Not comparing him to Chris Watts, but one thing they seemed to have in common was hiding their true feelings and building up discontent till the point that they had an affair. By the time that happens they are fully committed to the reality they have built up in their mind. They believe their partner is the source of their unhappiness and look for all kinds of evidence to prove it.
Interesting! Type six is definitely the hardest to understand. As a sexual subtype myself, I'm sympathetic to his dissatisfaction (if not his strategy for dealing with the problem). Interestingly, Raquel as a sexual subtype, also got that point. I wonder if Ariana is more of self preservation type and that was part of the clash. People have different needs and values...
Sandoval didn’t say he got his therapist to break up with him. He wanted to plan his way to break up while on therapy with Ariana. Actually people when they have therapy they do discuss ways to break up. He seems to be scared of confronting the break up of relationships. So it makes sense he sought help to break up.
I feel you did a wonderful job explaining 6s. My world absolutely needs to make sense to me. Just the other day someone called asking if they brought their dog to a consultation we scheduled with them. Mind you, we are a dog training business, they were told the purpose of the consultation is to assess the behaviors so we can make a plan for training, and that this consultation is $250 but is applied as a credit if you move forward with training. Why then, would you ask me, if you’re supposed to bring your dogs? If I can’t make it make sense in my brain, then I think you’re incompetent, and incompetent people are equally as dangerous as ill intentioned people and need stay far far away from me. Needless to say, it is reiterated to her “yes.” And then she acts so surprised when I send her an invoice for $250. Infuriating.
As a sexual subtype myself (and a type 4 no less), to me it's death to live without inspiration/connection. I've found that more "conventional" relationship people (subtypes Social and SP?) are fairly judgemental of people who have my orientation in life, when I'm pretty understanding of their need for stability. It's as if my need for inspiration or connection is disrupting of everyone else's social order and/or security...?
The only part that I did not understand is, if he wanted to break up with Ariana so badly, why did he go to fertility clinics in order to have children with her?
Tom really was hurt and jealous seeing those friends he felt were his support gathered to Ariana. That must have been really big emotional damage to him.
Is Trauma also considered an "overlay" of personality? High anxiety responses are often linked to trauma, but here it seems to be a personality trait of Enneagram 6 - does Trauma create that personality type?
Definitely trauma is an overlay!!! that is a huge factor in how our personalities come out!!! In the Enneagram we believe that people are born with their types, but trauma can effect our levels of health and the way we act out our type!!!
Dumpster fire of relationships between Sandoval/Leviss and Schwartz/Katie which is - 6/9 relationship just validated my idea that this pairing sounds awful to me.
It's so interesting that he wants to question others so extensively and wants them to take accountability, but has no real interest in questioning himself and his patterns of behavior, and no interest in truly taking accountability. Wow
I am not trying to be critical or to gatekeeper. However, from a psychological standpoint - one is not neurodivergent if they are a narcissist. Narcissism is not a neurological condition - it is a personality disorder. These are different things. Neurodivergence is based on a neurological condition - ie conditions that have ‘traits’ that are caused by the way the brain brain is wired (e.g. ADHD, Autism, Tourette’s, dyslexia, etc.). Personality disorders like Narcissism are a type of psychological disorders, which are caused by a variety of things like genetics, trauma, personality, situational stress, etc. (e.g. anxiety, mood disorders, depressions personality disorder - Narcism, BPD, etc). Psychological disorders are defined by symptoms, behaviours, and/or emotions. Psychological disorders significantly impair quality of life - and are illnesses that can be treated and worked on. Neurological conditions do not inherently impede quality of life - difficulties arise from having a brain that is wired differently from what the world is designed to accommodate - which in turn can cause trauma, frustration and lead to psychological disorders. Neurological conditions are not illnesses and are not to be treated but rather accommodated to make life easier. Essentially, neurological conditions are based on how you interpret and relate to the external world. Psychological disorders are generally how we relate to our internal world - emotions, negative thought patterns, etc. Neurological conditions can lead to psychological disorders. But psychological disorders cannot lead to neurological conditions (although they can mimic symptoms). Neither is better or worse than the other. They are just different, and language is important when describing these complex issues.
I don't see how Tom Sandoval is anyway like Katie. Katie is confrontative and combative and Tom Sandoval is extraverted, social and requires to be around people and looks for ways in how to get along with others, rather or not it is sincere is a whole other issure he still shows efforts to try to see other persons point of view. The only thing Tom and Katie have in common is their deep connection with Tom Schwarz. Tom Sandoval reacts to Katie because he knows Tom's and Katie's relationship well and how it was affecting his relationship with Tom Schwartz but also how his best friend was dealing with Katies explosive at times unkind personality. So Tom Schwartz is the only common denomitor between Tom Sandoval and Katie. Tom Schwartz wants to be likeable. Tom Sandoval made it easy for Tom Schwartz to feel liked. Tom Schwartz and Katie break up but Katie, a person that Tom doesn't care to be around much is around often to visit and build a future with Ariana. That is one of the things that repelled Tom from Ariana, her relationship with Katie and Lala. Lala and Katie would say mean things about Requel Tom teamed up with Raquel so he could escape from Ariana's closeness to LaLa and Katie. Things happened. In my opinion she is discribing Katie's traits. None of her discriptions fits Tom Sandoval. For one thing he is the least complexed person of the whole group. He is busy living his life in his crazy way but not complexed way..
I’m thrown why he kept telling everyone he intended to break up with Ariana before the reunion and he doesn’t take accountability for his actions regarding his affair. He basically blames it on Ariana. It seems to me he’s not concerned with accountability and intension does matter to him. It seems to be more important than reality.
100% also I can't get over him saying "every time I tried to tell her I got the Feeling she Doesn't want to know." Huh?🤔🤨🤐 Make it make sense🤣. And to think he got away with saying it not once but twice. Noone called him out perfect example of flipping the script to not take responsibility.
@@stacydavis9336 I don't find it that problematic, of course she didn't want to know and he intuited that. Nobody wants to hear bad news. He should have told her anyway but can't go back in time...
Wow, makes total sense. I thought he was a 3, but I haven’t studied enneagram in a long time. And no wonder he makes me so upset- my mom is a counter phobic sexual 6 who cheated on my dad and left him. At least she married the guy 😂 As a 6, he very much hid and downplayed some of his tendencies because he was very conscious of how he was coming across. It’s been shocking to see him be “revealed”. I also thought Raquel was a 3, Katie a 1, and Schwartz a 9, but what you said makes sense. Would love to see what you think about the rest of the cast.
James seems more of 3 to me but maybe it’s just because he’s so out there talking about the fact that he’s the most wealthy and successful with the best looking girlfriends.
Did any of the analysis surprise you? Did you feel like it made sense?
I don’t think people realise that people can have narcissistic traits without being a narcissist
Makes a lot of sense.
I agree!
Not comparing him to Chris Watts, but one thing they seemed to have in common was hiding their true feelings and building up discontent till the point that they had an affair. By the time that happens they are fully committed to the reality they have built up in their mind. They believe their partner is the source of their unhappiness and look for all kinds of evidence to prove it.
He’s a covert narcissist, which Tom could be for sure
I agree with all of this. I think Tom could be covert as well!
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Intro
02:57 Type 6 Analysis
03:22 Counterphobic
04:48 Other's behaviors
10:13 Questioning and attacking
12:27 Support systems
15:31 Emotionally complex
16:38 Subtypes
21:56 Narcissism
25:08 Closing
I’m obsessed with your channel and I’m so glad I found it :)
I'm so glad! 🥹
Awe the little bubba ❤
❤
he’s three weeks old as of yesterday 🥹
Interesting! Type six is definitely the hardest to understand. As a sexual subtype myself, I'm sympathetic to his dissatisfaction (if not his strategy for dealing with the problem). Interestingly, Raquel as a sexual subtype, also got that point. I wonder if Ariana is more of self preservation type and that was part of the clash. People have different needs and values...
Wow you are good! Yes I’m planning on analyzing Ariana as an Sp 1!
Thanks to your previous vid of Raquel… I deeeeeep dived into researching enneagram personalities. This is perfect timing 😊
So glad!! Its very interesting!
Thanks for breaking down the pens and batteries thing… when he said that, I was like wtf. You explained it well though
Definitely one of the more confusing moments in VPR history LOL!
Well I knew right away he ment always being the 1 to " go to the store". Or who does all the shopping.
Sandoval didn’t say he got his therapist to break up with him. He wanted to plan his way to break up while on therapy with Ariana. Actually people when they have therapy they do discuss ways to break up. He seems to be scared of confronting the break up of relationships. So it makes sense he sought help to break up.
Nice!
Fantastic.... Could you do LVP? She's fascinating.
I feel you did a wonderful job explaining 6s. My world absolutely needs to make sense to me.
Just the other day someone called asking if they brought their dog to a consultation we scheduled with them. Mind you, we are a dog training business, they were told the purpose of the consultation is to assess the behaviors so we can make a plan for training, and that this consultation is $250 but is applied as a credit if you move forward with training.
Why then, would you ask me, if you’re supposed to bring your dogs? If I can’t make it make sense in my brain, then I think you’re incompetent, and incompetent people are equally as dangerous as ill intentioned people and need stay far far away from me.
Needless to say, it is reiterated to her “yes.” And then she acts so surprised when I send her an invoice for $250. Infuriating.
I'm so glad you thought so!
That does sound infuriating
As a sexual subtype myself (and a type 4 no less), to me it's death to live without inspiration/connection. I've found that more "conventional" relationship people (subtypes Social and SP?) are fairly judgemental of people who have my orientation in life, when I'm pretty understanding of their need for stability. It's as if my need for inspiration or connection is disrupting of everyone else's social order and/or security...?
I agree with that! Social first people are kind of meant to judge others!
@@hachimama Ah I didn't know that. Its my lowest priority instinct, so I definitely don't get these people.
Fascinating. Thank you.
Thank you so much!
The only part that I did not understand is, if he wanted to break up with Ariana so badly, why did he go to fertility clinics in order to have children with her?
no idea!!! good question!!
Tom really was hurt and jealous seeing those friends he felt were his support gathered to Ariana. That must have been really big emotional damage to him.
He did a lot of emotional damage to everyone so if he got a little I think it was well deserved.
I agree it probably hurt!
I think you nailed it 👏👏
thank you!!! 💖💖💖
Great Video, great explanation and so easy to understand.
SOO Glad it was helpful!!!!!!!
omg the baby in the back 😫💓
Is Trauma also considered an "overlay" of personality? High anxiety responses are often linked to trauma, but here it seems to be a personality trait of Enneagram 6 - does Trauma create that personality type?
Definitely trauma is an overlay!!! that is a huge factor in how our personalities come out!!! In the Enneagram we believe that people are born with their types, but trauma can effect our levels of health and the way we act out our type!!!
Dumpster fire of relationships between Sandoval/Leviss and Schwartz/Katie which is - 6/9 relationship just validated my idea that this pairing sounds awful to me.
Yes I was gonna make a video on their relationship!
It's so interesting that he wants to question others so extensively and wants them to take accountability, but has no real interest in questioning himself and his patterns of behavior, and no interest in truly taking accountability. Wow
more enneagram stuff pleeeez
YES!!!! Planning on doing the entire cast.
That was super interesting
Thank you so much
I am not trying to be critical or to gatekeeper. However, from a psychological standpoint - one is not neurodivergent if they are a narcissist. Narcissism is not a neurological condition - it is a personality disorder. These are different things.
Neurodivergence is based on a neurological condition - ie conditions that have ‘traits’ that are caused by the way the brain brain is wired (e.g. ADHD, Autism, Tourette’s, dyslexia, etc.).
Personality disorders like Narcissism are a type of psychological disorders, which are caused by a variety of things like genetics, trauma, personality, situational stress, etc. (e.g. anxiety, mood disorders, depressions personality disorder - Narcism, BPD, etc). Psychological disorders are defined by symptoms, behaviours, and/or emotions.
Psychological disorders significantly impair quality of life - and are illnesses that can be treated and worked on. Neurological conditions do not inherently impede quality of life - difficulties arise from having a brain that is wired differently from what the world is designed to accommodate - which in turn can cause trauma, frustration and lead to psychological disorders. Neurological conditions are not illnesses and are not to be treated but rather accommodated to make life easier.
Essentially, neurological conditions are based on how you interpret and relate to the external world. Psychological disorders are generally how we relate to our internal world - emotions, negative thought patterns, etc. Neurological conditions can lead to psychological disorders. But psychological disorders cannot lead to neurological conditions (although they can mimic symptoms).
Neither is better or worse than the other. They are just different, and language is important when describing these complex issues.
I agree with this!
Interesting.
Thank you so much!
This is interesting
Thank you 🙏 💖
I don't see how Tom Sandoval is anyway like Katie. Katie is confrontative and combative and Tom Sandoval is extraverted, social and requires to be around people and looks for ways in how to get along with others, rather or not it is sincere is a whole other issure he still shows efforts to try to see other persons point of view. The only thing Tom and Katie have in common is their deep connection with Tom Schwarz. Tom Sandoval reacts to Katie because he knows Tom's and Katie's relationship well and how it was affecting his relationship with Tom Schwartz but also how his best friend was dealing with Katies explosive at times unkind personality. So Tom Schwartz is the only common denomitor between Tom Sandoval and Katie. Tom Schwartz wants to be likeable. Tom Sandoval made it easy for Tom Schwartz to feel liked. Tom Schwartz and Katie break up but Katie, a person that Tom doesn't care to be around much is around often to visit and build a future with Ariana.
That is one of the things that repelled Tom from Ariana, her relationship with Katie and Lala. Lala and Katie would say mean things about Requel Tom teamed up with Raquel so he could escape from Ariana's closeness to LaLa and Katie. Things happened. In my opinion she is discribing Katie's traits. None of her discriptions fits Tom Sandoval. For one thing he is the least complexed person of the whole group. He is busy living his life in his crazy way but not complexed way..
They are very different! Their instinct makes them behave differently. I uploaded a Katie video just yesterday :)
Does it take a consideration of him taking drugs
No that is a behavior not a personality trait!
I didn't find what he said so horrible
I found it pretty bad!
I’m thrown why he kept telling everyone he intended to break up with Ariana before the reunion and he doesn’t take accountability for his actions regarding his affair. He basically blames it on Ariana. It seems to me he’s not concerned with accountability and intension does matter to him. It seems to be more important than reality.
100% also I can't get over him saying "every time I tried to tell her I got the Feeling she Doesn't want to know." Huh?🤔🤨🤐 Make it make sense🤣. And to think he got away with saying it not once but twice. Noone called him out perfect example of flipping the script to not take responsibility.
Same!
Agreed!
@@hachimama 😳😎
@@stacydavis9336 I don't find it that problematic, of course she didn't want to know and he intuited that. Nobody wants to hear bad news. He should have told her anyway but can't go back in time...
Wow, makes total sense. I thought he was a 3, but I haven’t studied enneagram in a long time. And no wonder he makes me so upset- my mom is a counter phobic sexual 6 who cheated on my dad and left him. At least she married the guy 😂 As a 6, he very much hid and downplayed some of his tendencies because he was very conscious of how he was coming across. It’s been shocking to see him be “revealed”. I also thought Raquel was a 3, Katie a 1, and Schwartz a 9, but what you said makes sense. Would love to see what you think about the rest of the cast.
I thought he could be 3 too but Sx 6 can mimic 3 in their need for achievements and looking good!! 💖✨ planning on doing the rest of the cast too!
James seems more of 3 to me but maybe it’s just because he’s so out there talking about the fact that he’s the most wealthy and successful with the best looking girlfriends.
@@hachimama looking forward to it! No rush, I know you have pretty new baby❤️
Adorable baby 👶
thank you! he’s three weeks old as of yesterday 🥹
He's a all about me kinda guy
Very true!
I'll travel the world 🌎 instead getting drunk in LA there are some much to see and learn punk.
I agree!
sandy is pansexual
i don't think any of the men on the show are heterosexual
Interesting!