You've spoken to my deepest desires as an autistic person - get rich, acquire chicken nuggets. Thank you so much for sharing and being open about your diagnosis. I was diagnosed a few years ago and am working to be as open and accepting of it as you are. Great video!
Got diagnosed at 24. I definitely agree with much of what you mentioned. I also emulate and start speaking like people I spend time with. My daughter changes her way depending on who she is currently watching on RUclips so maybe she has got it as well. I tend to go down rabbit holes a lot in that I get super focused on a subject and can’t stop thinking about it. It’s hard to try to sleep and I just have to look up something on my phone because I HAVE to know something I’m thinking about. Yet I didn’t do well at collage because I quickly lost interest if a subject wasn’t interesting to me. I can watch videos about things on RUclips all day long but learning stuff in school was so boring.
24:12 - Totally relate to this focus struggle! I swing from being super absorbed in something (to the point of accidentally ignoring people, oops) to getting lost in distractions when I don't know where to direct my energy. Loss of focus makes me feel lazy... I have realised It's not about being lazy; it's more like getting swamped by too many options, especially with simple stuff like tidying a desk. What seems straightforward ends up feeling like a mountain of tasks, and it's overwhelming. I have ADHD but i wouldn't change it even if i could. Its a mixed bag but I choose to love the positives of that and accept the negatives as an equal cost.
After following Dave's channel for a while I went and did an ASD test that he linked under one of his videos. Came out 95%. I think I might just be ASD in addition to ADHD and dyslexic. Which flips my self perception a lot from what is broken about me to what can I do to better manage this. At least with ADHD we have stimulant drugs which 'fix' us. With ASD and dyslexia not so much. I no longer take ritalin. I find that Buddhist mindfulness meditation helps me to control the chatter and focus better. As far as bullying I experienced a lot of it, being a strange standoffish nerd kid. Then one day I remembered that I took martial arts for a year and a half and was good at it. I had just been holding it back because our sensei told us to never use martial arts in public on regular people. Certainly Sensei Lee wouldn't object to me blocking a punch? So I spent 15 minutes after school one day making a fool out of a bully trying to punch me. I didn't punch him once. It really is true that if you capitulate to bullies they keep coming back. If you stand up to them they go bully someone else. The only enjoy intimidating people, not actually struggling for control of the situation.
Dave, great video and thanks for sharing. My son is on spectrum and received his diagnosis fairly young. You are correct that now there are great resources available to help him adjust and learn how society expects him to behave. For example, instead of parallel play he now will join in and play with other kids. He used to think kids were mean because he would stand there staring and they wouldn't invite him to play. He has now learned how to approach and join in. It isn't easy for him and it does tire him out. We have to keep an eye on him and remove him from playing while it is still a positive experience for everyone before he "tips" and does something that no one understands and makes kids mad. As he as aged the period of time he can play as increased greatly.
I took special note of your mention of ASD groups being somewhat “dark” in nature in various places online and couldn’t agree more. Your videos and book have been a much more positive influence for me, and I thank you for that. We’re around the same age too, so it helps with familiarity.
maybe it is a dark place when your not well off financially or raised in an accommodating environment. its not all rainbows. thats you tube bull shit. but sure asd is great everyone should try it. 😂
OMG, "How to win friends..." was a huge help for me. I just needed someone to give me a rule book for how to deal with people. I always felt I was absent from school the day they taught how to get along with people. My life has been an exercise in frustration trying to emulate the wrong people. I could never (and still don't) understand why some people are allowed to do certain things, and others can't get away with it and end up getting attacked for doing the same things. Being alone has been the best way to just avoid those situations. Working from home has helped, but that's not always been possible.
I was diagnosed with Autism 13 years ago at 13, it took til 26 and reading your book to more fully understand how to drive my brain. Now I'm about to turn 27 and I hope to follow in your footsteps, along with the many other ND thinkers that have shaped our world. Thank you.
Im 26 with aspergers. I also work in tech(cybersecurity) AND have 2 classic cars (69 buick and 83 lincoln)! I feel I can relate to your videos more than anyone else Ive ever seen previously. Thank you for all you do.
I am 68 and live 'in the spectrum'. I was diagnosed late in life. Have learned by observation how to act 'normal' when needed. I can appreciate your open discussion as it just re-enforces what I have learned and why I have had to learn how to cope. Thank you
I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was around 50 and my whole life suddenly fell into place. I suddenly understood why my life turned out the way it did. And although it was a nice feeling, I wish I had been diagnosed earlier so that I could have avoided many of the problems that I can easily deal with today, because I have now proven myself about how I function in relation to other people
I was informally diagnosed but like you said, my whole life fell into place. I suddenly understould myself instead of beating myself up for not fitting in. Listening to Dave it's as if he's talking about me. I'm also a software developer, difficulty relating to people and get burned out in crowds etc.
I’ve really enjoyed hearing about your experiences both before and after diagnosis. It’s been a big motivation for me to seek confirmation of what I’ve always suspected about myself and allow me to embrace my idiosyncrasies. I’m 54’this year and it’s been a life changing 9 months for me. Thanks.
Does diagnosis change anything? I mean I sort of don't need to have this diagnosis in health profile. I think I have asperger, but I don't think it affects my life too much. It's hard to estimate how much people (especially girls) like me, it's really hard to be and to communicate or play with children and i have some irrational tendency to postpone some things which are not part of a daily routine, such as buying clothes. Otherwise I'd say I'm quite successful C++ developer and I refused to manage small team once already
@@pavelperina7629 It can change things quite significantly. In my case, I had no idea I was autistic. I never even thought about it. I knew I was different, but that was all. So me getting the diagnosis was the answer to so much about myself. I had always questioned if I was broken, or something, so the diagnosis was honestly a relief - the answer to why I was different.
Your descriptions of what goes on internally in your autism has been elucidating. I worked wirn kids 4-14. Your level of communication is much higher than theirs at the time. This was in the early 60’s. I,worked with LeomKenner who coined the term Autism. Listing to you is a joy.
Thanks so much for this Dave. 48, just diagnosed, still coming to terms with how badly it's affected me and seeing the past with new eyes, not good with books, didn't like the look of the Facebook groups etc. This has been the most helpful thing for me personally as I can actually relate to it. Thanks thanks thanks.
Dave, you are a gem. I'm glad I discovered your channel for the tech but mostly for you. You are genuine, interesting, funny and entirely relatable because I experience most of what you describe. I don't have a diagnosis, but I don't need one and I don't care. Your sharing helps me understand my feelings/behaviors better and makes me feel...not 'normal' (god forbid) but less odd. Please keep the channel going my dude! I've shared it with friends who just love you also. Peace out my fellow propeller head! 😀
I just want you to know how much I appreciate you sharing. All I can say is that our stories are similar and what you say resonates and gives me a lot to think about, everyday.
I don't feel jealousy, and never have, at least as far as I am aware of. When people came up to me and bragged about stuff, I would feel "hey good for you" I really hope you enjoyed it. And I would communicate that to them. Since that was kids I think they wanted to me be jealous, since I rarely got positive feedback for such comments. I do wish I could feel it.
thank you for existing and eloquently communicating your version of reality i am not a "millionaire" programmer but i do live comfortably as an awkward existence in an otherwise busy place this spoke to me and made me cry the entire 30 minutes. i cant express enough how important it is you continue these. i have a loving wife and an otherwise wonderful place in life but i dont have words why i cant connect. i know why but it doesnt matter. there is not advantage to being delineated. these videos allow you from the comfort of wealth to communicate with a huge audience. place continue to do so. no need to speak of asd directly. just exist
I found your channel via a link to your C++ videos and then I was hooked. I know people who have been diagnosed as being on the spectrum, but had never considered that it could possibly apply to myself until I identified quite strongly with some of the behaviours and situations that you describe. Whether I am on the spectrum or not [*], thank you for being open about your own diagnosis, and for describing it in your book. And thanks for all the Dave's Garage videos: both as a cock-a-snook to your own diagnosis, and because most of them appeal to something inside me. [*] My friend found a 30+ question self-test on-line, and as a result I was "probably" on the spectrum, and when my wife answered for me in round two, she didn't hold back and I was "definitely" on the spectrum, but without a face-to-face professional diagnosis, we will never know for certain. PS. BTW, Still looking forward to Part2 of the Cicada 3301 video. Did I miss it?
I stumbled onto this channel because of the interesting computer science and history stuff, now I'm getting great tips for my career and personal life. Thanks Dave!
Thank you for sharing again! Your insights have been very beneficial. I have not heard you talk about one of the great tools I have used to mask. Looking back on my career, I have usually had a friend at work that has helped me mask. Thinks like when they tell me "you really need to go to this event (like coffee with leadership)" or have otherwise clued me in on actions that I should do to stay within the norms of social expectation.
I am scheduled for an autism test later this year and I have experienced so much of what u described! Even the pre test they gave me convinced them i had it...thanks for letting me know i'm not alone in this...
"I didn't want to be seen at the meetings, I wanted to be able to affect the outcome of the meetings" That resonated me the most! I ended up in a management position after being self taught software engineer for two decades. And I will not be able to have a better way of explaining WHY I don't code anymore.
32, Software dev, introvert here, I’m on the spectrum too, but I’m genuinely happy with it since I know why others are different. I enjoy life this way
I am not on the spectrum and don't think I know anyone who is, yet I bought the book and found it well worthwhile. I recommend it. Now, if I met someone on the spectrum, or was asked to help with something, I would know much better what to do -- and what NOT to do.
17:15 This type of extremely explicit reflection with another person is invaluable and we don't do it enough. I've only had a couple of events like that in my life, and they've been very educational. Of course none of them occurred at work. All managers I've had so far only talk about how I perform in general and I don't learn a single thing from it.
Thank you for saying 'Out-of-band communication'. That's how I've always perceived it. Like people are expecting me to get their point without stating their point.
I had an interview with Microsoft in the early 90’s. Afterwards, the recruiting lead told me that they had never had a situation like me. They said that all of the interviewers saw my potential, but I did not appear excited about the opportunity. They said that they rarely ask anyone back for a second interview, but in my case, they would make an exception. My current employer got wind of the interview, and gave me a very large raise. I passed up on Microsoft for immediate gratification! It was a bunch of money to me at the time, and I couldn’t pass it up! I have very recently taken an online Autism test and am well into the spectrum. Dave, thank you. Everything turned out just fine.
I found your channel through the algorithm suggestion as I watch almost exclusively educational content. It has proved to be mighty useful in other ways. This video included. Great interview and I'm off to buy your book.
Born in 61, and living in small town Iowa, they had no way of dealing with "the sped", or special needs kid, in the school at that time. They wanted to ship me off to a "special" school. At my Father's demanding insistence they did their best to integrate me with the rest of the community. When I passed the Iowa Basic Skills test (the SATs for grade school in Iowa) with 99% across all categories they got on board with the idea that I could be "normalized". I learned how to "fake it until you make it" quite well. Actually did radio in College to pay the bills and also learn to "sound authentic" as part of my mask. Went on to do interesting things in the computer industry in the land of VMS and was grateful that I did not get pigeon-holed into obscurity.
When I first found your channel, (because of crowdstrike) , I thought the presentation seemed a like flat, almost robotic. I realized it’s because of the way you prepare for the videos and that it looks like you are reading the text, which tends to amplify the effect. I like how you come across on this with spontaneous responses.
lol yeah i have asd as well ... i mean to say the questions are the right questions they are good questions but somepople dont ask them because they feel awkard ... my advise is if you want to engage with someone on the spectrum get use to awkward moments in general and ask awkward questions but with as much info as you can ...we are like chat gtp lol we can only work with what we are given ...
I’m not diagnosed but I’ve been considering what I have since I was in highschool. Always in special ED. I do have Dyscalculia. I wish I knew what I have. What do I do if I cannot afford to get evaluated? I’ve researched heavily now for five years and have so many similarities that I cry. I can relate to almost every single video I’ve seen when people talk about their experiences growing up. I’m very oblivious to social cues. I’ve always felt like a true alien compared to others when it comes to socializing. I’m not sure who to go to and what to do next. No job. No income. I’m a burden and need to be taken care of by my family. And I hate it. But I have no diagnosis, so I’m just labeled as worthless and lazy.
I have an object in my pocket. Usually a bottle cap. I just squeeze and scratch that thing when I walk or stand. The plastic bottle caps need replacing from time to time because they get like shredded with my fingers and fingernails. I wasn't aware it was "one of those things". Walking down the hallways I need to either follow some lines or patterns, sometimes I feel the urge to push a light switch. I wouldn't be able to stay even 2 hours in a crowded, public place. I would run away screaming. It's torture. The first time I experienced it I didn't understand what happened. I just felt unexplainable panic, then I had my very rare hallucination it started raining and I had to hide from the rain. I don't have hallucinations often, it happened like 2 times in my lifetime. Not on drugs. I also was aware something's not right. I saw rain but I wasn't wet. The rain appeared way too suddenly to be real. I knew I was hallucinating. And that was a crowded, public place. I avoid them ever since. It's weird, but I don't feel so bad at concerts. Maybe because it's usually dark when they start. As much I hate loud noises, I love super loud music at concerts.
Glad of this as I'm another autistic adult, diagnosed late. Got my assessment back in Sept through the Dept of vocational Rehab and a psychologist who specializes in assessing adults. My best buddy and my oldest sister both suspected I might be about 18 years ago and finally last year, began to suspect I may well be after some research. It's not helped that I also am a congenital Rubella baby (CRS) as well, and I have a total sight loss in my right eye, total hearing loss in my right ear, partial hearing loss in my left, and was suspected to being "retarded" back in the 60's. Yes, my mother contracted Rubella during the 4th week of the pregnancy (so first trimester) and to add to that, I have heart issues. Add to that I have a rule out for ADHD and was confirmed to have intellectual disability (formerly retardation). I'm now working on picking up the pieces that began with Covid, but in some ways, began in 2017 when the job I'd had for 10 years ran its course through no fault of my own. 3rd party contractor for Ricoh, site I was at was closing due to not renewing contract to decide to go alone again, only to consolidate at another office in another state and was not picked up there, nor at another site within Ricoh. PT work at a local 2 year college, with the hope it'll go FT/perm, FT yes, but still temporary, then Covid hit, job ends in June of '20, with the thought I would get back on that August, but that never happened, found another PT/temp job at the same school, and when it ended, that was that. So I have one long time friend that I've had for 50 years, and he was one that suspected I might be autistic. I still don't know enough about myself to know what I want to do "when I grow up", have anxiety etc. On top of all that, am gay and have never had a long term partner. Was diagnosed ASD, level 1 (high functioning). Hearing from others is good as I learn about myself and am well aware that many autistic folks likely have stereotypes about neurotypicals and I also see them often not meeting us halfway, even if we try to meet them halfway. Yes, been bullied, but also have had to be scrappy to defend myself when it comes to it, so I feel that if a woman is going to be a bully, she should get what's coming, even if a good slug to the face is what ends up happening, she deserves it as much as the guy who does the same thing. I've had to slug one classmate who tried to bully me once in band back in 6th grade, he ran off crying. Band teacher new saw it, nor realized it all had taken place. Anyway, this is all good and informative, even to a "newly" autistic man.
For the cooperation vs creativity question, at this point in my life, I might answer that cooperation is more important (even though less fun for me), but for very analytical reasons involving the average reproductive rate of a group of cooperative animals vs. the average reproductive rate of non-cooperative animals within a context that favors cooperation.
Diagnosed at 53 - very similar career / behaviour but the big benefit of diagnosis was knowing “why am I like this?”, “why can’t I be normal?”. I know now - found peace
Excellent. Thanks, Not on the spectrum myself but work with some who are, and it is nice to get an insight to those minds , some of the better technical people who I know who are, but you have to comuninicate to those in a particular way or ways. Thanks
Been following you for some time since you came up in my feed with your programming language speed tests. Thanks for being open with who you are and sharing it 👍🏻💪🏻
Yeah, I've known a few other people with ASD who've found that watching themselves is a good way to help better train themselves for social situations.
the school knew what i had in the 90s and resented me and my family ... they got spiteful and said NO hes just lazy so they bullied me so i don't bother people with my shit i just hide and i look at society as evil and misled
There are so many well meaning people out there! But yes, society tends to reward psychopathic self interest and doesn't really value honesty and fairness. Its a dog-eat-dog world, but maybe one day we will realize that our diversity is not a problem to be fixed but a challenge to becoming a more inclusive society.
As someone with ASD, I touch the wall as I walk down the hall to count the doorframes so I can think about coding instead of navigating. My door is the 7th on the right.
I thought for years I had problems telling others what my I desired or needed. In a few trips with my girlfriend and a couple we know, I was at a point where I was trying to mimic their exact formulations and intonations. In the fourth trip, for my birthday, I got pissed and I asked why we stopped where they wanted and not where i wanted and could not choose restaurants. "We never realised when you asked something it was important." the problem is not how we say it, it's that often, they can't listen to us. like they do with young childs or people with cognitive problems... It's also why they sometime talk as if we were no there...
others have tastes, we have caprice. others have interrests, we have fixations. others get aggravated, we have tantrums... who we are change perceptions.
It was 1981 the first papers were published concerning Asperger syndrome in America, the condition was first discovered by Dr Asperger himself in 1940s Austria, and I am almost positive my mother told me in about 1985 that I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome in 1971? And I have in fact been diagnosed with Asperger's in 2002. So my point is I'm wondering if autism and all its colors was floating around in the medical community long before it was medically officially acknowledged?
By the way, other than the fact that you tell us at the end of each video that you are on the spectrum, I would never have known. Love your videos. Thanks.
Thanks Dave for sharing, and now I'm almost certain that I got some form of ADD / ADHD / Autism since childhood. The similarities you describe fit very well and reaffirms my belief that I'm not just a bad student / person for my thought processes and behaviors in this regard. Getting a diagnosis and help as an adult is always more difficult then as a kid, and am still not diagnosed and probably never will be because it's not worth my time in my opinion at the moment. It would also explain why I can easily get into the flow state :).
Spot on Dave. My wife can look at a stranger and figure out their sexual orientation. For example she called out her boses kid as gay and was correct. I on the other hand am totally clueless. So my wife helps queues me in. My co-workers think I'm really smart and I'm not sure why. I think I might be to harsh on coworkers as I expect them to figure stuff out as quickly as I do.
Maybe I'm showing my true colors, but 100% creativity. People can work together to build something amazing like the pyramids, but technology doesn't advance without creative ideas and experimentation.
Really good explained, i know these moments where people are too much and you donˋt understand them, ìm diagnosed with ADHD, and for a long time my solution for these situations was let my ADHD hyperactivity flow which even feels like a mask but solved a lot and often lead me to the middle of the group, which is a bit strange. But on some point of my life it felt like i was exhaused of this driven hyperactive life and made a step back to stay more in my comfort zone which often feels strange too, but it is not exhausing, the downside is you have not so much special situations which are fun most of the time. If you read this Dave, i have a very personal but interesting question, how you are eating pizza, do you have a special pattern ?
More teachers should be trained to handle kids that are what I like to call ASD-Lite (trademark pending). I have no way to remember theory if I just study it directly, but give me something practical to do and I will remember it forever. School was not fun. Studied computer electronics engineering as the university promised that we would be learning all about firmware and OS design, programming, etc etc. it was 7 years of failing math for me because we had to regurgitate massive chunks of math theory. Programming was always a passion for me since I was 13, and now 23 years later I am a self-taught software dev. an entire degree remains unused and I couldn't be happier.
Thank you, so much for this. I bought your book and I'll get to it... eventually. Hah. You know the struggle. I did have a question, however, is it at all possible to have fixed captioning vs the auto generated captioning?
I'm probably on the spectrum, I tend to hyper fixate on subjects and sometimes to the detriment of my current work project --- Working from home doesn't help since I don't have others around to keep me on-track. I can't read fiction books too long before I completely attach to a protagonist, I easily get hero complexes, so I avoid a lot of fiction. I feel like I'm pretty well-adapted since I'm doing well in life and pass interactions with strangers fine, so a diagnosis would not benefit me, BUT I do experience a LOT of stress day-to-day, so I wonder if there are ways to cope and relax that would prolong my health and sanity. Problem is I can't get over the sense that I'm wasting my potential and I need to work/think better/harder to escape to a reality where I can truly achieve my full potential, and any diagnosis or coping would be like declawing me.
I can tell you from experience the reason some people on the spectrum "touch the wall" or even hold hand rails on stairs. I have issues with balance and dizziness, that most of my life I didn't even realize I had because I thought it was "normal". Touching the wall, hand rail, or some other form of external sensory stimulus provides the brain with another reference point to establish balance.
I subscribe for the tech, but since I'm managing someone with ASD this gives me an interesting insight into re-evaluating making sure we're all on the same frequency. Though given my group it's Likely to be Weird FM.
Very wise responses Dave. It takes a whole life to learn these lessons no matter what label you were given. I've learned a lot from you. Keep it up! I'm a pray'n 4 ya.
Dave, I’m curious on your thoughts about efforts to identify and treat/cure Autism. Many in the higher ability end of the spectrum if a ‘cure’ was found and offered them see ‘Autism’ as a part of their identity and who they are and would refuse. Yet there are some on the spectrum where the disability affects their ability to even interact with the real world and communicate verbally for whom a ‘cure’ would be miraculous. I find this question intriguing within the Autism space because of the effect of mind blindness within the Autism community and how discussion on this topic can be very polarizing. Going from a “how dare you imply there is something wrong with me that needs cured” to the parent of a child on the extreme other end of the spectrum for whom that is a battle worth fighting to make happen. This is where I realize I’ve talked to long but want to complete the post anyways. The point where this realization of the difference hit me was when I was sitting to meet a panel member for a talk on Autism I was preparing to put on at Walmart Tech. We had a manager of multiple people on spectrum and a parent of a child on the spectrum and myself who is on spectrum. When we were talking the questions about what was my personal experience with autism like got very specific and I realized the shift in the conversation but not the why. When the other person started crying in the middle of the BBQ joint we meet up at I knew something had happened but was very lost as to what. It turns out that part way through the talk he had realized that I was a proxy for many of the conversations he wished he could have with his son but couldn’t because of his non-verbal state and the reality and weight of that conversation had shifted and once he had explained that to me was the first time my mind blindness to the other extreme of the spectrum really started to sink in that simultaneously the spectrum is wide and I can’t represent the fullness of that spectrum alone.
You can't 'cure' years of development experienced in a completely different way. There's no replacing that even if you could normalize their neurological response as of today. Its more like trying to "cure" someone of their memories of the Vietnam, Iraq or Afghanistan war etc... Development is a process that can't be "done over".
@@sail4lifeI think your explanation is better than my own in that the difference between those who might have priority and wish to pursue a “cure” by way of medical research and those who would turn up their nose at such an idea would largely depend on if they have year of “development experience” or their development is stunted to negligible. I get that normalcy and typicality are not goals but that is very different and distinction from those for whom Autism stifles communication and development at such a degree that there is no such development by experience to speak of. The lighting rod that brought this issue and question back to mind was when Mark Roper did his autism fundraiser event a while back. There was push back from the Autism community because the organization he was partnered with had in the past perused medical research into the causes of autism and this was seen as “cure” pursuit. The question is not really so much focused on one side or the other being right or wrong but a balance in the validity of points from both sides. This is a complex issue to process through because personally I would reject a medical treatment for my autism but accept stimulant based regulation for my ADHD and use Tenex for my ADHD, Generalized Tick Disorder NOS, and of course blood pressure. However I’ve come to likewise accept and support that some amount of funding can and should be put towards the medical research of the sources and causes of autism. To culturally contextualize this I think of the scene from the X-Men movies where a cure for the X-gene is found. Storm who can control the weather and was a Goddess to her people in the comics announced there is nothing to cure. Rogue however who couldn’t touch another human being without killing them didn’t share her view and sought out the cure. This is a great fictionalized account of the variety of views on a topic such as this where two people can look at the same exact possibility and see totality different views based on the difference in both their development and the impact their differences have on their ability to live out their lives how they want to be able to. Maybe this helps contextualize in a way why this is a question for which I am intrigued.
@@JamesPTaggartBesides the issue of it being impossible to replace "missed" (or non typically experienced) developmental stages, I like the x-men example. It boils down to the way we define "disease". To some, Autism can be a disease in that it personally hampers them in such a way that they would seek a cure. If a person is actually suffering from or truly burdened by autism, then seeking a cure is of course legitimate. It should be a personal choice. I just wouldn't want it to be defined as a deviation from the norm that needs "curing". That sounds too much like eugenics.
@@JamesPTaggart Honestly, as a former X-men comic fan, that example was perfect. Not everyone on the spectrum would want a "cure" if one existed, but some would. I might be so called high functioning, but considering I was diagnosed late in life I have a whole other experience than someone who has grown up knowing they are autistic. Everyone's experience is different.
I'm only two minutes into this video and I've already subbed, turned on notifications! I am desperately hoping you'll tell me how to get diagnosed because as an aspiring dev with undiagnosed ASD, I'm tired of struggling at everything including achieving my dreams.
Ask your primary doc who would be qualified to give you a DETAILED assessment, which should be many, many hours of testing, at least in my experience...
Agree with Dave, I got my assessment this past fall and it did confirm what was suspected as far back as 18 years ago, I'm diagnosed as ASD level 1 (formerly Asperger's) as it's been deprecated since the DSM-V, but also since then, the ICD-11. That said, I got mine through the state and its dept of vocational rehab and they paid for a 4 hour assessment with someone that can assess adults, which is critical as we adults have been masking for a long time but unlike children, can respond to questions and such, which in some ways, makes it easier, but in others more difficult. I also have an intellectual disability which was spotted back in the 60's at 3 or so but back then, it was known as "retarded". Today I do not function to the same level as my same age peers. I was assessed at 57 and am now trying to work through all the issues and financial issues and the fallout of Covid, no job etc. Just getting that assessment will help you in ways you may not know at this time and in the end, it may make your life easier to navigate. At the very least, it'll answer some questions you may have. Good luck!
@@DavesGarage unfortunately I am starting over with a PCP. Any advice on the verbage around that detailed assessment I can ask about while looking for a new PCP?
@@johnhpalmer6098 thank you for the information! My masking is at expert level as a female, mother of twins, and as an individual with both Narcolepsy and Adhd. I just recently realized a lot of my systems are ASD and not from ADHD, and the communication issues are getting more frequent at work (Mindblindness) and I can't officially explain why. What was your assessment called that way I can hopefully find a resource to test me sooner versus later?
@@CursaTee Simply, go to your new primary care practitioner and say, I suspect Autism in myself and can you recommend a person familiar with assessing adults? That is how I broached my counselor at DVR last year and we then got it set up.
I have always had an almost dieing need to know how things work from the time I was 3 I was taking things apart, 33yrs later I'm a pass poor employee but I'm also a jack of all master of none. I design circuit boards but tend to get calls from about a dozen different departments with questions and problems looking for solutions. My job title before the company was bought out by a Fortune 500 company was "the problem solver."" I'm not good with people. I also have problems masking, and 2-4hrs at Disneyland is my limit. I tend to go on rainy days to avoid crowds. I'm not diagnosed with anything but what I'm hearing, I think testing might be a good idea. Also I find I eat maybe 3-5 different simple things and avoid change with fear almost
I was diagnose with autisme on my 24th the funny thing was that my school was in an old sanatorium with a schockroom and an isolation cell all in working condition .
This may be obvious but given the topic I'll add, Neurotypical people are not perfect at these communications. Sure they may be a fair bit better at it but there are a bunch of problems in this world caused by miscommunications amounts the Neurotypical. So I think it's not so much a black/white, have/have not but rather a spectrum is that particular symptom.
Agree 100%. At one end you have ASD who have limited skills and maybe aware of this. Then at the other end you have people who think they have great skills, have lots of confidence and don't test their judgement along the way. Humans are completely unpredictable and you really do people a disservice when you try and guess how they feel or think. My approach is to try and ask as many questions rather than make guesses. So many neurotypical people have a very limited view and need to categorise and label people and behaviours. I think we are more nuanced than that. Categories help academics but we need to be more aware of the entire spectrum of behaviour and personality, how it can change by situation and how we can grow over time.
@@vk3fbab Trouble is, body language can be more honest then answers. Ask people "How you doing" and 90% the time you get 'fine' no matter how they are feeling.
I needed to know while I was in school. I flunked out of high school but I did just fine in university. I also would have liked knowing why I was being beaten and bullied by my fellow students.
I am 66 now and I was diagnosed with ASD a few months ago. It has always been a major struggle for me all my life just to survive, including having been homeless several times. I wish I had been diagnosed when was a young kid. I think I would have had a better time throughout my life if I had been diagnosed as a kid. I do not know how to deal with this now even though I have known all my life that I am different.
I thought about the question before i had an aswer the first time i heard it; creativiy v cooperation... the question was about "to society (or the world) i decided cooperation. You can come up with all the solutions to humanity's problems but without cooperation it comes to nothing
Walking down the ball, dragging your fingers on the wall. Yeah, I do that. Never knew it was an autistic trait. I just like the feel of it. I'm not dragging my fingertips, but my nails. It's curiously satisfying.
I didn’t find out till a few yrs ago. I got bullied in school and have struggled with certain in-group expectations. Definitely limited my success. Even with my way above average IQ.
What is mostly annoying is my single-core processor (no ht) and my buggy interrupt controller. If I do something plain like picking up my phone and someone talks to me, I often totally miss that fact. I just memorize it but do not get notified often so I often coincidentially go like "wait... did he say something? ah yes...". And that is so confusing to others!
You've spoken to my deepest desires as an autistic person - get rich, acquire chicken nuggets. Thank you so much for sharing and being open about your diagnosis. I was diagnosed a few years ago and am working to be as open and accepting of it as you are. Great video!
Dave, I'm an autistic young man and I want to thank you for this
You're very welcome!
Got diagnosed at 24. I definitely agree with much of what you mentioned. I also emulate and start speaking like people I spend time with. My daughter changes her way depending on who she is currently watching on RUclips so maybe she has got it as well. I tend to go down rabbit holes a lot in that I get super focused on a subject and can’t stop thinking about it. It’s hard to try to sleep and I just have to look up something on my phone because I HAVE to know something I’m thinking about. Yet I didn’t do well at collage because I quickly lost interest if a subject wasn’t interesting to me. I can watch videos about things on RUclips all day long but learning stuff in school was so boring.
24:12 - Totally relate to this focus struggle! I swing from being super absorbed in something (to the point of accidentally ignoring people, oops) to getting lost in distractions when I don't know where to direct my energy. Loss of focus makes me feel lazy... I have realised It's not about being lazy; it's more like getting swamped by too many options, especially with simple stuff like tidying a desk. What seems straightforward ends up feeling like a mountain of tasks, and it's overwhelming. I have ADHD but i wouldn't change it even if i could. Its a mixed bag but I choose to love the positives of that and accept the negatives as an equal cost.
After following Dave's channel for a while I went and did an ASD test that he linked under one of his videos.
Came out 95%.
I think I might just be ASD in addition to ADHD and dyslexic.
Which flips my self perception a lot from what is broken about me to what can I do to better manage this.
At least with ADHD we have stimulant drugs which 'fix' us.
With ASD and dyslexia not so much.
I no longer take ritalin. I find that Buddhist mindfulness meditation helps me to control the chatter and focus better.
As far as bullying I experienced a lot of it, being a strange standoffish nerd kid.
Then one day I remembered that I took martial arts for a year and a half and was good at it.
I had just been holding it back because our sensei told us to never use martial arts in public on regular people.
Certainly Sensei Lee wouldn't object to me blocking a punch?
So I spent 15 minutes after school one day making a fool out of a bully trying to punch me. I didn't punch him once.
It really is true that if you capitulate to bullies they keep coming back. If you stand up to them they go bully someone else.
The only enjoy intimidating people, not actually struggling for control of the situation.
Dave, great video and thanks for sharing. My son is on spectrum and received his diagnosis fairly young. You are correct that now there are great resources available to help him adjust and learn how society expects him to behave. For example, instead of parallel play he now will join in and play with other kids. He used to think kids were mean because he would stand there staring and they wouldn't invite him to play. He has now learned how to approach and join in. It isn't easy for him and it does tire him out. We have to keep an eye on him and remove him from playing while it is still a positive experience for everyone before he "tips" and does something that no one understands and makes kids mad. As he as aged the period of time he can play as increased greatly.
I took special note of your mention of ASD groups being somewhat “dark” in nature in various places online and couldn’t agree more. Your videos and book have been a much more positive influence for me, and I thank you for that. We’re around the same age too, so it helps with familiarity.
maybe it is a dark place when your not well off financially or raised in an accommodating environment. its not all rainbows. thats you tube bull shit. but sure asd is great everyone should try it. 😂
Agreed. same here.
OMG, "How to win friends..." was a huge help for me. I just needed someone to give me a rule book for how to deal with people. I always felt I was absent from school the day they taught how to get along with people. My life has been an exercise in frustration trying to emulate the wrong people. I could never (and still don't) understand why some people are allowed to do certain things, and others can't get away with it and end up getting attacked for doing the same things. Being alone has been the best way to just avoid those situations. Working from home has helped, but that's not always been possible.
My thing was I didn't want friends lol
I was diagnosed with Autism 13 years ago at 13, it took til 26 and reading your book to more fully understand how to drive my brain. Now I'm about to turn 27 and I hope to follow in your footsteps, along with the many other ND thinkers that have shaped our world. Thank you.
Im 26 with aspergers. I also work in tech(cybersecurity) AND have 2 classic cars (69 buick and 83 lincoln)! I feel I can relate to your videos more than anyone else Ive ever seen previously. Thank you for all you do.
That was an excellent insight, Dave. Many thanks to you for sharing your experiences in life and to Joelle for her interviewing skills.
I am 68 and live 'in the spectrum'. I was diagnosed late in life. Have learned by observation how to act 'normal' when needed. I can appreciate your open discussion as it just re-enforces what I have learned and why I have had to learn how to cope. Thank you
I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was around 50 and my whole life suddenly fell into place. I suddenly understood why my life turned out the way it did. And although it was a nice feeling, I wish I had been diagnosed earlier so that I could have avoided many of the problems that I can easily deal with today, because I have now proven myself about how I function in relation to other people
I was informally diagnosed but like you said, my whole life fell into place. I suddenly understould myself instead of beating myself up for not fitting in. Listening to Dave it's as if he's talking about me. I'm also a software developer, difficulty relating to people and get burned out in crowds etc.
Kurt - I hope my comment doesn't come off as rude, what kinds of changes would you have made to avoid problems you mention?
I’ve really enjoyed hearing about your experiences both before and after diagnosis. It’s been a big motivation for me to seek confirmation of what I’ve always suspected about myself and allow me to embrace my idiosyncrasies. I’m 54’this year and it’s been a life changing 9 months for me. Thanks.
Does diagnosis change anything? I mean I sort of don't need to have this diagnosis in health profile. I think I have asperger, but I don't think it affects my life too much. It's hard to estimate how much people (especially girls) like me, it's really hard to be and to communicate or play with children and i have some irrational tendency to postpone some things which are not part of a daily routine, such as buying clothes. Otherwise I'd say I'm quite successful C++ developer and I refused to manage small team once already
@@pavelperina7629
It can change things quite significantly. In my case, I had no idea I was autistic. I never even thought about it. I knew I was different, but that was all. So me getting the diagnosis was the answer to so much about myself. I had always questioned if I was broken, or something, so the diagnosis was honestly a relief - the answer to why I was different.
Your descriptions of what goes on internally in your autism has been elucidating. I worked wirn kids 4-14. Your level of communication is much higher than theirs at the time. This was in the early 60’s. I,worked with LeomKenner who coined the term Autism. Listing to you is a joy.
Thanks so much for this Dave. 48, just diagnosed, still coming to terms with how badly it's affected me and seeing the past with new eyes, not good with books, didn't like the look of the Facebook groups etc. This has been the most helpful thing for me personally as I can actually relate to it. Thanks thanks thanks.
Dave, you are a gem. I'm glad I discovered your channel for the tech but mostly for you. You are genuine, interesting, funny and entirely relatable because I experience most of what you describe.
I don't have a diagnosis, but I don't need one and I don't care. Your sharing helps me understand my feelings/behaviors better and makes me feel...not 'normal' (god forbid) but less odd.
Please keep the channel going my dude! I've shared it with friends who just love you also.
Peace out my fellow propeller head! 😀
I just want you to know how much I appreciate you sharing. All I can say is that our stories are similar and what you say resonates and gives me a lot to think about, everyday.
I don't feel jealousy, and never have, at least as far as I am aware of. When people came up to me and bragged about stuff, I would feel "hey good for you" I really hope you enjoyed it. And I would communicate that to them. Since that was kids I think they wanted to me be jealous, since I rarely got positive feedback for such comments.
I do wish I could feel it.
Funny you should say that, its exactly the same with me. Except I've seen what jealousy can do, I'll give it a hard pass!
thank you for existing and eloquently communicating your version of reality
i am not a "millionaire" programmer but i do live comfortably as an awkward existence in an otherwise busy place
this spoke to me and made me cry the entire 30 minutes. i cant express enough how important it is you continue these.
i have a loving wife and an otherwise wonderful place in life but i dont have words why i cant connect. i know why but it doesnt matter. there is not advantage to being delineated. these videos allow you from the comfort of wealth to communicate with a huge audience. place continue to do so. no need to speak of asd directly. just exist
Thank you for opening up and your explanations.
My pleasure!
I found your channel via a link to your C++ videos and then I was hooked. I know people who have been diagnosed as being on the spectrum, but had never considered that it could possibly apply to myself until I identified quite strongly with some of the behaviours and situations that you describe. Whether I am on the spectrum or not [*], thank you for being open about your own diagnosis, and for describing it in your book. And thanks for all the Dave's Garage videos: both as a cock-a-snook to your own diagnosis, and because most of them appeal to something inside me.
[*] My friend found a 30+ question self-test on-line, and as a result I was "probably" on the spectrum, and when my wife answered for me in round two, she didn't hold back and I was "definitely" on the spectrum, but without a face-to-face professional diagnosis, we will never know for certain.
PS. BTW, Still looking forward to Part2 of the Cicada 3301 video. Did I miss it?
Dave, you give me a sense to live, even I have Asperger autism. You give me new hope with my asperger autism. Sorry for my bad english!
Dave you are truly inspirational. I admire your courage for taking on life challenges in such a positive way.
I stumbled onto this channel because of the interesting computer science and history stuff, now I'm getting great tips for my career and personal life. Thanks Dave!
I think i could listen to Dave explain things all day, he's is such a great communicator.
Thank you for sharing again! Your insights have been very beneficial.
I have not heard you talk about one of the great tools I have used to mask. Looking back on my career, I have usually had a friend at work that has helped me mask. Thinks like when they tell me "you really need to go to this event (like coffee with leadership)" or have otherwise clued me in on actions that I should do to stay within the norms of social expectation.
Bless you Dave. Thanks for making these things clear, and not always a negative condition.
Thanks for the discussion on this subject. It's opened my mind, to things concerning myself & my family. Thank you. :)
I am scheduled for an autism test later this year and I have experienced so much of what u described! Even the pre test they gave me convinced them i had it...thanks for letting me know i'm not alone in this...
No risk, No reward Please continue to open up your figurative heart wide Learn as much as possible, Thank You .
Congratulations to the interviewer for this wonderful Interview and the interesting questions you asked. ☺️
It's Joelle Seal of CBC News, and I think she did awesome as well. Really well thought out questions, etc!
Touching the wall while you're walking down a hall. I've been doing that forever and didn't really realize most people do that before today!
"I didn't want to be seen at the meetings, I wanted to be able to affect the outcome of the meetings"
That resonated me the most! I ended up in a management position after being self taught software engineer for two decades. And I will not be able to have a better way of explaining WHY I don't code anymore.
32, Software dev, introvert here, I’m on the spectrum too, but I’m genuinely happy with it since I know why others are different. I enjoy life this way
I am not on the spectrum and don't think I know anyone who is, yet I bought the book and found it well worthwhile. I recommend it. Now, if I met someone on the spectrum, or was asked to help with something, I would know much better what to do -- and what NOT to do.
17:15 This type of extremely explicit reflection with another person is invaluable and we don't do it enough. I've only had a couple of events like that in my life, and they've been very educational. Of course none of them occurred at work. All managers I've had so far only talk about how I perform in general and I don't learn a single thing from it.
Thanks Dave for sharing your insights. You have a wonderful outlook. There are so many strengths that others don't see in autism.
I am so blessed to not be neurotypical. I sense my environment differenly and that allows me to do things others cannot do. It's a gift in my case.
Thank you for saying 'Out-of-band communication'. That's how I've always perceived it. Like people are expecting me to get their point without stating their point.
I had an interview with Microsoft in the early 90’s. Afterwards, the recruiting lead told me that they had never had a situation like me. They said that all of the interviewers saw my potential, but I did not appear excited about the opportunity. They said that they rarely ask anyone back for a second interview, but in my case, they would make an exception. My current employer got wind of the interview, and gave me a very large raise. I passed up on Microsoft for immediate gratification! It was a bunch of money to me at the time, and I couldn’t pass it up! I have very recently taken an online Autism test and am well into the spectrum. Dave, thank you. Everything turned out just fine.
I found your channel through the algorithm suggestion as I watch almost exclusively educational content. It has proved to be mighty useful in other ways. This video included.
Great interview and I'm off to buy your book.
Awesome, thank you!
Born in 61, and living in small town Iowa, they had no way of dealing with "the sped", or special needs kid, in the school at that time. They wanted to ship me off to a "special" school. At my Father's demanding insistence they did their best to integrate me with the rest of the community. When I passed the Iowa Basic Skills test (the SATs for grade school in Iowa) with 99% across all categories they got on board with the idea that I could be "normalized".
I learned how to "fake it until you make it" quite well.
Actually did radio in College to pay the bills and also learn to "sound authentic" as part of my mask.
Went on to do interesting things in the computer industry in the land of VMS and was grateful that I did not get pigeon-holed into obscurity.
Crying my heart out. Love from asperger Sweden.
Dang, your life story weirdly mirrors my own.... I should have myself checked out. Thank you for sharing my good sir!
When I first found your channel, (because of crowdstrike) , I thought the presentation seemed a like flat, almost robotic. I realized it’s because of the way you prepare for the videos and that it looks like you are reading the text, which tends to amplify the effect. I like how you come across on this with spontaneous responses.
its good that she doesent know anything the dumb questions are verry informative .. i am glad the both of you are so open .. great video
lol yeah i have asd as well ... i mean to say the questions are the right questions they are good questions but somepople dont ask them because they feel awkard ... my advise is if you want to engage with someone on the spectrum get use to awkward moments in general and ask awkward questions but with as much info as you can ...we are like chat gtp lol we can only work with what we are given ...
Thanks @Dave’s Garage!
Dave... wow, are you be introspective and objective. I wish we could all be so open while still 'in the game' and not comfortably retired.
incidentally... the orange, blue, red and green in the background are the same colors as the windows logo... but in the wrong order... :)
I’m not diagnosed but I’ve been considering what I have since I was in highschool.
Always in special ED.
I do have Dyscalculia.
I wish I knew what I have.
What do I do if I cannot afford to get evaluated?
I’ve researched heavily now for five years and have so many similarities that I cry.
I can relate to almost every single video I’ve seen when people talk about their experiences growing up.
I’m very oblivious to social cues. I’ve always felt like a true alien compared to others when it comes to socializing.
I’m not sure who to go to and what to do next. No job. No income. I’m a burden and need to be taken care of by my family. And I hate it. But I have no diagnosis, so I’m just labeled as worthless and lazy.
I really appreciate you sharing this.
Excellent interview.
I have an object in my pocket. Usually a bottle cap. I just squeeze and scratch that thing when I walk or stand. The plastic bottle caps need replacing from time to time because they get like shredded with my fingers and fingernails. I wasn't aware it was "one of those things". Walking down the hallways I need to either follow some lines or patterns, sometimes I feel the urge to push a light switch. I wouldn't be able to stay even 2 hours in a crowded, public place. I would run away screaming. It's torture. The first time I experienced it I didn't understand what happened. I just felt unexplainable panic, then I had my very rare hallucination it started raining and I had to hide from the rain. I don't have hallucinations often, it happened like 2 times in my lifetime. Not on drugs. I also was aware something's not right. I saw rain but I wasn't wet. The rain appeared way too suddenly to be real. I knew I was hallucinating. And that was a crowded, public place. I avoid them ever since. It's weird, but I don't feel so bad at concerts. Maybe because it's usually dark when they start. As much I hate loud noises, I love super loud music at concerts.
Glad of this as I'm another autistic adult, diagnosed late. Got my assessment back in Sept through the Dept of vocational Rehab and a psychologist who specializes in assessing adults. My best buddy and my oldest sister both suspected I might be about 18 years ago and finally last year, began to suspect I may well be after some research.
It's not helped that I also am a congenital Rubella baby (CRS) as well, and I have a total sight loss in my right eye, total hearing loss in my right ear, partial hearing loss in my left, and was suspected to being "retarded" back in the 60's. Yes, my mother contracted Rubella during the 4th week of the pregnancy (so first trimester) and to add to that, I have heart issues. Add to that I have a rule out for ADHD and was confirmed to have intellectual disability (formerly retardation).
I'm now working on picking up the pieces that began with Covid, but in some ways, began in 2017 when the job I'd had for 10 years ran its course through no fault of my own. 3rd party contractor for Ricoh, site I was at was closing due to not renewing contract to decide to go alone again, only to consolidate at another office in another state and was not picked up there, nor at another site within Ricoh. PT work at a local 2 year college, with the hope it'll go FT/perm, FT yes, but still temporary, then Covid hit, job ends in June of '20, with the thought I would get back on that August, but that never happened, found another PT/temp job at the same school, and when it ended, that was that.
So I have one long time friend that I've had for 50 years, and he was one that suspected I might be autistic. I still don't know enough about myself to know what I want to do "when I grow up", have anxiety etc.
On top of all that, am gay and have never had a long term partner. Was diagnosed ASD, level 1 (high functioning). Hearing from others is good as I learn about myself and am well aware that many autistic folks likely have stereotypes about neurotypicals and I also see them often not meeting us halfway, even if we try to meet them halfway.
Yes, been bullied, but also have had to be scrappy to defend myself when it comes to it, so I feel that if a woman is going to be a bully, she should get what's coming, even if a good slug to the face is what ends up happening, she deserves it as much as the guy who does the same thing. I've had to slug one classmate who tried to bully me once in band back in 6th grade, he ran off crying. Band teacher new saw it, nor realized it all had taken place.
Anyway, this is all good and informative, even to a "newly" autistic man.
For the cooperation vs creativity question, at this point in my life, I might answer that cooperation is more important (even though less fun for me), but for very analytical reasons involving the average reproductive rate of a group of cooperative animals vs. the average reproductive rate of non-cooperative animals within a context that favors cooperation.
Diagnosed at 53 - very similar career / behaviour but the big benefit of diagnosis was knowing “why am I like this?”, “why can’t I be normal?”. I know now - found peace
Excellent. Thanks, Not on the spectrum myself but work with some who are, and it is nice to get an insight to those minds , some of the better technical people who I know who are, but you have to comuninicate to those in a particular way or ways. Thanks
Been following you for some time since you came up in my feed with your programming language speed tests. Thanks for being open with who you are and sharing it 👍🏻💪🏻
I love your work
Also have ASD. Nice to see more of your sweet side here Dave!
Yeah, I've known a few other people with ASD who've found that watching themselves is a good way to help better train themselves for social situations.
the school knew what i had in the 90s and resented me and my family ... they got spiteful and said NO hes just lazy so they bullied me so i don't bother people with my shit i just hide and i look at society as evil and misled
There are so many well meaning people out there! But yes, society tends to reward psychopathic self interest and doesn't really value honesty and fairness. Its a dog-eat-dog world, but maybe one day we will realize that our diversity is not a problem to be fixed but a challenge to becoming a more inclusive society.
As someone with ASD, I touch the wall as I walk down the hall to count the doorframes so I can think about coding instead of navigating. My door is the 7th on the right.
Nice Job Dave, gonna follow you....
Really great interview.
I thought for years I had problems telling others what my I desired or needed. In a few trips with my girlfriend and a couple we know, I was at a point where I was trying to mimic their exact formulations and intonations.
In the fourth trip, for my birthday, I got pissed and I asked why we stopped where they wanted and not where i wanted and could not choose restaurants.
"We never realised when you asked something it was important."
the problem is not how we say it, it's that often, they can't listen to us. like they do with young childs or people with cognitive problems... It's also why they sometime talk as if we were no there...
others have tastes, we have caprice. others have interrests, we have fixations. others get aggravated, we have tantrums...
who we are change perceptions.
@@emmanuelbeaucage4461 People learn to treat you the way you let them treat you.
It was 1981 the first papers were published concerning Asperger syndrome in America, the condition was first discovered by Dr Asperger himself in 1940s Austria, and I am almost positive my mother told me in about 1985 that I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome in 1971? And I have in fact been diagnosed with Asperger's in 2002. So my point is I'm wondering if autism and all its colors was floating around in the medical community long before it was medically officially acknowledged?
As an ASD parent it's very interesting! Thanks!
By the way, other than the fact that you tell us at the end of each video that you are on the spectrum, I would never have known. Love your videos. Thanks.
The watching yourself bit is interesting Dave, i get called out on it all the time
That **Windows 2000* shirt is awesome Dave! 👍
Thanks Dave for sharing, and now I'm almost certain that I got some form of ADD / ADHD / Autism since childhood. The similarities you describe fit very well and reaffirms my belief that I'm not just a bad student / person for my thought processes and behaviors in this regard.
Getting a diagnosis and help as an adult is always more difficult then as a kid, and am still not diagnosed and probably never will be because it's not worth my time in my opinion at the moment.
It would also explain why I can easily get into the flow state :).
Self diagnosis is valid, and you can also find some self tests online if you need more reassurance.
Spot on Dave. My wife can look at a stranger and figure out their sexual orientation. For example she called out her boses kid as gay and was correct. I on the other hand am totally clueless. So my wife helps queues me in. My co-workers think I'm really smart and I'm not sure why. I think I might be to harsh on coworkers as I expect them to figure stuff out as quickly as I do.
Many gays, actually have a "gaydar", it is nice when the play with words, matches the reality that conveniently.
Maybe I'm showing my true colors, but 100% creativity. People can work together to build something amazing like the pyramids, but technology doesn't advance without creative ideas and experimentation.
This is an interesting look into the way someone with ASD experiences day-to-day experiences :)
Really good explained, i know these moments where people are too much and you donˋt understand them, ìm diagnosed with ADHD, and for a long time my solution for these situations was let my ADHD hyperactivity flow which even feels like a mask but solved a lot and often lead me to the middle of the group, which is a bit strange. But on some point of my life it felt like i was exhaused of this driven hyperactive life and made a step back to stay more in my comfort zone which often feels strange too, but it is not exhausing, the downside is you have not so much special situations which are fun most of the time.
If you read this Dave, i have a very personal but interesting question, how you are eating pizza, do you have a special pattern ?
More teachers should be trained to handle kids that are what I like to call ASD-Lite (trademark pending). I have no way to remember theory if I just study it directly, but give me something practical to do and I will remember it forever. School was not fun.
Studied computer electronics engineering as the university promised that we would be learning all about firmware and OS design, programming, etc etc.
it was 7 years of failing math for me because we had to regurgitate massive chunks of math theory. Programming was always a passion for me since I was 13, and now 23 years later I am a self-taught software dev. an entire degree remains unused and I couldn't be happier.
This is very interesting and I see myself doing a lot of things.
Thank you, so much for this. I bought your book and I'll get to it... eventually. Hah. You know the struggle. I did have a question, however, is it at all possible to have fixed captioning vs the auto generated captioning?
If you upload the script text, you can do fixed, but for a live interview the auto stuff is a nice option
I'm probably on the spectrum, I tend to hyper fixate on subjects and sometimes to the detriment of my current work project --- Working from home doesn't help since I don't have others around to keep me on-track. I can't read fiction books too long before I completely attach to a protagonist, I easily get hero complexes, so I avoid a lot of fiction. I feel like I'm pretty well-adapted since I'm doing well in life and pass interactions with strangers fine, so a diagnosis would not benefit me, BUT I do experience a LOT of stress day-to-day, so I wonder if there are ways to cope and relax that would prolong my health and sanity. Problem is I can't get over the sense that I'm wasting my potential and I need to work/think better/harder to escape to a reality where I can truly achieve my full potential, and any diagnosis or coping would be like declawing me.
I can tell you from experience the reason some people on the spectrum "touch the wall" or even hold hand rails on stairs. I have issues with balance and dizziness, that most of my life I didn't even realize I had because I thought it was "normal". Touching the wall, hand rail, or some other form of external sensory stimulus provides the brain with another reference point to establish balance.
I subscribe for the tech, but since I'm managing someone with ASD this gives me an interesting insight into re-evaluating making sure we're all on the same frequency.
Though given my group it's Likely to be Weird FM.
Facebook seems to be like that in general. I ran away from that place.
Very wise responses Dave. It takes a whole life to learn these lessons no matter what label you were given. I've learned a lot from you. Keep it up! I'm a pray'n 4 ya.
Dave, I’m curious on your thoughts about efforts to identify and treat/cure Autism. Many in the higher ability end of the spectrum if a ‘cure’ was found and offered them see ‘Autism’ as a part of their identity and who they are and would refuse. Yet there are some on the spectrum where the disability affects their ability to even interact with the real world and communicate verbally for whom a ‘cure’ would be miraculous.
I find this question intriguing within the Autism space because of the effect of mind blindness within the Autism community and how discussion on this topic can be very polarizing. Going from a “how dare you imply there is something wrong with me that needs cured” to the parent of a child on the extreme other end of the spectrum for whom that is a battle worth fighting to make happen.
This is where I realize I’ve talked to long but want to complete the post anyways.
The point where this realization of the difference hit me was when I was sitting to meet a panel member for a talk on Autism I was preparing to put on at Walmart Tech. We had a manager of multiple people on spectrum and a parent of a child on the spectrum and myself who is on spectrum. When we were talking the questions about what was my personal experience with autism like got very specific and I realized the shift in the conversation but not the why. When the other person started crying in the middle of the BBQ joint we meet up at I knew something had happened but was very lost as to what. It turns out that part way through the talk he had realized that I was a proxy for many of the conversations he wished he could have with his son but couldn’t because of his non-verbal state and the reality and weight of that conversation had shifted and once he had explained that to me was the first time my mind blindness to the other extreme of the spectrum really started to sink in that simultaneously the spectrum is wide and I can’t represent the fullness of that spectrum alone.
You can't 'cure' years of development experienced in a completely different way. There's no replacing that even if you could normalize their neurological response as of today. Its more like trying to "cure" someone of their memories of the Vietnam, Iraq or Afghanistan war etc... Development is a process that can't be "done over".
@@sail4lifeI think your explanation is better than my own in that the difference between those who might have priority and wish to pursue a “cure” by way of medical research and those who would turn up their nose at such an idea would largely depend on if they have year of “development experience” or their development is stunted to negligible.
I get that normalcy and typicality are not goals but that is very different and distinction from those for whom Autism stifles communication and development at such a degree that there is no such development by experience to speak of.
The lighting rod that brought this issue and question back to mind was when Mark Roper did his autism fundraiser event a while back. There was push back from the Autism community because the organization he was partnered with had in the past perused medical research into the causes of autism and this was seen as “cure” pursuit.
The question is not really so much focused on one side or the other being right or wrong but a balance in the validity of points from both sides. This is a complex issue to process through because personally I would reject a medical treatment for my autism but accept stimulant based regulation for my ADHD and use Tenex for my ADHD, Generalized Tick Disorder NOS, and of course blood pressure. However I’ve come to likewise accept and support that some amount of funding can and should be put towards the medical research of the sources and causes of autism.
To culturally contextualize this I think of the scene from the X-Men movies where a cure for the X-gene is found. Storm who can control the weather and was a Goddess to her people in the comics announced there is nothing to cure. Rogue however who couldn’t touch another human being without killing them didn’t share her view and sought out the cure. This is a great fictionalized account of the variety of views on a topic such as this where two people can look at the same exact possibility and see totality different views based on the difference in both their development and the impact their differences have on their ability to live out their lives how they want to be able to.
Maybe this helps contextualize in a way why this is a question for which I am intrigued.
@@JamesPTaggartBesides the issue of it being impossible to replace "missed" (or non typically experienced) developmental stages, I like the x-men example. It boils down to the way we define "disease". To some, Autism can be a disease in that it personally hampers them in such a way that they would seek a cure. If a person is actually suffering from or truly burdened by autism, then seeking a cure is of course legitimate. It should be a personal choice. I just wouldn't want it to be defined as a deviation from the norm that needs "curing". That sounds too much like eugenics.
@@JamesPTaggart
Honestly, as a former X-men comic fan, that example was perfect. Not everyone on the spectrum would want a "cure" if one existed, but some would. I might be so called high functioning, but considering I was diagnosed late in life I have a whole other experience than someone who has grown up knowing they are autistic. Everyone's experience is different.
I'm only two minutes into this video and I've already subbed, turned on notifications! I am desperately hoping you'll tell me how to get diagnosed because as an aspiring dev with undiagnosed ASD, I'm tired of struggling at everything including achieving my dreams.
Ask your primary doc who would be qualified to give you a DETAILED assessment, which should be many, many hours of testing, at least in my experience...
Agree with Dave, I got my assessment this past fall and it did confirm what was suspected as far back as 18 years ago, I'm diagnosed as ASD level 1 (formerly Asperger's) as it's been deprecated since the DSM-V, but also since then, the ICD-11. That said, I got mine through the state and its dept of vocational rehab and they paid for a 4 hour assessment with someone that can assess adults, which is critical as we adults have been masking for a long time but unlike children, can respond to questions and such, which in some ways, makes it easier, but in others more difficult.
I also have an intellectual disability which was spotted back in the 60's at 3 or so but back then, it was known as "retarded". Today I do not function to the same level as my same age peers. I was assessed at 57 and am now trying to work through all the issues and financial issues and the fallout of Covid, no job etc.
Just getting that assessment will help you in ways you may not know at this time and in the end, it may make your life easier to navigate. At the very least, it'll answer some questions you may have.
Good luck!
@@DavesGarage unfortunately I am starting over with a PCP. Any advice on the verbage around that detailed assessment I can ask about while looking for a new PCP?
@@johnhpalmer6098 thank you for the information! My masking is at expert level as a female, mother of twins, and as an individual with both Narcolepsy and Adhd. I just recently realized a lot of my systems are ASD and not from ADHD, and the communication issues are getting more frequent at work (Mindblindness) and I can't officially explain why. What was your assessment called that way I can hopefully find a resource to test me sooner versus later?
@@CursaTee Simply, go to your new primary care practitioner and say, I suspect Autism in myself and can you recommend a person familiar with assessing adults? That is how I broached my counselor at DVR last year and we then got it set up.
I have always had an almost dieing need to know how things work from the time I was 3 I was taking things apart, 33yrs later I'm a pass poor employee but I'm also a jack of all master of none. I design circuit boards but tend to get calls from about a dozen different departments with questions and problems looking for solutions. My job title before the company was bought out by a Fortune 500 company was "the problem solver."" I'm not good with people. I also have problems masking, and 2-4hrs at Disneyland is my limit. I tend to go on rainy days to avoid crowds. I'm not diagnosed with anything but what I'm hearing, I think testing might be a good idea.
Also I find I eat maybe 3-5 different simple things and avoid change with fear almost
I was diagnose with autisme on my 24th the funny thing was that my school was in an old sanatorium with a schockroom and an isolation cell all in working condition .
Thanks for all your content Dave. Mind to tell what is your main Camera Lens? The clear focus and bokeh is astonishing.
This feels like such a checklist for me. Kinda scary really
This may be obvious but given the topic I'll add, Neurotypical people are not perfect at these communications. Sure they may be a fair bit better at it but there are a bunch of problems in this world caused by miscommunications amounts the Neurotypical. So I think it's not so much a black/white, have/have not but rather a spectrum is that particular symptom.
Agree 100%. At one end you have ASD who have limited skills and maybe aware of this. Then at the other end you have people who think they have great skills, have lots of confidence and don't test their judgement along the way. Humans are completely unpredictable and you really do people a disservice when you try and guess how they feel or think. My approach is to try and ask as many questions rather than make guesses. So many neurotypical people have a very limited view and need to categorise and label people and behaviours. I think we are more nuanced than that. Categories help academics but we need to be more aware of the entire spectrum of behaviour and personality, how it can change by situation and how we can grow over time.
@@vk3fbab Trouble is, body language can be more honest then answers.
Ask people "How you doing" and 90% the time you get 'fine' no matter how they are feeling.
Love the shirt!
🙏🏽 this is awesome as im also autistic
Hi Dave, any plans to do a audiobook version for those of us that are dyslexic as well as having ADHD 🤞
I needed to know while I was in school. I flunked out of high school but I did just fine in university. I also would have liked knowing why I was being beaten and bullied by my fellow students.
I am 66 now and I was diagnosed with ASD a few months ago. It has always been a major struggle for me all my life just to survive, including having been homeless several times. I wish I had been diagnosed when was a young kid. I think I would have had a better time throughout my life if I had been diagnosed as a kid. I do not know how to deal with this now even though I have known all my life that I am different.
I thought about the question before i had an aswer the first time i heard it; creativiy v cooperation... the question was about "to society (or the world) i decided cooperation. You can come up with all the solutions to humanity's problems but without cooperation it comes to nothing
Mmm I want chicken nuggets now 😅
Walking down the ball, dragging your fingers on the wall. Yeah, I do that. Never knew it was an autistic trait. I just like the feel of it. I'm not dragging my fingertips, but my nails. It's curiously satisfying.
I didn’t find out till a few yrs ago. I got bullied in school and have struggled with certain in-group expectations. Definitely limited my success. Even with my way above average IQ.
What is mostly annoying is my single-core processor (no ht) and my buggy interrupt controller. If I do something plain like picking up my phone and someone talks to me, I often totally miss that fact. I just memorize it but do not get notified often so I often coincidentially go like "wait... did he say something? ah yes...". And that is so confusing to others!