193 - Looking Beyond The Masks People Wear with Chase Hughes
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- Опубликовано: 14 дек 2019
- Chase Hughes is a leading behaviour expert and creates psychological research and techniques for intelligence agencies for operations ranging from interrogation to behaviour profiling.
He's recently become what Entrepreneur Magazine called the 'secret weapon' for businesses around the country. His best-selling book 'The Ellipsis Manual', has revolutionised the way we look at persuasion and influence.
After a 20 year career in the US Military, Chase now develops and teaches courses in interrogation, negotiation, influence, persuasion and ‘extreme people-reading’ around the world.
On this episode we discuss:
* How his career began (very interesting)
* Everybody wears some form of social-mask Human Needs, (such as feeling powerful, significance and acceptance)
* Pretending not to be insecure
* Fears, personal weaknesses and insecurities
* It's good to look behind the mask without judging. As soon as you judge, you've lost
* Selling to the human, not the mask
* Clubs, gangs, t-shirts, colleague rings, etc. are all part of needing acceptance
* Social tribes, if we didn’t fit in we died or were outcast
* Three primary, and three secondary masks that we wear
- Significant: I make a difference
- Approval: I need permission
- Acceptance: I belong
* The most fearful BARK the most
* Anger: Is a secret desire to change something that we know is changeable
* How to spot a narcissist
* Monitoring Blink Rates
* Secret weapons in business
If you have any questions about this episode, please email me at tf@tysonfranklin.com, or you can connect with Chase Hughes via his website www.chasehughes.com/ or reach out to him on Linkedin.
If you want to check out other episodes, please visit my podcast page www.tysonfranklin.com/podcast
And if you'd like to be kept up to dates with my EVENTS & NEWSLETTER, or learn about how I can help you with BUSINESS COACHING & specifically helping you create a marketing strategy that works, please visit my website www.tysonfranklin.com/
FREE DOWNLOADS: 12 Secrets to Get More People Through Your Front Door. www.tysonfranklin.com/12-secrets
I'm in love with Chase Hughes!!!!
Me tooo!!
Love his mind
Same 😅
Loved the series Lie To Me. I had alcoholic parents and my brother was murdered at 44 by a neighbor/ friend. I have been obsessed with behavior and body language. I also love TBP. During my career as a nurse I developed a 'feel' for what patients needed when dealing w Alzheimer's, elderly pts w dementia and end of life care. I am 74 and loved my career and still do love helping ppl. Thank you for this wonderful presentation.
@Linda Sheldon. I’m a nurse too and I also love TBP. These types of interviews are so interesting.
Love Chase Hughes ❤
Chase Hugh’s aka tan daddy 😂. I love him too
Chase Hughes is really the real deal. And he listens. I’d trust his judgement any day. Very much the gentleman from UK 🇬🇧
“Leave everybody better,
than you found them.”
Just been binge listening to Chase Hughes interviews and this one would have to be the most enjoyable. I can hear in the tone of their voices the great connection Dr T & Chase Hughes have. Excellent gems of advice are given during this very interesting interview. Thank you for a great podcast 😎
Thank you Carolyn for your kind words. Chase did say off-air that he felt so relaxed when we were talking that he forgot it was being recorded.
I loved this too. Chase sounds like a really kind, empathetic intelligent understanding guy.
Great pod cast , thank you 🧡💛💚
I, too, am bingeing on Chase Hughes!
Was great u got Chase to relax. I've listened to many, and this while still being professional, was a more human connection . Chase has many experiences in combat, and you got to hear one snippet, full of humour too. Go the Aussie's,
This Hughes fella is an eloquent speaker! For these body language experts, studying communication through "observation" is a "science." Learning to be quiet and observe others is a skill that has to be developed for more meaningful connections with the world around us. If one has a disability in this area, like ADD or auditory dyslexia, then we really miss out on life. Looking forward to enjoying this interview.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
)ll
Chase- I’ve learned so much from watching/listening to you and also on TBP - loved this one! Thanks 😊
I have to agree, I always learn something every time I hear Chase speak, regardless of the topic.
@TysonFranklin .Hi guys I am here 3 years later, but I just wanted to share with you an experience I had about 2 years ago. I had just had a baby and I had taken him for a walk in his pram, he was about 3 weeks old. I crossed a road when a car pulled out of a junction on to me, he stopped a few inches away from me. The driver was male, and his (assuming) girlfriend pushed him and shouted at him. I shouted at him and swore at him, i stuck my finger up at him, and gestured that I have a newborn baby. It was an awful situation to be in 😂 so what person am I 😂
chase is such a nice guy!
and he openly shares his valuable information, which is great.
Chase I would like you to do an episode on the 29 ways to spot a narcissist on first date/meeting
Try listening to Sam Vaknin, Les Carter about narcissists. Great info.
I find Chase very attractive and I don't usually with anyone online. I always wondered what it is about him that is so appealing. This video explained very well the reason for that. Body language is very important for attractiveness. It's way up there in necessary traits to me. Much more than appearance or clothing to me. I like a man who is present behind his eyes.
Smart is sexy:)
Love Chase Hughes, check him out on the Behaviour Panel
Tan daddy always does an awesome job but I also just found someone to binge on! Thank you Dr T!!
Chase Hughes gives us the keys to open almost any lock of human mental resistance.
I'm a level four! WooHoo! If I get cut off in traffic and a person goes out of their way to be a jerk, I feel sad for them. It's got to be hard to live such an angry reactive lifestyle.
Same. I mutter: hope ya make it, pal.
Dr T. should I feel very strange now? When I was listening to the part about the masks... and everybody wanted to fit in somewhere. I never felt like I fitted in somewhere. I tend to step away from people. And certainly crowds. I have a few very good friends (that I have know for a very long time, some more than 30 years) but there are a lot off people I don't connect to (and I don't have the need to do) But perhaps that is because I grew up with narcissistic people? I like been on my own. Most days I prefer my dogs over people (what you see is what you get is what I love in them), I really love the quiet nature of being alone.
I totally understand what you mean
What a fantastic interview! Chase Hughes is so incredibly interesting! I won’t say, I love him since everybody else beat me to it. but…….jus’sayin’
Love chase 💕
When someone flips me off or cuts into my lane, I simply give them their space. I only hope they dont hurt themselves or anyone else!
I have watched Psych with several of my kids as they become old enough. It is fun and hilarious. I have also used it as a tool to make a point to them to pay attention to others and their surroundings. Loved Lie to Me, as well. But Chase is even more interesting. Thank you for the interview.
I'm glad you enjoyed it. Chase was a great guest.
Great interview!
thank you John
Just had your book delivered while listening - looking at index excited to read it
This was great
I really enjoyed this!
At 26 minuets in you mention how when you were younger if someone would have cut you off and flipped the bird you would have flogged them, but now not so much.
It isn’t numbing or desensitizing there isn’t as much anger because you have come to terms with the fact he’s or she is a dick and you can’t change that.
Like chase mentioned you get angry when you think you can change a behavior.
Super interesting vid. Had no idea chase was in the navy, my father as well was navy and ended up only retiring after not getting master chief.
People like to think navy as an “easier” military job but it really just depends on the job and level of dedication so chase thank you for your service
CHASE!!!! 💗 💕 ❤️
What a fascinating discussion!
I am in love with Case Hughes!
Very interesting, also funny, all in all enjoyable. Thank you.
HYSTERICAL.... Doctor T and Chase what a great show I laugh and I learned and I hope you do it again really soon you know it's been over a year now...... What do you say doctor T?
Alright girls, calm down over spunky Chase.
He's mine! Alright! 😅
He’s one of the best! Mr Cool!!!
Great podcast! ☺️
Since everything we wear communicates, isn't wearing "neutral" clothing akin to wearing social "camouflage", &/or being a member of the population attempting anonymity, &/or that they have other priorities (cost, source, Etc.). Analogously, cars that aren't flashy still communicate (other priorities, resources, availability, functionality, maintenance access, seats, storage capacity, Etc.).
You mention IT people thinking they don't need people skills. OMG do they ever need it. One big reason is because the client often cannot clearly explain what they want. As the professional, the IT person should be pointing out, and not in an arrogant way, ... should point out the pitfalls of the design or concept they originally give you. And like Dr. T says, one of the best questions is "And what else do you need?", "What else?", "Anything else?" ... that kind of thing.
This was a very informative and hilarious interview!! Thanks!!
OMGSH!!!! Over and over wonderful wisdom pours out of you Chase...Thank you, you helped me see a narcissist counselor..Wow
Thank you for having Chase on, Tyson! I was told by a family member a few times to unmask myself and just be myself! Is that possible? I don't wear it, I don't think so when I'm with my daughter or my bosom buddies!
I think awareness is the key, and it sounds like you're aware.
@@TysonFranklin Okay, thanks a lot!
37:00 i'm in the caregiver industry; one thing what i took note of is the psychology class and the 'notion that you need to be an 'active listener...No matter the problem; you listen and stop yourself from talking unless it's needed to make the patient keep talking...aand you continue listening...
I really like Dr. T, he has a great sense of humor!
thank you
Just started listening to this podcast and already this series i've watched 'Lie to me' gets mentioned. From what i've learned from the 'Behavioral panel' there are a few incongruencies but overall i found it to be a great accompanying series to elaborate on the subject... Actor skills put aside...
Around :32 minutes (the discussion of recognizing narcissists) there was a question posed whether it was weird to introduce a friend mentioning their high school or college claim to fame somewhat. I would posit this is good etiquette practices, particularly, as it was stated this friend in question had gone to a private school. Old fashioned etiquette standards would state when introducing someone you state their name along with an interesting fact.
Very engaging with lots of valuable info, definitely kept me listening to it all.
Always great to hear people talking shop, because I only heard 2 or three #uhm -s. Hello from Holland!
There was an expression that it was when the patient was leaving doctors office, handle of the door, that the real reason for visit would come out their mouth. Don't know how true that is.
What a talent to have and wished I had one when married to a narc!!!!!
How could anyone resist Chase ? You seem like a really shy nice guy ...... from right I learned from chase reading him! Lol Look at those eye's. Would love, love , love, to pick his brain.
I know. He must’ve just used himself as a hypothetical example rather than real life.
Did you get to Sydney with the lockdown.
Thank you!!! I married one man and woke up sick next to another one!!! I broke and he left! Autoimmune disease saved my life!
Chase, would you say that a 'mask' could be an unconscious idea or action, or else just pretty much a conscious projection? I am fascinated with this and, at least my idea, that the 'ego' is essentially an unconscious version of the mask; all the ideas, beliefs, thoughts, feelings, etc. programmed into us that most people would identify themselves as. And then of course, as we start to consciously identify these beliefs, etc., we can start to unravel and see through to that which is before and from which the beliefs, identities, etc., actually arise from. Thank you gentlemen.
@4.15 "You initially used it for evil" - no, wrong assumption.... Completely unfair.
And I've watched Chase for many hours in total - and what he says in response was patent and fine. But I've never seen him regress to 19 years old before, as he did in reaction to this accusation, which put him back into an aspect of that world : : "Like, err, like....it was like"
Having just had a cataract removed, I'll bet a profiler couldn't infer much from my blink rate. I suppose an ophthalmologist could; for instance, yesterday one posited that fluid was leaking from the back chamber into the front, but I won't be putting my eyeball into a glass trinket to wear around my neck.
The first thing a profiler does is establish a baseline. While it is true that your blink rate is abnormal there is still a possibility that your [current abnormal] baseline blink rate is different from the rate when you're being deceptive.
@@markdandeneau3404 Oh, I know. I'm just a crochety old hag with a weird sense of humor! I was mostly being contrarian in order to alleviate my anxiety about my eye--it feels to me somewhat like gallows humor, one way I deal with life's little easter eggs.
When is Chase coming to LONDON?
September 2022 hopefully
Tan daddy! Uhu!
I can spot manipulators in their first two sentences or paragraphs (or a few meetings if the person is a more subtle manipulator).
I lighten things up with AGT or BGT that said;I loved lie to me and the mentalist and I used to watch psych quite a bit… I have never spotted that damn pineapple ❤
Re the truck scenario, I've reconciled myself to realizing that I simply don't know enough to answer the question "Why?".
Sans the hand gesture and brief application of the brakes, I've had to cut in front of people in traffic to get to the hospital quickly. Before I became disabled from sequelae of breast-cancer treatment, I was a Family Doctor who delivered babies in a small-ish town Hospital where the only in-house Dr was an E.R. Dr {most ~ "break out in hives when a pregnant woman presents there, and redirect them to the O.B. dept in which R.N.s are the only scheduled staff).
In fact, the most serious single patient emergency that exists is a "code purple" which is cardiac arrest in a baby still in the womb (& that's potentially viable). Alas, there's no way to communicate what's at stake if a Dr can't get to their destination stat. Likely not uncommon for various on-call first responders. Point? Idk why another vehicle might be driving aggressively to get in front of me.
Chase is kind and respectful. It is no secret. Just treat people the way you want to be treated. Anywhere. Anytime. Duh
I'm gonna walk my dog now and i will relisten to the podcast after..i'm not the smartest person on earth, but i am taking notes and feel i missed some stuff..
🙏🏼✏️
6:25 At my age i no longer feel the need to conform. I walk don't down the street on my daily route, if the guy that always says 'Hi' to me all of a sudden doesn't; i don't go into a panic.. Maybe someone said to him something that is unfavorable about me or he realised something about me or he is just having a bad day.. I jus t can no longer care what people think of me; it is a mentally exhausting exercise... Does this put me into an APD group ? I must explain that philosophically i feel kindred to the 'misanthrope...
Of course we get angry at hurricane.s. Absolutely
I wish there was a T-shirt out there that is plain but says: i can see your suffering. Bring it cause as an amateur i just might print it myself..
So if we all wear a mask, that means Chase wearing a mask too.
I like his mask so far
I’d go home with you, Chase!
What college Chase because your background does not cover that?
I love watch a lot of cooking shows but the kitchen is another story.
If I were a spy and someone pulled out a pair of tweezers and started picking my eye brows I’d probably tell them to waterboard me instead.
That hurts like hell, how do women even do that?
Would women also be more resistant to torture being used to picking their eye brows?
Questions abund...
It's not sore after first few times. Try it.
Women here, it doesn’t hurt at all. Plucking nose hairs on the other hand 😆
Space monkeys