You need to stop READING my family for filth. Your channel is a god sent. Before this channel I thought I was crazy. I have a dark family. So much that I moved away to England and stayed away for 14 years! Away from them I felt free and at peace.
Tamara, YOU NEVER MISS!!!🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 I had to cut off a dark empath COMPLETELY. She tells people I’m a narcissist, yet she has made many attempts to come near me, the narcissist!🤷🏻♀️EVERYTHING you called out, she DOES. Poor thing, she’s too predictable and toxic.
oh my, my dark empath sister just called me one too in front of my family and I'm clearly the scapegoat, it sucks because she's the oldest and their word always counts and it's funny because I'm the main one who will always help her within a heartbeat. She's demonised,
It's seems the medical, educational, religious systems are riddled with these individuals they tend to target spaces where people who are vulnerable... also where they received praise for the public association with what seems to be good deeds...
You're forgetting the most populated profession. Law enforcement! My family is extremely religious. My mother Is a very active in volunteering in mental health and addiction, yet encourages these problems for me. My sister is high up in law enforcement/social services, yet victim blames and refuses to help me with DV.
Consider this. A deeply empathetic person becomes a social worker. As Empaths they absorb and take on all the emotions of the traumatized people they deal with every working day. How long will that person last before having a breakdown? Days? Weeks? Months? How does that serve the people they are working to help? How will that social worker face off against the abusers if they are constantly mirroring the fear of the victims? When you go to a professional of any stripe you pay these people to keep their emotional considerations separate from the issue you are paying for them to deal with right? So who would you want fighting against Dark Triad abusers? An Empath or a Dark Empath?
"Machiavellianism" Wow! I am 62 and have never heard this term before. TY for teaching! It helped me understand a recent friend's discussion where she was completely detached from emotion and said, "I read back my text messages and they seemed a tad strong so I am going to apologize in case they were too hard on you." I said, "That doesn't sound like an ap0logy. You're saying all the words but I don't feel your heart or your hearts intention when speaking. In the end after a long phone conversation, I chose to leave the situation and the friendship as it felt so cold and detached. Ty for sharing this term and its meaning.
You're welcome!! I'm glad this was helpful. My video tomorrow talks about the "dark core" of the dark empath. The "dark core" is exactly what you point out here -- there is no emotion.
Great note. It may be worth noting that the meaning of "Machiavellianism" within the Psychiatric community is not consistent with what Niccolo Machiavelli was actually proposing in his (in)famous tract called IL PRINCIPE (THE PRINCE). I'll explain it if you wish. But otherwise, I'll do you the courtesy, and refrain. If you do want to really understand the concept, Google this "Consequentialism" ... that's what it's about. It's not about doing Evil for kicks. Not even close. ~TD, Boston
Machiavellianism, narcissism and psychopathy are the so-called dark triad. Dark empaths, they absolutely understand how the other person feels and that they need support and help, so they are cognitively very aware, but their emotional response is absolutely weird and unhealthy, because they absolutely do not care how they can help you and do not want to help or facilitate or sooth (and if they show intention to sooth you, they lie) your emotional pain and suffering that you are going through for whatever reason, but they don't want to help even though they really can. They will absolutely never be authentic in their emotional response. Cognitively, they understand everything and can explain it, and in the end they will deliberately impose their quasi-solution in the worst way, which is not really a solution, much less help and support. They enjoy being better off in every way, no matter how much the sibling suffers. Btw. I really enjoy listening to Tamara Hill. She explains everything very well, in detail and very vividly..
My family is COLD as ICE. They are capable of some BREATHTAKING stuff. It took me awhile to realize that a lot of this stuff is intentional. Hard to believe but better to accept reality and move on.
The dark empaths are just shadows of the person they're supposed to be. That's a real problem. This is not a healthy relationship, it's a battle. No time to waste on fake people
I also have a close friend who’s like this - she gets information from people and acts caring but she uses information against you. She’s also knowingly cheating with a married man and seems to think it’s funny that the wife doesn’t know what’s going on. I’m trying to pull away from her, she’s weird.
Those who don't like this topic as it hits too close to home and they don't want to face it! This is the first time I'm hearing from you and understanding dark empathy I've seen it before but I have not totally understand it and you explained it perfectly! Thank you
I dodged a bullet with a dark empath who's a former legendary entertainer turned role model consultant by letting him know that my time and money is just as precious as his. I'm growing more and more less guilty about setting boundaries.
This is my sister through and through. She’s ruined my closest relationships because I stuck up to her once, and I’ve paid for it ever since. She works in a helping profession and acts so caring toward everyone else, so everyone thinks she’s amazing. She’s one of the cruelest people I’ve met - they just haven’t been on the receiving end. She has also killed animals before - she’s in a role where she can. She also collects animals and then has a favourite and one she hates - and the one she hates will be abused to all hell and neglected. My family took multiple animals in of hers - and she still ten years later plays victim when they died. But she abandoned them! My mother is also the same as Sammy’s - she took my dad’s misgivings out against me.
I had a grandmother who always talked down on psychology, and that always seemed off, because she was always playing mind games. She was the type that had everyone fooled, because she was very attractive and very gregarious. She always used big words then explained what they mean, like you were her student eventhough you understood. She used to love to get me alone and ask provoking questions, like " If you had a choice to be born, would you?" The same woman had me thrown in a hospital just for fun. I was let out in less than a week because they didn't think I needed to be there. But she was so chuffed with herself behind that.
Saying we all have light and dark sides is like said we all get angry and say mean things at times in regards to abusers. Ratrionalizing, justifying, minimizing, invalidating, etc is so common and socially accepted in society that almost everyone does it subconsciously. Myself included. Our cultural is truly toxic.
I love your videos.isn’t dark empath just a narcissist. Dark and empath seems like a dichotomy to me. An empath that is toxic is only an unhealed empath
I live this with my husband. I thought it was just narcissism until I read about dark empaths and everything fit. He fits it perfectly and it feels so evil.
Can there also be an age impact to this? You're describing my paternal grandfather to a T. I spent 3 weeks in the hospital with him because he's too stubborn to go into a home. He felt like he was entitled to my time and sacrifices. He donates a lot to charity, his church members look up to him, and he charms the crap out of his nurses, but he literally smiles when family members come to him for help/favors. Like he gets off on hearing the sob stories.
Evil is evil regardless of what they are psychologically class as....They always come bearing gifts and smiling ..There's good people in this world but there's also some very evil manipulative people ..Sadly being Intuitive is a curse as you see the real world. The human condition is very confusing
Who do you think actually fights the evil people in this world? Empaths? Think again. No one runs from a battle faster than an empath and if they don't they are often Pocket Chamberlains who are willing to sacrifice other people's peace and security for their own peace of mind. All that glitters is not gold. Fact.
I might be a little. I think it's because I grew up with a lot of them and a result of fighting for my autonomy. I've been told I seem 'unconquorable' and a tough nut to crack. I will be as fake as necessary to protect myself and my peace.
That's an interesting concept. I'm not sure you want to call yourself a dark empath. What if you were just doing what over 1 million people in the world do to get along to get along, to make a living, to survive the chaos, and still be liked? I think society has a MAJOR problem with authenticity and so most people use what they know gets them ahead, protects them, and keeps defenses in place ... "fakeness." I think it's fair to keep in mind that survival may look very similar to a dark empath. The only difference is that survival tactics may change over time , whereas the dark empathy doesn't. Just some food for thought!
My partner was friends with a girl (she was an ex situationship of sorts but they remained friends) and there was something awful about her. She always would say she was an "empath" but was always the person looking for trouble and you couldn't disagree with her on anything without her exploding. Eventually my partner came to the conclusion on his own that she was trying to meddle in the relationship and steal him away from me. She nearly ended the relationship with her actions, attitude and behavior. What made me the most frustrated was how she was able to go under the radar from my partner and she was able to bamboolze him for money, errands etc. For so long. I met her in person once or twice and that was enough for my spider senses to go off and stay the hell away. Why do some people seem more "gullible" with these types vs. Others?
I am 58 and I have never heard of "dark empath". I am trying to pinpoint my Mother and her lack of empathy? I cannot figure out who she is? I actually cannot believe some of the things she says? They are so mean and cruel and indifferent with ZERO empathy? These people are in our families, we work with them, and we don't even know who these people are? knowledge is power.
Knowledge is power. Agree. My mom is 63 and does not know what a dark empath is. It's a "newish" term and possibly a term only discussed amongst professionals and those who have followed some of the professionals in psychology online. We truly need to talk more about this personality type.
I have a question. Who is the more "moral" person. The person who does what is right because they feel inherently compelled to care or the person who does not care but does what is right anyway?
Oh, FYI..... these ganged up family members that are the stalkers, sure can dish it out..for years and years and years. ..... but they can't take one nasty response to the crap they say and do , at all. One or two nasty responses, and whammmo. Boom. The torture is ON....
It sounds like dark empath is a regular sociopath or psychopath. They all are narcissistic, have cold empathy, have criminal mindset, and the rest of the components of dark triad (sadistic, , machivelian, antisocial). In short its a malignat narcissist thats able turn on a facade of empathy a lil more than a regular narcissist.
Can you elaborate on the diference between a narc and a depressed person , both have very dark thoughts yet one is from the condition with no pleasure involved while the narc finds energy from it .
If I got it right, dark empath is a narcissist with machiavellian qualities / traits (they are manipulative) and psychopath qualities (they are calculating and with very little remorse), and sometimes they are also sadistic (like to cause pain), and may come around as empathic. A borderline person is described as having empathy, but they are more about self-loathing, and maybe their pain can make them revengeful and insensitive toward the pain of others. But maybe they won't t0rt*re animals, have their version of remorse, shouldn't be really a big dark-empath type. Everybody describes it so different. Borderline person, charming fragile narcissist, charming dark empath - they are my death traps. If they can attract and captivate, then say that one of my actions or inactions (double-binding) hurt them and play a victim card - this is another heartbreak. I can't distinct things, if someone shows they are in pain - makes u feel like u hurt them. Thank you for explaining this topic
What is the percentage of dark empaths in the whole human population? Are they common to run into? How do you handle someone like this, in a safe way? What are the early signs of one? Sorry for all of the questions.
That's so hard @sm8155. To know the core of your parent and yet, the world has no idea. I've had clients in this situation as well. Can be very discouraging.
@@TherapistTamaraHill mom is the same way, but a minister. They're both total phonies but dad is way more sadistic. And yes it's hard to watch them be community leaders and civil rights activists and have all these people put them on a pedestal while I know the truth but I'm the family scapegoat and no one would possibly believe me if I told them what's gone on with my parents
@@lightinczproductions2195 he worked for 35 years at a public inpatient state hospital. Clients too incapacitated to complain or be believed about anything. Had several sexual harassment complaints, but working for the state during the 80s and 90s he wasn't going to get fired for that. As I've woken up to how sick he is I've wondered how many lives he ruined without anyone knowing. He's retired now and has to be satisfied with only tormenting family members
It should be changed. I agree! I must admit I have no clinical data on where this term came from. I will be doing the research and will bring it back to the channel.
They might choose to do so, yes, especially if acting like you would benefit them in some way. A dark empath may begin to behave like the sweet older lady down the street if it will give her favor with the other neighbors.
RUclips will make the live chat box available within 12 hours of this live posting. That's the GOOD part! ;)
Alright thanks for the heads up in letting us know.
Tamara you are amazing. You are beautiful and very attractive, and I love your hair, full of body.
🤗Thank you!! Appreciate that.
You're welcome. @@TherapistTamaraHill
🤗@@TherapistTamaraHill
You need to stop READING my family for filth. Your channel is a god sent. Before this channel I thought I was crazy. I have a dark family. So much that I moved away to England and stayed away for 14 years! Away from them I felt free and at peace.
🤭🤭
I'm glad this was helpful! It's a relief when you find a "home" on RUclips.
Same, I escaped to The Netherlands 😅 8 years now…
Tamara, YOU NEVER MISS!!!🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 I had to cut off a dark empath COMPLETELY. She tells people I’m a narcissist, yet she has made many attempts to come near me, the narcissist!🤷🏻♀️EVERYTHING you called out, she DOES. Poor thing, she’s too predictable and toxic.
oh my, my dark empath sister just called me one too in front of my family and I'm clearly the scapegoat, it sucks because she's the oldest and their word always counts and it's funny because I'm the main one who will always help her within a heartbeat. She's demonised,
It's seems the medical, educational, religious systems are riddled with these individuals they tend to target spaces where people who are vulnerable... also where they received praise for the public association with what seems to be good deeds...
You're forgetting the most populated profession. Law enforcement!
My family is extremely religious. My mother Is a very active in volunteering in mental health and addiction, yet encourages these problems for me. My sister is high up in law enforcement/social services, yet victim blames and refuses to help me with DV.
Consider this. A deeply empathetic person becomes a social worker. As Empaths they absorb and take on all the emotions of the traumatized people they deal with every working day. How long will that person last before having a breakdown? Days? Weeks? Months? How does that serve the people they are working to help? How will that social worker face off against the abusers if they are constantly mirroring the fear of the victims? When you go to a professional of any stripe you pay these people to keep their emotional considerations separate from the issue you are paying for them to deal with right? So who would you want fighting against Dark Triad abusers? An Empath or a Dark Empath?
Knowledge is power and you are giving people their power back with your knowledge ♥️
It really is power!! And thank you, that is the goal.
"Machiavellianism" Wow! I am 62 and have never heard this term before. TY for teaching! It helped me understand a recent friend's discussion where she was completely detached from emotion and said, "I read back my text messages and they seemed a tad strong so I am going to apologize in case they were too hard on you." I said, "That doesn't sound like an ap0logy. You're saying all the words but I don't feel your heart or your hearts intention when speaking. In the end after a long phone conversation, I chose to leave the situation and the friendship as it felt so cold and detached. Ty for sharing this term and its meaning.
You're welcome!! I'm glad this was helpful. My video tomorrow talks about the "dark core" of the dark empath. The "dark core" is exactly what you point out here -- there is no emotion.
Great note. It may be worth noting that the meaning of "Machiavellianism" within the Psychiatric community is not consistent with what Niccolo Machiavelli was actually proposing in his (in)famous tract called IL PRINCIPE (THE PRINCE).
I'll explain it if you wish. But otherwise, I'll do you the courtesy, and refrain. If you do want to really understand the concept, Google this "Consequentialism" ... that's what it's about. It's not about doing Evil for kicks. Not even close.
~TD, Boston
Machiavellianism, narcissism and psychopathy are the so-called dark triad. Dark empaths, they absolutely understand how the other person feels and that they need support and help, so they are cognitively very aware, but their emotional response is absolutely weird and unhealthy, because they absolutely do not care how they can help you and do not want to help or facilitate or sooth (and if they show intention to sooth you, they lie) your emotional pain and suffering that you are going through for whatever reason, but they don't want to help even though they really can. They will absolutely never be authentic in their emotional response. Cognitively, they understand everything and can explain it, and in the end they will deliberately impose their quasi-solution in the worst way, which is not really a solution, much less help and support. They enjoy being better off in every way, no matter how much the sibling suffers. Btw. I really enjoy listening to Tamara Hill. She explains everything very well, in detail and very vividly..
My family is COLD as ICE. They are capable of some BREATHTAKING stuff. It took me awhile to realize that a lot of this stuff is intentional. Hard to believe but better to accept reality and move on.
The dark empaths are just shadows of the person they're supposed to be. That's a real problem. This is not a healthy relationship, it's a battle. No time to waste on fake people
Came out of a relationship with one….all I can say is traumatized.
I also have a close friend who’s like this - she gets information from people and acts caring but she uses information against you. She’s also knowingly cheating with a married man and seems to think it’s funny that the wife doesn’t know what’s going on. I’m trying to pull away from her, she’s weird.
I am really enjoying and appreciating your content.
I appreciate that! Thank you. Glad this is helpful to you!!
Those who don't like this topic as it hits too close to home and they don't want to face it! This is the first time I'm hearing from you and understanding dark empathy I've seen it before but I have not totally understand it and you explained it perfectly! Thank you
I dodged a bullet with a dark empath who's a former legendary entertainer turned role model consultant by letting him know that my time and money is just as precious as his. I'm growing more and more less guilty about setting boundaries.
We need more therapists like these online etc
Thank you!!
I agree. I shared your page with a therapist.
Thank you @neithodges8313! That's so kind.
This is my sister through and through. She’s ruined my closest relationships because I stuck up to her once, and I’ve paid for it ever since. She works in a helping profession and acts so caring toward everyone else, so everyone thinks she’s amazing. She’s one of the cruelest people I’ve met - they just haven’t been on the receiving end. She has also killed animals before - she’s in a role where she can. She also collects animals and then has a favourite and one she hates - and the one she hates will be abused to all hell and neglected. My family took multiple animals in of hers - and she still ten years later plays victim when they died. But she abandoned them!
My mother is also the same as Sammy’s - she took my dad’s misgivings out against me.
Sounds more like a Sociopath than a Dark Empath. The devil is always in the detail.
I had a grandmother who always talked down on psychology, and that always seemed off, because she was always playing mind games.
She was the type that had everyone fooled, because she was very attractive and very gregarious. She always used big words then explained what they mean, like you were her student eventhough you understood.
She used to love to get me alone and ask provoking questions, like " If you had a choice to be born, would you?"
The same woman had me thrown in a hospital just for fun. I was let out in less than a week because they didn't think I needed to be there.
But she was so chuffed with herself behind that.
Saying we all have light and dark sides is like said we all get angry and say mean things at times in regards to abusers. Ratrionalizing, justifying, minimizing, invalidating, etc is so common and socially accepted in society that almost everyone does it subconsciously. Myself included. Our cultural is truly toxic.
You Are An Super Woman! Thanks for SAVING LIFE'S. You are Very Insightful, Protecting People Life's. Minister Joyce Lynn Pledger! ❤
Amen! Thank you. I receive that. 🙏❤
By the way, I have not forgotten about you. I just saw your email the other day. Forgive my slow response!
I love your videos.isn’t dark empath just a narcissist. Dark and empath seems like a dichotomy to me. An empath that is toxic is only an unhealed empath
I live this with my husband. I thought it was just narcissism until I read about dark empaths and everything fit. He fits it perfectly and it feels so evil.
Can there also be an age impact to this? You're describing my paternal grandfather to a T. I spent 3 weeks in the hospital with him because he's too stubborn to go into a home. He felt like he was entitled to my time and sacrifices. He donates a lot to charity, his church members look up to him, and he charms the crap out of his nurses, but he literally smiles when family members come to him for help/favors. Like he gets off on hearing the sob stories.
Evil is evil regardless of what they are psychologically class as....They always come bearing gifts and smiling ..There's good people in this world but there's also some very evil manipulative people ..Sadly being Intuitive is a curse as you see the real world.
The human condition is very confusing
Who do you think actually fights the evil people in this world? Empaths? Think again. No one runs from a battle faster than an empath and if they don't they are often Pocket Chamberlains who are willing to sacrifice other people's peace and security for their own peace of mind. All that glitters is not gold. Fact.
If you lived this you're in tears
It's been a while since I've seen one of your videos!
Glad you're back! I remember your screen name. 😊
Thank you love your show and information giving me
You are so welcome!!
I might be a little. I think it's because I grew up with a lot of them and a result of fighting for my autonomy. I've been told I seem 'unconquorable' and a tough nut to crack. I will be as fake as necessary to protect myself and my peace.
I totally understand what you mean, fully for everything you had said here.
That's an interesting concept. I'm not sure you want to call yourself a dark empath. What if you were just doing what over 1 million people in the world do to get along to get along, to make a living, to survive the chaos, and still be liked? I think society has a MAJOR problem with authenticity and so most people use what they know gets them ahead, protects them, and keeps defenses in place ... "fakeness."
I think it's fair to keep in mind that survival may look very similar to a dark empath. The only difference is that survival tactics may change over time , whereas the dark empathy doesn't.
Just some food for thought!
My partner was friends with a girl (she was an ex situationship of sorts but they remained friends) and there was something awful about her. She always would say she was an "empath" but was always the person looking for trouble and you couldn't disagree with her on anything without her exploding. Eventually my partner came to the conclusion on his own that she was trying to meddle in the relationship and steal him away from me. She nearly ended the relationship with her actions, attitude and behavior. What made me the most frustrated was how she was able to go under the radar from my partner and she was able to bamboolze him for money, errands etc. For so long. I met her in person once or twice and that was enough for my spider senses to go off and stay the hell away. Why do some people seem more "gullible" with these types vs. Others?
How should we handle dark empathy in the family?
Omg absolutely, my stalker was a dark empath!!
I am 58 and I have never heard of "dark empath". I am trying to pinpoint my Mother and her lack of empathy? I cannot figure out who she is? I actually cannot believe some of the things she says? They are so mean and cruel and indifferent with ZERO empathy? These people are in our families, we work with them, and we don't even know who these people are? knowledge is power.
Knowledge is power. Agree. My mom is 63 and does not know what a dark empath is. It's a "newish" term and possibly a term only discussed amongst professionals and those who have followed some of the professionals in psychology online. We truly need to talk more about this personality type.
dark empath actually does make sense
There are some universities and colleges professors who demonstrate dark empathetic behavior! I have met a few Whew 😥
I think my ex is a dark empath. My son was tricked, trapped, and defeated and ended his life. I was tricked.
You really have to be careful…it’s like wicked some of these people are the good ones but get that label. They need to do the research etc
I’m going through this right now
Its a passive aggressive covert malignant narcissist. There is a book that has this title by Debbie Mirza.
Thank you for sharing that!! I will check it out.
❤
I have a question. Who is the more "moral" person. The person who does what is right because they feel inherently compelled to care or the person who does not care but does what is right anyway?
Oh, FYI..... these ganged up family members that are the stalkers, sure can dish it out..for years and years and years. ..... but they can't take one nasty response to the crap they say and do , at all. One or two nasty responses, and whammmo. Boom. The torture is ON....
Awesomeness🎉❤
Thanks 🤗
It sounds like dark empath is a regular sociopath or psychopath. They all are narcissistic, have cold empathy, have criminal mindset, and the rest of the components of dark triad (sadistic, , machivelian, antisocial). In short its a malignat narcissist thats able turn on a facade of empathy a lil more than a regular narcissist.
Can you elaborate on the diference between a narc and a depressed person , both have very dark thoughts yet one is from the condition with no pleasure involved while the narc finds energy from it .
If I got it right, dark empath is a narcissist with machiavellian qualities / traits (they are manipulative) and psychopath qualities (they are calculating and with very little remorse), and sometimes they are also sadistic (like to cause pain), and may come around as empathic.
A borderline person is described as having empathy, but they are more about self-loathing, and maybe their pain can make them revengeful and insensitive toward the pain of others. But maybe they won't t0rt*re animals, have their version of remorse, shouldn't be really a big dark-empath type. Everybody describes it so different.
Borderline person, charming fragile narcissist, charming dark empath - they are my death traps. If they can attract and captivate, then say that one of my actions or inactions (double-binding) hurt them and play a victim card - this is another heartbreak. I can't distinct things, if someone shows they are in pain - makes u feel like u hurt them.
Thank you for explaining this topic
What is the percentage of dark empaths in the whole human population? Are they common to run into? How do you handle someone like this, in a safe way? What are the early signs of one? Sorry for all of the questions.
My dad is a psychologist and a total "dark empath"
Wow he needs to done away and they get to kicked out of the field.
Interesting
That's so hard @sm8155. To know the core of your parent and yet, the world has no idea. I've had clients in this situation as well. Can be very discouraging.
@@TherapistTamaraHill mom is the same way, but a minister. They're both total phonies but dad is way more sadistic. And yes it's hard to watch them be community leaders and civil rights activists and have all these people put them on a pedestal while I know the truth but I'm the family scapegoat and no one would possibly believe me if I told them what's gone on with my parents
@@lightinczproductions2195 he worked for 35 years at a public inpatient state hospital. Clients too incapacitated to complain or be believed about anything. Had several sexual harassment complaints, but working for the state during the 80s and 90s he wasn't going to get fired for that. As I've woken up to how sick he is I've wondered how many lives he ruined without anyone knowing. He's retired now and has to be satisfied with only tormenting family members
The title D empath should be charged. An empath doesn't have to fake empathy
It should be changed. I agree! I must admit I have no clinical data on where this term came from. I will be doing the research and will bring it back to the channel.
Are you saying the dark empath will copy you?
They might choose to do so, yes, especially if acting like you would benefit them in some way. A dark empath may begin to behave like the sweet older lady down the street if it will give her favor with the other neighbors.