Aggression For Attention
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- How we handle any aggression (when it's attention seeking). Most of the time it's playful but it's still not ok so we remove the desired reinforcer for the behavior. #autism #fatheringautism
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My husband and I adopted our grandson when he was 15 months old. He was very speech delayed and has sensory processing disorder but is high functioning. I wanted to let you know I never understood the way he gets aggressive until you guys shared this. Your you tube has helped me so much in helping my little boy. He is now 5 years old.
Thank you for opening your house and hearts to that wonderful boy of yours! I don't know your family situation and I have no idea what lead up to you adopting him... but it kinda sounds like that otherwise he would've ended up in the system and that probably would have been the worst possible scenario. Thank you! If nobody ever tells u that... Thank you! You are amazing!
That’s great but there are plenty of support groups out there that can help you. This family exploits Abby for money, do you want to be complicit in the exploitation of someone who cannot give consent and she often signs that she doesn’t want to be on camera but her father told her she doesn’t have that choice! Please find help in a place that isn’t exploiting their autistic daughter for money! Do you honestly think she’d be okay with some of the stuff they show people? She has no privacy! She deserves the respect and decency of not having her life with autism shown to the entire world! I pray you look at these videos with new eyes and stop watching these videos. Just the title of this video infuriates me. Poor Abby! 💔
@@The_Lion_And_The_Lamb if you feel that way then stay off their page. They are amazing people helping others by sharing their lives.
@@ReeRee_is_watching_you thank you for that. It was hard to have his biological mother come to us and tell us she wanted us to keep him. Our son is his biological father but for years battled a drug addiction and is currently 6 months sober. He is a big part of our little guys life now and I will never keep either of his biological parents from him but I will also do anything to keep him safe and healthy. And yes he would of been in the system as her family had/has nothing to do with him.
♤ 200APRIL
It seems her aggression is mostly towards Priscilla. I could see the hurt on Priscilla's face. 💓
I was just thinking the same thing..
Every child no matter who has a favourite parent. Some succeed to hide it better than others. In this case Priscilla is not Abbie's prefered parent, but she doesn't mean harm at all. She is not hostile, she only needs more of Mom's attention at that moment, because she doesn't really want to do what Dad wants her to do. I think any Mom will feel a bit embarrassed in this situation. They both are such lovely parents and I adore their patience. It really is not easy. My son is 32 and I often receive a hostility from him, due to our specific circumstances in the relationship in our house over many years. Only he is a highly functional man even though he is on the autism spectrum. I still tend to forget it and when I loose my patience/temper I'm making matters much worse.
Frankly I adore Asa and Priscilla's calm and patient way of handling the situation. Especially Asa's protective attitude to Priscilla in difficult situations like this.
I would have walked away from Abbie, if she acted that way. Autism or not.
I’ve often wondered why Priscilla doesn’t do the things a Mom would normally do, like brushing her hair, putting her to bed, helping her brush her teeth, etc.. I realize the channel is called “Fathering Autism”, but it’s an observation I’ve made. I know we don’t see everything on the vlogs. It just seems like Dad does the majority of things with Abigail and for that reason, he’s the favored parent. 🤷♀️🤷♀️
@@janetvandagna8344 I agree I’ve seen in all the years I’ve been watching.
I love how Cilla always says “I hope you have the best day” when Abbie goes to school. I’m going to say that to my kids.
Gosh I have a 17 year old boy who has autism and he is verbal. He has aversion to showers and hygiene issues, but he is much better. Sometimes he destroys things out of anger. I am a single mom and have in home therapy, individual therapy, therapeutic mentor and in home behavioral therapy. I am trying to get direct ABA. I try to be kind, patient, loving, teach him, be positive, accepting and also show him how to do things. You guys are amazing ! Wonderful parents and I watch these videos to see some ideas for my son. Abby is so happy and has a wonderful life. Love those pins
Having had first hand experience of living with someone with learning difficulties the hardest part is knowing that person is totally unaware of their own strength. As a physically fit grown young woman she has no idea that play time and excitement can be rough play. Lots of love 😍
exactly ... we also happen to do something towards our husband with too much force in a fit of emotions: pull his clothes, hand, tap his chest, pinch, jump on him, etc. not because we want to hurt him, but because that with stronger emotions our brain gets "short-circuited" and the body is much more out of control, we have much more sudden, strong movements, because this is how our body tries to relieve tension and emotions. Most often it occurs under the influence of joy [but sometimes also anger], the husband is used to it and is even happy [we also suffer from depression, so such moments of joy are worth their weight in gold for us]. My husband often tells us that he loves our autistic world, even though it can be difficult, heavy, sad, dark, brutal for us and for him.
I'm sorry, Mom. I know that has to hurt you so much. 💔
I never comment on RUclips,but I have to say you guys are such amazing parents ❤️🙏 I don’t have anyone with special needs but I have 6months old baby girl and you guys helping just general how patient parents you are and how much you love your kiddos 🙏❤️
Very brave to show this. I'm sure it helps many people. I know there are many things you choose to not show, for obvious reasons. However moments like these are so raw and unfiltered. People "share" their lives on social media but rarely do they show moments like these. It's okay to show uncomfortable situations, you never know who may need to see it as it may help them in their own lives.
By liking my comment I hope you check out my 4th of July fireworks videos! When I saw you were in Nebraska this past 4th of July, I was sort of jealous. Had wished you had come to my little small town in Kansas with the best 4th of July fireworks!!
So when you hop in the RV next time you check out my neck of the woods :-)
Hi Asa, recognise a lot of the sensory issues from my 2 boys. Those long tight socks give a lot of deep pressure on the lower legs, cafs, ankles and feet. They give deep neuro/sensory stimulation and that just may be why she can tolerate those shoes. 🤷♀️ It works like this with my 2 boys. Just wanted to tell you this, as you said that it was strange or at least interesting. Greetings from The Netherlands.
I love the way you treat Abby like you would treat any child!!! You are wonderful people!!!
She's so loved. What great parents
Ignoring the aggression or removing Abbie from the attention is only one step in teaching her more appropriate ways to ask to play.
Why not just tell her, “don’t hurt mom, if you want mom to play do ____”? Then show her how.
She obviously wanted to have fun and needed some physical play time.
Can you do a blog on the steps you do to redirect behavior, what to do when it is successful or unsuccessful and what’s important to do? The way you stay calm and always follow through is something I’m working on
I work with an aggressive 37 yr old man 6'4" 185lbs. He will go after everyone. His go to is to knuckle your kneecaps and scratching and pinch and self harm. When he's mad at me he will barely pick the skin on the top of my hand. He knows I mean business if he wants to really go after me. But I love him and he knows this.❤
Lol 6foot5 .... n under 200 pounds...what's he tall n skinny Like a bean pole 😆 ...yeah Tall skinny linky guy isn't really intimidating maybe for you
@@jimmyjames3819 shut up
Having boundaries is necessary as we know .
Aw Priscilla, I love you. I could see how much it hurts you when she acts out. Please have Asa give you a big hug for me. 🤗
Your such a great mom Cilla. Your very kind words held me together in hard times. Your heart is pure gold. You two are the best parents and I hope I can guide my niece through her journey of life with autism. Have learned so much from you. Thank you thank you
Question……what do you think Abbie would have done if her mom got up and walked away. Would that have escalated the aggression.
We have dealt with aggression from our now 18yo son with ASD3/IDD since he was 4 years old. Unfortunately, a lot of that aggression was directed toward his baby brother and people with certain personality types - typically noisy people. At the time we thought it was sensory processing and a fight or flight response in aversion to loud noises (which it probably is in part) but with many intense behaviors we started to see that it was also sometimes out of frustration (which could lead to meltdowns and a complete loss of control,) task aversion (creating distractions to get out of doing something he didn’t want to do in the moment,) or attention seeking (doing something that he knows will get others attention with minimal effort.) Of course, manipulation figures into it as well. As puberty set it, the behaviors got more intense and yes it has been especially prevalent in the late afternoon and evening when he’s “mentally” tired but emotionally manic and still physically hyperactive. Our challenge is that he uses his teeth though. It’s hard because the behaviors are usually so severe that it’s impossible to ignore them and any reaction is seen as reinforcement. Fwiw as you see with Abbie most of the time this aggression is not out of anger; sometimes he’s being playful and sometimes he’s actually sad - though for the most part he’s happy. What worries us most is when there’s no emotional at all and a behavior suddenly happens. THAT’S what scares us.
I take my hat off to these very giving and patient parents. I have 4 grown children. Raising children who are healthy with no issues is hard enough. To raise a child with autism must be extremely hard. I could not do it.
Thanks for sharing your lives with us all. I love how you share your love.
During a situation like that, because the aggression was towards only one parent, at that moment, shouldn’t the parent having the issue with the child be the one addressing it? Especially if you had not been there? May help her to lay boundaries with both parents.
I was thinking the same thing. I am curious as to if Abby behaves that way with Asa at any point? If not, its probably because he is more stern with his disapproval of her actions. Priscilla on the other hand is more soft spoken and nervous when she corrects Abby for being too aggressive. Abby may think that Priscilla is ok with her behavior. I think that Priscilla should practice being more assertive with Abby for instances when Asa isn't around.
in this case no because Abbie(they spelled that way on birthday sign) was seaking attention from Pricilla and do to how Abbie's brain works it would reinforce said behavior. which is what Asa was explaining at end of the video.
My daughter is very aggressive child with autism. when she gets angry over a very small thing as simple as her blocks falling over she literally attacks with all her might. often the only recourse is for the parent not being attacked to step in and remover her from the situation. if the parent who is being attacked tries to calm her down it just makes her worse. it's all what works for your child.
My son is extremely aggresive he has hurt me so bad he caused concussions severe bruising under shoulder blades i am a sing parent he is in residential program now love your blog
You are such a beautiful family. You guys inspire me in so many ways to be a better parent and partner for my husband. Even the story of how you guys met and the trials and hardships your relationship had to go through to get to this point. It gave me hope to stay and fight for my marriage. Thank you for keeping it real and for inspiring people to be better and to do better. ❤
Our ASD level 2 son is needing a lot of hand over hand learning. He gets aggressive with being told no. I'm still learning
I am wondering what happened with Cilla's weight loss journey after her surgery? It is something I think about, but I have alot of fear of it. Is she disappointed that there was not a greater loss? Does she still follow the plan, etc?
How much was regained? In hindsight would she still choose surgery?
Why would you think it's okay to ask her that.
Unfortunately it may not be appropriate to ask.
I believe others might be curious to understand her situation.
Wasn't this her 2nd procedure
My dr has authorized me for the process. It scares me alot. It could be more private way to chat. Was both procedures different?
I'm sure I will get blasted. It's just helpful to hear it from someone with the experience.
Thank you
I wondered the same thing as she formerly said she would document her weight loss journey after having the surgery. I noticed her diet had not changed and her weight came back. I have a few friends that went through the same operation and they all said they had a diet to follow and exercise plan to keep up with the weight coming off. She did a video where she was modeling some work out clothes and then it ended. If you don’t work at it the surgery is useless. I wished she would have kept up with it because she could have been a greatly admired inspiration to many people as there are a lot of people looking to do this surgery. My coworker was at the gym working out and dieting after his surgery and a year later ran the annual Pittsburgh Marathon. It does work if you do the requirements after going through the surgery. She never talks about it when asked. I don’t think it’s wrong to ask her about it, I had a double mastectomy while battling Stage 4 cancer and I’ll answer anyone who has a question and to some women that’s a very private situation. So Suzy Kauffman you are not out of line at all. Women should be able to talk to each other and help one another out.
@@denisehunt9811 oh I’m sure they will be coming at you lol. Get ready, these followers are rough! And as I commented or replied to Suzy, women should be happy to answer questions to help each other out. I wish that she would have followed through with the after surgery regimen and shared her journey with some women that thought about going that route. 💕🙂💕
Cilla is the one who shared about her surgery, shared doctors appointments, shared a couple updates, got the bike, etc. And then nothing. Everyone can see the result or lack of. So why is it wrong to ask about it? Many many many people struggle with weight, diets, surgeries, success, disappointment and failure. Why not share with us? They share everything else. Sorry if I am wrong.
I have dealt with many aggressive behaviors over the years, but never as playful or attention seeking in this way. You handled it quite well
Happy Birthday, Crystal! Love Abby's Cat-In-The-Hat outfit!
I admire you sharing your family's challenges with us. I know you're getting too much advice that you do not need
Sorry to say, that’s what happens when people decide to show every aspect of their life! They are prone to judgement, criticism & advice that’s not wanted!
Watching from Scotland 🏴 big thank you for sharing your videos I've got a 3 yrs old non verbal autistic grandson and watching has helped me so much to help him you guys are just amazing big ♥️ from 🏴♥️🙂
I have a question and I am almost afraid to ask it but, I truly just want to know the answer.......how do you keep from being worried or afraid that she is going to become aggressive? Are there things that happen way before she gets to that point or things you avoid doing that cause her to become like that? (It doesn't appear that she was mad really. She just seemed mischievous and maybe a little rough.)
It had me worried about long time ago that my step dad have gotten aggressive since I was little before I have gotten into the school bus. And some people have gone through and dealt with that too. But aggressive is doing things very very hard.
That’s what I was saying in the vlog. We don’t really deal with much aggression. Most of the time it’s attention seeking. We keep from being worried by focusing on the present. There may come a day where she develops some frustrations and aggression but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.
You could tell she just wanted to wrestle. She needs her big bro 😂 It’s sad that she can’t have it but, she’s just too rough.
@@maryanngeraghty4792 I was thinking that too. She needed some rough play or a heavy sensory stim like a tight hug from mom or dad or just a burrito blanket game. Glad to see she asked for help.
How can Cilla protect herself and can she step back if Abbie starts being grabby and slapping. I think it was def something she was allowed to do with her bro and she’s just craving the silly crazy physical play.
I asked a sincere, very friendly question that was especially sensitive to Pricilla and it was deleted and I can’t understand why. I’ve taught special education my whole life, supported families as they have journeyed the sometimes difficult day and most of all loved the students. Why would my comment be deleted? It would be difficult for you to find a stronger advocate for students and families.
It almost looks like she was laughing at Priscilla not just being goofy.
Just a suggestion...Priscilla, when she is aggressive turn away from her. When she calms down turn back around and give her positive verbal attention, turning away if she starts up again. Repeat if necessary giving her positive attention when she is doing well. It will give her the message that you will not tolerate that behavior. You are doing great guys! 🌿🐝🌿🐝🌿🐝🌿💗
Yes my son's aba tech said to do that too
Mom needs to be able to standing up for self
You always have interesting questions…
What if the socks and shoes squeeze her feet more then usual and it’s a sensory thing 🤔
You both are AMAZING parents. I know it’s not easy. Keep up the amazing progress with Abby! ❤️
Cilla you are so creative! Her costume was great! You nailed it! Happy birthday to Crystal, I love seeing you and your bride on the videos. I’m sorry you as parents have to deal with the aggression. Your very patient with it but I’m sure it hurts your feelings and is hard to deal with emotionally
Weve been dealing with aggression also. I have two boys (almost 9 and almost 8) both non-verbal asd. My eldest son is pinching and hitting. Dad and I both are tore up. I dont know where it comes from. One minute hes loving on us and smiling and happy and the next hes attacking. They both have other medical issues (type 1 diabetes and Jeavons syndrome) so it's a daily struggle for behaviors.
It seems like Abby is more aggressive towards Priscilla.
All kids are more aggressive and push mom’s boundaries more. It’s not an autism thing, it’s a kid thing! 😉 I love the way Asa and Priscilla work as a team. So much love in this wonderful family!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Why does she seem to mostly get aggressive with Priscilla?
The look on Pricilla’s face as she looked at Asa before the biggest grab was like - do you see what she’s doing here? Are you going to stop her? Help me. This isn’t right. But Asa was trying to figure out how the block task worked. That was genuine hurt on Pricilla’s face. Sorry, Pricilla.
I agree; she looked scared and Abbie picked up on that
@@a.j.2245 and for some reason they deleted my comment. My life’s career has been in special education and I would never be unkind. Did you think my comment was rude or inappropriate in any way? Just puzzled.
This is so strange. Now they have deleted my question about why my comment was deleted. And, I explained my point of you and experience so they knew I love and support kids with needs. I don’t think I’ve ever commented before so this is just perplexing me. Oh well, it’s their channel.
I'm not sure what you're seeing on your end Pam but you are replying to your own comment...how would you reply to your comment if it was deleted? I'm confused. Are you talking about another comment? So you know, I haven't deleted any comments today.
I think this requires a deep dive. I was ignoring the behavior. Did you see Abbie look at me as well to see if I would react? She is seeking attention and she doesn't care who it comes from. If she can get me to react to her grabbing her mom then she has reached her goal. My reaction has to override that reinforcement so that's why I sent her away. The response was, if she can't be nice then she can't be around us. Priscilla's face was none of those things. She handles Abigail when she's aggressive when I'm not there just fine. We have to navigate this together so she was looking to me so she could gauge what our reaction was going to be and how we were going to handle it. Of course we are sometimes sad or hurt but most of the time we are analytical. We have a lifetime worth of caregiving to provide for another human and frankly, there's not enough time to be all in our feelings over every little thing. This is a relatively frequent occurrence so we are working on proper response for it so as to not reinforce the behavior. Hopefully that makes sense.
The aggression isn't directed to be mean she just loves her mumma and is getting excited and maybe overstimulated...you're both great parents I love your channel ❤ 💕
I think the aggression behaviors look more like escape function. She has 2:1 attention and she doesn’t want to do the table top activity. Just an aba thought
That was what I was thinking too not attention seeking but a way to get out of something she doesn’t want to do, if you notice when she left it was a sighs of relief
That’s what I saw too. It seemed like she was looking for a way to get out of the activity. It honestly didn’t even look like aggression to me, rather she was just wanting mama to give her some physical attention. ❤️
Absolutely correct her emotion was anxiety , and over sensitized. hence the reason needing to escape
It's a tricky one... P, perhaps if you knew A wanted to play with you, you could correct her behaviour / prompt appropriate way to initiate a play and immediately reinforce it by responding to it/playing. Little things like these pulls could be ignored completely so that you don't draw attention to it (of course only when feel that she is not going to escalate). P, you stayed away from the play while dad was fully involved, which could be also seen as a nonintentional reinforcer ("you pull me = I don't play with you"). I genuinely ignore behaviours like this and try to dissolve by saying to my daughter what she has to do (instead of "don't pinch/don't be agressive, don't scream, etc", I would tell her to keep her to keep her hands to herself, use indoor voice, etc. - positive language). We deal with PDA so if the demand comes from me, behaviour is towards me, I deal with it aiming for it to dissolve. More serious physical/dangerous situations, of course, might need a back up. You also have to consider A sometimes could be aggressive to you to get extra dad attention/time, then dad defending you/dealing with the situation could reinforce it too. Always tricky to judge, I wish it was a strict science!
Abby's costume was so cute! Great video. My grandson is almost 8 and such a sweet boy til he has a meltdown. He will pinch and scratch. You have to hold his hands to keep him from hurting himself or someone else. It amazes me the strength he has when he gets upset.
this may sound like a strange comparison, but abbie taking off her shoes is akin to women removing their bras when they get home!! yes i know she removes them where ever!
Agree with you
Totally agree!!!
So true !!
With those attention seeking behaviors, we finally had to say NOTHING. Any resonse was attention for our girl. For us, we would just go back to task a few times, then have mom get up and then stay out of reach until she says sorry. Just our tricks!
We are trying that as well. The biggest pain is when she's in our space. Literally have to leave my own office while I'm working to avoid reinforcing the behavior! lol, parenting is tough.
@@fatheringautism Parenting all kids is tough. There are challenges we face with our 27 year old daughter who is non verbal and in assisted living qhere she can be closer to good therapists and doctors, but there are big challenges with a 30 year old and our 21 year old. Just different. With Darian, I never had to worry about drug use. Grades and homework. Backtalking, even though I might welcome it at first 😆.
With attention seeking behavior, we have traveled 4 hours, met for dinner and had to leave a restaurant without eating our food. So I understand. (I also had to almost beat up an old lady yelling at our daughter to shut up and "those kind shouldnt be allowed in public places". I almost had to show her some negative behaviors myself. But I wanted to avoid jail. 😆)
Always sending our love your way. Our daughter loves watching Abbie and you would think shes talking to her. We are so lucky to have these girls ❤
Aggressive play should never be taught to people like Abbie hence it is inappropriately to act out and she needs to be taught what’s not okay. Has she ever been aggressive towards your dogs and cat?
Abbie can't wrestle or get in tickle fights because she has autism? She's only allowed to do certain kinds of fun activities because she has a disability? Do you not see how problematic your comment is? Wouldn't it be better to teach her appropriate play? Nobody grabs her like that, hits her, or pinches her so where would she have learned those things? No, she has never been aggressive towards the animals. Based upon your recent comments I think internet should never be taught to people like you.
Someone in the comments section, said your son rough play or wrestles with her. That’s where I got the assumption. There are times you need to walk away ignore her and reinforce the behavior, and teach her it’s inappropriate to grab people.. it’s apparently Cilla did not wanted to be silly with her, Abby didn’t understand the difference why she wasn’t playing with her. Abby doesn’t know the difference when someone does not want to play anymore. It’s unfair when she gets in trouble. When you are posting your kid’s behaviors you will get critiques. My comment isn’t a problematic at all, she’s allowed to be silly and play.
So what happens when she’s aggressive like this? She obviously knows it’s wrong because she knew to stop when told and she grabs Priscilla and turns to look at dad to see what he will do.
When Cilla feels like things have changed to become more aggressive with Abbie, she needs to tell her "Stop! Hands waiting!" " I would never hurt you and I would never let anyone else hurt you! So you are NOT ALLOWED to hurt me or anyone else!" "Now what you're doing is starting to hurt me and that is NOT ALLOWED!"
Every time Abbie starts to hurt Cilla in the least little bit, this should be her mantra! Like everything else, eventually Abbie will learn this to know that mom is there to make sure nobody will hurt her (so mommy will protect her!) And Abbie should not hurt mom.
That only works if Abbie is aware that what she is doing is aggressive/hurtful.
Understanding the reason for her constant removal helps u meet her needs.
Yes!!! Definitely pick ur battles! My kids always tell my challenged girl stop humming or she'll play with her hair and idky it annoys them but she'll stop and 30 seconds later do it again.... Guys she has ticks all day get over it! Whats more annoying than her humming is you screaming constantly! Leave her be! But yes as a mom of 7 dad works 6 days a week and in an ASL interpreter and teacher and I'm currently unemployed. I fortunately can stay home with my little guys. Pick ur battles was learned super quick as the numbers started going up! They've taught me to be more tolerant and patient and lots of things as well not just me teaching them thats for sure!
WHEN ABBY TAKES HER SHOES OFF IN THE CAR THAT'S LIKE ME TAKING SHAVING MY HEAD
I babysit a boy that had special needs. He was most sweet boy. And I really like him and his sister. But he out grew me. I’m only 5 foot tall. His parents was tall. And he got tall too. LOL I was watching him during Sunday school. He was with child his age. But I was with him when he got aggressive towards me. At first he was like you girl. Trying to get attention. Of course I was there. Then all of a sudden he got angry. That was very scary. That was the first time I saw him like that. And he broke my glasses at that time. That was the last time I watched him. He was getting into puberty at that time. I believe the changes in his body helped with his anger and anxiety. I couldn’t watch him anymore. He actually scared me that day. The parents was apologetic at that time. And they understood too. He was getting violent and more aggressive. And it was getting hard to get people to watch him. Years later I heard that the parents got divorced. And the son went to a special home. That can help with his aggression. He had several thing wrong with him. And that didn’t help him at all. I still think a pray for him. But he got a lot worse as he became a teenager.
It feels less different if they're on or off, if the socks are restricting already anyway. There isn't this "FREEDOM!" feeling, so it doesn't matter. When she puts her shoes on to leave, while wearing socks, she doesn't feel this sudden invasive restriction, because she was already wearing the socks, so the urge to take the shoes off falls away.
I always feel so bad for Priscilla. It always seems when Abbie has her aggressive behavior, it's always at Mom. 😒
She’s clearly a brat. Laughing at inflicting pain on her mom. She knows - and they so calmly allow it. They need to put their foot down. Smh
Your amazing sweet lady!!! And Sir, I wish there could be 10 of you around!!! You both ROCK!!❤️
How long was her time out after grabbing Priscilla ?
Honest innocent question, and I am sorry if this has been asked before. Could the aggression be her way of trying to tickle or wrestle with you? I sometimes wonder if she doesn't understand the difference. I just noticed Priscilla went to tickle her and play prior to that behaviour, so I wonder if it is a grey area for her. It then escalates as she is needing to stop but maybe she thinks she is doing what you do to her? What would happen if tickle and wrestle sessions stopped for awhile? Would the aggressive behaviour go away? I was nervous to ask, but I truly have been wondering about this for awhile and thought I would ask.
I’ve noticed in the past videos that Priscilla tease play with Abbie-it is possible that we didn’t see before they recorded this tonight, my guess they were pinching and tickling prior so Abbie then escalated it and doesn’t know when to stop, it is a behavior that needs to be decompress when tease play ends. I too wonder and concern if Abbie wouldn’t know the difference tease play and getting too rough. It’s just not okay for someone like Abbie
Why would you be afraid to ask, if this channel is for learning???
The best thing to do is not take behaviour personal or feel upset us autistics can pick up on vibes and if mum and dad relaxed a little and laughed with abby when she gets happy before she gets aggressive let her release the energy in a healthy way before she gets aggressive as the aggression is her just trying to engage with you other than what you are forcing her to do
Y’all are such awesome parents!!
My sister has an autistic son. What I noticed is that when my twin sister was in any form of judgement, ANY - such as embarrassment, fear, self pity, impatience, worry about being judged, etc. ANY, any such movement within herself in ANY way, it triggered reactive behaviors in her son. He started that pinching or slapping, that " agitated" movement. It was near impossible to attempt to describe that to my sister. You may say it is seeking attention onto the generator, the autistic child, but it is the child reacting to the behavior in the adult. I noticed the mother went into fear and self pity, which was really a state of " I am tired of this," because the self definitions and self interest were of more importance than the other person. And that is probably also part of the inception of the passed down information ( sins of the fathers) causing the static inhibiting focus in the child. This a very difficult thing to look at- and something that causes massive reaction in the adult. Yet, that separation from a loss of real presence into ego and self interest must come to an end if we want to inform the future generations. It is the same with animals. Watch animal whisperer vids. There are people that are masters at calming animals. They become TOTAL presence in the moment. As has been said, real virtue can face anything. Pure waters cannot be poisoned.
The dad never answers my questions, but why do I always see Abbie being aggressive towards mom, never dad? It didn’t seem like anger this time so what does dad do when she’s anger aggression towards mom, cause it doesn’t come across that dad does anything to really stop her from attacking her mom weather is anger aggression or not?? I pray dad nips this in the bud before she seriously hurts her mother..you could see the pain/sadness on the moms face…
I'm sorry Brian but literally none of what you just said is a reality. I'm not sure where you're impression of the situation is coming from.
Omg I dont think Abbie will ever " seriously hurt her mother" . She's the sweetest, she just needs to learn appropriate behaviors to communicate.
Go and watch all the videos for goodness sake. You obviously don't know anything about this family yet
Ummmm I’m not the only one in the comments with concerns so your reply made no sense…why not just answer without being rude? All I was saying that I could see the hurt in your wife’s eyes and it didn’t come across as u doing much to stop Abbie..answer this, does mom correct Abbie when she grabs her like that? Cause it looks like mom was looking for u to correct it? And this is Brian’s wife..
Rude…….
My sister who Has nonverbal autism and is older than me always takes her shoes off too whenever she's sitting down anywhere but the difference is she doesn't know how to put shoes so someone always having to put them back on always Heard a lot of autism people do this but Never understood why
Abby knows what she doing I feel sorry for mom
You both are amazing parents!!👏👏
Uh oh there's that Abbie smile and looking like she's ready to rumble.
I have autism, and I don't have issues with shoes anymore, but I took my shoes off every where I went until I was 9, but I still can only wear thin socks, and I have a meltdown if I wear the thick socks where the inside is like a washrag material. I think they're called tube socks.
Loving the cat in the hat fit!!! Awesome!
Think about all the things the husband would rather be doing right now.
He could be on a boat, he could be relaxing on the beach, he could be welding a car, on a motorcycle with friends, but no- he’s chasing around a snot goblin
You should use the tap thing for attention hand or arm it for sensory it redirect to s more calmer sense so it won't be negative or ruff still getting the positive bc attention she wants
Why force her doing things she doesn’t want to do, I don’t think the buttons on the jacket should been enforced, she obviously had no interest with it! You need to allow her to have a choice what she wants to do and not to be made to do it! It’s clear she was trying hard to communicate that. Abby had no intention of being interested with the jacket.
Wouldn't it be nice if we never had to do anything we didn't want to do? I don't think you read the scenario very well. There was no forcing her. We were giving her tasks to do. If we had her do nothing you'd probably say we neglect her by letting her just sit on the couch and watch RUclips all day.
I am not judging you. I have a brother has Down syndrome and a sister who has autism. If the putting on buttons on a jacket was part of teaching life skill critical in learning, my apologies if it was a silly project, shouldn’t had mattered, when she was moving away behind Cilla, Cilla guide her back into the chair to participate (hey, who puts buttons on denim jacket wasn’t that a 80’s trend), either way If my brother did not wanted to do a silly project we did not make him do it. When you post contents you welcoming to other people‘s criticism
@@daisydoe7727 did you not see her smiling and happy? Clearly she wasn't upset about the task
Although she doesn’t understand it to be able to help it and she loves her mama so much and I’m sure she’s not wanting to hurt Cilla you can still see the hurt in moms face . Mom gets it but as a mom understanding it doesn’t take away from the hurt she will inevitably feel at times. It’s more like a sadness than hurt and perhaps some confusion as it it geared towards Priscilla. I think in some small way Abby senses that dad and brother are bigger and stronger in strength but I could be wrong . Lots of love to
You all and especially mama . Big hugs . Your girl loves you .
Hi there as a professional support worker for adults 18+ with autism, LDs, and other mental health issues like self injury, the resident I support is highly autistic and very similar to abby. Shes a very pretty happy girl and shows no aggression, infact 90% of her emotion on this video were anxiety, I can help you and explain step for step early PREVENTION CALMING POSATIVE behaviour techniques that I am sure certain to work with her. She seems to respond well to touch.
I take my shoes off often and cross my legs similarly to Abby, but I wear flip flops almost year round (it’s Florida!) but when I do wear socks and real shoes, it takes longer and more effort to take them off and put back on so I leave them on. I always have to have my feet up somehow.
It’s funny to me with Abbie and her taking shoes and socks off. I’ve just been diagnosed autistic at 24 (I’m 25 now) but I can’t stand having my shoes and socks off😅
I’m glad it’s always going to be the 3 of you. It was beautiful to see the team work happen.
You guys are great in these situations.
Can Abbie listen to music while doing tasks/chores or does that distract her? Would the type of music make a difference? Ex. Listening to upbeat vs instrumental music
Abbie listens to music sometimes but I don't think music distracts her. It doesn't stop her. The type of music depends whatever people liked the music or not.
Cilla bless her is definitely the soft touch parent, and Asa is the more sturn one, if that's the right word. Hope that doesn't sound disrespectful to Asa, I'm just commenting on this particular vlog, not in a whole genral. But I do think we all have parents like this. You guys do great with Abbie and you both balance each other out. Love your channel. 👍
Man Abbie can get strong. This video was a prime example why people have to pay attention, she wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt mom or be aggressive and she doesn’t know her own strength. This was a good learning video for someone like myself who doesn’t have a special needs child
BS she thought it was hilarious
Love Abby’s outfit! Happy belated birthday Crystal!
Happy Birthday Crystal!!
My son hates wearing socks any kind. Says they are itchy. Getting socks and shoes on isn't a fun task most days.
"Abbie's very antishoe"😂🥰 And yeah I thought the sister was Isaiah at first too" 😂😂
I bet when the camera is not rolling, the patience is 0%, especially with Priscilla.
Ok i don't whant talk for Priscilla but WE CAN see on thé non verbal ,a must Gear when Abby IS a full agitate maybe she dont liké stress,and i know Abby feel that verry weel because she IS non verbal Angel and she feel must beter thé micro expression or stress to a other person ,a she know with her mum.it's mutsh easer to go out if limit,maybe i'm wrong and i'm sorry if IS it ,i Would liké if i'm right or not( and i'm sorry english isn't my first language) a Abby fan To France and i work in a IME ( institutions médicalisé mineurs) for children liké addy
Oh and juste you are amaysing !!!
I always have thought it was crazy that my kids take their shoes and socks off as soon as we are in the car. BUT I recently realized that anytime I’m the passenger on a trip, guess what?! I take my shoes off immediately too 😂
It’s more comfortable! 😂❤️
All of my nieces and nephews took their shoes off too in the car
Hi fathering Autism I love your channel and I love abby but sometimes you have put boundaries In somethings like this:)
Family friends of mine were in St Augustine yesterday and he went to that man store that u were mentioning , been to st Augustine once, css as it wait to go back
not sure if you are still going to see this reaction since this is an older video... but... could the acceptance of shoes with high socks or high socks have something to do with high sock maybe offering a little more presure/squeeze type of stimulation?
The shoe thing is very much sensory. My 5 year old gave me a good old head butt to my face and it set off my depression for several days. Especially because I don't know why she was upset and the head butting was her rejecting my attemp to comfort her.
I love her happy giggles ❤
i feel like she’s clearly overwhelmed. why keep her going when she’s got sensory problems as it is? genuinely curious.
You’re asking the question based on your assumption that she is experiencing sensory overload. Outside of that assumption I can’t really answer the question…does that make sense? Like if A = B then why did you C? However A doesn’t equal B therefore C is a non-issue. She has never experienced any negative sensory input in her home and certainly not enough to constitute being overwhelmed.
This helps me understand why I’ve been acting the way I have been. I’ve been yelling at my family and friends, flaming my online buddies, easily agitated. Alot of this stuff usually happens when our pastor starts yelling as he’s preaching (don’t get me wrong he’s the best spiritual teacher 😊) and the chats going 90 miles per hour and others are calling and texting me all at once, and today we did something completely not on my usual schedule which I think all have attributed to my meltdowns as of late.
I cannot believe that Abby can sit there and let you fix her hair again my daughter she would never no matter how old she hated me to touch her hair. LOL. That’s pretty cool she sits for you like that
She gets so excited. What makes her excited? Just Mom?
My little boy is 4 he is 5 in July .he has just been diagnosed with stage 3 autism I feel devastated I'm I wrong for feeling that way .I love him so much I just want to help him in anyway I can he is constantly head banging I am just lost on were to start .I just feel like I've been left to it since his diagnosis
Absolutely amazing!
Thank You 😊