Ellie Grace Banks I give birth to my son in California Modesto Kaiser hospital. My delivery was so difficult and painful 😣 after giving birth my whole body was so swelled and painful that even a small and thin fabric that came in touch with my body made me cry of pain. I was all alone and my husband wasn’t granted off from work. I Was in hospital for 6 days and each second I cried of pain and my eyes were always in search for someone to come and help me with my baby. He is now going to be 17 months old but the pain I go through still makes me cry and depressed
In Nigeria confinement is calle "Umugwu". Your mother comes and takes care of you and the baby along with other female relatives. The mother focuses on feeding the baby and resting. It's basic common sense.
Isolation for the first 30 days makes sense, baby is most at risk of infection - especially in a highly populated area. Mother is also at risk due to post-partum blood loss
Makes sense back in the day when most countries didn't have proper waterways and sewage systems and cholera and the plague and stuff spread everywhere to isolate yourself and your baby from others and hopefully the spread of infectious diseases..? Maybe not so much in the 21st century.. Though China has lots of air pollution so hmm..
Even if waterways are clean, they can easily fall sick from people who are sick and don't wear masks or anything to protect as much of their germs from newborns & mom.
ParisianPrincess it’s good for babies to be exposed to different types of environments so that their immune system gets use to it and gets strong if they are sheltered and over protected they will get sick later on
I found this really beautiful where woman are being taking care of. Nowadays women who just given birth are back on their feet. Cooking , cleaning running after other kids. Hardly any help from people around them. This is just beautiful to see!!
Laura Ereku You think it’s beautiful to discouraged to feed, dress, bathe or meaningfully interact with your brand new baby during its first month of life whilst being told not to wash yourself, brush your teeth, go outside, drink anything cold, and wear coats and hats even if it’s hot and apparently being isolated from your partner? Beautiful?
My husband is Chinese, we lived in America at the time of our daughter's birth, it's really impossible to stay home the first month as they want you to go to Doctor's appointments the first week. I went out a few times but the baby stayed home with his parents (who traveled all the way from China to help us). His parents took care of the cooking and cleaning and the baby when I needed to rest, I ate some interesting traditional dishes that were supposed to help with postpartum and breastfeeding. Overall they didn't pressure me to do anything traditional that I didn't want to, like the not washing bit, I took a shower the 2nd day in the hospital (requested by the hospital for post c-section). I feel we have the expectations on ourselves in America to do everything, be supermoms, which was honestly what I felt a lot during the first month, pressure on myself. The other disruption I felt was I wanted to just be alone with my husband and baby, and sometimes felt that wasn't really happening. I think next baby will be a bit easier as I'll know what I need, what boundaries I need to set. Overall, I was very fortunate to have such helpful in-laws. My parents both passed away years ago, otherwise I feel my mom would have helped as well.
It's not to this extreme, but it's really similar in my East African culture. My mom said she didn't take any of her babies out for 30-40 days, you shave the hair off to ensure it grows back nice and healthy, and the mom is pampered during those set days. Crazy how similar cultures are.
In Ghana too not sure if it applies to all the tribes. It's normally 40 days until the baby and mother are strong. The baby has a naming ceremony at that stage normally. You can shower and bath though. Lol
In America you're expected to bounce right up the next day and look like a Victoria's Secret model with NO help from a professional team of experts 🙄 Confinement sounds grrrrreat!
I had a premature baby, the baby was in the hospital for 4 months. So for me it was like confinement. The nurses looked after the baby while I had a good night sleep every night and came into hospital to feed, bath etc. it was good as I was helped in how to look after the baby. I think this is really good.
how much you paid them? it was incredibly expensive, wasn't it? one day of the costs you spent to the hospital could pay a Chinese confinement couple of weeks.
I had no support from anyone, my sons father drank and went out all hours. I was left in the house with a baby, weak from blood loss and having no one there. My mother would have helped me more if it wasn’t for my selfish, alcoholic father who demanded all her time and energy. 23 years later we are both living together supporting each other. My son has left home and my father is living somewhere else.
Hey there well done to both off you there’s nothing like your mammy your so lucky I brought two daughters up by myself my husband lived with us but drank like a fish and a dad that drank like a fish too my mammy died shortly after my youngest was born and I know that I would never have stayed with my husband I would have left him and moved in me my daughters and my mammy I’m so jealous of you and your wee mammy god bless you both stay safe and I wish you much happiness x
Is it slavery if they're paid and have agreed to the terms beforehand? Many jobs require that you move to a remote location with nothing to do but work. How is this any different?
As per my tradition i have been confined for 90 days. My mother and grandmom were the confinement ladies. It was such a great time. Eat , bath, feed baby , sleep and watch youtube videos. No tension.
This is almost similar to our culture in South Africa, called botsetsi. but it's not done by professionals, your mother comes to live with you or you go live with her for up to 3months. it's so amazing to find that we so different yet so similar
Yes!! My family is Krio, (Sierra Leone), my grandmother came to stay over to help my mom when I was born. I'm quite sure many cultures have traditions where the grandmas come over to help their daughters and daughter-in-laws when they just had babies.
khumisho mogorosi Camerun too and she gives you hot water massages ( painful) basically to clean you up..and flatten back your stomach. It's cool though because it tightens relationship with your mom, make you rest perhaps because mostly they don't allow you do chores.
omg I am Ethiopien and we literally have the same tradition. I just gave birth to my baby two weeks ago and my mother came from a week before the baby until yesterday to take care of me and prepare special foods and tought me and my husband how to take care of our newborn! Crazy how we literally do the same thing. I haven't left the house with our newborn yet, out of choice though not because I can't. Back in Ethiopia newborns stay inside for 40 days.
yoongs yeah I've noticed that too. When my sister had my niece I was 16 and it was summer. I stayed with her for two weeks I did everything for her. I cleaned, did laundry and stayed up at nights feeding and changing diapers. That's just how it's always been done in my family for generations.
Becaus we live in realty? We care for ower childreb ower selfs they wil come home thosex2xfrimbthe hotel and notvnowing how to change a dieper shexreally had no clue hat tocdo when the baby starte crying
Yeah no. I'm sorry, I had to leave the hospital after three nights and I barely knew what to do and was super tired and bleeding and worried on top of that. Having someone around to help you, make sure you eat right, ... is excellent. In their last week in the hotel, they were getting more and more involved in the care of their child. they'll learn how to do things, just like any other parent. Living in "reality" doesn't have to mean being thrown to the wolves. Getting help from people (usually your mother in law and your mother) or a professional if you can afford it, is very much "reality", and it's healthier for everyone involved.
It's been like this in most of India for centuries. The woman moves in with her mother for 3 months to get back her health, get parenting guidance and lots of help from her mom and other female relatives. The baby is given daily oil massages, bathed, changed, etc by grandma and relatives. Baby bottles are sterilized in hot water. The mother gets carefully prepared special food. There are no restrictions on bathing or brushing but moms and babies don't venture out for at least a month. After 3-6 months the baby's hair is shaved and is given a name in a "naming ceremony". A mother typically gets lots of help in India even after the first year of birth.
Personally I think this is wonderful! All cultures should do this. I was especially impressed with the after care for the mothers long term health of joints etc. Gosh I was expected to be up and about straight away. Within 5 days after giving birth to my third, I was back to school runs and swimming/gym lessons with the elder two. This would have been wonderful for our family.
Apart from the luxurious and privileged services provided for the rich. There is nothing wrong with this kind of practice as it provides the mother and baby long term benefits. It reduces the chances for a baby to contract any infection or diseases. The mother can heal without any stress and therefore can concentrate on bonding and nursing the baby which is so vital. Western culture does not value the mother and women's health so such wisdom and services are not supported. We have a lot to learn.
@curiousinternals Actually she is very, very right. I would question, however, if it is truly any different in Asia. Especially a mother's life counts very little in most parts of the world.
This documentary only interviewed people in 1st tier cities. The mothers and families were well educated AND wealthy. I live in a 3rd tier city and have seen some of my Chinese friends do confinement. Some are not particularly well educated and not well exposed to modern baby care (and if they are they ignore it BECAUSE of confinement). I have seen some pretty gross confinements and some really nice ones. It all depends on the family and the location. While the practice can be nice, it can also be stressful.
wow! lucky girls. After a day in the hospital after giving birth I came home to make lunch to my husband and elder kid and do laundry. I live in Europe. Not a helpful hand from a mother or mother-in-law. Always alone in absolutly everything. But now that they're elders they demand to be supported in everything as they never did! funny isn't it?
PS: And Lilly, yes I noticed that. The grand parents in Europe often do not help anymore. Not all, but I did notice that too. Don't feel sad it is pointless.
He can do the grocery, he can clean the house, he can do laundry. If he's not at work he can also take over some of the cooking. Everyone can mock up at least a few simple things, and if not then he can go and buy some food. You focus on the baby. Be assured you will be rewarded by a kid that truly loves you, both of you. I went through that with my wife together, and we are glad we did. No help at all from any grandparents, too. Even the opposite. They only want the trouble free happy baby time.
ReRe Chan, Yes he could but those days I was young and naive. ;) It's good to see other people's realities to compare with ours and learn. Next time will be different.
If the couple are willing to pay $2800/month besides free food for the lady I think the US can create a lot of professional confinement lady too. But these days there are more care givers for elderly here in the US who cater for the need of the elderly who has ability to pay while the young mothers are expected to be strong, tough to meet the demands and tenderly loving the baby, then she is expected to go back to work after three months of caring for her newborn because that’s the only FMLA time given to a working mom.
cp pc what’s the problem I’m just stating the facts, I don’t resent nor lament the situation, I’m replying to Regularguy Anonymous why we can’t bring this to the US, some rich people might be having this setting but the common or let’s say middle class cannot even afford that. I’m just saying that American women are tough and hardworking, as soon as my first born turn one month old I went back to work and at the same time took care of our son who is now a professional himself, as for the elderly some have the money so they can afford caregivers and that is just but facts so there I gave you a break.
I've had 5 children, my oldest is almost 30 and the youngest is 11. I so could have used this! I was on my own even after cesarean, had cancer on the third and started chemotherapy while caring for my newborn. This would have been divine!😍😍👍💕
The term confinement really irks me. They aren’t being forcibly confined, they are simply being nurtured back to health after doing something as strenuous as giving birth. I think the way they are doing it makes sense- giving women time to rejuvenate and being taken care of. I wish we did more of that in the US.
A confinement is what staying home in late pregnancy and after birth was called when it was popular here in the UK. A short time for the poor, longer for the rich. It doesn't mean being forcibly confined.
I followed quite a bit of these traditions thanks to an amazing malaysian midwife with my second child. It helped so much with healing, the diet with colic and the rest with the connection with my child and postpartum depression. Having a helping hand like this sounds like a dream to me, but its also important to be able to make choices as a mother.
I was in M&S doing the grocery shopping the day after having my second. This looks like paradise to me, our culture of in and out of hospital and back to normal life asap is too much. I really struggled with a newborn and a toddler and zero support.
I loved doing all this for my baby! I couldn’t bear having someone else doing all the mothering. This is the most enjoyable time of a new mother’s life, enjoy it while you can it’s soon gone.
Right? I'll be glad to have someone help me with making food, doing chores etc. But no way do I want someone taking care of the baby instead of letting me do it, nor would I want to be away from my older children for a month.
If you want more of a hands off, then you probably can request it. I mean shes cooking and cleaning so means more time for YOU to bond with the baby and not have to stress about that. She also knows how to make things to repair your body. I think its a great idea. Different for each client.
I am so fortunate to have had my mum she took care of me so well after giving birth to my first baby. Depression hit me hard and she helped so much 💗 it is so important for moms to have all the support
Actually a lot of African American families do this same thing. No going out and about soon after deviling a baby. No cold drinks after the birth either. No as for staying in the house 24/7 I never heard of that. A new mother needs time to recover. Great concept.
Just Me We just stay in the house as much as possible for about the first six weeks, we don't really think about it because we are spending the time learning how to care for and bonding with our baby.
I remember being told not to take a bath. Shower is OK. Don't go out because your body is open ( immune system ) don't take the baby out because of colic ect. My sister spoiled me. She took over Lol with all three of my boys. I love her soo. She never had kids so mine are hers
I thought so. I always though all women took a a little over a month inside the house so that the baby doesn’t get sick and the mom can bond and learn about the baby
I live in the uk and with all 4 of my babies I came home to other kids, housework and making cups of teas for my visitors who wanted to look at the baby! I’d of loved this cuz I suffer from chronic fatigue syndrome so it would of benefitted me so much! I always had a houseful soon as I stepped foot in the door 🙄
My mother perform these practices with me. We’re partly Creole and Apache Indian she stated it was passed down from her mother to her. I wasn’t allowed to bath, do any chores period. I was not allowed outside for eight weeks...I almost went insane but all of a sudden my zen and chakras kicked it...I had never been at more peace 😌
I agree. I think having mother/baby bonding time & isolation so that the baby (& mom) is not at risk of illness are good. And having some help (especially if relatives are far away) is good if you are a brand new mother and have no previous children and no previous experience caring for a baby. I wish this was more common in North America since we have "maternity leave" for working mothers to stay home and care for their babies, but less of a tradition of family or professional help immediately after the birth.
I think it's a bit different for China especially b/c of the recent history. The older generations are looked on as not having modern education b/c of isolation, Cultural Revolution, etc. New parents would be skeptical of their mother's advice (not brushing teeth or bathing).
Liz Castaneda this is new to the Chinese population. My mom did this on her own with the help of my father. Letting someone else take care of your kid isn't a thing until recently
Liz Castaneda they do bond with their baby, she can feed when she wants or play when she wants even when they want mommy they will bring the baby to her. but I wish we gad this in the u. s.
The same tradition we have it in Saudi Arabia, but it's slightly different , it's called (alarbaeen) and means literally 40, woman supposed to stay at home for 40 days and she eat special food and drinks and must stay warm and not leave the house for 40 days, new mum find it hard so they stay with their mothers house to get help, and mostly visitors come to congrats the family and after that the new mum and baby can return home . in my opinion it's exaggeration and overly protective process
Here in Tunisia is the same . We have the 40 days too and the over clothing as to protect ourselves againts the colds etc . And we put olive oil in our hair and wrapped it around with some head scarf and oh the no bathing thing after 40 days . But I guess I'm not into traditions , I barely did anything of these . Even my wedding , I didnt follow traditions like henna or hammam or big weddings . I'm more of doing my thing than following any traditions .
mishael aljuaid In Kerala, India. We too follow a similar routine. Boiled water, extra clothes, special food and avoiding certain foods and oil treatments for baby and the mother and many other rules.
Things have changed there, Saudi Arabian women enjoy things now they couldn't over a decade ago. Some areas are loosening up a bit. The people have adapted to it, and many are calling for more convenient rules ... don't try to dishearten a culture that's slowly coming to terms with the rest of the modernized world.
Lærke Bundgård This offensive and disrespectful comment only shows your ignorant narrow-minded view of the world which does not accept the diversity :) If Saudi women are living their culture, which you don't accept, it doesn't allow you to judge them based on your culture. well, according to them, you can be judged as being a woman who is being objectified by her culture which doesn't respect her to the extent of having a harrassment and rape every 9 minutes according to your govermental statistics. After that, you're being left at the elderly house with no children to care for you. Sometimes a lot of western women are living a homeless life. No need to say that your payment is less than men's payment ;) You can't see any of this in Saudi Arabia due to the respect they pay for women as mothers, wives, sisters and daughters.
My mom came to stay with me for the first three weeks and it was a great help! But her tasks were food, the household, laundry. The baby tasks were for me! After all, that's why I got the child in the first place. The first baths etc. are just magical events - scary but magical.
Within the African-American community, people don't usually take their babies out for about three months traditionally. It's considered unsafe for exposing the baby to illnesses too early.
I am a black American I was only restricted for 6 weeks. The hardest part was not washing my hair for that time. Lol It is shocking to me that people find this as odd or crazy, I always assumed most people did this in some form! It promotes healing and you get to bond with your baby and learn how to be a mother.
i'm not african american, though we do the same. i wasn't taken outside until i was at least six months old. it's a practice that makes a lot of sense. babies are incredibly vulnerable.
I would've loved to have a confinement after each of my three babies! My mother died when I was in teenager and although my loving husband did his best it would have been great to rest and enjoy the new baby with support from a caring woman, especially as I had anemia and was very physically tired. I also got an infection after my last child was born.
This is amazing! We also practice this among my family in New Zealand (We are Maori/Polynesians). Our mothers usually come an help, we don't leave our houses for 30 Days as well.
After my c section and staying in hospital 9 days I went home and my husband helped me as much as possible then I went to my mums house and my 3 bro n mum helped me for 30 days. So I’ve rested 39 days. Plus I’ve taken a year off uni so I was a stay at home for 1yr and returning back to study in 2019 InshAllah. Spending 1 yr with my baby was precious I made sure his eating habits is good, sleep routine and if his taking supplements, hitting milestones everything’s well Alhamdurillah, I also simulate his brain with activities n he wants to explore. I’m British born and was lucky enough to have all the support I did. Even before pregnancy my brother took me to the hospital, clinics and midwife appointments every week by car MashAllah. I thank everyone that helped me, couldn’t have done it without my family, this is my first child.
This tradition is not only found and practiced in China, even here in the Pacific Islands its mostly family members that helps with the care of a New Born member while the Mother rest for as long as she needs, considering PPD in women after giving birth. The Mother and Baby have their time to emotionally connect with each other but is supervised by another female and when Baby falls asleep we usually give an hour or two to separate them from each other.
I'm from Nigeria and we have a similar system in South East Nigeria where the mother of the new mom comes after the birth to help her daughter. She takes special care of the baby and cooks all sorts of delicacies meant to help whip the new mom back to her old self. Its called 'omugwo' and I think its extremely important.
in Ethiopia confinement is also a custom that deeply rooted in the culture of Ethiopians.new mothers who give birth for a baby boy expected to remain indoors for 40 days and who give birth for baby girl they expected to say for 80 consecutive days. like Chinese they will follow a strict set of rules excluding not washing their hair and eating pig's feet soup. surprisingly the mother in low plays the major role in giving care for the new mother as well as the new born baby.
am ethiopian and was alone with my baby but trust me my connection with my baby is different look at the mom when the baby is crying she couldnt even pat him correctly and you know the bond is different just saying😊 and me n my hubby we love and adore all the excpirence and cherish every moment
in brazil we have confinement for 40 days too, it's called resguardo, during that time the mother can shower and wash her hair but she shouldn't do things like home chores, or lifting heavy things. She also shouldn't have strong emotions, like, she shouldn't get too upset or bothered, or her breast milk might dry out. the baby also is not recommended to have any visits during this time. I think its just the european/heavily eurocentric cultures that don't have the confinement time...
I am British/Canadian...when i had my first child 43 years ago...it was understood I would not take the baby out for the first month...my Mum came with food ...nearly every day..friends came by to help out...with laundry...chatting....it was a time for bonding with the baby...napping when the baby napped...and recouping my energy....was a nice time...no pressure to do or go any where...
I will say that the only major problem with the Chinese mom's practice is that my doctors told me that walking every day after birth was important to speed healing. Lack of walking would actually slow down the healing process.
I guess different culture has different approach on this. Some of the theories here are even come from thousand years ago (especially the food, nutrition, and the qi). So there is the answer.
Samatha just because it’s an old tradition doesn’t mean it helps heal any faster. I’m not saying anything against this practice - I just wouldn’t discount modern doctors. Also I wouldn’t have the discipline to stay inside for a month 😂
Pseudoscience about food and water aside, the idea of having a 24 hour nanny the first month of the baby's life sounds great. Having a baby is pretty overwhelming and having a professional there to help you through the first days would help a lot, though it would be better if they didn't promote all the superstitious stuff about not going out or wearing winter clothes in the heat.
LynxChan, it's not pseudo science and it's not superstition. It may however be low tech by today's standards. But these thing were put into place during times when we did not ha e practicing medical doctors, pharmaceuticals, and hospital facilities. Through out history many babies and mother's died. These measures considerably increased survival. This was done all over the world in various ways. It works.
You can't label thing psuedoscience if modern scientist aren't capable of explaining why a lot of old traditional people continued to do it It's common practise in many Asian country
@@nehashrivastav7552 Why can't women bathe or even brush their teeth? Brushing their teeth with cold water can give them a cold or something I assume. This confinement thing seems so based on old wives tale. What's practiced or passed on from many traditions doesn't necessarily mean it's appropriate or the perfect method. The only thing I agree with is that it is very beneficial to have an assistant minus all the other stuff.
@Jenn Jenn yes mam maybe not too this extreme. Hispanic moms almost always expect for you to go back home for the 40 days, or they move in with you lol. They help take care of and you and baby with the must have hand me down list of do's and don'ts because "this is what your abuela did for me and her mother before that". And the obligatory homemade linen girdle to help your belly get back to normal. Although it kinda of defeats the purpose because she insists you eat oatmeal 3x's a day because "it helps you produce more breast milk" lmao. And it's free! And they get bragging rights that she did everything w/the baby first. It's such a blessing especially when you have your 2nd, 3rd, 4th however many kids you have had.😊
It would be nice if some women got together and opened a confinement house for those that can afford it.(nothing too expensive). Provide an extra service via donations for first time mothers with no family support would be really useful. Set up small mothers group to give advice and share experiences.
It is such a narrow perspective to assume using a confinement centre means only consumerism and "delayed onset parenting" like a "parenting disneyland". Confinement is a tradition that is meant to help new mothers. It is particularly helpful in modern society in my opinion since most young mothers now have to return to work soon after giving birth. Getting used to having someone help take care of the baby is not only helpful but healthy for the mom to focus on her recuperation and later on in balancing her work and baby. Having a baby doesn't mean the mother needs to then only be all about the baby, when help can be achieved to have a healthier, more rounded and balanced lifestyle, why not? Why try to do it all by yourself, when studies have proven over and over again that it is only detrimental in the end and those that tried end up losing on both ends.
Amanda Pj I totally agree. It's disgusting how the west ostracise any mother who makes time for herself. We need to prioritise mothers happiness and wellness so she can be a better mother, all the stress women go through in the first few months is underrated. Parents are basically slaves to their offspring in the western world and called selfish otherwise, we are beyond the idea of a family unit.
I completely agree with you but as everything with western culture give it 20 years and they will soon have confinement centers and brand it as an innovative birthing trend as if that's, not something other cultures have been doing for centuries.
For health reasons and such it seems great. But for the child not so much. That mother didnt even know how to comfort her 3 week old baby. That's a huge issue. She needs more time hands on with her child. More contact. Skin to skin. Feeding... all of that is necessary. There should be a balance of both.
@@atxbrighteyes it's true but to be fair to her it seemed 3 other women couldn't wait to scoop up her baby or tell her what to do! (The nurse, her mom and mother-in-law). Once she is on her own she will soon learn, the baby will tell her what he wants! At least she would've had plenty of sleep and rest and good nutrition to get her strength back. The baby is only a month old, she has plenty of time to be with her baby alone. Although I prefer the lady who came to your home, then she fits around your life and routine and you learn to take care of the baby in familiar surroundings.
@@idylledoll you're ignoring the capitalism, classism, racism, jobmarket and sexism that contribute to this in "the west " and when you talk this way about the child and mother care you actively contributein ng to the society that doesn't want to care for them properly
Confinement lady does help a lot. It has been proven in Malaysia since we practice it during the old days. But somehow, China doing it far better by taking it to the next level. It helps women from getting depression after labor. Mums need a lot of TLC, not just physically but mentally. Food plays an important role. Not just food but sufficient sleep as well.
In some ways, confinement is brilliant, particularly for mother's showing signs of post-natal depression/anxiety. We need such support, but rarely have it.
I did right for 2 weeks, one month was too hard for me to follow. but even 2 weeks was big help too. That maybe good reason why Chinese women look younger.
How wonderful is it to have a baby in China, I know after having my first baby, I was completely overwhelmed, I cried every time my baby cried thinking I’d done something wrong. I was 20 and I am the eldest of 7 children, so not a young teen, and you could say I had a lot of practice, but it’s totally different when the baby is yours. My husband helped, but he was no more knowledgeable about babies as I was. It took nearly 12 years to have my second baby and it was just like having my first baby all over again. It seemed all the rules had changed. It would have been so wonderful to have had help, guidance, and someone there just to answer the big questions “am I doing this right” “is that normal” “do all babies do that”. To have had someone there to look after both the baby and myself, well, you’d feel like royalty.
In India, the confinement period is of 40 days. Baths are also taken on special days. Mother is supposed to keep warm. Mother is not supposed to do household chores and special foods are prepared for her mostly with clarified butter, dry fruits, nuts, and other herbs which are thought to have medicinal and herbal properties. I don't personally agree to the confinement practice.
I m Indian and this type of custom is also practiced in India with minimum one and half months of rest..and you get 6 months maternity and 3 years child care leave too..I feel so lucky..
This is a practice in Africa as well. The mother and the baby only get to see the outside world after a month. It's mostly for health reasons, for the mother to recuperate well after giving birth. During that month, the new mother and the baby is well taken care of by her mother or mother in law or s relative.
I am Vietnamese and I’ve had to do this for the first month with my first 3 babies - but baby #4 I did not. Could not go outside for a month. My baby wasn’t allowed to leave the house either. I also was not allowed to walk or stand longer than a couple minutes - basically I was expected to be bed ridden and rotting (literally) because I wasn’t allowed to get wet by showering or bathing - not even brushing my teeth - strict diet ETC ETC ETC - the one month of rest and not letting my baby outside makes sense. I don’t believe in taking my newborns out anyways because they aren’t strong enough to handle it but the other things were so extreme but I had to do it.
In Tanzania, Africa , some of the tribe stays strictly Confinement 40 days, and then you stay with a help of a mother in law, or mother or sister not doing any heavy duties, and have special meals for 3 months, after that you are on your own.. BUT Gaining weight is the sign of being taken care of after birth :)
I love confinement and I have never had a child, but if I have a baby I want the confinement lady in my home, this is such a lovely cultural practise... it is like a super nanny!!!
A vitally important benefit of the "confinement" period after giving birth: Prevention & healing of post-partum depression. Either hiring a full-time private "confinement assistant" or living in a "conefinement clinic" for a month or longer , the new mother isn't left alone to cope with her new baby & her own depleted health conditions. she would be eased into the situation with gradual learning & practice. She would receive appropriate attention & support when she needs it. In the west, post-partum depression has ranged from the new mother feeling listless, hopeless & lethargic to commiting suicides. However, it hasn't resulted in compassionate effective medical treatments other than prescription drugs. Many new mothers feel isolated & helpless, & their male partners or relatives are not even aware of this medical condition & are clueless in dealing with it.
I am a supporter of this. I don't have this in my country, but in Cyprus it exists. There is also a period of 40 days after a woman gives birth that she stays home. My mother in law helped me so much. After this experience, I am closer with her.
Wow. I just had a baby on May 1st by c-section. I probably took her out too early but I took her out at two weeks. I can't stay inside forever.She didn't get sick. She's healthy. 7 weeks today.
My mom had 7 kids and none of us left the house for 3 months except for checkups. If my mom left, it was for appointments only as well. Barely anyone was allowed to hold us. This was her decision and to this day, I still think she was crazy, lol, love you mom
Not crazy at all. Think of the babies immune system. It's vulnerable. There was a story not to long ago that this couple brought their new born to the their wedding. Apparently someone kissed the baby and it died a few days later due to whooping cough.
How lucky these women are. Being a new mother is not easy on the body from what I've heard..so it's cool that these mothers who can afford it get some time to relax.
"staying indoor, skipping shower and pig feet soup might not be everyone's cup of tea but confinement also means mothers in China can expect full time support for at least a month after child's birth and that sounds like one tradition worth keeping." Wow love this summary - Beautiful end to this documentary. I enjoyed watching it while doing my work. hahaha
I could never have let someone else do all the changing and holding and comforting of my baby for the first month.. Even in the hospital I never let the nurses take my baby or let them leave the room without me. I like the idea of confinement but not having the other woman do so much for the baby i guess..
It would be a major bonding time for the mom and child, and to have that taken away....NO, but to give the mom a lot of help so she can recover, that's good. C-section or birth...major trauma to the body, even if birth is a natural thing.
My fathers mother did the exact same thing for my mom and I when I was born, only difference is she had to stay in for 40 days. Bulgarian tradition is not so different from Chinese, old civilizations knowledge! Great video
blondecat666 it's sad really... self obsessed narcissists like meldralala over here complain about babies when they don't even have one..... really makes me sad for any children they might potentially have who would have to put up with such selfish parents.
Meldralala just so you know little "Ms. Me" parenting is all about self sacrifice... if you can't sacrifice your time and self for your child don't have a baby... stay by yourself alright? We've already got one too many incompetent selfish twats having children who just have to put up with them
My mother in law was tough as nails. Her mom famously gave birth, then got up and started working. I heard about that many times. I refused to be pushed into doing "more" after birth of the first born. It wasn't easy dealing with so much conflicting advice from everyone, esp other mothers with experience. Sometimes I had to get firm and yell for people to leave me alone in peace and quiet! Getting my husband to keep quiet (he's noisy) and defend me was also a thing. Phew! Somehow all 4 kids are grown and healthy.
Yes, exactly. Even male-female segregation in Ancient China is very similar to segregation in Islam but just without hijab style veil. Ancient China use curtain instead. Even Chinese have similar culture to Islam Ta'aruf.
Its really great to see how different cultures do things. The way my whole family was was opposite. We really didn't let anyone touch our newborns except maybe family for the first month. I love seeing different perks experiences
This is such a smart idea! It gives new parents the knowledge they need to care for a child and relieves the stress of the mother. They also probably help with post partum depression, too. This should be standard worldwide.
I gave birth to two children in the United States. The first one was born 28 years ago, the second one 23 years ago. There was no confinement at all and no help at home because my mother had died long before and the paternal grandmothers were not present and whatever help with newborns there was was up to the insurance companies. And they did not care to invest. The eldest was four weeks premature, the youngest was 3 weeks premature. I was lucky with my eldest to be granted three days in the hospital and really blessed with an elder nurse who helped me breastfeed, because this child did not figure out to do this. Above all I had a female friend, a co-worker who did not let me go home, but insisted that I stay at her house for two weeks so that I could rest, and learn (she was an experienced older mother) how to take properly care of my newborn. My second child was born during the period of 24 hour hospital stay after giving birth for new mothers. I was lucky again because my obstetrician managed to convince the insurance company to let me stay for 48 hours because of complications during pregnancy - a rare luxury at that time. After that they sent me home to a house with three young children all under age 7 (including my stepdaughter) with a prescription of Percocet to relieve the pain of uterus contraction. After it took me 3 hours to pack my bag for going home, I decided that Percocet did work for me to be capable of caring for my newborn at home I did not even fill that prescription. Even though I was promised help at home with my newborn I rejected this service because the phone call arrive three weeks after I left the hospital. What good would that do me after all of that time of being by myself with the baby - and the other two children - while my husband was working. I was not just angry, I was incensed. The reality of it was that the insurance did not care for the post natal care of my child or myself. All they cared for was not spending money. Traditionally, in Europe, where I come from, a mother's confinement is a week. During that time mothers were cared for by relatives who did the cooking, cleaning, shopping etc., and they were also taking care of the other children or new mothers stayed in hospital for a week which allows a new mother to get some rest. I do not understand why insurance companies in the USA believe that giving birth is akin to having a wart removed! On the contrary: pregnancy and childbirth are exhausting, physically and mentally, and even more importantly - a new mother who has to feed her newborn every 3 to 4 hours every day suffers not only from sleep deprivation - she spends her days in a fog of semi-consciousness that endangers the newborn, herself, and the rest of the family particularly when there are no family members alive or available to help her out, let alone the help she is promised by the "system" that does not arrive or arrives way too late. Four weeks of confinement may, perhaps, be excessive. But one week or two would help so, so much - actual, real help that is. I would like all of you to know that it took me two years to recover from each of the two births. But I would also like you to know that I was one of the privileged mothers in the United States, a woman with a Ph.D, an academic career and full benefits. I am afraid to imagine what it would be like for a new mother with no benefits, no prenatal care, the most basic care when giving birth, and no post natal care whatsoever. This must change in the United States of America.
Susi Colin Thank you so much for your understanding and kindness of what it’s like to be a mother of a new born here in the US. I have three grown children and looking back it was not easy. This insurance business of ,”Have your baby, now go home so we don’t have to pay a unnecessary hospital bill.” Is truly detrimental to the health of both mother and baby. For many years, after the births and raising three small ones each only two year apart, I often suffered with depression and resentment. This takes it’s tole on the entire family.
Agreed! We are an American military family and we were posted to another base and had to move two weeks after my daughter was born. And that's a common story among my other friends who are military spouses. We traveled across the country with a three week old and had to move into a new home while learning how to care for a newborn. Honestly, my parents saved our sanity, but they both took out three weeks vacation time to help us. I am eternally grateful to them, but that should never happen. Especially if your spouse is serving in the armed forces, that's stressful enough. How the US does pre and post- natal care is out of control.
I did something similar for my sister when she had her kids. I'm a midwife, so it made sense to me that I help. I left after 3 weeks, I was home for 2 days and my sister asked me to come back. So I spent another 3 weeks with her. Same with her next baby. Not everyone has the time or money to spend months with family helping. I'm grateful I could be there, and I'm very close with my nephews. It would be nice if we could help every mother out more, not just ones that have just given birth.
In Korea they have the thing for close to a month where it's not really a confinement thing but it's just from a helping perspective where the mom stays with the baby and the dad goes home. Doctors and nurses help the mom and teach her. I'd love that too
Im lucky enough that my mother in law has decided to help me and travel 6 hours to live with me for the first month when my twins are born, I honestly think we should treat mothers better in western cultures.
It’s very common for Chinese families to have a nanny to do chores even for those not in the upper class. A list of things that happen during confinement: you can’t wash your hair for the month. You have to have chicken soup everyday. You can’t use the AC. You can wash your body/shower and can only wipe down with warm water and a special leaf. There is a whole boo of things that you can’t eat. You can’t leave the bed, except to use the restroom.
The purpose is to get 1-month good care and rest, after such a big event with her body exhausted. A new mom needs to recover well, which is so difficult when she has to take care of a new baby, feeding every 2-3 hours, learning a million details about baby-care. Every new mom needs a lot of help/care/training, and this service is just so precious. Not to go out is to prevent the possibility of catching a cold, or running into some accidents. Many women do go out within the first month, but not for long distances. It's due to safety consideration.
I'm not Chinese, but this confinement stuff is brilliant. A new mother should be well rested and taken care of!
But she should still be clean as well.
Purple Piano Hey, I think it's a good start!
ikr i think in givin birth there
Ellie Grace Banks I give birth to my son in California Modesto Kaiser hospital. My delivery was so difficult and painful 😣 after giving birth my whole body was so swelled and painful that even a small and thin fabric that came in touch with my body made me cry of pain. I was all alone and my husband wasn’t granted off from work. I Was in hospital for 6 days and each second I cried of pain and my eyes were always in search for someone to come and help me with my baby. He is now going to be 17 months old but the pain I go through still makes me cry and depressed
Ma Lo guess asians were right with this.
In Nigeria confinement is calle "Umugwu". Your mother comes and takes care of you and the baby along with other female relatives. The mother focuses on feeding the baby and resting.
It's basic common sense.
How do grandmothers manage to do their part if they're working full time??
Isolation for the first 30 days makes sense, baby is most at risk of infection - especially in a highly populated area. Mother is also at risk due to post-partum blood loss
Makes sense back in the day when most countries didn't have proper waterways and sewage systems and cholera and the plague and stuff spread everywhere to isolate yourself and your baby from others and hopefully the spread of infectious diseases..? Maybe not so much in the 21st century.. Though China has lots of air pollution so hmm..
Even if waterways are clean, they can easily fall sick from people who are sick and don't wear masks or anything to protect as much of their germs from newborns & mom.
ahri Yes but only if the babies breastfeed they get the antibodies.
ParisianPrincess it’s good for babies to be exposed to different types of environments so that their immune system gets use to it and gets strong if they are sheltered and over protected they will get sick later on
I found this really beautiful where woman are being taking care of. Nowadays women who just given birth are back on their feet. Cooking , cleaning running after other kids. Hardly any help from people around them. This is just beautiful to see!!
I need a confinement lady even if I don't have a baby
lmaoo
Lol
Me too
Queen Queenly LoL would be nice wouldn’t it
Queen Queenly god, yes
As a mum I feel this is a beautiful tradition. Glad RUclips recommend this video
Laura Ereku You think it’s beautiful to discouraged to feed, dress, bathe or meaningfully interact with your brand new baby during its first month of life whilst being told not to wash yourself, brush your teeth, go outside, drink anything cold, and wear coats and hats even if it’s hot and apparently being isolated from your partner? Beautiful?
My husband is Chinese, we lived in America at the time of our daughter's birth, it's really impossible to stay home the first month as they want you to go to Doctor's appointments the first week. I went out a few times but the baby stayed home with his parents (who traveled all the way from China to help us). His parents took care of the cooking and cleaning and the baby when I needed to rest, I ate some interesting traditional dishes that were supposed to help with postpartum and breastfeeding. Overall they didn't pressure me to do anything traditional that I didn't want to, like the not washing bit, I took a shower the 2nd day in the hospital (requested by the hospital for post c-section).
I feel we have the expectations on ourselves in America to do everything, be supermoms, which was honestly what I felt a lot during the first month, pressure on myself.
The other disruption I felt was I wanted to just be alone with my husband and baby, and sometimes felt that wasn't really happening. I think next baby will be a bit easier as I'll know what I need, what boundaries I need to set.
Overall, I was very fortunate to have such helpful in-laws. My parents both passed away years ago, otherwise I feel my mom would have helped as well.
It's not to this extreme, but it's really similar in my East African culture. My mom said she didn't take any of her babies out for 30-40 days, you shave the hair off to ensure it grows back nice and healthy, and the mom is pampered during those set days. Crazy how similar cultures are.
Yeah all except "Anglo Culture"
Em S
Same thing in Afghan culture but its for 40 days.
Yep same here in South Africa, only people allowed in is the Dad, mother, mother in law and your siblings.
In Ghana too not sure if it applies to all the tribes. It's normally 40 days until the baby and mother are strong. The baby has a naming ceremony at that stage normally. You can shower and bath though. Lol
In America you're expected to bounce right up the next day and look like a Victoria's Secret model with NO help from a professional team of experts 🙄
Confinement sounds grrrrreat!
Hahaha
Lol
Maybe that was YOUR experience.
Lol I know right
no one cares sis.
I had a premature baby, the baby was in the hospital for 4 months. So for me it was like confinement. The nurses looked after the baby while I had a good night sleep every night and came into hospital to feed, bath etc. it was good as I was helped in how to look after the baby. I think this is really good.
how much you paid them? it was incredibly expensive, wasn't it? one day of the costs you spent to the hospital could pay a Chinese confinement couple of weeks.
SUNNY GC my baby was a preemie to. He was in the hospital about 1 1/2 months tho. It’s nice to have nurses that were there to help
Me too! Mine was born 25 weeks so was hospital for ages, gave me a chance to have a good night sleep and rest
I had no support from anyone, my sons father drank and went out all hours. I was left in the house with a baby, weak from blood loss and having no one there. My mother would have helped me more if it wasn’t for my selfish, alcoholic father who demanded all her time and energy. 23 years later we are both living together supporting each other. My son has left home and my father is living somewhere else.
Hey there well done to both off you there’s nothing like your mammy your so lucky I brought two daughters up by myself my husband lived with us but drank like a fish and a dad that drank like a fish too my mammy died shortly after my youngest was born and I know that I would never have stayed with my husband I would have left him and moved in me my daughters and my mammy I’m so jealous of you and your wee mammy god bless you both stay safe and I wish you much happiness x
I don't have a baby and I want a confinement lady, lol.
Lol same! I think it's a brilliant thing!
trinichick76 I agree!
I think its slavery for spoiled rich women
Is it slavery if they're paid and have agreed to the terms beforehand? Many jobs require that you move to a remote location with nothing to do but work. How is this any different?
You can not be a confined mother.I guess there is a misunderstanding,it is for new mother to gain their strength.That is the whole concept.
As per my tradition i have been confined for 90 days. My mother and grandmom were the confinement ladies. It was such a great time. Eat , bath, feed baby , sleep and watch youtube videos. No tension.
Lol, you mean sneak watching RUclips videos.
This is almost similar to our culture in South Africa, called botsetsi. but it's not done by professionals, your mother comes to live with you or you go live with her for up to 3months.
it's so amazing to find that we so different yet so similar
khumisho mogorosi is that practiced by Afrikaans speakers too?
Ailín Ó'S ,No it's a tradition practiced by native South Africans, Afrikaans speaking don't
khumisho mogorosi Ahhh okay I see. Thanks for clarification
Yes!! My family is Krio, (Sierra Leone), my grandmother came to stay over to help my mom when I was born. I'm quite sure many cultures have traditions where the grandmas come over to help their daughters and daughter-in-laws when they just had babies.
khumisho mogorosi Camerun too and she gives you hot water massages ( painful) basically to clean you up..and flatten back your stomach. It's cool though because it tightens relationship with your mom, make you rest perhaps because mostly they don't allow you do chores.
That redheaded father has some strong genes. There kids are adorable. I wanted my baby to have red hair like his dad.
Lucy both parents need the red gene.
River Smith the mom has well black hair
I love red hair
omg I am Ethiopien and we literally have the same tradition. I just gave birth to my baby two weeks ago and my mother came from a week before the baby until yesterday to take care of me and prepare special foods and tought me and my husband how to take care of our newborn! Crazy how we literally do the same thing. I haven't left the house with our newborn yet, out of choice though not because I can't. Back in Ethiopia newborns stay inside for 40 days.
It's the same in many African countries and Muslim countries
In Somalia it's until the bleeding stops.
What I learned from the comments : This confinement thing is practiced in India, South Africa, Latin America, everywhere, except among white people.
yoongs yeah I've noticed that too. When my sister had my niece I was 16 and it was summer. I stayed with her for two weeks I did everything for her. I cleaned, did laundry and stayed up at nights feeding and changing diapers. That's just how it's always been done in my family for generations.
There are white people all over the world. Don't make assumptions.
Becaus we live in realty? We care for ower childreb ower selfs they wil come home thosex2xfrimbthe hotel and notvnowing how to change a dieper shexreally had no clue hat tocdo when the baby starte crying
Yeah no. I'm sorry, I had to leave the hospital after three nights and I barely knew what to do and was super tired and bleeding and worried on top of that. Having someone around to help you, make sure you eat right, ... is excellent. In their last week in the hotel, they were getting more and more involved in the care of their child. they'll learn how to do things, just like any other parent. Living in "reality" doesn't have to mean being thrown to the wolves. Getting help from people (usually your mother in law and your mother) or a professional if you can afford it, is very much "reality", and it's healthier for everyone involved.
Africa in general
It's been like this in most of India for centuries. The woman moves in with her mother for 3 months to get back her health, get parenting guidance and lots of help from her mom and other female relatives. The baby is given daily oil massages, bathed, changed, etc by grandma and relatives. Baby bottles are sterilized in hot water. The mother gets carefully prepared special food. There are no restrictions on bathing or brushing but moms and babies don't venture out for at least a month. After 3-6 months the baby's hair is shaved and is given a name in a "naming ceremony". A mother typically gets lots of help in India even after the first year of birth.
Personally I think this is wonderful! All cultures should do this. I was especially impressed with the after care for the mothers long term health of joints etc. Gosh I was expected to be up and about straight away. Within 5 days after giving birth to my third, I was back to school runs and swimming/gym lessons with the elder two. This would have been wonderful for our family.
Confinement sounds like a good idea providing support at a very critical time. I wish my mother had more support.
Apart from the luxurious and privileged services provided for the rich. There is nothing wrong with this kind of practice as it provides the mother and baby long term benefits. It reduces the chances for a baby to contract any infection or diseases. The mother can heal without any stress and therefore can concentrate on bonding and nursing the baby which is so vital. Western culture does not value the mother and women's health so such wisdom and services are not supported. We have a lot to learn.
intimom it does not look very luxurious to me. Looks pretty ghetto.
this is not provided for the rich, this is for the middle class.
@curiousinternals Actually she is very, very right. I would question, however, if it is truly any different in Asia. Especially a mother's life counts very little in most parts of the world.
This documentary only interviewed people in 1st tier cities. The mothers and families were well educated AND wealthy. I live in a 3rd tier city and have seen some of my Chinese friends do confinement. Some are not particularly well educated and not well exposed to modern baby care (and if they are they ignore it BECAUSE of confinement). I have seen some pretty gross confinements and some really nice ones. It all depends on the family and the location. While the practice can be nice, it can also be stressful.
Doesn't the baby have a strong immune system that cannot catch diseases that protects them for 6 weeks?
wow! lucky girls. After a day in the hospital after giving birth I came home to make lunch to my husband and elder kid and do laundry. I live in Europe. Not a helpful hand from a mother or mother-in-law. Always alone in absolutly everything. But now that they're elders they demand to be supported in everything as they never did! funny isn't it?
PS: And Lilly, yes I noticed that. The grand parents in Europe often do not help anymore. Not all, but I did notice that too. Don't feel sad it is pointless.
9400lilly your husband could help by doing the laundry and make his own food. :/
He can do the grocery, he can clean the house, he can do laundry. If he's not at work he can also take over some of the cooking. Everyone can mock up at least a few simple things, and if not then he can go and buy some food. You focus on the baby.
Be assured you will be rewarded by a kid that truly loves you, both of you. I went through that with my wife together, and we are glad we did. No help at all from any grandparents, too. Even the opposite. They only want the trouble free happy baby time.
Thank you Peter. If there's a new baby some day that's wat will happen.
ReRe Chan, Yes he could but those days I was young and naive. ;)
It's good to see other people's realities to compare with ours and learn. Next time will be different.
Bring this to the u.s my wife and I would have loved the help. Couple of amateurs leaving the hospital like “what do we do?” Lol.
Just look at it. Make sure its breathing and feed a d change it lmaooo.
If the couple are willing to pay $2800/month besides free food for the lady I think the US can create a lot of professional confinement lady too. But these days there are more care givers for elderly here in the US who cater for the need of the elderly who has ability to pay while the young mothers are expected to be strong, tough to meet the demands and tenderly loving the baby, then she is expected to go back to work after three months of caring for her newborn because that’s the only FMLA time given to a working mom.
cp pc what’s the problem I’m just stating the facts, I don’t resent nor lament the situation, I’m replying to Regularguy Anonymous why we can’t bring this to the US, some rich people might be having this setting but the common or let’s say middle class cannot even afford that. I’m just saying that American women are tough and hardworking, as soon as my first born turn one month old I went back to work and at the same time took care of our son who is now a professional himself, as for the elderly some have the money so they can afford caregivers and that is just but facts so there I gave you a break.
@@UnchosenRatomaniaTheS8 That wasn't the point.
Call ya mom 😂
I've had 5 children, my oldest is almost 30 and the youngest is 11. I so could have used this! I was on my own even after cesarean, had cancer on the third and started chemotherapy while caring for my newborn. This would have been divine!😍😍👍💕
@Your thoughts Not mine me too , been cancer free for almost 20 years👍😁
@@dinamcnasty I'm happy to hear you're cancer free, congratulations on beating cancer!
The term confinement really irks me. They aren’t being forcibly confined, they are simply being nurtured back to health after doing something as strenuous as giving birth. I think the way they are doing it makes sense- giving women time to rejuvenate and being taken care of. I wish we did more of that in the US.
A confinement is what staying home in late pregnancy and after birth was called when it was popular here in the UK. A short time for the poor, longer for the rich. It doesn't mean being forcibly confined.
It makes sense she'd be getting paid over 2k. She's basically clocking into work today and clocking OuT 30 whole days later
Seriously! She's basically working for 30 days straight, no break. 2k doesn't even seem enough
I followed quite a bit of these traditions thanks to an amazing malaysian midwife with my second child. It helped so much with healing, the diet with colic and the rest with the connection with my child and postpartum depression. Having a helping hand like this sounds like a dream to me, but its also important to be able to make choices as a mother.
I was in M&S doing the grocery shopping the day after having my second. This looks like paradise to me, our culture of in and out of hospital and back to normal life asap is too much. I really struggled with a newborn and a toddler and zero support.
I loved doing all this for my baby! I couldn’t bear having someone else doing all the mothering. This is the most enjoyable time of a new mother’s life, enjoy it while you can it’s soon gone.
Those newborn days are so special and go by so fast. They are meant for bonding. I couldn't imagine giving that gift to someone else. No thank you!
Right? I'll be glad to have someone help me with making food, doing chores etc. But no way do I want someone taking care of the baby instead of letting me do it, nor would I want to be away from my older children for a month.
If you want more of a hands off, then you probably can request it. I mean shes cooking and cleaning so means more time for YOU to bond with the baby and not have to stress about that. She also knows how to make things to repair your body. I think its a great idea. Different for each client.
agree with you 100%
I agree. I had my parents. Mymother stayed for 6 weeks when i had my first. My dad came for 6 weeks with my second. It was such a great help!
Ok
Every new mom would love it.
I'm watching this video with my 3 weeks old baby lying next to me.
Loving every minute of this video.
Hope you and the little one are well, enjoy every moment.
I think all over the world has this kind of tradition. This is for moms to restore back their health after giving birth.
thariyyah azman No, on an international basis, this is unusual.
Mostly old world non-European cultures, I think. So yeah, all over the world.
Leah Laushway it really is all over the world but west
Fari It USED to be in the West; the Enlightenment and later, the Industrial Revolution, killed it.
susie C.
Nope mostly Europeans. It's very common for Latin grandmothers they take care of their daughters & grandchild for up to 2 months
I am so fortunate to have had my mum she took care of me so well after giving birth to my first baby. Depression hit me hard and she helped so much 💗 it is so important for moms to have all the support
definitely! my mother got help from her mother when she had me and my brother.
Actually a lot of African American families do this same thing. No going out and about soon after deviling a baby. No cold drinks after the birth either. No as for staying in the house 24/7 I never heard of that. A new mother needs time to recover. Great concept.
Just Me We just stay in the house as much as possible for about the first six weeks, we don't really think about it because we are spending the time learning how to care for and bonding with our baby.
Only go to babies 1st Dr. appointment during this time
I remember being told not to take a bath. Shower is OK. Don't go out because your body is open ( immune system ) don't take the baby out because of colic ect. My sister spoiled me. She took over Lol with all three of my boys. I love her soo. She never had kids so mine are hers
What ahh yeah ok not
I thought so. I always though all women took a a little over a month inside the house so that the baby doesn’t get sick and the mom can bond and learn about the baby
I live in the uk and with all 4 of my babies I came home to other kids, housework and making cups of teas for my visitors who wanted to look at the baby! I’d of loved this cuz I suffer from chronic fatigue syndrome so it would of benefitted me so much! I always had a houseful soon as I stepped foot in the door 🙄
Every mother should have this tradition! Recover, rest & enjoy bub for a bit :)
My mother perform these practices with me. We’re partly Creole and Apache Indian she stated it was passed down from her mother to her. I wasn’t allowed to bath, do any chores period. I was not allowed outside for eight weeks...I almost went insane but all of a sudden my zen and chakras kicked it...I had never been at more peace 😌
i like the idea of having so much help but i think its also a bit disruptive during the first few weeks of the vital mother and baby bonding.
I agree. I think having mother/baby bonding time & isolation so that the baby (& mom) is not at risk of illness are good. And having some help (especially if relatives are far away) is good if you are a brand new mother and have no previous children and no previous experience caring for a baby. I wish this was more common in North America since we have "maternity leave" for working mothers to stay home and care for their babies, but less of a tradition of family or professional help immediately after the birth.
I think it's a bit different for China especially b/c of the recent history. The older generations are looked on as not having modern education b/c of isolation, Cultural Revolution, etc. New parents would be skeptical of their mother's advice (not brushing teeth or bathing).
Liz Castaneda this is new to the Chinese population. My mom did this on her own with the help of my father. Letting someone else take care of your kid isn't a thing until recently
Liz Castaneda they do bond with their baby, she can feed when she wants or play when she wants even when they want mommy they will bring the baby to her. but I wish we gad this in the u. s.
It good it ways yeah
I have 2 babies in the West but keep the chinese tradition and it was perfect for my health and after 30 days i feel recharged and full of energy
The same tradition we have it in Saudi Arabia, but it's slightly different , it's called (alarbaeen) and means literally 40, woman supposed to stay at home for 40 days and she eat special food and drinks and must stay warm and not leave the house for 40 days, new mum find it hard so they stay with their mothers house to get help, and mostly visitors come to congrats the family and after that the new mum and baby can return home . in my opinion it's exaggeration and overly protective process
Here in Tunisia is the same . We have the 40 days too and the over clothing as to protect ourselves againts the colds etc . And we put olive oil in our hair and wrapped it around with some head scarf and oh the no bathing thing after 40 days . But I guess I'm not into traditions , I barely did anything of these . Even my wedding , I didnt follow traditions like henna or hammam or big weddings . I'm more of doing my thing than following any traditions .
mishael aljuaid In Kerala, India. We too follow a similar routine. Boiled water, extra clothes, special food and avoiding certain foods and oil treatments for baby and the mother and many other rules.
mishael aljuaid Of course it's in Saudi Arabia too. Just for the womens entire life.
Things have changed there, Saudi Arabian women enjoy things now they couldn't over a decade ago. Some areas are loosening up a bit. The people have adapted to it, and many are calling for more convenient rules ... don't try to dishearten a culture that's slowly coming to terms with the rest of the modernized world.
Lærke Bundgård This offensive and disrespectful comment only shows your ignorant narrow-minded view of the world which does not accept the diversity :)
If Saudi women are living their culture, which you don't accept, it doesn't allow you to judge them based on your culture.
well, according to them, you can be judged as being a woman who is being objectified by her culture which doesn't respect her to the extent of having a harrassment and rape every 9 minutes according to your govermental statistics. After that, you're being left at the elderly house with no children to care for you. Sometimes a lot of western women are living a homeless life. No need to say that your payment is less than men's payment ;)
You can't see any of this in Saudi Arabia due to the respect they pay for women as mothers, wives, sisters and daughters.
My mom came to stay with me for the first three weeks and it was a great help! But her tasks were food, the household, laundry. The baby tasks were for me! After all, that's why I got the child in the first place. The first baths etc. are just magical events - scary but magical.
Within the African-American community, people don't usually take their babies out for about three months traditionally. It's considered unsafe for exposing the baby to illnesses too early.
catwomanbd I'm American and I never took my babies out of the house for first 3 months other then to their Dr appointment.
I am a black American I was only restricted for 6 weeks. The hardest part was not washing my hair for that time. Lol It is shocking to me that people find this as odd or crazy, I always assumed most people did this in some form! It promotes healing and you get to bond with your baby and learn how to be a mother.
catwomanbd my parents took me out. They had to. Both of them worked and I needed extra doctor’s appointments because I was a premie
i'm not african american, though we do the same. i wasn't taken outside until i was at least six months old. it's a practice that makes a lot of sense. babies are incredibly vulnerable.
I would've loved to have a confinement after each of my three babies! My mother died when I was in teenager and although my loving husband did his best it would have been great to rest and enjoy the new baby with support from a caring woman, especially as I had anemia and was very physically tired. I also got an infection after my last child was born.
This is amazing! We also practice this among my family in New Zealand (We are Maori/Polynesians). Our mothers usually come an help, we don't leave our houses for 30 Days as well.
After my c section and staying in hospital 9 days I went home and my husband helped me as much as possible then I went to my mums house and my 3 bro n mum helped me for 30 days. So I’ve rested 39 days. Plus I’ve taken a year off uni so I was a stay at home for 1yr and returning back to study in 2019 InshAllah. Spending 1 yr with my baby was precious I made sure his eating habits is good, sleep routine and if his taking supplements, hitting milestones everything’s well Alhamdurillah, I also simulate his brain with activities n he wants to explore. I’m British born and was lucky enough to have all the support I did. Even before pregnancy my brother took me to the hospital, clinics and midwife appointments every week by car MashAllah. I thank everyone that helped me, couldn’t have done it without my family, this is my first child.
This tradition is not only found and practiced in China, even here in the Pacific Islands its mostly family members that helps with the care of a New Born member while the Mother rest for as long as she needs, considering PPD in women after giving birth. The Mother and Baby have their time to emotionally connect with each other but is supervised by another female and when Baby falls asleep we usually give an hour or two to separate them from each other.
I'm from Nigeria and we have a similar system in South East Nigeria where the mother of the new mom comes after the birth to help her daughter. She takes special care of the baby and cooks all sorts of delicacies meant to help whip the new mom back to her old self. Its called 'omugwo' and I think its extremely important.
in Ethiopia confinement is also a custom that deeply rooted in the culture of Ethiopians.new mothers who give birth for a baby boy expected to remain indoors for 40 days and who give birth for baby girl they expected to say for 80 consecutive days. like Chinese they will follow a strict set of rules excluding not washing their hair and eating pig's feet soup. surprisingly the mother in low plays the major role in giving care for the new mother as well as the new born baby.
Eleni Alemu ugh! If i had to spend 40-80 days with my mother in law I'd kill myself
actually its not the mother in law, its the mother. traditionally you have to go back to your own mom but nowadays people don't do it.
am ethiopian and was alone with my baby but trust me my connection with my baby is different look at the mom when the baby is crying she couldnt even pat him correctly and you know the bond is different just saying😊 and me n my hubby we love and adore all the excpirence and cherish every moment
Eleni Alemu
in brazil we have confinement for 40 days too, it's called resguardo, during that time the mother can shower and wash her hair but she shouldn't do things like home chores, or lifting heavy things. She also shouldn't have strong emotions, like, she shouldn't get too upset or bothered, or her breast milk might dry out. the baby also is not recommended to have any visits during this time. I think its just the european/heavily eurocentric cultures that don't have the confinement time...
I am British/Canadian...when i had my first child 43 years ago...it was understood I would not take the baby out for the first month...my Mum came with food ...nearly every day..friends came by to help out...with laundry...chatting....it was a time for bonding with the baby...napping when the baby napped...and recouping my energy....was a nice time...no pressure to do or go any where...
I will say that the only major problem with the Chinese mom's practice is that my doctors told me that walking every day after birth was important to speed healing. Lack of walking would actually slow down the healing process.
5t
I guess different culture has different approach on this. Some of the theories here are even come from thousand years ago (especially the food, nutrition, and the qi). So there is the answer.
Samatha just because it’s an old tradition doesn’t mean it helps heal any faster. I’m not saying anything against this practice - I just wouldn’t discount modern doctors.
Also I wouldn’t have the discipline to stay inside for a month 😂
Walking helps prevent blood clots as well.
This prevails in India too, and it's really helpful, only thing I haven't heard is such a professional confinement lady
Pseudoscience about food and water aside, the idea of having a 24 hour nanny the first month of the baby's life sounds great. Having a baby is pretty overwhelming and having a professional there to help you through the first days would help a lot, though it would be better if they didn't promote all the superstitious stuff about not going out or wearing winter clothes in the heat.
LynxChan, it's not pseudo science and it's not superstition. It may however be low tech by today's standards. But these thing were put into place during times when we did not ha e practicing medical doctors, pharmaceuticals, and hospital facilities. Through out history many babies and mother's died. These measures considerably increased survival. This was done all over the world in various ways. It works.
The ingredients she uses are healthy stuff. Good food speeds up the recovering phase.
You can't label thing psuedoscience if modern scientist aren't capable of explaining why a lot of old traditional people continued to do it
It's common practise in many Asian country
@@nehashrivastav7552 Why can't women bathe or even brush their teeth? Brushing their teeth with cold water can give them a cold or something I assume. This confinement thing seems so based on old wives tale.
What's practiced or passed on from many traditions doesn't necessarily mean it's appropriate or the perfect method. The only thing I agree with is that it is very beneficial to have an assistant minus all the other stuff.
Aw i wish i had this . Id probably wouldnt have gotten postpartum depression if i had someone to help me . Actually learning new things
Hispanic culture does this too its called "la cuarentena"
In Haiti also!
basically 40 days
@Jenn Jenn yes mam maybe not too this extreme. Hispanic moms almost always expect for you to go back home for the 40 days, or they move in with you lol. They help take care of and you and baby with the must have hand me down list of do's and don'ts because "this is what your abuela did for me and her mother before that". And the obligatory homemade linen girdle to help your belly get back to normal. Although it kinda of defeats the purpose because she insists you eat oatmeal 3x's a day because "it helps you produce more breast milk" lmao. And it's free! And they get bragging rights that she did everything w/the baby first. It's such a blessing especially when you have your 2nd, 3rd, 4th however many kids you have had.😊
@@Artemis_me >.> I want a Hispanic mum now.
in italian quarantena means isolating someone who has a sort of disease
I think this is awesome! Every new mom and baby should be looked after like that.
I think this is great. Gives a break to new moms and babies are taken care of nicely
I would have LOVED this.
It would be nice if some women got together and opened a confinement house for those that can afford it.(nothing too expensive). Provide an extra service via donations for first time mothers with no family support would be really useful. Set up small mothers group to give advice and share experiences.
This is wonderful. I love a confinement lady. Everyone is so well looked after. Love it.
It is such a narrow perspective to assume using a confinement centre means only consumerism and "delayed onset parenting" like a "parenting disneyland". Confinement is a tradition that is meant to help new mothers. It is particularly helpful in modern society in my opinion since most young mothers now have to return to work soon after giving birth. Getting used to having someone help take care of the baby is not only helpful but healthy for the mom to focus on her recuperation and later on in balancing her work and baby. Having a baby doesn't mean the mother needs to then only be all about the baby, when help can be achieved to have a healthier, more rounded and balanced lifestyle, why not? Why try to do it all by yourself, when studies have proven over and over again that it is only detrimental in the end and those that tried end up losing on both ends.
Amanda Pj I totally agree. It's disgusting how the west ostracise any mother who makes time for herself. We need to prioritise mothers happiness and wellness so she can be a better mother, all the stress women go through in the first few months is underrated. Parents are basically slaves to their offspring in the western world and called selfish otherwise, we are beyond the idea of a family unit.
I completely agree with you but as everything with western culture give it 20 years and they will soon have confinement centers and brand it as an innovative birthing trend as if that's, not something other cultures have been doing for centuries.
For health reasons and such it seems great. But for the child not so much. That mother didnt even know how to comfort her 3 week old baby. That's a huge issue. She needs more time hands on with her child. More contact. Skin to skin. Feeding... all of that is necessary.
There should be a balance of both.
@@atxbrighteyes it's true but to be fair to her it seemed 3 other women couldn't wait to scoop up her baby or tell her what to do! (The nurse, her mom and mother-in-law). Once she is on her own she will soon learn, the baby will tell her what he wants! At least she would've had plenty of sleep and rest and good nutrition to get her strength back. The baby is only a month old, she has plenty of time to be with her baby alone. Although I prefer the lady who came to your home, then she fits around your life and routine and you learn to take care of the baby in familiar surroundings.
@@idylledoll you're ignoring the capitalism, classism, racism, jobmarket and sexism that contribute to this in "the west " and when you talk this way about the child and mother care you actively contributein ng to the society that doesn't want to care for them properly
I wish every mother, new or not had a great support system when baby is born. It really is such a blessing.
Confinement lady does help a lot. It has been proven in Malaysia since we practice it during the old days. But somehow, China doing it far better by taking it to the next level. It helps women from getting depression after labor. Mums need a lot of TLC, not just physically but mentally. Food plays an important role. Not just food but sufficient sleep as well.
In some ways, confinement is brilliant, particularly for mother's showing signs of post-natal depression/anxiety. We need such support, but rarely have it.
I did right for 2 weeks, one month was too hard for me to follow. but even 2 weeks was big help too. That maybe good reason why Chinese women look younger.
How wonderful is it to have a baby in China, I know after having my first baby, I was completely overwhelmed, I cried every time my baby cried thinking I’d done something wrong. I was 20 and I am the eldest of 7 children, so not a young teen, and you could say I had a lot of practice, but it’s totally different when the baby is yours. My husband helped, but he was no more knowledgeable about babies as I was. It took nearly 12 years to have my second baby and it was just like having my first baby all over again. It seemed all the rules had changed. It would have been so wonderful to have had help, guidance, and someone there just to answer the big questions “am I doing this right” “is that normal” “do all babies do that”. To have had someone there to look after both the baby and myself, well, you’d feel like royalty.
Tho it is amazing, I feel like it dulls mother's instincts to actually take care for the child herself....
In India, the confinement period is of 40 days. Baths are also taken on special days. Mother is supposed to keep warm. Mother is not supposed to do household chores and special foods are prepared for her mostly with clarified butter, dry fruits, nuts, and other herbs which are thought to have medicinal and herbal properties. I don't personally agree to the confinement practice.
I m Indian and this type of custom is also practiced in India with minimum one and half months of rest..and you get 6 months maternity and 3 years child care leave too..I feel so lucky..
I felt great right after birth and i never would have let anyone but me handle my babies, i had 3 loved every moment
This is a practice in Africa as well. The mother and the baby only get to see the outside world after a month. It's mostly for health reasons, for the mother to recuperate well after giving birth. During that month, the new mother and the baby is well taken care of by her mother or mother in law or s relative.
I am Vietnamese and I’ve had to do this for the first month with my first 3 babies - but baby #4 I did not. Could not go outside for a month. My baby wasn’t allowed to leave the house either. I also was not allowed to walk or stand longer than a couple minutes - basically I was expected to be bed ridden and rotting (literally) because I wasn’t allowed to get wet by showering or bathing - not even brushing my teeth - strict diet ETC ETC ETC - the one month of rest and not letting my baby outside makes sense. I don’t believe in taking my newborns out anyways because they aren’t strong enough to handle it but the other things were so extreme but I had to do it.
In Tanzania, Africa , some of the tribe stays strictly Confinement 40 days, and then you stay with a help of a mother in law, or mother or sister not doing any heavy duties, and have special meals for 3 months, after that you are on your own..
BUT
Gaining weight is the sign of being taken care of after birth :)
I love confinement and I have never had a child, but if I have a baby I want the confinement lady in my home, this is such a lovely cultural practise... it is like a super nanny!!!
A vitally important benefit of the "confinement" period after giving birth: Prevention & healing of post-partum depression.
Either hiring a full-time private "confinement assistant" or living in a "conefinement clinic" for a month or longer , the new mother isn't left alone to cope with her new baby & her own depleted health conditions. she would be eased into the situation with gradual learning & practice. She would receive appropriate attention & support when she needs it.
In the west, post-partum depression has ranged from the new mother feeling listless, hopeless & lethargic to commiting suicides. However, it hasn't resulted in compassionate effective medical treatments other than prescription drugs. Many new mothers feel isolated & helpless, & their male partners or relatives are not even aware of this medical condition & are clueless in dealing with it.
I am a supporter of this. I don't have this in my country, but in Cyprus it exists. There is also a period of 40 days after a woman gives birth that she stays home. My mother in law helped me so much. After this experience, I am closer with her.
Sounds amazing! We should have something like that here in the USA. Would be so great for new moms to have the help. The first month is the hardest.
Get together with a group of mums and set something up. A lot of women could do with some support but have nowhere to go.
Wow. I just had a baby on May 1st by c-section. I probably took her out too early but I took her out at two weeks. I can't stay inside forever.She didn't get sick. She's healthy. 7 weeks today.
The fresh air is good for the baby and the exercise is good for you .
I haven't been able to get out of my house for more than 3 months.. not pregnant or with a child... just taking care of a disabled person.
Momo Momoko u r a great person🌹🌺
H M you are so nice, so sweet,thank you!.
Then it's going to be forever for you, as baby can become independent after childhood whereas disabled person will forever need your help.
We share the same tradition. I never get tired of watching this
My mom had 7 kids and none of us left the house for 3 months except for checkups. If my mom left, it was for appointments only as well. Barely anyone was allowed to hold us. This was her decision and to this day, I still think she was crazy, lol, love you mom
How is your health, are you healthier than the average peer?
Not crazy at all. Think of the babies immune system. It's vulnerable. There was a story not to long ago that this couple brought their new born to the their wedding. Apparently someone kissed the baby and it died a few days later due to whooping cough.
dude this is just common sense to rest, eat right, recover and take care of the baby especially for the first month
Omugo we call this in Nigeria, just perfect. But often done by lady's mum or mother in law for two months
That's so interesting!
How lucky these women are. Being a new mother is not easy on the body from what I've heard..so it's cool that these mothers who can afford it get some time to relax.
"staying indoor, skipping shower and pig feet soup might not be everyone's cup of tea but confinement also means mothers in China can expect full time support for at least a month after child's birth and that sounds like one tradition worth keeping."
Wow love this summary - Beautiful end to this documentary. I enjoyed watching it while doing my work. hahaha
I could never have let someone else do all the changing and holding and comforting of my baby for the first month.. Even in the hospital I never let the nurses take my baby or let them leave the room without me. I like the idea of confinement but not having the other woman do so much for the baby i guess..
It would be a major bonding time for the mom and child, and to have that taken away....NO, but to give the mom a lot of help so she can recover, that's good. C-section or birth...major trauma to the body, even if birth is a natural thing.
My fathers mother did the exact same thing for my mom and I when I was born, only difference is she had to stay in for 40 days. Bulgarian tradition is not so different from Chinese, old civilizations knowledge! Great video
All traditions around the world have this, but feminism and industrialization made it faded into obscurity.
The baby at the beginning makes it look like having a child wouldn't be that bad.. misleading XD
No problem... please don't have children
+Ese Omoru spot on reply.
blondecat666 it's sad really... self obsessed narcissists like meldralala over here complain about babies when they don't even have one..... really makes me sad for any children they might potentially have who would have to put up with such selfish parents.
Meldralala just so you know little "Ms. Me" parenting is all about self sacrifice... if you can't sacrifice your time and self for your child don't have a baby... stay by yourself alright? We've already got one too many incompetent selfish twats having children who just have to put up with them
You guys completely misunderstood what I was saying smh
My mother in law was tough as nails. Her mom famously gave birth, then got up and started working. I heard about that many times. I refused to be pushed into doing "more" after birth of the first born. It wasn't easy dealing with so much conflicting advice from everyone, esp other mothers with experience. Sometimes I had to get firm and yell for people to leave me alone in peace and quiet! Getting my husband to keep quiet (he's noisy) and defend me was also a thing. Phew! Somehow all 4 kids are grown and healthy.
isn't this this like the Muslim/south Asian tradition of staying home 40 days and shaving the hair
Yes, exactly. Even male-female segregation in Ancient China is very similar to segregation in Islam but just without hijab style veil. Ancient China use curtain instead. Even Chinese have similar culture to Islam Ta'aruf.
Its really great to see how different cultures do things. The way my whole family was was opposite. We really didn't let anyone touch our newborns except maybe family for the first month. I love seeing different perks experiences
it strange for me to see this when I had my first baby I did not want anyone to touch her or be away from her for a minute.
This is such a smart idea! It gives new parents the knowledge they need to care for a child and relieves the stress of the mother. They also probably help with post partum depression, too. This should be standard worldwide.
I gave birth to two children in the United States. The first one was born 28 years ago, the second one 23 years ago. There was no confinement at all and no help at home because my mother had died long before and the paternal grandmothers were not present and whatever help with newborns there was was up to the insurance companies. And they did not care to invest. The eldest was four weeks premature, the youngest was 3 weeks premature.
I was lucky with my eldest to be granted three days in the hospital and really blessed with an elder nurse who helped me breastfeed, because this child did not figure out to do this. Above all I had a female friend, a co-worker who did not let me go home, but insisted that I stay at her house for two weeks so that I could rest, and learn (she was an experienced older mother) how to take properly care of my newborn.
My second child was born during the period of 24 hour hospital stay after giving birth for new mothers. I was lucky again because my obstetrician managed to convince the insurance company to let me stay for 48 hours because of complications during pregnancy - a rare luxury at that time. After that they sent me home to a house with three young children all under age 7 (including my stepdaughter) with a prescription of Percocet to relieve the pain of uterus contraction. After it took me 3 hours to pack my bag for going home, I decided that Percocet did work for me to be capable of caring for my newborn at home I did not even fill that prescription. Even though I was promised help at home with my newborn I rejected this service because the phone call arrive three weeks after I left the hospital. What good would that do me after all of that time of being by myself with the baby - and the other two children - while my husband was working. I was not just angry, I was incensed. The reality of it was that the insurance did not care for the post natal care of my child or myself. All they cared for was not spending money.
Traditionally, in Europe, where I come from, a mother's confinement is a week. During that time mothers were cared for by relatives who did the cooking, cleaning, shopping etc., and they were also taking care of the other children or new mothers stayed in hospital for a week which allows a new mother to get some rest. I do not understand why insurance companies in the USA believe that giving birth is akin to having a wart removed! On the contrary: pregnancy and childbirth are exhausting, physically and mentally, and even more importantly - a new mother who has to feed her newborn every 3 to 4 hours every day suffers not only from sleep deprivation - she spends her days in a fog of semi-consciousness that endangers the newborn, herself, and the rest of the family particularly when there are no family members alive or available to help her out, let alone the help she is promised by the "system" that does not arrive or arrives way too late.
Four weeks of confinement may, perhaps, be excessive. But one week or two would help so, so much - actual, real help that is.
I would like all of you to know that it took me two years to recover from each of the two births. But I would also like you to know that I was one of the privileged mothers in the United States, a woman with a Ph.D, an academic career and full benefits. I am afraid to imagine what it would be like for a new mother with no benefits, no prenatal care, the most basic care when giving birth, and no post natal care whatsoever. This must change in the United States of America.
Susi Colin
Thank you so much for your understanding and kindness of what it’s like to be a mother of a new born here in the US. I have three grown children and looking back it was not easy. This insurance business of ,”Have your baby, now go home so we don’t have to pay a unnecessary hospital bill.” Is truly detrimental to the health of both mother and baby. For many years, after the births and raising three small ones each only two year apart, I often suffered with depression and resentment. This takes it’s tole on the entire family.
Agreed! We are an American military family and we were posted to another base and had to move two weeks after my daughter was born. And that's a common story among my other friends who are military spouses. We traveled across the country with a three week old and had to move into a new home while learning how to care for a newborn. Honestly, my parents saved our sanity, but they both took out three weeks vacation time to help us. I am eternally grateful to them, but that should never happen. Especially if your spouse is serving in the armed forces, that's stressful enough. How the US does pre and post- natal care is out of control.
In my country botswana in Africa this happens all the time it's a cultural thing
Its called bonding and is vital to a childs mental health, without bonding they are at risk of attachment disorder.
Well put!!! I adopted my daughter and went home for 6 weeks with my husband. She is now 31 and I think we did great with her.
@@normam.atchley9856 I feel sorry for her and her real mother.
I did something similar for my sister when she had her kids. I'm a midwife, so it made sense to me that I help. I left after 3 weeks, I was home for 2 days and my sister asked me to come back. So I spent another 3 weeks with her. Same with her next baby. Not everyone has the time or money to spend months with family helping. I'm grateful I could be there, and I'm very close with my nephews. It would be nice if we could help every mother out more, not just ones that have just given birth.
Same here but the mom stays for 40 days not a month and her mom helps her with the baby and feeds her nutritional food to get her bones stronger
In Korea they have the thing for close to a month where it's not really a confinement thing but it's just from a helping perspective where the mom stays with the baby and the dad goes home. Doctors and nurses help the mom and teach her. I'd love that too
I am pretty sure the baby is way happier by just letting him to sleep in peace and keep drinking milk
Im lucky enough that my mother in law has decided to help me and travel 6 hours to live with me for the first month when my twins are born, I honestly think we should treat mothers better in western cultures.
It’s very common for Chinese families to have a nanny to do chores even for those not in the upper class. A list of things that happen during confinement: you can’t wash your hair for the month. You have to have chicken soup everyday. You can’t use the AC. You can wash your body/shower and can only wipe down with warm water and a special leaf. There is a whole boo of things that you can’t eat. You can’t leave the bed, except to use the restroom.
The purpose is to get 1-month good care and rest, after such a big event with her body exhausted. A new mom needs to recover well, which is so difficult when she has to take care of a new baby, feeding every 2-3 hours, learning a million details about baby-care. Every new mom needs a lot of help/care/training, and this service is just so precious. Not to go out is to prevent the possibility of catching a cold, or running into some accidents. Many women do go out within the first month, but not for long distances. It's due to safety consideration.
Even it might be difficult to taking care a new born but you miss out the most valuable thing in life. It's the question of value.
Lillian Lin yes!! My son is 20 and many of special moments were made getting up to rock and feed him. So 🥰