YES!!!
This is exactly what I feel right now
Been there. The good news is that you'll find your footing and even though you won't trust like you did in the past, you will trust you better, and that is better. The road to get there kinda sucks though.
Welcome!
Me too
Sometimes I think if all the betrayed people can create a city for ourselves so that people who want to trust don't have to face the same thing ever again. That's what is called utopia for us 😅
I trust myself if someone betrays me I have the choice of forgiveness or letting go - it’s a reflection on them and my actions are a reflection on me…I don’t think I’m different because of it…
No amount of confidence, self esteem and self love you have. When you have encountered the ultimate betrayal. The journey to yhe underworld.You'd be surprised how much the brain is more in control of us then we ourselves do.
@@RaxhealUrbalejoYeah, I have been there and indeed it can absorb your thoughts and your life. I used to think of me as a " mentally strong" " I have the willpower and intelligence" to govern my brain. After what you say about the ultimate betrayal , it feels like if your brain have been liquefied.
He explained this so perfectly well.
Just spent 6 months being lied to and cheated on daily and the girl is 4 months pregnant with possibly my kid and I’m just now finding out everything. This is exactly where I am.
Loyalty is Rare. 💔Wife cheated through the whole 28 year marriage. I just met her last year😕
Family betrayed me for more money 💰. Brother in on it sister I stay with and my other sister living in her household that wanted to see me fall. Heartbroken
❤
This is what betrayal is like with a narcissist especially. It’s taken me a long time to get through that.
Wow! He hit that right on target. That is exactly what I feel like. Betrayal from someone you thought would never put you in harms way or lie to you, it's devastating 💔.
I met someone that I fell in love under the presumption we had the same intentions…it was all fabricated and I am left with nothing and but questions. But closure….is there ever enough of such a thing?
Love took me too..Well I thought it was love. I'm sorry you are going through this. It's a terrible felling. I wonder will I overcome this feeling
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My ex is now dating my female friend who I considered as my sister. Found that out Sunday, confronted them yesterday. now I’m in tears, not because of sadness but pure rage.
My wife had her best friends all ghost her right before our wedding. We were never givin a reason why and they completely cut contact. It has made my wife suicidal, confused and hurt. I am looking for any way to help her out of that, she didnt deserve what they did to her and its hard for her to let go of the years of friendship that they had. If anyone has any advise please comment
I am really sorry to hear that. I can relate to her cuz the people i thought were good friends of mine also left me as soon as school ended. I think she needs to know that most people will cut you out of their lives as soon as they realise that you are no longer useful for them. Tell her to focus on herself cuz the happiness and joy she is looking for is already within her.
She is WORTHY of finding good people.
I wish both of you lots of happiness ❤️.
She shouldn’t punish herself for someone else faults. It might be a blessing that these fake friends disappeared from her life.
All her friends ghosted her ... there’s more to that story. Why would you post that on a headliner that says betrayed. Did she love someone and married you for other reasons... That’s the most obvious explanation. They disagreed with her marrying you and decided not to be fake and pretend to be happy for the two of you at the wedding.
The more I read stuff like this. I get why humans act like this. Hold onto your wife because it means that they were hating on her the entire time and sought to bring her down at her best moments because they hated watching her win so much. You got a winner. And they were showing their hand. Take it as a blessing because what if they stayed and tried to sabotage yall down the road. All friends and no success < no fake friends and having everything you really want. We learn as children how to move through stages but somehow adulthood becomes this 20-30 year extended time period. I feel like we should have new experiences every 4 years like changing presidencies. And not get too caught up when people leave and exit our lives. I’m proud to say I’ve had longevity in my old friendships but once betrayal entered I’m equally if not more happy for the opportunities to meet a new version of myself that didn’t exist when I met them and the requisite new friendships that come with it. It’s like you’re becoming a black belt. And your friends wanna stay on the orange level. So they crab out. You and your wife will meet the people that are on the level you’re going to, not the level you were on
Does one ever recover from betrayal from someone so near and apparently dear to them?
Clear, honest, mature Open communication is the Life Blood of every relationship. ❤
Here's my story if someone can/wants to relate:
Im a second year med student and two years ago when i was still in school i met two poeple(a guy and a girl) we became best friends, or at least i thought we were. They were really dear to me. Still, i always felt it was a little bit one sided, because sometimes they would've just made a plan without me, and if i found out about it, they would just say "we thought you would come". We three made it to the same univ. But after we succeeded the first year we had the choice to candidate for another university who would be less costly. I succeeded the admission test, but the two of them told me they didn't so i choosed to stay in the same school with them. Little did i know that they fooled me. And now they are both in the other university, and im still in the first one who costs the most, with a deep wound in my heart.
Sorry to hear that , but it seems you betrayed yourself first by not respecting your own school choice. Always try to stay true to yourself, and good people will follow.
Please know this...these people will be busy playing games with other people right now. At least you are out of it. Learn to spot the signs of narcissism, lots on RUclips, then you will be protected in the future. I wish I had known earlier in my life. It would have saved me years of struggle.
❤❤❤
VERY WELL STATED.
Perhaps my fave thing I've ever heard this man say.
You can rebuild out of this knowing more about yourself and truth than if it didn't happen so in many ways it can be a blessing
This is 🎯💯👌
God bless you
and
thank you
Exactly!
👋 right here
So true
Journey to the underworld, my life for the last 3 years
And such goes the AAAD (Anxiety, Abandonment, Anguish, Despair) cycle. Necessary steps/stages for existential authenticity for becoming an actualized human. Most experience it by happenstance; the few who consciously engage it, eventually surmount it or succumb in the effort.
"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
Excerpt from The Road Not Taken, by Robert Frost
Standing stronger
Betrayal can hurt but I wonder did you betray yourself when you ignored the betrayal
Being betrayed is being reminded you have no control over anyone or anything but yourself. Being betrayed doesn't reflect on who you are but you should learn from it. Doesn't mean it'll stop it from happening but maybe it will help❤
Well said! ❤
Yes I going through this right now. My ex took everything we build together and I never would have thought he would do me this way. We struggled to build this business together, that I invested the most. He took it all even the website I built. He changed all the passwords and have the equipment in another state. Small claims would cost me money that I don't have anymore because I invested most of my money.
I'm so sorry:😞
Going through this right now 😢
Perfect
And that feeling is a journey to the underworld…and that’s worth knowing!😮
I felt this way about someone who I knew for 30 years, and when I had my marriage gathering dinner, but I could only invite eight people because of Covid, she tried to invite someone when I didn’t invite, and I explained to her that that was the next one, and she said well, never mind I’ll just go with the other person. She knew that girl for six months. Broke my heart and knew that someone who I’ve been there for and who has been in my life for so long and been there for me, would you someone she knew for six months who would never do or bethe type of friend I was and that I wanted to be for the rest of my life. I let her go and moved on.
Yes, been there..betrayal and divorce puts you through the mill......
Someone pretended to by my best friend for 10 years just because they wanted to hurt me, it has made me think that ALL my actual friends are like that, I am still trying to pick up the pieces and move on and find new friends that actually care
Bro I feel you, for me it was something similar, but it was two years. Bro even had his sister emotionally manipulate me
Doing this can be so very hard because "who to really trust".
Me and my ex just broke up a month ago she is now dating my female friend who I considered as my sister. Found that out Sunday, confronted them yesterday. now l'm in tears, not because of sadness but pure rage.
What happens to the soul when it enters the underworld? I've been betrayed by almost everyone in my life. Even had some snake like you speak of that set out to destroy every piece of me. Even though I showed her what a true friend was with being very giving, loving and accepting. She wanted everything I had. She won. You'd be surprised no matter how confident, outgoing, uplifting person. When someone or people commit an act so devastating you may have no control over how your brain will react. I have lived a life of cruelty and had awful things happen ever since birth. I've always felt like things never bothered me. Until this last betrayal, I haven't left my house for almost 5 years, no longer can look in the mirror or enjoy being alive. No matter how much I try to do something I become paralyzed. Just know this can happen to anyone
That soul have to search God and its ultimate meaning in order to be rescued. Otherwise that soul may stay in the underworld world.
Thank you for your response. You may have saved a life@@VitorOliveEOT
@@VitorOliveEOT I've lived a life as many things and I believe I know my purpose. That would be a healer. For instance. When I was a promotional model, one event without knowing until I touched someone who didn't speak and who hadn't allowed physical touch not even from her husband for 40 plus years. Without thinking of another's boundaries I gave her a hug. The look of absolute dread encompassed her whole being. Alarmed at the reaction. I had reacted with a huge apology for offending her violating her boundaries. After her husband explained her condition to me. The second day of the convention her husband came to me and I asked if I scared his wife away as I didn't see her by his side. His eye swelled up and he said Thank you, Taken back Thank you for. I haven't felt the touch of my wife or heard the melody of her voice in over 40 years until last night. You want to know where she is right now, she out there talking and hugging everyone thats willing. You have given my wife life and purpose again. I was in absolute disbelief until she I heard her say thank you and a huv that ive never felt before. I didn't think of it as anything until around the time I found out I was pregnant. I was in such a horrible place in my life. I broke down and prayed. As I have lived a life of helping everyone around me, even at the cost of myselt. I was a caregiver and could find work, my relationship and self wotth was just crumbling. I also was told I could never bare children. So I'm breaking down praying to be shown my purpose or take me away Father. Father I can't bare children, I can't find work and I my will is crumbling. Show me my purpose or please let me come to you Father. I kid you not a few days later I find myself with positive pregnancy results. That day had me look over my whole life to see how much betrayal, abandonment and pain I have experienced was all in his plan for me. I have given the best parts of me to other who were hurting to heal those parts even at the cost of myself. So, from your statement I can only see that I am meant to be here in the underworld. As I've already found my purpose and probably have finished my mission.
@@RaxhealUrbalejothanks for sharing your experience and wisdom :)
Alas, when raised by narcissistic/psychos… it truly is Life Lost 😞
My wife cheated on me for 10 years.
My heart was crushed.
My wife didn't care in the least.
Those were the darkest days of my life.
I never really knew my ex husband. He did say long lasting effects. He used my house for collateral for a $100,000 loan. I thought it was in my name. He forged my name on loans and my ira account. He mentally and verbally abused me one time he beat me. I did try to fight. Nothing happened. He died last year. How do you forgive someone who left you destroyed your life. I just trusted him 😢. I just want my life back. Lost my house because he didn’t pay the loan back. Please help me 😢
Spot on. So how do we fully come back from this?
😢
OK, so I did this to my wife. We were both shocked and we both felt this way.
2 years later we are still together, we have finally re-established trust.
What hasn't been addressed and never will be, is why I betrayed her in the first place.
I betrayed her because I felt exacly this way, betrayed. I thought she was going to put in the effort of acting like a wife, but years into marriage I am pulling all the weight. I feel betrayed because I have to do everything. This is still the case, I just pull all the weight and don't hold any expectations. It's sad but it's the only way to die knowing I tried to be the best husband I could be.
This is how it affects the brain: but something he said at the end stands out. It’s from the underworld. For example: if somebody tries to kill your child do you necessarily need to know their psyche to stop the threat? Or is your instinct to to get them out of harms way? Well that’s what betrayal seeks to do. To get you sucked into evil vortexes instead of avoiding at all costs once you know what it looks like
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Omigoodness
Pretty much
❤❤❤❤
👍
Uh, no. It's much simpler, or actually, there could be several explanations:
1. People change. Well, not really, but sometimes life makes them grow more in one direction versus another. It's the same tree, but its evil side was fostered more. So in time, you became annoying or meaningless to them, etc etc.
2. You never interact with a person as THEIR WHOLE, only a part of them. So they were all you thought they were, but they also had a fickle/evil/whatever other quality to them, and eventually it showed.
3. I'm not even gonna mention other scenarios, like willfully hiding their evil, or YOU interacting with who you IMAGINED them to be, etc.
Accept that you never know who the person really is, fully. No one ever knows. For 5 years, I had a best friend who even told me that they never felt closer to anyone, not even to their ex-partner during their years together (which incidentally was 5 years). I DID note the duration, and that it ended bc my best friend cheated on that partner. Still, i never thought the bestie would just drop me once the bestie found a romantic partner. Like, drop me. Casually fade out of my life, without regret or apology. Did it shock me? Yes. But i remembered all those details and figured this is is a person with qualities and also major flaws. It doesn't negate our time together.
Also I know that the way I am, loyal with deep feelings, is NOT how anyone else is, on this planet. I know that's probably not true but it might as well be, so for all practical purposes, it is. Look, people are shit, okay? That's all you need to know. 😃😈 Works for me.
Happened to me
Betrayers fool themselves. Their perpetrators may be naive, but the authenticity of the perpetrators allows them to remain true to themselves. Betrayers can only go as far as others allow them. Who is the fool? People only show you what they want you.
For 30 years I thought I knew my husband . I didn't . He lived a double life . The betrayal in every possible way has been devastating to my mind and body even 8 years on . While I've found some peace I suffer fibromyalgia now I never had before .
That's why I study this thing's I'll not let someone else destroy me again or lie to me again but I'll not Also be bad I'll use it for a good bath without hurting anyone's
I’ve seen this like 3 years ago
Fact(s)
HOW DO YOU HEAL FROM THIS AND MOVE FORWARD? I CAN'T FIND ANY ANSWERS YET... IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR AND I STILL FEEL SO LOST....
It does NOT mean that I Am someone Else when another betrays me. I Am who I Am because the Lord resides in me and Christ is my defender. What it does mean is that you no longer have access to me and not because I do not forgive you, but because I no longer trust you! I dont cast my pearls before swine!
Exactly! I’m Christian too and the last year has been so difficult with multiple major betrayals from family and the church I was a member of for many years. Some of them knew each other. It was a huge mess and lots of lost meaningful relationships. To make it worse, my reactions to it was shameful and humiliating at times. So much grief and loss. And people who don’t understand or don’t know the details try to make it about forgiveness. Not at all! It’s about not being able to trust. I sense it’s more about pride and people trying to look good socially. Very painful. The good thing is the Lord is always there.
Going through this my ex best friend, I thought he was my brother
It’s not mythological- but spiritual.
Sounds like my life rn. Would hate to trust again because I have been betrayed by everyone I ever cared about due to being extremely naive for my whole life. I am 25 have been patrolled and controlled by helicopter parents for 24 years and I finally ran away and have barely kinda escaped with no clear way forward and all the residual mental trauma left over.
I try to help people they dont want my help then wtf is life to stay on the counxh and watch hulu tv all day? No i have to help people because it is to be kind and if someone betrays me i will leave them alone ill find someone to be kind and happier with them
If a bunny rabbit hops it's happy clueless self into a dark cave and is able to see the light at the end of the tunnel if there is one and come out on the other side alive, it will still be a bunny rabbit probably a little bit more wise. How can it turn into something other than what it has already always been?
When I’m betrayed…If it’s you who betrayed me, run. Run as fast as you can, as far from me as you can, for the whole rest of your miserable life.
The betrayal cause the end of the relationship but destroy persons and souls !!! It’s much worst!
Mind reality and my memories are gone.
Apologies🙏🏻. Maybe something was said too straight forward. I believe all we need is mutual understanding and respect towards one another.
My story (partner of 14 years) is the archetype of this thing. If you don't believe in possessions you'll never figure it out.
It’s a downward spiral from the inside out.
I hope whoevers home this is doesnt show up anytime soon because i really like this house
Brought to you by the guy who rally’s the incels to be more angry, more determined not to converse w/ women who are built for conversation…
What!! that’s the opposite
Osiris
I'm not betrayed at all, to be in betrayal, you need to be in a relationship, which is not the case of me.
Wish I can send this to the person but I won’t, I know he won’t care.
Read Scott Peck's "People of the Lie!"
Story of my fucked up existence.
But then what
No you never knew them
My soon x husband found pleasure in betraying me and leaving for the affair person.
That's why hindus discovered moksha
This is so pointless,
Drink some water. Congering all those questions is a symptom of dehydration.