Doubting as a Mormon Missionary and in Early Marriage: Dallin Seely of @TheDashleys | Ep. 1729

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  • Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024

Комментарии • 377

  • @drewj829
    @drewj829 Год назад +125

    I served with Dallin in the great Ohio, 2009 to 2011. Had a similar experience. Great interview !

  • @EdgeH20Mark
    @EdgeH20Mark Год назад +314

    As a non-Mormon, what’s so weird to me is that you can share your issues with one Bishop and think you’re going to hell and then you meet with another Bishop and it’s like “no big deal.” Who would trust this process?

    • @JulieSnowstudiojuliesnow3698
      @JulieSnowstudiojuliesnow3698 Год назад +34

      You are absolutely right. Any outsider looking in should definitely see this as nonsensical. And it is!!! The problem is, if you are born into this way of thinking, it becomes very normalized, because you are taught from the beginning that leaders of God have the magical "power of discernment" over their particular stewardship, and they are entitled to revelation from God about you and your worthiness. So even though the truth of it is that it is leadership roulette, which totally goes against something else they teach which is that God's laws are unchanging, you are completely comfortable with trusting in what your specific leader has to say specifically about you. You feel like that's the word of God coming through them. It's messed up!

    • @Mizzlenum
      @Mizzlenum Год назад +16

      Right but unfortunately too many of us have lived many years of our lives like that.

    • @crisR2386
      @crisR2386 Год назад +10

      Right????? Blows my mind🤯

    • @Zelph_undying
      @Zelph_undying Год назад +18

      Oh! It's crazy, when I was a teenager we had 2-3 solid bishops in a row and the youth program was growing and vibrant, but then a new bishop completely killed off an entire generation of youth participation in the congregation with his die-hard rhetoric and unforgiving stances. I honestly don't know if they ever recovered from it.

    • @amygreen758
      @amygreen758 Год назад +17

      We actually have a name for this-- it's called "bishop roulette".

  • @PhoenixGoddess4444
    @PhoenixGoddess4444 Год назад +201

    I follow the Dashley’s and have for quite a while. I was low key hoping they’d discover the truth about Mormonism and when they got brave enough to share little nuggets that backed up my hopes for them. I was ecstatic when they confirmed and am very excited to listen to them on Mormon Stories!! 💜💜💜 Welcome to the bright side! 💜💜

    • @PhoenixGoddess4444
      @PhoenixGoddess4444 Год назад +5

      I’ll be in Disneyland while you’re podcasting but I will be listening soon!

  • @kerstinklenovsky239
    @kerstinklenovsky239 Год назад +109

    You nailed it.
    This podcast is there to help people realize that they are not alone and not crazy. ❤️

    • @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt
      @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Год назад

      All this podcast did was teach people to blame others for their problems.

    • @sarahsteely1938
      @sarahsteely1938 Год назад +1

      @@LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt get outta here 😂

    • @CarolynMatyjanka
      @CarolynMatyjanka Год назад +2

      ​@LUCA CAMPBELL praying you will one day open yourself to the Truth that sets you free! 🫶

    • @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt
      @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Год назад

      @@CarolynMatyjanka Why? Am I in a cage? Who put me in there, did you? Let me guess you have key right? or know the guy who does, am I warm? Oldest sales trick on the planet, create a need and then offer the solution. You are not free, you are just blind and in a different cage. Let me help you see a little. Ever watched a Hillsong/Michael W Smith - song? All those young people with their hands up in the air like aerials looking for a signal, using words like "desperate" "draw me close" etc. etc. I say for starters that most really don't believe they "have Jesus" and they are still looking for him. Then there is the sad song where they call the sinners up to the mercy seat and who follows the sinners (i.e. those who don't know Jesus)? All the backslid Christians who need Jesus again, and again and again. Like I said before, you are not free, just blind. I will leave you here. "Let them alone; they are blind guides. And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit" NIV Matt 15:14. Do not partronise me with your lies.

  • @marcellacruser951
    @marcellacruser951 Год назад +102

    I just completely lost my sht when Dallin said they baptized him on the day of his dad's funeral. I do not understand how a group of people could be THAT insensitive, but it makes me want to scream. WTAF is wrong with these people? He's watching them bury his dad and they're telling him he's now responsible for his own sin? It's the ultimate in manipulation.

    • @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt
      @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Год назад +2

      You can't understand it because you live with fear, you reek of it. His father died, they celebrated his life and they celebrated the new life of his son. "Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." John 3:3 - Marcella Cruser you cannot "see" this.

    • @TheDashleys
      @TheDashleys Год назад +39

      It was definitely a lot for me haha but I think we just wanted to do it when everybody was in town so they could all see my baptism too. But looking back now I would have waited and just had my baptism later.

    • @ragenbostrom8075
      @ragenbostrom8075 Год назад +10

      I've noticed that baptism after an 8th birthday cannot possibly be scheduled 2 weeks after that birthday. It has to be hurried. Why on earth didn't an adult step in and say NO - the baptism should NOT be the same day they bury his father.

    • @hayalistanbul5418
      @hayalistanbul5418 Год назад +5

      ​@@LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt You are funny 😂

    • @bananadogs5
      @bananadogs5 Год назад

      I’m Jewish, a SECULAR Jew. I think what Mormons do to their children is child abuse…ie the baptism at his dads funeral⁉️ omg.

  • @sophieparmley1294
    @sophieparmley1294 Год назад +92

    Dallin was one of my EFY company counselors and I remember Ashley was another counselor at our session, almost ten years ago!! It's fascinating how our relationships with the church are so different now (I left as well a couple years ago). Looking forward to this series!

  • @Uso.faithful
    @Uso.faithful Год назад +66

    Thank you Dallin for sharing your story. I think everyone leaving the church are trying to find their own “true north” for themselves and for their family’s. This is encouraging.

  • @lollymac2259
    @lollymac2259 Год назад +44

    Truly enjoyed this. I hope Ashley might come and share her story at some point. They’re both such interesting and thoughtful people so I’d love to see them interviewed together.

  • @Mizzlenum
    @Mizzlenum Год назад +76

    This was probably one of the most interesting episodes of mormon stories. I loved it.

  • @allikirby4503
    @allikirby4503 Год назад +39

    The honesty in his healing journey at becoming a parent is breath taking... Mormons and people in general r told u should love and enjoy every minute of parenting but reality is its the hardest most important role you will ever fill.

  • @christschild7288
    @christschild7288 Год назад +16

    You started thinking for yourself and stop letting the Church think for you!

  • @lizzieb19450
    @lizzieb19450 5 месяцев назад +7

    My birthday is June 20th I couldn’t imagine losing my dad on my 8th birthday. U are just a strong courageous man! Thank u for sharing ur story!! ❤

  • @mikelangley3919
    @mikelangley3919 Год назад +30

    Great show John and Dallin. Dallin thanks for your honesty. I could totally relate to almost everything you said. It boggles your mind to think that there are probably hundreds or thousands of us who have traveled the same journey you went on when growing up in the church. Thanks for taking the time to come on Mormon Stories to share your life. I will be following you and your family on your RUclips channel.

  • @jackieaudus9829
    @jackieaudus9829 Год назад +16

    Gotta be my number one Mormon Stories!!! Been following The Dashleys since Just after James arrived and initially stayed when I found out you guys were LDS even though I’m ex-mo, and started noticing little signs here and there, and was So excited you left!! John and Margi have kept me on the straight and narrow after leaving Mormonism, it seems to keep drawing me back… so glad I found support on the outside.

    • @nadineevans5195
      @nadineevans5195 9 месяцев назад

      I used to follow the dashlys but became disillusioned with how terribly materialistic and wasteful they seem to have become. Maybe it's just American culture in general, idk.

  • @kaitlyn7695
    @kaitlyn7695 Год назад +21

    I have followed the Dashleys since their first year on RUclips. They were my first experience with Mormons. I knew nothing about the religion but found them fascinating. Ashley and I are very similar and I could tell we were both new moms on our own islands. You both have grown so much. Thank you for helping me not be so lonely in our beginning parent years.

  • @Ilikepopcorn.
    @Ilikepopcorn. Год назад +35

    Whew.... this one was a doozie for me. My dad was a JS fanatic and church artifact collector. He was like Indiana Jones to me. He used his collection at firesides and Sunday school. He was not the average read-from-the-manual teacher and was never boring. My admission to no longer believing was gut punching for the both of us. He passed away a year and a half ago from stage IV cancer. Losing a parent is so hard, especially when you are young.

  • @judym.2124
    @judym.2124 Год назад +19

    Thank you Dallin for being so open and honest about your faith journey so far. May God bless you and your whole family as you continue toward him. I have followed your beautiful family on You Tube and love you all. You have helped me see the need for humility and loss of control as a Catechist in Catechesis of the Good Shepherd (a Catholic program for children). I love all the Mormon families I know in person and on You Tube. Every Mormon I know is such a good person. And yet I see clearly now that the techniques they use are cruel and not correct. I believe in God and I believe we humans have the capacity to mess up passing on our faith. I pray that you find a channel to God through another faith. Your love for God is clear and I am sorry things were so horribly muddled for you through Mormon teachings. Trust that God has a plan for you. I will keep you and your whole family in my prayers.🙏💕🙏💕🙏

  • @lindsaymessegee5099
    @lindsaymessegee5099 Год назад +24

    The worthiness issue has been massive for me. After leaving an abusive marriage I had a lot of issues and had to do many bishop counsels and was put on probation and disfellowshipped eventually. I also was given the miracle of forgiveness book to read, bleh. Fast forward to today with a foot out the door I won't be letting anyone other than me determine my worth. I'm a woman but related so much to Dallin. Thank you ❤️

    • @Vetionarian
      @Vetionarian Год назад

      You were disfellowshipped just for leaving your marriage? that's messed up and I had no idea that kind of thing still happened in the church.

    • @elizabethkoobs1060
      @elizabethkoobs1060 Год назад +1

      Lindsay, I hope you are doing ok. I was also in an abusive marriage.🙏❤️

    • @nicolewade160
      @nicolewade160 5 месяцев назад

      👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽yes to U!!!! Good job not letting anyone make u feel any less

  • @bradleysouthard7131
    @bradleysouthard7131 6 месяцев назад +8

    Fun fact, I was in the MTC at the same time as Dallin! In fact, I was there for that talk from Jeffrey R Holland! It was my last week in the MTC. I’m going through some similar struggles that Dallin went through, and I’m in a spot where I’ve got one foot in the church and one foot out and I’m not sure which direction I’m headed. This interview has been both comforting and revealing and I’ve been a long time fan of the Dashleys, so I’m glad to be able to hear what their journey has been like (oddly enough, all around the same time frame, too…)

    • @nicolewade160
      @nicolewade160 5 месяцев назад +1

      Good luck on your truth journey!! Pray you find peace

  • @paulie1532
    @paulie1532 Год назад +19

    I had no idea the church had stopped selling miracle of forgiveness. Kimball was sick.

    • @Zhaliberty
      @Zhaliberty Год назад +4

      They're all sick. They were taught and trained that way. They almost can't help it.

    • @nicolewade160
      @nicolewade160 5 месяцев назад +1

      He’s probably a HUGE pervert too!! 🥴🤢🤮

  • @jewelbrown7037
    @jewelbrown7037 Год назад +44

    Wow...all these stories brought to light. It gives me hope that things will improve. I'm just divorced and in a faith crisis aline in Alaska. Small community and lots of Mormons. Fear loosing my support system. I don't know what to do or who to trust.

    • @juliebrandt197
      @juliebrandt197 Год назад +12

      I'm sorry, that sounds so hard. Leaving Mormonism is entering a whole new world, though. We don't need to let the still-Mormons hold us back. I lost my whole support network when I left, and then I realized they hadn't offered genuine support anyway.

    • @kirielbranson4843
      @kirielbranson4843 Год назад +5

      Hopefully some can offer you some links to support groups and maybe you can reach out online for some help and people to just talk to. And then maybe you can find people in your area from these groups.
      Do some google searches on where you are in your beliefs and your area. Like, "no longer believe Mormon, yourcityname state" or "questioning Mormon" or "husband still in Mormon church."
      I am not Mormon. I grew up Catholic so I don't know of any groups. Good luck.

    • @paulamacdonald7070
      @paulamacdonald7070 Год назад +6

      Stay strong, you are worth it.

    • @crystalchristensen7972
      @crystalchristensen7972 Год назад +7

      As a single mom, leaving my ex and my faith while being pregnant with baby#5 during COVID... Whew. It's a tough go. I hold space for your valid fears. Find out what resources they have for women and children in your area and make some friends in that direction if you think that would be helpful to get a support system. Hugs.

    • @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt
      @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Год назад +2

      This IS NOT light, this is hate in the guise of light. Don't worry, "For we walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7. If you want to know truth, you will be lead, be patient.

  • @kremmiz1
    @kremmiz1 Год назад +19

    I’ve been watching the Dashley’s since before Bebe George. I don’t know how I found them, but I’ve just always found them endearing and lovable.
    I knew that you all were in a faith transition for a while, so I was super intrigued to watch this. My husband and I did not grow up LDS but another religion, and have heaps of religious trauma that we’ve spent many years working through. So while the religion may be different, the revelations and experiences are so bizarrely similar. Dallin, my husbands dad left the family when he was about your age so although again, totally different situation/details, they way in which you dealt with things as a teen-young adult is so very familiar.
    Thank you for being so open. I know this isn’t easy or comfortable. You and Ashley are absolutely NOT people to make waves, but this is such an important conversation. Thank you for telling your story. ❤️❤️
    I’d love to hear from Skylar, but I have a feeling things might be a bit raw (says the rando on the interwebs- but seriously).

    • @margenn3889
      @margenn3889 Год назад

      I love their channel. I've think they show a very realistic side of life.

  • @hopegervais1407
    @hopegervais1407 3 месяца назад +4

    I appreciate the podcast interviewer saying "work ... outside the home". Work happens, inside and outside the home, paid and unpaid. 😊

  • @michellestone2517
    @michellestone2517 Год назад +17

    I follow the Dashleys, for a long time I didn’t realize they were Morman. Maybe that’s how they ended up on my feed.
    Like many people obsessed with murder mysteries, I’m obsessed with cults and religion. I watch documentaries and listen to many podcasts Funny thing is I don’t think I ever believed, I was brought up Catholic and that was too big of a stretch for me. So I’m fascinated in what people believe and why.
    Dalin I just love your family and I hope you guys are really happy. Loved your interview.

  • @sharonyoung8251
    @sharonyoung8251 Год назад +10

    I’m glad to hear that Mormans are realizing it’s not he truth. As a Christian, Jesus follower, I’ve always wondered why Mormans need another set of rules when the Bible has the answers.

    • @DarthCaedus7
      @DarthCaedus7 Год назад

      Right? Although the Bible’s answers are sometimes conflicting. If I want to abort some kids, should I drown them, dash their heads on rocks, or feed them to bears? The Bible says all three are good, which is the best?

  • @sunnya8
    @sunnya8 Год назад +13

    I love Dallin & Ashley’s channel. It was nice to hear more about their journey here. And Dallin’s range of emotions was so welcomed (I knew he was funny from the vlogs but it’s nice to see the other sides).

  • @cindihunter9119
    @cindihunter9119 Год назад +34

    Yes! I remember when I took out my endowments, and "I was told at that time that, I was to covenant to my husband as he obeyed the Lord!" The sad part of this situation was that my husband knew what was going on and held it against me all through the marriage! He would tell me "that he was to rule over me in every way with every decision no matter what!" This caused him to be abusive in nature.. he always thought he knew what was best for me, and had no problem telling me so.. So basically I wasn't allowed to choose anything and if I did, it was basically my fault if it didn't turn out correctly! A horrible experience for sure! Yet the Mormon church does not speak of these things, won't own it, or apologize! This used to anger me quite a lot! It was then many years later that I learned they didn't know what the hell they were talking about! These teachings caused unsurmountable harm to me and my family! And still, The LDS church doesn't give a rat's tail about what happened!

    • @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt
      @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Год назад +2

      Who chose your husband, the church or you?

    • @cindihunter9119
      @cindihunter9119 Год назад +7

      @@LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt IMen did! Correct! Yet, I did not know anything about how the church worked... I'm a convert so, I just didn't know. I now am realizing the mistake I made- Men aren't supposed to rule over women, and make them do everything they want, I'd ask for help from my leaders and they told me to go home, and make a nice dinner...

    • @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt
      @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Год назад +1

      “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22 Bible KJV). This isn't a Mormon doctrine. If anything the LDS faith has confirmed this "Christian belief" in the temple ceremony. This channel always trashes Spencer W Kimball (I doubt if they have even read the "Miracle of Forgiveness"). In the book SWK slams men who are like your ex-husband and narcissists in general. I haven't read the book in about 30 years but I do remember a story he tells of a man who was complaining to him about his wife not cleaning the house and doing all the chores. SWK rips the guy apart and tells him and the reader that they should be helping. You are going to find these type of people in all faiths. Men are free to choose how to interpret Ephesians or the LDS temple ceremony and how to treat people in general. This channel has a habit of blaming the LDS faith for inherited beliefs from Christianity. Most ex-Mormons especially the presenters are clueless with what other Christians believe and they have not spent enough time (studied) with other Christians to know if they are hearing Christianity or a unique Mormon belief. In a lot of cases their problem is with Christianity not with Mormonism.

    • @marcellacruser951
      @marcellacruser951 Год назад +5

      @@LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Nice use of a forked tongue... we see you.

    • @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt
      @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Год назад +1

      @@marcellacruser951 There are many more things to say to you, but you just can't bear it right now.

  • @Relaxjack310
    @Relaxjack310 Год назад +8

    Coming from another high demand religion, I find my self feeling like u know exactly how the orthodox would respond to some of the things they hear from us, “the apostates. “ when Dallon said he chose Ashley instead of the girl God indicated, I could hear that orthodox person responding… seeeee you chose you instead of God, married Ashley and left the church, now you’re lost. Seeee you should have listened to God. Lol all high demand work the same 😆

    • @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt
      @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Год назад

      This isn't Mormonism as is most of the rubbish that came out of his mouth, here is what Spencer W Kimball said on this: “Soul mates' are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price.”

  • @armysapper12b
    @armysapper12b 9 месяцев назад +5

    Using his deceased father is such a horrific psychological and emotional manipulation tactic. I had that happen to me a few years ago when my stepfather passed away. I’ve not participated in the Mormon faith in many years and my stepfather was a very active member. I had the bishop (I went to high school with him) approach me a few days before the funeral and said that my dad came to him and wanted me to be active again. I asked was this before he passed or after, he said it was either that night before or sometime around then. I lost it and not in a kind way, because he had said some disconcerting things to my mother the day before, pretty much he was disappointed that she hadn’t attended church in the last year. Almost as if it was so much of a spiritual burden on my dad that he made it sound like it was one the main reasons for his death. I told him not only was he not to speak at my dad’s funeral, but I didn’t want him around at any point of the ceremony or graveside.

  • @ascender14
    @ascender14 Год назад +7

    I come from a fundamentalist evangelical background. I have slowly progressed, over decades, to be much less uptight about my faith and to be very comfortable with nuance and uncertainty. I have learned so much from these interviews, and they are changing my life for the better. I have to laugh now, because in my earlier days, my biggest beef with the Mormon church was the lack of belief in my trinitarian God. The funny part is that Mormonism and fundamentalist evangelicalism are quite similar in many ways. Of all of these interviews that I have watched, this is the one I most identify with. Keep up the great work.

  • @sallyellis19
    @sallyellis19 Год назад +11

    Dallin, you seem like a bright, funny, thoroughly charming human. I'm listening to you talk and I'm thinking what an insufferable a****** you must have been as a TBM. 🤣 Thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story and giving me hope that other TBM's like you can one day break free and also become critical thinking, charming, wonderful people.

    • @sallyellis19
      @sallyellis19 Год назад +4

      Also, I say that as someone who also had their own issues with scrupulosity. I'm glad we've both freed ourselves from that shame filled prison. ❤️

  • @weeza8739
    @weeza8739 Год назад +33

    I had the same experience Ashley did when going through the temple! I felt like a part of myself died - my independence as a woman and my direct relationship with God.

    • @Misdamas
      @Misdamas 8 месяцев назад

      It’s amazing that women surrounded themselves around Jesus and His love for all equally. He was constantly accusing the righteous of their hypocrisy and self righteousness.

  • @danlauravitkavage1782
    @danlauravitkavage1782 Год назад +12

    Dallin, I haven’t finished listening yet, but your courage and transparency is to be commended. I’ve followed the Dashley’s since the beginning and always wondered about your family’s faith experiences. You and Ashley are probably the first vloggers I started listening to regularly. I’m so glad you made the decision to share your story here. Thank you.

    • @TheDashleys
      @TheDashleys Год назад +3

      This means so much thank you!

  • @realmms
    @realmms Год назад +8

    Turning off ones brain to make things make sense only works for so long

  • @RampidWarthogStudios
    @RampidWarthogStudios Год назад +10

    I really appreciated this. My wife has struggled with the church all her life. I felt like I was letting everyone down the more I dated her and multiple family members had “come to Jesus talks” with me and I know they talked behind my back (long story) which was soooo painful to hear. Since then things are better and they all love her. But those scars are still there. My family is amazing but yeah… that really me just question the church… the culture at least.

  • @mary-annz.reynolds7778
    @mary-annz.reynolds7778 Год назад +9

    Thank you so much, Dallin, for sharing your story. I love your videos. This episode was so helpful. I'm glad you decided to do this. I would really like to hear Ashley's story and a woman's point of view.

  • @wendyweatherbee9796
    @wendyweatherbee9796 Год назад +9

    Thank you Dallin for sharing. I have watched The Dashleys for years and love your family. You are so brave for sharing your story and it's so important!

  • @Greatbiggrandma
    @Greatbiggrandma Год назад +11

    Family motto at our house-- Don’t Should on Yourself!!

  • @peters6874
    @peters6874 Год назад +9

    this is crazy for me because i was there in columbus ohio when elder bednar was there. everything he is saying elder bednar said is absolutley true.

  • @amandahendrix8533
    @amandahendrix8533 Год назад +6

    Felt a panic attack coming on when you were talking about your weeks long experience as a kid being made to feel unworthy, shamed, embarrassed, with no known end to it 😢 I will think about that for a long time

  • @sunnydaymakeup
    @sunnydaymakeup Год назад +5

    I love that his apostle voice is essentially a Trump voice 😅

  • @kollettebowman5247
    @kollettebowman5247 Год назад +9

    I've watched the dashleys since before James was born and honestly kind of thought you guys might have been changing your thoughts on the Mormons and watching this made me so happy

  • @leahannewoods6170
    @leahannewoods6170 Год назад +9

    That’s a good description of how it feels to take mushrooms. I can imagine it’s more extreme for an ex Mormon to go through the separation of self and blending in with oneness aspect!

  • @charlesmendeley9823
    @charlesmendeley9823 Год назад +12

    ChatGPT prompt: "Write an essay from the perspective of a person who left the LDS church after reading the CES letter, giving arguments for doing so."

    • @charlesmendeley9823
      @charlesmendeley9823 Год назад +1

      Write an essay from the perspective of a person who left the LDS church, giving arguments for doing so, focusing on social issues.

    • @charlesmendeley9823
      @charlesmendeley9823 Год назад +1

      Write an essay from the perspective of a person who left the LDS church, giving arguments for doing so, focusing on truth claims.

  • @33snowgal
    @33snowgal Год назад +18

    I’m a never mo but have seen a lot of Mormon family vlogs- including the Dashleys, it’s interesting to learn his story on a deeper level

  • @Mittenmarket
    @Mittenmarket Год назад +7

    Oh Dallin......I have so much I want to say!! Some things make so much sense now. I am bummed Ashley didn't join. Margie being there too, might've helped. She asks the questions non Mormons like myself might be thinking and she's so kind. I feel your RUclips audience would be open to hearing your journey! Great job!

  • @madeleinesutherland1623
    @madeleinesutherland1623 Год назад +4

    "Patriarchal order"... "It doesn't make sense to have two CEOs in a company..." My company is run by two founder/CEOs and we're doing fine! The arguments people make to support patriarchal family structure quite often falter in the face of real world experience.

  • @amcgill3378
    @amcgill3378 Год назад +7

    I am so glad I found this. I have been a huge fan of The Dashleys since almost the beginning. I am so proud of you Dallin. (And also Ashley) for being brave enough to speak your truth. You never know who will watch this and find hope from it.

  • @gusgus2062
    @gusgus2062 11 месяцев назад +3

    This man still has a lot of religious trauma that he hasn’t worked on and you can just tell he wears it all over his face

  • @alexcarbajal2940
    @alexcarbajal2940 Год назад +7

    I want to thank you for all the explanations. I am not a Mormon but I am able to follow along because of the explanations. I find this very interesting. I respect both sides. Thank you.

  • @maryritter141
    @maryritter141 Год назад +5

    I don’t know if they were thinking Cleveland clinic! But Ross heart hospital at Ohio State University in Columbus. Has saved my dad‘s life twice. Amazing place. It has also helped many friends! Just a little update from Ohio. I enjoy your videos Dallin, and Ashley. I am not Mormon. Found this channel from Shay Scott. I’ve been struggling with Catholic Church and your channel, John has helped me clarify lots of things. Thank you.

  • @massagewerks1734
    @massagewerks1734 5 месяцев назад +4

    I’ve watched thousands of hours of msp and find this episode is the most dynamic of the many many excellent episodes I’ve watched. How do they keep getting better. Dallins transformation is absolutely incredible. Never mo here. Former evangelical. The two faith communities are extremely similar in how they control the minds of members. Both have toxic literal beliefs that destroy their agency. Extremely loyal. And conforming.

    • @gingercollier7949
      @gingercollier7949 4 месяца назад

      I thought it was not very good. John does a lot of leading and answering and explaining that this young man doesn’t seem to be able to articulate. Had to stop watching an 1 1/2 into it I was so bored.

  • @jobie105able
    @jobie105able Год назад +6

    I love how he talks about the fatalism and destiny mindset that makes you second guess your choices constantly. It is so unhealthy. I also love how he held all the older prophets accountable. Like, no, that was taught and it was the gospel. I love these stories of everyday people. Especially ones that address some of the ridiculousness of missions.

  • @jeniclaeys370
    @jeniclaeys370 6 месяцев назад +3

    I loved the Dashleys from the first video I saw, but I loved them despite their belief in mormonism lol this has been my fave episode to date

  • @lacywarren9140
    @lacywarren9140 Год назад +7

    Oh Dallin!!! My heart just absolutely breaks for you while you talk about your Dad. I'm so sorry.

  • @mr.dales3rd-4thmath61
    @mr.dales3rd-4thmath61 Год назад +11

    This guy is hilarious! My favorite so far of the guests.

  • @elizabethkoobs1060
    @elizabethkoobs1060 Год назад +5

    Dallin, thank you for sharing your story. You are very brave and I'm proud of you! You are amazing at quoting the Book of Mormon. I challenge you to study the New Testament of the Holy Bible. The part about cub scouts/counseling was hilarious! I have been a RUclips subscriber and supporter of your channel since James was born. I love your family!❤✝️🙏

  • @lisagrace6471
    @lisagrace6471 Год назад +2

    Here is my question - isn't teaching about the temple teaching us that Jesus' sacrifice and salvation is not enough for us? Did Jesus himself teach us that we need more than his salvation to go to heaven?
    Also, the Bible literally teaches us VERY plainly what "eternal life" is (as opposed to lds version of eternal life- john 17:3. It is to know God and Jesus, who he sent.
    3rd question for Lds- if we want to know if the book of Mormon is true... and we call it the 2nd witness of Christ, and the Bible is the "1st witness".... but we don't even KNOW the Bible... then how can you know if the book of Mormon is true of you don't know or understand the Bible really well?

  • @Havvyer
    @Havvyer 15 дней назад +1

    Aww... Dallin's so cute! His wife's rather fortunate! 😊
    By the way... how come this 8-year-old boy getting baptized on the same day his beloved father had his funeral? I'm sorry, but that to me, is nothing but a form of child abuse!! He should've been baptized when was mentally and spiritually ready for it.

  • @brandeberryb84
    @brandeberryb84 Год назад +3

    Mormon stories needs to quit interviewing family’s/individuals that do anything possible not to work. Including exploiting their children. This has nothing to do with Mormon/ cult learning experience. This is another sick thing. Don’t share your kids on the internet. Get a JOB! I have one, it’s not so bad! What they are doing to children is not consent. It’s too bad that it will take a few years for the laws to set boundaries for parents that act like anything but parents.

  • @lj9524
    @lj9524 3 месяца назад +1

    Why on earth would anyone give their “bishop” so much control over themselves? Who says the “bishop” knows best? They are only mortal men and no closer to God than you are. Just plain bizarre. CULT…..uggghhhh

  • @LoudLeo3
    @LoudLeo3 Год назад +5

    I have been watching the Dashley’s since George was born. I am so glad your sharing your story, i so hope in a couple years Ashley is in a place to share as I would love to hear her perspective. I’ve seen too many young marriages break over a faith crisis like this and I’m go glad to hear your both strong in your relationship and moving forward. ❤

  • @mickeymouse9944
    @mickeymouse9944 5 месяцев назад +1

    I am a single mom of 2 kids I was hated by all people in the ward i am getting my named removed rather go to hell then to ever stay with any of these people Lds is for weak people told how to live every minute of every day I love my god he loves me and my kids more then any one on earth so I need no one have many friends not one is Lds never visited never called never asked where my boys are so happy finally I know now I have choices and I have no worries where I am going i have no family that loves me so I am free I have more people that I love and they love us more happier now then ever before wow finaly free to walk tall with no fears my boy friend is talking marriage he has 4 brothers we are all a happy loving family with god above my kids get all they get all the love they ever need on this life they are so happy and full of great peace they are perfect kids all there needs ,wants, and family is met none is blood but me not is of the Lds so amazing there is true peace out there.

  • @DNaWhoot
    @DNaWhoot Год назад +5

    This guy should be a comedian, his timing is on point 🤣 I've never laughed so much during the podcast.

  • @salindariebow8175
    @salindariebow8175 Год назад +4

    Please do a TikTok or short reel where he was talking about Elder Bednars comment that the GA's have not seen Jesus Christ!!! That is so hugely important. It cannot be overstated.

  • @AubreyJM
    @AubreyJM Год назад +5

    I've seen a few episodes of The Dashley's RUclips channel. Super sweet family.

  • @sandywerner7134
    @sandywerner7134 Год назад +4

    Love You Dallin, and of course Ashley, George, James and Violet I watch u all the time and have for years. So interesting to hear of yr faith journey and the unravelling that happens for many. It is not fun being in a high control old fashioned brained washed judgemental group and never feel good enough How much emotional energy was wasted on such a damaging negative and how confronting to be shamed about our wonderful working bodies and our internal exploration and feelings I grew up in a high control perfectionist group and always failed to measure up So glad yr out and trust God when He says He Loves You and is waiting to bring you to Heaven Sweet Perfect patient Son of God xx

  • @galejohnson8086
    @galejohnson8086 Год назад +6

    QUESTION: non Mormon here…so relying on others for priesthood blessings if you need it or if you are sick…..does this mean that you are dependent on others to access God?

    • @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt
      @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Год назад

      Are you Christian? If you are then, "Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord" Bible James 5:14

    • @chlyri
      @chlyri Год назад

      Yes. If you're unworthy, or don't possess a Y chromosome, you have to rely on the nearest worthy man. Really screws over single mothers.

  • @crisR2386
    @crisR2386 Год назад +35

    Can't wait to hear this one. Now, you just need to get Skyler Scott on to share his story. 🫠

    • @joanne1375
      @joanne1375 Год назад

      Yes!

    • @kerstinklenovsky239
      @kerstinklenovsky239 Год назад +7

      Shae and Amanda's interview on MSP was amazing.
      They have also done a video that should win an award.

    • @crisR2386
      @crisR2386 Год назад +3

      @@kerstinklenovsky239 I know, iveseen them. This is why I'd kove to hear Skykers too.

    • @shannonwelsh5830
      @shannonwelsh5830 Год назад +4

      I would love to hear Skylar's story.

    • @marciawellman8668
      @marciawellman8668 Год назад +3

      Skylar is more interested in trying to be a comic than discussing anything of substance. Tries to act like he is in college and still a theater major than a 40 year old with 7 kids.

  • @susannekloster4883
    @susannekloster4883 Год назад +12

    Oh I know this way of thinking. Never clean enough, anxiety of if I forgot to confess something and it went on and on and on..
    I was never good enough! Now I let go of all this crazy thinking and now I finally feel close to God and Christ again and feel loved and feel joy. I left the Church after a lot of praying and seeing how they brainwashed my beloved daugther, who went on a mission.. Never have I cried so many tears, than wenn I saw my daugther changing and getting the same sick thaugths as I used to have.

    • @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt
      @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Год назад

      That is an interesting story Susanne, how did you feel when they played a sad song and you walked to the mourner's bench, mercy seat, anxious bench whatever you want to call it and chose Jesus? Did you raise you hands as a sinner? Do you know that you are walking up to the front and confessing you are a sinner, in front of everyone (not just a guy in a bad suit)? How many times have you done this? Have you ever backslid a time or two and felt you need to re-accept Jesus, re-confess, re-dedicate whatever you want to call it and there you go up to the front again, and again, and again. That is an interesting exchange you have made.

  • @Cocoon68
    @Cocoon68 9 месяцев назад +1

    The part about Elder Bednar got to me listening to him in this Q&A he was so arrogant ! Condescending And narcissistic

  • @TEAM__POSEID0N
    @TEAM__POSEID0N Год назад +6

    I love that "The Emperor's New Clothes" moment that Dallin talks about at around the 1:00:00 point. I have this running theme in my mind that much of the faith of devout Mormonism is basically a real-life version of the story of The Emperor's New Clothes. A devout Mormon is taught to see things that aren't there or, the corollary of that, taught to not see what is really there. In both cases, not seeing what is really there is a virtue. Not seeing IS believing. As a result, it seems that most people who eventually lose faith do so as a result of one or more "The Emperor's New Clothes" moments. In the famous story, it's a little kid who blurts out that the Emperor is completely and unflatteringly naked, honestly seeing and observing what is really there, while all the adults are mentally busy pretending (to the full extent of their powers of imagination) that they can see the emperor wearing the most beautiful clothing ever, since the imperial authorities have instructed everyone that the clothing can be seen by virtuous people (and not by bad people). The little kid's honesty breaks the spell.
    The Book of Mormon is basically the same thing. Mormons are taught that virtuous people, righteous people -- people who are good enough to be inspired by the Holy Ghost -- can appreciate all the profound truths, wisdom and godliness of the Book of Mormon. The corollary is that people whose minds are mired in darkness and ignorance can't see the sacred beauty of the Book of Mormon. Mormons raised that way basically have mental blocks that prevent them from seeing how ridiculous, gory, illogical and gruesome the story of the beheading of Laban is. Instead, they just choose to focus on one passage from that story about how when God gives a commandment he prepares a way for it to be accomplished.
    In Dallin's case, the single mom was the equivalent of the kid blurting out that the emperor is naked. Up to that point (and with momentum probably for some time thereafter, even though "a seed was planted"), it would seem that Dallin's attitude of thinking that if something appears to be wrong with something in the religion, it's his responsibility to correct his perception in order to see it as being not wrong, instead of recognizing it as being actually wrong kept him under the spell for a while longer. (This is of course the attitude that most faithful, devout members have, which basically makes the church virtually infallible in their eyes...until they give themselves permission to NOT doubt their doubts in cases where doubts are objectively entirely reasonable.) I'm going to add this to my list of "The Emperor's New Clothes Moments in Mormonism". One of the first ones (kind of in reverse) is when Martin Harris had to be coached by Joseph Smith into seeing something that wasn't there (i.e. an angel and the golden plates), operating on the premise that he would only be able to see these things if he had sufficient faith, procured through humbling himself in prayer, and thereby became "worthy" of seeing the things that really weren't there.

    • @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt
      @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Год назад

      This is what Martin Harris said: “Do I believe it! Do you see the sun shining! Just as surely as the sun is shining on us and gives us light, and the [moon] and stars give us light by night, just as surely as the breath of life sustains us, so surely do I know that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God, chosen of God to open the last dispensation of the fulness of times; so surely do I know that the Book of Mormon was divinely translated. I saw the plates; I saw the Angel; I heard the voice of God. I know that the Book of Mormon is true and that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God. I might as well doubt my own existence as to doubt the divine authenticity of the Book of Mormon or the divine calling of Joseph Smith” (in William Harrison Homer, “The Passing of Martin Harris,” Improvement Era, Mar. 1926, 470).

    • @jackieaudus9829
      @jackieaudus9829 Год назад

      Lying for the Lord. Second anointing. Masonic rituals.

  • @cheekymonkey8789
    @cheekymonkey8789 Год назад +4

    Yay!! I have been waiting for this one and knew it was just a matter of time. So happy for the Dashleys!! Thanks for sharing!!

  • @gramyhaze8195
    @gramyhaze8195 Год назад +5

    🎉John, refreshing to
    To see you as a solo host. You don’t need a cohost.. 5:56

  • @joshuatoro8977
    @joshuatoro8977 Год назад +6

    That's the one I didn't understand why he was supposed to put on the bloody Man's clothes I've been meeting with the missionary for a while and that was one of the first things that caught my eye why would the Lord tell him to go kill someone for some tablets I'm told that as I keep reading it'll explain it to me but I still am confused even as I keep reading could not God have him write it down again through God telling him?

    • @jennypayne5228
      @jennypayne5228 Год назад

      It's all made up. I used to believe all of it! I'm thankful to have left the church...it was toxic to me and my family.

    • @joshuatoro8977
      @joshuatoro8977 Год назад

      @@jennypayne5228 ty

    • @Zhaliberty
      @Zhaliberty Год назад

      Well supposedly the purpose of beheading Laban to get those plates was "better that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief." BUT if you read to end of the Book of Mormon it ends with an entire nation dwindling in unbelief. SO there's that. All in vain. It's just made up baloney to get money and commit sexual weirdness. i.e polygamy

    • @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt
      @LUCACAMPBELL-ny4qt Год назад

      You should read the Old Testament, nothing out of the ordinary here. According to the Bible, if God say's its yours, its yours. Go get it and if necessary kill everyone in the way. You can't cherry-pick as the Dashley's want to do and make a God after your own image.

    • @margenn3889
      @margenn3889 Год назад

      A very judgemental comment and I'm not even a mormon!

  • @roomiedoomie2364
    @roomiedoomie2364 Год назад +11

    I don’t know if you will read these comments Dallin but I wanted to share my thoughts anyways.
    I have watched your RUclips channel for years now. I have gained so much from you and Ashley sharing about your struggles and how you were working through them (especially on your podcast, Little Big Life with the Dashleys - the first podcast I ever listened to). It was happening at a time where although not religious struggles, I was having my own relationship hardships. You guys gave me so much language to look into about validation and things that you learned in therapy that I have applied to my life. It helped me to know what to ask for in my own relationship and the cultivate that with my partner. It helped me to get us into couples therapy ourselves and our relationship is also in so much better of a place now. Your vulnerability online helped me so much through hard times and for that I will always be grateful.
    I am also so glad to hear you have done shrooms. They truly are a a mind/world altering experience that is unlike anything else. The perspective that they can give you about life and your place in the universe is almost indescribable. I think you did a great job here explaining your experience and I absolutely understand what you are saying, and I’ve been there too.
    The growth that I have witnessed from a distance, seeing the little glimpses into your life that you share online, have been remarkable. I know that I don’t really know who you are, but even so, I have seen changes that I imagine are only the tip of the iceberg. I hope that you are proud of who you are, and who you continue to become. You seem to have so much more understanding, compassion, and love for yourself and others now than when you were very orthodox. Those traits you have grown in can be felt by your audience, and it’s a truly positive thing to put out into the world.
    I can only imagine the hardships of faith deconstruction, especially of such a high demand religion. You seem to be coming out of it as a better human being. Understanding the ways that your religion/views expressed by your religion sometimes negatively impacted people you came in contact with, and growing from the understanding you now have looking back on those interactions. (To be clear, everything was understandable given your beliefs at the time and there is no shame here, while also a lot of respect for having gone through such challenging growth). I’m so glad you came onto Mormon Stories as I have been hoping to hear more about your and Ashley’s religious journey (I am sad that she didn’t join, but it’s definitely understandable).
    That was long winded but I wanted to share my thoughts. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with the world.

  • @lisainthelab
    @lisainthelab Год назад +3

    Aww Dallin. I'm so sad to hear your experiences. Thank you so much for being brave enough to share. I've followed the Dashleys for a long time and it breaks my heart that you all went through these things. I'm very happy for you to be free now, but it's just so unfair that you all spent so much time believing such huge lies and shaming and all of it.
    These stories break my heart but make me even more grateful than ever that I grew up without any of this pressure, stress, and shame. It's just too much for people to handle, including children. I wish you all could go back and have a more carefree life. I do understand that it wasn't "all" bad, and that some of your growing up was normal, so I'm not trying to erase any of that. I just feel sad that everyone had to wrestle with all of that mental stress for no reason at all. It's just not fair.
    Love the Dashleys so much & appreciate you being so open & sharing your lives with us! You all are the sweetest & I wish you all the happiest future ever!

  • @christinasova2641
    @christinasova2641 Год назад +4

    Interesting how no matter the faith you grow up with, guilt and shame is so common for control in the faith.

  • @kristam4765
    @kristam4765 Год назад +6

    Wow dallin, I really feel for you and your dads death. My dad passed away 3 days before my 13th birthday. We had his funeral the day after my birthday. It was so surreal and awful. @thedashleys

  • @intuitreptition8998
    @intuitreptition8998 Год назад +4

    I only was able to tune in for the last 20 or so minutes, wow. Total 100% agree and it fully encapsulates my thoughts. Make a good reel out of the last 10 minutes!

  • @skyjust828
    @skyjust828 Год назад +3

    When I was growing up (LDS) I distinctly remember in the song "I Am A Child of God" the last line was "teach me all that I should KNOW" not DO. When my uncle was trying to "un-apostate"(?) me the missionaries (2 young ladies) they sang that song with do out of 6 people I was the only one who sang "know" it FREAKED ME OUT 😯😯😯

  • @Vetionarian
    @Vetionarian Год назад +2

    I'm glad that atheism is apparently working for Dallin but I cannot possibly see how a universe that was completely made by accident and has no permanence can have any meaning or hope. I'd rather live with hope and for me there's enough evidence of some sort of God or Gods to never give up the belief that there's more to this life than what we can see. Inexplicable things happen all the time that "shouldn't" according to scientific laws.

  • @skyjust828
    @skyjust828 Год назад +2

    I still (after 45 yrs) pay tithing, but NOT to LDS at first it was feed the children, then to wounded warriors (after Desert Storm) now I pay to All Things Possible. We had family night on Fridays playing board games & renting videos. I kept much of my Mormon upbringing just not the church part.

  • @skyjust828
    @skyjust828 4 месяца назад +1

    Psilocybin = a brain un washing 🤣😂

  • @LucyBlue0823
    @LucyBlue0823 Год назад +3

    Slapping’ a Jesus bandaid on it. So we’ll stated! ❤

  • @lesliecardwell2653
    @lesliecardwell2653 Год назад +5

    Oh my gosh .l I can’t wait .l I love the Dashlys!

  • @mintyfreshest
    @mintyfreshest Год назад +4

    I'm never-mormon and have never considered the idea of someone who has already lost a loved one and that makes the drive to be worthy of the eternal family much more tangible than it would be for someone who hasn't lost anyone. Very powerful stuff. And I have seen my fair share of Mormon stories episodes and NEVER heard someone rattle off scripture like Dallin. Amazing insightful interview as always!

  • @everafterkidz
    @everafterkidz 9 месяцев назад +1

    I do wish ashley had come...I would like to hear a woman's point of view.

  • @peanut8400
    @peanut8400 Год назад +2

    Hi Dallin and Ashley. I have watched your vlogs since pre-George days and perceived some of the anxiety or tensions in your earlier year’s vlogs that you eluded to in this interview. I was not raised in the LDS but rather the IBL doctrines (which I stepped away from as an adult). Both are extremely patriarchal in teaching. I listened to your Q & A podcasts explaining your faith. Slowly I began to see more hesitancy to share your personal faith life. I began to wonder if you were still as stalwart to LDS or if you had begun questioning. I’m glad to see that you are no longer blindly following what “has always been”. Thank you for sharing this chapter of your journey.

  • @kelli_brune
    @kelli_brune Год назад +3

    Watching at 1:30 am and had to stop from laughing at the Costco bit lol love that video. I thought for sure the big break was the “finding out you’re pregnant with James at target” I love that one. I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST EATING LOTS OF PIZZA! dashleys are life ❤️ dall. This was great. Well done sir!

  • @julearobbins1849
    @julearobbins1849 Год назад +3

    My husband and I started watching the Dashleys in their early days and we left the church around the same time in 2020. Its so good to hear Dallin's story and see just how far they have come. Im glad they are living more authentically, even through the small lens of social media they both seem so much happier now.

  • @queenelizabeth8191
    @queenelizabeth8191 Год назад +4

    Love dallin and Ashley ❤️ was really looking forward to this one

  • @susanmcclain759
    @susanmcclain759 Год назад +6

    Never Mormon here….. I’ve become addicted to Mormon Stories. This one, I soooo enjoyed. Each one has helped me with my recovery from Catholicism. I was so angry when I realized the Church insulted our intelligence with some of its teachings. Listening to these experiences have revealed it’s not just one religion. Forgiveness, acceptance and Love. Thanks 😊

  • @samanthafitzgerel4460
    @samanthafitzgerel4460 Год назад +11

    Oh, my goodness!! I clicked on this so fast!! I LOVE the Dashleys!! I had an inkling they might have been in a faith crises. As a non-Mormon, but a Christian I always get excited in knowing that folks will truly discover who Jesus is!! ❤️ And, Can i just say it? NONE of us are worthy!!! My goodness gracious, how horrible to shame teenagers in such a way. That’s so awful!!

  • @hannahplimpton5469
    @hannahplimpton5469 9 месяцев назад +2

    1:45:00 when Dallin starts talking about ashley, his whole disposition changes. His love for her is clear is refreshing.

  • @andysorensen1737
    @andysorensen1737 Год назад +7

    I’m a never Mormon but my wife has watched the Dashleys for years and here I am the husband trying to figure out what the fuss is about.
    Dahlin, dude, this is captivating stuff. I get why Ashley didn’t join y’all and my heart aches as she tries to reconcile with the consequences of leaving. Definitely have a newfound respect for y’all.

  • @boydstallings6004
    @boydstallings6004 Год назад +2

    Ever considered making short films? Use visual metaphors to communicate your ideas... might be a worthwhile experiment for you guys.

  • @kristinaanderson4160
    @kristinaanderson4160 Год назад +2

    This comment is probably wildly inappropriate but all these Mormon people are on average so physically attractive! Moreso than most people. Good pioneer stock!!

  • @stoutie18
    @stoutie18 Год назад +1

    I can’t believe this is the same guy from The Dashleys! How cool when my RUclips worlds collide

  • @monkut
    @monkut 8 месяцев назад +2

    "You have one opportunity to fall in love with existence, so sit back and enjoy." Wow, what a great quote.