When she said “I'm not brave enough to be a mother”... hats off to you for being brave enough to say this out loud. & good on you for having the emotional awareness and not just blindly bringing a child into this world, unprepared. 👏👏👏
Megan6772 that broke my heart, because to me it seemed like she might want to have them But didn’t feel like the way her life was could adapt. Obviously having kids is a choice no one can make for someone else. It makes me sad to think that for any reason a person would feel pressured into any choice by a situation that isn’t their fault.
I’m not doing the non stop work thing! I sold my house and bought a tiny home. Got rid of every material thing I didn’t need and work half the time. I spend the rest of my free time enjoying coffee and breathing the fresh air. I stopped competing with the world. Women do not need men to feel loved and worthy! Find it within yourself.
OMG yes!! I have been embracing the minimalist lifestyle for awhile now, letting go of toxic motivations is like releasing an enormous weight you've been dragging around. You feel instantly lighter, and every day becomes a gift to unwrap, instead of something to dread =) 🔆🌙 ⭐
Iron Snowflake absolutely! I also stopped looking for true love. For me, it doesn’t seem possible in the society we live in. I meditate a lot, and practice finding the love within me instead of searching for it in the world.
@@Paarthurnaxdova I think the most neglected relationships we have in life is the ones we have with ourselves...some people scoff & chuckle at this notion, but I *know* this is a great truth in life...know thyself & know serenity 💓✌ Have a beautiful day :)
Celtic Hutcheson but do you have kids? I think the TED speaker is generally referring to working moms. I work too but don’t have kids but I’m nervous to have them bc I have no idea how I’ll have time for them while working.
We took the pay cut, and I became a stay at home mom 9 years ago. Easily one of the best decisions of my life. He is the breadwinner, and I handle all the housework. As a result we BOTH have so much more free time. He thinks he has the better end of the deal, but I know I do. We don't earn as much, but we are both spoiled rotten (lifestyle not material), and happier than we've ever been. I don't miss the consumer life one bit.
As a male I think the whole model has to change. Women can work and be successful. Men can raise children and keep house. It's the respect for reciprocal roles that needs a mindset change not the illusion that turning back the clock will work. And it's a new workplace culture where zombie jobs at half the pay so you need two people working to simply exist finally disappear and one income is enough. For many imprisoned in this half pay twice the jobs so women have equal pay and opportunity culture giving up one job just doesn't pay the basic costs. Jordan Peterson speaks of this feminism time bomb. We've been conned and delude ourselves that we have freedoms. One sad fact is that single parent mothers don't instil values so children go feral but single male fathers do raising well adjusted future adults. It questions the whole parenting system in our modern culture. Of course two parent families generally bring balance. But it's not been analysed in regard to two parent working families how children cope and whether well adjusted children emerge. Another ticking time bomb. Change is needed. However society is addicted to the illusion of success and working to achieve it. The reality is it's a marathon with no winners. Everyone loses as the goal posts move as everyone experiences success and it's diminished so more success is required to maintain the illusion of success. It's akin to a dog chasing its tail. Visually hilarious until you realise that's what our Western world economy depends on.
Not brave enough to be a mother. You are extremely brave for having voiced this. People think women are selfish for not having kids. It's not that the societal expectations are contradictory and toxic, we're just selfish.
SO interesting and true. You only realise why your own Mother was so crazy once you start growing older and gaining the same pressures and worries yourself. Now... I think I may join a yoga class
@acrobatsutr acrobatsutr What historical era are you refering to? In Britain during the early 1800s, and even earlier women were neither allowed to own propety, control their own assets, nor able to sell and buy without their husband's permission. Women worked hard non-stop. Lots of manual work; sewing, farm work, cleaning and perserving food (without fridges and washing machines) and taking care of children (that also began working at a young age). All that was very physically demanding. Yet their work didn't end at sunset. Others worked as servants and teachers. I agree that taking care of children at home is a noble occupation. It seems wonderful to be able to do that, if one's heart calls for it. However I believe the past is far too romantiscized. Women didn't get time to relax as much as we think they did. Unless they were rich. Hopefully there will be some policy changes that makes it easier to spend time with family. Wherever you are. :)
i'm glad to see another woman so genuinely fascinated and awed by the natural occurrences of our own body and our functions. I feel crazy sometimes because of how much the body wows me but i don't feel so crazy anymore seeing others feel the same :)) this entire talk was outstanding.
very interesting. i watched male testosterone documentary. for women, progesterone is blocked by stress (=cortisol) and for men, cortisol blocks testosterone. Effectively meaning for both men and women, it's impossible to feel manly or womanly when overly stressed.
This is not a women vs. men issue, this is not about feminism vs. traditionalism. This is about how our culture of consumerism, hyper-individualism, and false narrative of perpetual economic growth has propelled our entire population into a constant state of anxiety and hedonism. We don't need to try and throw feminism back in women's faces or yell at men about how they don't understand what it's like to be a woman. That's a distraction. We just need to all slow down and live more mindfully.
Wonderful talk, relevant to SO many women around the world. I was coaching a friend recently who wanted to lose weight; and her main issue was her stress, with a demanding full time job, 2 kids,... I told her that the #1 action she had to take wasn't to adjust her diet but to lower her stress levels. You are such an inspiration. Thank you!!
She made a lot of good points about the situation modern women often find themselves in. Her recommendations for deep breathing, healthy eating, and gentle exercise are all good and a nice place to start, but what women really need is a societal shift that reduces women's work hours (in and outside the house) to a sane amount.
What exactly do u mean? Reduce work hours in and out of the house how? Like get payed the same but work less and do less chores but everything still works out?
@@natc1008 You've nailed it. I'm all okay with our dollar suddenly being worth 40% more and corporations simply cutting our hours by 40% so we can all live exactly like we do now without any consequences... but I'm a pessimist.
Frankly, I don't understand why this is so difficult for people. It's the same with men. Do you want to be a successful business person? Do you want to be a parent? Do you want to be present in your childrens' lives? Find a spouse who is willing to do half the work. If you want to be a career woman/man with kids, you need a stay at home counterpart. This is all very simple. I'm probably going to end up with a single dad and work myself to death trying to support children that aren't mine. This would make me very happy. As it turns out, you get tired as you age so make smart decisions that allow you to work less as time goes on.
This video is so important thank you for putting it out there. 5 years ago I had a full time job, which often lead to me working late, coming home, cooking dinner, cleaning up and spending my weekends doing housework and “serving” a toxic relationship. I knew I didn’t want kids with this man because I didn’t have time to do everything! I worked out frantically and drank heavily to try and feel better about myself. I still believe this lead to me getting a serious case of hyperthyroidism where I was in a constant state of anger and panic. Something had to give so I quit my job, worked from home, left my partner and replaced him with my dog. My health improved and I have time to stop and smell the roses. I don’t earn very much but I am happy. It is so important to put ourselves first because no one else is going to for us!
Good for You. It sounds like You "adopted" him and We're raising him. Boys need to grow up! You're better of alone. Still, I wish You to one Day meet a Nice responsable Man to love You and share your life with:)
I'm soooo thankful to my husband for providing for me so I can be a stay-at-home mom. I would rather live in a mobile home and be a stay-at-home mom in a trailer park than to be a career woman with a big house and having to hire someone to take care of my kids.
I feel like we are a very few number ladies, but I also would rather be a 1-income family and raise my daughter with the precious years they are than some daycare caring for my child.
Of course, it is! However, it is a luxury that many women do not have. It requires a single income that can support a household completely and a relationship where death, disease, divorce, disability, desertion or detrimental treatment by the providing partner, are not even remote possibilities.
@@alieninthecaribbean Wrong. Divorce, death, desertion, disability, are always remote possibilities. That's the chance you take when you get married. But most women in American anyway -- will not experience death, disease or disability until they are older and their kids are grown. As for divorce, the overwhelming majority of divorces are initiated by the wife. If you decrease your standard of living you can be a stay-at-home mom. But these career women don't want to do that. Then they complain they have too many responsibilities.🙄
alieninthecaribbean I always see people saying this and I don’t buy it. My husband’s income is quite low and I’m able to stay home. We have 2 cars, no debt and we are not exactly starving. Maybe we don’t have fancy things and do have to endure a bit of judgement from others but I honestly don’t see why more families can’t do what we do except that materialism probably motivates them to a degree.
im a male and i thought this was interesting. another surprise after looking at the comments was how some men are butt hurt over this! its amazing how defensive some of y'all are.
If you can't relate with some of the men sharing these complaints then you obviously dont work 50+ hours a week and share enough of the house work load with your wife.
@@ThisIsMattsLife if both you and your wife are working and your sharing housework I would say that that's fair if you are working and she is not and she does all the housework I would say that is fare but for both people are working and only one of them has to do housework that is not fair if you cant afford for 1 of you to stay-at-home and take care of all the things that home life requires in other words at both of you have to work then you should both help out but I find that overwhelmingly men don't like housework and they don't like child care and most of the men I meant will find reasons to avoid it
@Barbara Ann Yeah, I don't know anyone in relationships like this. Most of my lazy guy friends are all bachelors living in a pad together and the married men are grinding both at work and at home. I don't care how hard any one person works it's still going to take both the man and the woman to take care of a house if they are both working full time. That's a very stressful work load for couples who want to live a healthy lifestyle (clean house, healthy food, well kept yard, repaired house, well raised children). I do have some friends who are married and the wife is unemployed and the husband works, so the wife takes on the lions share of the house work.
it's a shame medical field has been reduced to almost only trauma /emergency. there's so much more to apply these stuff in more laid back way(called preventive measures).
@@LITTLEMUSTANGFILLY I hope so. it is more ecological and cheaper that way. Much less "action film" -like(I guess people also think adrenaline is a measure of prioritizing things, ie. how much pressure it gives, which is wrong way to manage things), but that is life.
Dr Libby... Im a nutrition student and you are one of my biggest inspirations. Just know that your message is spreading and that you truly are making a difference. I love your books and hope to one day see you speak live. Thank you so much for caring and this amazing talk.
I was engaged to a woman that refused to help with cooking or cleaning. It took me two years before I finally burned out. Not sure how anybody does it throughout their adulthood...
@@SpaceTimeMimic Ultimately it's a matter of dividing the combined work load consisting of the work on job and in the home. Traditionally women took care of the home, cleaning, child rearing and making food. Why? Because she didn't work and her man did. It can be fair that the woman in a relationship cooks and cleans if she works part time and her man works 50 hours a week.Subsequently it wouldn't be fair that one partner did all the work at home if both spent equally much time or effort on their respective jobs. The men in relationships to this day spend more hours a week on their work than women do so that factors in to why women still take on more of the work in the home. That isn't to say that there aren't other reasons such as men on average being less willing to cook, clean and do child rearing even when they don't work more than their female partner.
@@tarkamlokar9709 Spot on. In my opinion the talk presented a very superficial analysis on this subject. Men these days probably work more hours than their grandfathers did, if housework is included, and so do women since they're now in the workforce as well. As such, while I think it's wonderful that women are able to pursue careers they're interested in, the reality is that as a consequence we all work and stress more and the pay for individuals is less than it used to be. It's harder to support a family with only one salary now. And for most people work means a job, a necessity, not a career. On the other hand it also sometimes happens that the woman stays at home while her husband works long hours but thanks to all she's been told about equal housework, women's rights and all she still demands the household chores be split in half. And absolutely fails to understand why this is not just. Just a personal anecdote.
@@Mahtijanisthe talk, was a trying to help women to stay healthy: nobody said men could not profit from the idea. Women care for the elders, the children and the men; women wich are married have shorter lives compered to unmarried women....when the spouses work the same hours, the women do all the houshold chores, because they care to much, most divorced or unmarried persons with children to care for, are women, and don't even mention third world countries... where just women are given micro credits to nurture their families...because they care more. Tell me who cared for you, when you where ill, when you where a child:...mother.
I was married to a woman who never repaired the central heating or chopped the wood, never plastered a ceiling or installed additional electric sockets, never made any leadership decisions or carried furniture upstairs . In fact she had not the slightest idea how to do any of these things. She did cook and clean though and I didn't burn out. In fact I rather liked it.
Esharido As a man I have done the same, during a very stressed out and existential crisis phase of my young adulthood. It is a very complex issue why we tend to do this, you have likely faced similar stress doing the same in one of many manners.
It's interesting to me that some men are attracted to come and watch this type of thing and then call out demands for their own needs to be met, with indignation and rage. In opposition to women's absurd needs or wants. I read something on another video written by a man outraged that men's status wasn't getting the same reception. Any feminist worth her salt does recognize that men have their own gender issues in relation to equality and these issues are also necessaryfor change. Why is it necessary to be one or the other? It's both, but it would be ridiculous to ignore the magnitude of women's issues.
+Emily Mervyn Exactly. In any video that talks about women's rights without mentioning men, the first ten comments are almost always along that line. twitter.com/probirdrights/status/368542088897372161
The people in the comments who are twisting this video to promote that women stay at home and depend on men for everything, you realize the speaker herself is a scientific PhD holder, successful academic, and driven career woman, don't you? She's promoting health awareness, prioritization, and sharing housework and childcare responsibilities with men, not women dropping their individuality, independence, and influence. Y'all are just regressive and lazy.
@Jak świat się kręci. Funny how corporate slavery is only mentioned when the conversation is about women's economic independence. No one's out here barking at men saying they should quit their jobs and render themselves housebound instead of being "corporate slaves". Guess it's ok to enslave men then.
I've got your two cookbooks and Rushing Women's Syndrome and I've been digesting your message for several months now and I've made huge changes in my perception / management and creation of stress. Something new "I got" from your talk today is that when we feel we aren't enough, invariably we feel we don't have enough - another lightbulb moment for me. I'd been pursuing dreams / goals relentlessly for the last seven or so years. I'm almost 44 and I'm just letting it go now as I believe I am enough, and I have more than enough. Thanks Libby for caring enough about yourself and others to work out and share this message :)
Amen! In the 15 minutes I listened to this (didn't get to finish) I mostly swept the front porch while my children fought - nails, throwing, hitting, etc - with each other & locked me out of the house to keep me from helping younger brother who was getting the brunt of the fight all after I've already worked 2 jobs today and am trying to tidy the house & make dinner. Carry on, Mamas! One deep breath at a time...
This is very informative. I’m obese because of sadness and stress. I’ve miscarried 5 babies, hence my sadness and stress. (My husband and I have been blessed with a daughter.) This made me gain weight quickly in my 30’s. But now I can’t lose the weight. Diet nor exercise helps. And because I’m obese and over 40, my knees and ankles can’t handle hard exercise. My Progesterone has always been low and my cortisol high. I think this might be my issue. I’m so glad I watched this video.
Wow! This really resonates. What an simple yet amazing message! I had goosebumps coming and going all the way through this TED Talk. Recently I decided to go on a health kick and did 6 intense cardio and boot camp sessions over 2 weeks. Results? Heartburn and gained .5kg. I ignored my body's wisdom to go for yoga because I felt I needed to work 'hard' to shift some weight. I intuitively new that I was going against my own grain - never again! I'm now loooving yoga, getting into deep breathing sessions and enjoying. The excess padding around my middle? Well my body is gently letting go of that : )
I cried the whole conference Dr. Libby, my best mentor! You are the most awesome conscious woman I have heard! I will share to the most people! Love you!
Great talk. You are one of the people you need to take care of. “Where did it enter our psychology that we need to sacrifice our health?” Well...it comes from the heroic story structure. Jesus, Superman, Abraham...you sacrifice yourself or what is the most important to you. And you (allegedly) get the greatest reward.
All i ever see is women falling appart. I was not going to be one of them. I made the same choice. No children. Why does this talk still give me the feeling it's the woman's duty to fix this problem. The workload is just too high. Good nutrition sure fixes a lot. It doesn't add more hours to your day though. Can we stop fighting symptoms of an insane world? In the past, it was not even possible to take work home with you after work. Now it is expected if you want to keep your job. The workplace has invaded so deeply into the personal life, it's madness. It's all blurring into this thick goopy soup of constant stress and this constant crying for attention from the entire world just flooding in. Both partners now need to do a lot more than they normally would have, plus overwork, plus shifts, plus weekends, Plus double shifts, plus children, plus domestic chores, plus social duties, plus elder care, plus neighbor care, plus a skewed workload balance, can you work holidays? plus, plus, plus! I gave society the middle finger, i don't care to be in this rat race. Opting out of motherhood was the best thing i ever did.
Jacquline Ard I think women need to start admitting to themselves that they do not enjoy living life how men have lived it for centuries. And there’s nothing wrong with that. All of the things you are avoiding for work to lessen stress are the average job conditions men work in. I think women are ignoring just how much stress men work in. Men have a higher rate of suicide by a lot. Men have over 90% job related death rate. Modern life is hard for both men and women. I have a daughter. I cannot convey the absolute joy she brings me on a day to day basis. The love I have for my daughter is the deepest love I’ve ever felt. Those two things make all the stress of motherhood seem like it’s nothing. Don’t be so quick to deny yourself that most wondrous of experiences in life.
Thank you, Dr Libby, for your book 'Rushing Woman's Syndrome' and for the TED talk. I feel as if this has answered many questions in my own life as to why I was putting on weight when I eat moderately, am active etc. Have resolved to increase my Pilates from one to two classes a week and breathe from my diaphragm!
Incredible message articulately and powerfully expressed. So much of what Libby says resonates with me - she could have taken the words right out of my mouth, with respect to the 'story' I've written for myself. It's so validating and heartening to hear that other women have similar thoughts and feelings.
When I was a kid I would hear mothers say: "A man may work from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done." And now with every modern convenience we get to do even more!
Its time to question the rapidity of change in our lives and whether that change is worth the negitive consequences of it in us and around us. When life has become to fast to contemplate children and is altering our biochemistry, maybe it is time we reflect on that and start seeking a better path forward.
I enjoyed this! I really want to hear more talks from her. I shared this on my facebook page in hopes to reaching other women. I just recently compromised my health in order do a project for someone else. I kept it up knowing I was pushing myself, but wouldn't be able to keep up like that. I am glad it's over, and now I'm thinking how foolish that was for a lousy thank you. I'm sorry, but when people are benefiting from your health risks, thank you just doesn't compensate. That makes me think of what are the reasons behind such sacrafice? Is it to be liked? well you might resent yourself. I thank God for his mercy and grace for all of us.
I bought Dr Libby's book after reading John Gabriel 2 years ago. To me it seemed they were on the same page and I loved that. I have struggled all my life and feel although I know the truth it is very hard to apply it, had I not been vigilant all my life I would have suffered many worse consequences. I still continue to struggle daily. This is a fabulous lecture however one still has to take up the reigns of control alone. I hope the following generation has more help than mine has.
I am such a fan of Dr. Libby Weaver's work and I am so lucky I will be hearing her again this summer at the USANA Health Sciences International Convention in Salt Lake City.
I cant imagine being a mother while still do my mission in this world ( ie. job , carreer ) @ 15:30. So this smart woman has admitted its often a choice between a family and kids or a career. Damn that sucks
Haha, not exactly :) She admitted that it is not fair that in partnerships with both working parents that the woman also still does the majority of the housework alone (unpaid work). So don't be a father if you can't imagine finding time for your mission in this world :)
nuagebleu88 Majority of mothers in a two income family work less hours than men. So the women do most the dishes and laundry. Big whoop. However, men should be more involved in the parenting department.
I've been a stay at home, a part time and a full time worker. I come home everyday feeling stressed about what to make for my family trying to get my family to help me keep our home nice so we have clean dishes to eat and clothes to wear. Its not easy when society is telling us we can be super woman and mom. we can NOT without a society that is supportive.
I agree, and thank you for getting it. A lot of fathers suffer too, not bejng able to see your kids because of breadwinning sucks too... but sadly, that blinds many men of the reality thier partners go through as mentioned above... saying one doesnt cancel or ignore the other.
It's the same for men as well. Men and women both work too much and are unable to sleep, eat and love well enough to live happily or healthily.... Its the price of "progress" I guess.
@A lone Cockroach Ok... Except the U.S. has a lower healthy life expectancy than any of the countries ranked with a higher rank on the world happiness report. And we also have fairly high rates of suicide, and significantly higher rates of general murders (especially related to domestic assault and vulnerable populations).
Omg, I've just been thinking this exact thing. Women let go of their self-love a little to be there for others and because of trauma but it's been a hard road and hopefully now we can rebalance and re-establish those right boundaries to make sure our health and happiness come first so we can give from a place of abundance again. What a beautiful talk!
My wife insisted we follow her opportunities. Like, shouting argument insisted. Now, six years later, she is having panic attacks and trying every medication under the sun. She is super stressed and worn out and I feel for her deeply. I recently, tactfully suggested that we should have followed my opportunities, and she agreed.
I'm reviewing her latest book "Accidentally Overweight" which lead me to this Ted Talk. Her message for many, is a concerned eye opener. Optimal wellness is so important.
So grateful for the message you are sending Dr Libby, I just hope the 'rushing women' out there find 18 minutes to sit down and listen. You're amazing.. Love your work!
That was a beautiful explanation of the modern woman's life! I love the science behind it and the incredible emotion and passion in the talk. It really is a new challenge for us, personally I believe mindfulness really is the antidote to stress. Thank you Dr Libby for bringing it so poetically into the limelight!
Couldn't stop nodding in agreement throughout your entire talk, so close to home for so many of us out there, brought tears to my eyes at the end thinking about that little girl haveing a twirly dance without a care in the world - time to go put on a dress and be that girl again. Thank you
Thank you Dr Libby for bringing up the importance of how precious we are and connecting with our breath. I was fortunate enough to experience that abundantly in my first Art of Living Happiness Program when i was studying in University in India (IIT Mumbai). It enriched my life to see the beauty and wonder around and to be useful to others. I see you are doing that so effectively. Thank you again.
Woman gives a TEDx Talk about how working women can manage their stress better and find a healthier balance. She does not blame men. She does not even mention men at all, as antagonists of any kind. It was purely a woman to woman talk on wellbeing. Yet men feel attacked in the comments. Or are seeing this as some sign of weakness that women cannot work outside the home and should stay at home under the control of a man, with no financial or social resources of her own in the very likely event of death, disease, disability, divorce, desertion or detrimental treatment by the single providing partner, which is the most vulnerable and dangerous position for a woman to be in, especially if there are children too. Women TALK ABOUT THEIR STRESSES and are open about their vulnerabilities and try to address them. Is that a sign of weakness or of strength? Who commits more violence (including suicide) due to life stresses? Women or men? So rather than denounce her talk, ask why there aren't more men speaking to their fellow brothers about how to manage their life/work stresses and find a healthier balance as men. Light a candle rather than try to dim the light other people are trying to shine. If a man were speaking to his brothers about the stresses they face and how to better manage it, I would applaud it.
Thank you for sharing such powerful information. You really opened my mind to think about what I have experienced and had not put words to before. Thank you for sharing so thoughtfully and passionately!
Unfortunately, i have lived this experience and have burnt out more than once. It takes a long time to come back from. I feel better now mentally, but i need to address the physical aspects. Her talk made me understand some of the problems I'm having a bit better. Everyone, please slow down as much as you are able to!
Yet another amazing and insightful, impassioned and pertinent talk Dr Libby. I love what you do and all that you teach. It brought me to my heart centre to hear you doubting your own bravery... even the superwomen of this world have fears. Thank you for sharing. I send you love.
You share your wisdom with love, thank you. You take the biochemistry workings of the body and put it into simple language that everyone can understand and that's what makes the difference - understanding how the body works leads one to make the right choices ... ripple on, ripple effect.
Wow Dr Libby - what an awesome message that resonates with me. I am sure it resonates with others as well. Thank you so much for putting so much into just 18 minutes.
I didn't think I'd recognize myself in this, but then at the end, that feeling came back as she was talking..... You know, that feeling of never being good enough, there's no point in even trying because you'll never be good enough. No matter what you do, you're doing less than others.... But are you though? Or are you burnt out from doing too much? That feeling of hopelessness is the root of my depression, and it's crippling .
She is good! Thinking about mental health and the human need to put our own breath first works for me. I am disabled for mental illness that is not my fault. I put my mental health first and sometimes, rarely, am guilted for it. Everyone should have this liberty!
Love the message, Dr Libby is spot on. And it's possible to make even small changes that she advocates that can make a huge change in your life. I know!
What a wonderful observation. This is exactly why I decide not to make my own family and simply pursue a career. Thank you so much for this, Dr Weaver!
That’s interesting. Because my take from this talk was that careers and working long hours is what is harming women. That women should slow down(work less) so you can have children (not ruin your fertility). As a mother of one, when you love your child, it is the deepest truest love on this planet. It’s incredible. It leaves me in awe all the time. And when that child loves you back. It’s too incredible for words. I seriously think having children and loving them is the best thing in life and is the answer. But this is just my opinion and life experience.
YOU ROCK DR LIBBY! You give me so much inspiration to continue with my work helping people heal, nurture and understand themselves. Everything you talk about so passionately, so clearly, is exactly what I see in the world around meand in my clients . Thank you for being a bright light to help lead the way forward :-)
What a beautiful talk. Makes so much sense. I've always pondered over these issues and wondered how is it that women, being biologicaly wired so differently than men are expected to carry out the same roles as men along with domestic ones, while excelling at all. It seems humanly impossible. It's such an important lesson she gives to us womenfolk. Don't try to please evryone and do evrything. Take care of yourself first. Make career and family/personal choices according to your priorities and abilities.
Thank YOU so VERU MUCH. I have collected all the pieces over the years, looked at them, tried them separately. Not until now have I heard the pieces put together and connect all the components So very relevant. I hope that with this new take on it, I will be able to improve my personal state of being. You have a grateful friend in ST John USVI
it is so great to hear someone who's talking Body Mind and Spirit and helping me understand more about my life. I also love that dr. Libby Weaver belongs to USANA Health Sciences and uses these very fine products as I do.
the thing is most men were raised by housewives and when they saw their mom they got used to the woman doing the housework and when they saw their dad they got used to the man not doing the house work (cause they did a job) and the girls grew up observing exactly the same thing so of course its hard to unlearn that for both, with the guys being reluctant to do more in the house as it doesn't come naturally to them and girls taking on more than they need to cope with because they feel like theres no other choice honestly i think the modern corporate world is complete madness, i grew up in circumstances where both of my parents were always taken away from me because of work pressure or they would just fight with each other over bills and chores - as the woman said there was no child in the mix but when there is a child they often end up feeling abandoned or have to be raised by caretakers or boarding schools or soak up all the physical/verbal violence of the parents towards each or the kid and that aint cute this is why at least from my personal experience what i believe is that one partner should be the breadwinner and the other the home carer (regardless of gender - in fact house husband and working wife should be just as normalised as the other way around) in this scenario both should have equal respect for the importance of the other's role and not see it as less than what they are doing it means that there is always a clear understanding of what is whos responsibility and no one is going crazy doing more than their fair share and so im expecting there should be far fewer fights and really if we cut down our expenses and stop buying unaffordable materialistic things that dont even make us happy from inside, if we can live in smaller spaces - a life of quality instead of quantity then we don't need 2 wages and overall it is better for the environment too just like in games all carries need a good support, one should be the carry of the household and other the support im going to experiment with this lifestyle with my partner and lets see if my expectations become true
Michelle Novalee depends on many factors like where you live and how much your partner earns, but i think depends most on how much you think you need to spend to live a full filling life if you can avoid spending on stuff you don't really need and just save it for the few things that make you super happy along with your survival needs then it should work i mean a lot of households do function fine with just one wage, they just have a more "humble" lifestyle the problem comes when you need the latest car, the biggest house, the most expensive phone - then you end up stacking up a lot of debt and have no option but to earn for it I mean if you are a paper chaser and rich things make you who you are then go for it (just don't have a child if you plan on having them in childcare the whole time in this case) but if thats not you then that's totally fine too to live a simple easy life
Can you elaborate? This woman is an emotional basket case, that by her own admission, took 14 years to complete a PhD in biochemistry 14 !!!!!! And she doesn't have children. I love women for giving us life!! but thank you men, who got their PhD in 7 years, got a job produce, and built a world in which a woman, intelligent or not. Can go out and spend 14 of their moust fertile years of her life, on a PhD. Than go on a Tedx talk, and complain about the amoud of emails she has after a vacation 🤣🤣🤣✌🤠
Elpidio Valdez Not only that, this woman missed the mark completely. Her claim is that we are stuck with the way things are, there’s no going back! We all have to have jerbs outside the home and let some daycare raise our kids! Instead of saying “if it’s stressing you out, don’t try to do it all” she says do a diaphragmatic breath!🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@ricoletocubano mate she worked while getting her PhD. I work full time for an engineering firm to get my engineering masters its going to take 6 years at two classes a semester. Then im getting my PhD afterward. Going to be 15 years total in college. If you can complete your PhD in 7 years you have an incredibly privileged life and probably have no real world experience or work experience in any meaningful field outside of McDonalds.
Interesting. When a doctor prescribed progesterone for me, it caused horrific and fast weight gain, deep depression and anxiety, and several other terrible problems. After firing him, I've since had about 8 other doctors wonder WTAF that first doctor was thinking! For me at least, progesterone was the worst thing for me.
I am pro modern independent woman but I honestly think someone should stay home in the house, just not necessarily the woman. Staying home allows you to make a cozy nest, make sure your family’s getting healthy meals, and spend quality time with kids. I think that you can have a side hustle at home or remote work. But men and women should take turns. Like my mans a software engineer and I work with NGOs. I like the toddler age and he likes the elementary age. We are both working hard now. When we have kids I’ll probably stay at home first and then he will stay at home or work part time after. Once they are in middle school or high school we can both work:).
My take on this issue...We don't have to live like this. Scale it down people! Relax, ask for help, do less, create a community and help eachother out, live life and have fun. I have a big family and i have a man who also comes home and works at home, fixing things, picking up, childcare, help with homework, cooking. We BOTH do it all! But we also dont care if our house is perfect, if we are "keeping up with the joneses" or anyone else for that matter. And the kids can help too! Dont shy away from chores and teaching kids responsibility. Create a community with neighbors, friends and family and exchange help/work. If you dont think there are enough hours in the day its because, yes, you're taking on too much, but also you're not slowing down and taking it one hour at a time (or even one moment at a time) ,one task at a time. Give yourself permission to say no. Love and care for yourselves and appreciate the man ( and/ or other loved ones ) who help you out. The babies are both parents responsibility (and the bills) and some people divide the two which is great if that works for them. The home is the responsability of ALL who live there. (Even 2 year olds can pick up thier toys and bring their dish to the sink..everyone can pitch in). Life is meant to be fun and joyful! If something isnt working for you, change it! Its all within your power!
When she said “I'm not brave enough to be a mother”... hats off to you for being brave enough to say this out loud. & good on you for having the emotional awareness and not just blindly bringing a child into this world, unprepared. 👏👏👏
Megan6772 that broke my heart, because to me it seemed like she might want to have them
But didn’t feel like the way her life was could adapt.
Obviously having kids is a choice no one can make for someone else. It makes me sad to think that for any reason a person would feel pressured into any choice by a situation that isn’t their fault.
I’m not doing the non stop work thing! I sold my house and bought a tiny home. Got rid of every material thing I didn’t need and work half the time. I spend the rest of my free time enjoying coffee and breathing the fresh air. I stopped competing with the world. Women do not need men to feel loved and worthy! Find it within yourself.
OMG yes!! I have been embracing the minimalist lifestyle for awhile now, letting go of toxic motivations is like releasing an enormous weight you've been dragging around. You feel instantly lighter, and every day becomes a gift to unwrap, instead of something to dread =) 🔆🌙 ⭐
Iron Snowflake absolutely! I also stopped looking for true love. For me, it doesn’t seem possible in the society we live in. I meditate a lot, and practice finding the love within me instead of searching for it in the world.
@@Paarthurnaxdova I think the most neglected relationships we have in life is the ones we have with ourselves...some people scoff & chuckle at this notion, but I *know* this is a great truth in life...know thyself & know serenity 💓✌
Have a beautiful day :)
Celtic Hutcheson the only true love is the one we can have for ourselves ❤️
Celtic Hutcheson but do you have kids? I think the TED speaker is generally referring to working moms. I work too but don’t have kids but I’m nervous to have them bc I have no idea how I’ll have time for them while working.
We took the pay cut, and I became a stay at home mom 9 years ago. Easily one of the best decisions of my life. He is the breadwinner, and I handle all the housework. As a result we BOTH have so much more free time. He thinks he has the better end of the deal, but I know I do. We don't earn as much, but we are both spoiled rotten (lifestyle not material), and happier than we've ever been. I don't miss the consumer life one bit.
What a smart decision you made!
Taking the “pay cut” has been so worth it for us too. Congratulations.
In what ways do you spoil yourself with your liifestyle asking for a friend 😁
What a sexist.
As a male I think the whole model has to change. Women can work and be successful. Men can raise children and keep house. It's the respect for reciprocal roles that needs a mindset change not the illusion that turning back the clock will work. And it's a new workplace culture where zombie jobs at half the pay so you need two people working to simply exist finally disappear and one income is enough.
For many imprisoned in this half pay twice the jobs so women have equal pay and opportunity culture giving up one job just doesn't pay the basic costs. Jordan Peterson speaks of this feminism time bomb. We've been conned and delude ourselves that we have freedoms.
One sad fact is that single parent mothers don't instil values so children go feral but single male fathers do raising well adjusted future adults. It questions the whole parenting system in our modern culture. Of course two parent families generally bring balance. But it's not been analysed in regard to two parent working families how children cope and whether well adjusted children emerge. Another ticking time bomb.
Change is needed. However society is addicted to the illusion of success and working to achieve it. The reality is it's a marathon with no winners. Everyone loses as the goal posts move as everyone experiences success and it's diminished so more success is required to maintain the illusion of success. It's akin to a dog chasing its tail. Visually hilarious until you realise that's what our Western world economy depends on.
Not brave enough to be a mother. You are extremely brave for having voiced this. People think women are selfish for not having kids. It's not that the societal expectations are contradictory and toxic, we're just selfish.
StaringCompetition this is why I don’t have kids
@@patriciacorrea8871 same
This made me cry my eyes out, because I deeply identify with the issues she presented. Thank you for the thoughtful talk, Libby.
Me too!! I was not expecting to relate to so much of what she said.
SO interesting and true. You only realise why your own Mother was so crazy once you start growing older and gaining the same pressures and worries yourself. Now... I think I may join a yoga class
Xaris Xeros
We wanted the rights to be treated like people instead of possessions.
@acrobatsutr acrobatsutr What historical era are you refering to? In Britain during the early 1800s, and even earlier women were neither allowed to own propety, control their own assets, nor able to sell and buy without their husband's permission. Women worked hard non-stop. Lots of manual work; sewing, farm work, cleaning and perserving food (without fridges and washing machines) and taking care of children (that also began working at a young age). All that was very physically demanding. Yet their work didn't end at sunset. Others worked as servants and teachers. I agree that taking care of children at home is a noble occupation. It seems wonderful to be able to do that, if one's heart calls for it. However I believe the past is far too romantiscized. Women didn't get time to relax as much as we think they did. Unless they were rich.
Hopefully there will be some policy changes that makes it easier to spend time with family. Wherever you are. :)
i'm glad to see another woman so genuinely fascinated and awed by the natural occurrences of our own body and our functions. I feel crazy sometimes because of how much the body wows me but i don't feel so crazy anymore seeing others feel the same :)) this entire talk was outstanding.
very interesting. i watched male testosterone documentary. for women, progesterone is blocked by stress (=cortisol) and for men, cortisol blocks testosterone. Effectively meaning for both men and women, it's impossible to feel manly or womanly when overly stressed.
Probably a huge contributor to the dead bedroom phenomenon
@Isabel Welsh Yes. But this helps. And in case they want children, hormones are needed.
@effexon which documentary did you watch? I'm interested in checking it out.
This is one of the the most pseudoscience comments I've ever seen on youtube, yet delivered with so much authority and confidence lol
@@user-qb3tk8rs8t I know right?
Almost brought tears to my eyes that Dr. Libby validated what many women have been feeling for years. Very powerful message!
This is not a women vs. men issue, this is not about feminism vs. traditionalism. This is about how our culture of consumerism, hyper-individualism, and false narrative of perpetual economic growth has propelled our entire population into a constant state of anxiety and hedonism. We don't need to try and throw feminism back in women's faces or yell at men about how they don't understand what it's like to be a woman. That's a distraction. We just need to all slow down and live more mindfully.
100% agree with you. Thank you.
Bingo!!!!!
Wonderful talk, relevant to SO many women around the world. I was coaching a friend recently who wanted to lose weight; and her main issue was her stress, with a demanding full time job, 2 kids,... I told her that the #1 action she had to take wasn't to adjust her diet but to lower her stress levels. You are such an inspiration. Thank you!!
She made a lot of good points about the situation modern women often find themselves in. Her recommendations for deep breathing, healthy eating, and gentle exercise are all good and a nice place to start, but what women really need is a societal shift that reduces women's work hours (in and outside the house) to a sane amount.
What exactly do u mean? Reduce work hours in and out of the house how? Like get payed the same but work less and do less chores but everything still works out?
@@natc1008 You've nailed it. I'm all okay with our dollar suddenly being worth 40% more and corporations simply cutting our hours by 40% so we can all live exactly like we do now without any consequences... but I'm a pessimist.
Frankly, I don't understand why this is so difficult for people. It's the same with men.
Do you want to be a successful business person?
Do you want to be a parent?
Do you want to be present in your childrens' lives?
Find a spouse who is willing to do half the work.
If you want to be a career woman/man with kids, you need a stay at home counterpart.
This is all very simple.
I'm probably going to end up with a single dad and work myself to death trying to support children that aren't mine. This would make me very happy.
As it turns out, you get tired as you age so make smart decisions that allow you to work less as time goes on.
THANK YOU! Finally someone says what Ive been thinking all the time she was talking...
This video is so important thank you for putting it out there. 5 years ago I had a full time job, which often lead to me working late, coming home, cooking dinner, cleaning up and spending my weekends doing housework and “serving” a toxic relationship. I knew I didn’t want kids with this man because I didn’t have time to do everything! I worked out frantically and drank heavily to try and feel better about myself. I still believe this lead to me getting a serious case of hyperthyroidism where I was in a constant state of anger and panic. Something had to give so I quit my job, worked from home, left my partner and replaced him with my dog. My health improved and I have time to stop and smell the roses. I don’t earn very much but I am happy. It is so important to put ourselves first because no one else is going to for us!
Good for You. It sounds like You "adopted" him and We're raising him. Boys need to grow up! You're better of alone. Still, I wish You to one Day meet a Nice responsable Man to love You and share your life with:)
It’s ok to be a stay at home mom.
I'm soooo thankful to my husband for providing for me so I can be a stay-at-home mom. I would rather live in a mobile home and be a stay-at-home mom in a trailer park than to be a career woman with a big house and having to hire someone to take care of my kids.
I feel like we are a very few number ladies, but I also would rather be a 1-income family and raise my daughter with the precious years they are than some daycare caring for my child.
Of course, it is! However, it is a luxury that many women do not have. It requires a single income that can support a household completely and a relationship where death, disease, divorce, disability, desertion or detrimental treatment by the providing partner, are not even remote possibilities.
@@alieninthecaribbean Wrong. Divorce, death, desertion, disability, are always remote possibilities. That's the chance you take when you get married. But most women in American anyway -- will not experience death, disease or disability until they are older and their kids are grown. As for divorce, the overwhelming majority of divorces are initiated by the wife. If you decrease your standard of living you can be a stay-at-home mom. But these career women don't want to do that. Then they complain they have too many responsibilities.🙄
alieninthecaribbean I always see people saying this and I don’t buy it. My husband’s income is quite low and I’m able to stay home. We have 2 cars, no debt and we are not exactly starving. Maybe we don’t have fancy things and do have to endure a bit of judgement from others but I honestly don’t see why more families can’t do what we do except that materialism probably motivates them to a degree.
im a male and i thought this was interesting. another surprise after looking at the comments was how some men are butt hurt over this! its amazing how defensive some of y'all are.
Have a cookie.
You don't get it. Not at all.
Your a blue pill white knight.
Need to grow up.
If you can't relate with some of the men sharing these complaints then you obviously dont work 50+ hours a week and share enough of the house work load with your wife.
@@ThisIsMattsLife if both you and your wife are working and your sharing housework I would say that that's fair if you are working and she is not and she does all the housework I would say that is fare but for both people are working and only one of them has to do housework that is not fair if you cant afford for 1 of you to stay-at-home and take care of all the things that home life requires in other words at both of you have to work then you should both help out but I find that overwhelmingly men don't like housework and they don't like child care and most of the men I meant will find reasons to avoid it
@Barbara Ann Yeah, I don't know anyone in relationships like this. Most of my lazy guy friends are all bachelors living in a pad together and the married men are grinding both at work and at home. I don't care how hard any one person works it's still going to take both the man and the woman to take care of a house if they are both working full time. That's a very stressful work load for couples who want to live a healthy lifestyle (clean house, healthy food, well kept yard, repaired house, well raised children). I do have some friends who are married and the wife is unemployed and the husband works, so the wife takes on the lions share of the house work.
I took my own advice and retired early. I’m a housewife and I love it ❤️❤️❤️
Must be nice to have that option.
I am not in the Medical Field anymore and everything else seems so laid back. As long as it is not life or death, things can get done whenever.
it's a shame medical field has been reduced to almost only trauma /emergency. there's so much more to apply these stuff in more laid back way(called preventive measures).
@@effexon it is a shame but I think it will change.
@@LITTLEMUSTANGFILLY I hope so. it is more ecological and cheaper that way. Much less "action film" -like(I guess people also think adrenaline is a measure of prioritizing things, ie. how much pressure it gives, which is wrong way to manage things), but that is life.
I quit too!! I’m a paralegal now at a chill office!! The medical field burned me out in 14 years!!!❤️
@@effexon its so disappointing how little knowledge/care people have for their health. Mostly due to lack of efforts toward awareness/education
Dr Libby... Im a nutrition student and you are one of my biggest inspirations. Just know that your message is spreading and that you truly are making a difference. I love your books and hope to one day see you speak live. Thank you so much for caring and this amazing talk.
I was engaged to a woman that refused to help with cooking or cleaning. It took me two years before I finally burned out. Not sure how anybody does it throughout their adulthood...
No choise would be the answer
@@SpaceTimeMimic Ultimately it's a matter of dividing the combined work load consisting of the work on job and in the home. Traditionally women took care of the home, cleaning, child rearing and making food. Why? Because she didn't work and her man did. It can be fair that the woman in a relationship cooks and cleans if she works part time and her man works 50 hours a week.Subsequently it wouldn't be fair that one partner did all the work at home if both spent equally much time or effort on their respective jobs.
The men in relationships to this day spend more hours a week on their work than women do so that factors in to why women still take on more of the work in the home. That isn't to say that there aren't other reasons such as men on average being less willing to cook, clean and do child rearing even when they don't work more than their female partner.
@@tarkamlokar9709 Spot on. In my opinion the talk presented a very superficial analysis on this subject. Men these days probably work more hours than their grandfathers did, if housework is included, and so do women since they're now in the workforce as well.
As such, while I think it's wonderful that women are able to pursue careers they're interested in, the reality is that as a consequence we all work and stress more and the pay for individuals is less than it used to be. It's harder to support a family with only one salary now. And for most people work means a job, a necessity, not a career.
On the other hand it also sometimes happens that the woman stays at home while her husband works long hours but thanks to all she's been told about equal housework, women's rights and all she still demands the household chores be split in half. And absolutely fails to understand why this is not just.
Just a personal anecdote.
@@Mahtijanisthe talk, was a trying to help women to stay healthy: nobody said men could not profit from the idea. Women care for the elders, the children and the men; women wich are married have shorter lives compered to unmarried women....when the spouses work the same hours, the women do all the houshold chores, because they care to much, most divorced or unmarried persons with children to care for, are women, and don't even mention third world countries... where just women are given micro credits to nurture their families...because they care more. Tell me who cared for you, when you where ill, when you where a child:...mother.
I was married to a woman who never repaired the central heating or chopped the wood, never plastered a ceiling or installed additional electric sockets, never made any leadership decisions or carried furniture upstairs . In fact she had not the slightest idea how to do any of these things. She did cook and clean though and I didn't burn out. In fact I rather liked it.
Diaphragm breathing directly proportional to Good health-A beautiful take on nutrition and better living.Thankyou
I just recently compromised my own health for the sake of always pleasing everyone else. Great talk, I'm listening!
but why?
Esharido As a man I have done the same, during a very stressed out and existential crisis phase of my young adulthood. It is a very complex issue why we tend to do this, you have likely faced similar stress doing the same in one of many manners.
Hi Pelpina!
Doormat syndrome.
Always make sure you are #1. Make yourself whole so you can help others whole. Doesn't work the other way around. Can't give what you don't have.
She looks like a good witch
Hahahaha, strangely accurate
yesss
Barbra Nowa
I can’t tell if this is a compliment or an insult:)
Words can’t express how amazing your talk was. Thank you 50 trillion times 😊❤️
It's interesting to me that some men are attracted to come and watch this type of thing and then call out demands for their own needs to be met, with indignation and rage. In opposition to women's absurd needs or wants. I read something on another video written by a man outraged that men's status wasn't getting the same reception. Any feminist worth her salt does recognize that men have their own gender issues in relation to equality and these issues are also necessaryfor change. Why is it necessary to be one or the other? It's both, but it would be ridiculous to ignore the magnitude of women's issues.
+Emily Mervyn Exactly. In any video that talks about women's rights without mentioning men, the first ten comments are almost always along that line.
twitter.com/probirdrights/status/368542088897372161
Thank you for commenting that! Finally someone is voicing that opinion too! 😊
The people in the comments who are twisting this video to promote that women stay at home and depend on men for everything, you realize the speaker herself is a scientific PhD holder, successful academic, and driven career woman, don't you?
She's promoting health awareness, prioritization, and sharing housework and childcare responsibilities with men, not women dropping their individuality, independence, and influence.
Y'all are just regressive and lazy.
@Jak świat się kręci. Funny how corporate slavery is only mentioned when the conversation is about women's economic independence. No one's out here barking at men saying they should quit their jobs and render themselves housebound instead of being "corporate slaves". Guess it's ok to enslave men then.
I've got your two cookbooks and Rushing Women's Syndrome and I've been digesting your message for several months now and I've made huge changes in my perception / management and creation of stress. Something new "I got" from your talk today is that when we feel we aren't enough, invariably we feel we don't have enough - another lightbulb moment for me. I'd been pursuing dreams / goals relentlessly for the last seven or so years. I'm almost 44 and I'm just letting it go now as I believe I am enough, and I have more than enough. Thanks Libby for caring enough about yourself and others to work out and share this message :)
its not about being men, its about being the most empowered woman you can be. love you Dr Libby Weaver, you are an inspiration, truly!
Amen! In the 15 minutes I listened to this (didn't get to finish) I mostly swept the front porch while my children fought - nails, throwing, hitting, etc - with each other & locked me out of the house to keep me from helping younger brother who was getting the brunt of the fight all after I've already worked 2 jobs today and am trying to tidy the house & make dinner. Carry on, Mamas! One deep breath at a time...
This is very informative. I’m obese because of sadness and stress. I’ve miscarried 5 babies, hence my sadness and stress. (My husband and I have been blessed with a daughter.) This made me gain weight quickly in my 30’s. But now I can’t lose the weight. Diet nor exercise helps. And because I’m obese and over 40, my knees and ankles can’t handle hard exercise. My Progesterone has always been low and my cortisol high. I think this might be my issue. I’m so glad I watched this video.
Excellent talk on what is driving women today and the importance of choosing health for ourselves and all those we love and care about! Thank you!
Wow! This really resonates. What an simple yet amazing message! I had goosebumps coming and going all the way through this TED Talk. Recently I decided to go on a health kick and did 6 intense cardio and boot camp sessions over 2 weeks. Results? Heartburn and gained .5kg. I ignored my body's wisdom to go for yoga because I felt I needed to work 'hard' to shift some weight. I intuitively new that I was going against my own grain - never again! I'm now loooving yoga, getting into deep breathing sessions and enjoying. The excess padding around my middle? Well my body is gently letting go of that : )
I cried the whole conference Dr. Libby, my best mentor! You are the most awesome conscious woman I have heard! I will share to the most people! Love you!
The cause of all this is really simple. Over inflated cost of housing
Inflated cost of housing is depended of other things...
No just that. I would say the cause is our relentless consumption growth and fighting our basic biology.
Great talk.
You are one of the people you need to take care of.
“Where did it enter our psychology that we need to sacrifice our health?”
Well...it comes from the heroic story structure. Jesus, Superman, Abraham...you sacrifice yourself or what is the most important to you. And you (allegedly) get the greatest reward.
All i ever see is women falling appart. I was not going to be one of them. I made the same choice. No children. Why does this talk still give me the feeling it's the woman's duty to fix this problem. The workload is just too high. Good nutrition sure fixes a lot. It doesn't add more hours to your day though. Can we stop fighting symptoms of an insane world? In the past, it was not even possible to take work home with you after work. Now it is expected if you want to keep your job. The workplace has invaded so deeply into the personal life, it's madness. It's all blurring into this thick goopy soup of constant stress and this constant crying for attention from the entire world just flooding in. Both partners now need to do a lot more than they normally would have, plus overwork, plus shifts, plus weekends, Plus double shifts, plus children, plus domestic chores, plus social duties, plus elder care, plus neighbor care, plus a skewed workload balance, can you work holidays? plus, plus, plus! I gave society the middle finger, i don't care to be in this rat race. Opting out of motherhood was the best thing i ever did.
melovescoffee
same. not having kids and generally being a recluse has saved stopped so many problems before they could start
100% agree with you.
positive ninja
That sounds bad. That is not a better state of being.
Jacquline Ard
I think women need to start admitting to themselves that they do not enjoy living life how men have lived it for centuries. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
All of the things you are avoiding for work to lessen stress are the average job conditions men work in. I think women are ignoring just how much stress men work in. Men have a higher rate of suicide by a lot. Men have over 90% job related death rate. Modern life is hard for both men and women.
I have a daughter. I cannot convey the absolute joy she brings me on a day to day basis. The love I have for my daughter is the deepest love I’ve ever felt. Those two things make all the stress of motherhood seem like it’s nothing. Don’t be so quick to deny yourself that most wondrous of experiences in life.
Thank you, Dr Libby, for your book 'Rushing Woman's Syndrome' and for the TED talk. I feel as if this has answered many questions in my own life as to why I was putting on weight when I eat moderately, am active etc. Have resolved to increase my Pilates from one to two classes a week and breathe from my diaphragm!
Incredible message articulately and powerfully expressed. So much of what Libby says resonates with me - she could have taken the words right out of my mouth, with respect to the 'story' I've written for myself. It's so validating and heartening to hear that other women have similar thoughts and feelings.
When I was a kid I would hear mothers say: "A man may work from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done." And now with every modern convenience we get to do even more!
What a wise, soulful, intelligent, and likeable woman!
Such a pleasure to learn from her.
Its time to question the rapidity of change in our lives and whether that change is worth the negitive consequences of it in us and around us. When life has become to fast to contemplate children and is altering our biochemistry, maybe it is time we reflect on that and start seeking a better path forward.
KINGREXBABI
Totally agree.
I enjoyed this! I really want to hear more talks from her. I shared this on my facebook page in hopes to reaching other women. I just recently compromised my health in order do a project for someone else. I kept it up knowing I was pushing myself, but wouldn't be able to keep up like that. I am glad it's over, and now I'm thinking how foolish that was for a lousy thank you. I'm sorry, but when people are benefiting from your health risks, thank you just doesn't compensate. That makes me think of what are the reasons behind such sacrafice? Is it to be liked? well you might resent yourself. I thank God for his mercy and grace for all of us.
I bought Dr Libby's book after reading John Gabriel 2 years ago. To me it seemed they were on the same page and I loved that. I have struggled all my life and feel although I know the truth it is very hard to apply it, had I not been vigilant all my life I would have suffered many worse consequences. I still continue to struggle daily. This is a fabulous lecture however one still has to take up the reigns of control alone. I hope the following generation has more help than mine has.
I am such a fan of Dr. Libby Weaver's work and I am so lucky I will be hearing her again this summer at the USANA Health Sciences International Convention in Salt Lake City.
I cant imagine being a mother while still do my mission in this world ( ie. job , carreer ) @ 15:30. So this smart woman has admitted its often a choice between a family and kids or a career. Damn that sucks
Haha, not exactly :) She admitted that it is not fair that in partnerships with both working parents that the woman also still does the majority of the housework alone (unpaid work). So don't be a father if you can't imagine finding time for your mission in this world :)
nuagebleu88
Majority of mothers in a two income family work less hours than men. So the women do most the dishes and laundry. Big whoop. However, men should be more involved in the parenting department.
I've been a stay at home, a part time and a full time worker. I come home everyday feeling stressed about what to make for my family trying to get my family to help me keep our home nice so we have clean dishes to eat and clothes to wear. Its not easy when society is telling us we can be super woman and mom. we can NOT without a society that is supportive.
I agree, and thank you for getting it. A lot of fathers suffer too, not bejng able to see your kids because of breadwinning sucks too... but sadly, that blinds many men of the reality thier partners go through as mentioned above... saying one doesnt cancel or ignore the other.
My "rushing woman syndrome" eventually led to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I learned the hard way :( Great talk!!!
It's the same for men as well. Men and women both work too much and are unable to sleep, eat and love well enough to live happily or healthily.... Its the price of "progress" I guess.
tophermazzful no it is corporate greed. It’s different in other countries, where workers get better benefits and more vacation time.
@@aquasky1138 which country?
Urban Climber Pick any Scandinavian country.
Price of capitalism.
@A lone Cockroach Ok... Except the U.S. has a lower healthy life expectancy than any of the countries ranked with a higher rank on the world happiness report. And we also have fairly high rates of suicide, and significantly higher rates of general murders (especially related to domestic assault and vulnerable populations).
Dr. Libby - THANK YOU! You touch our hearts every single time you speak! Look forward to seeing you in August!
Incredible. You just blew MY head off my shoulders. Thank you for contribution to the world Libby...pow pow.
Omg, I've just been thinking this exact thing. Women let go of their self-love a little to be there for others and because of trauma but it's been a hard road and hopefully now we can rebalance and re-establish those right boundaries to make sure our health and happiness come first so we can give from a place of abundance again. What a beautiful talk!
My wife insisted we follow her opportunities. Like, shouting argument insisted. Now, six years later, she is having panic attacks and trying every medication under the sun. She is super stressed and worn out and I feel for her deeply.
I recently, tactfully suggested that we should have followed my opportunities, and she agreed.
I'm reviewing her latest book "Accidentally Overweight" which lead me to this Ted Talk. Her message for many, is a concerned eye opener.
Optimal wellness is so important.
So grateful for the message you are sending Dr Libby, I just hope the 'rushing women' out there find 18 minutes to sit down and listen. You're amazing.. Love your work!
That was a beautiful explanation of the modern woman's life! I love the science behind it and the incredible emotion and passion in the talk. It really is a new challenge for us, personally I believe mindfulness really is the antidote to stress. Thank you Dr Libby for bringing it so poetically into the limelight!
Couldn't stop nodding in agreement throughout your entire talk, so close to home for so many of us out there, brought tears to my eyes at the end thinking about that little girl haveing a twirly dance without a care in the world - time to go put on a dress and be that girl again. Thank you
Thank You so much! you are a beautiful radiant light and I hope this love and light will continue to spread far and wide. Many blessings to you x
This may be my favorite TedX presentation!
this was a great speech speaking volumes to me
I cried at the end. So relatable.
Came here after watching School of Affluence and now im more empowered
Thank you Dr Libby for bringing up the importance of how precious we are and connecting with our breath. I was fortunate enough to experience that abundantly in my first Art of Living Happiness Program when i was studying in University in India (IIT Mumbai). It enriched my life to see the beauty and wonder around and to be useful to others. I see you are doing that so effectively. Thank you again.
Woman gives a TEDx Talk about how working women can manage their stress better and find a healthier balance. She does not blame men. She does not even mention men at all, as antagonists of any kind. It was purely a woman to woman talk on wellbeing. Yet men feel attacked in the comments. Or are seeing this as some sign of weakness that women cannot work outside the home and should stay at home under the control of a man, with no financial or social resources of her own in the very likely event of death, disease, disability, divorce, desertion or detrimental treatment by the single providing partner, which is the most vulnerable and dangerous position for a woman to be in, especially if there are children too.
Women TALK ABOUT THEIR STRESSES and are open about their vulnerabilities and try to address them. Is that a sign of weakness or of strength? Who commits more violence (including suicide) due to life stresses? Women or men? So rather than denounce her talk, ask why there aren't more men speaking to their fellow brothers about how to manage their life/work stresses and find a healthier balance as men. Light a candle rather than try to dim the light other people are trying to shine. If a man were speaking to his brothers about the stresses they face and how to better manage it, I would applaud it.
Tremendously important information. Yes, place the oxygen mask on yourself, first.
+Lori Carden Maybe u should run more. Increase ur aerobic efficiency. Then you won't need the oxygen mask.
Easily the best TedTalk I’ve ever listened to. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom.
Thank you for sharing such powerful information. You really opened my mind to think about what I have experienced and had not put words to before. Thank you for sharing so thoughtfully and passionately!
11:46
This amazed my!!
Stress and anxiety is horrible
Unfortunately, i have lived this experience and have burnt out more than once. It takes a long time to come back from. I feel better now mentally, but i need to address the physical aspects. Her talk made me understand some of the problems I'm having a bit better. Everyone, please slow down as much as you are able to!
Yet another amazing and insightful, impassioned and pertinent talk Dr Libby. I love what you do and all that you teach. It brought me to my heart centre to hear you doubting your own bravery... even the superwomen of this world have fears. Thank you for sharing. I send you love.
This is the most relevant personally meaningful TedTalk that I have lisitened to.
You share your wisdom with love, thank you. You take the biochemistry workings of the body and put it into simple language that everyone can understand and that's what makes the difference - understanding how the body works leads one to make the right choices ... ripple on, ripple effect.
I never tire of listening to your inspirational messages Dr Libby, you looked gorgeous and totally rocked those killer heels. much love xx
Wow Dr Libby - what an awesome message that resonates with me. I am sure it resonates with others as well. Thank you so much for putting so much into just 18 minutes.
The pace of life can also usually be traced to the amount of bills due to HER demands.
I didn't think I'd recognize myself in this, but then at the end, that feeling came back as she was talking.....
You know, that feeling of never being good enough, there's no point in even trying because you'll never be good enough. No matter what you do, you're doing less than others.... But are you though? Or are you burnt out from doing too much? That feeling of hopelessness is the root of my depression, and it's crippling .
She is good! Thinking about mental health and the human need to put our own breath first works for me. I am disabled for mental illness that is not my fault. I put my mental health first and sometimes, rarely, am guilted for it. Everyone should have this liberty!
Probably the best Ted Talk yet
This rang so true, I teared up
Dr Libby is truly one of the most beautiful women and I mean from her soul I’ve come to know
You care so much, you smile and act polite to strangers and unleash your angst and anger on those you love. Standard.
Best comment
Dr. Libby Weaver, thank you for such an inspired and fascinating talk. Such wonderful information you are sharing!
Thank you so much for this! So helpful and can't wait to share! Again THANK YOU! You are such a blessing!
she is FULL of energy and excitement! I love this talk, it’s amazing!
Love the message, Dr Libby is spot on. And it's possible to make even small changes that she advocates that can make a huge change in your life. I know!
What a wonderful observation. This is exactly why I decide not to make my own family and simply pursue a career. Thank you so much for this, Dr Weaver!
I'm genuinely not trying to judge, just curiosity from a young woman; do you ever feel empty or dissatisfied without a family?
That’s interesting. Because my take from this talk was that careers and working long hours is what is harming women. That women should slow down(work less) so you can have children (not ruin your fertility).
As a mother of one, when you love your child, it is the deepest truest love on this planet. It’s incredible. It leaves me in awe all the time. And when that child loves you back. It’s too incredible for words. I seriously think having children and loving them is the best thing in life and is the answer. But this is just my opinion and life experience.
YOU ROCK DR LIBBY! You give me so much inspiration to continue with my work helping people heal, nurture and understand themselves. Everything you talk about so passionately, so clearly, is exactly what I see in the world around meand in my clients . Thank you for being a bright light to help lead the way forward :-)
What a beautiful talk. Makes so much sense. I've always pondered over these issues and wondered how is it that women, being biologicaly wired so differently than men are expected to carry out the same roles as men along with domestic ones, while excelling at all. It seems humanly impossible. It's such an important lesson she gives to us womenfolk. Don't try to please evryone and do evrything. Take care of yourself first. Make career and family/personal choices according to your priorities and abilities.
Thank you Dr Libby, you are an absolute inspiration and a ray of light and hope for us all!
Thank YOU so VERU MUCH. I have collected all the pieces over the years, looked at them, tried them separately. Not until now have I heard the pieces put together and connect all the components So very relevant. I hope that with this new take on it, I will be able to improve my personal state of being. You have a grateful friend in ST John USVI
it is so great to hear someone who's talking Body Mind and Spirit and helping me understand more about my life. I also love that dr. Libby Weaver belongs to USANA Health Sciences and uses these very fine products as I do.
Absolutely brilliant to listen to! Thank you Dr Libby! You are an inspiration!
the thing is most men were raised by housewives and when they saw their mom they got used to the woman doing the housework and when they saw their dad they got used to the man not doing the house work (cause they did a job) and the girls grew up observing exactly the same thing
so of course its hard to unlearn that for both, with the guys being reluctant to do more in the house as it doesn't come naturally to them and girls taking on more than they need to cope with because they feel like theres no other choice
honestly i think the modern corporate world is complete madness, i grew up in circumstances where both of my parents were always taken away from me because of work pressure or they would just fight with each other over bills and chores - as the woman said there was no child in the mix but when there is a child they often end up feeling abandoned or have to be raised by caretakers or boarding schools or soak up all the physical/verbal violence of the parents towards each or the kid and that aint cute
this is why at least from my personal experience what i believe is that one partner should be the breadwinner and the other the home carer (regardless of gender - in fact house husband and working wife should be just as normalised as the other way around)
in this scenario both should have equal respect for the importance of the other's role and not see it as less than what they are doing
it means that there is always a clear understanding of what is whos responsibility and no one is going crazy doing more than their fair share and so im expecting there should be far fewer fights
and really if we cut down our expenses and stop buying unaffordable materialistic things that dont even make us happy from inside, if we can live in smaller spaces - a life of quality instead of quantity then we don't need 2 wages and overall it is better for the environment too
just like in games all carries need a good support, one should be the carry of the household and other the support
im going to experiment with this lifestyle with my partner and lets see if my expectations become true
Amen
luckybeach mrin I agree. But how does one afford to live in a one income household? That would be my dream but I’m nervous I’d be homeless 😰
Michelle Novalee depends on many factors like where you live and how much your partner earns, but i think depends most on how much you think you need to spend to live a full filling life
if you can avoid spending on stuff you don't really need and just save it for the few things that make you super happy along with your survival needs then it should work
i mean a lot of households do function fine with just one wage, they just have a more "humble" lifestyle
the problem comes when you need the latest car, the biggest house, the most expensive phone - then you end up stacking up a lot of debt and have no option but to earn for it
I mean if you are a paper chaser and rich things make you who you are then go for it (just don't have a child if you plan on having them in childcare the whole time in this case)
but if thats not you then that's totally fine too to live a simple easy life
Watched and shared.. cried heaps.. thank you xo
Thought provoking message by a very beautiful woman.
Thank you so much for this talk, I really appreciate your love for the human body. Have a nice day.
Brilliant!
Clear, straight from your heart! Thank you Dr Libby!
amazing conference , full of great informations , with a very happy person leading it , and the final minute is so touching !! ;)
The men commenting on this video are kind of sadly hilarious. You all missed the point.
Cuntsplain us the point, Cutie.
Can you elaborate? This woman is an emotional basket case, that by her own admission, took 14 years to complete a PhD in biochemistry 14 !!!!!! And she doesn't have children. I love women for giving us life!! but thank you men, who got their PhD in 7 years, got a job produce, and built a world in which a woman, intelligent or not. Can go out and spend 14 of their moust fertile years of her life, on a PhD. Than go on a Tedx talk, and complain about the amoud of emails she has after a vacation 🤣🤣🤣✌🤠
Elpidio Valdez Not only that, this woman missed the mark completely. Her claim is that we are stuck with the way things are, there’s no going back! We all have to have jerbs outside the home and let some daycare raise our kids! Instead of saying “if it’s stressing you out, don’t try to do it all” she says do a diaphragmatic breath!🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@ricoletocubano mate she worked while getting her PhD. I work full time for an engineering firm to get my engineering masters its going to take 6 years at two classes a semester. Then im getting my PhD afterward. Going to be 15 years total in college. If you can complete your PhD in 7 years you have an incredibly privileged life and probably have no real world experience or work experience in any meaningful field outside of McDonalds.
@@aidanhodgescience7634 At least you're working in a highly profitable field.
Interesting. When a doctor prescribed progesterone for me, it caused horrific and fast weight gain, deep depression and anxiety, and several other terrible problems. After firing him, I've since had about 8 other doctors wonder WTAF that first doctor was thinking! For me at least, progesterone was the worst thing for me.
Me too, I gained 30kg and still so tired and depressed
I am pro modern independent woman but I honestly think someone should stay home in the house, just not necessarily the woman. Staying home allows you to make a cozy nest, make sure your family’s getting healthy meals, and spend quality time with kids. I think that you can have a side hustle at home or remote work. But men and women should take turns. Like my mans a software engineer and I work with NGOs. I like the toddler age and he likes the elementary age. We are both working hard now. When we have kids I’ll probably stay at home first and then he will stay at home or work part time after. Once they are in middle school or high school we can both work:).
I can never get enough of your profound and inspiring speeches - thanks heaps
I'm enjoying these TED talks, so much! So much life experience is spoon fed to the You Tube viewer. Thank you!
My take on this issue...We don't have to live like this. Scale it down people! Relax, ask for help, do less, create a community and help eachother out, live life and have fun. I have a big family and i have a man who also comes home and works at home, fixing things, picking up, childcare, help with homework, cooking. We BOTH do it all! But we also dont care if our house is perfect, if we are "keeping up with the joneses" or anyone else for that matter. And the kids can help too! Dont shy away from chores and teaching kids responsibility. Create a community with neighbors, friends and family and exchange help/work. If you dont think there are enough hours in the day its because, yes, you're taking on too much, but also you're not slowing down and taking it one hour at a time (or even one moment at a time) ,one task at a time. Give yourself permission to say no. Love and care for yourselves and appreciate the man ( and/ or other loved ones ) who help you out. The babies are both parents responsibility (and the bills) and some people divide the two which is great if that works for them. The home is the responsability of ALL who live there. (Even 2 year olds can pick up thier toys and bring their dish to the sink..everyone can pitch in). Life is meant to be fun and joyful! If something isnt working for you, change it! Its all within your power!