All I can say is “good luck” with that one! It will never happen. We all have our own values and need to move on from these highly confused people. Away, AWAY.
I am sure they will find someone to test and to abuse , this is what narcs for, this is their life and they will do it to the last day. They had us too, by perfectly playing their game wearing mask of good person. They will never have us again, they would never had us in the first place, if their performance was not so believable , they are pros in cunning and manipulating. We went through the hell and we survived ! Thank you Joe , waiting for 20K 🤗❤
"To nurish their broken broken soul, you have to give up your soul and fall into a dark place." That's very deep and so very true, Joe. You always leave us with so much wisdom & important meanings in your videos. Very good video.😌Thank you, Joe💙
My few attempts at putting my foot down only ever made it worse. All it did was give my ex a reason to put his hands on me. He hit me so hard from behind that he literally knocked the air out of me, he put his hand around my throat pinning me against the wall as he proceeded to hit me in the face. He even told his unit that we were swingers just because he didn’t want them thinking badly about him when they saw him with other women. I was completely dependent upon him and that’s the way he wanted it. It took me being so desperate to escape that I thought my only escape was to cheat on him and I was deeply angry wanting revenge which is how I wound up in my present marriage. I just simply didn’t care how it made me look at the time being. I was fighting for me and for my life. He threatened to take my life after I kicked him out. I just never put enough thought into my own actions and what it would look like.
My life is worse since the discard. I don’t have the power to self love. I’m stuck. I’m ruminating. I imagine her laughing having fun meeting new people. Whilst I sit in my car at the end of a street waiting for a hoover. The pain is real
Don't wait for the hoover! It's not what you think it is in your head... How long were you with them? You can get through it... Sounds like it's recent... I was with her for 6 years and have a 4 year old together... Trust me it could be worse.. keep your head up... Heal on your own time... You have value... You have a life to live!! Whatever you don't like about yourself fix it... Or try to... Someone that will actually show you true love will come along! Someone that appreciates and reciprocates what you have to offer.... Try to watch a new TV show or new hobby... If you keep watching videos like this after you already know the woman you were dealing with and understand what you need... STOP WATCHING THESE KIND OF VIDEOS.. clear search and watch history... It's only delaying the recovery I promise...
I hope it's gotten better for you. And that you have MOVED ON. I'm not a pro at this, but it is clear that it's your trauma bond that's causing you this pain. I'm struggling too, but we MUST allow ourselves to understand that they never loved US. We were a transaction to them. To provide them the supply they need. This is TWILIGHT ZONE stuff that we stepped into. Be well!
I was at where you are. I'll spare you my story and details, however I did few things that I think may have saved my life if not accelerated my healing. First, I went to the gym every damn day. She went and Partied, I told myself I was going to look like a god damn avenger by the end of this divorce. I didn't quite make that goal but I keep hitting my fitness goals and damn it helps with the stress. Yoga. Learn about the concept of surrender. It truly helped me. I made new friends, I kept my circle tight and i confided in close friends. I grew up in cities and some would say is a blunt asshole. I am incredibly empathetic but honest to a fault and blunt. Point being, she set traps to bread crumb me or hoover me back instuctually I told her in polite terms to go fly a kite. the further away I got from this person the better my life got. My career took off, health issues I had suddenly disappeared, I even got a new girlfriend who has gone through everything I have. We got engaged recently. I know it looks bad. it took me months of no sleep to get my shit together. You got this.I still feel a bit of guilt because my boys are caught in the middle.
Today is 37 days no contact, after him telling me that we need a break because he felt attacked by me. He also said that I was treating him like garbage, meanwhile I was speaking up telling him that I was hurt by some actions and inactions from him. He said all I did was complain. Meanwhile this was the first relationship that I had in over 11 years. I put so much love into our friendship and relationship. I went over and beyond to show him how much I cared about him. I don't even see how someone could give more than I did. I would do anything he asked to make him happy. Little by little he started to devalue me and I was so confused and in shock. Meanwhile he was telling me how amazing I was, nothing made sense. He refused to have a conversation about my concerns but instead said I was complaining and treating him like garbage 🤯 I've never been so hurt in my life and the hole in my heart and every day I'm thinking about everything still. I was such a happy person before we met and now I'm just trying to get through each day. I've put my life on hold because I feel stuck. Just a horrible situation all together. One day at a time for me now 💔
I remember being betrayed by the wife. Our kids and me were devalued and discarded. She did so many vindictive and hateful things to us. I finally reached the point where I had healed. The grieving was necessary but I now think what a waste of time and energy on someone that hated us.
Hey lalunar, It's been 3 months since you posted this but I went through something similar this last year and had some encouragement. You fell in love with an idea, an ideal, that's what the narc sold you. It can feel like losing the narcissists is losing the chance to ever be loved in that way again. That's not true. It's ok to grieve and mourn the loss of that ideal, but the narcissist was never able to bring it to life. However, now that you understand how deep and real those feelings can be, you can find someone healthy to give that to as best you're able, and there are good faith people out there. I'm one of them. I can feel your pain and understand completely what it was like to go through that, but I'm also hopeful that you'll eventually see the silver linings and at some point you might even be grateful for the experience. Let your emotions come out, it's a process, and it's ok to feel so deeply. It's not the end of anything, just a new beginning minus the abuse you suffered, and that can be a beautiful thing.
@@eminemstrash2021 Thank you so very much for the encouragement. Just such an unfortunate situation...I knew this person from highschool, and the amount of humiliation I feel now knowing I was targeted. Everything he did looking back appears staged. There is a lot that I won't talk about. Dark and sadistic and the cruelest of cruel. He knew I had tough beginnings, he knew I suffered abuse in the past and was single working on myself for many years and he told me he was also on a healing journey. It was long distance and difficult to detect everything. Just so disgusted
There is someone out there who will love you exactly like you deserve want and need. They are waiting for you. Never give up. Your future is so much greater and happier than what’s in front of you right now. You did nothing wrong. Let your heart heal. And keep being you. Don’t be afraid to find the love that’s waiting for you.
I wish him luck. He's now in his 50's & very stuck in his ways. His level of intolerance for everyone and everything has only gotten worse over the yesrs.
True, Jo, free from all this confusing process of the narcissistic behavior. The new supply became his caregiver , servant, taxi driver, and mommy. She starting spend less and less time with him. When I was with the narcissist he gave me many gifts and after the discard he hovered me for years. The new supply didn't receive any gifts from the narcissist. He had a different mask for her. The narcissist fell asleep in death by himself alone.
Do is not sad that they will be look for you in other ppl after all devaluation stage.. after they threw you under the bus 🚌 they realised in time that you are not replaced... It's never ending pattern some of them even don't understand.. it's mechanisms what just running in their fantasy world.. it's just sad..
7 месяцев назад+1
Joe, what if you leave all social media? and they have no way of knowing?
Because of my codependency issues with my narcissistic ex-wife when we finally divorced I went into a panic when she started dating. I didn't see it coming because when we were divorced I was fine with it and adjusting well into my own place. I didn't find out until after I started counseling that I was trauma bonded to her. I would constantly have these grandiose visions of her being swept off of her feet by someone else and riding off into the sunset. Then I finally realized after about a year of counseling that THAT WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN HAHA! Her relationships don't last more than a few months before they catch on when her mask slips. She also has an extensive criminal past which I'm sure some of them are smart enough to run background checks and find these things. She is aging rapidly because of tanning beds, prescription drugs, and alcohol abuse. Typical narcissistic behavior at its finest. The horrible things she put my daughter and I through are catching up to her. Karma is a bitch!
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over expecting different results-he has clearly demonstrated this to me during D.A.R.V.O.. I did a reverse discard and he will never be blessed with engaging in any sort of relationship bc all he offered is a relationshit. Done-what a loser.
My ex put in a domestic abuse complaint against when it was her that refused to leave my home 15 times like she owned me and it! ! And keeps saying I threaten her, never threatened a woman never will. She makes me out to be a person. I abhor!
They will look for you in another person but will never find you! Yessss!!!!!!
They still marry the other person though...
@@darthvader78441 yrp I was with mine 17yr 4 kidd and they marry another dude less than 2yr
All I can say is “good luck” with that one! It will never happen. We all have our own values and need to move on from these highly confused people. Away, AWAY.
I fell for it for way too long
I am sure they will find someone to test and to abuse , this is what narcs for, this is their life and they will do it to the last day. They had us too, by perfectly playing their game wearing mask of good person. They will never have us again, they would never had us in the first place, if their performance was not so believable , they are pros in cunning and manipulating. We went through the hell and we survived ! Thank you Joe , waiting for 20K 🤗❤
Never find another me 😂
So much truth in your video's! I've been free for 4 yrs & I've never looked back! Lesson learned!
Congratulations!
I’ve been free for 15 years and I feel as free as a bird.. there’s life after the narc…
"To nurish their broken broken soul, you have to give up your soul and fall into a dark place." That's very deep and so very true, Joe. You always leave us with so much wisdom & important meanings in your videos. Very good video.😌Thank you, Joe💙
I’m irreplaceable and I won’t take him back never..ever.
They may immatate but never duplicate
This is an actual thing they do? I thought I was going clinically insane! They’re the nutters!
Put up with their shit anymore.....love that
My few attempts at putting my foot down only ever made it worse. All it did was give my ex a reason to put his hands on me. He hit me so hard from behind that he literally knocked the air out of me, he put his hand around my throat pinning me against the wall as he proceeded to hit me in the face. He even told his unit that we were swingers just because he didn’t want them thinking badly about him when they saw him with other women. I was completely dependent upon him and that’s the way he wanted it. It took me being so desperate to escape that I thought my only escape was to cheat on him and I was deeply angry wanting revenge which is how I wound up in my present marriage. I just simply didn’t care how it made me look at the time being. I was fighting for me and for my life. He threatened to take my life after I kicked him out. I just never put enough thought into my own actions and what it would look like.
I listen every day over and over thank you soooo much
I have to do the same thing ❤
Me too
My life is worse since the discard. I don’t have the power to self love. I’m stuck. I’m ruminating. I imagine her laughing having fun meeting new people. Whilst I sit in my car at the end of a street waiting for a hoover. The pain is real
Don't wait for the hoover! It's not what you think it is in your head... How long were you with them? You can get through it... Sounds like it's recent... I was with her for 6 years and have a 4 year old together... Trust me it could be worse.. keep your head up... Heal on your own time... You have value... You have a life to live!! Whatever you don't like about yourself fix it... Or try to... Someone that will actually show you true love will come along! Someone that appreciates and reciprocates what you have to offer.... Try to watch a new TV show or new hobby... If you keep watching videos like this after you already know the woman you were dealing with and understand what you need... STOP WATCHING THESE KIND OF VIDEOS.. clear search and watch history... It's only delaying the recovery I promise...
I hope it's gotten better for you. And that you have MOVED ON.
I'm not a pro at this, but it is clear that it's your trauma bond that's causing you this pain.
I'm struggling too, but we MUST allow ourselves to understand that they never loved US. We were a transaction to them. To provide them the supply they need. This is TWILIGHT ZONE stuff that we stepped into.
Be well!
I was at where you are. I'll spare you my story and details, however I did few things that I think may have saved my life if not accelerated my healing. First, I went to the gym every damn day. She went and Partied, I told myself I was going to look like a god damn avenger by the end of this divorce. I didn't quite make that goal but I keep hitting my fitness goals and damn it helps with the stress. Yoga. Learn about the concept of surrender. It truly helped me. I made new friends, I kept my circle tight and i confided in close friends. I grew up in cities and some would say is a blunt asshole. I am incredibly empathetic but honest to a fault and blunt. Point being, she set traps to bread crumb me or hoover me back instuctually I told her in polite terms to go fly a kite. the further away I got from this person the better my life got. My career took off, health issues I had suddenly disappeared, I even got a new girlfriend who has gone through everything I have. We got engaged recently. I know it looks bad. it took me months of no sleep to get my shit together. You got this.I still feel a bit of guilt because my boys are caught in the middle.
Today is 37 days no contact, after him telling me that we need a break because he felt attacked by me. He also said that I was treating him like garbage, meanwhile I was speaking up telling him that I was hurt by some actions and inactions from him. He said all I did was complain. Meanwhile this was the first relationship that I had in over 11 years. I put so much love into our friendship and relationship. I went over and beyond to show him how much I cared about him. I don't even see how someone could give more than I did. I would do anything he asked to make him happy. Little by little he started to devalue me and I was so confused and in shock. Meanwhile he was telling me how amazing I was, nothing made sense. He refused to have a conversation about my concerns but instead said I was complaining and treating him like garbage 🤯
I've never been so hurt in my life and the hole in my heart and every day I'm thinking about everything still. I was such a happy person before we met and now I'm just trying to get through each day. I've put my life on hold because I feel stuck. Just a horrible situation all together. One day at a time for me now 💔
I remember being betrayed by the wife. Our kids and me were devalued and discarded. She did so many vindictive and hateful things to us. I finally reached the point where I had healed. The grieving was necessary but I now think what a waste of time and energy on someone that hated us.
I used to make lists of the good and bad times, in the end there were more bad than good.
Hey lalunar,
It's been 3 months since you posted this but I went through something similar this last year and had some encouragement.
You fell in love with an idea, an ideal, that's what the narc sold you. It can feel like losing the narcissists is losing the chance to ever be loved in that way again.
That's not true.
It's ok to grieve and mourn the loss of that ideal, but the narcissist was never able to bring it to life. However, now that you understand how deep and real those feelings can be, you can find someone healthy to give that to as best you're able, and there are good faith people out there. I'm one of them. I can feel your pain and understand completely what it was like to go through that, but I'm also hopeful that you'll eventually see the silver linings and at some point you might even be grateful for the experience. Let your emotions come out, it's a process, and it's ok to feel so deeply. It's not the end of anything, just a new beginning minus the abuse you suffered, and that can be a beautiful thing.
@@eminemstrash2021
Thank you so very much for the encouragement. Just such an unfortunate situation...I knew this person from highschool, and the amount of humiliation I feel now knowing I was targeted. Everything he did looking back appears staged. There is a lot that I won't talk about. Dark and sadistic and the cruelest of cruel. He knew I had tough beginnings, he knew I suffered abuse in the past and was single working on myself for many years and he told me he was also on a healing journey. It was long distance and difficult to detect everything. Just so disgusted
There is someone out there who will love you exactly like you deserve want and need. They are waiting for you. Never give up. Your future is so much greater and happier than what’s in front of you right now. You did nothing wrong. Let your heart heal. And keep being you. Don’t be afraid to find the love that’s waiting for you.
He never considered himself married, started cheating a month after he married me.
These birds are ridiculous. All we can do is pray
Thank you Joe.. 4 painting a Picture 4 us.. 🙂.. Hindsight..
Thank you so much for your videos. They are helping me heal so, so much. ❤❤❤
Me too....I listen everyday
@@debbiecarmona1930Same here, my friend! Stay strong 😊❤
I wish him luck. He's now in his 50's & very stuck in his ways. His level of intolerance for everyone and everything has only gotten worse over the yesrs.
Thank you, Joe!! 😊❤
Narcissist can’t change you. They just change how you feel about them.
They change how you feel about yourself.
@@stormyweather9570 yeah for a minute but you know who you are-and who they’re not.
Thank you for your videos
8 months and I walked away 3 times. Now I am done🎉
True, Jo, free from all this confusing process of the narcissistic behavior. The new supply became his caregiver , servant, taxi driver, and mommy. She starting spend less and less time with him. When I was with the narcissist he gave me many gifts and after the discard he hovered me for years. The new supply didn't receive any gifts from the narcissist. He had a different mask for her. The narcissist fell asleep in death by himself alone.
I was waiting to hear your perspective on this bout to tap in now 💯💯💯
Do is not sad that they will be look for you in other ppl after all devaluation stage.. after they threw you under the bus 🚌 they realised in time that you are not replaced... It's never ending pattern some of them even don't understand.. it's mechanisms what just running in their fantasy world.. it's just sad..
Joe, what if you leave all social media? and they have no way of knowing?
Because of my codependency issues with my narcissistic ex-wife when we finally divorced I went into a panic when she started dating. I didn't see it coming because when we were divorced I was fine with it and adjusting well into my own place. I didn't find out until after I started counseling that I was trauma bonded to her. I would constantly have these grandiose visions of her being swept off of her feet by someone else and riding off into the sunset. Then I finally realized after about a year of counseling that THAT WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN HAHA! Her relationships don't last more than a few months before they catch on when her mask slips. She also has an extensive criminal past which I'm sure some of them are smart enough to run background checks and find these things. She is aging rapidly because of tanning beds, prescription drugs, and alcohol abuse. Typical narcissistic behavior at its finest. The horrible things she put my daughter and I through are catching up to her. Karma is a bitch!
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over expecting different results-he has clearly demonstrated this to me during D.A.R.V.O.. I did a reverse discard and he will never be blessed with engaging in any sort of relationship bc all he offered is a relationshit. Done-what a loser.
My ex put in a domestic abuse complaint against when it was her that refused to leave my home 15 times like she owned me and it! ! And keeps saying I threaten her, never threatened a woman never will. She makes me out to be a person. I abhor!
Ty 🕊️✨💪🙏💪🪽🫶
I don't think my ex is looking for me in anyone else because I was too hard for him to manipulate and use and I did not chase him and he hated that!
🙏🧡