This is kind of like the "who's driving the car" analogy that Multiplicity and Me uses.... It's helpful for those of us who are Singletons understand. And it's super cool. Treat you all like different people...because you are.
Oh boy, thank you for touching on this subject. Since our diagnosis, this has been on our minds ALOT. Fortunately, we have a very understanding and supportive wife (err... at least some of us) who treats everyone as individuals. BUT... the line can be really fuzzy at times. We can remember one night a few months in (to our diagnosis- we've been married for 6 years) when we were attempting to explain Blending and Fronting. She asked "so who is up front now?" All we could really do is wave our hands helplessly. The Host or Core is very difficult to determine for us. Who came first? Does that person still exist? Is the Host/Core an alter? We're still not certain, and it can make things... difficult. Our Littlest looks on her as a friend rather than a mom, due to trauma reasons. We have one alt who is female and older than the body. Our wife treats her as a grandmother figure(ish). We have one who is female and a pre-teen with an attitude. Our wife sees her as any mother would see a pre-teen. We have our Gatekeeper/Recorder, who has little to no emotion at all. He is more a 'friend' to our wife, but is virtually always up front or blending. Always watching, always recording, always looking for patterns that might indicate danger. We have our "Do The Job" alt, who fronts when there is something to get done and that's ALL he's interested in. Anything or anyone else is just an irritant. He's... an ass. Our wife tolerates him but has begun to learn how to manage him and his very brusque (rude) nature. And then there is the Host/Core... who is actually married to our/in love with our wife. Then there is another... person... who takes care of the 'intimate' relations. Our Gatekeeper and Core stay blended with him at ALL TIMES. This is obviously a touchy area for all systems and very closely related to trauma- and it's not something that we've seen any channels really address... but it's the elephant in the room. It can be very difficult to walk that thin line between intimacy and being triggered and we have to be very careful that everyone is in their proper place in the headspace. Littles asleep and blocked off, those who are not involved in that way pre-occupied with whatever, ect. Our wife knows this as we have been very candid with her and has been very accepting of it, which helps- because like it or not, physical affection is still part of any healthy long term relationship and it can be extraordinarily difficult to manage- especially with DID in the picture. How do you tell your loved one that you don't want to be touched by ANYONE most of the time and still stay close? It's got to hurt. But we keep trying, if only for her sake. Sorry if that got too personal, but it's an integral part of life with a system and has been one of the most challenging things for us to address. We're certain that we're not the only system with those issues to deal with either, so maybe by our (tactfully) explaining how we manage might help someone? As always, THANK YOU for what you do and dedicating your time, energy and forks.
I love to research about the human mind becouse of my own mental disorder (bipolar disorder fast cycles). Some time ago I realized that mental disorders are for the most part a survival mechanism. At least that's my take on it
@@LadyNikitaShark They are, at least DID is. We would suggest reading "The Body Keeps The Score", it's a little dry, but if there's a book that explains that really well, this is the one. The author goes into the neurological changes that trauma causes and how it affects virtually everything.
I think DIDwithme touched on this topic (intimacy) a bit by telling about their experience. I don't remember in which video exactly, but their channel is could be really helpful.
I think DIDwithme touched on this topic (intimacy) a bit by telling about their experience. I don't remember in which video exactly, but their channel is could be really helpful.
a car....with (x) amount of drivers. Each driver has their own driving habits. And each person in the shotgun seat will react differently to the the driving habits of the driver. What music does the driver want? Does the driver want to talk to the navigator?, etc.
I was watching Surrogates the other day. The scene where Bruce Willis' character operates Rhada Mitchell's surrogate was the epiphany moment. One surrogate...(x) amount of operators swapping in and out of the stim chair.
I definitely needed this video! Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 6 months and she has DID and i dont. So seeing other peoples relationships with your system is nice and the advice is super helpful!
I hope I can get to a place with my partner where my system doesn’t see her as a threat. I feel like I am the only one that wants a relationship with her and the others are just watching and listening. But not connecting to her. So when her and I have a argument they get triggered and want to protect me and us. Especially when she talks about the system. And I know it is something I need to work on. But man is it hard. I dont know where to begin.
We're also married and we totally relate to both how complicated it can be and how wonderful our spouse is/was about it! Things got a lot easier though when we found out our spouse was also a system ^^'
We appreciate your videos so much, all 12 of us, My name is Ruby, Garnet,Terra,Nikki,Alex, Anna, Nick,Cog, Kyanna,Emma, Jada and Bridget, we love you guys so much and appreciate your videos, I just recently told my friend about my DID and even sent him your educational videos and he essentially called me a liar,it hurt but I’m not alone I do have a partner who’s Amazing and you guys to watch when I’m feeling down, my gf has DID as well and we’re lucky to have eachother, my gf had actually fully Merged together but she understands me and we both love your content
The weird thing about disassociating a lot is having a warped sense of time like System Pride Day is happening again, already, really? I feel like that just happened like three months ago. Has it really been a full year already?
Hey, I’ve recently started seeing someone who’s part of a system, and this is really helpful to know. My girlfriend (host) recommended your channel along with a few others. Thank you for this, I’ll be coming back a lot.
recently got tested for DID by request of my therapist, and watching this really helped. i've been worried about what'll happen if i am diagnosed, feeling like i'm going to be alone forever, but seeing you all have successful relationships is giving me hope
I have a close friend with DID and we don't use the term alter, we just say people, and refer to them as being multiple rather than a singleton like myself. I have a different relationship with each person, but it's definitely like we are all part of one family, because we all talk about each other with one another (not in negative ways). Most of the people within my friend's system are children, so when I'm talking with adults or older kids we share affectionate tales about what some little one said or did (either outside or inside). There is a lot of humor actually. Someone made an inside elephant and is regretting making it so anatomically accurate that it craps on everything; or somebody has been secretly eating the flying bread-and-butterflies (toasts made into butterflies as in Alice in Wonderland) and this furtive chomping is infuriating someone else. Or, as an outside example, I'm talking on the phone to a child and she tells me she can't reach her bottle of water because an adult in the system put it up on a high shelf earlier. :) I will say, when you're close with someone with DID it can be sad that there is really never enough time to check in with everyone you would like to. I literally miss people, all the time, that I haven't talked to in days or even weeks. And I know it's hard on them too. In my friend's case I can say something like, "I told so-and-so we could talk today," and then the person who I'm currently chatting with can plan that at the end of our conversation they should perhaps get that person -- unless, say, someone else is really upset. We all try to be as considerate as we can be, and we are, but there is only so much time.
Hello. Thank everyone for saying hello. And having the courage to make your videos. Some months ago I met someone on Facebook with did. But away she's lucky. She does have some blank spots. But anyway she's lucky because she also has autism. So her memory is excellent. She is one of the nicest people's I've ever met. And I mean that with all my heart. Would you believe that she has approximately 50 deviations. She's not quite sure. But guess what. This rarely ever happens. She told me everyone loves me. I feel so blessed. She said no one's ever had the courage to talk to her about it, like I do. And she said I can see through the bull crap. And see the real person in there. And I have zero issues with coping with it. None whatsoever. She's lovely. She told me I'm the nicest person met. And the only person really who's consistently well. I love her system, it is beautiful. Because I'm lucky enough to be one of those people. Who can notice when she switched, that she has. And when she's in the right headspace. She's quite happy to talk about to me. But not all the time. Oh my god she had a absolutely tragic day yesterday. I'm not going to talk and it. But we didn't talk for as long as we normally did she couldn't go. But she did for as long as she could. Because she kept losing her voice. Sometimes I couldn't understand what she was saying. I kept telling her sweetheart please slow down. Deep breath take your time. I normally when I tell her I love her, tell her three times. As a charm, they most definitely appreciate that. She she told me she's sitting to make. She's never told anybody even her therapist. But she is my lady and I am a man. And I love her to pieces. I love you sweetheart. And again. Thank you for your wonderful videos. 🙏💜🐈♐🌠
My partner has DID, and I can't describe how crushing it is sometimes to see them disassociate, or forget parts of our life together, or have to re-explain where they are, who I am, what they've done or what their trauma was. Seeing this every day in someone is definitely both confusing and a little unsettling sometimes, and there's definitely not enough resources for family and friends of those with DID who want to genuinely believe them and help. Being in love with multiple people is also quite interesting, as even when they don't remember me sometimes they remark that they like me or think I'm pretty.... that's when I know that they're my soulmate, because even though their brain is split into different parts, across the board there's a part of them that loves me. Thank you so so so much for making this video and normalising DID and those with DID having healthy relationships! We really appreciate it 💕
You are such a beautiful system inside and out. Good examples and descriptions on singleton and DID relationships it totally makes sense. Glad to learn more about the relationships in your system. I don't have a friend with DID now but could be helpful for me in the future.
I’m curious with all the ‘some people have an inner monologue and some don’t’ discussion. How does this work in a system? Do some of you have a minds eye and others not?
For us it's like our collective mind is a house, we can each talk out loud and others nearby will hear it, but then we each have our own personal mind and inner thoughts/monologue that no one else can hear. So I'd imagine it's possible for an individual alter to not have the inner monologue
I know you have touched on this in other videos (specifically regarding Andrew’s relationships with various system members), so I’m glad to see a full video on this topic!
This is my first time back to the channel in a while and it's super awesome to see their face claims now. It makes it a lot easier to understand each individual in the system.
If you feel comfortable, it would be great if you could talk about how the individual alters feel about physical touch. For example, if Wyn's husband were to her hand and Daniel suddenly got triggered out or became co-conscious, would this cause a problem? How do you as individuals, and a system, deal with it? Totally understandable if this isn't something you want talk about publicly! But it's something we deal with so perhaps other systems do as well. -22 and 26
This sort of thing can be uncomfortable for some, but most of the time I think this state of being generates little ways to just move forward. Like making an excuse to move or something. Sometimes a switch will be noticable too, so it's then easier for others to adjust and give them space until they know who it is.
We're all really close with our hosts' wife, in different ways. I see her as kind of like a sister-in-law so I'll hold her hand if she wants, especially outside, because I view her as like a little sister I'm keeping safe from creeps in public. Some of the others are affectionate but in different ways, like platonic hugging and cuddling. Some of the teenagers will tell her "please don't touch me" or we will tell her "so-and-so is nearby" and she'll know how to change her physical interactions accordingly, since she knows everyones boundaries.
DID has been on my mind a lot recently. Just over two years ago, I started to realise a lot of symptoms that scared me. I eventually found an inner world and meet some people in my head. I also had a friend tell me that he definitely meet someone who I thought was just in my head. I had lots of periods of dissociation and forgetfulness (I can't think of a better word for it, I don't black out completely, just get very confused and forget a lot of details but have a general idea of what happened and no clear memory of not being in control). I found RUclips people like you guys by accident and started really relating to DID. I haven't been formally diagnosed because the mental health system in the UK is shocking and I have yet to see a psychologist despite being on the waiting list for 3 years. I told my partner very briefly about it, but then had a seizure in October. Since that seizure, all my symptoms went away and I figured I had just connected the dots wrong or I was just plain old crazy, because DID or osdd doesn't just go away! Well, I've started to get that dissociation and 'forgetfulness' back again. I'm losing things again frequently, finding I've done stuff I don't remember doing, recalling specific events is becoming difficult again. Idk, could my seizures have caused my brain to shut me out again? Or is it just really bad dissociation? Or hallucinations? I'm just not sure. And of course I'm terrified because I told my partner about this, then it went away and now it might be coming back? I mean, I sound completely mental right? And if it does come back, I have no idea how everything is going to work and how everyone is going to feel about each other etc. Sorry this is so long and rambling, my mind is just all over the place atm. I was just wondering if anyone has experienced anything like this? Or can give some advice on how I should go about this change, DID or not? (BTW, don't worry, I'm getting an mri done Friday because my seizures and other symptoms like migraines and vision issues, but neurologist doesn't think there will be any wrong)
Well I know from this channel and a couple others that brains with DID are designed to protect the host personality from knowledge of the trauma. For this reason it takes people awhile to realize they even have alters. Different alters may hold different trauma that your brain has been protecting you from, hence why you may have this and not know about it. I'm not sure how the seizure would play into brain chemistry though, and you may not even have DID! But keep and open mind and be kind to yourself. You arent faking, you arent crazy, and you arent mental. Even if it is "all in your head" it is 100% valid. I would definitely continue seeking a psychologist's opinion, preferably one specializing in dissociative disorders. It will be ok! Sending love ❤
Hi there Rarr, I just wanted to say that there is something called "psychogenic non-epileptic seizure," or pseudoseizure, which I think can occur in people with severe PTSD or with OSDD/DID. If that were the case for you -- and I have no idea if it might be, or if this might be totally off-base! -- I don't know that an MRI would find anything amiss, because nothing would physically be wrong with your brain functioning the vast majority of the time. I just wanted you to know the term exists because a very close friend with DID used to experience this in the past, and we never found this term, at the time.
@@vitisvinifera2415 hey, thanks for this! I've just had my mri and eeg back and yep, everything is normal. It's a new symptom of my extreme anxiety and C-PTSD. I had no idea mental illness cause such horrific seizures, but I guess it does
thank you. definitely gonna send this video to a friend of ours; seems like no matter how many times we tell them that they don't know all of us that well so acting like they're besties with everybody makes us uncomfy, it doesn't come across. hopefully watching this will paint a clearer picture for them. i know not everybody will get it, but it is frustrating over time.
This is such an important and complicated thing. We're a system in a relationship with another system (several alters in monogamous/poly relationships with alters from the other system) and this can get really confusing 😂
I see the system as one part of the whole which makes up Wyn. Without the system, there is only part of Wyn. Alot of Wyn's likes and tastes wouldn't exist. Wyn would be one dimensional. The system adds more depth and colour. I enjoy each of you. Adds up to a beautiful individual.
I’ve kinda tried a thing with me and “the boys” were calling it “fusion” mixing myself(Dylan) and my strongest alter(Damian)into one we both get along very well and can push away the rest of em and control it to some point
I don't have did but your videos has helped me find out a little bit more about myself. You are an amazing system. Thank you for your outtro. Sometimes I just need to hear it.
You are an amazing amalgamation of many wonderful personalities sharing one body and you are each important. I don't have DID but I do suffer from my own mental and physical health issues. I have a connective tissue issue (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome), and it comes with a lot of emotions that are hard to deal with sometimes. Especially when we get abused by medical "professionals" by being called dramatic fakers. At least in my situation. I never understood the spoon and fork theory until your video, so thanks a ton for that. It's helped relationships with my family actually. Anyways, I relate to all of you that you've introduced me to, and I appreciate your videos. Thank you for sharing your experience and engaging with us. You are helpful to people outside the DID community also. Sending all the positive vibes your way. ❤
I'm liking the new thumbnails, you guys! Super professional and so fancy 😊 I love this video subject, too! I've only heard a couple systems touch very briefly on it.
I’ve always kinda wondered what happens if an alter just straight up dislikes a person who the rest of the system has a good relationship with. I’d like to think if the system is in good communication with each other, that person would just not front when that person is around but who knows. I feel like I remember Piñata system mentioning certain exes of Nan’s they were not all fond of, but those alters who took issue with Nan’s SO at the time might’ve had real good reasons.
I'm friends with a system. I'm mainly friends with the host but I make an effort to get on with all alters I meet and I see them all as friends but the host is more like a brother so its a very different connection. All seemed to know me before I met them. At times it was odd talking to someone i knew nothing about when they knew me
oh this is such a good video!! we're trying to get our friends and the host's partner to treat us different, but no one really listens... hopefully it'll get better! 😅 - Four
5:06 i think my head just did the skip 1/5 seconds thing for the name. And i was confused when "they" kept saying wren/like theyre not her. =confused. /then i noticed=either i didnt know if i could tell if it was her or some1 else?, then stopped/thought of this comment/realised. =i need to rewatch the biggening and see whats happening. =groups find out they just 1 second in a video/later,after you see some1 has something new in a video/but dont know how they got it?...
Kinda curious about the TV show memory sharing thing... Is that a conscious choice and can you choose not to (to get individual first experiences of watching things), or is it more like it instinctively bypasses the amnesia between some of you (or is it somewhere in between)?
Question for Wynn specifically (although trigger warning, this contains the topic of murder so if anyone else is more comfortable with fronting, please go ahead). I've watched your related videos about DID portrayal in the media (mostly movies) and it has me curious about your personal perspective. When writing a fictional book about a character with DID, is it really not okay to make an alter who is both protector and persecutor a murderer even if: 1. The novel is informative and accurate about the cause and symptoms of the disorder, calls it by the correct name and features another character who has a normal life and family and informs the main character that alters aren't normally violent towards other people. 2. The violence in the book is mostly to save someone (the host and her partner) and 3. The people who get murdered are bad people who have murdered others and will continue to murder others if they continue to live.
What if the majority of the head mates don't accept, like or tolerate your life partn er and act upon their feelings? What if they find a way to spoil the relation?
I've kind of been struggling with this recently, cause I have OSDD and my alters aren't super distinct though there are differences. My husband seems to have trouble navigating the different types of relationships and might accidentally hug our Nora who hates physical contact or something. He also insists that he's married to all of us, which is kind of understandable but also a weird concept and I don't really know how to try explain the different relationship types without hurting his feelings :/
Maybe when he says he’s married to you all that’s his way of saying he’s committed to loving you all :) be up front about how you want that love to manifest with each alter, but also be patients Nora is clearly different than you but you share a body so it can be confusing to an outsider. He might need time and understanding as he tries to remember everyone’s preferences.
@@TheEntropySystem Thanks for replying! I am trying to find a line between being understanding but also straightforward about what everyone needs. I know it's new for both of us. Thanks for your reply! ~Leith
Question: Is there an inner world way that you share memories? I imagine one alter putting a letter in another’s mailbox in the apartment building or something. 😋 or is it just like, “boom. Now you know.”
Im sorry for this stupid question I have but who counts the sheep when the body goes or tries to go to sleep? Oh ye, wanted to say to Wyn love your sakura cardcaptor figurines and merch. I wished I had them, I keep staring at them... I am singleton, I admire this channel and all the channels to break free of the stigma. Never met someone with DID so these videos gave me great insight, im not a psychology student or anything just someone who became interested when I heard that many people can reside in one body thanks to this sloppy electrical piece of meat we call brain. Also I hope I didnt offend anybody, im still learning.
What if an alter fronts that you’ve never met before? Say I met the host and to my knowledge they’ve been at the front when the system has been around me. Would it be possible that an alter could front w/out a singletons knowledge one time, and then front later around the same person and introduce themselves? This has raised sooooo many questions for me I’m sorry if that didn’t make sense
If only it was that simple. Does Andrew not get along with any of the main fronters? My partner is a system of 13 and some I get along with really well, others I don't. Any advice?
Get to know those who want to know you, you're not going to be best friends with everyone, but try to find one thing in each one you appreciate. That really helps me when I am with outside people in a group on a long term basis. Finding one thing I like about each person who is in the group with me.
@@peaceofapuzzlebfg update. The alter I'm referring to used to be quite full on but has since shifted, (and I'll use their inner world anime glow versions here,) a little less Vegeta (from DBZ) and more Suigetsu (from Naruto). "Woman, you may prove yourself useful after all..." I believe was his most recent opinion of me. 🤭 he also has sent pictures of explosions to me in place of hearts (like the rest of them do) his version of being sweet I guess.
I have a question for you : People with OCD can have different themes of their obsessions which help them cope with their anxiety, this can cause them to develop obsessions with eating or cleaning etc even symptoms of DID. Almost mirroring the disorder.. What's your thoughts on this? How does that make you feel?
You can in fact have OCD and still be a system. Cause more often than not these symtoms and dissorders and other health issues can be comorbid. BECAUSE there are so manny diffrent people with so manny diffrent Traumas and unique ways to cope in one body. That s why Most Systems get there "fair " share of "wrong" diagnoses bevor they get the diagnoses that explains it all wich is DID. Some of the Most commen "mis" diagnoses are: BPD (borderline), OCD, ADHD Shizophrenia, only PTSD, BIpolar, Major Depression or rezidive Depression, Agxetiety and Panik -disorder. - the Metamorph Mannschaft
I'm curious how you/Andrew refer to alters to people who don't know about the DID? E.g., "my friend Karen likes such-and-such" or are you open about DID in everyday life? I've been struggling with a similar question since most of my relationships aren't mainstream/normal/whatever :P
1:01 is what i remember seeing 1st after the showing all the people. This is sort of normal for when wat hing nazi zombies=i dont know how they have a gun./didnt see them buy it.
Completely off topic, but hey Kim Kim, I want to add you as a friend on my switch so we can trade Pokemon. Would you be up for that? I don't have access to my friend code right now or I'd post it.
You’re the one who’s confused. Take your ignorant bs somewhere else or better yet do some research. This is an actual medical/psychological condition. Systems usually exist to protect their host from intense trauma. Your hate is the last thing they need
It’s a day for people with DID and OSDD to be proud of who they are. Society wants us to be ashamed for being different, but becoming a system is how we survived trauma and so our systems should be celebrated! If you check out the website link in the description you can learn more :)
@@TheEntropySystem ...I don't know how I feel about that. Like for example, "Depression Pride", "Borderline Personality Disorder Pride"... the word "pride" doesn't seem fitting here. "Awareness" would make sense. I have schizoaffective disorder. I don't want a Pride day. I'm not proud of having a serious mental illness. I loathe it. It disrupts my everyday life and has taken so very much from me. If someone told me of a "Schizoaffective Pride" day to celebrate my illness I would feel invalidated and frankly, offended. I get "Gay Pride". Being gay doesn't leave you broken and debilitated. Being gay isn't a mental disease. Being gay doesn't require medication and therapy. Being gay is simply loving who you love. Which is a thing to be proud of. I mean, what if instead of "Breast Cancer Awareness Month" we had "Breast Cancer Pride Day"? That just sounds ridiculous. Maybe "Survivor Day" would work, but not "Pride". People shouldn't romanticize or glamorize mental illness. More and more young people are self diagnosing themselves with serious mental disorders, because they are desperate to find an identity and sense of self. They want somewhere to "belong". They want to be part of a community that accepts them, flaws and all. I believe most of these people genuinely believe they have said illness. But this whole perpetration of "self diagnosis is valid" is VERY dangerous. Kids are going to hear voices in their heads and be like, "these are alters talking, I have DID!" when in reality they are developing schizophrenia and not seeking a professional diagnosis could literally ruin their lives. They could miss out on getting proper medical care and medication and suffer a full blown psychotic break.
this comment has nothing to do with the video, but i would love to send you a box of snacks from England so you guys could do a reaction video. would you think thats a good idea?
This is probably not the right way to see things but I kind of see DID as like internal conjoined twins. Like you share the same body or parts of the same body and you're tethered to the same life experiences with different perspectives but you're all separate people.
To be honest you seem to be making a mockery of actual mental disorders. The way you just switched between all your contrived personalities in the intro is so disingenuous and is not how dissociative identity disorder works. This definitely seems like “look I’m special”.
![Twenty One Pilots - “The Line” (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/E2Rj2gQAyPA/mqdefault.jpg)
This is kind of like the "who's driving the car" analogy that Multiplicity and Me uses.... It's helpful for those of us who are Singletons understand. And it's super cool.
Treat you all like different people...because you are.
💧This is your reminder to 🥤 drink a glass of water!💧
Nah kidneys are overrated.
Thank you 🦊 🌱💙👊
I have the app that reminds me
Oh boy, thank you for touching on this subject. Since our diagnosis, this has been on our minds ALOT.
Fortunately, we have a very understanding and supportive wife (err... at least some of us) who treats everyone as individuals. BUT... the line can be really fuzzy at times. We can remember one night a few months in (to our diagnosis- we've been married for 6 years) when we were attempting to explain Blending and Fronting. She asked "so who is up front now?" All we could really do is wave our hands helplessly. The Host or Core is very difficult to determine for us. Who came first? Does that person still exist? Is the Host/Core an alter? We're still not certain, and it can make things... difficult.
Our Littlest looks on her as a friend rather than a mom, due to trauma reasons.
We have one alt who is female and older than the body. Our wife treats her as a grandmother figure(ish).
We have one who is female and a pre-teen with an attitude. Our wife sees her as any mother would see a pre-teen.
We have our Gatekeeper/Recorder, who has little to no emotion at all. He is more a 'friend' to our wife, but is virtually always up front or blending. Always watching, always recording, always looking for patterns that might indicate danger.
We have our "Do The Job" alt, who fronts when there is something to get done and that's ALL he's interested in. Anything or anyone else is just an irritant. He's... an ass. Our wife tolerates him but has begun to learn how to manage him and his very brusque (rude) nature.
And then there is the Host/Core... who is actually married to our/in love with our wife.
Then there is another... person... who takes care of the 'intimate' relations. Our Gatekeeper and Core stay blended with him at ALL TIMES.
This is obviously a touchy area for all systems and very closely related to trauma- and it's not something that we've seen any channels really address... but it's the elephant in the room. It can be very difficult to walk that thin line between intimacy and being triggered and we have to be very careful that everyone is in their proper place in the headspace. Littles asleep and blocked off, those who are not involved in that way pre-occupied with whatever, ect.
Our wife knows this as we have been very candid with her and has been very accepting of it, which helps- because like it or not, physical affection is still part of any healthy long term relationship and it can be extraordinarily difficult to manage- especially with DID in the picture. How do you tell your loved one that you don't want to be touched by ANYONE most of the time and still stay close? It's got to hurt. But we keep trying, if only for her sake.
Sorry if that got too personal, but it's an integral part of life with a system and has been one of the most challenging things for us to address.
We're certain that we're not the only system with those issues to deal with either, so maybe by our (tactfully) explaining how we manage might help someone?
As always, THANK YOU for what you do and dedicating your time, energy and forks.
I love to research about the human mind becouse of my own mental disorder (bipolar disorder fast cycles). Some time ago I realized that mental disorders are for the most part a survival mechanism. At least that's my take on it
@@LadyNikitaShark They are, at least DID is. We would suggest reading "The Body Keeps The Score", it's a little dry, but if there's a book that explains that really well, this is the one. The author goes into the neurological changes that trauma causes and how it affects virtually everything.
@@SADoctorNick Thank you! Agreed wholeheartedly.
I think DIDwithme touched on this topic (intimacy) a bit by telling about their experience. I don't remember in which video exactly, but their channel is could be really helpful.
I think DIDwithme touched on this topic (intimacy) a bit by telling about their experience. I don't remember in which video exactly, but their channel is could be really helpful.
a car....with (x) amount of drivers. Each driver has their own driving habits. And each person in the shotgun seat will react differently to the the driving habits of the driver. What music does the driver want? Does the driver want to talk to the navigator?, etc.
I like how deep this analogy can go! It really works for explaining system dynamics.
I was watching Surrogates the other day. The scene where Bruce Willis' character operates Rhada Mitchell's surrogate was the epiphany moment. One surrogate...(x) amount of operators swapping in and out of the stim chair.
I definitely needed this video! Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 6 months and she has DID and i dont. So seeing other peoples relationships with your system is nice and the advice is super helpful!
I hope I can get to a place with my partner where my system doesn’t see her as a threat. I feel like I am the only one that wants a relationship with her and the others are just watching and listening. But not connecting to her. So when her and I have a argument they get triggered and want to protect me and us. Especially when she talks about the system. And I know it is something I need to work on. But man is it hard. I dont know where to begin.
Please start calling us singletons from now on, that is hilarious!
Been around for a long time! Glad you like it!
I always love watching videos with Kim Kim, idk she just grabs my attention and calms me at the same time lol
I feel the same way!
We're also married and we totally relate to both how complicated it can be and how wonderful our spouse is/was about it! Things got a lot easier though when we found out our spouse was also a system ^^'
We appreciate your videos so much, all 12 of us, My name is Ruby, Garnet,Terra,Nikki,Alex, Anna, Nick,Cog, Kyanna,Emma, Jada and Bridget, we love you guys so much and appreciate your videos, I just recently told my friend about my DID and even sent him your educational videos and he essentially called me a liar,it hurt but I’m not alone I do have a partner who’s Amazing and you guys to watch when I’m feeling down, my gf has DID as well and we’re lucky to have eachother, my gf had actually fully Merged together but she understands me and we both love your content
The weird thing about disassociating a lot is having a warped sense of time like System Pride Day is happening again, already, really? I feel like that just happened like three months ago. Has it really been a full year already?
RialVestro oh my god same
Hey, I’ve recently started seeing someone who’s part of a system, and this is really helpful to know. My girlfriend (host) recommended your channel along with a few others. Thank you for this, I’ll be coming back a lot.
recently got tested for DID by request of my therapist, and watching this really helped. i've been worried about what'll happen if i am diagnosed, feeling like i'm going to be alone forever, but seeing you all have successful relationships is giving me hope
I have a close friend with DID and we don't use the term alter, we just say people, and refer to them as being multiple rather than a singleton like myself. I have a different relationship with each person, but it's definitely like we are all part of one family, because we all talk about each other with one another (not in negative ways). Most of the people within my friend's system are children, so when I'm talking with adults or older kids we share affectionate tales about what some little one said or did (either outside or inside). There is a lot of humor actually. Someone made an inside elephant and is regretting making it so anatomically accurate that it craps on everything; or somebody has been secretly eating the flying bread-and-butterflies (toasts made into butterflies as in Alice in Wonderland) and this furtive chomping is infuriating someone else. Or, as an outside example, I'm talking on the phone to a child and she tells me she can't reach her bottle of water because an adult in the system put it up on a high shelf earlier. :)
I will say, when you're close with someone with DID it can be sad that there is really never enough time to check in with everyone you would like to. I literally miss people, all the time, that I haven't talked to in days or even weeks. And I know it's hard on them too. In my friend's case I can say something like, "I told so-and-so we could talk today," and then the person who I'm currently chatting with can plan that at the end of our conversation they should perhaps get that person -- unless, say, someone else is really upset. We all try to be as considerate as we can be, and we are, but there is only so much time.
You sound like a wonderful friend and ally. I’m glad you and the people in your friend’s system share such special bonds.
This is awesome! I didnt know system pride was a thing and now i feel so happy and included
I find it funny that system pride day is on my birthday and it makes me so happy to share my birthday with such an awesome celebration.
Hello Roberto. We share the same bday!
@@mysticphoenix159 Friends
Hello. Thank everyone for saying hello. And having the courage to make your videos. Some months ago I met someone on Facebook with did. But away she's lucky. She does have some blank spots. But anyway she's lucky because she also has autism. So her memory is excellent. She is one of the nicest people's I've ever met. And I mean that with all my heart. Would you believe that she has approximately 50 deviations. She's not quite sure. But guess what. This rarely ever happens. She told me everyone loves me. I feel so blessed. She said no one's ever had the courage to talk to her about it, like I do. And she said I can see through the bull crap. And see the real person in there. And I have zero issues with coping with it. None whatsoever. She's lovely. She told me I'm the nicest person met. And the only person really who's consistently well. I love her system, it is beautiful. Because I'm lucky enough to be one of those people. Who can notice when she switched, that she has. And when she's in the right headspace. She's quite happy to talk about to me. But not all the time. Oh my god she had a absolutely tragic day yesterday. I'm not going to talk and it. But we didn't talk for as long as we normally did she couldn't go. But she did for as long as she could. Because she kept losing her voice. Sometimes I couldn't understand what she was saying. I kept telling her sweetheart please slow down. Deep breath take your time. I normally when I tell her I love her, tell her three times. As a charm, they most definitely appreciate that. She she told me she's sitting to make. She's never told anybody even her therapist. But she is my lady and I am a man. And I love her to pieces. I love you sweetheart. And again. Thank you for your wonderful videos. 🙏💜🐈♐🌠
My partner has DID, and I can't describe how crushing it is sometimes to see them disassociate, or forget parts of our life together, or have to re-explain where they are, who I am, what they've done or what their trauma was. Seeing this every day in someone is definitely both confusing and a little unsettling sometimes, and there's definitely not enough resources for family and friends of those with DID who want to genuinely believe them and help. Being in love with multiple people is also quite interesting, as even when they don't remember me sometimes they remark that they like me or think I'm pretty.... that's when I know that they're my soulmate, because even though their brain is split into different parts, across the board there's a part of them that loves me. Thank you so so so much for making this video and normalising DID and those with DID having healthy relationships! We really appreciate it 💕
You are such a beautiful system inside and out. Good examples and descriptions on singleton and DID relationships it totally makes sense. Glad to learn more about the relationships in your system. I don't have a friend with DID now but could be helpful for me in the future.
Hope Abigail is well.take care all of you.your system is so enlightening
I’m curious with all the ‘some people have an inner monologue and some don’t’ discussion. How does this work in a system? Do some of you have a minds eye and others not?
We just have extra inner monologues. Our own and whatever the other alters want to say. -Wyn
For us it's like our collective mind is a house, we can each talk out loud and others nearby will hear it, but then we each have our own personal mind and inner thoughts/monologue that no one else can hear. So I'd imagine it's possible for an individual alter to not have the inner monologue
Ok, not gunna lie, hanging with a system sounds like a fricken blast.
I know you have touched on this in other videos (specifically regarding Andrew’s relationships with various system members), so I’m glad to see a full video on this topic!
This is my first time back to the channel in a while and it's super awesome to see their face claims now. It makes it a lot easier to understand each individual in the system.
Same
If you feel comfortable, it would be great if you could talk about how the individual alters feel about physical touch. For example, if Wyn's husband were to her hand and Daniel suddenly got triggered out or became co-conscious, would this cause a problem? How do you as individuals, and a system, deal with it? Totally understandable if this isn't something you want talk about publicly! But it's something we deal with so perhaps other systems do as well.
-22 and 26
This sort of thing can be uncomfortable for some, but most of the time I think this state of being generates little ways to just move forward. Like making an excuse to move or something.
Sometimes a switch will be noticable too, so it's then easier for others to adjust and give them space until they know who it is.
We're all really close with our hosts' wife, in different ways. I see her as kind of like a sister-in-law so I'll hold her hand if she wants, especially outside, because I view her as like a little sister I'm keeping safe from creeps in public. Some of the others are affectionate but in different ways, like platonic hugging and cuddling. Some of the teenagers will tell her "please don't touch me" or we will tell her "so-and-so is nearby" and she'll know how to change her physical interactions accordingly, since she knows everyones boundaries.
The friends at the apartment analogy is fabulous! Thank you 😊
DID has been on my mind a lot recently. Just over two years ago, I started to realise a lot of symptoms that scared me. I eventually found an inner world and meet some people in my head. I also had a friend tell me that he definitely meet someone who I thought was just in my head. I had lots of periods of dissociation and forgetfulness (I can't think of a better word for it, I don't black out completely, just get very confused and forget a lot of details but have a general idea of what happened and no clear memory of not being in control). I found RUclips people like you guys by accident and started really relating to DID. I haven't been formally diagnosed because the mental health system in the UK is shocking and I have yet to see a psychologist despite being on the waiting list for 3 years.
I told my partner very briefly about it, but then had a seizure in October. Since that seizure, all my symptoms went away and I figured I had just connected the dots wrong or I was just plain old crazy, because DID or osdd doesn't just go away! Well, I've started to get that dissociation and 'forgetfulness' back again. I'm losing things again frequently, finding I've done stuff I don't remember doing, recalling specific events is becoming difficult again.
Idk, could my seizures have caused my brain to shut me out again? Or is it just really bad dissociation? Or hallucinations? I'm just not sure.
And of course I'm terrified because I told my partner about this, then it went away and now it might be coming back? I mean, I sound completely mental right? And if it does come back, I have no idea how everything is going to work and how everyone is going to feel about each other etc.
Sorry this is so long and rambling, my mind is just all over the place atm. I was just wondering if anyone has experienced anything like this? Or can give some advice on how I should go about this change, DID or not?
(BTW, don't worry, I'm getting an mri done Friday because my seizures and other symptoms like migraines and vision issues, but neurologist doesn't think there will be any wrong)
Well I know from this channel and a couple others that brains with DID are designed to protect the host personality from knowledge of the trauma. For this reason it takes people awhile to realize they even have alters. Different alters may hold different trauma that your brain has been protecting you from, hence why you may have this and not know about it. I'm not sure how the seizure would play into brain chemistry though, and you may not even have DID! But keep and open mind and be kind to yourself. You arent faking, you arent crazy, and you arent mental. Even if it is "all in your head" it is 100% valid. I would definitely continue seeking a psychologist's opinion, preferably one specializing in dissociative disorders. It will be ok! Sending love ❤
Hi there Rarr, I just wanted to say that there is something called "psychogenic non-epileptic seizure," or pseudoseizure, which I think can occur in people with severe PTSD or with OSDD/DID. If that were the case for you -- and I have no idea if it might be, or if this might be totally off-base! -- I don't know that an MRI would find anything amiss, because nothing would physically be wrong with your brain functioning the vast majority of the time. I just wanted you to know the term exists because a very close friend with DID used to experience this in the past, and we never found this term, at the time.
@@vitisvinifera2415 hey, thanks for this! I've just had my mri and eeg back and yep, everything is normal. It's a new symptom of my extreme anxiety and C-PTSD. I had no idea mental illness cause such horrific seizures, but I guess it does
My wife is pretty good with treating us all as individuals. It's taking a while for all of us to know each other but we are working on it.
thank you. definitely gonna send this video to a friend of ours; seems like no matter how many times we tell them that they don't know all of us that well so acting like they're besties with everybody makes us uncomfy, it doesn't come across. hopefully watching this will paint a clearer picture for them. i know not everybody will get it, but it is frustrating over time.
This is such an important and complicated thing. We're a system in a relationship with another system (several alters in monogamous/poly relationships with alters from the other system) and this can get really confusing 😂
I love the apartment illustration; it really helped me to understand.
This is a really good Topic my dear. Thank you so much. 😊
Our patrons are really good at picking these topics :D We never would have thought to make a video like this on our own.
I see the system as one part of the whole which makes up Wyn. Without the system, there is only part of Wyn. Alot of Wyn's likes and tastes wouldn't exist. Wyn would be one dimensional. The system adds more depth and colour. I enjoy each of you. Adds up to a beautiful individual.
I’ve kinda tried a thing with me and “the boys” were calling it “fusion” mixing myself(Dylan) and my strongest alter(Damian)into one we both get along very well and can push away the rest of em and control it to some point
I don't have did but your videos has helped me find out a little bit more about myself. You are an amazing system. Thank you for your outtro. Sometimes I just need to hear it.
You are an amazing amalgamation of many wonderful personalities sharing one body and you are each important. I don't have DID but I do suffer from my own mental and physical health issues. I have a connective tissue issue (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome), and it comes with a lot of emotions that are hard to deal with sometimes. Especially when we get abused by medical "professionals" by being called dramatic fakers. At least in my situation. I never understood the spoon and fork theory until your video, so thanks a ton for that. It's helped relationships with my family actually.
Anyways, I relate to all of you that you've introduced me to, and I appreciate your videos. Thank you for sharing your experience and engaging with us. You are helpful to people outside the DID community also. Sending all the positive vibes your way. ❤
I'm liking the new thumbnails, you guys! Super professional and so fancy 😊
I love this video subject, too! I've only heard a couple systems touch very briefly on it.
Y’all made me snort with the tv show reference. Hey hey, cute cut too.
I’ve always kinda wondered what happens if an alter just straight up dislikes a person who the rest of the system has a good relationship with. I’d like to think if the system is in good communication with each other, that person would just not front when that person is around but who knows. I feel like I remember Piñata system mentioning certain exes of Nan’s they were not all fond of, but those alters who took issue with Nan’s SO at the time might’ve had real good reasons.
This title made me think of adventure time and the song what am I to you?
This was a lovely video though! Thanks for sharing!
I'm friends with a system. I'm mainly friends with the host but I make an effort to get on with all alters I meet and I see them all as friends but the host is more like a brother so its a very different connection. All seemed to know me before I met them. At times it was odd talking to someone i knew nothing about when they knew me
Makes a callout Post bc of a typo in the title
I appreciate these videos, can’t wait to see what’s for system pride day, but I just had to call out that typo in the title while it was there
Here before the typo is fixed >:3
So glad you're making a video on this topic!
oh this is such a good video!! we're trying to get our friends and the host's partner to treat us different, but no one really listens... hopefully it'll get better! 😅 - Four
Feel free to use our videos as a resource to help them understand! -Wyn
5:06 i think my head just did the skip 1/5 seconds thing for the name.
And i was confused when "they" kept saying wren/like theyre not her.
=confused.
/then i noticed=either i didnt know if i could tell if it was her or some1 else?,
then stopped/thought of this comment/realised.
=i need to rewatch the biggening and see whats happening.
=groups find out they just 1 second in a video/later,after you see some1 has something new in a video/but dont know how they got it?...
Kinda curious about the TV show memory sharing thing... Is that a conscious choice and can you choose not to (to get individual first experiences of watching things), or is it more like it instinctively bypasses the amnesia between some of you (or is it somewhere in between)?
We’ve lowered memory loss enough that it just happens naturally! :) -Wyn
Question for Wynn specifically (although trigger warning, this contains the topic of murder so if anyone else is more comfortable with fronting, please go ahead).
I've watched your related videos about DID portrayal in the media (mostly movies) and it has me curious about your personal perspective. When writing a fictional book about a character with DID, is it really not okay to make an alter who is both protector and persecutor a murderer even if:
1. The novel is informative and accurate about the cause and symptoms of the disorder, calls it by the correct name and features another character who has a normal life and family and informs the main character that alters aren't normally violent towards other people.
2. The violence in the book is mostly to save someone (the host and her partner) and
3. The people who get murdered are bad people who have murdered others and will continue to murder others if they continue to live.
Im excited for system pride day!!
What if the majority of the head mates don't accept, like or tolerate your life partn er and act upon their feelings? What if they find a way to spoil the relation?
Can I post with the # if I don't have DID but just wanna support?
Of course! The more people spreading awareness the better :D -Wyn
Glad to hear Wyn’s family is supportive and still in the picture. Understanding family members can make all the difference
Amnesia/ denial when it comes to inner World? Annyone?
When you most of the time are friends or at least have a good Time with them so most of the alters i know with the systems i know are friends 👁️👄👁️
Have you ever switched when you were in the middle of driving a car and if so was it scary
A singleton 😂 yes. That’s what I am, Kim Kim 😂😂
0:36 =i didnt see her say it,i dont remember it.
I've kind of been struggling with this recently, cause I have OSDD and my alters aren't super distinct though there are differences. My husband seems to have trouble navigating the different types of relationships and might accidentally hug our Nora who hates physical contact or something. He also insists that he's married to all of us, which is kind of understandable but also a weird concept and I don't really know how to try explain the different relationship types without hurting his feelings :/
Maybe when he says he’s married to you all that’s his way of saying he’s committed to loving you all :) be up front about how you want that love to manifest with each alter, but also be patients Nora is clearly different than you but you share a body so it can be confusing to an outsider. He might need time and understanding as he tries to remember everyone’s preferences.
@@TheEntropySystem Thanks for replying! I am trying to find a line between being understanding but also straightforward about what everyone needs. I know it's new for both of us. Thanks for your reply!
~Leith
Question:
Is there an inner world way that you share memories? I imagine one alter putting a letter in another’s mailbox in the apartment building or something. 😋 or is it just like, “boom. Now you know.”
Im sorry for this stupid question I have but who counts the sheep when the body goes or tries to go to sleep?
Oh ye, wanted to say to Wyn love your sakura cardcaptor figurines and merch. I wished I had them, I keep staring at them...
I am singleton, I admire this channel and all the channels to break free of the stigma. Never met someone with DID so these videos gave me great insight, im not a psychology student or anything just someone who became interested when I heard that many people can reside in one body thanks to this sloppy electrical piece of meat we call brain. Also I hope I didnt offend anybody, im still learning.
I’m confused & understand stuff
When I saw the title of this video, I expected it to be about the parasocial relationship between y'all and us viewers, heh.
What if an alter fronts that you’ve never met before? Say I met the host and to my knowledge they’ve been at the front when the system has been around me. Would it be possible that an alter could front w/out a singletons knowledge one time, and then front later around the same person and introduce themselves? This has raised sooooo many questions for me I’m sorry if that didn’t make sense
If only it was that simple. Does Andrew not get along with any of the main fronters? My partner is a system of 13 and some I get along with really well, others I don't. Any advice?
Get to know those who want to know you, you're not going to be best friends with everyone, but try to find one thing in each one you appreciate. That really helps me when I am with outside people in a group on a long term basis. Finding one thing I like about each person who is in the group with me.
@@peaceofapuzzlebfg update. The alter I'm referring to used to be quite full on but has since shifted, (and I'll use their inner world anime glow versions here,) a little less Vegeta (from DBZ) and more Suigetsu (from Naruto). "Woman, you may prove yourself useful after all..." I believe was his most recent opinion of me. 🤭 he also has sent pictures of explosions to me in place of hearts (like the rest of them do) his version of being sweet I guess.
I have a question for you :
People with OCD can have different themes of their obsessions which help them cope with their anxiety, this can cause them to develop obsessions with eating or cleaning etc even symptoms of DID. Almost mirroring the disorder.. What's your thoughts on this? How does that make you feel?
You can in fact have OCD and still be a system. Cause more often than not these symtoms and dissorders and other health issues can be comorbid. BECAUSE there are so manny diffrent people with so manny diffrent Traumas and unique ways to cope in one body.
That s why Most Systems get there "fair " share of "wrong" diagnoses bevor they get the diagnoses that explains it all wich is DID.
Some of the Most commen "mis" diagnoses are:
BPD (borderline), OCD, ADHD Shizophrenia, only PTSD, BIpolar, Major Depression or rezidive Depression, Agxetiety
and Panik -disorder.
- the Metamorph Mannschaft
I'm curious how you/Andrew refer to alters to people who don't know about the DID? E.g., "my friend Karen likes such-and-such" or are you open about DID in everyday life?
I've been struggling with a similar question since most of my relationships aren't mainstream/normal/whatever :P
Most of the time I either say I did it or I just don’t talk to people about it at all haha -Kim Kim
Good video but you misspelled "Disorder" in the title - can you change it without reuploading?
Sim
1:01 is what i remember seeing 1st after the showing all the people.
This is sort of normal for when wat hing nazi zombies=i dont know how they have a gun./didnt see them buy it.
re: 16 year gap...similar to being in a coma?
There's a video on it called "I was gone for 16 yrs"
Here's a link! We'll add one in the video as well ruclips.net/video/6j1Zco4EDX4/видео.html
Cheers. Ever since my partner understood she is a system, I've been binge watching channels to educate myself and educate myself.
Completely off topic, but hey Kim Kim, I want to add you as a friend on my switch so we can trade Pokemon. Would you be up for that? I don't have access to my friend code right now or I'd post it.
This is some serious confusion. I pray that you get the healing and deliverance that you need. No one should live like this.
You’re the one who’s confused. Take your ignorant bs somewhere else or better yet do some research. This is an actual medical/psychological condition. Systems usually exist to protect their host from intense trauma. Your hate is the last thing they need
What is System Pride??
It’s a day for people with DID and OSDD to be proud of who they are. Society wants us to be ashamed for being different, but becoming a system is how we survived trauma and so our systems should be celebrated! If you check out the website link in the description you can learn more :)
@@TheEntropySystem ...I don't know how I feel about that. Like for example, "Depression Pride", "Borderline Personality Disorder Pride"... the word "pride" doesn't seem fitting here. "Awareness" would make sense. I have schizoaffective disorder. I don't want a Pride day. I'm not proud of having a serious mental illness. I loathe it. It disrupts my everyday life and has taken so very much from me. If someone told me of a "Schizoaffective Pride" day to celebrate my illness I would feel invalidated and frankly, offended.
I get "Gay Pride". Being gay doesn't leave you broken and debilitated. Being gay isn't a mental disease. Being gay doesn't require medication and therapy. Being gay is simply loving who you love. Which is a thing to be proud of.
I mean, what if instead of "Breast Cancer Awareness Month" we had "Breast Cancer Pride Day"? That just sounds ridiculous. Maybe "Survivor Day" would work, but not "Pride".
People shouldn't romanticize or glamorize mental illness. More and more young people are self diagnosing themselves with serious mental disorders, because they are desperate to find an identity and sense of self. They want somewhere to "belong". They want to be part of a community that accepts them, flaws and all. I believe most of these people genuinely believe they have said illness. But this whole perpetration of "self diagnosis is valid" is VERY dangerous. Kids are going to hear voices in their heads and be like, "these are alters talking, I have DID!" when in reality they are developing schizophrenia and not seeking a professional diagnosis could literally ruin their lives. They could miss out on getting proper medical care and medication and suffer a full blown psychotic break.
this comment has nothing to do with the video, but i would love to send you a box of snacks from England so you guys could do a reaction video. would you think thats a good idea?
That’d be awesome! Please keep in mind that we have a gluten intolerance when picking the snacks, though :) -Kim Kim
Huh cool
2:02 this is confuseing,i still want to still date L,the mage system,
but a guy.
Cognitive dissonance.
This is probably not the right way to see things but I kind of see DID as like internal conjoined twins. Like you share the same body or parts of the same body and you're tethered to the same life experiences with different perspectives but you're all separate people.
To be honest you seem to be making a mockery of actual mental disorders. The way you just switched between all your contrived personalities in the intro is so disingenuous and is not how dissociative identity disorder works. This definitely seems like “look I’m special”.
I so miss this channel :{
Good news, we’re back and posting new content at least once a month! 🤍🧡🖤 -Wyn