You are a wonderful human. It is so, so rare to see a grown man who is mature and dedicating his life to heal the seriously horrific abuse little boys experience and are taught to be an island and reject reality. Bless you Jason!
My favourite and most profound thing I learned in about 150 out of the 200 podcasts I have been listening to is SC71 & SC72 - Distancer / Pursuer Relationship
I can assure you your partner does not feel safe or he would talk with you . He feels you will get mad or upset at what he has to say .Your either very defensive or also insecure
He wants space and emotionally shuts down to protect himself and BOTH of you for the sake of the relationship. He doesn't want to open the door and u come running in with insults and harassment. The thought of it is even overwhelming.
very insightful. ive noticed the guys i was really into were the ones who seem to keep everything so close within. if they released, it was probably a little late .
My partner has some underlying emotional shutdown issues, and commitment fear he has acknowledged to a degree. He said he would start reading your book, and was open, but then today he said he got two pages in and that he changed his mind and wont read it and that the book is “stupid”. This is behaviours he has towards many things, he acts open then he shuts down and I am not sure how to respond to it. Also it makes me feel completely hopeless and less and less positive about our relationship
Ouch, I am sorry about this situation! I think you guys need a relationship coach! Feel free to check this link, relationshipschool.com/myrelationshipcoach in the meantime, please stay strong! 🙏🏼
My 2 cents, ask the right questions. Remember that a description of emotions is about owning how oneself feels. If I was in his position the way to open me up emotional is to validate and ask for clarification. Steer his judgements away. Non violent communication is a really helpful method for getting men to open up.
Iam divorced over 4 years ...and I still listen to all this stuff ..I've have a obsession.....Iam pretty sad .hey ...I can't resist ...Iam diffently..a love addict.....33 years off obsession...how iam obsessive about ... .relational program's...
Hey Jayson, I appreciate your videos a ton. In this one, I specifically listened to it because of the title. But didn't quite find the answer to it??? I am actually interested in how to do with a partner that is shut down... You answered many questions but not this specific one... Unless it was when you advised to directly ask the partner what helps when they are in distress? Like the hug, or validation or something to say... Was this the answer? I'd really like more to this question...
Does anyone know of a support group for living or dealing with a partner who is emotionally avoidant and has a strong tendency to Stonewall Gaslight project and victim blame
Women emotionally shut down all the time society refuses to acknowledge.. even this guy doesn't really want to talk it.. its not always the men that shut down
Hiw ate u suopose to get to tbe point of bid g able to have a healthy intimate relationship when the emotionally unavailable mans doesn't allkw u to be secure enough to comfortably be in a space to find this healthy attachment? So frustrated
title relevant content starts at about 7:35 just FYI ^_^
Jessica
Thanks
Jessica I was wondering when his pointless jabber was gonna stop like I literally got annoyed
Thank u
thanks that was ridicules
lol, thank you
You are a wonderful human. It is so, so rare to see a grown man who is mature and dedicating his life to heal the seriously horrific abuse little boys experience and are taught to be an island and reject reality. Bless you Jason!
🙏🏼
My favourite and most profound thing I learned in about 150 out of the 200 podcasts I have been listening to is SC71 & SC72 - Distancer / Pursuer Relationship
Grateful for this, too many coaches preaching taking responsibility but not lovingly inviting your partner to d the same.
It’s my trauma if I feel like I’m unheard i litterally go silent and good luck with me opening up bcuz you dismissed me when I tried
my partner stone walls - how can I listen when he doesn't speak?
I can assure you your partner does not feel safe or he would talk with you . He feels you will get mad or upset at what he has to say .Your either very defensive or also insecure
He wants space and emotionally shuts down to protect himself and BOTH of you for the sake of the relationship. He doesn't want to open the door and u come running in with insults and harassment. The thought of it is even overwhelming.
sorry to hear that!
Sounds like Mommy issues, he confuses you with his Mother, doesn't see you as a real person.
very insightful. ive noticed the guys i was really into were the ones who seem to keep everything so close within. if they released, it was probably a little late .
My partner has some underlying emotional shutdown issues, and commitment fear he has acknowledged to a degree. He said he would start reading your book, and was open, but then today he said he got two pages in and that he changed his mind and wont read it and that the book is “stupid”. This is behaviours he has towards many things, he acts open then he shuts down and I am not sure how to respond to it. Also it makes me feel completely hopeless and less and less positive about our relationship
Ouch, I am sorry about this situation! I think you guys need a relationship coach! Feel free to check this link, relationshipschool.com/myrelationshipcoach in the meantime, please stay strong! 🙏🏼
My 2 cents, ask the right questions. Remember that a description of emotions is about owning how oneself feels. If I was in his position the way to open me up emotional is to validate and ask for clarification. Steer his judgements away. Non violent communication is a really helpful method for getting men to open up.
Shutting down can also be a coping mechanism to prevent yourself from angrily lashing out towards who is talking to you.
Thanks for your feedback
I love this Q&A format! Quite a few answers you gave were helpful to me.
Great! So helpful. Thank you.
you're welcome
Iam divorced over 4 years ...and I still listen to all this stuff ..I've have a obsession.....Iam pretty sad .hey ...I can't resist ...Iam diffently..a love addict.....33 years off obsession...how iam obsessive about ...
.relational program's...
This is awesome, thank you!
You are welcome!
This is gold
Hey Jayson, I appreciate your videos a ton. In this one, I specifically listened to it because of the title. But didn't quite find the answer to it??? I am actually interested in how to do with a partner that is shut down... You answered many questions but not this specific one... Unless it was when you advised to directly ask the partner what helps when they are in distress? Like the hug, or validation or something to say... Was this the answer? I'd really like more to this question...
Ana Sofia Ferrara
I believe it is the portion around 11 minutes in
Does anyone know of a support group for living or dealing with a partner who is emotionally avoidant and has a strong tendency to Stonewall Gaslight project and victim blame
Get more support: www.jaysongaddis.com/coaching-questionnaire/
Women emotionally shut down all the time society refuses to acknowledge.. even this guy doesn't really want to talk it.. its not always the men that shut down
very true.
@@JaysonGaddis I always end up with women who emotionally act like men
right, so what is your part, what do you act like? and what can you do about it?
I agree with you, coming from a female who need space for a week a month
Hiw ate u suopose to get to tbe point of bid g able to have a healthy intimate relationship when the emotionally unavailable mans doesn't allkw u to be secure enough to comfortably be in a space to find this healthy attachment? So frustrated
I know what you mean
Ask her why she’s emotional Lee available she shuts down and anxiety but the next day everything is OK. Why
good question. she would have to know herself to be able to respond. lots of folks don't know why