The so called negative but subjectively effective habit i use is- pushing myself through negative image. What that means is i force myself to accept a negative view of myself and then let that view haunt me so it forces me to succeed. Example: i force myself to think that im fat and unhygienic ( visualisation of jiggling fat seen through clothes ) which forces me to eat less and healthier and workout more so that i wouldnt be so self-aware about every move. Eventually that feeling becomes habit and later on it becomes adrenaline rush to push forward. The same can be applied to studying. While being lazy procrastrinator i might get a second chance if i work more on that image and eventually achieve fluid academical curve because dropping out of college now would definitely make a negative impact on any career i would try to pursue. It doesnt work for everybody but from it still can transfer from a negative mindset to more functional one which can later transcend to habit.
Also their end goal to all these aesthetics is social media presence. You can become a better version of yourself...but you have to do it for yourself and on your terms. Comparing your journey to their pics and videos isn't going to help one bit. I'm just glad I don't have social media.
@@Gerbera726 yeah .. u don't have to show the world what you're doing everyday, how exhausting!! And yeah, social media can be overwhelming sometimes, I'm glad I don't have Tok Tok.. seems over the top & wayyy too much... like social media crack!!! 😂
same with how studying is also romanticized. it makes me feel compelled to buy cute overpriced stationary and have an aesthetic desk set up in order to be productive
yes! this need to be said. loving study and wanna have a good tidy desk setup is okay but when it becomes this super perfect study aesthetic trend everyone should follow, this is a problem.
@@franciebrionesgallegos4784 yup! i agree that it can be a helpful way for us to be motivated but i think it's the materialistic aspect of romanticizing it that's a little problematic
you’re like the first person that talked about the financial aspect of participation in all these “pinterest aesthetics” , a lot of people can’t actually afford buying cute clothes or eating “healthy” and you start to feel left out and not good enough
You can buy cheap cute clothes, and eating healthy is not that expensive. The processed "healthy" foods are expensive. But I find making a salad at home is cheap.
@@ajourneywithprecious765 just because things are generally cheap at your place doesnt mean it is at everyone’s :) the dollar at my country used to be 1,500 a little over a year ago and now its equivalent 30,000. A pack of lettuce which is the most basic salad ingredient costs 20x more then what it used to cost, and its not like our salaries have changed for were raised 😂😂
@@Deletedddddddddddddddp It's the same in my country. I live in Turkey and every day the dollar exchange rate changes and our purchasing power decreases.
Yes!! I just realized I “am” that girl recently and it’s been hard to come to terms with that. I’m almost more productive than those girls but my mental health is a MESS and I don’t have nearly enough money to keep myself on this lifestyle.I keep catching myself still trying to be “her” when when in reality I’m already doing my best, and the only thing I’m searching for is an empty aesthetic that can only be achieved through wealth/genetics
I wanted to be "that girl" but then I understand that I have a family to feed and not a society to impress. You are really doing well Zoe, helping women feeling confident and proud of themselves. ILY.
1. Remember to focus on yourself too not just your family, you matter too 2. If you can’t do that ask your family every ones in a while for a 1 hour maybe more maybe less break 3. Remember you’re doing it for you not anyone else
"That girl " is living in her own universe alone, because the moment that anyone invade her world , it disrupts the perfect asthethical environment she created. That's why you never see "that girl" with friends , family or kids. It's hard to maintain that lifestyle with numerous folks living with you
Sooo true, the moment i've to plan my day and all like they do, I realise I couldn't always stick to it because of my friends, my s/o etc, because it would be awful for them to fit in a planning.
@@underwirez oh man believe me you have to. that lifestyle you have to maintain. and the clothes? i use to aim for aesthetically fashionable insta girl but soon realized no i cannot lol i don't have the energy and money 😂
When people say they want a "glow up", they need to understand that it's not just the aesthetics, but you need to change inside to truly evolve, otherwise the change was worthless.
Yeah but you also need to have the means and access to things and some people don’t live near places such as some live in food desserts with no access to healthy food.
Yes regardless of how you look and don’t let people invalidate your emotions, and needs. This is why you should make healthy and strong boundaries by making rules of who you want in your life, and don’t want in your life.
The thing with being "that girl" is that _"that girl" is the perfect woman under capitalism._ They're pretty, productive, efficient and obsessed with all of it. The pressure to be "that girl" comes from our society which idolises productive people and romanticises that "hustle" lifestyle, because that is in turn what keeps the cogs of capitalism and corporatism turning.
@@alinakudina2137 I’m not vouching for communism or saying it’s good? The political spectrum is called a _spectrum_ for a reason - it’s not a dichotomy. Criticising capitalism and corporatism doesn’t automatically make someone a communist. My maternal grandparents fled from a communist country, I’m well aware of the reality that are communist states 🇻🇳
Exactly... Currently for me being "that girl" is just eating two times a day instead of starving myself bc eating is too tiring. Or trying to go for a little walk at least four times a week, even if it's just going to the grocery store. These small things are still progress and I'm trying to stop comparing myself to rich healthy people on the internet. It is hard... But doable. Maybe it's paroxetine instead of an avocado toast, progress is progress. It's a long and extremely hard journey, not being aesthetic doesn't make it less valid. We will get better one day... It will most likely take more than we would like. But we will get there.
@@user-mh1yv3sy3e don’t say that. I’m diagnosed with depression and I do many of the things that is considered “that girl” things. I’m sure someone with some mental disorder somewhere is doing all of those things. It’s not “simply impossible” no.
don’t try to fit into an aesthetic, create your own aesthetic. do things and wear things that feel right for you, if that’s a messy room and pajamas than go for it! your happiness isn’t always what makes others happy
Imo, anybody could be "that girl" as long as they do it on their own terms. It doesn't have to be that picture perfect tik tok aesthetic, it just has to be a version where you're growing for yourself.
this is a really random thought but i think that being called “that girl” just really gives main character feels and i think that every girl posses that quality. Some of us dont bother in taking pictures and videos because it doesnt really matter, what matters is how you try to treat yourself better, and how being you at the end of the day is really important and beautiful
Hey guys, how are you doing? I cannot imagine the pressure you guys are under. I hope you soon get to a point where you don't have to work so much. Lots of love to everyone going through this!
I personally don't care about the "that girl" trend. But I am glad that people have been changing for the better, and improving themselves. I recently started working out more, and eating healthy and I feel much better already! Though I don't look better, I feel better. For me, mentally changing for the better will eventually help me be better physically. ❤️ It's all in the growth mindset~ that's how I've gotten through challenges!
SAME. The old me woukd beat myself up for not LOOKING better but I feel so good just taking better care of myself. Physical progress or not, I'm learning to LOVE me.
i’ve been “that girl” and i got a serious burnout. the lifestyle wasn’t for me, but the only reason i sort of kept going was because i told myself how many people would love to be like me (conceited, i know). i’m glad i’ve moved from that and trying to find the right lifestyle for me.
same omg, it was too much. Like I won't lie, i felt pretty good about it for a while but since I was trying the new routine during my spring break, when it was time to start school again, i felt so disorganized and gross. Like i can't really explain it any other way, i just had this obsession with being perfect and I'm so thankful im past that tbh
I didn't even realize that in the past few months I became that girl without even trying to be that girl, I just wanted to live a healthier and happier life. Here are a few of my tips based on each category Tips for self esteem and mental health: 1. Everyday look at yorself in the mirror and say loud what you love about yourself, for example I say that I love my eyes and eyebrow, I love my long thick hair etc, and then say the things I don't like about myself like my nose but at the end I say that it is still beautiful and I'm glad that I'm healthy and can do things that other people might not be able to do. and at the end I say that I'm beautiful and everyone who thinks otherwise just can't see any beauty in this world. 2. Don't do it for others, do it for yourself, doesn't matter what it is (like getting a better body, having nice skin ..) 3. reduce social media and don't follow accounts that promote all these girls with tiny waist and skinny legs (there is nothing wrong with them being skinny tho, i just realized that those pictures really put my selfesteem down) and beside that don't believe what you see in social media, because 95% of them is edited. 4. everything gets better, believe me, i used to struggle with depression and wanted to end my life many times but now I'm sooo happy that I didn't do anything stupid, because our life is so unpredictable, you never know what you gonna miss in a few years or even hours. (I legit thanked god that I didn't k*ll myself a few years ago because then I wouldnt have seen jujutsu kaisen or other great animes haha) Tips for getting fit: 1. don't change your life to become healthy, live your life as it is in a healthy way 2. I realized that doing diets and working long hours doesn't do anything, it only makes it harder to lose weight 3. eat what you want but make it healthier, for example ýou can still have pancakes but change the ingredients: instead of using sugar and flour, use honey and oat meal flower, instead of using butter and syrup as topping use fruits and agave ect. 4. You only need 20 to 50 minute of workout, because losing weight is only possible if you eat healthy 5. If you don't want to workout thats ok, just be active, like going on a walk, going up the stairs instead of using an elevator 6.Make it fun: I love dancing so I always do dance workouts (I really recommend sunny funny fitness (she also does kpop dances)) 7. Do strenght training instead of only cardio: because it builds muscles and muscles burn more fat and it also boosts your metabolism. I usually do 3 days strenght training, and the rest of the week I only go for 1 hour walk around the park 8. you can still eat what you want but in moderation, once in a week i get to eat what i want, be it ice cream or chocolate 7. drink alot of water, you can add lemons, fruits, cucumber to make it taste better 9. again, do it for yourself and not others Tips for school/uni: 1. Start early ( I know sometimes I stuggle with that too) 2. Learn how to study less but in a smarter way than long hours of study sessions. There are really good videos out there. my fav one is active recall. This way I get better grades by studying less. I literally studied for 3 weeks for my physioloy exam by only taking notes and I failed but the next time I used active recall and I got an A (I only studied for 1 week btw) 3. you don't need cute stationaries or a neat handwriting to be good at school 4. have a routine: I'm in university and I only study from monday to friday and try to get what i need to get done in those 5 days (from 9 am til 5 pm and the rest of the afternoon i have free time for my hobbies), this way on the weekends I have free time and can go out with my friends or I can use those 2 days to revise what i studied in the past five days.. other random tips: 1. everytime you buy something ask yourself ''do i need it?'' and if the answer is no, don't buy it. We buy alot of stuff that we actually don't need, instead save that money and get something that you actually need. 2. this one doesn't apply to everyone but try to live a minimal life, you don't need alot of things to be happy 3. you don't need alot of friends, just a few good ones is enough 4. if you feel alone or feel like you don't have anyone, that's ok, one day you will find someone (I'm 21 and still single T.T) i hope i could help someone, i doubt anyone read all of this
First of I love your name. Thank you for these tips, I read each and every one of them. I'm also glad you didn't do it because I would not have seen these tips today that have encouraged me so much. Much love from me and if you ever need a friend to talk to I'm here:-) . I wish you happiness and prosperity
“That girl” is just trying to force yourself to be a whole other person and it isn’t healthy. Just be yourself. Become the person you really want to be.
As a girl who is "that girl" and has been, it's not about the aesthetic and having it isn't at all the point. Sadly the actual work behind it rarely gets done, which is what would give this lifestyle meaning, and most of the time people just focus on taking pictures at the gym and denying certain aspects of this lifestyle they don't even enjoy. I wish it wasn't so important to look this lifestyle but instead emulate a healthy lifestyle that fits our personal goals, as success looks different on everyone. Trying so hard to look like this, I think, is just making people sad
This is an awesome comment! What made you want to become (what we call now) “that girl”? Of course I don’t want to call you that girl because you most likely started before the trend and for different reasons than an aesthetic, but I don’t know what else to call it. Can you tell me what was your motivation behind living a more meaningful life for yourself? I really need some motivation.
Wow thank you for this thoughtful comment. I always say I’m “that girl” on the inside. But I started to feel very insecure once it was popularized for being aesthetic. The message really did get lost and I try to remember it’s about doing your best with what you have and living a life that’s best for you
@@DestinysGrandchild-c4d Of course! I've struggled with depression and other stuff as a kid/teenager, and as I got older it got really exhausting, especially the thought that I would just grow up to be a very unhappy adult and just carry on living mediocre days lol. So I made the decision that, the minute I turned 18, I would start living life as the coolest version of myself (which again is different for everyone in their head - for me it was not letting my depression make me a lazy, grumpy and inattentive to myself person). I would be leaving my town for uni as well around that time, so it was really a chance for me to leave a lot of heavy stuff behind and start all over again! So a few months before that, I started experimenting to see what stuck; different workout routines, nutrition plans, reading on different topics to see what kind of interests I had now etc, different haircuts and style, people to be around, you name it. This is what I meant by it "being different for everyone". I concluded that I was at my happiest when I worked out consistently, had a fit figure, journaled, worked so I could spend my money on vacations and stuff with my friends, and just generally focused on doing things for myself and my wellbeing. It also kept a lot of low effort people away from me, since I was busy doing stuff for myself a lot, which really helped my mental health. So I've just stuck to that formula ever since! So, for me it's always been about treating myself kindly and living the way that gives me fullfilment :)
The that girl trend just feels exhausting especially for someone like me who deals with mental and physical health problems it's extremely hard to follow these routines you don't have to workout everyday, eating junk food once in awhile isn't terrible, you don't have to wake up at 6am everyday, etc we should be creating rountines that fit our lifestyle and not someone elses
I realized how the "that girl" was a rhetoric (to a certain degree) when a collegue shared on social media a picture of an award we both received. They made it look incredible and I saw their timeline overflowed with congratulations, while I was worrying if that was even "enough" to brag about. It was not like I became a CEO, you know. That made me understand that everyone can be that girl, once in a week, once in a month, whenever they want. You just have to choose if you want to feel worthy and inspiring. And if you don't feel like that, it's totally normal. I am still far from being free from the influence of many "that girls", but now I realize that even if I don't wake up at 5 am and I don't have the tools to make a green smoothie, I can still achieve what I want. Life is not perfect and it will never be for anyone. In the end, we are all humans. I actually admire those girls that show confidence. But I think that it is getting to the point where it triggers people to think "I should do what they do to be happy". No, you need to find what you can do to make you happy.
I actually did some digging and found out that most girls who post those aesthetic tik toks reuse a lot of footage. That kind of shattered the dream for me… Obviously because it is realistically impossible to take the extra time making something pretty taking nice photos of if and still do everything you need to get done every time. I definitely think is easier if your job is doing this as a influencer, but if you have responsibilities like a job or studies doing your hair to workout it’s not relevant in the bigger picture. Just do what you have to do, a meal is not gonna be any less healthy because it doesn’t look aesthetic.
This is so inspiring thanks for sharing your story. I started my path to reinventing myself a year ago, I'm now living healthier, confident, stronger, making 6 figures, having leisure to enjoy family &friends. I feel happier and living my life for myself. This is to encourage someone "you can start anytime to have a reset it's worth it! I'm striving to continue growing cus it's a journey❤❤️💗
@@lunamoon448 Change your mindset, read self-help books, expand knowledge, budget and don't spend on impulse, save, take your finances seriously, eat healthy, exercise your body, meditate; the list goes on... I hope it is useful to you.
@@monica64340 ¿l learnt to be frugal, minimal on spending, saving and paying myself first through Investing, made Plans, growing passive income, Read a lot of books on finance, followed my plan consistently.:)
trying to be “that girl” made me suffer from depression and anxiety few months ago, just cause i couldn’t manage to be so perfect as the girls from social media
Most of the things they promote- certain skincare or candles or food routines etc is not even available in developing countries or is way too expensive. Like an avocado is way too expensive xD
@@shivangitomar7110 i don't understand why you need to eat avocado to be healthy😒 just eat local fruits! The point is to be healthy, not to show off. I have to admit, these 'that girl' things do make me feel like crap.
even in a first world country like the U.S, “that girl” is just a few rich privileged girls. I could never afford to live the way they do but hey you don’t always need money to be productive and confident :)
"aim for the better not the best" wow omg i feel like this is everything i needed to hear thank u zoe u brought a very importante perspective of the trend
During the pandemic, I've been pushing myself so hard to become "that girl" and even though I made significant changes to my room for example or my emotional tracking trough journaling I always felt bad and unworthy because I didn't have these amazing things and decor I was seeing on videos, not to mention the amazing bodies and faces as well so my depression and anxiety got even worse because I felt I couldn't even do that well. Your video helped me a lot to realize that we're not able to be "that girl" but we're still valid anyways. Thank you so so much.
The thing that shocks me the most is that the "that girl" person is always alone. Like there are no friends or relatives they interact with and that isolation seems toxic to me after a while.
people don't always post 100% of their lives - a lot of these accounts don't want to post family and friends on their social media pages. it doesn't mean they don't interact with other people
Uhhh, I don't interact with family and friends that much too, and I'm doing quite well. How is that toxic? Sometimes, people just like the isolation. You don't have to force yourself to be alone if you don't like it. Do what makes you happy, gurl!
Yes this happened to me... It was easy to become “that girl” or keep some habits like eating healthy or exercising for a few months, but after I reached my goal of losing weight and liking my body a bit more I was like “okay now what”, and soon I let myself go and now it seems like I can’t find the motivation again... I’m scared of not achieving the same results and afraid of that weird stage of no motivation after the results 😐
Think about the fact that the main goal you had was to reach a certain goal for being "that girl" and not for you. You didn t identified with it so that s why when you ve reached it you couldn t se ethe next step. The step wasn t yours. So go back to why you chose to be "that girl" in the first place and if it doesn t obviously fit you, try changing your perspective and see what you want to do for yourself instead of what you would do just to do something. You just need to find your balance.
I’ve always seen “that girl” as more of a presentation of the collectedness and calmness within, not just an aesthetic. I see this very video as “how to be that girl” no-one is aesthetic 100% so that isn’t even on the table. “That girl” is a wonderful goal in my opinion, not just for Instagram, but to implement into your life.
Those girls were always making me feel terrible. I was like “Oh my god, why I can’t be this perfect? Why I can’t look like this? Why I can’t be this productive?” But then I understood the most important is to live your life, listen to your mind and heart, do what you need and when you need
This changed my perspective of looking at my own self.... I shouldn't judge myself like I always did that 'that girls' are pretty, skinny and they do this and that and whatever but I don't but I should be thankful of what I am getting and it means alot..... Thanks Zoe 💜
I love your point about how it is often the ugly moments in life which challenge us the most and promote the most growth. Really well said, and good to remember. Thank you!
What made me realize the toxicity in this aesthetic is when I actually did it myself. I did everything, I ate healthy, worked out, upped my hygiene game, etc etc. I was still depressed, I was still unhappy. I'm still "that girl", but it didn't solve what I thought it would solve.
Good on you for making the healthy choices! But yes, I think there's a mental aspect to all of this that gets overlooked. And I think some people try to follow the trend not to improve themselves and their quality of life, but to promote the aestheric lifestyle. They literally turn themselves into a brand and then wonder why they're unhappy. I think the concept is great. Healthy active lifestyles are good. But don't do it for anyone other than yourself.
This was a very insightful video, I have seen lots of these “that girl” video and everything you mentioned in this video is exactly how I feel towards the trend. Trying to create your life based off a trend is not only unrealistic but also be harmful. Instead of it making your life better, it can create room for insecurities, unnecessary consumerism and just a desperation to fit in.
im the girl that.. 1- sleeps at 3-5 am and wakes up at 12-1 pm 2- watches a lot of dramas almost the whole day 3- simply studies 1 language for like 30 minutes 4- always eats in her room alone unless its lunch 5- only works out for like 30-40 minutes everyday (if i don't i either do nothing or dance instead) 6- if i had to read i read webtoons rather than books 7- barely takes care of her skin 8- makes comments on youtube like right now (my whole life in a nutshell unless i go out to shop or the grocery store) oh and not to mention im never gonna be "that girl" for many reasons but mainly cause i don't want to wake up at like 6 in the morning like..school already made me do that im not making that my lifestyle ty unless its 8-9 am then im fine
I like who I am right now but I also feel like there are lots of things I could improve to become a better version of myself. But it also feels like it's hard to do that when you're still living with family, where habits are not only your own.
Zoey babe, you aren't "that girl", you are "the girl" that helps everyone, telling us how it really is, but how we can improve upon these things, motivation, and inspiration. Tell me ya ain't as perfect as a human can be, I dare ya. Haha. Seriously your videos have helped me so much. THANK YOU! ❤️
She actually stated the real points and she actually made me realise that I don't need to fit into the norms of these beauty videos . Thank you so much for this video Zoe ❤️❤️
"it's so easy to focus on the form rather than the substance" Summarised one of my biggest annoyances with internet culture in one sentence, way better than I could.
I like to take concepts and adjust them for myself and my needs and opportunities. "That girl", as you said, is a fairly positive concept itself, aimed at improving life. I don't like this kind of decor, I don't like avocados and matcha latte, I prefer dancing to the gym, etc. You can customize and romanticize anything you want, just do what makes you happy, and you obviously don't need to be "that girl" for that, you surely need to be yourself!!
what I absolutely love about this video is that you're being genuinely insightful. you take your time to evaluate the positives and negatives WITHOUT bashing those that do portray or live by this lifestyle - something that is rare to find on social media these days lol !
I was literally "that girl" for long time, just without proving it to everybody everyday on sm, and now I somehow don't do any of this stuff?? like it was imposible for me to imagine my life without healthy food, workouts, daily achievements etc. In my life there was no question I ever stop doing it, bc it was just how I was, and some day I just stopped? Like one day I woke up and decided to eat chocolate for breakfast and didn't feel guilty about it, worked out only as a walk, or stayed bed all day and didn't feel like it was a break just a normal life? Idk. But I know I had times where I was pushing myself, I was making myself feel guilty and ashamed for eating something, not working out, or procrastinating. I also think the phase I am now isn't 100% okay bc I literally do almost nothing for 2nd nor 3rd month, but the thing is I don't feel guilty about it and it makes me feel even healthier (in some type of way) than when I was "that girl", that's weird.
Yessssssss I agree bc no one is perfect and it’s important to find your own happiness to be yourself to find what you like to do as long as you are happy and enjoy it
I love this! I’ve been feeling that pressure of being that girl, even though I’m trying so hard to be a little productive day by day. I keep thinking it’s never gonna be enough like that, and this video reminds me to be more realistic. Thank you!
Last year during quarantine, I feel like I was “that girl” minus the aesthetic theme. Now that it’s become like trendy with all these rules and kind of expectations of what my breakfast should look like and what my morning aesthetic should look like, I find it a little unmotivating to be productive this summer like how I was last summer. I used to love watching other peoples productivity videos, but now they all look the same with the “that girl” title in the description, it’s really hard to have originality and just a basic morning without feeling guilty. On the productivity side of RUclips all we are being fed is the same morning routine with the same aesthetic breakfast and the same workout routine in the same workout outfit. It makes me feel like almost unsettled for not living my life the exact same way, even though I know I can’t always live like that.
One of the tiktok videos in the beginning is mine and tbh I never realized how big of a trend this ‘that girl’ thing was until now. As someone who’s been living that kind of lifestyle for a long time, long before this whole trend even started, I personally think it shouldn’t only be about the aesthetic, like yeah I like having cute things and I’ve always cared about having nice things but it’s not about that. It’s just about living a healthier and a happier life. Obviously for me that includes eating healthy, working out and stuff like that but it could mean something different to other people. And if this trend is not for you, that’s okay too. It’s not for everyone. Just do what feels right for you. For me being “that girl” is just about being the best version of myself, focusing on my own life and my goals, being happy and healthy. But I believe you can become the best version of yourself without being ‘that girl’ and without your life looking this way.
Yes this is so true, it’s not for everyone and personally I don’t mind this if a person is doing this for themselves and not for the aesthetics of society
Thank you so much for this video! Once I actually wanted to cry while watching this video. I have bpd (borderline personality disorder) and I always see myself as "bad" or "not good enough" and this kinda gave me hope. I always say things like "this girl is so pretty, i want to be like her" just because i see her instagram pictures but I know the reality can be very different. And usually i just feel bad and i do not have motivation to start exercise or go for a walk but now i feel much stronger. I want to recover and feel better, I hope it is gonna happen soon.
noticed that ice cube analogy lately! I'm a rock climber and I have been sitting "in freezing" at one grade for. three. years. Then recently I got just "above freezing" and out of nowhere bumped up nearly two. Consistency IS KEY.
I swear I never felt so motivated before, Battling with depression and anxiety for a year now, trying to get my life back together hasn't been much of a success because as every one else I also chased the aesthetic life of "that girl" I owe you a lot sis ❤️ thank you so much love from india
You're so satisfying and also realist to hear at the same time Seeing your videos feel like watching a better version of a better world. Wish you a happy and healthy life that's filled with your chef's kiss sense of humor (which is chaotic and calm at the same time) All the best girl 💙💖
Thanks for bringing me back to reality. I don't even like "that girl" aesthetic, I prefer slightly different things but it was so ingrained in my mind to be a "gold standard" for life. Insane
CONCLUSION (in my opinion): 1. romanticize your OWN life. if that lifestyle maches you - go for it 2. remember that is always has balance 80/20 (80 - into routine, 20 - not) 3. create a better version FOR YOURSELF, not for social media or others, just shine and achieve goals that only yours🥰
Truly. The 90% work that goes behind being “that girl” is what we all must aspire for. Camera or no camera. That’s the win🌸🥺💜 and you look cute as heck!!🥰
Thank you for this !! I started having this realization recently about homecooked meals. My meals are healthy but they dont look esthetic. I used to feel guilty for that but not anymore, I just never realized how perfect pictures of plates somehow made me feel bad about my cooking.
i tried this during my spring break this year and it is EXHAUSTING, like yeah, i felt good about myself etc etc but after a while it feels like a huge pressure to have every neat, aesthetic, organized, healthy. Its a lot. At that time i was so obsessed with having everything perfect that looking back now, it wasn't ideal or nice at all.
i was spinning off into the rabbit hole of 'that girl' and it was making me feel exactly what this video talked about: the messy, un-beautiful sides of everyday life made me feel like i couldn't be 'that girl', plus me being an asian and not a skinny white person. this video saved me lol, it made me realize i could still do all those things in those tiktoks but fit it to MY lifestyle, MY needs, and what *I* want, and still feel pretty and still feel like i'm improving myself. edit: also i had a bunch of things in my amazon cart due to me falling into the rabbit hole and getting too caught up in the aesthetics, and after this i deleted most things, and i saved myself a hundred bucks :D
Ever since I started watching Zoe and Lana Blakely, I’ve realized becoming “that girl” isn’t about making your life look like Pinterest, it’s about improving yourself to become the best version
Some quotes I would love to drop.. 1."One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again." 2."Don't go through life, grow through life." 3."Be patient with yourself. You are growing stronger every day. The weight of the world will become lighter...and you will begin to shine brighter. Don't give up." 4."Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it's holy ground. There's no greater investment." Feel free to share your quotes🌼🤍
I think its interesting how I gave up becoming "that girl" from the very beginning because of my background with my family and how unattainable it just felt. Ever since I was a teen, I've always known I could never be "that girl" so I never even dared to try blend into the mix, which honestly has just made me a lot more aware and understanding of my situation.
I sincerely am happy that you put the words to what I have been feeling the past weeks that I am starting to get my life together. At first, I felt like I cannot achieve the life I want without the financial burden part. I just started to realize now that I can be my own version of "that girl" by being resourceful and that I don't need to make drastic changes or spend lots of money.
i wish i knew u irl TT u would have been the friend i always needed and never had. Thank you so much for making these videos they have really helped with my self esteem an ED, it all has gotten so much better now.
i love this perspective. i needed something different because it wasn’t too long ago that i felt like “that girl”. i started seeing results like defined abs and muscle growth in my thighs, ate fairly clean, was good at managing my time, etc. but when this all came to a sudden stop there was no substance to it besides the end goal. i got abs, sick…now what? i made it…so there was not enough reason to keep going. then i stop and my abs are no longer defined and i start to wonder what happened. thanks to you i realize that i was “aiming for the destination and not the journey”. it’s so true because once i got there i was done! i loved every point that you made but another point that stuck with me is the identity complex that turns words into actions into habits. thank you for bringing awareness to this topic and sharing the bad along with the good!!
okay i haven’t even started watching, but the title 🤌🏽 period!!! I LOVE IT! SO TRUE! YOU DONT NEED TO BECOME “that girl”! Cant wait to watch!!!! Love your videos!!
FINALLY i see someone talking about this topic, thank you thank you thank you, i wanna do a video talking about this too bc i think that we all should have our own life style not other person’s lifestyle
Your words nearly made me cry bcuz my life has been going downhill since I graduated high school. Thank you for helping me realize that even I can change for better with small steps. Thanks❤
I like how you mentioned money in the beginning of this video I completely understand what if people don’t have that money like not a lot of people have money like that it’s very hard some people have to keep to jobs and it’s very hard 🥺
![Shenseea - Dating Szn (Options) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/eUePmZFIXUg/mqdefault.jpg)
Hope you guys liked this video! I’d love to learn what are some of YOUR favorite tips for self improvement?✨🌱
6 mins 298 views 103 likes 0 dislikes
we love the video... Love from India to Zoe
My first tip is looking your videos gg.
Te amo saludos desde argentina 🇦🇷♥️♥️
Love your videos Zoe keep going💪❤️
The so called negative but subjectively effective habit i use is- pushing myself through negative image. What that means is i force myself to accept a negative view of myself and then let that view haunt me so it forces me to succeed.
Example: i force myself to think that im fat and unhygienic ( visualisation of jiggling fat seen through clothes ) which forces me to eat less and healthier and workout more so that i wouldnt be so self-aware about every move. Eventually that feeling becomes habit and later on it becomes adrenaline rush to push forward. The same can be applied to studying. While being lazy procrastrinator i might get a second chance if i work more on that image and eventually achieve fluid academical curve because dropping out of college now would definitely make a negative impact on any career i would try to pursue.
It doesnt work for everybody but from it still can transfer from a negative mindset to more functional one which can later transcend to habit.
I never even had a chance of being 'that girl' because i am allergic to avocados
Hilarious! :-)
Literally lol’d
Your comment made my day ! Thank you
Best comment😂
why is this so funny 😭😭 I’m sorry
Moral of the story: Become your girl not "that girl"
Love this 🙌🏼
preach!! :3
♥️
Thank youuuu
Or simply: just be a girl. Doesn't matter what kind, us women come in all shapes, sizes, and lifestyles 😌
“That girl” just takes good pictures.
Also their end goal to all these aesthetics is social media presence. You can become a better version of yourself...but you have to do it for yourself and on your terms. Comparing your journey to their pics and videos isn't going to help one bit. I'm just glad I don't have social media.
@@Gerbera726 yeah .. u don't have to show the world what you're doing everyday, how exhausting!! And yeah, social media can be overwhelming sometimes, I'm glad I don't have Tok Tok.. seems over the top & wayyy too much... like social media crack!!! 😂
🤣🤣🤣
🙋🏻♀️Yes! 😂
So true
same with how studying is also romanticized. it makes me feel compelled to buy cute overpriced stationary and have an aesthetic desk set up in order to be productive
Yup! And of course on the desk there is a huge computer screen, iPad , laptop and other stuff that is a must to study 😂
yes! this need to be said. loving study and wanna have a good tidy desk setup is okay but when it becomes this super perfect study aesthetic trend everyone should follow, this is a problem.
in my case, romanticizing my studies has actually helped me a lot
@@franciebrionesgallegos4784 yup! i agree that it can be a helpful way for us to be motivated but i think it's the materialistic aspect of romanticizing it that's a little problematic
@@turtleshell8835 you're right, we have to make use of what we already have. it can be tempting to buy new things just for the aesthetics
you’re like the first person that talked about the financial aspect of participation in all these “pinterest aesthetics” , a lot of people can’t actually afford buying cute clothes or eating “healthy” and you start to feel left out and not good enough
You can buy cheap cute clothes, and eating healthy is not that expensive. The processed "healthy" foods are expensive. But I find making a salad at home is cheap.
@@ajourneywithprecious765 just because things are generally cheap at your place doesnt mean it is at everyone’s :) the dollar at my country used to be 1,500 a little over a year ago and now its equivalent 30,000. A pack of lettuce which is the most basic salad ingredient costs 20x more then what it used to cost, and its not like our salaries have changed for were raised 😂😂
@@Deletedddddddddddddddp It's the same in my country. I live in Turkey and every day the dollar exchange rate changes and our purchasing power decreases.
Yes!!! As a poor person I felt so seen 😭
Couldn’t have worded it better 💯
It shouldn’t be about being “that girl” it should be about being a better, healthier, happier, version of yourself
yess!
🙌🏻 amen sistah 🙋🏻♀️☀️
This!! ✨
Yes!! I just realized I “am” that girl recently and it’s been hard to come to terms with that. I’m almost more productive than those girls but my mental health is a MESS and I don’t have nearly enough money to keep myself on this lifestyle.I keep catching myself still trying to be “her” when when in reality I’m already doing my best, and the only thing I’m searching for is an empty aesthetic that can only be achieved through wealth/genetics
So... that girl
I wanted to be "that girl" but then I understand that I have a family to feed and not a society to impress. You are really doing well Zoe, helping women feeling confident and proud of themselves. ILY.
Same
remember to do it for yourself not for others
1. Remember to focus on yourself too not just your family, you matter too
2. If you can’t do that ask your family every ones in a while for a 1 hour maybe more maybe less break
3. Remember you’re doing it for you not anyone else
Sameeee
Well said
This makes me feel like a strong independent woman, and I'm a 14 year old boy
Congratulations on that, and btw I love your pfp
Im proud of u for watching & widening your perspective
Thanks for watching this, bud
Pretty amazing
JFAIDISFID MOOD
"That girl " is living in her own universe alone, because the moment that anyone invade her world , it disrupts the perfect asthethical environment she created. That's why you never see "that girl" with friends , family or kids. It's hard to maintain that lifestyle with numerous folks living with you
Sooo true, the moment i've to plan my day and all like they do, I realise I couldn't always stick to it because of my friends, my s/o etc, because it would be awful for them to fit in a planning.
True story! I have a child and I don't understand how to be "that girl" with toddler 😁
@@НастасьяГолубкова I’m in the same boat; guess we’ll have to learn to love how chaotic are lives are 😂
Omg, yes! when something went out of my planning I got mad, this is crazy
True i found myself in this
Gen z’s criticizing consumerism culture makes me so happy
Sad that this one come from gen z too :( but it's good, we're critical of ourselves
Jestem 00 i też tego nienawidzę 😂
Yassss let’s all live a fulfilled life without glorifying consumerism as a solution.
@a_fever_dream ♡ fr i have a hate-love relationship with my generation
@@klarak9195 omg Polka :0 ja jestem 05 i staram sie zmienic troche podejscie do zycia osob w moim otoczeniu ^^
once i realised the "that girl" thing was pretty much ❤be rich❤ I completely forgot about it
😂 yes! 🤔 the background or the house is always impeccably furnished and decorated 🤔
EXACTLY!!!
RIGHT. The groceries ALONE would have me broke. 😂
you dont have to be rich to be that girl
@@underwirez oh man believe me you have to. that lifestyle you have to maintain. and the clothes? i use to aim for aesthetically fashionable insta girl but soon realized no i cannot lol i don't have the energy and money 😂
When people say they want a "glow up", they need to understand that it's not just the aesthetics, but you need to change inside to truly evolve, otherwise the change was worthless.
I did have a glow up
14-16. But no one recognizes ME!
😰. You win some you loose some ig 💀
Yeah but you also need to have the means and access to things and some people don’t live near places such as some live in food desserts with no access to healthy food.
Eai Barney, bora tomar umas lá no bar 🍻
@@kpopperqualquer221 claro, a qualquer hora, eu só quero uma citrus com uma brahma
@@barneypaodoce só vamo
Let's be thin, let's be thick, we're beautiful, right?
Hey🖐️
ARMY I LOVE YOU
@ᴄʜᴀᴇʀᴀᴍᴇʟ ᴍɪʟᴋ ᴛᴀᴇ fr
Yes regardless of how you look and don’t let people invalidate your emotions, and needs. This is why you should make healthy and strong boundaries by making rules of who you want in your life, and don’t want in your life.
@ᴄʜᴀᴇʀᴀᴍᴇʟ ᴍɪʟᴋ ᴛᴀᴇ IKR
The thing with being "that girl" is that _"that girl" is the perfect woman under capitalism._ They're pretty, productive, efficient and obsessed with all of it. The pressure to be "that girl" comes from our society which idolises productive people and romanticises that "hustle" lifestyle, because that is in turn what keeps the cogs of capitalism and corporatism turning.
True. Cause under communism you are busy surviving *just a note from post-communist country citizen*
well-said. i couldn't say it better myself.
@@alinakudina2137 I’m not vouching for communism or saying it’s good? The political spectrum is called a _spectrum_ for a reason - it’s not a dichotomy. Criticising capitalism and corporatism doesn’t automatically make someone a communist. My maternal grandparents fled from a communist country, I’m well aware of the reality that are communist states 🇻🇳
Yes. And the most ironic is that most of these girls don't have a job, what make much easier to accomplish that kind of life.
Damn you really said let me spill all this tea in a single paragraph I couldn't have said it better
As a person with depression I must say the "that girl" trend is so frustrating and I had a lot of breakdowns because of it.
Me too
Yeah the that girl lifestyle is simply impossible for those with mental illness
Exactly... Currently for me being "that girl" is just eating two times a day instead of starving myself bc eating is too tiring. Or trying to go for a little walk at least four times a week, even if it's just going to the grocery store. These small things are still progress and I'm trying to stop comparing myself to rich healthy people on the internet. It is hard... But doable. Maybe it's paroxetine instead of an avocado toast, progress is progress. It's a long and extremely hard journey, not being aesthetic doesn't make it less valid. We will get better one day... It will most likely take more than we would like. But we will get there.
As some one with ocd, I do too, because I feel like I MUST have the exact same or I'm nothing.
@@user-mh1yv3sy3e don’t say that. I’m diagnosed with depression and I do many of the things that is considered “that girl” things. I’m sure someone with some mental disorder somewhere is doing all of those things. It’s not “simply impossible” no.
don’t try to fit into an aesthetic, create your own aesthetic. do things and wear things that feel right for you, if that’s a messy room and pajamas than go for it! your happiness isn’t always what makes others happy
You don’t know how much I needed to hear this, thank you.
@@rayshachowdhury8566 awe, it’s no problem! go be you,
i feel rlly happy when i wear cute big clothes and also when my room isnt messy. but like i cant even get a room cuz our house is small
Yass, every girl or even boy is different!!!!!!!
Ur comment just >>>>>>>>♡♡♡
i think we can all agree that we need and WANT a friend like zoe >.
Uhhhh yeah
✋
We already have her as one ❤️
Yes yes I really want a friend like zoe
💜💜
Imo, anybody could be "that girl" as long as they do it on their own terms. It doesn't have to be that picture perfect tik tok aesthetic, it just has to be a version where you're growing for yourself.
Blimy
Perfectly Said💗
@@rory6789 ty :)
thank you for saying this !
@@dessa05 of course :)
this is a really random thought but i think that being called “that girl” just really gives main character feels and i think that every girl posses that quality. Some of us dont bother in taking pictures and videos because it doesnt really matter, what matters is how you try to treat yourself better, and how being you at the end of the day is really important and beautiful
I genuinely dont have time to be “that girl” even if I wanted to be. Working 10 hr days I’m lucky to make anything other than pasta for dinner.
Omg same
Add in those overhours at work so you're at 12-15h at work a day... and boom one cannot do an aesthetic life
Hey guys, how are you doing? I cannot imagine the pressure you guys are under. I hope you soon get to a point where you don't have to work so much. Lots of love to everyone going through this!
That used to be me, I ate nothing but pasta for lunch everyday 🍝
666 likes, hehe.
I personally don't care about the "that girl" trend. But I am glad that people have been changing for the better, and improving themselves.
I recently started working out more, and eating healthy and I feel much better already! Though I don't look better, I feel better. For me, mentally changing for the better will eventually help me be better physically. ❤️
It's all in the growth mindset~ that's how I've gotten through challenges!
That’s such good progress!!! Keep going!
totally agree!!
Now this this ladies is a mindset of a winner
SAME. The old me woukd beat myself up for not LOOKING better but I feel so good just taking better care of myself. Physical progress or not, I'm learning to LOVE me.
@@samanthastanley2647 Good for you! You got this~ ❤️
i’ve been “that girl” and i got a serious burnout. the lifestyle wasn’t for me, but the only reason i sort of kept going was because i told myself how many people would love to be like me (conceited, i know). i’m glad i’ve moved from that and trying to find the right lifestyle for me.
same omg, it was too much. Like I won't lie, i felt pretty good about it for a while but since I was trying the new routine during my spring break, when it was time to start school again, i felt so disorganized and gross. Like i can't really explain it any other way, i just had this obsession with being perfect and I'm so thankful im past that tbh
my lifestyle is essentially hoodies and naps heh
I didn't even realize that in the past few months I became that girl without even trying to be that girl, I just wanted to live a healthier and happier life. Here are a few of my tips based on each category
Tips for self esteem and mental health:
1. Everyday look at yorself in the mirror and say loud what you love about yourself, for example I say that I love my eyes and eyebrow, I love my long thick hair etc, and then say the things I don't like about myself like my nose but at the end I say that it is still beautiful and I'm glad that I'm healthy and can do things that other people might not be able to do. and at the end I say that I'm beautiful and everyone who thinks otherwise just can't see any beauty in this world.
2. Don't do it for others, do it for yourself, doesn't matter what it is (like getting a better body, having nice skin ..)
3. reduce social media and don't follow accounts that promote all these girls with tiny waist and skinny legs (there is nothing wrong with them being skinny tho, i just realized that those pictures really put my selfesteem down) and beside that don't believe what you see in social media, because 95% of them is edited.
4. everything gets better, believe me, i used to struggle with depression and wanted to end my life many times but now I'm sooo happy that I didn't do anything stupid, because our life is so unpredictable, you never know what you gonna miss in a few years or even hours. (I legit thanked god that I didn't k*ll myself a few years ago because then I wouldnt have seen jujutsu kaisen or other great animes haha)
Tips for getting fit:
1. don't change your life to become healthy, live your life as it is in a healthy way
2. I realized that doing diets and working long hours doesn't do anything, it only makes it harder to lose weight
3. eat what you want but make it healthier, for example ýou can still have pancakes but change the ingredients: instead of using sugar and flour, use honey and oat meal flower, instead of using butter and syrup as topping use fruits and agave ect.
4. You only need 20 to 50 minute of workout, because losing weight is only possible if you eat healthy
5. If you don't want to workout thats ok, just be active, like going on a walk, going up the stairs instead of using an elevator
6.Make it fun: I love dancing so I always do dance workouts (I really recommend sunny funny fitness (she also does kpop dances))
7. Do strenght training instead of only cardio: because it builds muscles and muscles burn more fat and it also boosts your metabolism. I usually do 3 days strenght training, and the rest of the week I only go for 1 hour walk around the park
8. you can still eat what you want but in moderation, once in a week i get to eat what i want, be it ice cream or chocolate
7. drink alot of water, you can add lemons, fruits, cucumber to make it taste better
9. again, do it for yourself and not others
Tips for school/uni:
1. Start early ( I know sometimes I stuggle with that too)
2. Learn how to study less but in a smarter way than long hours of study sessions. There are really good videos out there. my fav one is active recall. This way I get better grades by studying less. I literally studied for 3 weeks for my physioloy exam by only taking notes and I failed but the next time I used active recall and I got an A (I only studied for 1 week btw)
3. you don't need cute stationaries or a neat handwriting to be good at school
4. have a routine: I'm in university and I only study from monday to friday and try to get what i need to get done in those 5 days (from 9 am til 5 pm and the rest of the afternoon i have free time for my hobbies), this way on the weekends I have free time and can go out with my friends or I can use those 2 days to revise what i studied in the past five days..
other random tips:
1. everytime you buy something ask yourself ''do i need it?'' and if the answer is no, don't buy it. We buy alot of stuff that we actually don't need, instead save that money and get something that you actually need.
2. this one doesn't apply to everyone but try to live a minimal life, you don't need alot of things to be happy
3. you don't need alot of friends, just a few good ones is enough
4. if you feel alone or feel like you don't have anyone, that's ok, one day you will find someone (I'm 21 and still single T.T)
i hope i could help someone, i doubt anyone read all of this
First of I love your name. Thank you for these tips, I read each and every one of them. I'm also glad you didn't do it because I would not have seen these tips today that have encouraged me so much. Much love from me and if you ever need a friend to talk to I'm here:-) . I wish you happiness and prosperity
@@joynatasha375 Thank you, I'm glad I could help
Thanks for sharing 🥰🥰
thank you so much!!!!!! i love these tips
thank you :))
“That girl” is just trying to force yourself to be a whole other person and it isn’t healthy. Just be yourself. Become the person you really want to be.
~ ~ "Growth and improvements were never the 'prettiest' moments of my life." ~ ~ (Thank you for this!)
Thankyou for normalising that every one is different and we don't need to be that girl. Your voice , your knowledge has changed my thinking. ❤️
💛
No like honestly
As a girl who is "that girl" and has been, it's not about the aesthetic and having it isn't at all the point. Sadly the actual work behind it rarely gets done, which is what would give this lifestyle meaning, and most of the time people just focus on taking pictures at the gym and denying certain aspects of this lifestyle they don't even enjoy. I wish it wasn't so important to look this lifestyle but instead emulate a healthy lifestyle that fits our personal goals, as success looks different on everyone. Trying so hard to look like this, I think, is just making people sad
So true
yes yes yes!
This is an awesome comment! What made you want to become (what we call now) “that girl”? Of course I don’t want to call you that girl because you most likely started before the trend and for different reasons than an aesthetic, but I don’t know what else to call it. Can you tell me what was your motivation behind living a more meaningful life for yourself? I really need some motivation.
Wow thank you for this thoughtful comment. I always say I’m “that girl” on the inside. But I started to feel very insecure once it was popularized for being aesthetic. The message really did get lost and I try to remember it’s about doing your best with what you have and living a life that’s best for you
@@DestinysGrandchild-c4d Of course! I've struggled with depression and other stuff as a kid/teenager, and as I got older it got really exhausting, especially the thought that I would just grow up to be a very unhappy adult and just carry on living mediocre days lol. So I made the decision that, the minute I turned 18, I would start living life as the coolest version of myself (which again is different for everyone in their head - for me it was not letting my depression make me a lazy, grumpy and inattentive to myself person). I would be leaving my town for uni as well around that time, so it was really a chance for me to leave a lot of heavy stuff behind and start all over again! So a few months before that, I started experimenting to see what stuck; different workout routines, nutrition plans, reading on different topics to see what kind of interests I had now etc, different haircuts and style, people to be around, you name it. This is what I meant by it "being different for everyone". I concluded that I was at my happiest when I worked out consistently, had a fit figure, journaled, worked so I could spend my money on vacations and stuff with my friends, and just generally focused on doing things for myself and my wellbeing. It also kept a lot of low effort people away from me, since I was busy doing stuff for myself a lot, which really helped my mental health. So I've just stuck to that formula ever since! So, for me it's always been about treating myself kindly and living the way that gives me fullfilment :)
The that girl trend just feels exhausting especially for someone like me who deals with mental and physical health problems it's extremely hard to follow these routines you don't have to workout everyday, eating junk food once in awhile isn't terrible, you don't have to wake up at 6am everyday, etc we should be creating rountines that fit our lifestyle and not someone elses
THIS
"align your identity with your actions"
Gonna be my now motto
I realized how the "that girl" was a rhetoric (to a certain degree) when a collegue shared on social media a picture of an award we both received. They made it look incredible and I saw their timeline overflowed with congratulations, while I was worrying if that was even "enough" to brag about. It was not like I became a CEO, you know. That made me understand that everyone can be that girl, once in a week, once in a month, whenever they want. You just have to choose if you want to feel worthy and inspiring. And if you don't feel like that, it's totally normal. I am still far from being free from the influence of many "that girls", but now I realize that even if I don't wake up at 5 am and I don't have the tools to make a green smoothie, I can still achieve what I want. Life is not perfect and it will never be for anyone. In the end, we are all humans. I actually admire those girls that show confidence. But I think that it is getting to the point where it triggers people to think "I should do what they do to be happy".
No, you need to find what you can do to make you happy.
As a dude, hell yeah
I actually did some digging and found out that most girls who post those aesthetic tik toks reuse a lot of footage. That kind of shattered the dream for me… Obviously because it is realistically impossible to take the extra time making something pretty taking nice photos of if and still do everything you need to get done every time. I definitely think is easier if your job is doing this as a influencer, but if you have responsibilities like a job or studies doing your hair to workout it’s not relevant in the bigger picture. Just do what you have to do, a meal is not gonna be any less healthy because it doesn’t look aesthetic.
Oh wow! Footage 🤭 That is good to know!! 🤔
And these people mostly all photo shop and living fake lives.
Let's take a minute to appreciate Zoe's outfit.✋🍡
here before this blows up.. 👀👀👀🤞🏼
🙈LOVE YOU💜
Yaahhhhh my fav youtubers😍😍😍
@@akalyaselvaraj2454 same omgg!
I wasnt here yet, but i’m glad I found this in my recommendations! And Zoe has got a new sub!!
This is so inspiring thanks for sharing your story. I started my path to reinventing myself a year ago, I'm now living healthier, confident, stronger, making 6 figures, having leisure to enjoy family &friends. I feel happier and living my life for myself. This is to encourage someone "you can start anytime to have a reset it's worth it! I'm striving to continue growing cus it's a journey❤❤️💗
Congratulations sis! Thanks for encouraging others with your story, I will love to get tips from you too.
@@lunamoon448 Change your mindset, read self-help books, expand knowledge, budget and don't spend on impulse, save, take your finances seriously, eat healthy, exercise your body, meditate; the list goes on... I hope it is useful to you.
@@juliet800 How did you grow to 6 Figure? I'm honestly trying to work on my personal finance this year.
Congratulations to you Juliet keep it going👍👍👍
@@monica64340 ¿l learnt to be frugal, minimal on spending, saving and paying myself first through Investing, made Plans, growing passive income, Read a lot of books on finance, followed my plan consistently.:)
trying to be “that girl” made me suffer from depression and anxiety few months ago, just cause i couldn’t manage to be so perfect as the girls from social media
The point of "That Girl" is being of best version of you. Not try to be the girls from social media.
"that girl" is such a first world thing. one advantage of living in a developing country i guess:")
Nah even in a first world country being “that girl” is just unrealistic
Everyone has there own problems i guess. I'm poor so i can't be that girl so i don't even care.
Most of the things they promote- certain skincare or candles or food routines etc is not even available in developing countries or is way too expensive. Like an avocado is way too expensive xD
@@shivangitomar7110 i don't understand why you need to eat avocado to be healthy😒 just eat local fruits! The point is to be healthy, not to show off. I have to admit, these 'that girl' things do make me feel like crap.
even in a first world country like the U.S, “that girl” is just a few rich privileged girls. I could never afford to live the way they do but hey you don’t always need money to be productive and confident :)
"aim for the better not the best" wow omg i feel like this is everything i needed to hear thank u zoe u brought a very importante perspective of the trend
During the pandemic, I've been pushing myself so hard to become "that girl" and even though I made significant changes to my room for example or my emotional tracking trough journaling I always felt bad and unworthy because I didn't have these amazing things and decor I was seeing on videos, not to mention the amazing bodies and faces as well so my depression and anxiety got even worse because I felt I couldn't even do that well.
Your video helped me a lot to realize that we're not able to be "that girl" but we're still valid anyways. Thank you so so much.
Yesss
This makes me feel so much better. I’ve really struggled with perfectionism and didn’t know I needed to hear this. Thank you :))
The thing that shocks me the most is that the "that girl" person is always alone. Like there are no friends or relatives they interact with and that isolation seems toxic to me after a while.
never thought about that but after reading your comment i think its a good observation
@@celiagriffa5229 same
people don't always post 100% of their lives - a lot of these accounts don't want to post family and friends on their social media pages. it doesn't mean they don't interact with other people
i don’t think being alone by choice is toxic
Uhhh, I don't interact with family and friends that much too, and I'm doing quite well. How is that toxic? Sometimes, people just like the isolation. You don't have to force yourself to be alone if you don't like it. Do what makes you happy, gurl!
Yes this happened to me... It was easy to become “that girl” or keep some habits like eating healthy or exercising for a few months, but after I reached my goal of losing weight and liking my body a bit more I was like “okay now what”, and soon I let myself go and now it seems like I can’t find the motivation again... I’m scared of not achieving the same results and afraid of that weird stage of no motivation after the results 😐
I wish the best for you sis ❤
set a goal without expectations, do it for yourself and not to reach a "result"
I can relate to that like it's good when you have goal but what when you achieved that goal
Think about the fact that the main goal you had was to reach a certain goal for being "that girl" and not for you. You didn t identified with it so that s why when you ve reached it you couldn t se ethe next step. The step wasn t yours. So go back to why you chose to be "that girl" in the first place and if it doesn t obviously fit you, try changing your perspective and see what you want to do for yourself instead of what you would do just to do something. You just need to find your balance.
Finally someone who talks about “that girl” ‘s toxicity. Also glad that u emphasized the positive part of it❤️ You go girl!😍
I’ve always seen “that girl” as more of a presentation of the collectedness and calmness within, not just an aesthetic. I see this very video as “how to be that girl” no-one is aesthetic 100% so that isn’t even on the table. “That girl” is a wonderful goal in my opinion, not just for Instagram, but to implement into your life.
Yess!
It is an aesthetic tho. I think you missed the whole point of the video.
Those girls were always making me feel terrible. I was like “Oh my god, why I can’t be this perfect? Why I can’t look like this? Why I can’t be this productive?” But then I understood the most important is to live your life, listen to your mind and heart, do what you need and when you need
We need "that girl" fails....
This changed my perspective of looking at my own self.... I shouldn't judge myself like I always did that 'that girls' are pretty, skinny and they do this and that and whatever but I don't but I should be thankful of what I am getting and it means alot..... Thanks Zoe 💜
“You don’t need to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
Have a good day, cheering you.
I swear Zoe is the best 'older sister' that I could ever have
So well put! Yes 🙋🏻♀️
I love your point about how it is often the ugly moments in life which challenge us the most and promote the most growth. Really well said, and good to remember. Thank you!
What made me realize the toxicity in this aesthetic is when I actually did it myself. I did everything, I ate healthy, worked out, upped my hygiene game, etc etc. I was still depressed, I was still unhappy. I'm still "that girl", but it didn't solve what I thought it would solve.
Good on you for making the healthy choices! But yes, I think there's a mental aspect to all of this that gets overlooked. And I think some people try to follow the trend not to improve themselves and their quality of life, but to promote the aestheric lifestyle. They literally turn themselves into a brand and then wonder why they're unhappy. I think the concept is great. Healthy active lifestyles are good. But don't do it for anyone other than yourself.
Being ' that girl' simply means being that better version of yourself that u've always longed for!
This was a very insightful video, I have seen lots of these “that girl” video and everything you mentioned in this video is exactly how I feel towards the trend. Trying to create your life based off a trend is not only unrealistic but also be harmful. Instead of it making your life better, it can create room for insecurities, unnecessary consumerism and just a desperation to fit in.
im the girl that..
1- sleeps at 3-5 am and wakes up at 12-1 pm
2- watches a lot of dramas almost the whole day
3- simply studies 1 language for like 30 minutes
4- always eats in her room alone unless its lunch
5- only works out for like 30-40 minutes everyday (if i don't i either do nothing or dance instead)
6- if i had to read i read webtoons rather than books
7- barely takes care of her skin
8- makes comments on youtube like right now
(my whole life in a nutshell unless i go out to shop or the grocery store) oh and not to mention im never gonna be "that girl" for many reasons but mainly cause i don't want to wake up at like 6 in the morning like..school already made me do that im not making that my lifestyle ty unless its 8-9 am then im fine
Omg you're me in a nutshell
@@ing3994 i know im trying to get back on track i used to wake up at 6 for school and 8-9 on weekends and actually felt better
@@ing3994 its pretty easy for me to get back on track all i need is to be willing to
We are exactly the same person 💀
i think you are portraying yourself to be "not like other girls" when in fact it is quite normal
"Growth and improvement were never the prettiest moments of my life".
I can absolutely relate. Thank you for the meaningful video.
This is the first video I’ve seen of yours, but I love how gentle, yet real you are. A lot of people come across as judge mental. You’re great.
I like who I am right now but I also feel like there are lots of things I could improve to become a better version of myself. But it also feels like it's hard to do that when you're still living with family, where habits are not only your own.
“90% of the time I look crusty as hell” - i felt that
Zoey babe, you aren't "that girl", you are "the girl" that helps everyone, telling us how it really is, but how we can improve upon these things, motivation, and inspiration. Tell me ya ain't as perfect as a human can be, I dare ya. Haha. Seriously your videos have helped me so much. THANK YOU! ❤️
Just need to be you. There’s no such thing as “That Girl” everyone falls shorts. Life is NOT perfect. You strive for progress, not perfection.
She actually stated the real points and she actually made me realise that I don't need to fit into the norms of these beauty videos . Thank you so much for this video Zoe ❤️❤️
"it's so easy to focus on the form rather than the substance"
Summarised one of my biggest annoyances with internet culture in one sentence, way better than I could.
Also book rec: Atomic Habits by James Clear: amzn.to/359KZUk so many good and practical points of habits and self improvement!!
tysm!! Your videos are amazing
tysm! I am reading it currently
It helped me a lot. I really enjoy it, It is a must book for me.
I like to take concepts and adjust them for myself and my needs and opportunities. "That girl", as you said, is a fairly positive concept itself, aimed at improving life. I don't like this kind of decor, I don't like avocados and matcha latte, I prefer dancing to the gym, etc. You can customize and romanticize anything you want, just do what makes you happy, and you obviously don't need to be "that girl" for that, you surely need to be yourself!!
Can we admit that she's the big sister we needed 🐈❤️
Your tips at the end of this video were exactly what I needed to hear at this point in my journey! Thank you so much
what I absolutely love about this video is that you're being genuinely insightful. you take your time to evaluate the positives and negatives WITHOUT bashing those that do portray or live by this lifestyle - something that is rare to find on social media these days lol !
Couldn't agree more
I was waiting for someone to speak on this. People make EVERYTHING toxic
I was literally "that girl" for long time, just without proving it to everybody everyday on sm, and now I somehow don't do any of this stuff?? like it was imposible for me to imagine my life without healthy food, workouts, daily achievements etc. In my life there was no question I ever stop doing it, bc it was just how I was, and some day I just stopped? Like one day I woke up and decided to eat chocolate for breakfast and didn't feel guilty about it, worked out only as a walk, or stayed bed all day and didn't feel like it was a break just a normal life? Idk. But I know I had times where I was pushing myself, I was making myself feel guilty and ashamed for eating something, not working out, or procrastinating. I also think the phase I am now isn't 100% okay bc I literally do almost nothing for 2nd nor 3rd month, but the thing is I don't feel guilty about it and it makes me feel even healthier (in some type of way) than when I was "that girl", that's weird.
Yessssssss I agree bc no one is perfect and it’s important to find your own happiness to be yourself to find what you like to do as long as you are happy and enjoy it
I love this! I’ve been feeling that pressure of being that girl, even though I’m trying so hard to be a little productive day by day. I keep thinking it’s never gonna be enough like that, and this video reminds me to be more realistic. Thank you!
Last year during quarantine, I feel like I was “that girl” minus the aesthetic theme. Now that it’s become like trendy with all these rules and kind of expectations of what my breakfast should look like and what my morning aesthetic should look like, I find it a little unmotivating to be productive this summer like how I was last summer. I used to love watching other peoples productivity videos, but now they all look the same with the “that girl” title in the description, it’s really hard to have originality and just a basic morning without feeling guilty. On the productivity side of RUclips all we are being fed is the same morning routine with the same aesthetic breakfast and the same workout routine in the same workout outfit. It makes me feel like almost unsettled for not living my life the exact same way, even though I know I can’t always live like that.
One of the tiktok videos in the beginning is mine and tbh I never realized how big of a trend this ‘that girl’ thing was until now. As someone who’s been living that kind of lifestyle for a long time, long before this whole trend even started, I personally think it shouldn’t only be about the aesthetic, like yeah I like having cute things and I’ve always cared about having nice things but it’s not about that. It’s just about living a healthier and a happier life. Obviously for me that includes eating healthy, working out and stuff like that but it could mean something different to other people. And if this trend is not for you, that’s okay too. It’s not for everyone. Just do what feels right for you. For me being “that girl” is just about being the best version of myself, focusing on my own life and my goals, being happy and healthy. But I believe you can become the best version of yourself without being ‘that girl’ and without your life looking this way.
Yes this is so true, it’s not for everyone and personally I don’t mind this if a person is doing this for themselves and not for the aesthetics of society
I love seeing one of the creators speak up about the trend they somehow made or trended. Thanks for sharing your point of view because I love it
Thank you so much for this video! Once I actually wanted to cry while watching this video. I have bpd (borderline personality disorder) and I always see myself as "bad" or "not good enough" and this kinda gave me hope. I always say things like "this girl is so pretty, i want to be like her" just because i see her instagram pictures but I know the reality can be very different. And usually i just feel bad and i do not have motivation to start exercise or go for a walk but now i feel much stronger. I want to recover and feel better, I hope it is gonna happen soon.
noticed that ice cube analogy lately! I'm a rock climber and I have been sitting "in freezing" at one grade for. three. years. Then recently I got just "above freezing" and out of nowhere bumped up nearly two. Consistency IS KEY.
I swear I never felt so motivated before,
Battling with depression and anxiety for a year now, trying to get my life back together hasn't been much of a success because as every one else I also chased the aesthetic life of "that girl" I owe you a lot sis ❤️
thank you so much
love from india
I love how she tells both sides of “that girl” instead of calling it bad or good. It’s different for everyone and I’m glad she shows that
You're so satisfying and also realist to hear at the same time
Seeing your videos feel like watching a better version of a better world.
Wish you a happy and healthy life that's filled with your chef's kiss sense of humor (which is chaotic and calm at the same time)
All the best girl 💙💖
I don’t want to be “that girl” I want to date “that girl” 🦋🥀
Thanks for bringing me back to reality. I don't even like "that girl" aesthetic, I prefer slightly different things but it was so ingrained in my mind to be a "gold standard" for life. Insane
Yes!! I found my new favorite youtuber!! Being “that girl” is overrated but being a better version of yourself should be everyone’s goal. ✨
CONCLUSION (in my opinion):
1. romanticize your OWN life. if that lifestyle maches you - go for it
2. remember that is always has balance 80/20 (80 - into routine, 20 - not)
3. create a better version FOR YOURSELF, not for social media or others, just shine and achieve goals that only yours🥰
love how ur being realistic whilst not excluding the idea of "wanting" completely🥰
Truly. The 90% work that goes behind being “that girl” is what we all must aspire for. Camera or no camera. That’s the win🌸🥺💜 and you look cute as heck!!🥰
i love this video!!! i’ve been so anxious and unmotivated because my life doesn’t look like “that girls”. thank you!!
Thank you for this !! I started having this realization recently about homecooked meals. My meals are healthy but they dont look esthetic. I used to feel guilty for that but not anymore, I just never realized how perfect pictures of plates somehow made me feel bad about my cooking.
i tried this during my spring break this year and it is EXHAUSTING, like yeah, i felt good about myself etc etc but after a while it feels like a huge pressure to have every neat, aesthetic, organized, healthy. Its a lot. At that time i was so obsessed with having everything perfect that looking back now, it wasn't ideal or nice at all.
i was spinning off into the rabbit hole of 'that girl' and it was making me feel exactly what this video talked about: the messy, un-beautiful sides of everyday life made me feel like i couldn't be 'that girl', plus me being an asian and not a skinny white person. this video saved me lol, it made me realize i could still do all those things in those tiktoks but fit it to MY lifestyle, MY needs, and what *I* want, and still feel pretty and still feel like i'm improving myself.
edit: also i had a bunch of things in my amazon cart due to me falling into the rabbit hole and getting too caught up in the aesthetics, and after this i deleted most things, and i saved myself a hundred bucks :D
“Aim for the better not the best” love thiss
“The more your behavior conforms with the identity you are trying to establish for yourself, the stronger that identity becomes”
Ever since I started watching Zoe and Lana Blakely, I’ve realized becoming “that girl” isn’t about making your life look like Pinterest, it’s about improving yourself to become the best version
Some quotes I would love to drop..
1."One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again."
2."Don't go through life, grow through life."
3."Be patient with yourself. You are growing stronger every day. The weight of the world will become lighter...and you will begin to shine brighter. Don't give up."
4."Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it's holy ground. There's no greater investment."
Feel free to share your quotes🌼🤍
Thank you, i screenshotted those
@@myriam2068 I am glad💜🌼
I think its interesting how I gave up becoming "that girl" from the very beginning because of my background with my family and how unattainable it just felt. Ever since I was a teen, I've always known I could never be "that girl" so I never even dared to try blend into the mix, which honestly has just made me a lot more aware and understanding of my situation.
I sincerely am happy that you put the words to what I have been feeling the past weeks that I am starting to get my life together. At first, I felt like I cannot achieve the life I want without the financial burden part. I just started to realize now that I can be my own version of "that girl" by being resourceful and that I don't need to make drastic changes or spend lots of money.
i wish i knew u irl TT u would have been the friend i always needed and never had. Thank you so much for making these videos they have really helped with my self esteem an ED, it all has gotten so much better now.
the firetruck is like "just love urself and it keeps interupting u just making sure that we love ourself just the way we are (;
i love this perspective. i needed something different because it wasn’t too long ago that i felt like “that girl”. i started seeing results like defined abs and muscle growth in my thighs, ate fairly clean, was good at managing my time, etc. but when this all came to a sudden stop there was no substance to it besides the end goal. i got abs, sick…now what? i made it…so there was not enough reason to keep going. then i stop and my abs are no longer defined and i start to wonder what happened. thanks to you i realize that i was “aiming for the destination and not the journey”. it’s so true because once i got there i was done! i loved every point that you made but another point that stuck with me is the identity complex that turns words into actions into habits. thank you for bringing awareness to this topic and sharing the bad along with the good!!
okay i haven’t even started watching, but the title 🤌🏽 period!!! I LOVE IT! SO TRUE! YOU DONT NEED TO BECOME “that girl”!
Cant wait to watch!!!! Love your videos!!
FINALLY i see someone talking about this topic, thank you thank you thank you, i wanna do a video talking about this too bc i think that we all should have our own life style not other person’s lifestyle
Your words nearly made me cry bcuz my life has been going downhill since I graduated high school. Thank you for helping me realize that even I can change for better with small steps. Thanks❤
I like how you mentioned money in the beginning of this video I completely understand what if people don’t have that money like not a lot of people have money like that it’s very hard some people have to keep to jobs and it’s very hard 🥺