The Kids or Childfree Podcast | Episode 14: Kate Kaufmann on Being an Unabashed Childfree Elder

Author Kate Kaufmann shares her journey of choosing to be childfree after trying to have children alongside much valuable wisdom gleaned over her 70-plus years of life without kids.
You'll hear about:
The challenges and grief associated with this decision and how her identity shifted over time.
The importance of intergenerational relationships and the value of having childless elders in her life.
Practical aspects of aging without children, such as making end-of-life arrangements and having a support network in place.
The capacity and stability that come with not having children and the richness of relationships that can be formed in different ways.
Why individuals may not fit neatly into the categories of childless or childfree, and how one's feelings and experiences may change over time.
As mentioned on the show:
Find out more about Kate and her work at www.katekaufmann.com
You can read Kate's column over at Psychology Today here: www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/unapparent
Learn about and purchase Kate's book, Do You Have Kids? Life When the Answer is No, here.
About Kate:
International, award-winning author of Do You Have Kids? Life When the Answer is No, Kate Kaufmann advocates for better understanding of the childless/childfree demographic in person, on air, and in print. A popular speaker, media guest, and conversation-starter, Kate has an MFA in creative writing and professional background in human resources and consulting. Outlets where her work has been featured include NBC, CBC Radio, Psychology Today, and the Washington Post.
Kate’s mission is to open doors to frank, respectful conversations between the childless and childfree, as well as among parents, non-parents, and those whose futures are as yet unclear.
Kate’s book Do You Have Kids? Life When the Answer is No has been published in North America, the United Kingdom, Taiwan, Brazil, and Korea, with a Chinese edition forthcoming.
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[@kittychi999]

Made a similar decision...at age 10 my mother left so I was the oldest of 4, already having changed more diapers than my mother on the young ones. Then dad remarried 1.5 years later and I then became the oldest of 2 more, 6 total. Saw only the drudgeries and hardship of having kids and not the reward so I do think that is why I never ever felt compelled to have any of my own. Briefly at age 32 I dated someone I would have had children with, but that didn't last and no one filled the bill again during my child bearing years. Age 73 now and though I do not regret not having children, I do experience a huge difference in how secure I feel in general since I don't have kids looking in on me and making sure I am okay. On the other hand, this may be a factor in why I do all I can to stay healthy, including mentally healthy. Still...at age 90 I will not have kids around to empty out an apartment after I die. These are the kinds of things I think about now.

[@HowlingFantods]

The "childless and childfree demographic" is such a fascinating demographic. It will be gone in a generation, axiomatically. Men, throughout history, have had to compete against each other in a rather cut-throat fashion to get the opportunity to reproduce. Roughly 40% of men reproduced vs 80% of women, historically. These men who never were able to pass on their genes have effectively been eliminated from the story of human history.
This new demographic of women who are voluntarily taking themselves out of the reproductive pool are probably a new phenomenon in all of human history and will change the way the human species develops into the future.