I understand these women's position, you need money to make things work, life is hard without it - but it's funny how women want equality but when presented with the same deal they would never take it. So if the woman was expected to cover all the bills and pay for the husband's previous children and family they would never take that deal and yet men are expected to take that deal or they are not masculine. Bottom line is guys you need decent money to be with these ladies but don't expect much in return.
The moment any Filipina starts using phrases like "ICK," that’s an immediate turn-off for me! It’s one of those slang terms, along with other western expressions, that I came to Asia to get away from. I’m here to experience the unique culture and genuine connections, not westernized slang.
This is the reason why a man want fund a business for a women. 1. He has no OWNERSHIP in that business. 2. He is setting you up to WIN. He is setting himself up to Fail. 3. When the relationship is over you will still benefit off what he did for you while he gets no benefit when it is over. 4. There is very little to GAIN from this. Never put yourself as a man in a situation where the woman has everything to gain and nothing to lose and you have everything to lose and nothing to gain. Be smart guys.👍 They call it control. I call it being smart and protecting yourself!
Many Philippine vloggers have been to the point of now majority all wear bikinis and talk about sexual topics even when the majority are married or in “relationships” … these girls aren’t as bad as most , the Shay girl is really sweet and humble from the videos she makes
Dear ladies, let me try to explain about every single Filipina mom. The kid(s) she is having was preventable/avoidable very easily. Hence, it was and is her sole responsibility. The kid has not only her genes (50%) but also the genes (the other 50%) of the biological father. Having a kid in such a situation keeps being a reminder of the past. And any new boyfriend/husband is not willing to pay for a kid that is NOT his and not theirs (his and hers). So, my advice to every Filipina who doesnt have kids yet, to have sex while using contraceptives. Using contraceptives is cheaper than the total cost of raising a kid.
But.... If a dude is going to Marry a Filipina with a Kid don't you think it is both Unrealistic and completely Unreasonable to tell the Filipina she can't work if He is not willing to accept the responsibility of caring for the child's needs..... what the hell did he marry her for in the first place then. Just sayin
The truth is, trying to control someone out of fear is like holding sand in your hand. The tighter you squeeze, the more it slips away. But when you open your hand and give freedom and trust, the sand stays. In a relationship, the same applies - allowing your partner to pursue their passion and grow doesn’t push them away, it builds a stronger bond. Love thrives on trust, not control.
OK, this is kind of a complicated and very touchy subject. In my opinion if I’m with someone with my ex-wife, we were together for almost 30 years and I provided everything she had her own car. I bought all the food paid all the bills bought the house provided the money for the kids the groceries, you name it the vacations on occasions I helped her mom. There was one point where her mother moved in with us for a couple of months, but I’m not going to be the bank for the family. You know you’re not gonna run to me every single time because I’m the foreigner and I’m rich and tell me about your sick uncle or aunt or cousin and expect me to just shell out the money, you wouldn’t do that to your Filipino husband. Why is it OK to do it to a foreigner? You can say I’m being a hater, but the question is legit. Would you expect that from your Filipino husband or boyfriend, and if not then why do you expect it from your foreigner boyfriend or husbandand ? I have yet to have a good answer so if one of you three ladies could provide that that would be great or anyone else
Define full on as a provider. Does not mean he meets EVERY thing she wants or her entire family like a spoiled child. Some Filipinas are ready to get married, but not ready to BE married. Never date a single mom.
Nice topic Maya! I think the key is to both respect each other and support each other. The man should never impose boundaries on his wife that will make her feel like a possession instead of a partner in his life. Women need to explore their spiritual needs - what makes them happy. From what I have seen, even Filipinas who work still carry out a traditional role far more than most Western women would. Of course not all women desire to work, but just want to be a traditional wife. In that case, the man becomes the traditional head of household. He still has the job of honoring and respecting his wife. A wife is never a possession in any scenario, but a life long partner in this world. Take care there!
Men it's simple. Make it absolutely clear what you will and won't financially support. Yes, some support for her parents. But that's it. Now, that doesn't mean that you won't hire any of the rest of her family. If it's me, I would have a serious conversation with each and every family member. And make that crystal sparkling clear. You are not a bank.
Not one comment on how much? Man providing and paying full rent, food, utilities, medical, clothing with a Filipina who has one kid. He should only pay 5k peso allowance per month for a wife. Respond with how much? Leave feelings out please.
These questions should happen before the engagement process. Both parties should know what's up before getting married! I love your content by the way! Keep up the good work! Love always 🙂. Spoon.
A big issue that men have in the west, and when I listen to the lady in the middle talk, it reminds me of this. Period A man will work to provide for his family. And he gives the money he has to his family. Yet a woman will work to provide for herself. Man earns money it goes to bills. It goes to taking care of the family. Woman earns money so she can go out and do what she wants. Go shopping and be independent. There are huge issues with this mindset
Marriage should be understanding each other,supporting each other,it should be give and take,caring and support each others like,wants and needs,Give and Take is very important in a relationship.
Great video ladies! Spot on! Communication is key and being in a partnership rather than who controls who is essential for a real relationship to thrive!
OK... I will comment here..... Girls, you are absolutely correct. A partner (talking about an older foreigner), should want their GF/Wife to have self confidence and be prepared when an older foreigner passes on.... The man should be supportive of their partner either working or starting a business. In many cases the girl may be working already and maybe supporting their family... If this is the case, the man should be prepared to provide that smae level of support if they expect their partner to quit and stay home to support him only.... But the girl should be able to have input and make choices.
No we should never support someone else's family that is not them and a child of minor age. Alot of people don't work their and live off of one or two siblings when they can work
First and obvious, the two people need to agree on how the marriage is going to work which requires honesty and faithfulness to the agreement. Second, if the woman thinks that the husband's money is the family's money but her money is her money, she does not want a husband, she wants a financial supporter. If she claims to be a traditional wife then she is agreeing that her husband is the leader. Also, the husband needs to understand that she is going to feel bad if she is living well because of his income but has to watch her family live in poverty. So the husband should understand helping her family financially. But she needs to be reasonable. He can't be expected to support the entire town that is her family and what is the family doing to earn their own money. Are they not working, are they not trying, are they not contributing in some way? That would be unacceptable. So honesty about expectations needs to be communicated from the beginning. Also foreigners need to understand the culture they are marrying into. I agree when they say, be masculine if you want a feminine woman but also if they want a masculine man then remain feminine. Don't act like you are and to get the marriage and then start trying to become masculine as time goes on. If you want to be independent then don't get married. If you want to work as partners in a marriage then you both should be committed to the same purpose for which you each are a vital contributor. There is no separate purposes and lives in a marriage. That is a marriage headed for divorce. You need shared primary values, commitments, and plans for the present and future. If not, conflict is inevitable.
Wow 3 Beautiful articulate women. Well done ladies, Stick up for your rights to Provide for Your kid or the right to open a business etc. Sounds like some guys want a doormat. Heaps of Respect for You Ladies.
When a foreign man in his 60s - with a remaining life expectancy of round about 15 years - travels 10,000 km around half of the globe, just to meet a future wife, then of course he doesn't want to sit on the porch with the fifth bottle of beer and wait for hours every single day, just because his modern filipina wants to have a career and be financially independent and therefore she has a 9-to-5 fulltime job six days a week; till she will retire in 30 years when at that day the husband will be already "6 foot under" since more than a decade. No, of course not. He will ask her to quitt that job, so that they will have time together and travel the world or whatever. I have to disagree with one of the filipinas in this video; it is not a "control" thing! The true reason is, that this man's inner clock is ticking and the countdown is busy running. No time to waste! Of course when she will quitt the job, she will have a financial loss, what that man has to compensate. If he doesn't want, then she cannot go fulltime "traditional wife". But, if she is self employed and runs her own business, and maybe even from home (and that would be the perfect compromise), and therefore she has the ability to set up her schedule the way she wants, so that it will match to his schedule, than that would be possibly a scenario what could work pretty fine. If the filipina doesn't want to give up her job, even if he will pay her a monthly compensation, then she should expect that sooner or later she'll get "replaced" by an other filipina with more free time for him. Do not expect him to wait for you till the cows come home.
So you want to have your own little business? ( mostly a sarisari) but be honest, most people here dont even know the difference between turnover and profit that often means attending the sari more then 50 hours a week earning around 5000 a month, is that business?
No, and that's my main argument. If they want to "work," which entails a 40-hour-week job that brings home $100 USD, yes, I'm against that since it does not make logical sense.
I think they were confused by the question. You stated hes completely supporting her, hes just not giving extra for her extended family. I will support my wife no matter where she comes from, but her extended family is not my responsibility. Not until my extended family is being cared for by her. Unless this is going on there is a power imbalance. It emotional manipulation to expect your spouse to care for pp outside his marriage.
I think the best point all of you made is this marital dilemma is something that should have been worked out before they married. It seems unfair of the husband to prohibit his wife from working, but also won't completely support her. He can't have it both ways.
Money and marriage goes hand in hand, the man generally unconditionally keeps all of the family members, healthy and happy. Providing the income potential that everyone feels they are contributing to the whole family effort. I helped my ex get an education, opened a business for herself, and created a career for her to be self employed, and self empowered here in the USA. It can easily be done in the Philippines, and so there isn’t an excuse not to help the Filipina, to become her best version of herself. 😅
Maybe I missed it but I have heard of Expats giving their Philippina like a monthly allowance for her to buy things she needs maybe feminine hygiene products, cloths things she doesn’t need to ask for basically while the Expat still paying for everything else. Is this a common practice? a bad practice? If so what would be a good amount and give a range because I know prices vary greatly for items depending on where a person is living. Thank you in advance. Oh and if money is not really a problem
I was wondering when you would all get together again. Great video and topic as always. It's of course just my opinion, but I honestly think it strengthens your friendships as you seem to have a good time together. At least to me, it looks genuine as could be. Now, I'm probably going to shock all of you. At least with the points you've made, from what I can recall. To go a little deeper, what I would not accept would be wife who worked a full-time job and a part-time job and refused to quit either one. To me, that is not a marriage but a financial roomate who happen to have a marriage certificate. If the couple can't spend time together, they can't grow together. A doomed marriage from the start. Don't get me wrong, I would want her to work, especially if she loves her work as it can give her a sense of self-fulfillment. As we say in the US... happy wife/happy life. On a lighter topic, I appreciate your opinions on all you discussed as women. Not to criticize someone under 25, but to me, that's a girl, not a woman. A girl hasn't figured out enough about life or herseif, let alone what type of man. Many times the type she's attracted to isn't the same who she's best suited for. Leah managed to squeeze in her "wiggle" a couple times. I see things others miss Leah. So are any of you surprised an older american would actually agree with you? Let me know. I want to commend you for what you've accomplished so far in life, especially considering where you started. I realize it was difficult, frustrating and painful for years. While you might still have more to achieve, I do believe the hardest part is behind you. With tons of respect, Dean
FINALLY some realism on these blogs. The three of you NAILED it. Getting married means you decided to become PARTNERS. EACH part of the partnership should want their mate to be the best person they can be. Just because on person grows doesnt mean someone else must shrink. This idea that women become the property of men after they get married is 19th century thinking. Men supply very important thing to the relationship. Women supply EQUALLY important things. AS I have said many times through my life. Men build HOUSES Women build HOMES. Just like Men they want to be VALUED and appreciated for what they ARE......NOT what you wish them to be. If you want a maid with benefits then hire one. DO NOT marry someone so they will be your captive maid. If you dont wish to truly partner someone stop getting married. Asking someone else to stay SMALL so YOU can feel more secure means YOU are not good partner material. Many of the men who have the problems you present here had these same problems back in the west. They want no sass and they think "I bring home the money so I am the boss". BULLSHIT. If you want to be the leader be CAPABLE of leading and nurturing. Your money is supplying something......but not everything to a relationship. WAY back in the 1950s women desperately NEEDED a man to simply survive. And men abused that system for a LONG time before EVIL western women decided enough was enough. If you cant supply a more fulfilling relationship than simply bringing money home I dont need you. THATS what many Men in the west hate....... Women have choices. They are Not CAPTIVE. Some men go to the Philippines and go right for the provinces because they CAN make those women captive easier. Some men dont want to partner with women they want to hire them to be maids that are completely dependent on THEM. Its unrealistic and I am glad you three finally exposed it. Notice I said SOME men......not all. We dont hear enough of this in the vlogs. Kudos to you ladies. Of course there are marketing reasons people dont discuss this very openly lololol
Should have been discussed and agreed upon before any serious relationship develops. Why would you think suddenly changing the dynamics of a relationship will make for happiness? Happens all the time with women here in USA. And, suprise, divorce rate keeps climbing.
I never think of money when it comes to my wife and two baby boys. She takes what she needs and protects our family by making good decisions. She doesn't give money to her lazy family that can not even throw trash into a bag. It's like a landfill and prior attempts to help have resulted in zero changes. These women are not what any sensible man came to the Philippines for. Maybe they are nice but sound similar to the western women.
My relationships have been like Burger King. "Have it your way." My income is enough for both of us and a few kids. If she wants to work, she can. If she wants to stay home, she can. I make enough to pamper her too. When you take home $4K+ a month in the Philippines, you can live pretty much how you want. The girl in the middle is perfect.
Shay nailed it. Ground rules and expectations need to be discussed and agreed to before marriage happens. You have a lot of wester men who want to escape the horror of what relationships become in the West, only to do the very thing they are running from to women in the East. Not all men, but enough that you have to make a YT video on it hahaha.
I am in a relationship with an 18 year old Filipina and we intend to get married I support her now during her education and she wants to work and contribute but until she does I will continue to support her I will not isolate her only love her I earn enough to look after her but have to respect her desires
At the end of the day its still the woman’s choice if they like to stay or not,or maybe they have their own reasons why they are still in the relationship
If the couple are just partners, and if the Filipina has a child or more she has responsibilities for, the man should be the one to step up, and be as helpful and supportive as he is possible, to become one with heart and purpose.
Keep in mind that your culture includes jealousy. Men can be jealous as well 15:34 which may lead to controlling behavior. Husband should provide and Women should support his provision.
I mostly agree with these ladies, but they missed some nuance. A lot of guys coming over to SEA are shell-shocked after a painful and costly divorce that had little to do with them failing at the role of provider. They could make any amount of money, but the second the wife makes more, or thinks she can take 75% of the marital assets and get a better deal elsewhere because she's bored, she will not only stop fighting for the relationship, but try to make this man's life a living hell. Men who are interested in traditional relationships do have to provide, but when the wife wants to start her own business, she is breaking the contract. We're leaving the boss babes who "Don't need no man!" at home and searching for a true partnership like our parents or grandparents had.
A man should be secure enough to respect a woman's choice of whether she works. I grew up with a mother who worked. This should be agreed upon before marriage.
A partner is a partnership. It’s a two way street, not a one way street. If a partner needs to hold the other one down to keep him/her, you will surely lose that partner. You should grow together.
You ladies represent the ideal women. Intelligent and thoughtful, feminine and strong. Not needy but wishing to be real partners in a life. Continue to be calm, feeling and insightful. You are the goal.
Sadly, when I was looking for my Filipina GF my search was for a single woman with no kids. If you pick a woman and you know she has kids then you should also include them in the equation. My problem wasn't the kids, it's the "single" part because a LOT of Filipinas say "single" or "separated" when they should just say married but not living together. So now I have a married woman and if we want to be with each we need to find a way for her to be truly single, and that is really a hard thing to do in your country sad to say.
Hello ladies, as soon as you smile, you create opportunities. If a westerner wants to marry a Filipino housewife (often categorized as a province girl - a mistake IMO -), for sure he has to know that he shall provide fully for her needs and those of child(ren). Leah I am sure that some men will find you too independant, "feminist" and "westernised"; their loss, not yours. Given the number of Filipinos working as sailors or staff on cruise ships, how filipinas who married a sailor do manage the long abscences? The sailor provides, but the wife takes a larger part of the children education and house management, including all mishaps that happen. IMO it takes a strong and resilient woman, very difficult to find in the West.
In my opinion, he is not a good man. When you date someone or are married, you are also committed to her liabilities. The monthly allowance should include children, period.
Greetings. Hope all is well. When a man is in a committed relationship.with a woman.he’s responsible for her children if they are minors .i believe he should provide for the family. He should allow her to work if she chose to. When I was married . I was never concerned about how much money my wife made .God blessed me to take care of the household expenses. Bottom line..HER MONEY IS ALWAYS HER MONEY .MY MONEY IS OUR MONEY. Take care ladies ,great job.
Do you see what’s happening here? They are looking at a traditional relationship though a modern day lens..so the normal things a husband would provide for his wife isn’t enough anymore…this is what happens when these Filipinas get manipulated by social media and the western cultures and they love to say they different from western women when in reality their not much different
No thank you. Not for me. 💸 But thanks so much for the video. It was very informative. I feel like a fly on the wall listening to you beautiful ladies. 🪰 It’s good to know what you all expect. Totally reasonable I’m sure. But not my particular cup of tea. ☕️ Nevertheless you are all so stunningly beautiful 😍 and you’ll do fine without the likes of me. 🙂
I understand these women's position, you need money to make things work, life is hard without it - but it's funny how women want equality but when presented with the same deal they would never take it. So if the woman was expected to cover all the bills and pay for the husband's previous children and family they would never take that deal and yet men are expected to take that deal or they are not masculine. Bottom line is guys you need decent money to be with these ladies but don't expect much in return.
The moment any Filipina starts using phrases like "ICK," that’s an immediate turn-off for me! It’s one of those slang terms, along with other western expressions, that I came to Asia to get away from. I’m here to experience the unique culture and genuine connections, not westernized slang.
Fair enough!
This is the reason why a man want fund a business for a women.
1. He has no OWNERSHIP in that business.
2. He is setting you up to WIN. He is setting himself up to Fail.
3. When the relationship is over you will still benefit off what he did for you while he gets no benefit when it is over.
4. There is very little to GAIN from this.
Never put yourself as a man in a situation where the woman has everything to gain and nothing to lose and you have everything to lose and nothing to gain.
Be smart guys.👍
They call it control. I call it being smart and protecting yourself!
These women sure have been westernized…
Absolutely.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Cmon guys. Join the 21st century. The water in here is fine.
Many Philippine vloggers have been to the point of now majority all wear bikinis and talk about sexual topics even when the majority are married or in “relationships” … these girls aren’t as bad as most , the Shay girl is really sweet and humble from the videos she makes
Educated women are seen as Westernized.
I understand supporting her and supporting her family but how much is too much how much is it to the point where it's just greed and not helping
Dear ladies,
let me try to explain about every single Filipina mom.
The kid(s) she is having was preventable/avoidable very easily. Hence, it was and is her sole responsibility. The kid has not only her genes (50%) but also the genes (the other 50%) of the biological father.
Having a kid in such a situation keeps being a reminder of the past. And any new boyfriend/husband is not willing to pay for a kid that is NOT his and not theirs (his and hers).
So, my advice to every Filipina who doesnt have kids yet, to have sex while using contraceptives. Using contraceptives is cheaper than the total cost of raising a kid.
But.... If a dude is going to Marry a Filipina with a Kid don't you think it is both Unrealistic and completely Unreasonable to tell the Filipina she can't work if He is not willing to accept the responsibility of caring for the child's needs..... what the hell did he marry her for in the first place then. Just sayin
The truth is, trying to control someone out of fear is like holding sand in your hand. The tighter you squeeze, the more it slips away. But when you open your hand and give freedom and trust, the sand stays. In a relationship, the same applies - allowing your partner to pursue their passion and grow doesn’t push them away, it builds a stronger bond. Love thrives on trust, not control.
OK, this is kind of a complicated and very touchy subject. In my opinion if I’m with someone with my ex-wife, we were together for almost 30 years and I provided everything she had her own car. I bought all the food paid all the bills bought the house provided the money for the kids the groceries, you name it the vacations on occasions I helped her mom. There was one point where her mother moved in with us for a couple of months, but I’m not going to be the bank for the family. You know you’re not gonna run to me every single time because I’m the foreigner and I’m rich and tell me about your sick uncle or aunt or cousin and expect me to just shell out the money, you wouldn’t do that to your Filipino husband. Why is it OK to do it to a foreigner? You can say I’m being a hater, but the question is legit. Would you expect that from your Filipino husband or boyfriend, and if not then why do you expect it from your foreigner boyfriend or husbandand ? I have yet to have a good answer so if one of you three ladies could provide that that would be great or anyone else
Define full on as a provider. Does not mean he meets EVERY thing she wants or her entire family like a spoiled child. Some Filipinas are ready to get married, but not ready to BE married. Never date a single mom.
Nice topic Maya! I think the key is to both respect each other and support each other. The man should never impose boundaries on his wife that will make her feel like a possession instead of a partner in his life. Women need to explore their spiritual needs - what makes them happy. From what I have seen, even Filipinas who work still carry out a traditional role far more than most Western women would. Of course not all women desire to work, but just want to be a traditional wife. In that case, the man becomes the traditional head of household. He still has the job of honoring and respecting his wife. A wife is never a possession in any scenario, but a life long partner in this world. Take care there!
Men it's simple. Make it absolutely clear what you will and won't financially support. Yes, some support for her parents. But that's it. Now, that doesn't mean that you won't hire any of the rest of her family. If it's me, I would have a serious conversation with each and every family member. And make that crystal sparkling clear. You are not a bank.
As soon as the woman outearns her man it's over.
Not one comment on how much?
Man providing and paying full rent, food, utilities, medical, clothing with a Filipina who has one kid. He should only pay 5k peso allowance per month for a wife.
Respond with how much? Leave feelings out please.
These questions should happen before the engagement process. Both parties should know what's up before getting married! I love your content by the way! Keep up the good work! Love always 🙂.
Spoon.
These are two exceptionally intelligent and articulate ladies you have interviewed. Congratulations and thank you!
A big issue that men have in the west, and when I listen to the lady in the middle talk, it reminds me of this. Period
A man will work to provide for his family. And he gives the money he has to his family.
Yet a woman will work to provide for herself.
Man earns money it goes to bills. It goes to taking care of the family.
Woman earns money so she can go out and do what she wants. Go shopping and be independent.
There are huge issues with this mindset
There is a misconception! Money shouldn’t dictate the role in a relationship! All men doesn’t think that way!
Marriage should be understanding each other,supporting each other,it should be give and take,caring and support each others like,wants and needs,Give and Take is very important in a relationship.
Shay sounds level headed. She would do well in business.
Great video ladies! Spot on! Communication is key and being in a partnership rather than who controls who is essential for a real relationship to thrive!
There is no job more important than being a mother. If a Filipina is not fulfilled by being a stay-at-home mom, she can find another man.
OK... I will comment here..... Girls, you are absolutely correct. A partner (talking about an older foreigner), should want their GF/Wife to have self confidence and be prepared when an older foreigner passes on.... The man should be supportive of their partner either working or starting a business. In many cases the girl may be working already and maybe supporting their family... If this is the case, the man should be prepared to provide that smae level of support if they expect their partner to quit and stay home to support him only.... But the girl should be able to have input and make choices.
No we should never support someone else's family that is not them and a child of minor age. Alot of people don't work their and live off of one or two siblings when they can work
First and obvious, the two people need to agree on how the marriage is going to work which requires honesty and faithfulness to the agreement. Second, if the woman thinks that the husband's money is the family's money but her money is her money, she does not want a husband, she wants a financial supporter. If she claims to be a traditional wife then she is agreeing that her husband is the leader.
Also, the husband needs to understand that she is going to feel bad if she is living well because of his income but has to watch her family live in poverty. So the husband should understand helping her family financially. But she needs to be reasonable. He can't be expected to support the entire town that is her family and what is the family doing to earn their own money. Are they not working, are they not trying, are they not contributing in some way? That would be unacceptable.
So honesty about expectations needs to be communicated from the beginning. Also foreigners need to understand the culture they are marrying into.
I agree when they say, be masculine if you want a feminine woman but also if they want a masculine man then remain feminine. Don't act like you are and to get the marriage and then start trying to become masculine as time goes on.
If you want to be independent then don't get married. If you want to work as partners in a marriage then you both should be committed to the same purpose for which you each are a vital contributor. There is no separate purposes and lives in a marriage. That is a marriage headed for divorce. You need shared primary values, commitments, and plans for the present and future. If not, conflict is inevitable.
Wow 3 Beautiful articulate women. Well done ladies, Stick up for your rights to Provide for Your kid or the right to open a business etc. Sounds like some guys want a doormat. Heaps of Respect for You Ladies.
When a foreign man in his 60s - with a remaining life expectancy of round about 15 years - travels 10,000 km around half of the globe, just to meet a future wife, then of course he doesn't want to sit on the porch with the fifth bottle of beer and wait for hours every single day, just because his modern filipina wants to have a career and be financially independent and therefore she has a 9-to-5 fulltime job six days a week; till she will retire in 30 years when at that day the husband will be already "6 foot under" since more than a decade. No, of course not. He will ask her to quitt that job, so that they will have time together and travel the world or whatever. I have to disagree with one of the filipinas in this video; it is not a "control" thing! The true reason is, that this man's inner clock is ticking and the countdown is busy running. No time to waste! Of course when she will quitt the job, she will have a financial loss, what that man has to compensate. If he doesn't want, then she cannot go fulltime "traditional wife". But, if she is self employed and runs her own business, and maybe even from home (and that would be the perfect compromise), and therefore she has the ability to set up her schedule the way she wants, so that it will match to his schedule, than that would be possibly a scenario what could work pretty fine. If the filipina doesn't want to give up her job, even if he will pay her a monthly compensation, then she should expect that sooner or later she'll get "replaced" by an other filipina with more free time for him. Do not expect him to wait for you till the cows come home.
This describes me and what I'd be looking for when I get to the Philippines.
So you want to have your own little business? ( mostly a sarisari) but be honest, most people here dont even know the difference between turnover and profit that often means attending the sari more then 50 hours a week earning around 5000 a month, is that business?
No, and that's my main argument. If they want to "work," which entails a 40-hour-week job that brings home $100 USD, yes, I'm against that since it does not make logical sense.
I think they were confused by the question. You stated hes completely supporting her, hes just not giving extra for her extended family. I will support my wife no matter where she comes from, but her extended family is not my responsibility. Not until my extended family is being cared for by her. Unless this is going on there is a power imbalance. It emotional manipulation to expect your spouse to care for pp outside his marriage.
westerniced
I think the best point all of you made is this marital dilemma is something that should have been worked out before they married. It seems unfair of the husband to prohibit his wife from working, but also won't completely support her. He can't have it both ways.
Money and marriage goes hand in hand, the man generally unconditionally keeps all of the family members, healthy and happy. Providing the income potential that everyone feels they are contributing to the whole family effort. I helped my ex get an education, opened a business for herself, and created a career for her to be self employed, and self empowered here in the USA. It can easily be done in the Philippines, and so there isn’t an excuse not to help the Filipina, to become her best version of herself. 😅
No Money - No Honey
No Honey - Many Money 💵💲
I plan on visiting the Philippines in November and would like to ask you some questions..
Maybe I missed it but I have heard of Expats giving their Philippina like a monthly allowance for her to buy things she needs maybe feminine hygiene products, cloths things she doesn’t need to ask for basically while the Expat still paying for everything else. Is this a common practice? a bad practice? If so what would be a good amount and give a range because I know prices vary greatly for items depending on where a person is living. Thank you in advance. Oh and if money is not really a problem
I was wondering when you would all get together again. Great video and topic as always. It's of course just my opinion, but I honestly think it strengthens your friendships as you seem to have a good time together. At least to me, it looks genuine as could be. Now, I'm probably going to shock all of you. At least with the points you've made, from what I can recall. To go a little deeper, what I would not accept would be wife who worked a full-time job and a part-time job and refused to quit either one. To me, that is not a marriage but a financial roomate who happen to have a marriage certificate. If the couple can't spend time together, they can't grow together. A doomed marriage from the start. Don't get me wrong, I would want her to work, especially if she loves her work as it can give her a sense of self-fulfillment. As we say in the US... happy wife/happy life.
On a lighter topic, I appreciate your opinions on all you discussed as women. Not to criticize someone under 25, but to me, that's a girl, not a woman. A girl hasn't figured out enough about life or herseif, let alone what type of man. Many times the type she's attracted to isn't the same who she's best suited for. Leah managed to squeeze in her "wiggle" a couple times. I see things others miss Leah. So are any of you surprised an older american would actually agree with you? Let me know.
I want to commend you for what you've accomplished so far in life, especially considering where you started. I realize it was difficult, frustrating and painful for years. While you might still have more to achieve, I do believe the hardest part is behind you.
With tons of respect, Dean
FINALLY some realism on these blogs. The three of you NAILED it. Getting married means you decided to become PARTNERS. EACH part of the partnership should want their mate to be the best person they can be. Just because on person grows doesnt mean someone else must shrink. This idea that women become the property of men after they get married is 19th century thinking. Men supply very important thing to the relationship. Women supply EQUALLY important things. AS I have said many times through my life. Men build HOUSES Women build HOMES. Just like Men they want to be VALUED and appreciated for what they ARE......NOT what you wish them to be. If you want a maid with benefits then hire one. DO NOT marry someone so they will be your captive maid. If you dont wish to truly partner someone stop getting married. Asking someone else to stay SMALL so YOU can feel more secure means YOU are not good partner material. Many of the men who have the problems you present here had these same problems back in the west. They want no sass and they think "I bring home the money so I am the boss". BULLSHIT. If you want to be the leader be CAPABLE of leading and nurturing. Your money is supplying something......but not everything to a relationship. WAY back in the 1950s women desperately NEEDED a man to simply survive. And men abused that system for a LONG time before EVIL western women decided enough was enough. If you cant supply a more fulfilling relationship than simply bringing money home I dont need you. THATS what many Men in the west hate....... Women have choices. They are Not CAPTIVE. Some men go to the Philippines and go right for the provinces because they CAN make those women captive easier. Some men dont want to partner with women they want to hire them to be maids that are completely dependent on THEM. Its unrealistic and I am glad you three finally exposed it. Notice I said SOME men......not all. We dont hear enough of this in the vlogs. Kudos to you ladies. Of course there are marketing reasons people dont discuss this very openly lololol
Should have been discussed and agreed upon before any serious relationship develops. Why would you think suddenly changing the dynamics of a relationship will make for happiness? Happens all the time with women here in USA. And, suprise, divorce rate keeps climbing.
I love this topic maya lol Thank you💓
I never think of money when it comes to my wife and two baby boys. She takes what she needs and protects our family by making good decisions. She doesn't give money to her lazy family that can not even throw trash into a bag. It's like a landfill and prior attempts to help have resulted in zero changes. These women are not what any sensible man came to the Philippines for. Maybe they are nice but sound similar to the western women.
Thank you very much for this video!
Thanks for sharing! 🙏🏻⚡️🙏🏻
Thank you again Jr 💓
They make good points to be fair, but if youre not willing to support the womans child then dont date or marry a single mom.
So what is a fair monthly allowance for a wife?
My relationships have been like Burger King. "Have it your way." My income is enough for both of us and a few kids. If she wants to work, she can. If she wants to stay home, she can. I make enough to pamper her too. When you take home $4K+ a month in the Philippines, you can live pretty much how you want. The girl in the middle is perfect.
Shay nailed it. Ground rules and expectations need to be discussed and agreed to before marriage happens. You have a lot of wester men who want to escape the horror of what relationships become in the West, only to do the very thing they are running from to women in the East. Not all men, but enough that you have to make a YT video on it hahaha.
I am in a relationship with an 18 year old Filipina and we intend to get married I support her now during her education and she wants to work and contribute but until she does I will continue to support her I will not isolate her only love her I earn enough to look after her but have to respect her desires
Well said ladies.
At the end of the day its still the woman’s choice if they like to stay or not,or maybe they have their own reasons why they are still in the relationship
i think it was really well said by you all, :)
If the couple are just partners, and if the Filipina has a child or more she has responsibilities for, the man should be the one to step up, and be as helpful and supportive as he is possible, to become one with heart and purpose.
This topic is for all the filipina and foreigners or for all the foreigners that’s married to asian woman and vise versa that are in this situation🙂
Keep in mind that your culture includes jealousy. Men can be jealous as well 15:34 which may lead to controlling behavior. Husband should provide and Women should support his provision.
I mostly agree with these ladies, but they missed some nuance. A lot of guys coming over to SEA are shell-shocked after a painful and costly divorce that had little to do with them failing at the role of provider. They could make any amount of money, but the second the wife makes more, or thinks she can take 75% of the marital assets and get a better deal elsewhere because she's bored, she will not only stop fighting for the relationship, but try to make this man's life a living hell.
Men who are interested in traditional relationships do have to provide, but when the wife wants to start her own business, she is breaking the contract. We're leaving the boss babes who "Don't need no man!" at home and searching for a true partnership like our parents or grandparents had.
Being a provider is HALF the job.
In Philippines, money and support seems so front and centre in a relationship, that it becomes an arrangement.
Like Leah's ideas about relationships. Shes asking to be treated equally. Very reasonable request.
A man should be secure enough to respect a woman's choice of whether she works. I grew up with a mother who worked. This should be agreed upon before marriage.
If you marry a Filipina,you marry the whole family!
It’s a case by case decision!
I worked with a guy that had a Phillipina wife, he worked worked $$$ to keep the wife happy (usA)
A partner is a partnership. It’s a two way street, not a one way street. If a partner needs to hold the other one down to keep him/her, you will surely lose that partner. You should grow together.
You ladies represent the ideal women. Intelligent and thoughtful, feminine and strong. Not needy but wishing to be real partners in a life. Continue to be calm, feeling and insightful. You are the goal.
Speak for yourself; they are anything but ideal if you are looking for a traditional wife/marriage.
Sadly, when I was looking for my Filipina GF my search was for a single woman with no kids. If you pick a woman and you know she has kids then you should also include them in the equation. My problem wasn't the kids, it's the "single" part because a LOT of Filipinas say "single" or "separated" when they should just say married but not living together. So now I have a married woman and if we want to be with each we need to find a way for her to be truly single, and that is really a hard thing to do in your country sad to say.
CENOMAR
That's why you 100% should require a cenomar from any girl you date, since that is the official document that they are single.
last chapter of Proverbs is very clear how the woman is suppose to act
There is also clear direction on how the Husband is suppose to provide.
Shay is so smart and beautiful I love her…lol
Ugghh..."traditional" partner ? Pass. I prefer independent strong confident women.
Is Leah single?
Such an interesting topic. You covered all the aspects so well. I hope your excellent advice landed on the right ears. Thanks for sharing.
Hello ladies, as soon as you smile, you create opportunities. If a westerner wants to marry a Filipino housewife (often categorized as a province girl - a mistake IMO -), for sure he has to know that he shall provide fully for her needs and those of child(ren). Leah I am sure that some men will find you too independant, "feminist" and "westernised"; their loss, not yours. Given the number of Filipinos working as sailors or staff on cruise ships, how filipinas who married a sailor do manage the long abscences? The sailor provides, but the wife takes a larger part of the children education and house management, including all mishaps that happen. IMO it takes a strong and resilient woman, very difficult to find in the West.
Exactly
If have a baby,most foreigners would show the exit door,just let be friends haha...i got burnt 3times,no more
Guys get married to your own culture…You asked to much.Do not running for a foreigner….
In my opinion, he is not a good man. When you date someone or are married, you are also committed to her liabilities.
The monthly allowance should include children, period.
Lol you don't get what they mean by family do you we are not talking about the kid
True, but if you're dating a foreign women who is a single mom you're already the chump 😂
these 2 woman sound like why americans leave the USA,
Sounds like Maya and giờ not in to get together now.not in good terms
NO HONEY, NO MONEY
Teamwork relationships is a western concept
Well said, Shay.
Also, well said Leah.
Traditional husbands don't and have never provided for her family!
Real gold digger vibes
feminism has arrived to Fili
You are saying all women exchange sex for money.
Sad, and against God’s teachings
She feels we dont know there worth?
Thats BS
This is indiscriminate targeting. You call this terrorism.
No honey no money
Sound like he own her and she left no money - sick mentality
Greetings. Hope all is well. When a man is in a committed relationship.with a woman.he’s responsible for her children if they are minors .i believe he should provide for the family. He should allow her to work if she chose to. When I was married . I was never concerned about how much money my wife made .God blessed me to take care of the household expenses. Bottom line..HER MONEY IS ALWAYS HER MONEY .MY MONEY IS OUR MONEY. Take care ladies ,great job.
All things being equal and not knowing any additional info, he's insecure and selfish. Good discussion amongst you ladies.
To be fair it's not his job to support her whole family but her and the kid yes the rest no
Do you see what’s happening here? They are looking at a traditional relationship though a modern day lens..so the normal things a husband would provide for his wife isn’t enough anymore…this is what happens when these Filipinas get manipulated by social media and the western cultures and they love to say they different from western women when in reality their not much different
No thank you. Not for me. 💸 But thanks so much for the video. It was very informative. I feel like a fly on the wall listening to you beautiful ladies. 🪰 It’s good to know what you all expect. Totally reasonable I’m sure. But not my particular cup of tea. ☕️ Nevertheless you are all so stunningly beautiful 😍 and you’ll do fine without the likes of me. 🙂