"You don't need to be happy before you find another relationship" Matthew coming at us with the controversial opinions, but I'm glad someone said it! If you wait until you're 100% happy and whole before you get into a relationship, you'll wait forever. Happy enough is good enough ❤.
Well, it's not really controversial, but you really should be able to handle your own stuff before getting into a relationship. No one should depend on someone else to fix their problems or be burdened with other people's problems. That breeds resentment in the relationship. Same with if someone is only looking to a relationship for happiness and can't create their own happiness, that's a lot of demand from the partner to be that person's only source of happiness or entertainment.
@@HouseMDaddict absolutely nobody said anything about it being okay to bring emotional baggage into a relationship and making it your partners responsibility. Obviously that's not the case. Matt just said that you don't need to be blissfully happy to be in a relationship, which is true. Even the most well put together people have their minor flaws or their bad days, that doesn't mean they're not ready, or unworthy of a relationship.
I just lost my job and my relationship within 48 hours. I am currently on this journey for myself. I'm about to take a 3 month road trip by myself to prove that I am the person I want to be. I love your advice. Thank you so much!!!
You will get through this. A road trip is a fantastic idea!! I admire that so much. This is just the end of one chapter and beginning of a new one full of endless possibilities and opportunities. There’s a beautiful life ahead of you. You got this. Safe travels on this next adventure! God bless!
"You should be happy before you meet someone" and this advice usually comes from someone who is in a relationship who was not happy before the relationship - FINALLY SOMEONE SAYS IT, THANK YOU!
This is why I thought for the longest if you had issues with depression or even anxiety relationships weren't for you. It made it seem like you have to be at this optimal level so even if you were trying it wasn't enough. Then I kept thinking well it's going to take forever to heal yourself even with the right resources and I recently realized we are all works in progress and the healing journey doesn't necessarily have an end date. Funny he said happy enough since I've discovered Complex Ptsd and how it relates to me and Pete Walker talks about not being perfect but good enough.
Like how 99% of the people who tell you "You shouldn't worry about money" have enough that if they lost their job and couldn't find another one for 3 years, they'd still have no problem making ends meet.
Somebody once said: "I know what I can bring to the table that's why im not scared to eat alone". (And especially with the table you pictured, strong and sturdy legs!😀)
I have been single without dating anyone for 12 years and I'm really content and happy. I'm not against relationships at all I just personally rather be alone than go thru drama or toxicity.
@@tailgunner2 now now. It's not a competition you guys. But isn't it scary that you're so used to being by yourself that you can never connect with a partner even if you want to? Because you're comfortably single. I'm just curious to know
@@amamamamamama97 Why would it be scary? I already lived it. Besides, I have more important things to worry about, like paying my debts off. My jobs soak up most of my time. Other things simply had to be sacrificed. Not everyone gets things like paid vacations or time off to do other things.
Over 40 yrs. Had a very good job & income, educated, independent person, just never met anyone with whom I connected. I think I just met too many men who weren’t secure enough to be involved with a strong, grounded woman who was financially independent and who felt perhaps, that they wouldn’t be more dominant in the relationship.
3 components of being happy enough 1. How do you communicate ? ( communication) 2. ( Confidence)how do you treat yourself well and allow others to treat you well 3. You’re life ( health, fitness, careers, friends, hobbies)
Im happy enough. I would just like to share my bit of happiness with someone else's bit of happiness, and then we would share a lot bigger piece of happiness together 🙂
Couples think, because they found each other that they have the answer and give unsolicited, conflicting advise like "you'll find the the one when you're ready" or "you'll find the one when you're not looking" or "you'll find the one after you visit the oracle and are deemed worthy."
Well the Oracle I consulted last week told me I need the blood of a virgin born on a full moon on February 29th, the scale of a mermaid's tale and the horn of a unicorn. Simple stuff really 🤷🏾♀️
Nope not at all. I’m a guy have been watching Matthew and a few others off n on for years. Helps me understand myself & other guys. Happy to be single.
"Happy enough" allows for those little pangs of discontent -- without some discontent there is no room or desire for growth. Perfectly happy leaves no room to invite change.
I’ve been pretty happy single the past 4.5 years . I’m open to a relationship with someone that is open, kind and stable . Otherwise I keep myself busy with my work, daughter animals and fitness .
I came out of a relationship (close to 4 years). I was in it for the longest time just because it provided comfort. I was not even attracted to her by the end of it. When it ended, I realised all the heartbreak and 'loss of hope' that came with it. Then, I realised that it was really me... my love, my value and my talents that brought so much to the table. Today, I am with someone new and I find her to be amazing. There's still hurt/wounds from the past but I know I will get through. I deserve the best!
Out of curiosity why do you have wounds and need to heal when you just stated your weren’t attracted to her and only in it for the comfort you got. so surely the break up was a relief for you no? This is a genuine question because what you said is a bit confusing
@@flutterby8462 yes you’re right - the breakup was a relief. There are two major issues I faced: one, it was a codependent relationship so I was heavily dependent on this person and had no social life outside. Second, I wasn’t into it but stayed and suppressed my feelings for almost two years. When I told her (multiple times) that I wanted to leave, she wouldn’t let me leave because she wanted us to keep going. I was too intimidated and still cared about this person, hence I stayed. So, right now after I got out and it’s been quite a while, I am facing all the hurt and pain that I suppressed for so long. Also, when I got into it I was 19 years old and still forming my identity. So you can get how it impacted my younger self.
This message really resonated with me! I feel that modern society tells us that we should be able to achieve a perpetual state of happiness, and if we can't, something is wrong with us. This is a flawed perception of what it means to be happy, we should strive to be happy enough instead. Thank you Matthew, and I look forward to seeing you in the next video!
I like this. I usually say that I was unhappily single, but that usually was met with all of the "you need to be completed in yourself" blah blah blah. And I had to let them know my cut off game is strong. You can't come into my life and takeaway from my happy.
Wow this makes complete sense why I settled with people even when there were red flags whereas I’m quite intuitive when it comes to choosing the right employer for my career. I’m glad I’ve worked on myself and sorting out my life to be at a “happy enough” place to not need a relationship to feel happy or complete or fulfilled. Much love to you Matt! 🌸
@@lolalola9323 people are hear on this You Tube channel to listen to what Matthew Hussey has to say. We do not need your relationship expert. Matthew Hussey has lots of fantastic advice here. I have learnt so many helpful things from him this year by watching his videos.
I’ve worked on my life for years getting myself to a place where I can find happiness in many places of my life, my career, my family, my cat, my home, my friends, my SELF. I’m finally at a place where I am walking away from many things (and men) who come to me offering me crumbs when I know I deserve so much more. It’s still hard bc I do want love in my life.. but I needed to build the strength to walk away from situationships and not settle for less than what I deserve. Not sure I’ll ever find a man for me.. doesn’t quite seem that way. But I’ll leave that in God’s hands. All I can do is what’s best for me and that means loving ME no matter what. Whether I have a man or not, I am worthy 🖤 thanks for sharing videos like this, these helped me on this journey so much and still do
Hello my dear,I can introduce you to Dr okado,he was the one who help me to bring back my ex few days ago after six months of separation,he can also help you retore your relationship back and make you happy same way I m happy now
I always took the "You have to be happy." as you have to love yourself enough to know what you deserve so you don't get in and stay in bad realationships.
I totally get the "happy enough" thing. When I was a kid, I was depressed and took every negative thing to heart and it was really hard to grow out of that. I'm still not happy with where I am, but I know things that make me happy and things that don't and I pursue the happier things other than just accepting and hiding from my life.
I never believed you need to be happy to meet someone, what is happiness anyway? Constant, 24/7 bliss? No way. It is alright to feel shitty sometimes and I believe we are naturally happy enough so that we don't make a choice out of desperation.
The best thing is to train yourself to let go of what you've lost. Moving on does not mean moving onto someone else. It means letting go of who hurt you.
" the 3rd Circle " Yourself".. I value myself so much that when a guy enters my world and they aren't good enough based on my qualifications.. I ditch them right away . No wonder I'm still single up to now... This is onother great lesson.
Same, I ditch them even though they’re kind to me as I have a hunger for life, doesn’t have to be rich or successful but a slight success or accomplishments is enough. I do things like exploring, both around me and the world that requires a 16-hour flight. Go out and explore. It doesn’t have to be traveling/exploring but a career change, or walking into a new path and leaving things that doesn’t serve you.
(standing ovation) someone in a relationship tells you that you need to be happy even though they werent happy and their relationship made them happier 🤣🔥🔥
When “he” comes into my living space and is putting me down, cursing as his example of what he is. It is time to not allow that person back into your living space.
Look, that's great Monica, but I really feel you missed the point of the video. And your emoji choice feels kinda condescending to those of us who are on their journey to "happy enough" for now. Nothing wrong with what you wrote... Just a little careless.
@@ginger05 don't worry when u have a purpose that actually fulfills u emotionally, mentally , then u r 'happy enough' ,her comment shouldn't bother u much she wasn't intentionally doing so to hurt anyone she's just been a little more happy than u today, keep goin ,good luck 👍
The best is when I tell my sister I wish I was married by now and I don't want to be single and she just tells me "I know lots of single people who are perfectly happy". Well gee...thanks... Meanwhile, she's on her 2nd marriage, has 2 kids...so helpful right? I remember she was NOT "perfectly happy" when she was single. Thanks for this Matt, "happy enough" I can normally get by with this but do have my down days.
Love this. The “be happy on your own before you get into a relationship” I think is a new concept or trend to prove self-sufficiency and non-neediness. It creates a very lonely generation where we don’t reach out to others and build relationships or communities. We have the want and need to have relationships, family, friends, romantic, colleagues, community, neighbourhood, etc. And that is OK to rely on others or want to be with others.
Oh Matthew! 8 years ago, I was at the top of my game. Then I met a great guy and we dated. 3 months later it's over and i'm crushed. From then on, my life went downhill. Being happy enough, or even being super happy still doesn't save us if we think we lost the man of our lives, or at least the greatest man we ever met.
@@WhyRUclipsWhy That's chemistry, one component, not love itself which takes years to build. And trust me if you lose that deep love you will know the shattering difference. i wouldn't wish it on anyone.
This makes more sense. After all, isn't this what being in a relationship is all about? To be happier than before? There's no point pretending that we were as happy when we weren't in a relationship. Be happy enough when you're single, and be even happier when you've met the right person.
Hello my dear,I can recommend you to a relationship expert who help me bring back my ex few days ago after six months of breakup ,he can also help you bring back your ex and fix your broken relationship too without any stress or delay
You almost always inspire me to keep improving myself Matthew Hussey, not just on how to be better at selecting the right partner. You help remind people that they are already blessed, although we need to be better at knowing how to use them effectively. More power to you and your crew. God bless
What you just said is simply amazing. I was told all the time that I HAVE TO be happy on my own, that I have to love myself and try not to need anyone and then the person will come. How can I be fully happy without love? I think you can’t just fully do this with yourself, you need other people, their attention, love and presence in your life - just much as we need family and friends, we need a lover. Simple. But I am happy enough, I know what I can give and what I expect. I do not need someone to fill my life, I need someone to enjoy the journey with me. Now i know it. ❤️
I can highly recommend his retreat I attended 2 retreats and it is truly what he promises about giving you the power to be strong and to live the life you desire... best coaching I ever decided to invest in!!!!!
Hello my dear,I can recommend you to a relationship expert who hlep me bring back my ex few days ago after six months of breakup ,he can also help you bring back your ex and fix your broken relationship too without any stress or delay
Hallelujah! We’re all human and have bad days, maintaining a permanent happy vibe is just not realistic, and sets you up to beat yourself up when you have a bad day!
Yes! Omg I always felt like something was missing through my journey and it was “Your Life”... I mean I have a life that I’m very thankful for but I could definitely improve things and aim for more. Thank you!
This is just simply beautiful. Of all your videos I’ve watched, this is hands down my favourite. You addressed spirituality, common sense, ownership and love and respect for Self and “other”. With clarity, no bullshit, complete honesty! Free of ego! Yours and ours…which is the whole point of this channel from what I take away from it 🙏
I have always thought for myself , that I need to be happy in 'myself ' before being in a relationship, knowing like Matthew said that I am making good choices, and that i am strong enough in myself to know when to walk away and to know I deserve better. Being actually happy in a general sense, no one can be happy 100% of the time. Its subjective and situational sometimes ... a journey not a destination. If you are unhappy in your life and yourself , then you have nothing to offer anyone else. If you can't even give it to yourself that's your answer really. Too many people run around trying to fill the void within themselves with other peoples energies. They are energy hoovers!
Hello my dear,I can introduce you to Dr okado,he was the one who help me to bring back my ex few days ago after six months of separation,he can also help you retore your relationship back and make you happy same way I m happy now
Love it. IT IS life saving. Thank you Matthew, new subscriber. I divorced 4 months ago, after 32 years. Getting my own life, and loving every minute of it. I don't need a man, but I want one. There is a difference. I feel ok, happy enough.
When you express yourself that way, people either don't believe it or misunderstand like we are closed to love 😊 we can still be committed to life and joy without being committed to a person.. and love, when it comes, it comes and is welcome 😊 next time I try to explain this I'll just share this video as an answer, thank you 😊
Love this so much!!! I dont want to settle for anything. I just want to enjoy my life and be with the love of my life and have some kiddos. That's good enough for me. Well if I am being honest it's all I ever wanted. To have a family and be happy with them.
Matthew is gifted. U would first think his content would be trite and boring, but he would come through as very edifying and refreshing. Bless you, man.
1:11 my eyes wide open, me sitting on my bed screaming "YES, THANK YOU! FINALLY SOMEONE SAYS IT OMG" and spill my coffee all over my pyjama. Thank you Matt, I love you ☺️❤️
Hello my dear,I can introduce you to Dr okado,he was the one who help me to bring back my ex few days ago after six months of separation,he can also help you retore your relationship back and make you happy same way I m happy now
Hello my dear,I can recommend you to a relationship expert who help me bring back my ex few days ago after six months of breakup ,he can also help you bring back your ex and fix your broken relationship too without any stress or delay
I think Mr. Hussey’s advice is mostly beneficial-espec for women, who live in an echo chamber-but ‘happiness’ is best defined as ‘the byproduct of the pursuit of a worthy goal’
I can refer you to a relationship expert who help me manifesty my ex back and fix my broken relationship few days ago after six months of breakup, He can also help you manifest your ex back and make all your heart desired comes true, without any stress or delay.
On a more extreme level, I’ve heard that if you’re suicidal, you cannot expect someone else to commit to you if you don’t commit to your own life. Also great advice on this video of having the legs of your life support the bigger picture of being happy enough.
I hear this ALL the time. I hate it and it makes me cringe because it makes me feel like it’s my fault. It feels like I’m doing something wrong. Thank you for this!
Matthew this is fantastic! This is what everyone needs to learn in order to keep themselves safe from people who would harm them (rape, sexual assault, human trafficking, abusive relationships, etc.) Because we all want love, when we get desperate, we are willing to put ourselves in dangerous situations to get some sort of "love." It's so sad but we can learn to be "happy enough" if we know how to get there. This video shows you the beginnings of how to get there! I just want to say thank you for sharing this and thank you for having the courage to help others.
Thank you so much for this video! I cried when I heard it cause it is really painful for me to hear this fucking sentence!!! Your « enough » changes my pain in hopes and makes my life lighter!!! ❤️
Just the fact that I have a friend that was open enough to share he was very depressed and that I could understand him and we were able to talk about it. Means a lot. You just have to be okay with what you do and move forward and to be the best you can.
Omgsh! You are really the best on RUclips! Thank you Matthew. You go full circle. Finally! Absolutely complete the picture. So many men that I have dated, some short and some long term. I beat myself up now that I’m not with anyone thinking I messed up, I should have been able to get along or “put up” with the “lack” I was getting... I do have confidence but I’m not cocky. Easy going and non judge mental. But I never want to settle. I know what I need to feel loved and to give love back. I know what I want and I don’t to be always wanting more from my guy. So I’m willing to wait. I’m not going to second guess anymore. I deserve the best and I know my mr right is out there somewhere wondering where I am.
Hello my dear,I can recommend you to a relationship expert who hlep me bring back my ex few days ago after six months of breakup ,he can also help you bring back your ex and fix your broken relationship too without any stress or delay
Hello my dear,I can recommend you to a relationship expert who help me bring back my ex few days ago after six months of breakup ,he can also help you bring back your ex and fix your broken relationship too without any stress or delay
Why are you considering happiness as a key desire, if emotion is the least stable component ever? Today you're happy and tomorrow you aren't. I'd prefer to target stability instead of happiness since the most long lasting relationships are stable. The life is much more normal and (for most people) less satisfying, because many cannot handle a boring marriage for decades. Modern world needs stability
I always taught my daughter's their importance or self worth isn't related to whether or not you are in a relationship. Too many people are weak in this way.
Happy enough, to me, equals being content, satisfied. I don't have to be deliriously happy. There's a huge difference. Thank you, Matthew, for pointing this out. Self love is the best place to start. If you love and respect yourself, you can communicate your needs, boundaries, standards and values so that a guy knows you better. He either fits in with my lifestyle or he doesn't. If he doesn't, he can GO. No harm done.
I think it's Chris Appleton, his fellow Brit and also LA-based famous hairdresser. He made him look alike with the current hair cut. Although it's great to change the hairdo occasionally, I think the Rockabilly style haircut Matt had some time ago suited him best.
I'm HAPPY ENOUGH at this point in my life. I do not LOVE myself, but I do LIKE myself. I have had to WALK away from all the relationships I've been in my life. Each one of my relationships I've had were Long Term. Longest one was 12 years I'm 57 years old I have never been married and no kids.
Okay Matthew. I see what you’re doing. Your “happy enough” steps sound a whole lot like being regular happy. You’re just trying to make the concept more palatable to people who don’t want to accept the fact/start truth that you really do need to love yourself and be happy on your own in order to be in a good place of pursuing a relationship (which happens to be 99% of people). I’m not mad at all. Gotta put food on the table and keep the lights on. I respect (and a little bit amused by) the hustle 🙏
Hello my dear,I can recommend you to a relationship expert who help me bring back my ex few days ago after six months of breakup ,he can also help you bring back your ex and fix your broken relationship too without any stress or delay
That’s a good point! There are different levels of happiness and that varies between people and themselves. Who’s to say what is truly happy? We can only identify our own different levels of happiness.
Matthew Hussey..your head and your heart are the best part of you..your emotional intelligence is beyond compare.. Matthew Hussey..you are the only person in the world who understands emotions and relationships.. Matthew Hussey..you deserve all the happiness in the world coz you make other people happy..I value you the most..I respect you the most..
Bro thank you for this 🙏🏾 this was the one I needed, my god. Whoever thought a ven diagram would be what I’m gonna decided to plaster on my wall and look at every single day with what I want and I’m gonna achieve in these three areas 😂 This was it man..you’re a damn godsend 🙏🏾💯
Hello my dear,I can recommend you to a relationship expert who hlep me bring back my ex few days ago after six months of breakup ,he can also help you bring back your ex and fix your broken relationship too without any stress or delay
Finally! Yes! You are saying the truth, those people who preach "you have to be whole, 100% happy before you meet someone" they are all in a relationship and they where not happy before their partner. My sister is in a long term relationship and made her partner her everything, she is not that type that functions well single, and she met someone, they have had difficult time and they are not always happy with eachother, then why should we have to have that standard on ourselves! Its ridiculous! Great video!
The awkward face Matthew pulled on this topic at the beginning I also pulled before watching this video....and then the relief when I watched it! Yes Matthew! Loved this! I’m in this place and it’s nice to feel it’s enough!
Thank you Matthew! There are so many things here that many of us can learn from-just the easy and honest life skills. The main take away for me is to be my healthiest in all 3 areas to only attract healthy individuals. You tha best!
Loved this video! Thank you!!!! I always felt guilty that I wasn't joyfully happy being single, lol. Thank you for this concept, because I am definitely happy enough:) and now I feel relieved from the pressure to be perfectly happy all the time
This is exactely why we keep failing in everything we do, we think we have to be blissfully exhilarated, have all the money we want, the career, etc, etc. So in reality we keep telling ourselves that we are not enough until we achieve this state of fulfillment Nirvana! What Matthew is saying makes absolute sense, I especially liked the diagram. Stop telling yourself you are not enough, be happy enough with the life you have created...awesome.
@@Marisolkeys No it's not😀 He can have fan base who fancy him like fantasies 😂 What's shameful about admitting it? The only wrong will be acting like some psycho based over fantasies 😏
Totally agree with this. There's nothing wrong with not being fully 100% happy before being in a relationship and there's nothing wrong with wanting to find someone to complete your life or be that missing piece. Longing to love and be loved is a good thing!
To be Happy Can do by our self always. Life Can be enjoyed on its own, What happens is not a Coincidence,but it happens at The right Time we are just balancing it and applying it to our lifestyle.
"You don't need to be happy before you find another relationship" Matthew coming at us with the controversial opinions, but I'm glad someone said it! If you wait until you're 100% happy and whole before you get into a relationship, you'll wait forever.
Happy enough is good enough ❤.
Agreed!!
Makes Sense..
Well, it's not really controversial, but you really should be able to handle your own stuff before getting into a relationship. No one should depend on someone else to fix their problems or be burdened with other people's problems. That breeds resentment in the relationship. Same with if someone is only looking to a relationship for happiness and can't create their own happiness, that's a lot of demand from the partner to be that person's only source of happiness or entertainment.
@@HouseMDaddict absolutely nobody said anything about it being okay to bring emotional baggage into a relationship and making it your partners responsibility. Obviously that's not the case. Matt just said that you don't need to be blissfully happy to be in a relationship, which is true. Even the most well put together people have their minor flaws or their bad days, that doesn't mean they're not ready, or unworthy of a relationship.
This has been very hard for me. Thanks Matt!
I just lost my job and my relationship within 48 hours. I am currently on this journey for myself. I'm about to take a 3 month road trip by myself to prove that I am the person I want to be. I love your advice. Thank you so much!!!
Everything is going to be alright. This will only make you much stronger 🤗
You will get through this. A road trip is a fantastic idea!! I admire that so much. This is just the end of one chapter and beginning of a new one full of endless possibilities and opportunities. There’s a beautiful life ahead of you. You got this. Safe travels on this next adventure! God bless!
Rejection is redirection.. Hope you get through this and feel better after your trip
Sadness to Happiness feeling, only takes an afternoon. Ride it out 💪. The sun will shine again tomorrow.
So I love this idea and good luck to you, but-- how are you going to afford a road trip if you just lost your job?
"You should be happy before you meet someone" and this advice usually comes from someone who is in a relationship who was not happy before the relationship - FINALLY SOMEONE SAYS IT, THANK YOU!
🤣🙌🏻🙌🏻
I know, right?! Lol I was thinking the same - finally!
I agree 💯
This is why I thought for the longest if you had issues with depression or even anxiety relationships weren't for you. It made it seem like you have to be at this optimal level so even if you were trying it wasn't enough. Then I kept thinking well it's going to take forever to heal yourself even with the right resources and I recently realized we are all works in progress and the healing journey doesn't necessarily have an end date. Funny he said happy enough since I've discovered Complex Ptsd and how it relates to me and Pete Walker talks about not being perfect but good enough.
Like how 99% of the people who tell you "You shouldn't worry about money" have enough that if they lost their job and couldn't find another one for 3 years, they'd still have no problem making ends meet.
Somebody once said: "I know what I can bring to the table that's why im not scared to eat alone". (And especially with the table you pictured, strong and sturdy legs!😀)
Awesome quote! :)
That's a great quote
@@heteromodal I know right? So powerful
@@jenwinchester1941 it’s spam. Ignore it
@@Dontincludeme I know! 🤣🤣
You don't have to be HAPPY to go into a new relationship but you do have to be HEALTHY
The only people that can tell me what to do are my parents and Matthew Hussey.
Scam
😂
I think Matthew would love to take care of you and tell you what to do and very naughty way...your beautiful I prefer to look like you..
Lol!
😂
I have been single without dating anyone for 12 years and I'm really content and happy. I'm not against relationships at all I just personally rather be alone than go thru drama or toxicity.
19 years for me....not like I ever wanted kids so don't need to find a partner for that reason. I just do what I like to do and that's it.
Heh, I have you both beat.
22 years
@@tailgunner2 now now. It's not a competition you guys. But isn't it scary that you're so used to being by yourself that you can never connect with a partner even if you want to? Because you're comfortably single. I'm just curious to know
@@amamamamamama97 Why would it be scary? I already lived it.
Besides, I have more important things to worry about, like paying my debts off. My jobs soak up most of my time. Other things simply had to be sacrificed.
Not everyone gets things like paid vacations or time off to do other things.
Over 40 yrs. Had a very good job & income, educated, independent person, just never met anyone with whom I connected. I think I just met too many men who weren’t secure enough to be involved with a strong, grounded woman who was financially independent and who felt perhaps, that they wouldn’t be more dominant in the relationship.
3 components of being happy enough
1. How do you communicate ? ( communication)
2. ( Confidence)how do you treat yourself well and allow others to treat you well
3. You’re life ( health, fitness, careers, friends, hobbies)
* your …you are life could make sense if you are having a life of your own like “you are your life” 🤔
Friends can be lethal to your relationship...you need to keep them nice n sweet but they should not in your life as much as your family can!
And that's exactly the state in which I met my partner. We're getting married this year.
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
@@Anniloves21 thank you, I wish you the best ❤
@@jennieli7199 thank you 🤗
Who cares
Im happy enough.
I would just like to share my bit of happiness with someone else's bit of happiness, and then we would share a lot bigger piece of happiness together 🙂
Slow clap. "You need to be happy" is often said by someone who was unhappy when they got in a relationship. PREACH
Couples think, because they found each other that they have the answer and give unsolicited, conflicting advise like "you'll find the the one when you're ready" or "you'll find the one when you're not looking" or "you'll find the one after you visit the oracle and are deemed worthy."
This made me laugh 😆 “the Oracle” 😂😂😂
"The oracle" that was awesome😂
Well the Oracle I consulted last week told me I need the blood of a virgin born on a full moon on February 29th, the scale of a mermaid's tale and the horn of a unicorn. Simple stuff really 🤷🏾♀️
Sharon Henry,you look stunning dear
@@nadiacalembe1546 I have a unicorn horn! I’ll mail it to ya after my fairy bring me the others for my ceremony 😌
Is it wrong that I'm a guy watching Matthews videos? They really help me and sometimes even help understand women psychology more.
Nope not at all. I’m a guy have been watching Matthew and a few others off n on for years. Helps me understand myself & other guys. Happy to be single.
My brother also watches Matthew's videos :)
Smart!
No! Not at all... at least you are working on yourself
im with ya too my man
"Happy enough" allows for those little pangs of discontent -- without some discontent there is no room or desire for growth. Perfectly happy leaves no room to invite change.
Phew .... what a huge relief ..... I can do ‘happy enough’ 😀
I know, right?
Ikr🤷♀️😍
I’ve been pretty happy single the past 4.5 years . I’m open to a relationship with someone that is open, kind and stable . Otherwise I keep myself busy with my work, daughter animals and fitness .
I came out of a relationship (close to 4 years). I was in it for the longest time just because it provided comfort. I was not even attracted to her by the end of it. When it ended, I realised all the heartbreak and 'loss of hope' that came with it. Then, I realised that it was really me... my love, my value and my talents that brought so much to the table.
Today, I am with someone new and I find her to be amazing. There's still hurt/wounds from the past but I know I will get through. I deserve the best!
Out of curiosity why do you have wounds and need to heal when you just stated your weren’t attracted to her and only in it for the comfort you got. so surely the break up was a relief for you no? This is a genuine question because what you said is a bit confusing
@@flutterby8462 yes you’re right - the breakup was a relief. There are two major issues I faced: one, it was a codependent relationship so I was heavily dependent on this person and had no social life outside. Second, I wasn’t into it but stayed and suppressed my feelings for almost two years. When I told her (multiple times) that I wanted to leave, she wouldn’t let me leave because she wanted us to keep going. I was too intimidated and still cared about this person, hence I stayed. So, right now after I got out and it’s been quite a while, I am facing all the hurt and pain that I suppressed for so long.
Also, when I got into it I was 19 years old and still forming my identity. So you can get how it impacted my younger self.
@Helle Thorning both. I never had a girlfriend before and she admitted later she was latching onto me.
Just got done with a divorce after a 6 year for similar reasons.
communication is KEEEEEY to any relationship including friendships. A good relationship is built on a foundation of communication
This message really resonated with me! I feel that modern society tells us that we should be able to achieve a perpetual state of happiness, and if we can't, something is wrong with us. This is a flawed perception of what it means to be happy, we should strive to be happy enough instead. Thank you Matthew, and I look forward to seeing you in the next video!
I like this. I usually say that I was unhappily single, but that usually was met with all of the "you need to be completed in yourself" blah blah blah. And I had to let them know my cut off game is strong. You can't come into my life and takeaway from my happy.
Wow this makes complete sense why I settled with people even when there were red flags whereas I’m quite intuitive when it comes to choosing the right employer for my career. I’m glad I’ve worked on myself and sorting out my life to be at a “happy enough” place to not need a relationship to feel happy or complete or fulfilled.
Much love to you Matt! 🌸
Afsha H,you deserve a good man!
1 minute in, and I'm vibing with this video
No one really cares but good for you
Like a werewolf and a newborn.
@@lolalola9323 people are hear on this You Tube channel to listen to what Matthew Hussey has to say. We do not need your relationship expert.
Matthew Hussey has lots of fantastic advice here. I have learnt so many helpful things from him this year by watching his videos.
@@lolalola9323 going back to your ex is like trying to put poo back in your bum !
You’re here too?! 😂😂😂SAME
I’ve worked on my life for years getting myself to a place where I can find happiness in many places of my life, my career, my family, my cat, my home, my friends, my SELF. I’m finally at a place where I am walking away from many things (and men) who come to me offering me crumbs when I know I deserve so much more. It’s still hard bc I do want love in my life.. but I needed to build the strength to walk away from situationships and not settle for less than what I deserve. Not sure I’ll ever find a man for me.. doesn’t quite seem that way. But I’ll leave that in God’s hands. All I can do is what’s best for me and that means loving ME no matter what. Whether I have a man or not, I am worthy 🖤 thanks for sharing videos like this, these helped me on this journey so much and still do
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@@luisjoy5734 I don’t have an ex I want back. Thanks
Can not agree more!
I always took the "You have to be happy." as you have to love yourself enough to know what you deserve so you don't get in and stay in bad realationships.
I totally get the "happy enough" thing. When I was a kid, I was depressed and took every negative thing to heart and it was really hard to grow out of that. I'm still not happy with where I am, but I know things that make me happy and things that don't and I pursue the happier things other than just accepting and hiding from my life.
I never believed you need to be happy to meet someone, what is happiness anyway? Constant, 24/7 bliss? No way. It is alright to feel shitty sometimes and I believe we are naturally happy enough so that we don't make a choice out of desperation.
Looks like I’m “happy enough” folks! Yay!! Let’s do this 💪🏼🔥🤗👏🏼😍
I LOVE being single! i can stay one Saturday reading a full book... but when the right one arrives to my life will be lovely too!
The best thing is to train yourself to let go of what you've lost. Moving on does not mean moving onto someone else. It means letting go of who hurt you.
" the 3rd Circle " Yourself".. I value myself so much that when a guy enters my world and they aren't good enough based on my qualifications.. I ditch them right away . No wonder I'm still single up to now... This is onother great lesson.
Same, I ditch them even though they’re kind to me as I have a hunger for life, doesn’t have to be rich or successful but a slight success or accomplishments is enough. I do things like exploring, both around me and the world that requires a 16-hour flight. Go out and explore. It doesn’t have to be traveling/exploring but a career change, or walking into a new path and leaving things that doesn’t serve you.
I just had a breakup, i needed it so badly😶
Me too. It seems like his advice lands just at the moment we need it.
(standing ovation) someone in a relationship tells you that you need to be happy even though they werent happy and their relationship made them happier 🤣🔥🔥
When “he” comes into my living space and is putting me down, cursing as his example of what he is. It is time to not allow that person back into your living space.
I'm so happy and complete that I don't need a relationship anymore! 😂
🤣🤣👍
@Monica Relationship is sweet when been with the right partner because both partner will share things together
Look, that's great Monica, but I really feel you missed the point of the video. And your emoji choice feels kinda condescending to those of us who are on their journey to "happy enough" for now. Nothing wrong with what you wrote... Just a little careless.
@@ginger05 just one more "internet type" around here...
@@ginger05 don't worry when u have a purpose that actually fulfills u emotionally, mentally , then u r 'happy enough' ,her comment shouldn't bother u much she wasn't intentionally doing so to hurt anyone she's just been a little more happy than u today, keep goin ,good luck 👍
The best is when I tell my sister I wish I was married by now and I don't want to be single and she just tells me "I know lots of single people who are perfectly happy". Well gee...thanks... Meanwhile, she's on her 2nd marriage, has 2 kids...so helpful right? I remember she was NOT "perfectly happy" when she was single. Thanks for this Matt, "happy enough" I can normally get by with this but do have my down days.
Katie Fleming,your lovely smile can make the news!
well she says so coz she is not as happy as she thought she would be in marriage.... just her own projections..
Love this. The “be happy on your own before you get into a relationship” I think is a new concept or trend to prove self-sufficiency and non-neediness. It creates a very lonely generation where we don’t reach out to others and build relationships or communities.
We have the want and need to have relationships, family, friends, romantic, colleagues, community, neighbourhood, etc. And that is OK to rely on others or want to be with others.
I know of a man who would help you restore back your relationship either you ex or soul mate
±2348134090209⏯⏯?????????
Oh Matthew! 8 years ago, I was at the top of my game. Then I met a great guy and we dated. 3 months later it's over and i'm crushed. From then on, my life went downhill. Being happy enough, or even being super happy still doesn't save us if we think we lost the man of our lives, or at least the greatest man we ever met.
I think you need to dig deeper if you think a guy who was with you for three months is the love of your life. Sorry for being blunt
You knew that after ONLY three months??
@@frankl7370 Oh darling, Ive known that after a night!
@@WhyRUclipsWhy That's chemistry, one component, not love itself which takes years to build. And trust me if you lose that deep love you will know the shattering difference.
i wouldn't wish it on anyone.
@@waylander7777 Oh so the 9 years of depression i got are nothing?! Shut up.
This makes more sense. After all, isn't this what being in a relationship is all about? To be happier than before? There's no point pretending that we were as happy when we weren't in a relationship.
Be happy enough when you're single, and be even happier when you've met the right person.
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You almost always inspire me to keep improving myself Matthew Hussey, not just on how to be better at selecting the right partner. You help remind people that they are already blessed, although we need to be better at knowing how to use them effectively. More power to you and your crew. God bless
What you just said is simply amazing. I was told all the time that I HAVE TO be happy on my own, that I have to love myself and try not to need anyone and then the person will come. How can I be fully happy without love? I think you can’t just fully do this with yourself, you need other people, their attention, love and presence in your life - just much as we need family and friends, we need a lover. Simple. But I am happy enough, I know what I can give and what I expect. I do not need someone to fill my life, I need someone to enjoy the journey with me. Now i know it. ❤️
I can highly recommend his retreat I attended 2 retreats and it is truly what he promises about giving you the power to be strong and to live the life you desire... best coaching I ever decided to invest in!!!!!
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Hallelujah! We’re all human and have bad days, maintaining a permanent happy vibe is just not realistic, and sets you up to beat yourself up when you have a bad day!
Yes! Omg I always felt like something was missing through my journey and it was “Your Life”... I mean I have a life that I’m very thankful for but I could definitely improve things and aim for more. Thank you!
This is just simply beautiful. Of all your videos I’ve watched, this is hands down my favourite. You addressed spirituality, common sense, ownership and love and respect for Self and “other”. With clarity, no bullshit, complete honesty! Free of ego! Yours and ours…which is the whole point of this channel from what I take away from it 🙏
Can I be happy single? Yes . Can I be happy in a relationship? Yes. I think that's all I need to know.
I have always thought for myself , that I need to be happy in 'myself ' before being in a relationship, knowing like Matthew said that I am making good choices, and that i am strong enough in myself to know when to walk away and to know I deserve better. Being actually happy in a general sense, no one can be happy 100% of the time. Its subjective and situational sometimes ... a journey not a destination. If you are unhappy in your life and yourself , then you have nothing to offer anyone else. If you can't even give it to yourself that's your answer really. Too many people run around trying to fill the void within themselves with other peoples energies. They are energy hoovers!
Absolutely love this! The advice: you gotta love yourself first makes me crazy. As if you have to earn iT first. Everyone deserves love.
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Danielle Mulder,your lovely smile can make the news!
Love it. IT IS life saving. Thank you Matthew, new subscriber. I divorced 4 months ago, after 32 years. Getting my own life, and loving every minute of it. I don't need a man, but I want one. There is a difference. I feel ok, happy enough.
I was literally having his BREAKUP videos in my recommendation weeks before I broke up NOW I'm finding this I'm dead 😂😂
When you express yourself that way, people either don't believe it or misunderstand like we are closed to love 😊 we can still be committed to life and joy without being committed to a person.. and love, when it comes, it comes and is welcome 😊 next time I try to explain this I'll just share this video as an answer, thank you 😊
This concept is so simple and yet so powerful! Thank you
He's fantastic this world needs more people like Mathew
I'm married and I just come here for his voice. 🤣🤣
More guys should listen to Hussey. He is good teacher and gives good lesson about life, love and relationships. I encourage men to watch him
Love this so much!!! I dont want to settle for anything. I just want to enjoy my life and be with the love of my life and have some kiddos. That's good enough for me. Well if I am being honest it's all I ever wanted. To have a family and be happy with them.
Matthew is gifted. U would first think his content would be trite and boring, but he would come through as very edifying and refreshing.
Bless you, man.
1:11 my eyes wide open, me sitting on my bed screaming "YES, THANK YOU! FINALLY SOMEONE SAYS IT OMG" and spill my coffee all over my pyjama. Thank you Matt, I love you ☺️❤️
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YOU
CAN
DO
IT
HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF AND YOUR GUT AND YOUR POWER!! It’s not easy for anyone, and you are worth it!!!
You are getting actually the wisest coach I have known, Mathew. Thank you for your crucial wisdom.
❤
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I think Mr. Hussey’s advice is mostly beneficial-espec for women, who live in an echo chamber-but ‘happiness’ is best defined as ‘the byproduct of the pursuit of a worthy goal’
This gives me confidence to manage several areas of my life. Thank you
Hello my dear
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E Hunter,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌹🌹🌷🌺🌺
I do have a problem with being happy enough and not letting it be my everything.
Love the "legs under a table" - example, so true!
On a more extreme level, I’ve heard that if you’re suicidal, you cannot expect someone else to commit to you if you don’t commit to your own life. Also great advice on this video of having the legs of your life support the bigger picture of being happy enough.
I hear this ALL the time. I hate it and it makes me cringe because it makes me feel like it’s my fault. It feels like I’m doing something wrong.
Thank you for this!
Beth Miller,You are absolutely stunning 🌹🌷🌷🌺🌺
Matthew this is fantastic! This is what everyone needs to learn in order to keep themselves safe from people who would harm them (rape, sexual assault, human trafficking, abusive relationships, etc.) Because we all want love, when we get desperate, we are willing to put ourselves in dangerous situations to get some sort of "love." It's so sad but we can learn to be "happy enough" if we know how to get there. This video shows you the beginnings of how to get there! I just want to say thank you for sharing this and thank you for having the courage to help others.
Thank you so much for this video!
I cried when I heard it cause it is really painful for me to hear this fucking sentence!!! Your « enough » changes my pain in hopes and makes my life lighter!!! ❤️
Just the fact that I have a friend that was open enough to share he was very depressed and that I could understand him and we were able to talk about it. Means a lot. You just have to be okay with what you do and move forward and to be the best you can.
Idk why in the middle of this I thought about the marker scent... it’s strong! 😄
Thank you for this. I totally agree about the people who give you advice who are ALWAYS in a relationship. And just judge us single people.
Legs of the table concept earned you a like Matthew )))
Omgsh! You are really the best on RUclips! Thank you Matthew. You go full circle. Finally! Absolutely complete the picture.
So many men that I have dated, some short and some long term. I beat myself up now that I’m not with anyone thinking I messed up, I should have been able to get along or “put up” with the “lack” I was getting... I do have confidence but I’m not cocky. Easy going and non judge mental. But I never want to settle. I know what I need to feel loved and to give love back.
I know what I want and I don’t to be always wanting more from my guy. So I’m willing to wait. I’m not going to second guess anymore. I deserve the best and I know my mr right is out there somewhere wondering where I am.
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Stacey Rhodewalt, Hope you are with a good man!
Look at romantic relationships as a bonus, not the end all be all! 😉
Wow, Matthew... This video made me cry. It's so good to finally hear that I don't have to be happy being alone.
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Why are you considering happiness as a key desire, if emotion is the least stable component ever? Today you're happy and tomorrow you aren't. I'd prefer to target stability instead of happiness since the most long lasting relationships are stable. The life is much more normal and (for most people) less satisfying, because many cannot handle a boring marriage for decades. Modern world needs stability
I always taught my daughter's their importance or self worth isn't related to whether or not you are in a relationship. Too many people are weak in this way.
Wow, happy enough! This made my evening (this and the homemade hummus I just made🤣) thank you, I never got the happy alone thing. Thanks !
Happy enough, to me, equals being content, satisfied. I don't have to be deliriously happy. There's a huge difference. Thank you, Matthew, for pointing this out. Self love is the best place to start. If you love and respect yourself, you can communicate your needs, boundaries, standards and values so that a guy knows you better. He either fits in with my lifestyle or he doesn't. If he doesn't, he can GO. No harm done.
Question is who’s cutting Matthews hair during this lockdown 😂😂😂❤️
I think it's Chris Appleton, his fellow Brit and also LA-based famous hairdresser. He made him look alike with the current hair cut. Although it's great to change the hairdo occasionally, I think the Rockabilly style haircut Matt had some time ago suited him best.
Kloe B, you look stunning dear
He looks thinner, I wonder if he's been jogging more, lifting less? Always looks good and has great advice =)
@@katherinenewton73 haha this man has been looking food for years , I mean look at his shoulders alone
I'm HAPPY ENOUGH at this point in my life. I do not LOVE myself, but I do LIKE myself. I have had to WALK away from all the relationships I've been in my life. Each one of my relationships I've had were Long Term. Longest one was 12 years I'm 57 years old I have never been married and no kids.
Okay Matthew. I see what you’re doing. Your “happy enough” steps sound a whole lot like being regular happy.
You’re just trying to make the concept more palatable to people who don’t want to accept the fact/start truth that you really do need to love yourself and be happy on your own in order to be in a good place of pursuing a relationship (which happens to be 99% of people).
I’m not mad at all. Gotta put food on the table and keep the lights on. I respect (and a little bit amused by) the hustle 🙏
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Relationships .. people.. expectations to fulfill. Too complicated & too much work. Happy enough thank u !
“happy enough” is a good plan 😂
Foreshadowing to his new brilliant book into the chapter titled “Happy Enough”
This was absolutely life altering! ❤️
That’s a good point! There are different levels of happiness and that varies between people and themselves. Who’s to say what is truly happy? We can only identify our own different levels of happiness.
Good thoughts. The three in a circle.
Sabariah Innae-jeulgeoum, hope you are with a good man!
Matthew Hussey..your head and your heart are the best part of you..your emotional intelligence is beyond compare..
Matthew Hussey..you are the only person in the world who understands emotions and relationships..
Matthew Hussey..you deserve all the happiness in the world coz you make other people happy..I value you the most..I respect you the most..
Bro thank you for this 🙏🏾 this was the one I needed, my god. Whoever thought a ven diagram would be what I’m gonna decided to plaster on my wall and look at every single day with what I want and I’m gonna achieve in these three areas 😂 This was it man..you’re a damn godsend 🙏🏾💯
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Finally! Yes! You are saying the truth, those people who preach "you have to be whole, 100% happy before you meet someone" they are all in a relationship and they where not happy before their partner. My sister is in a long term relationship and made her partner her everything, she is not that type that functions well single, and she met someone, they have had difficult time and they are not always happy with eachother, then why should we have to have that standard on ourselves! Its ridiculous! Great video!
Love yourself before you love someone else
No truer words ❣️
The awkward face Matthew pulled on this topic at the beginning I also pulled before watching this video....and then the relief when I watched it! Yes Matthew! Loved this! I’m in this place and it’s nice to feel it’s enough!
Tammi Preece,You look stunning 🌹🌷🌺🌹 dear
I’m pretty sure I was talking about this concept yesterday lol...
Thank you Matthew! There are so many things here that many of us can learn from-just the easy and honest life skills. The main take away for me is to be my healthiest in all 3 areas to only attract healthy individuals. You tha best!
Loved this video! Thank you!!!! I always felt guilty that I wasn't joyfully happy being single, lol. Thank you for this concept, because I am definitely happy enough:) and now I feel relieved from the pressure to be perfectly happy all the time
Meaghan Parent,you deserve a good man!
This is exactely why we keep failing in everything we do, we think we have to be blissfully exhilarated, have all the money we want, the career, etc, etc. So in reality we keep telling ourselves that we are not enough until we achieve this state of fulfillment Nirvana! What Matthew is saying makes absolute sense, I especially liked the diagram. Stop telling yourself you are not enough, be happy enough with the life you have created...awesome.
I'm only here coz l fancy you Matt! Is that weird? It is, innit?🙄😄
same 😀
Matthew Hussey is a really interesting man 😉
If you really know its weird then maybe keep it to yourself. It's not weird to fancy him mind you, its weird to mention it like a fantasy.
@@Marisolkeys No it's not😀
He can have fan base who fancy him like fantasies 😂
What's shameful about admitting it?
The only wrong will be acting like some psycho based over fantasies 😏
Totally agree with this. There's nothing wrong with not being fully 100% happy before being in a relationship and there's nothing wrong with wanting to find someone to complete your life or be that missing piece. Longing to love and be loved is a good thing!
I wish I could do your retreats! But they’re so expensive :(
Really
I know right
How much is this one?
@@mujathepaganprepper7610 1 k
@@Womansdailyneeds that's insane! He wants our stimulus check???
To be Happy Can do by our self always.
Life Can be enjoyed on its own, What happens is not a Coincidence,but it happens at The right Time we are just balancing it and applying it to our lifestyle.