Mine is a black satin bolero from the 90s that I thrifted! I don't wear it often cause I'm scared of messing it up and also, it's quite extra lol. It feels so me tho, especially the puffy sleeves it has. Also, my giant spiked choker! It's my baby 🥹 I wear it anywhere and everywhere, even just the grocery store, the spikes are like 4-5 inches. It also doubles as self defense if I need it 🤭
vintage-style offwhite blouse with poofy flowing sleeves, paired with a set of moss green trousers got me living my vintage/renn faire/somewhat cottage-core dream lol
I think we are all WAY overthinking things. Once I became an adult, I realized that what I liked on other people and what looked good on my body were different things. Once I understood that my body is the only one that looks exactly like me I realized the point is to find clothes that feel and look good on me (to me, my mom disagrees 😆) and nothing else matters. Now I mostly prioritize how the material feels on my skin (so only natural fibers), have worn the same clothes for 10 years and have been recently trying to learn how to sew my own clothes because I honestly hate everything I see in the stores now.
Same! I actually enjoy the kibbe method, seasonal analysis etc exactly because of it. I'm not shooting in the dark, I just buy what suits me and makes me happy, and if a trend happens to fall under this venn diagram, great. If not, I'll be wearing hot pink jumpsuits until the end of times
the solution is for us to perhaps stop using the internet so much, as it is a personal choice and we don’t have to listen to what people tell us to overthink about! tiktok strikes again
Hahaha I also just decided to say fuck it and learn how to sew. I'm just starting but I actually grabbed a pristine Bernina 930 at an estate sale last year for $125!! To me what I want is quality material from a longevity perspective. I want to figure out EXACTLY what shapes and measurements look good on me, and get high quality clothes I can wear for a long, long time (and enjoy doing it). My ADHD hates making decisions, so I try to get high quality stuff to delay having to make more decisions 😅. I know sewing isn't cheaper than fast fashion, but it'll be cheaper than buying clothes of the quality I actually want. Even though learning to sew at the quality I want will be a longgg time investment, I think it'll be a great and useful (for many things!) hobby, and I'm looking forward to getting deeper into it.
As someone who grew up poor and only wore hand me downs until I was in college, I don’t have a style and honestly, I don’t personally mind. Half the time I wear graphic t-shirts and jeans. I’m incredibly relieved I didn’t have to worry about clothing trends a kid, it seems expensive and tiring to keep up.
Having a style doesn't mean being trendy or spending a lot. Our outfits say things. You just told a story about what you usually wear and what your clothes mean to you. That sounds like a style. Even if you don't think about it very much, your jeans, your tees, and the art on your graphic tees, were all designed by people who put in a fair amount of thought. (For more information, see Miranda's "pile of stuff" monologue from "The Devil Wears Prada.") You have more personal style than anyone who just buys every trendy item because it makes them feel something.
style can be communicated through the same outfits worn differently. Do you ever tuck in your shirt cause it looks nice with your pants? Or to look professional in an interview? Then you've styled yourself! Everyone has a sense of style, realising it is just down to how much time they spend thinking about it outside of getting dressed. Buying clothes isn't style, as the person above me stated
Same here. My wardrobe is mismatched: shirts, short pants, jeans of various length, and shein type of outfits for outings. I have depression so it's overwhelming and trying to put an intricate look together. I have gufted bags that I barely use
@@Aelffwynn I always thought a style meant a type look or aesthetic. I kind of have an eclectic style I suppose but you’re right, everyone has a style or fluctuates between them. Didn’t consider that, thanks for the insight
The crochet pieces I make for myself are my absolute favorite and feel the most "me" ❤ They are made to my measurements, in my favorite colors and I get to wear my art.
I knit and sew my own clothes and I agree, I adore the pieces I've made for myself. How else am I going to get a dinosaur tank top or a dinosaur hoodie as an adult? ;)
Your normalness in appearance and “set design” (regular house) is what makes you so enjoyable to watch. You dont seem to perform, you’re just you. And it’s nice and refreshing
Totally agree!!! Also, I got super excited about Tiffany’s pregnancy (because new era of internet relationship duhhh) also, for me, as a 29yo with 2 kids, I’m looking forward to creators and content that reflects on motherhood and not only a “how to” on what to get shit done (which I appreciate, but there are enough already) Sending all my love and iron ❤
Here's how my mum taught me to shop for clothes and it's helped me - if you don't love it or need it, don't buy it - think about what the elements of the clothes you do love, what is it you like about these garments, and make the most of it when it's in style - if you really love the way you look in a piece you're not going to care that much if it's on trend - if you feel tired with an item put in the back of your cupboard for a couple years and then revisit and you're still not feeling it, donate it - the only persons opinion that really matters on your sense of style is your own My favourite clothing piece is one i got second hand, it's from a french brand and it's a little summer dress with a 50s inspired cut and simple print
Aesthetics are the ultimate symbol of commodification of the experience of growing up. Hear me out. I'm currently reading a novel called Camilla, written in the 1790s. It's about a group of upper class young people (aged 15-21) coming out into the world. These characters have the SAME fundamental issues teenagers face today: insecurity, wanting to be accepted by their peers, being unsure of their identity etc. What is NOT the same is how they solve these problems. Not once were any of their concerns solved by buying anything. On the contrary, characters that are too concerned with dress and fashion are seen as vain, and ridiculous. Instead, they lean on their family, friends and eachother. They do what feels right and learn from their mistakes. My theory is that aesthetics are just yet another attempt to solve the problems of young adulthood through consumerism. Buying into a subculture helps to create a sense of community and belonging. And these days, it's easier to purchase than it is to socialise. The only problem with aesthetics as a form of self-expression and connection, is that it's ultimately shallow. You cannot connect with other people purely by owning the same stuff as them. Unlike the teenagers of the 1790s that are the subject of Camilla (and young people in the past in general), modern young people are mainly connecting with others not through shared experiences, but through things that symbolise belonging to a specific group. Whether that shift is positive, negative or neutral, is up for debate. All I am saying, is that the shift has happened.
My two cents as someone who has had a personal aesthetic since I was a young teenager, is that having a strong sense of personal style actually does help with connection, but not just connection with other people with the same style. I'm an awkward, neurospicy person, and I don't initiate conversations with people very often. But the fact that I'm dressed like a 1950s Ms Frizzle invites a lot of other people to initiate a conversation about my fun outfit, and it can sometimes lead to deeper friendships forming down the line. A strong sense of style can be an interesting icebreaker. I don't often run into anyone with a similar style, but I did at the coffee shop a few months ago, and now we're crafting together and forming a friendship. The whole conversation was started because she complimented me on my outfit, which got us talking about our mutual interest in historical fashion and then our crafting hobbies. Just throwing this out there because I do agree that if a young person thinks finding their sense of style is a necessity for "adulting," you're so right that that is not going to work and playing into consumerism. If someone is expressing themselves this way because it's just more fun and easier than trying to fit in, it can end up leading to deeper connections in an interesting way some of the time.
Just as a side note : if they do not seems interested in clothing maybe it's also because characters had to demonstrate more moral qualities at the time and it does not mean thématique those issues weren't présent. But it's really interesting how you put it and i guess they key is, as always, capitalism. Basing our identities and social relationships on shit to but just doesn't work. I also agree with the other comment i have a strong personal style too, to the point i don't get how you can "look for" your own (so mysterious) and it's not based on a lot of shopping either and isn't an issue except for fitting in i guess wich i almost never tried. My style isn't really for others, it has always been for me first and that helped me grow i guess, not in a comodified way. But l agree that looking for a style, especially when it just equals buying shit, doesn't help in any way.
my “personal style” is a mixture of clothes that are colors i like (mauve/millennial pink, moss green/sage, think desaturated floral colors and anything that isn’t dark) and some vintage style dresses and skirts lol. i can’t imagine switching between aesthetics every month on a whim 😭 and in my attempt to be more eco-conscious, i barely buy new clothes, even if i would looove a closet full of vintage-style dresses and skirts (not that i can afford them). honestly my only advice for finding your own style is basing things around colors more than style - it’s always easier to find something you like if you have a palette to work with that you enjoy, rather than trying to find what style or cut is the trendiest at the moment!
I definitely agree with this I have a bubblegum pastel rainbow colour palette that I keep for all my clothes (although I have black clothes for school and work) it's nice because the colours feel like me :)
I've slowly realized that, at this point, I like combining a traditionally masc piece with a fem one. "Masc grandma" is the phrase I've been using lately to describe it. Getting a big black/grey ink tattoo of wildflowers on my arm was also a GAMECHANGER. I love it. I feel hot. I feel "me" because gardening is a favourite hobby of mine. Paired with curly hair and bangs, I felt like you gave me an indirect compliment on my personal style!
What’s funny to me is I only ever see people wearing these “aesthetics” on line. I have never been at the supermarket or coffee shop and saw someone dressed like a cottage core girly or a ballerina girly, hell, I haven’t even seen anyone dressed “high fashion” in my everyday life, except for social events like concerts or music festivals. For context I live in Atlanta GA.
I never saw people dressed like this until I had difficulty finding parking near a major hospital and ended up parking near an upscale shopping street in Beverly Hills. I finally saw people dressed this way (cottage core leaning) while they crossed the street. Also, at the airport, I saw someone dressed like a minimalist fashion influencer, but her oversized blazer and wide legged pants overwhelmed her small frame. She also wore her hair with a middle part slicked back, a plain tee, and minimal gold jewelry.
I saw people in various styles all the time when I was in univeristy! I would dress up every day for class, too. I also tend to stick to my fave styles really heavily even on casual days, so I am 100% over dressed at the supermarket 😅
My question about personal style: why does everyone need to have one? I don't think I have a personal style, and the idea that it would be important to me feels so strange. I certainly love my clothes and like to dress well, but different days call for different things. So why have just one style?
thats another aspect of it; the idea that we need to perfectly fit into one singular box. but its impossible. humans are too complex, we're always changing and learning new things. we're eventually going to grow out of the label we decided will define us. or at the very least, we will expand the label to include more aspects into it to make it less narrow. but even then, i totally agree with not sticking to one singular thing, its too suffocating.
I think however you’re the most comfortable IS your personal style. You don’t have to throw together an unconventional outfit for it to be personal. Jeans and a t shirt can be your personal style if that’s what you truly enjoy wearing.
Most “me” items are ironically my mom’s and my grandmother’s pieces lol. Very kindly, they pass on their vintage/old clothes or they just give it when I say I like them and I combine them with modern pieces. I have actually shared with them that when I wear their clothes I feel supported and comforted because I remember them wearing these when I was a kid and admiring them so much❤ Also the fact that cloth quality was so good that my mother could keep clothes that were not high end or anything in perfect shape for 30-40 years speaks volumes. But that’s another tangent.
I was always wearing hand me downs as a child. But I loved them, 80s Adidias turqouise, violett tracksuits, volleyball team sweaters, etc. My most "me" item would be any sweater that has the 80s bowling-alley carpet or bus seat fabric patterns!
My uniform is black boots, black fishnets, black shorts, black crop top sometimes with a vest. My friends daughter drew me and nailed it. I've always wanted to adventure outside of that so it's comforting to hear that it's a good thing.
I only found my style when I stopped buying new clothes and started thrifting (while still being mindful about not over-consuming). I love natural fibers, particularly linen and silk, and I’ve gotten the coolest pieces secondhand. My friend described my style as “bougie whimsy goth” which seems like a good fit. I’m also in my early 30s and my style was all over the place throughout my teens and 20s - experimenting is half the fun, just don’t buy something super expensive until you have a good sense of what lasts in your wardrobe! The best part about having a cohesive style is how easily you can mix and match pieces - it helps eliminate the urge to shop because there are always new options to explore in your closet.
I'm a BIG FAN of outfit repeats. Being autistic/adhd and into fashion is wild because when I find a hit fit I will literally wear those items together and separately until they disintegrate off my body. These comfort outfits and pieces are so important when you're neurospicy or get easily overwhelmed by getting ready for work/events. I literally have a melt down if I can't put together an outfit quickly enough because my comfort items are in the laundry/need repair, the dysregulating leading to spiraling is real :')
I understand the appeal of shopping online and curating style boards online, but what best helped me develop my personal "style" (in quotes because it's, of course, ever changing) is to actually try a million clothes on! It can be physically and emotionally exhausting for people for a number of reasons, but it's the best way to develop a strong instinct for what different clothes and silhouettes *actually* look like on you. Now, when there's a new *idea* I want to incorporate into my appearance, I have a fairly strong intuition for what pieces I've tried on before inspired that same feeling--because chances are, the person or outfit that inspired the idea won't have the same effect on my body.
I bought new clothes for the first time in months and months a couple weeks ago and it was freeing to pass on the pieces that are on the edge of my comfort zone and just LEAN IN to what I actually go for in life: big tshirts and cargo shorts/pants! It’s not crazy to me so I almost forget this isn’t what everyone’s standard outfit looks like. My comfort zone is someone else’s risky zone and vice versa
My personal style has expanded a lot from watching 2 RUclipsrs. One whose style is much more eccentric than mine (Kathleen Illustrated) and one whose style is much less eccentric than mine (Hannah Louise Poston). They both are great at framing different ways of thinking about clothes, styling, trying new things, finding investment pieces, etc. So even though I may not emulate either of their vibes, their ideas help me develop my own.
I think I just need to admit that my style is just: polished hair, makeup and accessories with a uniform. I’ve been in a uniform most of my life and now at my work.
On the topic of the aspirational style (25:58) I've realized that what I want to truly wear vs. what I actually wear are quite different, but that's because of chronic bloating for the past 3 years (recently learned this was IBS and not fat) - which made me limit my choice of clothing to how to best cover up a bloat and also not restrict the bloating as it would be painful.
im a former ballerina in the chat! the ballerinas generally dislike ballet core, but it’s pretty funny! it’s like a little glam cosplay and of course not authentic at all. Like we were wearing 1 holey legwarmer that smells like tiger balm because we’re hoping our old achilles injury does not flare up. we are not wearing brand-new matching amazon legwarmers to the store 😭
I find personal style for me means clothes that get me through the day successfully, in my case I used to be a super fashion focused kid and have grown to lose that sense of my identity so trying to rediscover it and balance it with my actual day to day routine has been interesting. Stopping your shopping or slowing it down is how I believe the only way to really find it is, to work with what you have and recognize those patterns. It's all science baby and we have to test the actual potential results. Not everything will be a success but trying new things from what you have and getting a negative or positive reaction for that day and taking a moment to acknowledge "Oh I didn't like wearing this out because I felt x reason" or the opposite. This can be a really fun challenge, I have a really colorful closet but recognizing the actual tones I am wearing and how they can pair together has made my day to day outfits really exciting. (I also wear a uniform for work, so excess clothes buying isn't necessary because I am wearing the same thing a good chunk of the days) Clothing was so fun for me when I was young and couldn't drive or leave the house and had excess time to prioritize my appearance. Now I have places to be and my priorities are just different. I used to not be able to go for an unprepared walk because of heels and thick fabrics so instead of the attempted style and version of myself I wanted to be seen as I prioritized the action version of myself who can look good while being prepared for a wider attempt of things during the day and still feel like myself. Now I know what fabrics work for my day to day, what colors I enjoy, and I do store stuff away just so that it gives the item time to excite me again in the future. It's one bin full of majority off season stuff and a few items that I'll give time to cook. I also do go out dancing and that truly is my time to express myself in a more exuberant way. It gives me the satisfaction of high tensity dress up time and then the release of more relaxed fits during the week. and monthly to bi monthly dress up time to explore certain things in private. Its all balance, play, and experimentation baby :)
I have some pretty strong fashion opinions (those furry Chanel mules that were everywhere a few years ago? Couldn't stand them, I called them Chewbacca slippers. I also never got into peplum tops & dresses, and I've left the dad jeans in the fitting room because they just don't work for me), but I'm not sure that's enough to call myself 'fashionable.' While I love dresses, skirts and pretty flats, in reality, I value my comfort more than anything. I try to look put together by wearing elevated blouses (with interesting necklines such as square or sweetheart necks, frilly sleeves, satiny materials, etc.) and pairing them with well-fitting jeans. My go-to places for nice tops are Express, Loft & Banana Republic, and most of my jeans are from Hollister. That's become my go-to style because it's comfortable yet looks good, regardless of whatever new aesthetic becomes trendy.
this popped up at the exact right time for me. holy cow. i had a baby 7 months ago and feel like i’ve been going through a severe identity crisis when it comes to clothing. like WHAT DO I EVEN LIKE??? idk!! needless to say, i just subscribe! best wishes to you and your little baby!
This was a great insightful video! I am always of the mind to tend to be extra kind to people when they are searching for aesthetics or labeling them as some thing one thing or another. On one hand it makes things searchable. The “rockstar’s girlfriend” look, which I’ve had for years being the rockstar and not the girlfriend (such is like lmao) is so much easier to search right now rather than “edgy girl”. On the other hand, and I am so serious about this, it can hurt when people look down on you for labeling something you like. When I was in my teens, I was actively searching for what my aesthetic was. My mom would just rip me a new one each time saying that we shouldn’t be focused on fashion in life and I shouldn’t be trying to pose as this thing or that thing. But really I just seriously wanted to express myself and I didn’t know how to do it. I was given practical shoes that could be dirty or cleaned up. I was given jeans and T-shirts and I was given conservative clothes that I could wear to church and that was it. I didn’t feel like me and I didn’t even know who I was. I saw people on TV wearing cool outfits and I wanted to express myself too. Eventually, a lot of people would say that I just had this very very 80s rocker type vibe whether I just had bangs or I had cut my hair in a shag or if I just had my hair curly. at the time I had decided that those were very different hairstyles and that it must be a sign that I should just explore the 80’s vibe. Again I was met with my mom reaming me out for trying to be something I’m not. It occurred to me that if a person is something like dark academia they don’t just come out of the womb that way. At some point you have to find pieces that you like and start wearing them. So I fought my family that claimed that I was being a poser by trying this or that out, and I just started experimenting with things. My overall rocker vibe does stretch to the different things that I do, but I can tell you that the thing I wore to the concert on Monday is not exactly the thing that I wore to church on the weekend. However, some pieces do get recycled. I’m definitely able to dress within my own taste and style but also look like five different people all week long lol. There’s things that I love and uniforms that reach to when I need to, but there’s also creative outfits that I’ll try here and there and then recycle those pieces for something else. At this point now my wardrobe is more of a collection and I just have to watch out for what pleather is deteriorating and shedding everywhere, lol, and what pieces catch my eye at a store or a thrift shop or online so that I can just add to and replace something.
I love cottagecore for summer and dark academia for winter. But you would never guess, looking at the things I wear. I don't have the resourses to find those pieces. So I dress like 'casual friday at the office' with high rise jeans, bare ankles in Toms or loafers and a loose blouse/button up/sweater. And Yes, tuck that baby in to show off some waist definition! I love me a buttonup+sweater combo, and I love bare feet in loafers and a slightly above the ankle bone jeans. I guess it's a personal style?
I really love Ellie Jean Royden's Body and Style channel. Her style roots system helps clarify how you want to dress and she helps you intergreat that with your best lines and colors.
I didn’t have a lot of clothes growing up so I got super creative with what I wore. I mixed and matched and nothing I wore was trendy, but I spent hours putting together the same pieces in new ways. One of the best compliments I ever got was from my friends mom commenting on my unique style. I think I lost that when I got money and discovered fast fashion. Kinda sad
My fiance noticed that I have a big red cardigan that I wear year round. It’s definitely oversized with tight jeans or leggings with bright solid colors. It definitely evolves
Actually going to shop PARADE because of you. Also your sponsors are always useful to me or a friend.. oh your videos are bomb ! I appreciate your asthetic bc i suffer overstimulation .. but your videos are calming PLZ DON'T CHANGE! unlesss u want to. Your veiwers love your content that's y we here boo❤❤❤❤❤
when baggy pants/jeans came in, it stuck with me! i love them sm! my best friend? she stuck with skinny jeans. trends for me have always been an opportunity to discover new ways to wear clothing. whatever i like sticks with me! :) pro-tip: if you like a trend, wait a few weeks and it’ll show up in thrift stores!
Honestly a key to finding your personal style is dressing room shopping: going to a nice store with various things and actually put on those things you usually don't even look at. Just to see and adjust from there
You know what has helped me with building a wardrobe of my "personal style?" Not settling for good enough. For years and years, I'd talk myself into buying items of clothing that were *almost* right. Like the fit was close enough. The style was close enough. The color was close enough. It seemed functional. It was on sale. That sort of thing, you know? Just always buying things I sort of liked but didn't truly love because I managed to convince myself that they were close enough to good that they would work. But nowadays, I just don't like to buy things unless I genuinely love them. If it's not a hell yes, then it's a hell no. A lot of this is inspired from watching Leena Norms. Her style is not much like mine at all, but by golly, she has a knack for choosing clothes that she actually gets excited about. So now, same goes for me. If I'm not actually excited to wear it or it doesn't fit quite right or whatever, then it isn't good enough and I don't need to add it to my wardrobe.
any time I see discussion of oh people can "wear whatever they what, it doesn't mean anything, it's just what they Like", I immediately heard the The Devil Wears Prada cerulean sweater speech. Like "oh, okay. I see, you think this has nothing to do with you...", which yes that was about fashion industry choices and how they filter down and impact styles but also about how fashion and aesthetics don't come from nowhere. Every item and every style has a history to it that influenced it's creation as well as it's perception, and whether or not you know it, it still exists. Whether that's punk fashion being based around "low" or working class clothes (with bands like the Ramones wearing torn jeans because they just wore through the knees of their jeans and couldn't afford new ones), or heavy metal leather styling being revolutionized by Judas Priest and Rob Halford, who was inspired by the leather daddy subculture, or one of the many styles influenced by black culture. The big issue I think comes in, especially like you said for those "lifestyle" aesthetics, when you try to deny the history of the style or the culture that formed it; trying to strip it of it's history and getting annoyed when people associate you with that culture (positively or negatively).
hiii tiffany I love your videos. I personally find them so interesting because I am 35 and don't use tiktok and i love to hear what people younger than me are talking about. I do find all of this to be a bit sad as it seems like a lot of thought and attention to put into what other people think of your style and how you fit in with the trends that other people are buying into instead of just doing you and not caring so much what anyone thinks. If no one was being overwhelmed by these videos of people discussing personal style, would it even matter? My point being, I think these may only be issues that matter when you are young because as you grow up you realize how little any of this matters and that is when you really start to find your personal style. You don't have to label it or compare it to others, it will exist either way. Not to sound cheesy but it really is so much more important how you move in the world, what you do and who you do it for, not how you look, that matters. Also, I'm a tattoo artist by profession and I find the tattoo regrets to be quite a new phenomenon. Again, I think this is only an issue for younger people who feel pressure to get tattoos because they perceive them as cool and want to follow a trend. My advice to anyone whose worried about how they might feel after getting tattooed is to OWN IT. I've got some pretty dumb and dated tattoos and I love them all the same because I did that, I chose that and it made me happy at the time. Also remember that tattoos last forever and they are only for you so if you feel unsure, just wait. Oh also, learning to mend and alter clothes goes a long way toward getting the look you really want and it feels a helluva lot more satisfying to add your own flair to something than to simply buy it.
@kaylanewell420 nah tattoo regrets have always existed. My 80 year old neighbour said the only thing he regretted was getting this tattoo...but not that one (pointing them out). He got a second tattoo to disguise the one he hated.
I’m getting more interested with boring clothes and comfortable shoes. Solid color dresses, comfortable shoes, crisp poplin shirts I can wear with leggings or with dress pants, and comfortable shoes. I have a few interesting things to wear over the boring things if I’m feeling it, but I’m moving towards fewer items of clothing. And, I can’t stress this enough, comfortable shoes.
My personal style? Idk probably somewhere halfway between the twee and soft grunge styles of early 2010s tumblr. My most "me" outfit is my nasa logo graphic tee, red skater skirt, red hi top converse with floral embroidery details and a navy and red check flannel overshirt with the sleeves rolled up.
Not gonna lie, I do feel that my tattoos and bangs elevate every outfit that I have. Even the boring ones are cool just because of my tats and bangs. Although sometimes I will slick my hair back because I have a sick widow's peak! All that said though, I do wish I had more style. It's not for the lack of interesting clothes. I have lots of cool clothes... I just get tired and end up wearing the same 2 outfits. Especially in the summer! It's so hot that I feel limited to a tank top and shorts.
What ruined my personal style completely is the combination of these things happening at the same time: pandemic (lockdown) + pregnancy + adjusting to my very sporty boyfriends style, and buying functional clothes. It made sense at the time, but I can't seem to snap out of it...
Tiffany~ I love every video I've watched so far that you've made. Of course I support you finding your personal style and expressing yourself in a way that feels good, but from a viewer/content perspective, I think your styling/clothing/"set"/space supports the work you do and allows us to focus on the really well researched and insightful analysis and thought provoking ideas you share. It almost feels like there's no conflict of interest b/c those aspects are pretty neutral. If they weren't neutral, they'd be catching my attention much more and that would distract me from the content. So are you presenting content or are *you* the content? So many influencers are their content and I don't think that's healthy for them. When you are on camera I feel I am connecting to the heart of what you're sharing rather than a carefully constructed persona. The other feeling I have, which I feel like you've echoed in many other areas is that when you are spending so much time focused on the exterior and appearances, it leaves less energy/time/money for substance and depth. I used to really be invested in my personal style and found it fun and satisfying. But for the last 10 years I've been living with chronic pain and fatigue and now a lot of things that look the way I like are painful on my body. what's even weirder is that "sporting a look" is now fatiguing! Like wearing jewelry or even bright colors or prints/patterns, i can feel how much energy it takes, literally, because my reserves are so low. But the upside of this is it made me realize that it was always taking energy, it's just i had energy to spare. These days, I need to wear things with stretch, that are semi-fitted, but not too loose b/c that is overwhelming to my system. I wear colors that are soothing. When i wear energizing colors, I actually feel zapped! But more and more I wear things that don't distract me from other aspects of life... I want people to interact with *me*, not my persona, not my mask. I do miss self-fashioning sometimes, but releasing it has also been freeing.
I have a very similar style journey as you. My wardrobe used to be exclusively thrifted and was so fun and funky. But then adulting happened with work life and my wardrobe has shifted to functional and now I feel utterly lost. But also thrifting feels like it falls flat recently and idk if its because I'm bigger than I used to be or if its because thrifting has turned into a subset of hustle culture.
Yesssss this video is dece. I think when you mentioned about tats and bangzzzz mixed with say prairie, I am very much the same and to me it’s like the Brit style. For example, growing up in the 90’s I loved Kate Moss’s style because it had that rebelliousness to it. So I like to mix it up and I think that’s a very British thing. So if I’m wearing a fun floral frock I will feel weird if I don’t pair it with messy hair or smudged liner and some biker boots. Keeps it being too neat and preppy for my taste.
I’m an outfit repeater and have clothes from years ago that I still wear, I only finally realize I’m not comfortable wearing tight clothes, I’m uncomfortable all day or self conscious. I feel amazing about my body and self in oversize clothes, and when going thru my closet, a lot of my clothes are oversize, so my subconscious knew I already liked that fit on me :)
I think one thing that really gets overlooked when fashion influencers and content creators talk about personal style is the way that the practical requirements of someone's life influence style. Because an influencer's job is to look good on-camera, so prioritizing "being themself" makes sense. But that is not the way a lot of people's lives work 😂 For example, I'm an art teacher, and that affects my wardrobe in a pretty big way. Every day at work I let a bunch of Kindergarteners loose with paint and markers. My wardrobe is a constant balancing act between looking prefessional, expressingyself, and being extremely machine washable. 😂 And that's how clothing usually works. Yes, expressing yourself is important, but you also have to prioritize spending money on things that suit your life and living situation.
My "personal style" is just the clothes I own. I try to buy vintage or second-hand because I despise fast fashion quality and I want my clothes to last for at least 20 more years. I know it's not trendy and I couldn't care less about it. The thing with those items is that I can't really get picky, so it either fits me or it doesn't, and that also leads to the new item to actually be worn and not sit in my closet for years.
Some personal thoughts on you saying that your videos seem too “boring” compared to other video essayists/fashion influencers: I’ve been watching your videos since high school and im about to graduate college. i love the consistency, and tuning in whenever you posted was honestly one of the highlights of my week back in the day. Even though your videos might seem “simple” in comparison, it’s always evident as a viewer how much thoughtfulness and research you put into them all. that’s what has kept me around so long :) the setup doesn’t need to be as interesting when what you’re saying is so captivating. But, on the flip side, I’ve always just thought you were so beautiful! I’m definitely listening to what you’re saying, but sometimes i just look at the screen like “wow, she is so pretty!” haha. If you read this, just know that you’re doing amazing and as an Anthropology undergrad your videos are always sooo intriguing and full of the best little bits of knowledge on the Internet. Wishing you the best always, congrats on motherhood 🥹🩷
My “new years resolution” this year was to not buy any more clothes, shoes, accessories, jewelry, hats etc. So far so good. I prepped by making a pinterest board of outfits I’d actually wear and then just purchasing the items that repeated multiple times, like a type of skirt or type or shoe. My friends thought I was crazy lol But I just borrowed a dress for a black tie event and didn’t die lol Meanwhile I think my friend purchased several dresses for the same event and second guessed her choice up until she started receiving compliments at the event.
If you wear things that feel comfortable and you think you look good in you do have a personal style. Mine has evolved over my 40 years in life, and I am the happiest I have ever been about it because I give no fs about what others think anymore. I know lots of stylist say not to buy nultiple copies of items, but I always buy multiples of thibgs I really like - because i'd rather have an inventory of items I like and fit good rather than having to try to find new things every season. I have the same tanktop in 5 colours (12 of them total) I only have 2 other tanktops and Ibhave had them for 5 years now - they can't be bought anymore but because I have so many they are not worn out. I learned my clothing management style from my mother who has a lot of items, last winter she took a jacket out of her "storage" that she bought in 1978, it was back in fashion now. I realise this is only possible if you have the space, but it does save you a lot of money because you make sure to wear the items you own.
As a mommy of two small children, I 100% feel what you feel. Over the past three years I have been in the same outfit every day. Leggings/yoga pants and a big t shirt. In school I used to share your same style. Very quirky/weird don’t give a freak outfits. I am a tatted mama that has the wardrobe of an art teacher/homesteader and I feel like without my tattoos I would be perceived totally differently. Everything you are saying is hitting home. I am a new watcher to your videos and I will def be subscribing!
i definitely have a personal style that im super happy with, the trouble is how to make that work with summer, as someone who's illnesses are hugely made worse by heat, and whos style involves Layers haha but thats exactly where things like pinterest boards come in useful, finding things that give the same energy, and figuring out by looking at those, what *i* can do about that . what are the lynchpins of these outfits, what parts *dont* i like, what parts represent things i already own and what *one* thing would transform what i currently have into something i want. (for me right now, its a very oversized button up/down shirt with the sleeves cut off, to go over an outfit, to add the visual texture, while still allowing all my fancy sleeves to be shown), and as a solution to summer, i have a lot of sheer outer layers, but hate a lot of fabrics that make up under layers, and so looking just for what types of fabrics i should be looking for to go under stuff.. this was far too many words but honestly this kind of thing means a lot to me, i still have clothes from when i was 15 and much more heavily into traditional goth, and even now, 10 years later, when my style is so much broader, theyre still items i wear and are part of my style!
Finally, somebody talking about this coming into a new era of my life with a new body and often feel like the clothes in the aesthetics that I like aren’t made for my body type not to mention sensory issues. I’ll think something looks cute. Go up touch it and it is the worst feeling in the world.
I would start by finding out your Kibbe body type, color season and essance. The power of these things combined will really help guide you to what looks good on you and what your over all vibe is. I would say that your body type is some sort of Natural and your color season is probably spring but you should really look into it if you want to nail down your personal style. Ellie Jean style and body is a great channel for this❤ good luck!!!
I was a very strange mix of punk and pink barbie as a teen. In my 20s I got tons if tattoos and at the same time started working in the government so I wore lots of suits. Had a while I was unsure if I was happy with my tattoos. But then I realized that I mostly love quirky and colorful cute and very feminine clothes. Turned my style around and finally my tattoos gave me the more cool and punk edge to my feminine style. It has been a journey but I don't think I would have gotten here without the tattoos to always give my look some more coolness😅
W.r.t. the tiktok shop tangent, it's worth pointing out that a large percentage of returns just get thrown away. Like, your returns aren't usually being sold to someone else they're just going to landfill. I think the obsession with trends is one of the biggest contributers to overconsumption & waste !
All of the clothes you have in your closet that you like and wear often, IS your style. You are just trying to find a label for it. Here you go (your name)-core. That is your style. You're welcome.
My problem lately is that all the nice tops/shirts I had, I wore them regularly for work. So now whilst I do still like them, they are really coded as 'work clothes'. So I don't want to wear them on the weekend. My current main approach is that I like this one brand (Princess Highway) and I just buy everything (except for basics) from them :-P
the biggest revelation i had for my personal style was that there is a pretty big difference between clothes that i like, and clothes that i like On Me. in my case it probably also had to do with Gender Things, but it made a huge difference to me when i realised that just because i think really feminine styles, dresses and skirts and long hair and such are beautiful, does not mean i like wearing them, and that for myself i really prefer a more androgynous style.
my issue is to achieve my personal syle that my heart yearns for, I would pretty much have to sew all the pieces myself. which will take years and years because I'm a beginner seamstress
I love your style Pinterest board, it's similar to what I like. Is it a public board you'd be willing to share? I understand if not and I loved the video, made me reconsider a lot of things about myself.
Last winter I got this realy loud wool overcoat, it's has a pattern in electric blue, orange and yellow. It made me walk with so much confidence. I love bright colors, but was dressing in very muted colors, just because It was what people wear to the office. That wool coat gave me the confidence to wear the things I realy enjoy, and since then I get much more praise on my fashion choises. I became a mother in 2022, and at the time I was in a realy style rot, betwen starting working in a office, covid and hiting 30, I didn't knew wtf to wear. The post-partum fase isn't easy either because when you breastfeed you dress acording to it. So when I stoped breastfeeding I got rid of a ton of clothes I didn't want to wear and invested on a couple of things that I LOVED, and it realy made a diference.
Honestly, my job keeps me from even thinking much about MY personal style. I work as a fitness and yoga instructor and live in leggings and tanks. I might get fixed up once a month. I like looking at fashion and what other people are wearing, but I don't have the money to be investing in clothing I'm going to wear a few times a year. And we all know workout clothes are expensive, so that's where I have to invest.
I don’t really understand why millennials complain about this the most when they’re the ones who started the internet aesthetic labels on tumblr. and it was a phase for most of them, just as it was for gen z. it just seems hypocritical.
Personal style does exist, but maybe that’s because I’m older now and I just wear what looks interesting to me, according to many videos on 2010’s style, I’m stuck in 2014 -2016
Dressing up during pregnancy is soooooo hard, i felt huge and fat and ugly and i ended up wearing comfortable practical clothes. When my babies were born i lost a lot of weight quickly but my body was/is very different from before and i had to buy new clothes. After a few years i feel more confident and better and most importantly finally like i choose my clothes from personal style and not to be part of a group. But i definitely don’t follow trends, i’d rather pick things that go well together, fit me and that i will wear for as long as possible. Btw her videos are so interesting, no matter what she thinks 😭
I’m just one random on the internet but I’ve been watching you for years and I’ve never once thought you seemed or looked boring! I think part of people’s style or appeal or “coolness” can also be influenced by the way they carry themselves and their confidence etc. and I’m someone with bangs and tattoos if that means anything 😂 I struggle with my style too but if I had to pick my most “me” items I’d say wide leg shorts, tank tops or shirts that are a bit on the baggy side, and especially my pair of doc marten boots I’ve had for a decade now! they currently have rainbow laces on em
Omg this felt like a great conversation with a good friend. I think about this topic so much lately. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Tattoos and blonde hair are the things that scream „cool person“ to me. But for 2 years i stopped bleaching my hair and they now look so healthy 😂 and there is no money for tattoos right now😂😂
i feel like when you are a teen / young adult, you are still growing and have to get new clothes often. so, your clothes don't stagnate. once you are fully grown, you really don't need to get clothes again until they wear out, which happens so slow, you get to watch your clothes go out of style and feel resigned about it, unless you are willing to spend the money. also, when you are in school, you are literally just sitting in a chair, your clothes barely have to function, so you can dress silly/costumey. once you have adult responsibilities, your clothes have to actually function in real life. i think it's natural because of these 2 things to have a fashion crisis at some point and wonder "where did my style go?"
Started buying basics and neutrals because I needed some (recent college grad, need adult clothes) and realized I vibe the most in basics and neutrals...oops. I am also a heavily tattooed person which tends to help with how simple my outfits are on their own, and I've really been enjoying the euphoria I feel when my outfit and tattoos complement each other.
I would love to see you on twitch live streaming and chatting! I enjoy your videos so much about internet analysis and it could be nice to just casual chatting about it with you, would be a cool way to see other people's perspectives about those topics
someone asked me if i was going for the “gothcore” / “grungecore” bc i wore a lot of black and i had to tell them no im just insecure and i sweat profusely
I have recently discovered that I love to wear dresses again since I buzzed off my hair. With long hair I always felt so conservative looking, like the metioned mormon mummy 😂 And I didn't wear dresses and skirts for years. Now my hair is very short and suddenly I feel COOL. Like seriously written in capitals COOL. It might be like getting tattoos, but thank goodness it is not as permanent 😂
When I style myself on an outing, my bf will describe my aesthetic as “eclectic.” Honestly, I just think it’s because I’m an Aquarius and I love to express my look in a way that feels authentic to me, which is synonymous to an Aquarius description. Interesssting me thinks
Former dancer chiming in to also say that one of the things that irks me about "ballerina-core" is that these people don’t like that trend because they want to be ballerinas, they like it for what it hints at generally-- ballerinas are, historically, waifishly thin, graceful, hyperfeminine, beautiful, come from some kind of money, disciplined, quiet. Being those things is trending with younger girls, not an interest in ballet, and it's disquieting that those things are trending because of what that says about who a young woman is allowed to be right now.
Me sitting in my pajamas working at my desk in the afternoon with office-friendly (nothing visible with sleeves rolled up) tattoos and bangs. It has been raining for two weeks, and we hang dry our laundry here. Almost everyone in my morning meeting call were wearing non-work clothes. It's bottom of the barrel, back of the wardrobe clothes fashion season, baby! ... But it's okay. I have tattoos and bangs. Tiffany things I'm cool! 😱
I loved your video, so many people I need to check out because of it. BTW, I’m a mom, with tattoos, that shares my outfit since I’m on my journey to finding my style 😊
My problem is my personal style and what i can realistically wear to work are a venn diagram of two circles that never meet ;_; i keep ending up with clothes i love but rarely wear, and clothes that are super boring but i wear all the time. it’s rough, but such is life
4:44 i agreed with this person until they said that using other people as a crutch can lead to imitation (with the subtext that imitation is not desirable). like 75% of my outfit inspiration process is seeing how clothing sits on other people and trying to replicate silhouettes that i find joy or interest in. as much as i like to play dress-up in my room trying to style my closet in new ways independently, other fashionable people--and the way they style items--are core to my process. lots of the things that have then become cornerstones of my style were discovered by replicating someone else's outfit using the pieces in my closet. for that reason, i consciously remind myself and tell others that lots of my styling quirks did not originate from me. even though it is important to synthesize a bunch of different sources together to form something that reads as original, this focus on originality in personal style can so easily take away from the social nature of experimental fashion. ultimately, i copy people all the time! it's just part of the game.
I was way more creative with my clothes before becoming a mom. I felt like I was watering my style down after but there no shame in just being a mom and having no style just to function. Fuck if lol but when I do have good days… I go back to that creative dressing I used to. My child loves to give her opinion now on my style and she’s super creative with her own style. So I’m having so much fun. Pregnancy style can be a rut but it isn’t forever.
Honestly, I am getting tired of social media figures constantly telling people "you did this not because you wanted but because social media" Stop denying your viewer's autonomy. The only sensible question to ask is "why did you get this?" no matter if the person is wearing a trendy or not trendy thing If they say "because X worn it" then yeah, that is not personal style If they say "because I like it" then leave them alone oh my goodness.
Great video! Dressing yourself during pregnancy is hard and can continue to be challenging as you enter postpartum life. I don’t mean to discourage you. Brace yourself for any changes in your body or simply wearing clothes that is functional especially if you are nursing. I had a really hard time with this and finally after 2 babies and many fantasy selves I am wearing what feels like me again. Well this just turned into a rant. I hope your iron levels get where they need to be. Sending all the good vibes! ❤
Actually it's a very interesting topic in context of neuropsychology. I've always wondered WHY we like things we think we like and the answer is so multifaceted, rooted in concepts like our social evolution and ego development. I don't agree that people incorporate a certain aesthetic because they'd like to have a hobby, it's derogatory. You can like horses and you don't have to dress like a imagined horse girl after all. Aesthetic is an aesthetic, nothing more, it's about how it makes us feel, if it's a fantasy of a different world where you feel free riding a horse on a praire, and it's the closest of what you can come up with, but you don't even like horses, dressing like that might give you this feeling. We're just actors and finally, as in the whole humankind history, we get to have fun with it without social or economical restraints, have fun with our egos, not take ourselves so seriously anymore. For example, I've always dressed dark academia, much earlier than it had a name, and I don't ever read fiction. But my family is quite modern, and I didn't like THEM, I felt very alienated, so it was a way of showing I'm spiritually not from this family. In my early-mid teens I didn't buy fashionable shoes but saved money for a wooden, hand-painted jewel case. I couldn't find anything I liked in the boutiques, and second-hand dressing at that time was something different, so I had to sew my own clothes to feel myself. It gave me a sense of belonging and safety, I never felt like imitating anything but being a part of a certain movement of something I considered smarter and deeper, and more suitable for my existence. When I visited England for the first time (I was 13/14) I felt like at home. And aesthetic labels are just that. Labels. So we can talk about it and find inspiration. And it's so great. When I discovered "dark academia" is a thing, I was able to elevate my style with inspirations and find new pieces so much easier. Notice how much you said about your reasons for "not having a personal style". It IS your personal style right now lol. It's how you express how you feel, you need to be comfy. Anything is a personal style because we have to always choose what we wear and how we paint our nails. Painting your nails "some random color" is the part of it. Aspirational style is aspirational because actually it's not that easy to be meticulous about your wardrobe, it's like a whole new hobby, research, collection, funds, testing out, evolving, making it better; it's like painting a series of pictures, nobody is born with this skill but it comes through practice. When you're tired, or don't have much time, it takes over your indentity, and it will show in your actual style, because it's who you are. How you want to be perceived (as a part of a group or not) is about you, not about the trend/aesthetic. After all you could dress as a mormon mommy but something is off for you, that you don't decide to do it, and it's not about how it looks but how you identify and if you're okay with others (mostly strangers) thinking something about you, even if it's something you imagine they'd do. There's always a reason we choose the style. There's always a reason why we like this style. It's always "ours", we never imitate, even if we try to recreate it from the pinterest boards, and even if imitation is our goal (because aiming to imitate something is also something about YOU). You could choose anything else but you chose that because of how it makes you feel. Maybe you want to dress as a fairy because you are scared of growing up, or you're adult but you never had proper childhood, maybe it reminds you of something, good times. Maybe you want to wear punk, because it speaks for you that you are not that approachable, that you feel threatened, or you need to feel as a part of your group, not necessarily that you rebel against the system as other people in the past did, they only expressed themselves through the clothing, the clothing itself means nothing until you decide it does. Maybe you admired your aunt who dressed a certain way and you'd like to become more like her. Maybe you want to blend in, maybe you need to distinguish yourself from others, maybe you need to change a self-concept, or be easier for others to approach you. Maybe your style is connected to your values you got from your family (like e.g. modesty), or represents new values you figured out yourself. There are so many reasons... Boiling it down to "I can't afford a horse" is really.... ehh
The obly new clothes i own are underwear and two pairs of pants. The rest are all hand me downs from my brothers, family friend etc. I hate shopping and i am fat to boot. I feel like the things i like i can not wear, or not allowed to wear. Because nothing looks good on me. I wear primarily dark colours but i would love to wear something bright and colourfull and yet i feel like i shouldnt.
The iron thing SUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS. I have tried 4 different types of pills and one liquid, and so far, it isn't helping. Weirdly, the ice craving hasn't happened, nor has the dirt eating craving. But I can tell my hemoglobin is low, like...I can FEEL it. It's a very alien thing to feel. As well, considering so many people all over the world have issues with iron, why hasn't an effective and easily absorbed iron supplement been invented? I read somewhere that someone was put on a pre-natal pill regimen, despite the fact that she was in her mid 50s, and it worked for her, I guess because of the Vitamin C? I tried the iron pill + orange juice. Let's just say, the bowels loosened and I started to fear it'd never end. I tried a different pill that was supposedly more easily absorbed. Hi, lightheadedness! Hi, stomach upset! Hi, constipation at the same time! The Smart Solutions Iron Smart liquid is PACKED with sugar to make it taste good, and I find all that sugar can't be taken right before bed for obvious reasons. I tried taking it in the morning, and I was super aggressive all day (that's what sugar does to me). My doctor is one of those, 'oh, your arm is broken? Have you tried losing weight?' types, so he has been no help. I have no idea what to do. If you find a magic solution, please share!!!
I feel like what you are wearing in a video doesn’t matter, I as a viewer come for the topic, for the discussion, for your thoughts and opinions. So dress however you like!
I wouldn’t consider Ballet and equine sports “hobbies” it’s more of a lifestyle choice both take incredibly insane amount of time and resources and personal growth. Ask anybody that are into horse or ballet and they will tell you it’s not a “hobby” I think that there are some social status correlated to ballet and equine sports. Both require money and time that certain social economic class can’t afford.
PERSONAL STYLE, BABY! would love to hear what your most "YOU" items of clothing are!!
Mine is a black satin bolero from the 90s that I thrifted! I don't wear it often cause I'm scared of messing it up and also, it's quite extra lol. It feels so me tho, especially the puffy sleeves it has. Also, my giant spiked choker! It's my baby 🥹 I wear it anywhere and everywhere, even just the grocery store, the spikes are like 4-5 inches. It also doubles as self defense if I need it 🤭
mine are a pair of pleated green plaid trousers with a tapered leg
any of my childhood tees i still wear + thrifted grandma shirts :)
vintage-style offwhite blouse with poofy flowing sleeves, paired with a set of moss green trousers got me living my vintage/renn faire/somewhat cottage-core dream lol
I love circle skirts! It just feels great, and I love the twirl.
I once saw someone comment “I’m boringcore and averagemaxxing. You couldn’t pick me out of a crowd” and I could not stop laughing
I'm NPC-coded
im giving ✨background character✨
Love this comment thread :)))
anonimaxxing
that's Grey Man in prepper circles
I think we are all WAY overthinking things. Once I became an adult, I realized that what I liked on other people and what looked good on my body were different things. Once I understood that my body is the only one that looks exactly like me I realized the point is to find clothes that feel and look good on me (to me, my mom disagrees 😆) and nothing else matters.
Now I mostly prioritize how the material feels on my skin (so only natural fibers), have worn the same clothes for 10 years and have been recently trying to learn how to sew my own clothes because I honestly hate everything I see in the stores now.
Same! I actually enjoy the kibbe method, seasonal analysis etc exactly because of it. I'm not shooting in the dark, I just buy what suits me and makes me happy, and if a trend happens to fall under this venn diagram, great. If not, I'll be wearing hot pink jumpsuits until the end of times
Natural fibers are impossible to come by at a inexpensive price point, so learning to sew is amazing.
i really want to learn to sew my own clothes too b/c nothing fits my apparently oddly proportioned body
the solution is for us to perhaps stop using the internet so much, as it is a personal choice and we don’t have to listen to what people tell us to overthink about! tiktok strikes again
Hahaha I also just decided to say fuck it and learn how to sew. I'm just starting but I actually grabbed a pristine Bernina 930 at an estate sale last year for $125!!
To me what I want is quality material from a longevity perspective. I want to figure out EXACTLY what shapes and measurements look good on me, and get high quality clothes I can wear for a long, long time (and enjoy doing it). My ADHD hates making decisions, so I try to get high quality stuff to delay having to make more decisions 😅.
I know sewing isn't cheaper than fast fashion, but it'll be cheaper than buying clothes of the quality I actually want. Even though learning to sew at the quality I want will be a longgg time investment, I think it'll be a great and useful (for many things!) hobby, and I'm looking forward to getting deeper into it.
As someone who grew up poor and only wore hand me downs until I was in college, I don’t have a style and honestly, I don’t personally mind. Half the time I wear graphic t-shirts and jeans. I’m incredibly relieved I didn’t have to worry about clothing trends a kid, it seems expensive and tiring to keep up.
What kind of graphic tees do you get?
Having a style doesn't mean being trendy or spending a lot. Our outfits say things. You just told a story about what you usually wear and what your clothes mean to you. That sounds like a style. Even if you don't think about it very much, your jeans, your tees, and the art on your graphic tees, were all designed by people who put in a fair amount of thought. (For more information, see Miranda's "pile of stuff" monologue from "The Devil Wears Prada.")
You have more personal style than anyone who just buys every trendy item because it makes them feel something.
style can be communicated through the same outfits worn differently. Do you ever tuck in your shirt cause it looks nice with your pants? Or to look professional in an interview? Then you've styled yourself! Everyone has a sense of style, realising it is just down to how much time they spend thinking about it outside of getting dressed. Buying clothes isn't style, as the person above me stated
Same here. My wardrobe is mismatched: shirts, short pants, jeans of various length, and shein type of outfits for outings. I have depression so it's overwhelming and trying to put an intricate look together. I have gufted bags that I barely use
@@Aelffwynn I always thought a style meant a type look or aesthetic. I kind of have an eclectic style I suppose but you’re right, everyone has a style or fluctuates between them. Didn’t consider that, thanks for the insight
The crochet pieces I make for myself are my absolute favorite and feel the most "me" ❤ They are made to my measurements, in my favorite colors and I get to wear my art.
bestie yesss! nothing feels better than being wrapped up in the products of your own efforts..❤
So sweet, I love that for you guys ❤ I should start crocheting again
Good one! Me too 😁
i embroider on my clothes all the time and i feel the same way!
I knit and sew my own clothes and I agree, I adore the pieces I've made for myself. How else am I going to get a dinosaur tank top or a dinosaur hoodie as an adult? ;)
Your normalness in appearance and “set design” (regular house) is what makes you so enjoyable to watch. You dont seem to perform, you’re just you. And it’s nice and refreshing
Totally agree!!! Also, I got super excited about Tiffany’s pregnancy (because new era of internet relationship duhhh) also, for me, as a 29yo with 2 kids, I’m looking forward to creators and content that reflects on motherhood and not only a “how to” on what to get shit done (which I appreciate, but there are enough already)
Sending all my love and iron ❤
Here's how my mum taught me to shop for clothes and it's helped me
- if you don't love it or need it, don't buy it
- think about what the elements of the clothes you do love, what is it you like about these garments, and make the most of it when it's in style
- if you really love the way you look in a piece you're not going to care that much if it's on trend
- if you feel tired with an item put in the back of your cupboard for a couple years and then revisit and you're still not feeling it, donate it
- the only persons opinion that really matters on your sense of style is your own
My favourite clothing piece is one i got second hand, it's from a french brand and it's a little summer dress with a 50s inspired cut and simple print
Aesthetics are the ultimate symbol of commodification of the experience of growing up. Hear me out.
I'm currently reading a novel called Camilla, written in the 1790s. It's about a group of upper class young people (aged 15-21) coming out into the world. These characters have the SAME fundamental issues teenagers face today: insecurity, wanting to be accepted by their peers, being unsure of their identity etc.
What is NOT the same is how they solve these problems. Not once were any of their concerns solved by buying anything. On the contrary, characters that are too concerned with dress and fashion are seen as vain, and ridiculous. Instead, they lean on their family, friends and eachother. They do what feels right and learn from their mistakes.
My theory is that aesthetics are just yet another attempt to solve the problems of young adulthood through consumerism. Buying into a subculture helps to create a sense of community and belonging. And these days, it's easier to purchase than it is to socialise.
The only problem with aesthetics as a form of self-expression and connection, is that it's ultimately shallow. You cannot connect with other people purely by owning the same stuff as them.
Unlike the teenagers of the 1790s that are the subject of Camilla (and young people in the past in general), modern young people are mainly connecting with others not through shared experiences, but through things that symbolise belonging to a specific group.
Whether that shift is positive, negative or neutral, is up for debate. All I am saying, is that the shift has happened.
My two cents as someone who has had a personal aesthetic since I was a young teenager, is that having a strong sense of personal style actually does help with connection, but not just connection with other people with the same style. I'm an awkward, neurospicy person, and I don't initiate conversations with people very often. But the fact that I'm dressed like a 1950s Ms Frizzle invites a lot of other people to initiate a conversation about my fun outfit, and it can sometimes lead to deeper friendships forming down the line. A strong sense of style can be an interesting icebreaker. I don't often run into anyone with a similar style, but I did at the coffee shop a few months ago, and now we're crafting together and forming a friendship. The whole conversation was started because she complimented me on my outfit, which got us talking about our mutual interest in historical fashion and then our crafting hobbies.
Just throwing this out there because I do agree that if a young person thinks finding their sense of style is a necessity for "adulting," you're so right that that is not going to work and playing into consumerism. If someone is expressing themselves this way because it's just more fun and easier than trying to fit in, it can end up leading to deeper connections in an interesting way some of the time.
yeah ever since the 50-60s and Mod culture
Just as a side note : if they do not seems interested in clothing maybe it's also because characters had to demonstrate more moral qualities at the time and it does not mean thématique those issues weren't présent. But it's really interesting how you put it and i guess they key is, as always, capitalism. Basing our identities and social relationships on shit to but just doesn't work.
I also agree with the other comment i have a strong personal style too, to the point i don't get how you can "look for" your own (so mysterious) and it's not based on a lot of shopping either and isn't an issue except for fitting in i guess wich i almost never tried. My style isn't really for others, it has always been for me first and that helped me grow i guess, not in a comodified way. But l agree that looking for a style, especially when it just equals buying shit, doesn't help in any way.
my “personal style” is a mixture of clothes that are colors i like (mauve/millennial pink, moss green/sage, think desaturated floral colors and anything that isn’t dark) and some vintage style dresses and skirts lol. i can’t imagine switching between aesthetics every month on a whim 😭 and in my attempt to be more eco-conscious, i barely buy new clothes, even if i would looove a closet full of vintage-style dresses and skirts (not that i can afford them). honestly my only advice for finding your own style is basing things around colors more than style - it’s always easier to find something you like if you have a palette to work with that you enjoy, rather than trying to find what style or cut is the trendiest at the moment!
I definitely agree with this I have a bubblegum pastel rainbow colour palette that I keep for all my clothes (although I have black clothes for school and work) it's nice because the colours feel like me :)
Yeah same, and if you buy within your pallette you can always match clothing, everything goes together.
I've slowly realized that, at this point, I like combining a traditionally masc piece with a fem one. "Masc grandma" is the phrase I've been using lately to describe it. Getting a big black/grey ink tattoo of wildflowers on my arm was also a GAMECHANGER. I love it. I feel hot. I feel "me" because gardening is a favourite hobby of mine. Paired with curly hair and bangs, I felt like you gave me an indirect compliment on my personal style!
Aww I love that!! And curly hair is my fav, I’m jealous!
What’s funny to me is I only ever see people wearing these “aesthetics” on line. I have never been at the supermarket or coffee shop and saw someone dressed like a cottage core girly or a ballerina girly, hell, I haven’t even seen anyone dressed “high fashion” in my everyday life, except for social events like concerts or music festivals. For context I live in Atlanta GA.
I never saw people dressed like this until I had difficulty finding parking near a major hospital and ended up parking near an upscale shopping street in Beverly Hills. I finally saw people dressed this way (cottage core leaning) while they crossed the street. Also, at the airport, I saw someone dressed like a minimalist fashion influencer, but her oversized blazer and wide legged pants overwhelmed her small frame. She also wore her hair with a middle part slicked back, a plain tee, and minimal gold jewelry.
I saw people in various styles all the time when I was in univeristy! I would dress up every day for class, too. I also tend to stick to my fave styles really heavily even on casual days, so I am 100% over dressed at the supermarket 😅
My question about personal style: why does everyone need to have one? I don't think I have a personal style, and the idea that it would be important to me feels so strange. I certainly love my clothes and like to dress well, but different days call for different things. So why have just one style?
thats another aspect of it; the idea that we need to perfectly fit into one singular box. but its impossible. humans are too complex, we're always changing and learning new things. we're eventually going to grow out of the label we decided will define us. or at the very least, we will expand the label to include more aspects into it to make it less narrow. but even then, i totally agree with not sticking to one singular thing, its too suffocating.
I think however you’re the most comfortable IS your personal style. You don’t have to throw together an unconventional outfit for it to be personal. Jeans and a t shirt can be your personal style if that’s what you truly enjoy wearing.
Most “me” items are ironically my mom’s and my grandmother’s pieces lol. Very kindly, they pass on their vintage/old clothes or they just give it when I say I like them and I combine them with modern pieces. I have actually shared with them that when I wear their clothes I feel supported and comforted because I remember them wearing these when I was a kid and admiring them so much❤ Also the fact that cloth quality was so good that my mother could keep clothes that were not high end or anything in perfect shape for 30-40 years speaks volumes. But that’s another tangent.
I was always wearing hand me downs as a child. But I loved them, 80s Adidias turqouise, violett tracksuits, volleyball team sweaters, etc. My most "me" item would be any sweater that has the 80s bowling-alley carpet or bus seat fabric patterns!
My uniform is black boots, black fishnets, black shorts, black crop top sometimes with a vest. My friends daughter drew me and nailed it. I've always wanted to adventure outside of that so it's comforting to hear that it's a good thing.
I only found my style when I stopped buying new clothes and started thrifting (while still being mindful about not over-consuming). I love natural fibers, particularly linen and silk, and I’ve gotten the coolest pieces secondhand. My friend described my style as “bougie whimsy goth” which seems like a good fit. I’m also in my early 30s and my style was all over the place throughout my teens and 20s - experimenting is half the fun, just don’t buy something super expensive until you have a good sense of what lasts in your wardrobe! The best part about having a cohesive style is how easily you can mix and match pieces - it helps eliminate the urge to shop because there are always new options to explore in your closet.
I'm a BIG FAN of outfit repeats. Being autistic/adhd and into fashion is wild because when I find a hit fit I will literally wear those items together and separately until they disintegrate off my body. These comfort outfits and pieces are so important when you're neurospicy or get easily overwhelmed by getting ready for work/events. I literally have a melt down if I can't put together an outfit quickly enough because my comfort items are in the laundry/need repair, the dysregulating leading to spiraling is real :')
I understand the appeal of shopping online and curating style boards online, but what best helped me develop my personal "style" (in quotes because it's, of course, ever changing) is to actually try a million clothes on! It can be physically and emotionally exhausting for people for a number of reasons, but it's the best way to develop a strong instinct for what different clothes and silhouettes *actually* look like on you. Now, when there's a new *idea* I want to incorporate into my appearance, I have a fairly strong intuition for what pieces I've tried on before inspired that same feeling--because chances are, the person or outfit that inspired the idea won't have the same effect on my body.
22:22 I love that your videos aren't flashy! They feel so cozy and down-to-earth :)
I bought new clothes for the first time in months and months a couple weeks ago and it was freeing to pass on the pieces that are on the edge of my comfort zone and just LEAN IN to what I actually go for in life: big tshirts and cargo shorts/pants! It’s not crazy to me so I almost forget this isn’t what everyone’s standard outfit looks like. My comfort zone is someone else’s risky zone and vice versa
I’m in my “personal style” once a week otherwise I’m using the what’s clean styling technique.
My personal style has expanded a lot from watching 2 RUclipsrs. One whose style is much more eccentric than mine (Kathleen Illustrated) and one whose style is much less eccentric than mine (Hannah Louise Poston). They both are great at framing different ways of thinking about clothes, styling, trying new things, finding investment pieces, etc. So even though I may not emulate either of their vibes, their ideas help me develop my own.
I think I just need to admit that my style is just: polished hair, makeup and accessories with a uniform. I’ve been in a uniform most of my life and now at my work.
On the topic of the aspirational style (25:58) I've realized that what I want to truly wear vs. what I actually wear are quite different, but that's because of chronic bloating for the past 3 years (recently learned this was IBS and not fat) - which made me limit my choice of clothing to how to best cover up a bloat and also not restrict the bloating as it would be painful.
I also feel your maternity dressing struggles. I miss my own clothes!!
im a former ballerina in the chat! the ballerinas generally dislike ballet core, but it’s pretty funny! it’s like a little glam cosplay and of course not authentic at all. Like we were wearing 1 holey legwarmer that smells like tiger balm because we’re hoping our old achilles injury does not flare up. we are not wearing brand-new matching amazon legwarmers to the store 😭
I find personal style for me means clothes that get me through the day successfully, in my case I used to be a super fashion focused kid and have grown to lose that sense of my identity so trying to rediscover it and balance it with my actual day to day routine has been interesting. Stopping your shopping or slowing it down is how I believe the only way to really find it is, to work with what you have and recognize those patterns. It's all science baby and we have to test the actual potential results. Not everything will be a success but trying new things from what you have and getting a negative or positive reaction for that day and taking a moment to acknowledge "Oh I didn't like wearing this out because I felt x reason" or the opposite. This can be a really fun challenge, I have a really colorful closet but recognizing the actual tones I am wearing and how they can pair together has made my day to day outfits really exciting. (I also wear a uniform for work, so excess clothes buying isn't necessary because I am wearing the same thing a good chunk of the days)
Clothing was so fun for me when I was young and couldn't drive or leave the house and had excess time to prioritize my appearance. Now I have places to be and my priorities are just different. I used to not be able to go for an unprepared walk because of heels and thick fabrics so instead of the attempted style and version of myself I wanted to be seen as I prioritized the action version of myself who can look good while being prepared for a wider attempt of things during the day and still feel like myself. Now I know what fabrics work for my day to day, what colors I enjoy, and I do store stuff away just so that it gives the item time to excite me again in the future. It's one bin full of majority off season stuff and a few items that I'll give time to cook.
I also do go out dancing and that truly is my time to express myself in a more exuberant way. It gives me the satisfaction of high tensity dress up time and then the release of more relaxed fits during the week. and monthly to bi monthly dress up time to explore certain things in private. Its all balance, play, and experimentation baby :)
Sometimes I feel like throwing my whole wardrobe out and starting over😂 So many choices🙌🏾
I have some pretty strong fashion opinions (those furry Chanel mules that were everywhere a few years ago? Couldn't stand them, I called them Chewbacca slippers. I also never got into peplum tops & dresses, and I've left the dad jeans in the fitting room because they just don't work for me), but I'm not sure that's enough to call myself 'fashionable.' While I love dresses, skirts and pretty flats, in reality, I value my comfort more than anything. I try to look put together by wearing elevated blouses (with interesting necklines such as square or sweetheart necks, frilly sleeves, satiny materials, etc.) and pairing them with well-fitting jeans. My go-to places for nice tops are Express, Loft & Banana Republic, and most of my jeans are from Hollister. That's become my go-to style because it's comfortable yet looks good, regardless of whatever new aesthetic becomes trendy.
this popped up at the exact right time for me. holy cow. i had a baby 7 months ago and feel like i’ve been going through a severe identity crisis when it comes to clothing. like WHAT DO I EVEN LIKE??? idk!!
needless to say, i just subscribe! best wishes to you and your little baby!
This was a great insightful video! I am always of the mind to tend to be extra kind to people when they are searching for aesthetics or labeling them as some thing one thing or another. On one hand it makes things searchable. The “rockstar’s girlfriend” look, which I’ve had for years being the rockstar and not the girlfriend (such is like lmao) is so much easier to search right now rather than “edgy girl”. On the other hand, and I am so serious about this, it can hurt when people look down on you for labeling something you like. When I was in my teens, I was actively searching for what my aesthetic was. My mom would just rip me a new one each time saying that we shouldn’t be focused on fashion in life and I shouldn’t be trying to pose as this thing or that thing. But really I just seriously wanted to express myself and I didn’t know how to do it. I was given practical shoes that could be dirty or cleaned up. I was given jeans and T-shirts and I was given conservative clothes that I could wear to church and that was it. I didn’t feel like me and I didn’t even know who I was. I saw people on TV wearing cool outfits and I wanted to express myself too. Eventually, a lot of people would say that I just had this very very 80s rocker type vibe whether I just had bangs or I had cut my hair in a shag or if I just had my hair curly. at the time I had decided that those were very different hairstyles and that it must be a sign that I should just explore the 80’s vibe. Again I was met with my mom reaming me out for trying to be something I’m not. It occurred to me that if a person is something like dark academia they don’t just come out of the womb that way. At some point you have to find pieces that you like and start wearing them. So I fought my family that claimed that I was being a poser by trying this or that out, and I just started experimenting with things. My overall rocker vibe does stretch to the different things that I do, but I can tell you that the thing I wore to the concert on Monday is not exactly the thing that I wore to church on the weekend. However, some pieces do get recycled. I’m definitely able to dress within my own taste and style but also look like five different people all week long lol. There’s things that I love and uniforms that reach to when I need to, but there’s also creative outfits that I’ll try here and there and then recycle those pieces for something else. At this point now my wardrobe is more of a collection and I just have to watch out for what pleather is deteriorating and shedding everywhere, lol, and what pieces catch my eye at a store or a thrift shop or online so that I can just add to and replace something.
I love cottagecore for summer and dark academia for winter. But you would never guess, looking at the things I wear.
I don't have the resourses to find those pieces. So I dress like 'casual friday at the office' with high rise jeans, bare ankles in Toms or loafers and a loose blouse/button up/sweater. And Yes, tuck that baby in to show off some waist definition! I love me a buttonup+sweater combo, and I love bare feet in loafers and a slightly above the ankle bone jeans. I guess it's a personal style?
I really love Ellie Jean Royden's Body and Style channel. Her style roots system helps clarify how you want to dress and she helps you intergreat that with your best lines and colors.
I didn’t have a lot of clothes growing up so I got super creative with what I wore. I mixed and matched and nothing I wore was trendy, but I spent hours putting together the same pieces in new ways. One of the best compliments I ever got was from my friends mom commenting on my unique style. I think I lost that when I got money and discovered fast fashion. Kinda sad
i feel the same way. i don’t even have time, and i never find anything like when i go out. shopping online horrifies me.
My fiance noticed that I have a big red cardigan that I wear year round. It’s definitely oversized with tight jeans or leggings with bright solid colors. It definitely evolves
Actually going to shop PARADE because of you. Also your sponsors are always useful to me or a friend.. oh your videos are bomb ! I appreciate your asthetic bc i suffer overstimulation .. but your videos are calming PLZ DON'T CHANGE! unlesss u want to. Your veiwers love your content that's y we here boo❤❤❤❤❤
when baggy pants/jeans came in, it stuck with me! i love them sm! my best friend? she stuck with skinny jeans. trends for me have always been an opportunity to discover new ways to wear clothing. whatever i like sticks with me! :)
pro-tip: if you like a trend, wait a few weeks and it’ll show up in thrift stores!
Honestly a key to finding your personal style is dressing room shopping: going to a nice store with various things and actually put on those things you usually don't even look at. Just to see and adjust from there
You know what has helped me with building a wardrobe of my "personal style?" Not settling for good enough. For years and years, I'd talk myself into buying items of clothing that were *almost* right. Like the fit was close enough. The style was close enough. The color was close enough. It seemed functional. It was on sale. That sort of thing, you know? Just always buying things I sort of liked but didn't truly love because I managed to convince myself that they were close enough to good that they would work. But nowadays, I just don't like to buy things unless I genuinely love them. If it's not a hell yes, then it's a hell no. A lot of this is inspired from watching Leena Norms. Her style is not much like mine at all, but by golly, she has a knack for choosing clothes that she actually gets excited about. So now, same goes for me. If I'm not actually excited to wear it or it doesn't fit quite right or whatever, then it isn't good enough and I don't need to add it to my wardrobe.
any time I see discussion of oh people can "wear whatever they what, it doesn't mean anything, it's just what they Like", I immediately heard the The Devil Wears Prada cerulean sweater speech. Like "oh, okay. I see, you think this has nothing to do with you...", which yes that was about fashion industry choices and how they filter down and impact styles but also about how fashion and aesthetics don't come from nowhere.
Every item and every style has a history to it that influenced it's creation as well as it's perception, and whether or not you know it, it still exists.
Whether that's punk fashion being based around "low" or working class clothes (with bands like the Ramones wearing torn jeans because they just wore through the knees of their jeans and couldn't afford new ones), or heavy metal leather styling being revolutionized by Judas Priest and Rob Halford, who was inspired by the leather daddy subculture, or one of the many styles influenced by black culture. The big issue I think comes in, especially like you said for those "lifestyle" aesthetics, when you try to deny the history of the style or the culture that formed it; trying to strip it of it's history and getting annoyed when people associate you with that culture (positively or negatively).
hiii tiffany I love your videos. I personally find them so interesting because I am 35 and don't use tiktok and i love to hear what people younger than me are talking about. I do find all of this to be a bit sad as it seems like a lot of thought and attention to put into what other people think of your style and how you fit in with the trends that other people are buying into instead of just doing you and not caring so much what anyone thinks. If no one was being overwhelmed by these videos of people discussing personal style, would it even matter? My point being, I think these may only be issues that matter when you are young because as you grow up you realize how little any of this matters and that is when you really start to find your personal style. You don't have to label it or compare it to others, it will exist either way. Not to sound cheesy but it really is so much more important how you move in the world, what you do and who you do it for, not how you look, that matters.
Also, I'm a tattoo artist by profession and I find the tattoo regrets to be quite a new phenomenon. Again, I think this is only an issue for younger people who feel pressure to get tattoos because they perceive them as cool and want to follow a trend. My advice to anyone whose worried about how they might feel after getting tattooed is to OWN IT. I've got some pretty dumb and dated tattoos and I love them all the same because I did that, I chose that and it made me happy at the time. Also remember that tattoos last forever and they are only for you so if you feel unsure, just wait.
Oh also, learning to mend and alter clothes goes a long way toward getting the look you really want and it feels a helluva lot more satisfying to add your own flair to something than to simply buy it.
@kaylanewell420 nah tattoo regrets have always existed. My 80 year old neighbour said the only thing he regretted was getting this tattoo...but not that one (pointing them out). He got a second tattoo to disguise the one he hated.
I’m getting more interested with boring clothes and comfortable shoes. Solid color dresses, comfortable shoes, crisp poplin shirts I can wear with leggings or with dress pants, and comfortable shoes. I have a few interesting things to wear over the boring things if I’m feeling it, but I’m moving towards fewer items of clothing. And, I can’t stress this enough, comfortable shoes.
I think simple and clean is a lot more accurate than boring🤣
My personal style? Idk probably somewhere halfway between the twee and soft grunge styles of early 2010s tumblr. My most "me" outfit is my nasa logo graphic tee, red skater skirt, red hi top converse with floral embroidery details and a navy and red check flannel overshirt with the sleeves rolled up.
Not gonna lie, I do feel that my tattoos and bangs elevate every outfit that I have. Even the boring ones are cool just because of my tats and bangs. Although sometimes I will slick my hair back because I have a sick widow's peak!
All that said though, I do wish I had more style. It's not for the lack of interesting clothes. I have lots of cool clothes... I just get tired and end up wearing the same 2 outfits. Especially in the summer! It's so hot that I feel limited to a tank top and shorts.
What ruined my personal style completely is the combination of these things happening at the same time: pandemic (lockdown) + pregnancy + adjusting to my very sporty boyfriends style, and buying functional clothes. It made sense at the time, but I can't seem to snap out of it...
Tiffany~ I love every video I've watched so far that you've made. Of course I support you finding your personal style and expressing yourself in a way that feels good, but from a viewer/content perspective, I think your styling/clothing/"set"/space supports the work you do and allows us to focus on the really well researched and insightful analysis and thought provoking ideas you share. It almost feels like there's no conflict of interest b/c those aspects are pretty neutral. If they weren't neutral, they'd be catching my attention much more and that would distract me from the content. So are you presenting content or are *you* the content? So many influencers are their content and I don't think that's healthy for them. When you are on camera I feel I am connecting to the heart of what you're sharing rather than a carefully constructed persona.
The other feeling I have, which I feel like you've echoed in many other areas is that when you are spending so much time focused on the exterior and appearances, it leaves less energy/time/money for substance and depth. I used to really be invested in my personal style and found it fun and satisfying. But for the last 10 years I've been living with chronic pain and fatigue and now a lot of things that look the way I like are painful on my body. what's even weirder is that "sporting a look" is now fatiguing! Like wearing jewelry or even bright colors or prints/patterns, i can feel how much energy it takes, literally, because my reserves are so low. But the upside of this is it made me realize that it was always taking energy, it's just i had energy to spare. These days, I need to wear things with stretch, that are semi-fitted, but not too loose b/c that is overwhelming to my system. I wear colors that are soothing. When i wear energizing colors, I actually feel zapped! But more and more I wear things that don't distract me from other aspects of life... I want people to interact with *me*, not my persona, not my mask. I do miss self-fashioning sometimes, but releasing it has also been freeing.
I have a very similar style journey as you. My wardrobe used to be exclusively thrifted and was so fun and funky. But then adulting happened with work life and my wardrobe has shifted to functional and now I feel utterly lost. But also thrifting feels like it falls flat recently and idk if its because I'm bigger than I used to be or if its because thrifting has turned into a subset of hustle culture.
Yesssss this video is dece. I think when you mentioned about tats and bangzzzz mixed with say prairie, I am very much the same and to me it’s like the Brit style. For example, growing up in the 90’s I loved Kate Moss’s style because it had that rebelliousness to it. So I like to mix it up and I think that’s a very British thing. So if I’m wearing a fun floral frock I will feel weird if I don’t pair it with messy hair or smudged liner and some biker boots. Keeps it being too neat and preppy for my taste.
I’m an outfit repeater and have clothes from years ago that I still wear, I only finally realize I’m not comfortable wearing tight clothes, I’m uncomfortable all day or self conscious. I feel amazing about my body and self in oversize clothes, and when going thru my closet, a lot of my clothes are oversize, so my subconscious knew I already liked that fit on me :)
Lolol. I remember electric grandpa back in the late 90s. Except we called it grunge and had a lot of music influence, skateboarding, etc.
I think one thing that really gets overlooked when fashion influencers and content creators talk about personal style is the way that the practical requirements of someone's life influence style. Because an influencer's job is to look good on-camera, so prioritizing "being themself" makes sense. But that is not the way a lot of people's lives work 😂
For example, I'm an art teacher, and that affects my wardrobe in a pretty big way. Every day at work I let a bunch of Kindergarteners loose with paint and markers. My wardrobe is a constant balancing act between looking prefessional, expressingyself, and being extremely machine washable. 😂
And that's how clothing usually works. Yes, expressing yourself is important, but you also have to prioritize spending money on things that suit your life and living situation.
My "personal style" is just the clothes I own. I try to buy vintage or second-hand because I despise fast fashion quality and I want my clothes to last for at least 20 more years. I know it's not trendy and I couldn't care less about it.
The thing with those items is that I can't really get picky, so it either fits me or it doesn't, and that also leads to the new item to actually be worn and not sit in my closet for years.
Some personal thoughts on you saying that your videos seem too “boring” compared to other video essayists/fashion influencers: I’ve been watching your videos since high school and im about to graduate college. i love the consistency, and tuning in whenever you posted was honestly one of the highlights of my week back in the day. Even though your videos might seem “simple” in comparison, it’s always evident as a viewer how much thoughtfulness and research you put into them all. that’s what has kept me around so long :) the setup doesn’t need to be as interesting when what you’re saying is so captivating. But, on the flip side, I’ve always just thought you were so beautiful! I’m definitely listening to what you’re saying, but sometimes i just look at the screen like “wow, she is so pretty!” haha. If you read this, just know that you’re doing amazing and as an Anthropology undergrad your videos are always sooo intriguing and full of the best little bits of knowledge on the Internet. Wishing you the best always, congrats on motherhood 🥹🩷
My “new years resolution” this year was to not buy any more clothes, shoes, accessories, jewelry, hats etc. So far so good. I prepped by making a pinterest board of outfits I’d actually wear and then just purchasing the items that repeated multiple times, like a type of skirt or type or shoe. My friends thought I was crazy lol But I just borrowed a dress for a black tie event and didn’t die lol Meanwhile I think my friend purchased several dresses for the same event and second guessed her choice up until she started receiving compliments at the event.
If you wear things that feel comfortable and you think you look good in you do have a personal style. Mine has evolved over my 40 years in life, and I am the happiest I have ever been about it because I give no fs about what others think anymore.
I know lots of stylist say not to buy nultiple copies of items, but I always buy multiples of thibgs I really like - because i'd rather have an inventory of items I like and fit good rather than having to try to find new things every season. I have the same tanktop in 5 colours (12 of them total) I only have 2 other tanktops and Ibhave had them for 5 years now - they can't be bought anymore but because I have so many they are not worn out.
I learned my clothing management style from my mother who has a lot of items, last winter she took a jacket out of her "storage" that she bought in 1978, it was back in fashion now. I realise this is only possible if you have the space, but it does save you a lot of money because you make sure to wear the items you own.
As a mommy of two small children, I 100% feel what you feel. Over the past three years I have been in the same outfit every day. Leggings/yoga pants and a big t shirt. In school I used to share your same style. Very quirky/weird don’t give a freak outfits.
I am a tatted mama that has the wardrobe of an art teacher/homesteader and I feel like without my tattoos I would be perceived totally differently. Everything you are saying is hitting home. I am a new watcher to your videos and I will def be subscribing!
i definitely have a personal style that im super happy with, the trouble is how to make that work with summer, as someone who's illnesses are hugely made worse by heat, and whos style involves Layers haha
but thats exactly where things like pinterest boards come in useful, finding things that give the same energy, and figuring out by looking at those, what *i* can do about that . what are the lynchpins of these outfits, what parts *dont* i like, what parts represent things i already own and what *one* thing would transform what i currently have into something i want. (for me right now, its a very oversized button up/down shirt with the sleeves cut off, to go over an outfit, to add the visual texture, while still allowing all my fancy sleeves to be shown), and as a solution to summer, i have a lot of sheer outer layers, but hate a lot of fabrics that make up under layers, and so looking just for what types of fabrics i should be looking for to go under stuff..
this was far too many words but honestly this kind of thing means a lot to me, i still have clothes from when i was 15 and much more heavily into traditional goth, and even now, 10 years later, when my style is so much broader, theyre still items i wear and are part of my style!
Finally, somebody talking about this coming into a new era of my life with a new body and often feel like the clothes in the aesthetics that I like aren’t made for my body type not to mention sensory issues. I’ll think something looks cute. Go up touch it and it is the worst feeling in the world.
I would start by finding out your Kibbe body type, color season and essance. The power of these things combined will really help guide you to what looks good on you and what your over all vibe is. I would say that your body type is some sort of Natural and your color season is probably spring but you should really look into it if you want to nail down your personal style. Ellie Jean style and body is a great channel for this❤ good luck!!!
I was a very strange mix of punk and pink barbie as a teen. In my 20s I got tons if tattoos and at the same time started working in the government so I wore lots of suits. Had a while I was unsure if I was happy with my tattoos. But then I realized that I mostly love quirky and colorful cute and very feminine clothes. Turned my style around and finally my tattoos gave me the more cool and punk edge to my feminine style. It has been a journey but I don't think I would have gotten here without the tattoos to always give my look some more coolness😅
W.r.t. the tiktok shop tangent, it's worth pointing out that a large percentage of returns just get thrown away. Like, your returns aren't usually being sold to someone else they're just going to landfill. I think the obsession with trends is one of the biggest contributers to overconsumption & waste !
All of the clothes you have in your closet that you like and wear often, IS your style. You are just trying to find a label for it. Here you go (your name)-core. That is your style. You're welcome.
My problem lately is that all the nice tops/shirts I had, I wore them regularly for work. So now whilst I do still like them, they are really coded as 'work clothes'. So I don't want to wear them on the weekend. My current main approach is that I like this one brand (Princess Highway) and I just buy everything (except for basics) from them :-P
the biggest revelation i had for my personal style was that there is a pretty big difference between clothes that i like, and clothes that i like On Me. in my case it probably also had to do with Gender Things, but it made a huge difference to me when i realised that just because i think really feminine styles, dresses and skirts and long hair and such are beautiful, does not mean i like wearing them, and that for myself i really prefer a more androgynous style.
my issue is to achieve my personal syle that my heart yearns for, I would pretty much have to sew all the pieces myself. which will take years and years because I'm a beginner seamstress
I love your style Pinterest board, it's similar to what I like. Is it a public board you'd be willing to share? I understand if not and I loved the video, made me reconsider a lot of things about myself.
Last winter I got this realy loud wool overcoat, it's has a pattern in electric blue, orange and yellow. It made me walk with so much confidence. I love bright colors, but was dressing in very muted colors, just because It was what people wear to the office. That wool coat gave me the confidence to wear the things I realy enjoy, and since then I get much more praise on my fashion choises.
I became a mother in 2022, and at the time I was in a realy style rot, betwen starting working in a office, covid and hiting 30, I didn't knew wtf to wear. The post-partum fase isn't easy either because when you breastfeed you dress acording to it. So when I stoped breastfeeding I got rid of a ton of clothes I didn't want to wear and invested on a couple of things that I LOVED, and it realy made a diference.
Honestly, my job keeps me from even thinking much about MY personal style. I work as a fitness and yoga instructor and live in leggings and tanks. I might get fixed up once a month. I like looking at fashion and what other people are wearing, but I don't have the money to be investing in clothing I'm going to wear a few times a year. And we all know workout clothes are expensive, so that's where I have to invest.
I don’t really understand why millennials complain about this the most when they’re the ones who started the internet aesthetic labels on tumblr. and it was a phase for most of them, just as it was for gen z. it just seems hypocritical.
Personal style does exist, but maybe that’s because I’m older now and I just wear what looks interesting to me, according to many videos on 2010’s style, I’m stuck in 2014 -2016
Dressing up during pregnancy is soooooo hard, i felt huge and fat and ugly and i ended up wearing comfortable practical clothes. When my babies were born i lost a lot of weight quickly but my body was/is very different from before and i had to buy new clothes. After a few years i feel more confident and better and most importantly finally like i choose my clothes from personal style and not to be part of a group. But i definitely don’t follow trends, i’d rather pick things that go well together, fit me and that i will wear for as long as possible.
Btw her videos are so interesting, no matter what she thinks 😭
I’m just one random on the internet but I’ve been watching you for years and I’ve never once thought you seemed or looked boring! I think part of people’s style or appeal or “coolness” can also be influenced by the way they carry themselves and their confidence etc. and I’m someone with bangs and tattoos if that means anything 😂 I struggle with my style too but if I had to pick my most “me” items I’d say wide leg shorts, tank tops or shirts that are a bit on the baggy side, and especially my pair of doc marten boots I’ve had for a decade now! they currently have rainbow laces on em
Omg this felt like a great conversation with a good friend. I think about this topic so much lately. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Tattoos and blonde hair are the things that scream „cool person“ to me. But for 2 years i stopped bleaching my hair and they now look so healthy 😂 and there is no money for tattoos right now😂😂
i feel like when you are a teen / young adult, you are still growing and have to get new clothes often. so, your clothes don't stagnate. once you are fully grown, you really don't need to get clothes again until they wear out, which happens so slow, you get to watch your clothes go out of style and feel resigned about it, unless you are willing to spend the money. also, when you are in school, you are literally just sitting in a chair, your clothes barely have to function, so you can dress silly/costumey. once you have adult responsibilities, your clothes have to actually function in real life. i think it's natural because of these 2 things to have a fashion crisis at some point and wonder "where did my style go?"
Started buying basics and neutrals because I needed some (recent college grad, need adult clothes) and realized I vibe the most in basics and neutrals...oops. I am also a heavily tattooed person which tends to help with how simple my outfits are on their own, and I've really been enjoying the euphoria I feel when my outfit and tattoos complement each other.
I would love to see you on twitch live streaming and chatting! I enjoy your videos so much about internet analysis and it could be nice to just casual chatting about it with you, would be a cool way to see other people's perspectives about those topics
someone asked me if i was going for the “gothcore” / “grungecore” bc i wore a lot of black and i had to tell them no im just insecure and i sweat profusely
I have recently discovered that I love to wear dresses again since I buzzed off my hair. With long hair I always felt so conservative looking, like the metioned mormon mummy 😂 And I didn't wear dresses and skirts for years. Now my hair is very short and suddenly I feel COOL. Like seriously written in capitals COOL. It might be like getting tattoos, but thank goodness it is not as permanent 😂
When I style myself on an outing, my bf will describe my aesthetic as “eclectic.” Honestly, I just think it’s because I’m an Aquarius and I love to express my look in a way that feels authentic to me, which is synonymous to an Aquarius description. Interesssting me thinks
Former dancer chiming in to also say that one of the things that irks me about "ballerina-core" is that these people don’t like that trend because they want to be ballerinas, they like it for what it hints at generally-- ballerinas are, historically, waifishly thin, graceful, hyperfeminine, beautiful, come from some kind of money, disciplined, quiet. Being those things is trending with younger girls, not an interest in ballet, and it's disquieting that those things are trending because of what that says about who a young woman is allowed to be right now.
Me sitting in my pajamas working at my desk in the afternoon with office-friendly (nothing visible with sleeves rolled up) tattoos and bangs. It has been raining for two weeks, and we hang dry our laundry here. Almost everyone in my morning meeting call were wearing non-work clothes. It's bottom of the barrel, back of the wardrobe clothes fashion season, baby!
... But it's okay. I have tattoos and bangs. Tiffany things I'm cool! 😱
I loved your video, so many people I need to check out because of it. BTW, I’m a mom, with tattoos, that shares my outfit since I’m on my journey to finding my style 😊
My problem is my personal style and what i can realistically wear to work are a venn diagram of two circles that never meet ;_;
i keep ending up with clothes i love but rarely wear, and clothes that are super boring but i wear all the time. it’s rough, but such is life
4:44 i agreed with this person until they said that using other people as a crutch can lead to imitation (with the subtext that imitation is not desirable). like 75% of my outfit inspiration process is seeing how clothing sits on other people and trying to replicate silhouettes that i find joy or interest in. as much as i like to play dress-up in my room trying to style my closet in new ways independently, other fashionable people--and the way they style items--are core to my process. lots of the things that have then become cornerstones of my style were discovered by replicating someone else's outfit using the pieces in my closet. for that reason, i consciously remind myself and tell others that lots of my styling quirks did not originate from me. even though it is important to synthesize a bunch of different sources together to form something that reads as original, this focus on originality in personal style can so easily take away from the social nature of experimental fashion. ultimately, i copy people all the time! it's just part of the game.
I was way more creative with my clothes before becoming a mom. I felt like I was watering my style down after but there no shame in just being a mom and having no style just to function. Fuck if lol but when I do have good days… I go back to that creative dressing I used to. My child loves to give her opinion now on my style and she’s super creative with her own style. So I’m having so much fun. Pregnancy style can be a rut but it isn’t forever.
watched this whole video while crunching my nugget ice just to get called out for it last minute
The fact that your videos are normie was what got me into video essays! You felt relatable 😂
Honestly, I am getting tired of social media figures constantly telling people "you did this not because you wanted but because social media"
Stop denying your viewer's autonomy. The only sensible question to ask is "why did you get this?" no matter if the person is wearing a trendy or not trendy thing
If they say "because X worn it" then yeah, that is not personal style
If they say "because I like it" then leave them alone oh my goodness.
Great video! Dressing yourself during pregnancy is hard and can continue to be challenging as you enter postpartum life. I don’t mean to discourage you. Brace yourself for any changes in your body or simply wearing clothes that is functional especially if you are nursing. I had a really hard time with this and finally after 2 babies and many fantasy selves I am wearing what feels like me again. Well this just turned into a rant. I hope your iron levels get where they need to be. Sending all the good vibes! ❤
Actually it's a very interesting topic in context of neuropsychology. I've always wondered WHY we like things we think we like and the answer is so multifaceted, rooted in concepts like our social evolution and ego development.
I don't agree that people incorporate a certain aesthetic because they'd like to have a hobby, it's derogatory. You can like horses and you don't have to dress like a imagined horse girl after all.
Aesthetic is an aesthetic, nothing more, it's about how it makes us feel, if it's a fantasy of a different world where you feel free riding a horse on a praire, and it's the closest of what you can come up with, but you don't even like horses, dressing like that might give you this feeling.
We're just actors and finally, as in the whole humankind history, we get to have fun with it without social or economical restraints, have fun with our egos, not take ourselves so seriously anymore.
For example, I've always dressed dark academia, much earlier than it had a name, and I don't ever read fiction. But my family is quite modern, and I didn't like THEM, I felt very alienated, so it was a way of showing I'm spiritually not from this family. In my early-mid teens I didn't buy fashionable shoes but saved money for a wooden, hand-painted jewel case. I couldn't find anything I liked in the boutiques, and second-hand dressing at that time was something different, so I had to sew my own clothes to feel myself. It gave me a sense of belonging and safety, I never felt like imitating anything but being a part of a certain movement of something I considered smarter and deeper, and more suitable for my existence. When I visited England for the first time (I was 13/14) I felt like at home.
And aesthetic labels are just that. Labels. So we can talk about it and find inspiration. And it's so great. When I discovered "dark academia" is a thing, I was able to elevate my style with inspirations and find new pieces so much easier.
Notice how much you said about your reasons for "not having a personal style". It IS your personal style right now lol. It's how you express how you feel, you need to be comfy. Anything is a personal style because we have to always choose what we wear and how we paint our nails. Painting your nails "some random color" is the part of it. Aspirational style is aspirational because actually it's not that easy to be meticulous about your wardrobe, it's like a whole new hobby, research, collection, funds, testing out, evolving, making it better; it's like painting a series of pictures, nobody is born with this skill but it comes through practice. When you're tired, or don't have much time, it takes over your indentity, and it will show in your actual style, because it's who you are.
How you want to be perceived (as a part of a group or not) is about you, not about the trend/aesthetic. After all you could dress as a mormon mommy but something is off for you, that you don't decide to do it, and it's not about how it looks but how you identify and if you're okay with others (mostly strangers) thinking something about you, even if it's something you imagine they'd do.
There's always a reason we choose the style. There's always a reason why we like this style. It's always "ours", we never imitate, even if we try to recreate it from the pinterest boards, and even if imitation is our goal (because aiming to imitate something is also something about YOU). You could choose anything else but you chose that because of how it makes you feel. Maybe you want to dress as a fairy because you are scared of growing up, or you're adult but you never had proper childhood, maybe it reminds you of something, good times. Maybe you want to wear punk, because it speaks for you that you are not that approachable, that you feel threatened, or you need to feel as a part of your group, not necessarily that you rebel against the system as other people in the past did, they only expressed themselves through the clothing, the clothing itself means nothing until you decide it does. Maybe you admired your aunt who dressed a certain way and you'd like to become more like her. Maybe you want to blend in, maybe you need to distinguish yourself from others, maybe you need to change a self-concept, or be easier for others to approach you. Maybe your style is connected to your values you got from your family (like e.g. modesty), or represents new values you figured out yourself. There are so many reasons... Boiling it down to "I can't afford a horse" is really.... ehh
My style is "would be 'fashionable' if i was skinny but because im not its seen as having no style"
The obly new clothes i own are underwear and two pairs of pants.
The rest are all hand me downs from my brothers, family friend etc. I hate shopping and i am fat to boot.
I feel like the things i like i can not wear, or not allowed to wear. Because nothing looks good on me.
I wear primarily dark colours but i would love to wear something bright and colourfull and yet i feel like i shouldnt.
I just dress in fit and flare dressed with bug vintage style curls and call it fashion
I’m anemic all the time. I feel ya.
The iron thing SUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS. I have tried 4 different types of pills and one liquid, and so far, it isn't helping. Weirdly, the ice craving hasn't happened, nor has the dirt eating craving. But I can tell my hemoglobin is low, like...I can FEEL it. It's a very alien thing to feel. As well, considering so many people all over the world have issues with iron, why hasn't an effective and easily absorbed iron supplement been invented? I read somewhere that someone was put on a pre-natal pill regimen, despite the fact that she was in her mid 50s, and it worked for her, I guess because of the Vitamin C? I tried the iron pill + orange juice. Let's just say, the bowels loosened and I started to fear it'd never end. I tried a different pill that was supposedly more easily absorbed. Hi, lightheadedness! Hi, stomach upset! Hi, constipation at the same time! The Smart Solutions Iron Smart liquid is PACKED with sugar to make it taste good, and I find all that sugar can't be taken right before bed for obvious reasons. I tried taking it in the morning, and I was super aggressive all day (that's what sugar does to me). My doctor is one of those, 'oh, your arm is broken? Have you tried losing weight?' types, so he has been no help. I have no idea what to do. If you find a magic solution, please share!!!
I feel like what you are wearing in a video doesn’t matter, I as a viewer come for the topic, for the discussion, for your thoughts and opinions. So dress however you like!
12:13 these videos are obvi jokes but I love them
I wouldn’t consider Ballet and equine sports “hobbies” it’s more of a lifestyle choice both take incredibly insane amount of time and resources and personal growth. Ask anybody that are into horse or ballet and they will tell you it’s not a “hobby” I think that there are some social status correlated to ballet and equine sports. Both require money and time that certain social economic class can’t afford.