It is worth pointing out that "How do you do" is a statement, not a question. In England, if someone says "How do you do", never ever reply by telling them how you are. You simply reply with "How do you do". Also, avoid pronouncing it with a raised inflection at the end like you would if it had a question mark. There is no question mark with "how do you do" so it is important to lower your inflection. It is easier to do this if you practice a little nod of the head as you say it.
Stefanie Rene Imagine meeting someone for the first time and being asked ‘how are you’ it seems overly familiar for someone who doesn’t know you to ask in a social setting especially with people from the higher society. That’s just me though I’m also English so culturally we behave differently 😊
In America People don't treat each other like strangers next door neighbors and people within your community is ok to say 'How are you" some people even kiss on their cheek in Spain and most Hispanic countries. You can say "how are you" but not as a question just as Sarah pointed out.
@@jasondads9509 I am not wealthy but I've been around that social class. They are just like us in that some are educated and refined and some are crass and never picked up a book since high school. It really depends on how they amassed their wealth and how they were raised.
@@jasondads9509 Well I would describe myself as a member of the working class. I'm often broke but I would never consider myself poor, because as an American I'm blessed compared to the billions in the world living in abject poverty. That being said, I did not grow up with money but my father, who grew up middle class, received a full ride and graduated from Harvard, so by default I grew up educated. He struggled with mental illness so he was never able to live up to his potential of being a high earner. My mother's highest level of education was that she graduated high school, but she is savvy with money and invested in her later years. She also taught herself interior design and taste. My point is that money does not equate style, education, manners or graciousness. You can have those qualities without it. On the flip side you can be handed wealth by your family and lack all of those fine qualities, and even be absolutely insufferable.
Exactly, i do not like when men ask me what i do or in which area I live. They typically are trying to see where i fit in society, then next thing i know they ask me to buy them a car lol 😂
@@Nadia-mx3ux totally! I get bugged about where I live question too, but more because they are trying to size up their level of convenience I dating. It's not a rich person question, it's a dating question since too many people date for convenience, not for love
@@riobrasilsambashowssambist1453 Very good point, it is more convenient. Also in my case they also ask if I am a property owner or if I rent lol. I swear times have changed. Men act like women. They are after sex AND $$$. it is disappointing as I am young and I worked hard for what I have. I refuse to date these "men".
If a person who is "rich" is not humble enough to have a regular conversation with me I am not interested of knowing anything about that person.... Keep the conversation short and thats it!!! I will never try to pretend someone that am not....!!!! STAY HUMBLE!!!!!!!!!
@@noodles1291 I can see your point... But,....NICE... Comes with in you if you are genuine, and passionate about something you will always be professional.... Yes you can learn a thing or two from a "rich" person.... Trust and believe me i deal with rich people all the time and ive been blessed to run into humble ones but the snotty ones, i keep it professional and move along...
@@noodles1291 To a point, but you don't have to , nor should you, kiss ass just to get ahead, in the long run it doesn't get you anywhere, but turning into someone you are not - you can be polite, but you should always be nice, should not have to be "nicer" to some people than others, when you start doing that, you are not staying true to who you are, you are "sucking up"
@@mayraalcala3059 Well I don't think a wealthy person would be interested in becoming friends with a vulgar person like you. Don't be jealous only because they've had become more successful then you.
Marie Evans Don’t assume I’m looking for a wealthy man just because this is what the channel is about.I love how feminine Anna is.Id like to learn more from her not because my dream is to be part of the high society,but purely because I prefer to work on my appearance.Regarding the”What do you do?”,I’m aware it’s part of the society,but build rapport first asking emotional questions vs.logical.
Be friendly yet slightly reserved, show good manners, avoid cliches, slang and profanity. Dress modestly and appropriately for the situation, pay attention to personal hygiene and be confident yet humble. Be careful with use of alcohol. That's it, you can fit in anywhere. Everyone regardless of wealth and status deserves to be treated respectfully.
That goes for everyone regardless of how much money one has. I am perfectly capable of managing myself in social situations and I'm not going to alter my behaviors based on how much money someone has.
Be yourself and appreciated for yourself. No games and no phoniness is my motto. Someone doesn't like it, move on to someone that does. You'll be figured out eventually.
I’m naturally friendly but slightly reserved- and I don’t like asking too many questions... I don’t like being quizzed either... never knew I was so classy! 😅
I would rather listen to you than Anna. Her approach suggests that if you are not rich, you can’t be classy. I have watched some of her videos and I feel, like she is belittling women’s capabilities being able to have sophisticated looks or conversations, unless they are rich. We’ve seen enough celebrities cut in situations that were anything but classy. So much for money…
Funny thing is that rich people don’t really have a problem asking YOU what you do. I don’t have a problem answering, but the moment you ask back they give you a weird look...
Only some ask though...those are usually rich people who did not grow up rich tbh...or they could be just making sure to protect themselves it depends...
yes, I actually have felt it's so strange when wealthy people asked me what I do. It felt invasive and like why do I need to be totally transparent when they do not? I would love to have a better way to answer them..
KALI Vireshwara maybe try speaking about the field or industry that you work in, rather than your actual title and day to day responsibilities (for example: I work in finances for a large non-profit based in Maryland/US)
Very gauche and American. It's hard for me to go out anymore because apparently everyone and their mother needs to know what I do for a living... They're embarrassing themselves and don't even know it.
So true, and I have just ignored the question before as if I didn't here it. Age too. Since when is it polite to ask a lady her age. For me it is a difficult question because I'm disabled but 8 could say retired. I look young for my age to young to be retired. I guess I won't be dating any rich men. It's ok. After watching these videos I have decided that I don't want to meet "rich" people.
@@maretvilla1531 The world has social classes, but it isn’t elegant - never mind polite! - to be so blunt about it. I attended finishing school and if anyone had called someone “a nobody”, we would have been severely punished. Nobody is “a nobody” and I was raised to know that the server is just as important as the CEO, and just as deserving of courtesy.
@@cloverazar5315 I agree There's no room nor justification for all kinds of rudeness no matter what class you belong to. But. We all know the world is divided and will always be divided and there would always be people that would be on the bottom of the ladder, the lazy bum, etc. You're taking what she said out of context. It's only right you should not act rich when you know and the people around you know that you're not rich. And there are lots of people like that. They have biggest ego regardless who they're with, even when they are the biggest nobody in that room.
@@maretvilla1531 I am not taking what anybody said out of context, Maret. With respect, it’s a direct quote, and one I respectfully disagree with. It is inelegant to call anyone a nobody. No if, ands or buts about it. It doesn’t matter if the individual is the laziest bum on the planet; elegance is knowing that everyone should be treated graciously and with respect.
I’m a small town country boy in the south. My family thought me all of this growing up on the farm. So it’s not just the rich its manners. When I lived in West Hollywood I was shocked how many people ask what I do. It’s rude and I never answer with my main line of work and answer with my fun side job. And they assume I was a nobody then move on. Little do the know I’m red dirt rich and the value of land. All they saw was my blue jeans and pickup truck. Then go talk to the broke guys wearing Prada. Don’t judge a book from its cover y’all.
WE all have stories about these attitudes....silly people who judge a person only by their clothing deserve to get the embarrassment that is coming their way. OLD money people often dress down, drive simple cars and have zero need to show off...actually, showing off brings them unWANTED attention! They actually prefer to glide under the radar.
Sybil Francis yea money is nice but love And family is more important. When the farm got split apart and my realities greed broke my heart, money could be gone in a minute. Would love still be there?
Be elegant. Be classy. Be mysterious. Be confident. Be mindful of your posture & body language. Listen more than you talk. Make eye contact. Don't be offensive. Watch their behaviors, body language and mirror them but be yourself. They can spot a fraud a mile away.
I will be bored to hell with you.. I mean what I should ask what is your latest book..what do you think about the economic trends.. asking what do you do is also an indication what is your level of education. If you answer me I am rich..I will ask what are you studying...I just dont get it
Eva, I can see where you are coming from. But I think you are comparing two different types of people. I think you are used to conversing with more intellectual people, more educated people. The rich do not necessarily fall into this category. You would probably be most comfortable with those in Academia who have inquiring minds. Rich people have minds to make money not necessarily interested in knowledge and learning. I am more comfortable with educated people myself, who enjoy conversing on a number of varied topics, than with rich people. I don't exactly get where they're coming from so I tend to avoid them when I can. LOL;)
It’s not easy nowadays to know whether or not someone is wealthy because wealth now is built much different than many years ago. That also changes the behavior of the so called rich. I am from Germany and my family was amongst the wealthy before WW2. I however was born into relative simplicity and taught that just because we didn’t have much money, didn’t mean that we should not dress neatly and act and speak properly. Some people, I have met thought that I was wealthy but I was poor. I am not a fraud just because I don’t know any different than to speak or act different. It’s how I was raised. I am wondering however, whether or not todays rich can tell the difference between the modern rich and old wealth rich. If that makes sense 🙂🙂
One that I learned from experience: If someone complements your clothing, don't say how much it cost, or the story behind getting it, just say thank you.
@@sueelliott4793 I think in my opinion saying, this old thing, downgrades the compliment. It’s better simply to except a compliment and say thank you even if the article of clothing is older or you think it doesn’t look that good.
It took me being around people who knew how to take a compliment to be able to do this myself. The first woman who simply said "Thank you" instead of telling me about the piece had me FLOORED
There is a HUGE difference between “Rich” and “Wealthy” people! I have friends in all ‘social’ classes and I can tell you the most polite & honest friends are either working class or wealthy. Rich people still work(ish) and are mostly trying to keep up with other rich people and when more likely than not they are mostly just in debt. Wealthy people don’t care, they can call out genuine people in a snap. As mundane & cliché as it sounds, just be yourself and live by the Golden Rule; treat everybody the way you would want to be treated. From my journey from poverty to an affluent lifestyle, I have been very respectful and grateful that I have been given the opportunity to give back to my community. I have also seen many ‘rich’ people tend to brag about money & possessions and define themselves by what they own or neighborhood they live in. Wealthy folks tend to be so much more down to earth, just classy & beautiful people, even driving 20 yr old cars and wearing jeans-yep, against all etiquette, unless it’s a charitable benefit or event! They rarely speak of money or possessions but tend to focus on their family and friend, interests & hobbies, etc. What I also found was when you first start attending some benefits or banquets many were more interested in who I was and asked many questions about my interests, hobbies and passions. It really has been such a breath of fresh air to surround myself with just good honest people, no matter what class status or possessions they may or may not have.
Although I am very unlikely to meet someone extremely rich, I would not care what they thought of me. To suggest that they may think I’m not on their “level” says more about them then it does about me. In my opinion, money is not what makes someone worth knowing. It is their thoughts and ideas and how they treat others that is important.🌷
Ok, but... are rich people a different form of humans or what? What do you mean with “things you should never say to rich people”? Let me understand... if I own a lot of money I own respect? Respect isn’t something that people buy. I talk to a rich person the same as I talk to a homeless person.
Thank you!!! Was wondering if anyone else was thinking the same that all these people group rich people as some kind of separate entity or something. That is unattainable and put on some kind of pedestal. Like stop. They're not a different kind of species and they are not automatically deserving of the utmost respect. I too, converse the same to a homeless person as I would a rich person
No their not a different form of human or species the are just more well aware people are going to try to use them for what they have. So they themselves, their families, and even rich friends of theirs are always on the look out for gold diggers and social climbers.
Swiddy If you don’t know this but Anna’s RUclips channel is also for those who aspire to enter the high society 😂 that’s why “things you should never say to rich people” is here. Also, I think you can try to understand the different types of rich. Old money rich (4 generations), new money rich, celebrity rich, lottery rich etc. they all have varied attributes in their life styles and how they converse with people. Rich people are not “different species” but their perceptions, values, thoughts and habits are different to the masses.
My parents always taught us to NEVER discuss money in a casual setting. We weren’t to mention what we drove, nor did we mention the price of anything! We never spoke of people we knew, and didn’t talk about any family member in regard to status, possessions, business, or education. As my mother said, “It’s just not done.”
When first I met Edgar, I was far more interested in "what do you do for enjoyment?" than what he did professionally. He was intrigued and became more engaging. We talked for hours and found a great many common interests. The relationship took on a life of it's own, money was NEVER a topic to discuss. He sensed no matter what my own needs were, I'd NEVER accept money from him. To this day he loves and respects my fierce independence. I love him for him. BTW: He still offers $$$ if I want/need it. I can take care of myself. I accept some gifts though, as long as they aren't ostentatious. Love your videos Anna.
High society exists whether you want to acknowledge it or not. You don’t have to ever choose to be friends with rich people that follow a certain etiquette if you don’t want to, but it doesn’t hurt to understand it. Everyone has different jobs and social scenes that require different skills and these videos can be very helpful for some!
Am I the only one that believes these are truths for dealing with all people. No one wants to hear a sob story or hear a person brag about themselves. This is good common sense for dealing with ALL people.
JND 0630 No one wants to hear a sob story, she says. So those with them should stuff it. Pay for therapy. Unless your sob is about money. Then hope you have a phone and a crisis hotline answers. That’s the world now people.
When ppl ask howI'm doing, I say," Unbelievable!'' and then ask them. It's short, unexpected and a bit mysterious (unbelievably what?) They almost invariable follow up on it, and I always come back with something very short and positive, like, 'Absolutely perfect weather for collecting butterflies." Something a bit offbeat that I've been noticing on my nature walks. Always something seasonally appropriate, recreational, and interesting. Right now it's the ski report....chances of SNOW! YAY!
"Rich people will know you are a nobody" - honestly rich people would be absolutely nowhere without those "nobodies", it's not like you take care of your own trash or grow your own food. Everyone deserves respect and calling someone a nobody is not "elegant" or appropriate no matter who you are or how much money you have.
@@kp-tq1fw how?! What I'm hearing is to stay modest, discreet and briefly be well educated and have common sense! This type of things apply anyways to everybody. Not just in a conversation with a rich person. I don't even know that type of rich people, but still found it informative.
It's funny that you assume people who generally like to learn about the people they're with are "status seekers." That says a lot more about you than it does them.
Asking people "What industry are you in" is so helpful!!!! As a hairstylist, I constantly meet new people, I want to appear engaging without being intrusive. Awesome tip!!!!!❤
I’m living in USA now and people here always ask direct questions and I always feel embarrassed and violated in my privacy, it feels good to hear that is actually good etiquette and not me being uptight
dont ever hesitate to say " no offense but that informaion is personal" Say it with a smile and look 'em straight in the eye. You will feel more empowered in conversations. Dont give away your power.
Thank you @@Mywatercrystaltv ! I'll try that next time. Thank you for sharing it's a good thing to say and still be polite and on top of that empowered as you said,
You can always just be a little vague. Americans like to ask a lot of questions to show that they are interested to know you and not being self-centered in conversation. hope this helps
@@alethiaeden As an American I agree with this statement. It really is to keep conversations flowing. Questions about what you do for a living or where are you from are surface level questions. We don't actually dig deeper into casual conversations.
Oh wow. Is it 2019. Rich is not a level, it just means you have alot of money. Some rich people are nice, some are not, some are worthy of respect but not because they are rich. Money does not make people better, above or more worthy than anyone else. It certainly doesn't make you more intelligent or special.
@@missxmarvel guess what, if they got this recommended, this is what they watch, and RUclips sends those recommendations based on their searches and based on what their watch history.
Anna Int. Sorry but that’s not true. I watch videos that has nothing to do with rich folks. I had a video recommended about wasps while I’m terrified of these fuckers and I don’t watch any vids that revolves around insects. So how do you excuse that?
Funny how you see rich people.. Most of the rich people I have met are anything BUT classy. I rearly see any elegance nor class in those circles in these days.
Same here. Maybe its where I live the super rich here are classless here... just the ones I've come across I'm sure there are some good ones around here...
"New money" are a crude bunch to be sure. I've experienced them picking their nose at an engagement n act like ure just supposed to deal with it. My assumption is she's not even remotely wasting these skills on them. And neither shud we. I wanna be a princess,😉!!!
They should simply not give that 'condescending look' they do when around or even that 'pity look'.. just don't. Be compassionate and treat them as you would everyone in your everyday life.
Another off-putting question is "What did your parents -especially 'father' do for a living?" THAT is the ultimate in being intrusive and in trying to ascertain one's social status. That, of course, has not been used by affluent people, in my experience.
@@thatsclassicher1149 just say what industry he works in, that way its a vague answer, and if they ask for more just smile at them and dismiss them. Remember, you don't owe them anything, you are trying to be one of them and to fit in.
Better read your Bible -- true story of the rich man and LAzarus the beggar. See what the outcome was for the rich man who was arrogant and haughty in nature. LAzarus entered eternity comforted ,whilst rich man entered torment . Dont be too proud and haughty, Only God sits THAT high! God lifts up the humble man, and He resists the proud .
@@AlexandertheGreat99 There may be snipits of truth here and there. But, that is true for most mythologies. Same can be said for any alleged holy book.
I am glad to see people not only giving precious advices but also taking these advices seriously. It is so unflattering , especially in the U.S culture to ask about one´s status right away. In most countries this has always been one of the worst things you can do when you are getting to know someone; immediately a turn off. Etiquette should be a mandatory class for children in the U.S and abroad. Don´t think, even for a moment, that this lady is all about shallow subjects when she is dedicating her time and sharing secrets that are treasured for many of us. Etiquette might end up saving your life , whether professional or personal. Carry on with your amazing course, Anna. Tack så mycket för hjälpen.
I only surround myself with people who are positive, uplifting, have integrity, a heart, trustworthy, of course FUN-materially rich or poor. Toxicity is my red flag. I could be surrounded by wealthy people and actually not want to be around them because of their values, behavior, and overall energy. Just because someone has money doesn’t mean they aren’t toxic for you and themselves. Choose who you surround yourself with wisely people! They will either lift you to your potential or lower you.....inspire you or drain you.....money or not.
I’m happily married so I’m not interested in dating but I really find you videos helpful. I grew up in a very affluent area. My family were not rich. I never really felt comfortable with rich people even though I went to school and even dated a few rich guys. My goal was to find love and companionship with a man who had great potential so we could build a successful life. I wanted to be able to look back on the life we built together with pride.
Wow, I have just realized that I don't need to have any rich person in my live. I couldn't stand having a conversation with someone knowing that I have to avoid normal conversation topics that are absolutely normal, because OMG they could discover you are not as rich as them!
@@kl5881 Why is that rude? After all, we ask people what they do all the time. That is conversation, part of getting to know someone. Surely you have asked people what they do for a living, why would rich be any different, after all it is likely more interesting to know, which is why people ask.
@@carpo719 Some people dont want you to know how they make money. It doesnt matter if you are rich or not. You seriously cant think of a scenario where someone wouldnt want to answer that question?
These rules are also excellent for women who are to enter the corporate world or any sort of professional setting. BTW: This lighting is perfection! You're glowing!
I find the rich (or those that think they are better than u) are the ones that ask these awkward questions - I call them “Owls” - the “what do u do crew” 😃. When I go to certain high-end events, etc I can see people itching to ask, “so, what do u do?” Happens all the time. They’re trying to pigeon hole me. I now say, “oh, this and that” then I throw the question back at them - they don’t like it because they think it’s ok for them to ask (rude) but not the other way around 😏
I'm a self made multi mill and I don't mind it at all when people ask what I do, I love talking about my success and I love hearing the success of others.
I agree... I don't know where she finds the ppl she is talking about but I like talking about my success and listening to others...I don't care even if it's a minimal amount of money...let's talk.
I worked in the LA area for years, often servicing Beverly Hills. My main take away was this: the truly wealthy/successful people were actually quite polite and friendly. There was no ego and no display of thinking they were above me. The people who lived in the not-wealthy areas of Beverly Hills were the ones who would sometimes act like they were better than you. If you interact with a wealthy person who is stuck up, they are likely just pretending to be wealthy.
As someone that grew up in a wealthy place, it’s generally not common for someone to ask you straight away what you do, but it’s not exactly looked down upon. They love talking about businesses and what they do, and the conversation gets there anyway. Edit: there is nothing wrong with ‘Nice to meet you.’ Nobody looks down at it or gets the impression at all. ‘How do you do.’ Is a statement that basically means you want to end the conversation and move onto different people. ‘Nice to meet you.’ Is much better.
I don’t try to impress anyone. I am just myself. I don’t care who is rich or poor. I act the same around everyone. People at my job ask questions about my fiancé and how much money he makes!! I think asking what someone does for a living is the rudest question. I would never ask anyone that.
have you noticed how people treat you differently if you "seem" to be doing better in life than they are or treat you like crap if they think you don't hold up to their bar (usually new money). My husband taught me to always talk about myself in a positive light especially if people ask what I do. Girl, I talk myself up...even though I don't feel that great about what I do...i don't let nosy people make me feel bad anymore. In some cultures, the rich and poor and middle class hang out with their own class. It is not a spoken rule; but, it ends up that way. I think people really cross the line though when they ask about what your significant other does too. Like really, they are really trying to put you in an income bracket. I have had people tell my husband that he must be rich to marry me. How rude is that!!! I am not a gold digger.
Emily - I agree, it is totally rude for someone to ask how much someone makes......I think it has become a cultural thing to ask people what they do for a living - it's a conversation starter, but no, no, no, never ask someone how much they make, or what they paid for their house, car, etc, just rude
@@sunnidays and in some cultures, it's perfectly normal to discuss those kinds of purchases. It's helping you make an informed decision if you are interested in a similar car, what kind of expense you might be getting into.
Direct questions like what do you do, where do you live make me uneasy... especially when I have just met someone. Both questions do not give you any indication to the type of person I am.
Both questions are indirect ways to guesstimate how much money a person make that's why wealthy people hate it. They are conversation topics for the poor and middle class.
Peter Smith I literally hate that question. It’s worse when you have something at your house and people say we’re rich. Um 😐 No. It’s just a house. I have seen bigger houses.
Wow. I'm realizing I was raised with these affluent values, and most of my social problems have actually come from others expecting to interact in non-classy ways and being offended when I balk.
I'm almost inclined to think that the rich should not ask the poor these questions as well. I don't think it is snotty or condescending to be polite in return in this way. Class is a two-way street.
@@19mimi63 why so judgmental? Live your life and let others live the way they want. you are in control of your life, don't judge how others handle theirs
even saying something like 'lovely to meet you' or 'pleasure to meet you' sounds better than 'good' if you don't feel like yourself saying 'how do you do' :)
My family taught me never to tell anyone how much I make or what things cost. It's just plain scummy to talk about money with strangers. Those kinds of conversations are best between partners. Plus if you tell someone how much you make or flaunt what you have, you are going to get robbed. This should be common sense!
I used to work as a Development Director at a large museum. My job was encouraging wealthy people to donate to the organization. It was great fun! Many people absolutely do not appear well off. Getting to know them was like "dating". I would frequently ask about where they were from, their interests, just followed my gut instinct. Also asking about their pets was safe! After each meeting, get together, cocktail party, curator tour, etc. I kept notes on the conversations in our software. Developing relationships took years. I loved the job and found being myself , however with "a mission" was easy to do. It was extremely rare to work with uber wealthy who weren't nice. I learned a bunch! It's a great career if you have class, manners, inquiring mind, and well honed instincts!
If you don't mind me asking, how did you get into that field? I am graduating this May with a BA. in English Language and Literature and I would love to work in a museum or editorial workplace.
@ElizRued I got into the museum as their Volunteer program coordinator as I had volunteer management plus donor relations experience ( I had been an executive director of a non profit ) ; then the membership manager came open and I got promoted. But you can get into Development with a bachelors. You'd usually be under the tutelage of a more senior development director to learn the ropes of philanthropy. It's a learn on the job job. I'd select a few non profits that are mid size to large and ask to have a coffee conversation with the development director about how to get into the field. It's all about connections. Hope that helps
@@jogmas12 trying to fit in with the "rich people" LOL this is a joke everyone should be treated with the respect that they deserve, if they do not show you respect, then they don't deserve yours just because they might have more money than you do........be yourself (unless your are a criminal, then I say you should be in jail) , if someone does not like you, then they are not worth being around
Totally agree with everything said except "How do you do" vs "Nice to meet you". I live in LA, and work in holistic health and at my wellness center we see people from all over the world, actors, billionaires, very wealthy people, and maybe it's a California casual thing, but every time I interact or hear them interacting on a business call I always hear "Nice to meet you!". Actually to be quiet honest the most wealthy people come in looking like complete bums...maybe Cali is so different, but I actually like the saying "How do you do" it's so old world, and timely!
I remember watching this video the day it came out. I started saying "how do you do" when meeting people & in four years I've received positive/surprised responses. They seemed impressed that I used that phrase as opposed to "nice to meet you".
I’m from Islington in London. I grew up without much money to go around. I’m well spoken and very well mannered. The people moving into London maybe rich but that doesn’t mean they have etiquette, they just have money and congratulate themselves for being able to afford to live there. Not everyone, but many. Most people don’t say ‘how do you do’...but rather ‘It’s lovely to meet you’. You are confusing rich people with upperclass people. Very different!
Yes, as someone who spends a lot of time around wealthy people, I find some of the advice a bit off. It is true they're often on guard - and I totally understand why - I've seen people prey on wealthy people, often the predators are already rich themselves. I'm glad I'm not super rich, because the ones I have met have had a miserable, lonely life. I'm sure some are having fun, but a lot of them are missing things in their lives.
When I was a child I would tell my Grandmother about a new friend and she would immediately ask the questions "What do their parents do?" along with "what area are they from?" . Even as a child it made me feel uncomfortable because I could she just wanted to figure out their financial situation not who they are as a person.
Our families want us to hang out with "the right" people because you'll be surprised at the amount of opportunities you might get only by knowing the right person.
The wealthy are just as curious as others about "what a person does for a living" but only if it might affect them directly and they go about it differently. Running a background check comes to mind. Grandmothers are always looking out for their brood 😉
@@illusionist1244 I think it is in the upbringing , my mom and dad actually beat me up on wrongdoings and now I am a teenager who can handle more pressure than any other kid my age , once I was insulted by my school teacher on how I will fail my future and my life and end up being pathetic Even though I didn't reply to him because I was raised to never talk bad words to someone older and respect everyone outwardly so I could only think that one statement I heard a successful man advising and that is to reply " Go to hell I am gonna succeed . "
@@havanax8096 im sorry youve been through that, you might got used to it but deep inside one would feel like carrying the whole world on their shoulders(atleast i do) you gotta allow yourself to make mistakes and learn tı not allow disrespect from others. it took me awhile to fix this issue, i would attract similar type of abusers like my parents because i was taught to tolerate this type of behaviour by them
You are right! I feel very uncomfortable when friends asked me things like “How much was your purse?”, “what do your parents do for a living to have that much money? I know they are curious, but it still is very aggressive. I always answer like, “I don’t remember” or “it was a gift from my parents”
Good advice, I grew up being told that one does not talk about money, regardless of if growing up with money or the complete opposite. My parents told me it’s vulgar to talk about money. So I cringe when I hear people talking about how much this or that person earn or is worth. Although saying that, each to their own and all that but I feel uncomfortable when money is being brought up in conversations.x
Sobeida Lagrange absolutely, but I’ve noticed it’s very common that people do talk about money or asking about how can people afford this and that or the other. I’m quite content with not knowing how much people spend on anything. I have plenty of people around me who likes to dissect other people’s money and how they’ve achieved their money etc. Up until watching Anna’s video on the subject, I thought that I was the odd one out but it’s finally ok to feel uncomfortable around talking about other people’s wealth or lack there off etc...
I totally agree! I would never ask anyone that and I get so offended when people ask me that. I’m not rich but I still think it’s offensive. And if rich people look down on me for the money I make then I don’t really want to know them. Money is just paper. It was created as a way to enslave humanity.
i don't understand why it's uncomfortable... It's the most natural thing. And at least I don't judge about the money a person has. If they ask you in a bad way, to jugde you, that's different.
Common Sense maybe you’re very comfortable asking people how much they earn or how little, whatever is your preference, but as I said I don’t judge people on their salary per month or their net worth, it’s just that I think that it is nobody’s business how little/much I earn. I judge people on how they treat me as a person and I shall treat them accordingly,simples
Great advice! I love the way you explain things. Add to the list: Never ask a person their age, jokingly or casually. It's disrespectful! Someone recently asked my age. I replied: "it is not relevant. I only serve the food." I guess he was trying to make small talk but I felt uncomfortable.
So the rich really are different. I find this extremely pretentious. If a rich person is going to judge me in such a way. I don't want to know them. Most of these things are rude among us poor folks too. Modesty and minding your own business is also big among us lower people.
Debbie Hines EXACTLY keep on walking I have had people tell me their life’s story since I was six. Why bother with someone so bent out of shape by a simple question. Don’t darken my path with your uncalled for arrogance.
Rich people can be down to earth. I knew someone with a concrete business and thought nothing of getting 1 million dollar front end loaders but was just your average likable Joe. Modest house and a pick em up truck. How's it going dude?
@@JNoMooreNumbers this is true. I knew of old farmers who were millionaires who lived very simple lives. One of the nicest most down to earth people I've ever met was old money wealthy. I was being sarcastic when saying so the rich are different. I found the video totally pretentious. As if you must talk to rich people differently than you talk to anyone else.
Sound advice! Absolutely, right. Royalty, Aristocracy, the Rich etc are all too aware of "gold diggers". They have an in-built radar (which they need to protect themselves and survive!)....... Generally speaking they are lovely and amazing people and deserved to be liked/loved for themselves not their "status".
It is laughable and sad at the same time how you are equating a somebody with someone with money and a nobody with someone middleclass or "bellow" and putting authority on a pedestal alongside this "high" society that apparently is something on "another level". I am glad I watched this video, in case I will ever "rise up" from middle class to know what not to become. Awful.
yoyoioana16 If i were to use classism in life. I would put an educated or humanitarian above some jerk with money. Asking what a person does for a living is rather old school. Your work reflected who you are-not how much money you have. Most wealthy people I don’t give the time of day. A person with dedication and purpose are much more important. And as for cars-small talk. I don’t care what it’s worth but what engine it has or is it a special car to them. I have an engineering mind.
@@lenoretalon9958 I happen to like car talk. Always been around car guys from total restorers to racing and did some work with them too. I always been to much of a tom boy for this. Spent a lot of time in the pits of ARCA. Today's soy boys could be stumped by a flat tire.
All of these are excellent points. Thank you for including "How do you do" as a greeting. I was raised to say it and had forgotten. It is simple, elegant and dignified without being standoffish.
Asking people what they do here in the states happens far more than it should since it should not be! Your advice is spot on especially since (in my experience) the people who often ask this are not usually well educated or educated at all. I prefer the question what industry are you in. Not only does it offer the flexibility in terms of responding, it also weeds out the people who simply cannot answer the question. Thank you 🙏🏾. So happy to have found you and I’ve officially subscribed.
I’m less than half way through and I have already learned something. I never thought about how “what do you do” could be seen as rude. Will definitely keep this in mind!
I think many people use it as a conversation starter - how do you start the small talk. If they have a line of work that is acceptable and has some status (and which they like) it can be an easy topic.
I accidentally embarrassed myself in front of someone that I didn’t know was rich. I was a store manager and I was helping this client pick out a gift. When she was paying, I looked at the name on her credit card and when I recognized the last name, I jokingly asked, “are you the heiress to the such and such fortune?” She bowed her head and looked away, so I knew the answer was yes. She said, “I’m not an heiress, though; I go to work everyday.” Then I just told her I was a loyal customer of her families business and left it at that lol
When I meet someone new or are being introduced, I say, "It's a pleasure to meet you* with a smile, slight nod of the head and making eye contact. This shows you are engaging with the person. It establishes who you are, shows confidence and leaves a good first impression. I have had some great and interesting conversations, because of this delivery; some have even led to long associations.
As a member of an old family on the East Coast of the USA, I appreciate that you cover these important topics. I would like to share some observations with the intention of being a contribution in some small way. I have been taught a distinction between the words ‘rich’ and ‘wealthy’. Rich is making large amounts of money and living on the money a person makes. Wealthy is investing money wisely and living off the dividends or disbursements of the investments. Rich people can make 5 million dollars a month and spend six million dollars a month- and potentially end up broke and bankrupt. Wealthy people generally have a talented person keep on top of their investments and do not have those worries. Another thought has to do with how questions are phrased to immediately know the status of a person. We never, as you point out, ask directly where a person makes their money. Instead, questions fall along these lines: where did you go to school? Who were your professors or teachers? That kind of thing. These questions are questions that immediately tag the other person socially and academically, and even people who are not academically inclined will attend private schools. The circles a person travels also indicates what their current potential situation is. The professors and teachers in the small pocket of exclusive and expensive schools are well known to to other private school graduates. If a person says they attended an Ivy league school (in the US) but they do not know the names and some stories about the people there, it is immediately apparent that the person did not attend that school. It is important to maintain truth and integrity in these situations, There is a good response to being asked this question and it often works because the response is a little vague, but always truthful. An example: “I have always been creative, so a school that encouraged the arts was the best fit for me. I am glad because…” changing the focus at the end of the sentence redirects the conversation away from the intent of the conversation and it would be considered rude to pursue the original question once it has been redirected. Many wealthy people do not ‘work’ in the traditional sense, and they use vague words to avoid embarrassment or potential jealousy or envy that can result from this disclosure. Being vague -again, always truthful - is a good way to not get derailed immediately and wealthy people with trust income (as an example), are able to side step this question with success. Envy and jealousy are to be avoided at all costs because of the inherent nature of these emotions- it is definitely not safe to be around people like this. I have had people try to sell me something and when I hear, “you can afford it!” I always feel insulted. This attitude shows up in body language as well as the spoken word. One thing most people do not consider is that it takes a lot of money to keep what you have and the more money a person has, the most expenses they will have. It is just easier to be around people who know and who respect this fact. An excellent approach might be to have interesting accomplishments to become a more interesting person… learning to paint, taking up SCUBA diving, joining the Audubon society with trips trips to identify birds, taking fencing lessons - that sort of thing makes a woman a more interesting person to talk to and to show off to friends. I have often heard “There are women you play with and women you marry”. The women worth marrying are discrete, good lovers, socially supportive (yes, writing thank you letters, etc), and - this is a big one - able to hold their own with the sisters, mothers, and friends of the desired man. Women are the social power players and not to be underestimated. An aside: I love who you are and what you are doing, Anna! Women need an advisor, mentor, and role model like you. You are much appreciated!
can't believe that people worry how to talk to rich people wtf🤦🏻♀️ rich or poor there is no diference just be yourself, don't have to act just to impress rich people...
You can be a great person and still make these mistakes. You may think you are just making polite conversation but there are people who ask “What do you do for work?” Who have bad intentions to use you for your money.
"Be yourself" is the top of the list of advice that sounds better than it actually is. I have worked a variety of jobs and enjoy learning about occupations that make the world work. I hate being told by total strangers that my motive is otherwise.
Thank you! This answered questions I’ve had for over 16 years. Everyone kept asking me what I do & I was so embarrassed to answer or later my job changed & I was forbidden to tell anyone what we do because we signed a contract so everything was top secret & a lawsuit. I never say: Nice to meet you. I don’t know why. It always makes me feel awkward when I say it, so I just let the other person say something first because I’m always nervous anyway.
Your career does not make up who you are as a person. This question always makes me crazy. You are more than what you do. I wonder if you would be too nervous to gloss over their career focused questions with a very polite comment about the weather or how lovely their hair/shoes etc look, giving them a polite but obvious cue that your career is not up for conversation?
Thank you again for teaching. My grandmother taught I and my sisters to speak, "How do you do?" when meeting someone new at a social event. This point of etiquette was repeated in my life while I was in graduate school. We had a class on how to interact with school administrators, all the way up to the superintendent. I was instructed to be pleasant and confident without becoming braggadocio. Excellent lesson.
@@DrinkYourNailPolish Tell that to the sweat shop owners. Earning millions on the backs of others. Unless they became rich from scratch they don't deserve more respect.
My English teacher too. I remember saying that I read a nice book. She repeated 'nice!'. A book is never nice she said. Instead it's an interesting book.
That's so funny! Because I usually use the word "nice" when I'm not too impressed with something. 😄 Very few people get that, that's why I use it. I didn't know that was a rule.
Another good title is “How to turn off rich people every time.” Some people may not understand this video, but if you put it into practice with everyone you meet, not just the rich, it may make your life better. On the other hand, I’ve asked some of these questions of the rich and at the right moment. They didn’t have a problem answering. It may be because after establishing rapport (like expressed in the video about proper topics) it’s obvious I’m not at their financial level, but also I expect to be treated respectfully. I’ve found very few rich people who don’t understand that respect and decency goes both ways. Remember they have more of one thing, but you have more of another. God made all of us, so love one another. Thank you for your lovely video. Your modesty and gracefulness is appreciated. Have a blessed day, and for all you do to sharing yourself I hope you find the man of your dreams soon!!
Once i met a wealthy man in the subway. He started talking to me and told me about his Business (he runs a big insurance company here in Germany). He told me about his employees and about the working atmosphere and so on. He also talked about his private life and that he hates having to fit in a certain cliche just because he earns more money than most people. That‘s why he also goes to work by subway instead of with his car or driver. Honestly i would have never thought that he‘s wealthy because he dresses very normal and doesn‘t look down on people. He asked me where i work and i told him that i work at the airport and he said that must be very interesting and exciting. So i really don‘t get why i should act differently with rich people, if they themselves act normal with others.
Those are my favorite people to surround myself with- successful, but real. I feel like these people are better equipped to help one on ones own path to success.
I don't like when people ask what do you do for a living immediately. People seem to think that is a basic conversation topic and don't understand why I don't like to be asked this.I don't feel like that's anyone's business unless someone is already talking about their work during a conversation. Let's think outside of the box when having a conversation, people! 📦
negrilgyrl but why on earth is this so offensive??? what people do for living is not shameful unless the asked one is a thief or a criminal and wants to hide his "profession".
@@svetlanavukolic8242 the best way I can put it is, it's like someone asking what car you drive. It's one of those things that you COULD ask because you drive it everyday, but it's really no one's business. It seems like a superficial thing to ask. What are you doing with this info? Are you going like the person more or less after knowing?
negrilgyrl So things that are public, that everyone can see, that you use everyday in public or that you practice every single day, that mostly defines you as a person, your skills, education, ....something you do most of your time is offensive to ask and talk about. Hm very strange. Than I must come from Mars.
I feel like these tips are generally polite to consider when talking to anyone. I have always thought it a bit tacky or perfunctory to ask "What do you do?", and it negates the fact that people may have a diverse set of interests or professional affiliations. It also comes off as boring drivel - like a person can't come up with something original to say. As for talking about money - I grew up with the notion that it was inappropriate to discuss it, whether you have a lot or a little. I cringe when people ask "How much does that pay?" or "How much do you make?" (because let's be honest, it's not anyone's business).
Fantastic tips for life in all areas, this channel is definitely more about elevating yourself rather than being a jetset babe, i really find it useful in all areas, a lot of psychology here and neuro linguistic programming, Anna is an excellent life coach!
@@venuselectrificata We don't have to agree on that. If I cared enough, I'd argue that no person is perfect and that everyone has been broken and broken people are everywhere. But I don't care, so we don't have to agree on anything here. Bye!
No, I just like to hang out at church picnics; I get to meet people with Tourette’s sometimes too! Do you take medication for that, or vitamins? How does that work?
The number one question is the most asked question and rudely asked question at networking events!!! Before they even tell you who they are or introduce their name.... they will ask "what do you do for work?" I despise this question
I was always taught never to ask what someone does for a living because people see it as a way to determine the level of respect one should receive. Eventually, people will tell you, if they feel comfortable doing so.
I honestly hate that question. What do you do for a living? It’s very intrusive and I look at ppl funny when they want to know that soon as we meet. So I can understand how a rich person would feel that’s intrusive.
I agree with talking about money and how uncomfortable it is, especially with people you barely know. I do a lot of work for nonprofit organizations and at a Gala I once attended, the Founder of this particular organization (who was prominent in the community) during a conversation, started talking about spending $5,000 for his Movado watch and he mentioned spending a few thousand dollars on something else that I cannot remember. I felt so uncomfortable with him talking about how much he spent. I later found that some Guys do that to impress Women but this Gal was far from impressed hahahaha.
I agree, I’m not impressed with men that brag about how much they make or what they spent what fancy cars and bragging what salary they have when I didn’t ever asked than any of those questions and would never ask them those personal questions. In fact I dated someone who bragged about some of those things without me asking and I decided not to date him again.
Omg yes! I always felt that "What do you do?" was such an intrusive and opportunistic question. Growing up, I was taught to stay away from asking people "what do you do?" But then I was brought to the States where this is such a common question. I felt the cultural shock quickly, even after living here for so many years I still feel it. I hate asking it as much as having to answer and I'm not financially well off.
It depends on the setting. there's a time and place for everything. At a networking event its normal to discuss your field of study, profession and accomplishments. Modestly and appropriately. Timing and setting is EVERYTHING. You are able to say "im not at liberty to discuss" if approached casually and if they are persistent you can follow up with "I'm a private individual " then reposition another question to THEM. If you aren't at liberty to discuss a particular topic, then you dont have the liberty to ask THEM about that topic. If you're going to entertain the question regarding your profession but still want to be discreet...you can say "I have a variety of interests, and involved in a lot of things." Again, if persistent you can follow up with a general yet variety: " I have a passion for the arts, finance and travel" then reposition the question "what interest you" or discuss a new art exhibit or event of interest that is trending. Just make sure the discussion pertains to the interest of the audience...
I have always hated it when someone asked me what I did for a living. Now that I am at retirement age and so are others I am around no one asks me. I so appreciate this even though I will continue in my business as long as the good Lord allows.
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It is worth pointing out that "How do you do" is a statement, not a question. In England, if someone says "How do you do", never ever reply by telling them how you are. You simply reply with "How do you do". Also, avoid pronouncing it with a raised inflection at the end like you would if it had a question mark. There is no question mark with "how do you do" so it is important to lower your inflection. It is easier to do this if you practice a little nod of the head as you say it.
This is so helpful. Before I read your comment I Googled "how to answer how do you do" and this is exactly what I read.
As an american I think i would rather say how are you
Stefanie Rene Imagine meeting someone for the first time and being asked ‘how are you’ it seems overly familiar for someone who doesn’t know you to ask in a social setting especially with people from the higher society. That’s just me though I’m also English so culturally we behave differently 😊
In America People don't treat each other like strangers next door neighbors and people within your community is ok to say 'How are you" some people even kiss on their cheek in Spain and most Hispanic countries. You can say "how are you" but not as a question just as Sarah pointed out.
Nina Anwamane isnt how do you do an old way of asking how are you?
The bottom line is that you should act around rich people how you would with the poor. Be classy. Be kind. Be yourself. It's not rocket science.
Good one
For real.. I dont know why.. I think when we remove masks of rich and poor ANd only be women...
bravo!
@@jasondads9509 I am not wealthy but I've been around that social class. They are just like us in that some are educated and refined and some are crass and never picked up a book since high school. It really depends on how they amassed their wealth and how they were raised.
@@jasondads9509 Well I would describe myself as a member of the working class. I'm often broke but I would never consider myself poor, because as an American I'm blessed compared to the billions in the world living in abject poverty. That being said, I did not grow up with money but my father, who grew up middle class, received a full ride and graduated from Harvard, so by default I grew up educated. He struggled with mental illness so he was never able to live up to his potential of being a high earner. My mother's highest level of education was that she graduated high school, but she is savvy with money and invested in her later years. She also taught herself interior design and taste. My point is that money does not equate style, education, manners or graciousness. You can have those qualities without it. On the flip side you can be handed wealth by your family and lack all of those fine qualities, and even be absolutely insufferable.
Surprisingly, your rules apply when speaking to non-rich people as well.
I feel like they should apply for everyone.
We should always be respectful
Exactly, i do not like when men ask me what i do or in which area I live. They typically are trying to see where i fit in society, then next thing i know they ask me to buy them a car lol 😂
@@Nadia-mx3ux totally! I get bugged about where I live question too, but more because they are trying to size up their level of convenience I dating. It's not a rich person question, it's a dating question since too many people date for convenience, not for love
@@riobrasilsambashowssambist1453 Very good point, it is more convenient. Also in my case they also ask if I am a property owner or if I rent lol. I swear times have changed. Men act like women. They are after sex AND $$$. it is disappointing as I am young and I worked hard for what I have. I refuse to date these "men".
"Awkward questions, like: Do you have a yacht?"
Right, the proper question is: How many yachts do you have?
😂
lololol
😅😂💯
😂😂😂
"hm..not much, maybe 4 at least"
in GTA games :D
Don’t ask rich people what they do. Aka they might be drug dealers
Lol. Or a human trafficker, etc.
Or a hit man.🤣
Or money laundering or loan shark or con artist who won't tell you the truth anyway. Lol
Or the mafia.
Ya. How else can you make it these days. 😂😂😂
If a person who is "rich" is not humble enough to have a regular conversation with me I am not interested of knowing anything about that person.... Keep the conversation short and thats it!!! I will never try to pretend someone that am not....!!!! STAY HUMBLE!!!!!!!!!
Mayra Alcala when you’re networking, especially for a job, you might want to act a little nicer to people who can get you somewhere better
@@noodles1291 I can see your point... But,....NICE... Comes with in you if you are genuine, and passionate about something you will always be professional.... Yes you can learn a thing or two from a "rich" person.... Trust and believe me i deal with rich people all the time and ive been blessed to run into humble ones but the snotty ones, i keep it professional and move along...
@@noodles1291 To a point, but you don't have to , nor should you, kiss ass just to get ahead, in the long run it doesn't get you anywhere, but turning into someone you are not - you can be polite, but you should always be nice, should not have to be "nicer" to some people than others, when you start doing that, you are not staying true to who you are, you are "sucking up"
@@mayraalcala3059 Well I don't think a wealthy person would be interested in becoming friends with a vulgar person like you. Don't be jealous only because they've had become more successful then you.
@@imatexangirlgoode2587 how was she vulgar?
I’m not rich and I feel actually offended if someone I’ve never met before asks me straight up what I do for living.
To me it also comes off as extremely crass and invasive. People need to learn boundaries.
I hate this question. I wish people wouldn’t ask.
Marie Evans Don’t assume I’m looking for a wealthy man just because this is what the channel is about.I love how feminine Anna is.Id like to learn more from her not because my dream is to be part of the high society,but purely because I prefer to work on my appearance.Regarding the”What do you do?”,I’m aware it’s part of the society,but build rapport first asking emotional questions vs.logical.
ME TOO! I always have and people act like I'm crazy for it
Same here, claudia claudia!!!
Be friendly yet slightly reserved, show good manners, avoid cliches, slang and profanity. Dress modestly and appropriately for the situation, pay attention to personal hygiene and be confident yet humble. Be careful with use of alcohol. That's it, you can fit in anywhere. Everyone regardless of wealth and status deserves to be treated respectfully.
Thanks
That goes for everyone regardless of how much money one has. I am perfectly capable of managing myself in social situations and I'm not going to alter my behaviors based on how much money someone has.
Be yourself and appreciated for yourself. No games and no phoniness is my motto. Someone doesn't like it, move on to someone that does. You'll be figured out eventually.
I’m naturally friendly but slightly reserved- and I don’t like asking too many questions... I don’t like being quizzed either... never knew I was so classy! 😅
I would rather listen to you than Anna. Her approach suggests that if you are not rich, you can’t be classy. I have watched some of her videos and I feel, like she is belittling women’s capabilities being able to have sophisticated looks or conversations, unless they are rich. We’ve seen enough celebrities cut in situations that were anything but classy. So much for money…
Funny thing is that rich people don’t really have a problem asking YOU what you do. I don’t have a problem answering, but the moment you ask back they give you a weird look...
Only some ask though...those are usually rich people who did not grow up rich tbh...or they could be just making sure to protect themselves it depends...
yes, I actually have felt it's so strange when wealthy people asked me what I do. It felt invasive and like why do I need to be totally transparent when they do not? I would love to have a better way to answer them..
KALI Vireshwara maybe try speaking about the field or industry that you work in, rather than your actual title and day to day responsibilities (for example: I work in finances for a large non-profit based in Maryland/US)
exactly
In agreement
The sad and horrible truth is "What do you do?" Is a direct question asked by people to determine how
Much respect they are going to give you.
Very gauche and American. It's hard for me to go out anymore because apparently everyone and their mother needs to know what I do for a living... They're embarrassing themselves and don't even know it.
Lovely Amberlina so true
So true, and I have just ignored the question before as if I didn't here it. Age too. Since when is it polite to ask a lady her age. For me it is a difficult question because I'm disabled but 8 could say retired. I look young for my age to young to be retired. I guess I won't be dating any rich men. It's ok. After watching these videos I have decided that I don't want to meet "rich" people.
It's a very pernicious question
Soo true
Words like "you are a nobody" and " you probably never gonna be on their level". Very rude. Rich or poor, no one is a nobody.
But that's the facts of life. The world has categories whether we like it or not.
@@maretvilla1531 The world has social classes, but it isn’t elegant - never mind polite! - to be so blunt about it. I attended finishing school and if anyone had called someone “a nobody”, we would have been severely punished. Nobody is “a nobody” and I was raised to know that the server is just as important as the CEO, and just as deserving of courtesy.
@@cloverazar5315 I agree
There's no room nor justification for all kinds of rudeness no matter what class you belong to. But. We all know the world is divided and will always be divided and there would always be people that would be on the bottom of the ladder, the lazy bum, etc.
You're taking what she said out of context. It's only right you should not act rich when you know and the people around you know that you're not rich. And there are lots of people like that. They have biggest ego regardless who they're with, even when they are the biggest nobody in that room.
@@maretvilla1531 I am not taking what anybody said out of context, Maret. With respect, it’s a direct quote, and one I respectfully disagree with.
It is inelegant to call anyone a nobody. No if, ands or buts about it. It doesn’t matter if the individual is the laziest bum on the planet; elegance is knowing that everyone should be treated graciously and with respect.
@@maretvilla1531 Everyone is buried in the same dirt.
I’m a small town country boy in the south. My family thought me all of this growing up on the farm. So it’s not just the rich its manners. When I lived in West Hollywood I was shocked how many people ask what I do. It’s rude and I never answer with my main line of work and answer with my fun side job. And they assume I was a nobody then move on. Little do the know I’m red dirt rich and the value of land. All they saw was my blue jeans and pickup truck. Then go talk to the broke guys wearing Prada. Don’t judge a book from its cover y’all.
I agree don't judge a book by it's cover.You just never know.
WE all have stories about these attitudes....silly people who judge a person only by their clothing deserve to get the embarrassment that is coming their way. OLD money people often dress down, drive simple cars and have zero need to show off...actually, showing off brings them unWANTED attention! They actually prefer to glide under the radar.
👏👏👏
Sybil Francis yea money is nice but love And family is more important. When the farm got split apart and my realities greed broke my heart, money could be gone in a minute. Would love still be there?
Wealth comes in many forms.
Be elegant. Be classy. Be mysterious. Be confident. Be mindful of your posture & body language. Listen more than you talk. Make eye contact. Don't be offensive. Watch their behaviors, body language and mirror them but be yourself. They can spot a fraud a mile away.
I talk a lot 😉🤣🤣 but i listen everything too🤔🤔. I love to talk😂😂
I will be bored to hell with you.. I mean what I should ask what is your latest book..what do you think about the economic trends.. asking what do you do is also an indication what is your level of education. If you answer me I am rich..I will ask what are you studying...I just dont get it
Eva, I can see where you are coming from. But I think you are comparing two different types of people. I think you are used to conversing with more intellectual people, more educated people. The rich do not necessarily fall into this category. You would probably be most comfortable with those in Academia who have inquiring minds. Rich people have minds to make money not necessarily interested in knowledge and learning. I am more comfortable with educated people myself, who enjoy conversing on a number of varied topics, than with rich people. I don't exactly get where they're coming from so I tend to avoid them when I can. LOL;)
It’s not easy nowadays to know whether or not someone is wealthy because wealth now is built much different than many years ago. That also changes the behavior of the so called rich. I am from Germany and my family was amongst the wealthy before WW2. I however was born into relative simplicity and taught that just because we didn’t have much money, didn’t mean that we should not dress neatly and act and speak properly. Some people, I have met thought that I was wealthy but I was poor. I am not a fraud just because I don’t know any different than to speak or act different. It’s how I was raised. I am wondering however, whether or not todays rich can tell the difference between the modern rich and old wealth rich. If that makes sense 🙂🙂
No. I do what I want.
One that I learned from experience: If someone complements your clothing, don't say how much it cost, or the story behind getting it, just say thank you.
You are supposed to answer 'what, this old thing", ha ha its an old as joke answer
@@sueelliott4793 I think in my opinion saying, this old thing, downgrades the compliment. It’s better simply to except a compliment and say thank you even if the article of clothing is older or you think it doesn’t look that good.
If you receive ANY compliments, say thank you.
arghh I hate it when people ask me where'd you get it? Because I know they would go out and buy the exact same color and thing I have
It took me being around people who knew how to take a compliment to be able to do this myself. The first woman who simply said "Thank you" instead of telling me about the piece had me FLOORED
There is a HUGE difference between “Rich” and “Wealthy” people! I have friends in all ‘social’ classes and I can tell you the most polite & honest friends are either working class or wealthy. Rich people still work(ish) and are mostly trying to keep up with other rich people and when more likely than not they are mostly just in debt. Wealthy people don’t care, they can call out genuine people in a snap. As mundane & cliché as it sounds, just be yourself and live by the Golden Rule; treat everybody the way you would want to be treated. From my journey from poverty to an affluent lifestyle, I have been very respectful and grateful that I have been given the opportunity to give back to my community. I have also seen many ‘rich’ people tend to brag about money & possessions and define themselves by what they own or neighborhood they live in. Wealthy folks tend to be so much more down to earth, just classy & beautiful people, even driving 20 yr old cars and wearing jeans-yep, against all etiquette, unless it’s a charitable benefit or event! They rarely speak of money or possessions but tend to focus on their family and friend, interests & hobbies, etc. What I also found was when you first start attending some benefits or banquets many were more interested in who I was and asked many questions about my interests, hobbies and passions. It really has been such a breath of fresh air to surround myself with just good honest people, no matter what class status or possessions they may or may not have.
Tell me how to become rich
Although I am very unlikely to meet someone extremely rich, I would not care what they thought of me. To suggest that they may think I’m not on their “level” says more about them then it does about me. In my opinion, money is not what makes someone worth knowing. It is their thoughts and ideas and how they treat others that is important.🌷
👏👏👏👏
True class!!
Exactly. And no matter how wealthy someone is, you cannot buy class and good manners, it comes from within.
@@user-nl4yn5yo4o I disagree. It is learned.
@@kathleenferguson3296 Ummm I didn't say class and good manners can't be learned. What is your point?
Ok, but... are rich people a different form of humans or what? What do you mean with “things you should never say to rich people”? Let me understand... if I own a lot of money I own respect? Respect isn’t something that people buy. I talk to a rich person the same as I talk to a homeless person.
Thank you!!! Was wondering if anyone else was thinking the same that all these people group rich people as some kind of separate entity or something. That is unattainable and put on some kind of pedestal. Like stop. They're not a different kind of species and they are not automatically deserving of the utmost respect. I too, converse the same to a homeless person as I would a rich person
Fayanna Rena I totally agree with you.
Exactly
No their not a different form of human or species the are just more well aware people are going to try to use them for what they have. So they themselves, their families, and even rich friends of theirs are always on the look out for gold diggers and social climbers.
Swiddy If you don’t know this but Anna’s RUclips channel is also for those who aspire to enter the high society 😂 that’s why “things you should never say to rich people” is here.
Also, I think you can try to understand the different types of rich. Old money rich (4 generations), new money rich, celebrity rich, lottery rich etc. they all have varied attributes in their life styles and how they converse with people.
Rich people are not “different species” but their perceptions, values, thoughts and habits are different to the masses.
My parents always taught us to NEVER discuss money in a casual setting. We weren’t to mention what we drove, nor did we mention the price of anything! We never spoke of people we knew, and didn’t talk about any family member in regard to status, possessions, business, or education.
As my mother said, “It’s just not done.”
Sounds like... You were rich.
I KNOW! Where has all the restraint gone? And ‘It’s not done.’ Was our family motto.
Barbara Bush: "It's rude to talk about money; whether you have it or whether you don't."
When first I met Edgar, I was far more interested in "what do you do for enjoyment?" than what he did professionally. He was intrigued and became more engaging. We talked for hours and found a great many common interests. The relationship took on a life of it's own, money was NEVER a topic to discuss. He sensed no matter what my own needs were, I'd NEVER accept money from him. To this day he loves and respects my fierce independence. I love him for him. BTW: He still offers $$$ if I want/need it. I can take care of myself. I accept some gifts though, as long as they aren't ostentatious. Love your videos Anna.
High society exists whether you want to acknowledge it or not. You don’t have to ever choose to be friends with rich people that follow a certain etiquette if you don’t want to, but it doesn’t hurt to understand it. Everyone has different jobs and social scenes that require different skills and these videos can be very helpful for some!
Am I the only one that believes these are truths for dealing with all people. No one wants to hear a sob story or hear a person brag about themselves.
This is good common sense for dealing with ALL people.
JND 0630 No one wants to hear a sob story, she says. So those with them should stuff it. Pay for therapy. Unless your sob is about money. Then hope you have a phone and a crisis hotline answers. That’s the world now people.
When ppl ask howI'm doing, I say," Unbelievable!'' and then ask them. It's short, unexpected and a bit mysterious (unbelievably what?) They almost invariable follow up on it, and I always come back with something very short and positive, like, 'Absolutely perfect weather for collecting butterflies." Something a bit offbeat that I've been noticing on my nature walks. Always something seasonally appropriate, recreational, and interesting. Right now it's the ski report....chances of SNOW! YAY!
"Rich people will know you are a nobody" - honestly rich people would be absolutely nowhere without those "nobodies", it's not like you take care of your own trash or grow your own food. Everyone deserves respect and calling someone a nobody is not "elegant" or appropriate no matter who you are or how much money you have.
This video is teaching people of how to be shalow ,manipulative and arrogant...
@@kp-tq1fw how?! What I'm hearing is to stay modest, discreet and briefly be well educated and have common sense! This type of things apply anyways to everybody. Not just in a conversation with a rich person. I don't even know that type of rich people, but still found it informative.
Exactly and it's probably 'nobodies' who are putting money in their pockets. Referring to business and company owners here.
I agree
Best comment!
I say, "I don't talk about work when I am not at work".
It's funny how fast status seekers disappear & how cool people agree then open up.
Damn I'm going to be tempted to start answering that know lol I will probably just get a weird or offended look back as usual tho pfft
i don't get why people can't talk about their jobs. I find it quite interesting because it lets you know what that person is into. I guess...
Common Sense exactly, I don’t talk about my position because I’m not passionate about it.
Nice one
It's funny that you assume people who generally like to learn about the people they're with are "status seekers." That says a lot more about you than it does them.
Asking people "What industry are you in" is so helpful!!!! As a hairstylist, I constantly meet new people, I want to appear engaging without being intrusive. Awesome tip!!!!!❤
Phoebe Buffay: “so, where does everyone summer?” 😂
Arianeful 😂😂😂
SAN TROPEZ
Arianeful ahahah I just saw this in a facebook post😂
I read that in her voice:)))
Omg Yassss
I’m living in USA now and people here always ask direct questions and I always feel embarrassed and violated in my privacy, it feels good to hear that is actually good etiquette and not me being uptight
dont ever hesitate to say " no offense but that informaion is personal" Say it with a smile and look 'em straight in the eye. You will feel more empowered in conversations. Dont give away your power.
Thank you @@Mywatercrystaltv ! I'll try that next time. Thank you for sharing it's a good thing to say and still be polite and on top of that empowered as you said,
You can always just be a little vague. Americans like to ask a lot of questions to show that they are interested to know you and not being self-centered in conversation. hope this helps
@@alethiaeden As an American I agree with this statement. It really is to keep conversations flowing. Questions about what you do for a living or where are you from are surface level questions. We don't actually dig deeper into casual conversations.
Agree! I’ve never been comfortable with being asked or asking questions of people I’ve just met... never knew I was so classy! 😅
You should say 'sup y'all'
LOL..
🤣
Good one if it's your usual greeting. Honest. Non pretentious.
Hahaha
Say WASSUP LOL😂😝
Oh wow. Is it 2019. Rich is not a level, it just means you have alot of money. Some rich people are nice, some are not, some are worthy of respect but not because they are rich. Money does not make people better, above or more worthy than anyone else. It certainly doesn't make you more intelligent or special.
What are you doing on this channel?
@@annaint.1414 Some got this reccomended. It's not their fault.
@@missxmarvel guess what, if they got this recommended, this is what they watch, and RUclips sends those recommendations based on their searches and based on what their watch history.
Anna Int. Sorry but that’s not true. I watch videos that has nothing to do with rich folks. I had a video recommended about wasps while I’m terrified of these fuckers and I don’t watch any vids that revolves around insects. So how do you excuse that?
Level may not be the right word. Plane, perhaps, could be
Funny how you see rich people.. Most of the rich people I have met are anything BUT classy. I rearly see any elegance nor class in those circles in these days.
Same here. Maybe its where I live the super rich here are classless here... just the ones I've come across I'm sure there are some good ones around here...
Agree! Look who's in the White House.
Aye so we you guys live LA too? 😂💀
That’s very true! A lot of them are gross and they have no morals.
"New money" are a crude bunch to be sure. I've experienced them picking their nose at an engagement n act like ure just supposed to deal with it. My assumption is she's not even remotely wasting these skills on them. And neither shud we. I wanna be a princess,😉!!!
Please do a video on what rich people should not say or do to poor people!!!!!
They should simply not give that 'condescending look' they do when around or even that 'pity look'.. just don't. Be compassionate and treat them as you would everyone in your everyday life.
Love your petition. It is fair, isn't it?
It would be INTERESTING........
She can't do that, because that's not the topic she teach about. Maybe you are just not interested in her teachings and her videos are not for you. 🤷
@@amylove5431 I think it is useful to know what to say to both. You want to be yourself and not offend.
For the last tip insted of How do you do, you can also say - Pleased to meet you , It's a pleasure to meet you or Hello with a nice smile will do too
I like to say "nice to see you"
Another off-putting question is "What did your parents -especially 'father' do for a living?" THAT is the ultimate in being intrusive and in trying to ascertain one's social status. That, of course, has not been used by affluent people, in my experience.
@@AnnaBeyOfficial How would one respond to that question?
@@thatsclassicher1149 just say what industry he works in, that way its a vague answer, and if they ask for more just smile at them and dismiss them. Remember, you don't owe them anything, you are trying to be one of them and to fit in.
@@waodaaaaa that's a good technique, thank you :-)
A common phrase in the south is “Who’s your Daddy? Are you Catholic? And can you make a roux?” Lol.
One of the guys I dated when I was a fresh graduate asked me that, I don't think I ever saw him again :D
I usually ask Rich people “How much money do you have exactly?”
Okay Jack Benny
😂😂😂😂😂
Too much....
lol
Same asking about their net worth source and annual income
Better read your Bible -- true story of the rich man and LAzarus the beggar. See what the outcome was for the rich man who was arrogant and haughty in nature. LAzarus entered eternity comforted ,whilst rich man entered torment . Dont be too proud and haughty, Only God sits THAT high! God lifts up the humble man, and He resists the proud .
The Bible is a bunch of made up stories.
Steffie perfect
Haha. There's no true stories in the bible.
@@AlexandertheGreat99 There may be snipits of truth here and there. But, that is true for most mythologies. Same can be said for any alleged holy book.
That's so thoughtful of you.
Amen to that🤗.
I am glad to see people not only giving precious advices but also taking these advices seriously. It is so unflattering , especially in the U.S culture to ask about one´s status right away. In most countries this has always been one of the worst things you can do when you are getting to know someone; immediately a turn off. Etiquette should be a mandatory class for children in the U.S and abroad. Don´t think, even for a moment, that this lady is all about shallow subjects when she is dedicating her time and sharing secrets that are treasured for many of us. Etiquette might end up saving your life , whether professional or personal. Carry on with your amazing course, Anna. Tack så mycket för hjälpen.
Is that Swedish for thank you for helping? I’m just guessing because it looks similar to another language I speak.
I only surround myself with people who are positive, uplifting, have integrity, a heart, trustworthy, of course FUN-materially rich or poor. Toxicity is my red flag. I could be surrounded by wealthy people and actually not want to be around them because of their values, behavior, and overall energy. Just because someone has money doesn’t mean they aren’t toxic for you and themselves. Choose who you surround yourself with wisely people! They will either lift you to your potential or lower you.....inspire you or drain you.....money or not.
Well said Laura Stone - it should not matter if you have money or not - it's how you treat people that matters
So true
Exactly ❤️
True
I worked in a country club
I feel like these tips can be applied to daily life too.
I’m happily married so I’m not interested in dating but I really find you videos helpful. I grew up in a very affluent area. My family were not rich. I never really felt comfortable with rich people even though I went to school and even dated a few rich guys. My goal was to find love and companionship with a man who had great potential so we could build a successful life. I wanted to be able to look back on the life we built together with pride.
Wow, I have just realized that I don't need to have any rich person in my live. I couldn't stand having a conversation with someone knowing that I have to avoid normal conversation topics that are absolutely normal, because OMG they could discover you are not as rich as them!
It is definitely rude to ask someone what they do or what they own. I think she is just trying to point out you should be more conscious of that.
@@kl5881 Why is that rude? After all, we ask people what they do all the time. That is conversation, part of getting to know someone. Surely you have asked people what they do for a living, why would rich be any different, after all it is likely more interesting to know, which is why people ask.
@@carpo719 Some people dont want you to know how they make money. It doesnt matter if you are rich or not. You seriously cant think of a scenario where someone wouldnt want to answer that question?
These rules are also excellent for women who are to enter the corporate world or any sort of professional setting. BTW: This lighting is perfection! You're glowing!
I find the rich (or those that think they are better than u) are the ones that ask these awkward questions - I call them “Owls” - the “what do u do crew” 😃. When I go to certain high-end events, etc I can see people itching to ask, “so, what do u do?” Happens all the time. They’re trying to pigeon hole me. I now say, “oh, this and that” then I throw the question back at them - they don’t like it because they think it’s ok for them to ask (rude) but not the other way around 😏
joosyme Precisely. I get these questions a lot from them so what do I say? I try to be broad and ask them right back.
Sooo true same happens to me often
Sounds extremely tacky to me!
Not true. I don't like it because I am afraid for certain reasons, I answer. I don't see anything wrong with asking that.
Lol
Money, as well as social status, blinds and controls people. This video is a perfect example of that.
Not always!
Not entirely true. There are some people who are dirty rich yet are more humble than most people ive met.
Her whole channel revolves around high society and the elegance needed to survive in the upper class
@@AnnieNugget why u are even here ?
So does love, power, greed and insecurity. You can pick and choose your poison when it comes to the thing that brings you to your knees
I'm a self made multi mill and I don't mind it at all when people ask what I do, I love talking about my success and I love hearing the success of others.
Congrats. Any advice on succeeding and not giving up when going through a rough patch in life?
So, Jess, what do you do for a living?
That’s because you’re “ new money”
Old money or the wealthy do not like flaunting their wealth or discussing it .
I agree... I don't know where she finds the ppl she is talking about but I like talking about my success and listening to others...I don't care even if it's a minimal amount of money...let's talk.
Money can't buy class
I worked in the LA area for years, often servicing Beverly Hills. My main take away was this: the truly wealthy/successful people were actually quite polite and friendly. There was no ego and no display of thinking they were above me. The people who lived in the not-wealthy areas of Beverly Hills were the ones who would sometimes act like they were better than you. If you interact with a wealthy person who is stuck up, they are likely just pretending to be wealthy.
As someone that grew up in a wealthy place, it’s generally not common for someone to ask you straight away what you do, but it’s not exactly looked down upon. They love talking about businesses and what they do, and the conversation gets there anyway. Edit: there is nothing wrong with ‘Nice to meet you.’ Nobody looks down at it or gets the impression at all. ‘How do you do.’ Is a statement that basically means you want to end the conversation and move onto different people. ‘Nice to meet you.’ Is much better.
What industry are you in..
I don’t try to impress anyone. I am just myself. I don’t care who is rich or poor. I act the same around everyone. People at my job ask questions about my fiancé and how much money he makes!! I think asking what someone does for a living is the rudest question. I would never ask anyone that.
have you noticed how people treat you differently if you "seem" to be doing better in life than they are or treat you like crap if they think you don't hold up to their bar (usually new money). My husband taught me to always talk about myself in a positive light especially if people ask what I do. Girl, I talk myself up...even though I don't feel that great about what I do...i don't let nosy people make me feel bad anymore. In some cultures, the rich and poor and middle class hang out with their own class. It is not a spoken rule; but, it ends up that way. I think people really cross the line though when they ask about what your significant other does too. Like really, they are really trying to put you in an income bracket. I have had people tell my husband that he must be rich to marry me. How rude is that!!! I am not a gold digger.
Emily - I agree, it is totally rude for someone to ask how much someone makes......I think it has become a cultural thing to ask people what they do for a living - it's a conversation starter, but no, no, no, never ask someone how much they make, or what they paid for their house, car, etc, just rude
Yes because wanting to know about different industries and types of business is SOOOOOOO rude. give me a break. Elitist attitude.
@@sunnidays and in some cultures, it's perfectly normal to discuss those kinds of purchases. It's helping you make an informed decision if you are interested in a similar car, what kind of expense you might be getting into.
It is rude. I don’t ask people about their personal life. They can share with me if they want. I’m not a nosy asshole.
Direct questions like what do you do, where do you live make me uneasy... especially when I have just met someone. Both questions do not give you any indication to the type of person I am.
Both questions are indirect ways to guesstimate how much money a person make that's why wealthy people hate it. They are conversation topics for the poor and middle class.
Peter Smith maybe thats why so many poor people from work asks me where i live where Im from etc. wtf I dont want to you
I am curious to know how people deal with these questions in their own lives. Anna, this could be a great topic or along those lines.
Peter Smith I literally hate that question. It’s worse when you have something at your house and people say we’re rich. Um 😐 No. It’s just a house. I have seen bigger houses.
Wow. I'm realizing I was raised with these affluent values, and most of my social problems have actually come from others expecting to interact in non-classy ways and being offended when I balk.
I'm almost inclined to think that the rich should not ask the poor these questions as well. I don't think it is snotty or condescending to be polite in return in this way. Class is a two-way street.
Growing up, this was just considered "having manners". I'm surprised the way society has degraded simple social etiquette and norms.
People in the comments missing the point of her videos ..she guides girls to get in high society..its not about us normal people
And, if you are a young woman wanting to get into high society, why? Oh yes, we know.
@@19mimi63 why so judgmental? Live your life and let others live the way they want. you are in control of your life, don't judge how others handle theirs
Now I have to practice saying "how do you do?" without sounding silly lol
I thought about Wendy Williams when she said that lol
even saying something like 'lovely to meet you' or 'pleasure to meet you' sounds better than 'good' if you don't feel like yourself saying 'how do you do' :)
@@JessiicaxXOXx thanks for the suggestions! I will apply that.
Yeah, just do it like Wendy
I thought the same thing. Would pleasure to meet you sound better ?
I’m not rich but listening to this makes me think I might be rich😂
This!
😆 🤣
My family taught me never to tell anyone how much I make or what things cost. It's just plain scummy to talk about money with strangers. Those kinds of conversations are best between partners. Plus if you tell someone how much you make or flaunt what you have, you are going to get robbed.
This should be common sense!
I used to work as a Development Director at a large museum. My job was encouraging wealthy people to donate to the organization. It was great fun! Many people absolutely do not appear well off. Getting to know them was like "dating". I would frequently ask about where they were from, their interests, just followed my gut instinct. Also asking about their pets was safe! After each meeting, get together, cocktail party, curator tour, etc. I kept notes on the conversations in our software. Developing relationships took years. I loved the job and found being myself , however with "a mission" was easy to do. It was extremely rare to work with uber wealthy who weren't nice. I learned a bunch! It's a great career if you have class, manners, inquiring mind, and well honed instincts!
If you don't mind me asking, how did you get into that field? I am graduating this May with a BA. in English Language and Literature and I would love to work in a museum or editorial workplace.
@ElizRued I got into the museum as their Volunteer program coordinator as I had volunteer management plus donor relations experience ( I had been an executive director of a non profit ) ; then the membership manager came open and I got promoted. But you can get into Development with a bachelors. You'd usually be under the tutelage of a more senior development director to learn the ropes of philanthropy. It's a learn on the job job. I'd select a few non profits that are mid size to large and ask to have a coffee conversation with the development director about how to get into the field. It's all about connections. Hope that helps
Your videos are so helpful for career women who are “upping their game.”
That's what I'm using them for!
Yesss thought it was just me 😂
N Dolma what is upping the game?
jogmas12 Here it means improving themselves / advancing their careers. :-)
@@jogmas12 trying to fit in with the "rich people" LOL this is a joke everyone should be treated with the respect that they deserve, if they do not show you respect, then they don't deserve yours just because they might have more money than you do........be yourself (unless your are a criminal, then I say you should be in jail) , if someone does not like you, then they are not worth being around
Totally agree with everything said except "How do you do" vs "Nice to meet you". I live in LA, and work in holistic health and at my wellness center we see people from all over the world, actors, billionaires, very wealthy people, and maybe it's a California casual thing, but every time I interact or hear them interacting on a business call I always hear "Nice to meet you!". Actually to be quiet honest the most wealthy people come in looking like complete bums...maybe Cali is so different, but I actually like the saying "How do you do" it's so old world, and timely!
I'm in Cali ..most of family lives there Kudos on your Business! And career
Goals.👏
' Nice to meet you/ pleased to meet you'' is more of a lower class phrase in the UK, a ' hello' with a brief handshake or how do you do is preferable.
5th generation California Native here, we REALLY despise the term Cali.
@@makailanai6283 OMG agreed. Lol
@@makailanai6283 Yes and San Fran or Frisco (just call it San Francisco or The City)
This is called basic manners.. Thank you Anna, I love this video😍😘
I remember watching this video the day it came out. I started saying "how do you do" when meeting people & in four years I've received positive/surprised responses. They seemed impressed that I used that phrase as opposed to "nice to meet you".
I’m from Islington in London. I grew up without much money to go around. I’m well spoken and very well mannered. The people moving into London maybe rich but that doesn’t mean they have etiquette, they just have money and congratulate themselves for being able to afford to live there. Not everyone, but many. Most people don’t say ‘how do you do’...but rather ‘It’s lovely to meet you’. You are confusing rich people with upperclass people. Very different!
Yes, as someone who spends a lot of time around wealthy people, I find some of the advice a bit off. It is true they're often on guard - and I totally understand why - I've seen people prey on wealthy people, often the predators are already rich themselves. I'm glad I'm not super rich, because the ones I have met have had a miserable, lonely life. I'm sure some are having fun, but a lot of them are missing things in their lives.
When I was a child I would tell my Grandmother about a new friend and she would immediately ask the questions "What do their parents do?" along with "what area are they from?" . Even as a child it made me feel uncomfortable because I could she just wanted to figure out their financial situation not who they are as a person.
Our families want us to hang out with "the right" people because you'll be surprised at the amount of opportunities you might get only by knowing the right person.
The wealthy are just as curious as others about "what a person does for a living" but only if it might affect them directly and they go about it differently. Running a background check comes to mind. Grandmothers are always looking out for their brood 😉
@@MarokoJin our families shouldnt start to pressure us to be succesful in life very early in life you know
@@illusionist1244 I think it is in the upbringing , my mom and dad actually beat me up on wrongdoings and now I am a teenager who can handle more pressure than any other kid my age , once I was insulted by my school teacher on how I will fail my future and my life and end up being pathetic
Even though I didn't reply to him because I was raised to never talk bad words to someone older and respect everyone outwardly so I could only think that one statement I heard a successful man advising and that is to reply " Go to hell I am gonna succeed . "
@@havanax8096 im sorry youve been through that, you might got used to it but deep inside one would feel like carrying the whole world on their shoulders(atleast i do) you gotta allow yourself to make mistakes and learn tı not allow disrespect from others. it took me awhile to fix this issue, i would attract similar type of abusers like my parents because i was taught to tolerate this type of behaviour by them
You are right! I feel very uncomfortable when friends asked me things like “How much was your purse?”, “what do your parents do for a living to have that much money? I know they are curious, but it still is very aggressive. I always answer like, “I don’t remember” or “it was a gift from my parents”
Good advice, I grew up being told that one does not talk about money, regardless of if growing up with money or the complete opposite. My parents told me it’s vulgar to talk about money. So I cringe when I hear people talking about how much this or that person earn or is worth. Although saying that, each to their own and all that but I feel uncomfortable when money is being brought up in conversations.x
anna ahlander
, I agree with you!!! It is so uncomfortable to talk about money be it a wealthy or poor person... It does not matter!!!
Sobeida Lagrange absolutely, but I’ve noticed it’s very common that people do talk about money or asking about how can people afford this and that or the other. I’m quite content with not knowing how much people spend on anything. I have plenty of people around me who likes to dissect other people’s money and how they’ve achieved their money etc. Up until watching Anna’s video on the subject, I thought that I was the odd one out but it’s finally ok to feel uncomfortable around talking about other people’s wealth or lack there off etc...
I totally agree! I would never ask anyone that and I get so offended when people ask me that. I’m not rich but I still think it’s offensive. And if rich people look down on me for the money I make then I don’t really want to know them. Money is just paper. It was created as a way to enslave humanity.
i don't understand why it's uncomfortable... It's the most natural thing. And at least I don't judge about the money a person has. If they ask you in a bad way, to jugde you, that's different.
Common Sense maybe you’re very comfortable asking people how much they earn or how little, whatever is your preference, but as I said I don’t judge people on their salary per month or their net worth, it’s just that I think that it is nobody’s business how little/much I earn. I judge people on how they treat me as a person and I shall treat them accordingly,simples
Great advice! I love the way you explain things. Add to the list: Never ask a person their age, jokingly or casually. It's disrespectful! Someone recently asked my age. I replied: "it is not relevant. I only serve the food." I guess he was trying to make small talk but I felt uncomfortable.
So the rich really are different. I find this extremely pretentious. If a rich person is going to judge me in such a way. I don't want to know them. Most of these things are rude among us poor folks too. Modesty and minding your own business is also big among us lower people.
Debbie Hines
EXACTLY keep on walking I have had people tell me their life’s story since I was six.
Why bother with someone so bent out of shape by a simple question.
Don’t darken my path with your uncalled for arrogance.
Rich people can be down to earth. I knew someone with a concrete business and thought nothing of getting 1 million dollar front end loaders but was just your average likable Joe. Modest house and a pick em up truck. How's it going dude?
@@JNoMooreNumbers this is true. I knew of old farmers who were millionaires who lived very simple lives. One of the nicest most down to earth people I've ever met was old money wealthy. I was being sarcastic when saying so the rich are different. I found the video totally pretentious. As if you must talk to rich people differently than you talk to anyone else.
@@debbiehines6803 And his name really was Joe.🤣
@@JNoMooreNumbers that's funny.
I've asked, so what are you most passionate about? It leaves the space open for them to really open up about their true selves.
Sound advice!
Absolutely, right. Royalty, Aristocracy, the Rich etc are all too aware of "gold diggers". They have an in-built radar (which they need to protect themselves and survive!).......
Generally speaking they are lovely and amazing people and deserved to be liked/loved for themselves not their "status".
It is laughable and sad at the same time how you are equating a somebody with someone with money and a nobody with someone middleclass or "bellow" and putting authority on a pedestal alongside this "high" society that apparently is something on "another level". I am glad I watched this video, in case I will ever "rise up" from middle class to know what not to become. Awful.
yoyoioana16 If i were to use classism in life. I would put an educated or humanitarian above some jerk with money. Asking what a person does for a living is rather old school. Your work reflected who you are-not how much money you have. Most wealthy people I don’t give the time of day. A person with dedication and purpose are much more important. And as for cars-small talk. I don’t care what it’s worth but what engine it has or is it a special car to them. I have an engineering mind.
@@lenoretalon9958 I happen to like car talk. Always been around car guys from total restorers to racing and did some work with them too. I always been to much of a tom boy for this. Spent a lot of time in the pits of ARCA. Today's soy boys could be stumped by a flat tire.
amen to that! this video is pretentious and absurd.
All of these are excellent points.
Thank you for including
"How do you do" as a greeting.
I was raised to say it and had forgotten.
It is simple, elegant and dignified without being standoffish.
Asking people what they do here in the states happens far more than it should since it should not be! Your advice is spot on especially since (in my experience) the people who often ask this are not usually well educated or educated at all. I prefer the question what industry are you in. Not only does it offer the flexibility in terms of responding, it also weeds out the people who simply cannot answer the question. Thank you 🙏🏾. So happy to have found you and I’ve officially subscribed.
I’m less than half way through and I have already learned something. I never thought about how “what do you do” could be seen as rude. Will definitely keep this in mind!
Yep learn something new daily!
I am anazed ...I had no idea. I have asked people that loads of times. Oh dear!
It’s a horrible question because people only ask it to find out how much money a person makes.
I think many people use it as a conversation starter - how do you start the small talk. If they have a line of work that is acceptable and has some status (and which they like) it can be an easy topic.
Don’t use it on anybody until you get to know them better. Let them tell you. Make small talk, not life talk.
My parents always raised us with great etiquette and since the age of 6 it’s always been how do you do never nice to meet you .
I accidentally embarrassed myself in front of someone that I didn’t know was rich. I was a store manager and I was helping this client pick out a gift. When she was paying, I looked at the name on her credit card and when I recognized the last name, I jokingly asked, “are you the heiress to the such and such fortune?” She bowed her head and looked away, so I knew the answer was yes. She said, “I’m not an heiress, though; I go to work everyday.” Then I just told her I was a loyal customer of her families business and left it at that lol
Could happen to all of us.
When I meet someone new or are being introduced, I say, "It's a pleasure to meet you* with a smile, slight nod of the head and making eye contact. This shows you are engaging with the person. It establishes who you are, shows confidence and leaves a good first impression. I have had some great and interesting conversations, because of this delivery; some have even led to long associations.
As a member of an old family on the East Coast of the USA, I appreciate that you cover these important topics. I would like to share some observations with the intention of being a contribution in some small way. I have been taught a distinction between the words ‘rich’ and ‘wealthy’. Rich is making large amounts of money and living on the money a person makes. Wealthy is investing money wisely and living off the dividends or disbursements of the investments. Rich people can make 5 million dollars a month and spend six million dollars a month- and potentially end up broke and bankrupt. Wealthy people generally have a talented person keep on top of their investments and do not have those worries. Another thought has to do with how questions are phrased to immediately know the status of a person. We never, as you point out, ask directly where a person makes their money. Instead, questions fall along these lines: where did you go to school? Who were your professors or teachers? That kind of thing. These questions are questions that immediately tag the other person socially and academically, and even people who are not academically inclined will attend private schools. The circles a person travels also indicates what their current potential situation is. The professors and teachers in the small pocket of exclusive and expensive schools are well known to to other private school graduates. If a person says they attended an Ivy league school (in the US) but they do not know the names and some stories about the people there, it is immediately apparent that the person did not attend that school. It is important to maintain truth and integrity in these situations, There is a good response to being asked this question and it often works because the response is a little vague, but always truthful. An example: “I have always been creative, so a school that encouraged the arts was the best fit for me. I am glad because…” changing the focus at the end of the sentence redirects the conversation away from the intent of the conversation and it would be considered rude to pursue the original question once it has been redirected. Many wealthy people do not ‘work’ in the traditional sense, and they use vague words to avoid embarrassment or potential jealousy or envy that can result from this disclosure. Being vague -again, always truthful - is a good way to not get derailed immediately and wealthy people with trust income (as an example), are able to side step this question with success. Envy and jealousy are to be avoided at all costs because of the inherent nature of these emotions- it is definitely not safe to be around people like this. I have had people try to sell me something and when I hear, “you can afford it!” I always feel insulted. This attitude shows up in body language as well as the spoken word. One thing most people do not consider is that it takes a lot of money to keep what you have and the more money a person has, the most expenses they will have. It is just easier to be around people who know and who respect this fact. An excellent approach might be to have interesting accomplishments to become a more interesting person… learning to paint, taking up SCUBA diving, joining the Audubon society with trips trips to identify birds, taking fencing lessons - that sort of thing makes a woman a more interesting person to talk to and to show off to friends. I have often heard “There are women you play with and women you marry”. The women worth marrying are discrete, good lovers, socially supportive (yes, writing thank you letters, etc), and - this is a big one - able to hold their own with the sisters, mothers, and friends of the desired man. Women are the social power players and not to be underestimated. An aside: I love who you are and what you are doing, Anna! Women need an advisor, mentor, and role model like you. You are much appreciated!
I do not know how some of the text has lines through it…. Please excuse this.
-yooo-
Add this - on either side of your text without spaces and you should see the -crossed out- effect on posting your comment
ma spesso sono gli uomini a voler sbandierare i soldi per conquistare una donna
@@deneballantine6816 You also lost the paragraphs...
I've always hated when people ask what I do, I hate asking it. There's more fun things to talk about then work.
can't believe that people worry how to talk to rich people wtf🤦🏻♀️ rich or poor there is no diference
just be yourself, don't have to act just to impress rich people...
She's referring to a certain culture that exists. It's real, so why not
You can be a great person and still make these mistakes. You may think you are just making polite conversation but there are people who ask “What do you do for work?” Who have bad intentions to use you for your money.
You are so right!
"Be yourself" is the top of the list of advice that sounds better than it actually is. I have worked a variety of jobs and enjoy learning about occupations that make the world work. I hate being told by total strangers that my motive is otherwise.
You have to just talk to lots of people to suss this stuff out
Thank you! This answered questions I’ve had for over 16 years. Everyone kept asking me what I do & I was so embarrassed to answer or later my job changed & I was forbidden to tell anyone what we do because we signed a contract so everything was top secret & a lawsuit. I never say: Nice to meet you. I don’t know why. It always makes me feel awkward when I say it, so I just let the other person say something first because I’m always nervous anyway.
Your career does not make up who you are as a person. This question always makes me crazy. You are more than what you do. I wonder if you would be too nervous to gloss over their career focused questions with a very polite comment about the weather or how lovely their hair/shoes etc look, giving them a polite but obvious cue that your career is not up for conversation?
1 What do you do
2 try to impress
3 be curious about their socio-economic status
4 prattle about your status too
5 nice to meet you
Thank you again for teaching. My grandmother taught I and my sisters to speak, "How do you do?" when meeting someone new at a social event. This point of etiquette was repeated in my life while I was in graduate school. We had a class on how to interact with school administrators, all the way up to the superintendent. I was instructed to be pleasant and confident without becoming braggadocio. Excellent lesson.
ask rich people "so, what do you do? besides exploiting the working class?''
this should be pinned :D
Nandi haha yes, do it!
And that is precisely why YOU will NEVER be wealthy...because you are CLOSED MINDED AND WILLFULLY IGNORANT
@@DrinkYourNailPolish Tell that to the sweat shop owners. Earning millions on the backs of others. Unless they became rich from scratch they don't deserve more respect.
😂😂
My English teacher always told us never to use the word nice.
Why LittleSharon? It is not the first time I hear that... I think my head is stuck with that word, hahah!!! I need to change it. :)
My English teacher too. I remember saying that I read a nice book. She repeated 'nice!'. A book is never nice she said. Instead it's an interesting book.
School Of Affluence k
That's so funny! Because I usually use the word "nice" when I'm not too impressed with something. 😄 Very few people get that, that's why I use it. I didn't know that was a rule.
Hahaha my English teacher too
Another good title is
“How to turn off rich people every time.”
Some people may not understand this video, but if you put it into practice with everyone you meet, not just the rich, it may make your life better.
On the other hand, I’ve asked some of these questions of the rich and at the right moment. They didn’t have a problem answering. It may be because after establishing rapport (like expressed in the video about proper topics) it’s obvious I’m not at their financial level, but also I expect to be treated respectfully. I’ve found very few rich people who don’t understand that respect and decency goes both ways.
Remember they have more of one thing, but you have more of another. God made all of us, so love one another.
Thank you for your lovely video. Your modesty and gracefulness is appreciated. Have a blessed day, and for all you do to sharing yourself I hope you find the man of your dreams soon!!
Once i met a wealthy man in the subway. He started talking to me and told me about his Business (he runs a big insurance company here in Germany). He told me about his employees and about the working atmosphere and so on. He also talked about his private life and that he hates having to fit in a certain cliche just because he earns more money than most people. That‘s why he also goes to work by subway instead of with his car or driver. Honestly i would have never thought that he‘s wealthy because he dresses very normal and doesn‘t look down on people. He asked me where i work and i told him that i work at the airport and he said that must be very interesting and exciting. So i really don‘t get why i should act differently with rich people, if they themselves act normal with others.
We can't be sure that he was honest.
Those are my favorite people to surround myself with- successful, but real. I feel like these people are better equipped to help one on ones own path to success.
To be short, stay humble, don't flex, and choose the right words
This country people ask too much what do you do for living??? I always found it so annoying🤨
They're stuck in their struggle. But I think it's a good idea to dress for the job you want.
In some countries in Europe it is considered very rude.
Are you in America? I agree we talk too much about work.
@@Lauren-ds3vw me? I live in uk
If you are looking to be a worker your work is your identity
I don't like when people ask what do you do for a living immediately. People seem to think that is a basic conversation topic and don't understand why I don't like to be asked this.I don't feel like that's anyone's business unless someone is already talking about their work during a conversation.
Let's think outside of the box when having a conversation, people! 📦
I think the what do you do question sounds like something you're asked on a job interview.
@@lisar915r9 Exactly! Find better conversation topics
negrilgyrl but why on earth is this so offensive??? what people do for living is not shameful unless the asked one is a thief or a criminal and wants to hide his "profession".
@@svetlanavukolic8242 the best way I can put it is, it's like someone asking what car you drive. It's one of those things that you COULD ask because you drive it everyday, but it's really no one's business. It seems like a superficial thing to ask. What are you doing with this info? Are you going like the person more or less after knowing?
negrilgyrl So things that are public, that everyone can see, that you use everyday in public or that you practice every single day, that mostly defines you as a person, your skills, education, ....something you do most of your time is offensive to ask and talk about. Hm very strange. Than I must come from Mars.
I feel like these tips are generally polite to consider when talking to anyone. I have always thought it a bit tacky or perfunctory to ask "What do you do?", and it negates the fact that people may have a diverse set of interests or professional affiliations. It also comes off as boring drivel - like a person can't come up with something original to say. As for talking about money - I grew up with the notion that it was inappropriate to discuss it, whether you have a lot or a little. I cringe when people ask "How much does that pay?" or "How much do you make?" (because let's be honest, it's not anyone's business).
Great advice thank you! Have a good evening.
Fantastic tips for life in all areas, this channel is definitely more about elevating yourself rather than being a jetset babe, i really find it useful in all areas, a lot of psychology here and neuro linguistic programming, Anna is an excellent life coach!
She forgot; leave your sailor mouth at home or reserve it for good friends😃
I recall being at a church picnic and having a lady ask if I was "gainfully employed?" I'm still offended.
church is a place for the broken
😂😂😂😂
@@venuselectrificata We don't have to agree on that. If I cared enough, I'd argue that no person is perfect and that everyone has been broken and broken people are everywhere. But I don't care, so we don't have to agree on anything here. Bye!
No, I just like to hang out at church picnics; I get to meet people with Tourette’s sometimes too! Do you take medication for that, or vitamins? How does that work?
The number one question is the most asked question and rudely asked question at networking events!!!
Before they even tell you who they are or introduce their name.... they will ask "what do you do for work?" I despise this question
Me too
“Are you on the Forbes list?” 🤣🤣🤣what savage asks that?
I was always taught never to ask what someone does for a living because people see it as a way to determine the level of respect one should receive. Eventually, people will tell you, if they feel comfortable doing so.
I honestly hate that question. What do you do for a living? It’s very intrusive and I look at ppl funny when they want to know that soon as we meet. So I can understand how a rich person would feel that’s intrusive.
I agree with talking about money and how uncomfortable it is, especially with people you barely know. I do a lot of work for nonprofit organizations and at a Gala I once attended, the Founder of this particular organization (who was prominent in the community) during a conversation, started talking about spending $5,000 for his Movado watch and he mentioned spending a few thousand dollars on something else that I cannot remember. I felt so uncomfortable with him talking about how much he spent. I later found that some Guys do that to impress Women but this Gal was far from impressed hahahaha.
I agree, I’m not impressed with men that brag about how much they make or what they spent what fancy cars and bragging what salary they have when I didn’t ever asked than any of those questions and would never ask them those personal questions.
In fact I dated someone who bragged about some of those things without me asking and I decided not to date him again.
Omg yes! I always felt that "What do you do?" was such an intrusive and opportunistic question. Growing up, I was taught to stay away from asking people "what do you do?" But then I was brought to the States where this is such a common question. I felt the cultural shock quickly, even after living here for so many years I still feel it. I hate asking it as much as having to answer and I'm not financially well off.
It depends on the setting. there's a time and place for everything. At a networking event its normal to discuss your field of study, profession and accomplishments. Modestly and appropriately. Timing and setting is EVERYTHING. You are able to say "im not at liberty to discuss" if approached casually and if they are persistent you can follow up with "I'm a private individual " then reposition another question to THEM. If you aren't at liberty to discuss a particular topic, then you dont have the liberty to ask THEM about that topic. If you're going to entertain the question regarding your profession but still want to be discreet...you can say "I have a variety of interests, and involved in a lot of things." Again, if persistent you can follow up with a general yet variety: " I have a passion for the arts, finance and travel" then reposition the question "what interest you" or discuss a new art exhibit or event of interest that is trending. Just make sure the discussion pertains to the interest of the audience...
I have always hated it when someone asked me what I did for a living. Now that I am at retirement age and so are others I am around no one asks me. I so appreciate this even though I will continue in my business as long as the good Lord allows.