The Only Way to Heal Relationships ---A Course in Miracles 17.5 part 1
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- Опубликовано: 1 июн 2024
- acim.org/acim/chapter-17/the-...
When I was younger my Mom would tell me, "You are in a mood."
I replied, "No. I'm not."
She countered, "Yes you are...it's [ girlfriend or interest at that time]. When its going well you are not in a mood." She was right, and there was nothing I could do about wearing moods on my sleeve other than wait out the relationship squall. It's no different now.
One would think one has outgrown all that--what--outgrow the architecture of my emotional life? It just gets older and more dilapidated. I just get more tolerant of the structural quirks. The whole up and down thing just gets more embarrassing, boring, irritating--but it goes on, with a life all its own. When the issues were more intense and unignorable I used to wish there was a brain operation of some kind to fix it. Even now, armed with miracle mindedness, the partnership of the Holy Spirit and boxes of journals collecting dust, seeking, reading, dream interpretation, tarot readings, and self-help tapes, when key relationships have any sort of glitch at all, my late mother is on my shoulder, smugly reminding me, "You are in a mood...". "Gee ma, I don't wanna-be!" These colors of the heart are as real as poured concrete and just slightly less manageable. What to do---does it have to be this way?
Yes and no--comfort isn't everything.
The crud is there to say something is wrong--duh, as they say. If I go back to my more toxic moments of funk, I'd say there was no way out other than pain. The Holy Spirit was present, none-the-less, using, literally, my shadow puppets to wean me off of 'this' and help me develop a taste for 'that.' The whole time I knew what I wanted--no one could sway me from what I wanted, what I knew would ease the pain, bring the joy. Even in that hormonal soup I KNEW it would not , could not last, and the best I could hope for was for both of us to clearly mark the minefields so threading our way through the dog-park of emotion involved minimal clean-up. THAT was success, or honesty, or happiness. and -fingers crossed- neither of us slipped on some anonymous pile to take us out of the agreements altogether. What about now, having built, crossed and burned so many bridges? Am I just a more jaded version of my 25 year old self?
Yes and no, maturity isn't everything.
"It ain't over til the portly lady with a horned battle helmet screams your dead valkyries back to life," as they say. Consider yourself lucky if this conversation does not make any sense. For my part, the sidelong glance, real or imagined, is still enough to send me to catatonia. Words go away. The point of everything is threatened with pointlessness. Obviously, I'm in no position to offer meaningful advice--but who asked for it? I'm not slogging through this 5000-word show notes section with you--you're slogging through this 5000 word show-note with me! Seriously, dial-in--can I come to any intelligent conclusions about the power emotional ups and downs have in relation to relationships?
"I am not the body, I am free, and I am still as God created me," meaning; the play of moods is a body reaction, like smelling something on your shoe, or twitching when you hear a door open at home alone. Trying to dampen the reactions completely is in the same family of strategies as long fasts, not looking at a car wreck on the side of the road, or getting a chin tuck. They are egoic angles that provide an illusion of control over something we have to LEARN is not relevant to the main topic. The body does what the body does and each person has a different body with different reactions. Here is the work, Phil, go into your little funk and say, "Just a funk, no different than a sore muscle, being sleepy, or wishing you did not have to clean Fido's gifts out of the cleats in the Rockports." It does not matter. The learning is not squelching moods but refusing to be dominated by them as though they mattered. They matter as much as I let them--they might fade with a lack of audience, and they might not. Once I can decide moods are not a hurdle but a guest, I can move on to part two which is , "How to secure an enthusiastic and deeply felt relationship with the Holy Spirit, with or without the funk." The good news is that the partnership is 'built-in' to even the most funkily unholy special-relationships, shadows and all. And that's all anybody needs to know---the GOOD news.
Thank you both so very much. As usual absolutely fabulous. Your honesty and insights are so helpful and inspirational. Bless you both ❤❤❤❤
Keep sending love [when you feel it of course] It means a lot!
Yes, the head (not us) hijacks the idea of Holy Relationship runs with it and makes it into something it is not. The living-is-ness vs. the static conception can be a tough one to see through.The paradox is though the individuated vs whole system nature of relationship seem to have different 'goals', they in fact do not. By being true to self we best fit where we need to.The furnace of redemption turns out to be an easy-bake oven instead
Exactly! And dpending on how headstrong I am to force my 'static understanding' the is-ness might, as you said, might seem like I am being cremated alive. [Hard way to get 'the good fit' ].