I don't know why, but every time I see the 2 of you shine as parents, my eyes tear up. So beautiful to watch your whole family growing in so many positive and inspiring ways.
I have 42 year old twins. When they were born it was very overwhelming as I had never really been around babies before. I just told myself, I have never been a Mama, and they have never been babies. We will figure it out together. This helped me tremendously to navigate that first year! You learn that there is more than one way to do things as it is constantly evolving. You're doing a great job Raya!
I have 3 grown kids and honestly being a mom just naturally becomes part of your identity but as long as you take time for you, find hobbies and relax you'll find that it's a piece of you but does not define you. You're doing great and are a wonderful mom!
Yes perfectly described! It feels overwhelming at first because you're just thrusted into motherhood but eventually it becomes a natural part of your life and you find balance between motherhood and everything else.
You have said many times that motherhood was a big dream for you. And now you literally are living that dream. Maybe stay still with this first big goalpost. There is so much pressure on women to achieve and to be mothers. Everything has its season and maybe now is just the time to really embrace the present, do things that bring you joy. You have achieved so much in the last year, and whatever is meant to call you in the future will be heard in whispers first and then it will be clear. Enjoy the present because you are trully blessed x
Most of my life after kids I never really showed myself self care. It’s not just when you have newborns. I got into a vicious cycle of only worrying about everyone else. Until covid hit I never took time for myself. Now I do even though the kids are out of the house but still I worry so much. I take baths, meditate, breathing, hikes by myself, reading books. It’s been a game changer. So nice to see more young people taking the time for self care!❤
I was a night owl before my son was born. After his birth everything overwhelmed me & I found out that I had been forgetting I was a person with lots of passions. SO ... I started getting up early & doing things for me! Reading, writing, hobbies, walking (if my husband wasn't traveling). We had no family near us, so it was up to me. Going to bed early and getting up early has stuck. My son turned 27 this past April and I have never regretted becoming a morning person. A book that helped me too was Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way to reestablish my creativity ❤
My son is 4 months older than Neo and I *love* seeing Neo hitting all those milestones because they are still all so fresh in my mind! Hopefully if Neo can roll both ways, he doesn't hit the stage where rolls onto his tummy at night and then screams because he can't get back. That was a rough few weeks...
You two are amazing parents and your ability to share is amazingly powerful. I am a mom of 9 (three bios) and a retired childbirth doula. Your question regarding your identity after birth is a great one! You are learning that you no longer fit in a few categories but an endless variety that can change every moment. Your thoughts on letting time move thru you is glorious! Open hands, open heart and full gratitude... you are ROCKING it!!! ~Soot 'n Boots
I am a grandmother of 2 almost grown kids now. Had no time as a young mom. Once I’d been home for 6 months with my 2 babies, I was right back into my social work career. I’m jealous of the time you have. I just did it all without taking a breath. I take lots of time for myself now, including yoga (❤️) and swimming, hearing more music, seeing more art, more travel. Happily, I have never had anxiety (so lucky).
Loved your analogy about time, the present and the future. Somehow it gave me peace, so thank you. I'm not a mom (nor I wish to be one), but I can understand the identity crisis you are talking about, I saw that on my sister too (she is a mom of two boys of 2 and 4 years)... what can I say, I'm sure motherhood is a big change, all the big changes bring identity crisis, shock and struggles. I would wait some more time to get used to your new reality, which you both love and wanted to experience. Just trust that everything is going to be alright, I'm sure you will find your new and improved identity very soon, Raya
As a mother myself I will say we naturally just pour into our children more than we do into ourselves and it is so important to find balance and those things that help us bring the creative side out, gives us peace of mind, but also remind us to love ourselves and take care of ourselves. Pouring into our own cup is just as important and it also helps us become even better as individuals but also better as parents. I recently started water coloring myself, getting back into my yoga and meditation, and grounding myself. I recently joined a women’s group as well and it’s so nice to have that support as well. I’m finally doing so many things for myself after losing who I truly am, and what I truly loved and it’s such a free feeling. So I’m sure many moms can relate and it’s normal to go through every thought, every feeling you’re experiencing and we love you and I am rooting for you mama!!!! ❤
My son is 19 now and in college and I've worried about him everyday, usually wondering if he is happy. I think that will be a forever thing as a mommy.
I blinked and my oldest went from newborn to teenager. I worry about him every day but try and let him be his own person because he's awesome and funny and wonderful. I can't wait to see who he's going to be in the future but I also mourn the fact he'll never be 'X' age again. Mum life. :)
One of the things I do to unwind in the evening is art journaling, painting, collaging, writing, in a journal, there are tons of YT videos, and inspiration on IG and Pinterest. It’s a great way to process how your feeling. It’s been great for my mental health.
You've got your priorities straight, Raya. :) Just remember to not worry about the future too much because it deprives you of the NOW. Enjoy every day you get with them when he's so little. Mine are grown now and I love their independence and they're great kids, but sometimes I miss when they were little and snuggly. BTW, I love that Neo has your expressive eyebrows. So adorable.
It’s comforting to watch you and your baby, knowing that mine is just a few weeks younger, and to think that we do very similar things and feel comforted by that. You’re doing a great job.
I wish I’d had a ‘Raya’ when I’d had my daughter. It was such a challenging time for me. I was so anxious, exhausted and had no one to talk with. This was many years ago now but anyone now will benefit so much to hear how you navigate the early months with a new born. You help make the many worries seem more normal and that’s a great feeling! You and Louis are super parents for Neo and are doing brilliantly. Neo is such an alert little boy and very cute! 🍦🍦🌻🥰🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️
My baby was born just a couple of days after yours and i'm so chocked by what you said about identity lost, didn't realise before that was exactly my feeling. Motherhood is such an ambivalent adventure of loving it and also feeling overwhelmed !
Raya, I found that I was constantly reinventing myself, after having my first child. I don’t recall having an identity crisis when my first born child reads born, because I was still working and I just absorbed and savored those three months of my maternity leave before I had to go back to work. Then it was a constant identity struggle between my job and being a mother. Ultimately, for me, I “retired” from work life to be a full time mom. I have never regretted that decision. The hardest transition was from having three kids at home to becoming an empty nester. That was very difficult for me because for 27 years and with three children, they came first and my later work (when my youngest was 5) was catered around their school schedule. Figuring out who I am, separate from being the mother of my three kids, has been hard. But I have figured it out after I gave myself plenty of time to mourn and process the life I led as a mom with kids at home to being the older, empty nester with a part-time job that I love. I guess I just want to let you know that you will figure it out, your purpose and identity outside of being a mom (and maybe it is completely to be Neo’s mom) but to not rush through that process. You are doing really well and I love watching you envelop your life as Neo’s mom. Your identity is your choice. You can be a mom. You can be a vlogger and a mom. You can be anything you want to be and you can be several things at the same time. You got this! ❤️
Honestly....my kids are almost 22 and almost 21 and everything you said absolutely resonates with me. Enjoy every moment, every challenge, every ounce of growth....it happens so fast and all of a sudden they are adults themselves. I wish I would've taken more time for myself during my children's growth....it wodve made me a better mom for sure. You're doing every thing right, Raya! Both you and Louie are fantastic parents! Things will only get better....the learning never stops for any of you. ❤
I hear you about identity and never being the same version of yourself again. I have 10 year old twins and it is only in the last couple of years I have started to redefine myself and I’m still working out who I am now. It’s a journey. And that constant contradiction of wanting time to myself and yet missing them whenever they are not around is a big part of that. It’s all a gift and hard and joyful all at the same time. All the best!
Hello gorgeous mama!! Been waiting for this one! Currently 5 weeks away from meeting my baby girl.. my 3 ye old son is so excited! Btw he told me I was beautiful the other day and my mom heart exploded! Can’t wait to watch you watch your baby grow up!
In relation to the identity loss: I went through that too and it was really tough. The old you IS still there, and as your kids get older and more independent you’ll find glimpses of her more and more often. You’re right that you will never be the same, though. You’ve evolved and will continue to. The way I made peace with it in my mind was to think of old me, and new me, and help them become friends. Help them align and influence one another so it didn’t feel like there was a huge gap. When I had time I’d get back to things old me enjoyed, and I let that morph as needed for new me. I am an introvert so despite motherhood being my absolute dream come true, it is draining. I started taking short solo trips 2 years ago when my boys were 1.5 and 4 and have continued to do so 3-4 times a year. While some people would see that as selfish, my husband knows I come home rejuvenated and ready to be a better mom and wife, and my kids see that although I love and care for them daily, I don’t put my own dreams aside entirely. I still follow my passions. That’s a good lesson for them to see.
So good to see you are learning how to cope with postpartum anxiety. I had it over 22 years ago when my son was born. Back then people didn’t talk about postpartum depression or anxiety like they do now. It seems like yesterday, but I had such a hard time in those first 6 to 8 weeks. Around 8 weeks I started doing therapy and taking medication for anxiety. It really changed everything and I also learned to get time for myself. It all got so much better when he was about 3 months old and started smiling and laughing. I was just loving it so much then and really didn’t want to go back to work which was so different from when I started maternity leave. I had been missing my previous life also and going to work. I was enjoying being home with my son and not feeling as anxious.
Raya and Louis you are both such Amazing parents ❤ I love watching you two help each other out with Neo and giving him all your Love and attention ❤️ It is extremely Important to still fill up your cups, as you said,Raya.. Do things that both make you happy and bring you Joy. You two are a Beast Team, Blessings and Love to you All 🙏♥️🙏
Raya, what a perfect explanation about identity shifts and priorities. Not just helpful for other moms to here, a great reminder for us non parents that have friends with littles.
I completely understand what you're saying about having to redefine yourself now that you're a mother. Find out what is truly worthy of what little free time you have. My kids are 10 & 13 and I'm finding myself going back to having more spare time. I'm rediscovering myself too now that I'm becoming more me focused again. They don't need me as much! Life is such a journey! ❤️❤️
Honestly, I love watching you two as parents. You just seem to know what you're doing and little Neo is going to have a great childhood. Yes, finding yourself is a challenge for all mothers. My oldest is turning 19 on Friday and my youngest just turned 17. I wasn't given space to find myself again until the past few years. My husband just allows me to be me and rejoices everything I do. Haha! I love it! You can paint, sing, go for walks and I'd love to see your designs for dresses! Have a great week and I'm excited to see your surprise you were talking about. Thanks for making content that I look forward to watching every week.❤
I'm at the other end of the parenting scale. 6 months after our (now 19 year old) son finished high school I had a bit of a meltdown. I felt like I'd lost my identity. He didn't need me like he used to. He had started university and was living away on campus, he had his licence and was driving himself everywhere. I really missed being needed. I actually talked to him and my husband about it, just to let them know where I was at. They were (& continue to be) so supportive. Our son said he would always need me, but in different ways now. I found a hobby in singing and it's become my "me time". There are so many stages of parenting, but one thing is that we never stop worrying for our kids. And that's ok!
The shower will become your meditation space as a mum - even when children are older and will knock on the bathroom door- standing under running water is bliss time
It’s amazing you have shared your mental health journey and realise how important having time for your self and doing things different that is for you. It has taken me 16 years to realise what you are learning within months. ❤
I totally understand your comments about figuring out yourself after baby. It took me some time as well. I rediscovered old likes, like playing piano, and discovered some new ones, like biking. It will take a little time, but you'll get there. My kiddos are 18 and 21.
Neo's almost to the age that he'll really start to look like "himself"... lol So fun to compare to your own baby pictures and see what features of each family he shares! Thank you for sharing him with us all. He brings me such joy...as you both do as well. I've been struggling for a while taking care of my grandfather while he passes on to the next chapter. We had his Celebration of Life on Sunday...seeing a wee one helps me to remember the circle of life and how beautiful it all is. xoxo
I’d love to see a video about menu planning and weekly food preps. How do you keep this simple and avoid being in the kitchen forever; always reinvesting the wheel?
I know how you feel. My son Leon is 3 months old and I’m trying to find myself as well. What I found out was that “me” time is very important , but when the “me” time isn’t the same as before. I love spending time with my baby, at 10 minutes of exercise, reading, laundry or cooking. I love cooking and laundry, I relax doing 😊
Ha. My sons are 42 & 40, and my grandsons are 6 & 3 yo. Rediscovering yourself is possibly a lifelong process, and that’s a good thing. As we age & change in our life roles, it’s appropriate for us to discover new things. I’m a crafter by heart. I’ve loved quilting, needlepoint & gardening. My current passion is knitting. You live in a lovely place to learn to knit. I’m obsessed with hand dyed yarns ❣️ Check out some yarn shops in your area. All the best to you & your little family.
Things change so much during the course of the first year or two, I feel like I have been constantly readjusting my life depending on what stage we've been at. I started doing freelance work so I could be flexible with my time and overall it's been nice to still do things I enjoy and to be able to interact with other adults. All my work is during naptime, so I don't have to miss out on any of the awake time with my son.
I seldom make a comment for someone elses baby. In this case I can't help myself. Neo is adorable. Such big eyes! Full of curiousity! I don't remember, "losing an identity". Becoming a mother ADDED to my list!
My kids are 10 and 13 and I’m only JUST finding myself again. My advice, don’t overthink it and enjoy the ride. Now my kids are this age it feels like it’s almost over! It goes fast and finding ways to refill your cup is vital but often elusive! It’s a completely new paradigm. I think acceptance is crucial. This is the new you! Fragmented, fractured and always torn but this messiness is what it’s all about!
Trying to get back my identity has been the hardest thing I’ve tackled. I have an 11 month old daughter. And what helped was bringing her LITERALLY EVERYWHERE with me. I am a rare plant collector and while I was pregnant, I lost my passion for it. But since her birth, she has truly opened up my heart up to it again. But I will say, making time to get away for yourself will also help. Being with friends (without baby), exploring your hobbies, SOCIALIZING, have all really helped me get back to me❤
I felt like I was being held hostage by the baby I loved dearly. It takes a very slow descend to feel more like yourself. You will never be the same, but you will always be his mom. It ain't easy!
Ummmm....your timeliness theory, OPENED MY EYES SOOO MUCH!!! My plan was not and never was layed out for me...the place that I should be in...is the place I am in....love it!!! ❤❤❤
When I had kids I realized the importance of going in the outdoors on a daily basis, breastfeeding made me realize I can't sit still lol, so I relied on running, and cycling and would bring the kids along with prams, etc even carried them on a front pack when brushing my horse and stuff The things I did as a kid I wanted to do even more once I had my own. I would spend heaps of time encouraging my kids to draw and one is now going to art school, and another does music (dad is a musician and artisan), so it was a mixture of things we love, things we wanted to be good at when we were kids and things that naturally came along that our kids are now into. Dance partying is the best kid activity, totally. Neo is the cutest baby ever! Kia kaha for your self reflection, it is a journey and you are an amazing mother.
Hey Raya- My daughter is 3 and I am still in the process of figuring out this new me! It probably is taking me awhile due to the pandemic and life just changing a lot for all of us. Anywho...I've just now started to get back to a regular yoga practice and finding my creative outlet. It has taken a lot of trial and error and every stage of raising a child brings new joys and challenges. I love your viewpoint on being open to the experience and learning as you go! I honestly think that is what helps keep one sane as a parent because you will never have all the answers, kids grow up so fast! Sending love to your beautiful family!
I agree don’t lose yourself, but also don’t stress over it, they’re only little babies for such a short amount of time compared to our life span that first year is no sacrifice! There’s plenty of time in the future to find new hobbies, for now enjoy your little baby!!
I'm a mom of two girls aged 7 and 11. I totally identify with the loss of self. I don't think I've totally come around to a final version of me post kids. I think I'm evolving as they evolve. Newborn is such a different stage then toddler or school age and now I have middle school to learn about. I also recently picked up watercolor! And you guys should absolutely narrate every day tasks. It helps build vocabulary just like reading books! ❤❤❤
Raya - I think every mum goes through exactly how you feel! My first bub - I was desperate to go back to my job and get a taste of the old me and get out of the brain fog of first time mum. I think a lot of it was due to covid lockdowns and feeling isolated. Once I was back at work, I felt so much better. My first is now 3 yrs old and my second is 7 months and I feel so much more into the mum groove and actually love this new phase as a mum of two boys.
Fun fact, in Costa Rica, traditionally babies were sometimes fed Coffee in their bottle. That is less and less common now, but back in the day it was quite common.
I have definitely gone through identity crisis especially at first but I think as the baby becomes more independent you do end up having a bit more time for self care. I now have a 2.5 year old toddler and he can be pretty full on some days but it’s the most beautiful journey overall. I’d say I still struggle with it sometimes especially as none of my friends have kids yet so it’s hard to figure out how to be social and motherhood. On a positive note I have found new things I love which I get to enjoy with my son like roller skating when he’s on his scooter or having dance parties with him every night! You deffo get to experience a lot of things through their eyes which so so great and tap into your inner child xx
I’ve been a mom since the 1st of june too and I’m so lost about what I want to do with my life 😅 especially with my job. Becoming a mom changed everything. So I do understand your feeling. I’m thinking to do a skill assessment. Also I need to prioritize what I do with my free time 😂 it won’t be the same than in the past. For sure my kid is now my priority number one. Last thinking I have also is the following: I’m 30 and I don’t regret to have waited that age to have a kid. I’m not nostalgic about my “past” life but now that I have a kid a appreciate even more the years I lived before: the travels, the parties, all my experiences 🙏🏼 and I can now even more appreciate my new life knowing I lived all I wanted to live before
It took me 18 months to start feeling like myself again after our little boy was born. He has just turned 2 and we have travelled for almost his whole life so far but are now residing back in the UK. I found the transition to motherhood HARD. I didn't have a village and I've never had mum friends so you can imagine it's not been easy but having a supportive husband and family (albeit far away) helped !
I’m a “retired stay at home mom” my 2 boys are in their early 20’s…. Finding hobbies and connections are super important, so good for you for figuring that out early. There is a you tube channel Shayda Campbell and she demonstrates how to do really sweet doodles and watercolors. I like to take my best little doodles and cut them into note cards to send to a friend and say hello! Thanks for sharing and you are a beautiful family.
Just struggled through finding myself again, I have carved out time to craft in my free time. DIY house projects keep me busy and I always feel better afterwards!
My only daughter is 2 and I think I found myself again when she was around 1,5 years old. I started crocheting, also watercolouring ... It sometimes takes time but now I feel I'm at where I should be. Wishing that you find yourself, your hobbies and everything!!!
I think “mom” became my identity for a while. I couldn’t think past wanting to be with her. However, a few years in my personal interests and passions were reignited and I actually went back to school. I plan to apply to grad school at the end of the year. I think it helped to just lean in to motherhood how I could and for as long as I could. This path happened to me naturally and I also didn’t feel like I missed out on those precious baby moments with her.
My kids are in their early 20s, and I’ve found that every new stage in their lives has triggered a new development in my own sense of self. Different times in the kids’ development have varying paces to daily life, and being tuned into them and their needs just naturally changes your speed of thought, the way your patience is functioning, your energy levels, etc. For example, Neo is a human puzzle right now, so after a day of trying to decipher what he’s into, what he needs, what skills he’s gaining, what could be a danger to him, etc., your brain is probably all puzzled out. But you are also really strengthening your “mental muscles” for sitting and observing, noting small details, etc., so a hobby like painting will probably build on that increased strength in those areas. The constant change is a lot at times, and it’s a journey and then some, but it’s also a beautiful thing to find new aspects of yourself and your interests. I think the main thing is to just be open to that journey and try to look for the new discoveries rather than fret too much over the passing of the phases you are leaving behind. And you may not be leaving them behind for good, either. I’ve definitely set habits and hobbies aside at times only to find that a few years down the line they are just the thing for me once again.
Being parents, I guess is challenging ALL THE time ! My son is ALREADY 14. Time flies and challenges change, but as time goes by, we change and do our best to do everything we can so our kid can keep on being happy. It’s often difficult and I always worry, but I’m lucky that my husband is helping me to keep calm. We both made mistakes, but that’s ok. We do our best ! There is no school of parenting. Just do our best is already a lot ! 💖💖💖
Love witnessing you guys step into parenthood! My little guy is almost 2y, but I still remember those early months with a newborn, and all of the exciting milestones! I definitely felt this huge loss of identity. Motherhood was all-consuming for me (in the best way), and as my son got older I found it difficult at first to separate my time, my focus and my identity with him. The more I made time to enjoy the hobbies I had before, as well as make space to try new ones, the more I felt myself coming back into my own.
I thought I had all the experience in the world to be a good mother. I had worked in childcare, as a nanny, and took care of all my nieces and nephews all the time. I took all the classes. But nothing can fully prepare you for motherhood. The one thing that got me was the loss of identity, but also the fact that it was all day every day without breaks. I know that sounds stupid to say, but it almost gave me a panic attack, knowing that I couldn’t do anything on my own anymore. Once I sort of mourned my past self and came into this whole new life of motherhood, it got easier. You have to let yourself feel all those valid feelings because it doesn’t mean you love your son any less. You aren’t just caring for a child. You are losing your past self and becoming a new one and that takes time and Grace.
I have experienced the same thing and still do often. I’m glad you took time to go on an adventure and also do a creative outlet/take time for yourself as well. Whatever activity you do I feel like it just needs to be simple but still rewarding, which water color is nice for that! I feel like instruments are nice to because you can fiddle with them and be creative. I also ove friendship and fellowship, and I honestly use RUclips to have a mama fellowship when other moms or myself are too busy. But I try to set up play dates and try to get outside. Showers, vitamin B, vitamin D, caffeine, time for myself, fellowship in person and virtually, being outside and everyone now and then do a personal activity and then date nights are THE BEST!!!! So a lot you have already said!
Mum of two age 8 and 6 first year with my son was beautiful and so hard . My body felt not mine breastfeeding was so hard but every month its a new learning experience finding a mom group thats honest and kind helps i have zero regret for being a attachment parent my kids come to me for safety and comfort. Its beautiful and very hard
I am on the other side of identity issues. My last child left home in the Spring and I am now trying to rediscover who I am. I have had a child in the house for 30 years so you tend to lose yourself in Motherhood.
I loved watching louis read picture books to Neo. I love a good declutter and get rid of things easily but when my youngest was ready to let go of her picture books i had a little cry. Reading them all to my 3 was so special 😍
Oh my gosh, you guys are doing Amazing!!!! I love the bunting in your place....and around town, makes me happy, I need to put that in my place, to help with depression. You guys are doing awesome as parents...KEEP IT UP!!!
Good on you Raya for documenting what you have been through, so that other young mums can see they aren't alone, back in my day there wasn't such a thing as RUclips, not even the internet. Totally agree with living in the moment, if you are thinking ahead then it causes a sense of anxiety, keep up the good work and look forward at what young Mums do these days.
I totally resonate with what you are saying. The identity shift my partner and I experience is something we did not expect to be so intense and to be honest took quite some time to adjust. Thank you for sharing it’s important to share that message so people do not feel so alone. It’s a beautiful time with new babe but can be very lonely as well. ❤ Sending you guys well wishes
I think Louis may have found his calling as the new Mr Rogers ❤❤. Definitely consider a channel for kids because you two are so talented and knowledgeable with so much positivity to share with the young ones 🥰
I have 3 years and 3 month old girl, now is all OK, but she had some muscle and brain issues so lot of doctors appointments treatments, she still sleeps with me in bed (she started sleeping full. night when she was three years old - before it was 5 to - 10 times waking and I am glad that this changed) and she can be demanding in day, but I love her and time with her, and I am still searching for what is worth it to invest my time into and not to be with her. Still searching for new ME. And I feel most of the time OK by not knowing Eckhart Tolle was a big inspiration in this. So yes still most of the time lost who AM I. And THANK YOU for sharing especially the idea about time. It gives sense and also helps wit accepting present moment more fully. Thank you for the video and all the best to your family.
It’s called growing up…you do it because you have to and want to..it’s always going to be new…for his whole journey, you’ll be learning just like any parent. But very important for a little me time…
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I don't know why, but every time I see the 2 of you shine as parents, my eyes tear up. So beautiful to watch your whole family growing in so many positive and inspiring ways.
I was thinking the same thing right before I saw your comment. You can feel the love between them..
Thank you so much!! 🥹❤️
His eyebrows are just adorable! Such a Louis trait
I love that he has Raya's peaceful energy already and Louis's curious nature! It fills my heart with joy watching
I have 42 year old twins. When they were born it was very overwhelming as I had never really been around babies before. I just told myself, I have never been a Mama, and they have never been babies. We will figure it out together. This helped me tremendously to navigate that first year! You learn that there is more than one way to do things as it is constantly evolving. You're doing a great job Raya!
Thank you!! And I love that so much, such a helpful reminder that we’re all just trying to figure it out ❤️
I have 3 grown kids and honestly being a mom just naturally becomes part of your identity but as long as you take time for you, find hobbies and relax you'll find that it's a piece of you but does not define you. You're doing great and are a wonderful mom!
Yes perfectly described! It feels overwhelming at first because you're just thrusted into motherhood but eventually it becomes a natural part of your life and you find balance between motherhood and everything else.
You have said many times that motherhood was a big dream for you. And now you literally are living that dream. Maybe stay still with this first big goalpost. There is so much pressure on women to achieve and to be mothers. Everything has its season and maybe now is just the time to really embrace the present, do things that bring you joy. You have achieved so much in the last year, and whatever is meant to call you in the future will be heard in whispers first and then it will be clear. Enjoy the present because you are trully blessed x
Most of my life after kids I never really showed myself self care. It’s not just when you have newborns. I got into a vicious cycle of only worrying about everyone else. Until covid hit I never took time for myself. Now I do even though the kids are out of the house but still I worry so much. I take baths, meditate, breathing, hikes by myself, reading books. It’s been a game changer. So nice to see more young people taking the time for self care!❤
I was a night owl before my son was born. After his birth everything overwhelmed me & I found out that I had been forgetting I was a person with lots of passions. SO ... I started getting up early & doing things for me! Reading, writing, hobbies, walking (if my husband wasn't traveling). We had no family near us, so it was up to me. Going to bed early and getting up early has stuck. My son turned 27 this past April and I have never regretted becoming a morning person. A book that helped me too was Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way to reestablish my creativity ❤
My son is 4 months older than Neo and I *love* seeing Neo hitting all those milestones because they are still all so fresh in my mind! Hopefully if Neo can roll both ways, he doesn't hit the stage where rolls onto his tummy at night and then screams because he can't get back. That was a rough few weeks...
You two are amazing parents and your ability to share is amazingly powerful. I am a mom of 9 (three bios) and a retired childbirth doula. Your question regarding your identity after birth is a great one! You are learning that you no longer fit in a few categories but an endless variety that can change every moment. Your thoughts on letting time move thru you is glorious! Open hands, open heart and full gratitude... you are ROCKING it!!! ~Soot 'n Boots
I am a grandmother of 2 almost grown kids now. Had no time as a young mom. Once I’d been home for 6 months with my 2 babies, I was right back into my social work career. I’m jealous of the time you have. I just did it all without taking a breath. I take lots of time for myself now, including yoga (❤️) and swimming, hearing more music, seeing more art, more travel. Happily, I have never had anxiety (so lucky).
Loved your analogy about time, the present and the future. Somehow it gave me peace, so thank you. I'm not a mom (nor I wish to be one), but I can understand the identity crisis you are talking about, I saw that on my sister too (she is a mom of two boys of 2 and 4 years)... what can I say, I'm sure motherhood is a big change, all the big changes bring identity crisis, shock and struggles. I would wait some more time to get used to your new reality, which you both love and wanted to experience. Just trust that everything is going to be alright, I'm sure you will find your new and improved identity very soon, Raya
As a mother myself I will say we naturally just pour into our children more than we do into ourselves and it is so important to find balance and those things that help us bring the creative side out, gives us peace of mind, but also remind us to love ourselves and take care of ourselves. Pouring into our own cup is just as important and it also helps us become even better as individuals but also better as parents. I recently started water coloring myself, getting back into my yoga and meditation, and grounding myself. I recently joined a women’s group as well and it’s so nice to have that support as well. I’m finally doing so many things for myself after losing who I truly am, and what I truly loved and it’s such a free feeling. So I’m sure many moms can relate and it’s normal to go through every thought, every feeling you’re experiencing and we love you and I am rooting for you mama!!!! ❤
My son is 19 now and in college and I've worried about him everyday, usually wondering if he is happy. I think that will be a forever thing as a mommy.
It is! All mine are in there 30's and worry about them to this day!! 😊
I blinked and my oldest went from newborn to teenager. I worry about him every day but try and let him be his own person because he's awesome and funny and wonderful. I can't wait to see who he's going to be in the future but I also mourn the fact he'll never be 'X' age again. Mum life. :)
❤❤
One of the things I do to unwind in the evening is art journaling, painting, collaging, writing, in a journal, there are tons of YT videos, and inspiration on IG and Pinterest. It’s a great way to process how your feeling. It’s been great for my mental health.
You've got your priorities straight, Raya. :) Just remember to not worry about the future too much because it deprives you of the NOW. Enjoy every day you get with them when he's so little. Mine are grown now and I love their independence and they're great kids, but sometimes I miss when they were little and snuggly. BTW, I love that Neo has your expressive eyebrows. So adorable.
It’s comforting to watch you and your baby, knowing that mine is just a few weeks younger, and to think that we do very similar things and feel comforted by that. You’re doing a great job.
I can't get over how much Neo has grown and progressed. He still has Maya's dark eyes. Such a lovely life you guys have.
Doesn’t Louie have blue eyes 🤷🏻♀️
@@CarinaPiersay I thought he has dark eyes, too. Maybe I am cuckoo. Yes, more hazel, I guess. Hard to tell. My screen is too small. Thanks!!
I wish I’d had a ‘Raya’ when I’d had my daughter. It was such a challenging time for me. I was so anxious, exhausted and had no one to talk with. This was many years ago now but anyone now will benefit so much to hear how you navigate the early months with a new born. You help make the many worries seem more normal and that’s a great feeling! You and Louis are super parents for Neo and are doing brilliantly. Neo is such an alert little boy and very cute! 🍦🍦🌻🥰🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️
Thank you so so much!! ❤️
My baby was born just a couple of days after yours and i'm so chocked by what you said about identity lost, didn't realise before that was exactly my feeling. Motherhood is such an ambivalent adventure of loving it and also feeling overwhelmed !
I loved what you said about time! Thank you! Sending you all love!!
Raya, I found that I was constantly reinventing myself, after having my first child. I don’t recall having an identity crisis when my first born child reads born, because I was still working and I just absorbed and savored those three months of my maternity leave before I had to go back to work. Then it was a constant identity struggle between my job and being a mother. Ultimately, for me, I “retired” from work life to be a full time mom. I have never regretted that decision. The hardest transition was from having three kids at home to becoming an empty nester. That was very difficult for me because for 27 years and with three children, they came first and my later work (when my youngest was 5) was catered around their school schedule. Figuring out who I am, separate from being the mother of my three kids, has been hard. But I have figured it out after I gave myself plenty of time to mourn and process the life I led as a mom with kids at home to being the older, empty nester with a part-time job that I love. I guess I just want to let you know that you will figure it out, your purpose and identity outside of being a mom (and maybe it is completely to be Neo’s mom) but to not rush through that process. You are doing really well and I love watching you envelop your life as Neo’s mom. Your identity is your choice. You can be a mom. You can be a vlogger and a mom. You can be anything you want to be and you can be several things at the same time. You got this! ❤️
Very well said and I completely agree. You explained what I have gone through too so well and I believe most women go thru this too.
Honestly....my kids are almost 22 and almost 21 and everything you said absolutely resonates with me. Enjoy every moment, every challenge, every ounce of growth....it happens so fast and all of a sudden they are adults themselves. I wish I would've taken more time for myself during my children's growth....it wodve made me a better mom for sure. You're doing every thing right, Raya! Both you and Louie are fantastic parents! Things will only get better....the learning never stops for any of you. ❤
I love that Neo is half Raya and half Louis!
Rayas 'no way' after Louis saying you're going to have 6 brothers and sisters 🤣 so cute and funny
and so relatable! lol
exactly 🤣🤣🤣
I can definitely see them living full time in Costa Rica with lots of kids maybe buying more land in the eco village
I hear you about identity and never being the same version of yourself again. I have 10 year old twins and it is only in the last couple of years I have started to redefine myself and I’m still working out who I am now. It’s a journey. And that constant contradiction of wanting time to myself and yet missing them whenever they are not around is a big part of that. It’s all a gift and hard and joyful all at the same time. All the best!
Hello gorgeous mama!! Been waiting for this one! Currently 5 weeks away from meeting my baby girl.. my 3 ye old son is so excited! Btw he told me I was beautiful the other day and my mom heart exploded! Can’t wait to watch you watch your baby grow up!
In relation to the identity loss: I went through that too and it was really tough. The old you IS still there, and as your kids get older and more independent you’ll find glimpses of her more and more often. You’re right that you will never be the same, though. You’ve evolved and will continue to. The way I made peace with it in my mind was to think of old me, and new me, and help them become friends. Help them align and influence one another so it didn’t feel like there was a huge gap. When I had time I’d get back to things old me enjoyed, and I let that morph as needed for new me.
I am an introvert so despite motherhood being my absolute dream come true, it is draining. I started taking short solo trips 2 years ago when my boys were 1.5 and 4 and have continued to do so 3-4 times a year. While some people would see that as selfish, my husband knows I come home rejuvenated and ready to be a better mom and wife, and my kids see that although I love and care for them daily, I don’t put my own dreams aside entirely. I still follow my passions. That’s a good lesson for them to see.
love love how you explained time, resonate so strongly with it
So good to see you are learning how to cope with postpartum anxiety. I had it over 22 years ago when my son was born. Back then people didn’t talk about postpartum depression or anxiety like they do now. It seems like yesterday, but I had such a hard time in those first 6 to 8 weeks. Around 8 weeks I started doing therapy and taking medication for anxiety. It really changed everything and I also learned to get time for myself. It all got so much better when he was about 3 months old and started smiling and laughing. I was just loving it so much then and really didn’t want to go back to work which was so different from when I started maternity leave. I had been missing my previous life also and going to work. I was enjoying being home with my son and not feeling as anxious.
Raya and Louis you are both such Amazing parents ❤ I love watching you two help each other out with Neo and giving him all your Love and attention ❤️ It is extremely Important to still fill up your cups, as you said,Raya.. Do things that both make you happy and bring you Joy. You two are a Beast Team, Blessings and Love to you All 🙏♥️🙏
Raya, what a perfect explanation about identity shifts and priorities. Not just helpful for other moms to here, a great reminder for us non parents that have friends with littles.
I completely understand what you're saying about having to redefine yourself now that you're a mother. Find out what is truly worthy of what little free time you have. My kids are 10 & 13 and I'm finding myself going back to having more spare time. I'm rediscovering myself too now that I'm becoming more me focused again. They don't need me as much! Life is such a journey! ❤️❤️
I love how you spoke about time and explained that. Totally changed my perspective
Honestly, I love watching you two as parents. You just seem to know what you're doing and little Neo is going to have a great childhood. Yes, finding yourself is a challenge for all mothers. My oldest is turning 19 on Friday and my youngest just turned 17. I wasn't given space to find myself again until the past few years. My husband just allows me to be me and rejoices everything I do. Haha! I love it! You can paint, sing, go for walks and I'd love to see your designs for dresses! Have a great week and I'm excited to see your surprise you were talking about. Thanks for making content that I look forward to watching every week.❤
I'm at the other end of the parenting scale. 6 months after our (now 19 year old) son finished high school I had a bit of a meltdown. I felt like I'd lost my identity. He didn't need me like he used to. He had started university and was living away on campus, he had his licence and was driving himself everywhere. I really missed being needed. I actually talked to him and my husband about it, just to let them know where I was at. They were (& continue to be) so supportive. Our son said he would always need me, but in different ways now. I found a hobby in singing and it's become my "me time". There are so many stages of parenting, but one thing is that we never stop worrying for our kids. And that's ok!
The shower will become your meditation space as a mum - even when children are older and will knock on the bathroom door- standing under running water is bliss time
Leo - you’re doing just the best thing talking to him as you do regular daily things like making coffee!!❤
So sorry - Louis
It’s amazing you have shared your mental health journey and realise how important having time for your self and doing things different that is for you. It has taken me 16 years to realise what you are learning within months. ❤
I totally understand your comments about figuring out yourself after baby. It took me some time as well. I rediscovered old likes, like playing piano, and discovered some new ones, like biking. It will take a little time, but you'll get there. My kiddos are 18 and 21.
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Always so happy to see a new video from you guys!❤
Neo's almost to the age that he'll really start to look like "himself"... lol So fun to compare to your own baby pictures and see what features of each family he shares! Thank you for sharing him with us all. He brings me such joy...as you both do as well. I've been struggling for a while taking care of my grandfather while he passes on to the next chapter. We had his Celebration of Life on Sunday...seeing a wee one helps me to remember the circle of life and how beautiful it all is. xoxo
Awww he is so cute!🥰🤗I love how he has such an inquisitive look on his face!
I’d love to see a video about menu planning and weekly food preps.
How do you keep this simple and avoid being in the kitchen forever; always reinvesting the wheel?
I know how you feel.
My son Leon is 3 months old and I’m trying to find myself as well.
What I found out was that “me” time is very important , but when the “me” time isn’t the same as before.
I love spending time with my baby, at 10 minutes of exercise, reading, laundry or cooking. I love cooking and laundry, I relax doing 😊
Ha. My sons are 42 & 40, and my grandsons are 6 & 3 yo. Rediscovering yourself is possibly a lifelong process, and that’s a good thing. As we age & change in our life roles, it’s appropriate for us to discover new things. I’m a crafter by heart. I’ve loved quilting, needlepoint & gardening. My current passion is knitting. You live in a lovely place to learn to knit. I’m obsessed with hand dyed yarns ❣️ Check out some yarn shops in your area. All the best to you & your little family.
He’s beautiful, inquisitive, and is so loved ❤
Things change so much during the course of the first year or two, I feel like I have been constantly readjusting my life depending on what stage we've been at. I started doing freelance work so I could be flexible with my time and overall it's been nice to still do things I enjoy and to be able to interact with other adults. All my work is during naptime, so I don't have to miss out on any of the awake time with my son.
I seldom make a comment for someone elses baby. In this case I can't help myself. Neo is adorable. Such big eyes! Full of curiousity!
I don't remember, "losing an identity". Becoming a mother ADDED to my list!
My kids are 10 and 13 and I’m only JUST finding myself again. My advice, don’t overthink it and enjoy the ride. Now my kids are this age it feels like it’s almost over! It goes fast and finding ways to refill your cup is vital but often elusive! It’s a completely new paradigm. I think acceptance is crucial. This is the new you! Fragmented, fractured and always torn but this messiness is what it’s all about!
Wishing you all the love and blessings from this beautiful universe 🤍✨
Hi!! You are so on the right track!
I absolutely loved the discovery phase. Its so fun to watch their reactions to new things. My boy is all grown up so this is brings up fond memories
Trying to get back my identity has been the hardest thing I’ve tackled. I have an 11 month old daughter. And what helped was bringing her LITERALLY EVERYWHERE with me.
I am a rare plant collector and while I was pregnant, I lost my passion for it. But since her birth, she has truly opened up my heart up to it again.
But I will say, making time to get away for yourself will also help. Being with friends (without baby), exploring your hobbies, SOCIALIZING, have all really helped me get back to me❤
Showering was one of my must haves postpartum! Did not skip a day, even if the little cried the whole time I was in there 🙃
Lovely family! Talk, talk and sing to your baby. There are so many reasons why you should.
Thank you so much for sharing, I just have so much respect and love for mums! You are incredible!❤
Louis: I love the cute way to talk to Neo and explain things to him.
I felt like I was being held hostage by the baby I loved dearly. It takes a very slow descend to feel more like yourself. You will never be the same, but you will always be his mom. It ain't easy!
Thank you for sharing! When he is 9 and 3/4 months you guys have to do a 'sorting onsie' video with him!!
Ummmm....your timeliness theory, OPENED MY EYES SOOO MUCH!!! My plan was not and never was layed out for me...the place that I should be in...is the place I am in....love it!!! ❤❤❤
When I had kids I realized the importance of going in the outdoors on a daily basis, breastfeeding made me realize I can't sit still lol, so I relied on running, and cycling and would bring the kids along with prams, etc even carried them on a front pack when brushing my horse and stuff The things I did as a kid I wanted to do even more once I had my own. I would spend heaps of time encouraging my kids to draw and one is now going to art school, and another does music (dad is a musician and artisan), so it was a mixture of things we love, things we wanted to be good at when we were kids and things that naturally came along that our kids are now into. Dance partying is the best kid activity, totally. Neo is the cutest baby ever! Kia kaha for your self reflection, it is a journey and you are an amazing mother.
Hey Raya- My daughter is 3 and I am still in the process of figuring out this new me! It probably is taking me awhile due to the pandemic and life just changing a lot for all of us. Anywho...I've just now started to get back to a regular yoga practice and finding my creative outlet. It has taken a lot of trial and error and every stage of raising a child brings new joys and challenges. I love your viewpoint on being open to the experience and learning as you go! I honestly think that is what helps keep one sane as a parent because you will never have all the answers, kids grow up so fast!
Sending love to your beautiful family!
I agree don’t lose yourself, but also don’t stress over it, they’re only little babies for such a short amount of time compared to our life span that first year is no sacrifice! There’s plenty of time in the future to find new hobbies, for now enjoy your little baby!!
I'm a mom of two girls aged 7 and 11. I totally identify with the loss of self. I don't think I've totally come around to a final version of me post kids. I think I'm evolving as they evolve. Newborn is such a different stage then toddler or school age and now I have middle school to learn about. I also recently picked up watercolor! And you guys should absolutely narrate every day tasks. It helps build vocabulary just like reading books! ❤❤❤
Raya - I think every mum goes through exactly how you feel! My first bub - I was desperate to go back to my job and get a taste of the old me and get out of the brain fog of first time mum. I think a lot of it was due to covid lockdowns and feeling isolated. Once I was back at work, I felt so much better. My first is now 3 yrs old and my second is 7 months and I feel so much more into the mum groove and actually love this new phase as a mum of two boys.
Fun fact, in Costa Rica, traditionally babies were sometimes fed Coffee in their bottle. That is less and less common now, but back in the day it was quite common.
Neo is so adorable! You both are great parents! So glad your both adjusting to your new life so well!
I have definitely gone through identity crisis especially at first but I think as the baby becomes more independent you do end up having a bit more time for self care. I now have a 2.5 year old toddler and he can be pretty full on some days but it’s the most beautiful journey overall. I’d say I still struggle with it sometimes especially as none of my friends have kids yet so it’s hard to figure out how to be social and motherhood. On a positive note I have found new things I love which I get to enjoy with my son like roller skating when he’s on his scooter or having dance parties with him every night! You deffo get to experience a lot of things through their eyes which so so great and tap into your inner child xx
I’ve been a mom since the 1st of june too and I’m so lost about what I want to do with my life 😅 especially with my job. Becoming a mom changed everything. So I do understand your feeling. I’m thinking to do a skill assessment. Also I need to prioritize what I do with my free time 😂 it won’t be the same than in the past. For sure my kid is now my priority number one. Last thinking I have also is the following: I’m 30 and I don’t regret to have waited that age to have a kid. I’m not nostalgic about my “past” life but now that I have a kid a appreciate even more the years I lived before: the travels, the parties, all my experiences 🙏🏼 and I can now even more appreciate my new life knowing I lived all I wanted to live before
It took me 18 months to start feeling like myself again after our little boy was born. He has just turned 2 and we have travelled for almost his whole life so far but are now residing back in the UK. I found the transition to motherhood HARD. I didn't have a village and I've never had mum friends so you can imagine it's not been easy but having a supportive husband and family (albeit far away) helped !
I’m a “retired stay at home mom” my 2 boys are in their early 20’s…. Finding hobbies and connections are super important, so good for you for figuring that out early. There is a you tube channel Shayda Campbell and she demonstrates how to do really sweet doodles and watercolors. I like to take my best little doodles and cut them into note cards to send to a friend and say hello! Thanks for sharing and you are a beautiful family.
I really appreciate your part about time it makes great sense.
Just struggled through finding myself again, I have carved out time to craft in my free time. DIY house projects keep me busy and I always feel better afterwards!
The Vurger co is my favourite place here and their vegan shakes AAAAAAAREEE AMAZING!
Thank you for the video!!
My only daughter is 2 and I think I found myself again when she was around 1,5 years old. I started crocheting, also watercolouring ... It sometimes takes time but now I feel I'm at where I should be.
Wishing that you find yourself, your hobbies and everything!!!
I think “mom” became my identity for a while. I couldn’t think past wanting to be with her. However, a few years in my personal interests and passions were reignited and I actually went back to school. I plan to apply to grad school at the end of the year. I think it helped to just lean in to motherhood how I could and for as long as I could. This path happened to me naturally and I also didn’t feel like I missed out on those precious baby moments with her.
My kids are in their early 20s, and I’ve found that every new stage in their lives has triggered a new development in my own sense of self. Different times in the kids’ development have varying paces to daily life, and being tuned into them and their needs just naturally changes your speed of thought, the way your patience is functioning, your energy levels, etc. For example, Neo is a human puzzle right now, so after a day of trying to decipher what he’s into, what he needs, what skills he’s gaining, what could be a danger to him, etc., your brain is probably all puzzled out. But you are also really strengthening your “mental muscles” for sitting and observing, noting small details, etc., so a hobby like painting will probably build on that increased strength in those areas.
The constant change is a lot at times, and it’s a journey and then some, but it’s also a beautiful thing to find new aspects of yourself and your interests. I think the main thing is to just be open to that journey and try to look for the new discoveries rather than fret too much over the passing of the phases you are leaving behind. And you may not be leaving them behind for good, either. I’ve definitely set habits and hobbies aside at times only to find that a few years down the line they are just the thing for me once again.
Being parents, I guess is challenging ALL THE time ! My son is ALREADY 14. Time flies and challenges change, but as time goes by, we change and do our best to do everything we can so our kid can keep on being happy. It’s often difficult and I always worry, but I’m lucky that my husband is helping me to keep calm. We both made mistakes, but that’s ok. We do our best ! There is no school of parenting.
Just do our best is already a lot !
💖💖💖
Love witnessing you guys step into parenthood! My little guy is almost 2y, but I still remember those early months with a newborn, and all of the exciting milestones! I definitely felt this huge loss of identity. Motherhood was all-consuming for me (in the best way), and as my son got older I found it difficult at first to separate my time, my focus and my identity with him. The more I made time to enjoy the hobbies I had before, as well as make space to try new ones, the more I felt myself coming back into my own.
Blessed family🇧🇬👏👏
I thought I had all the experience in the world to be a good mother. I had worked in childcare, as a nanny, and took care of all my nieces and nephews all the time. I took all the classes. But nothing can fully prepare you for motherhood. The one thing that got me was the loss of identity, but also the fact that it was all day every day without breaks. I know that sounds stupid to say, but it almost gave me a panic attack, knowing that I couldn’t do anything on my own anymore. Once I sort of mourned my past self and came into this whole new life of motherhood, it got easier. You have to let yourself feel all those valid feelings because it doesn’t mean you love your son any less. You aren’t just caring for a child. You are losing your past self and becoming a new one and that takes time and Grace.
I have experienced the same thing and still do often. I’m glad you took time to go on an adventure and also do a creative outlet/take time for yourself as well. Whatever activity you do I feel like it just needs to be simple but still rewarding, which water color is nice for that! I feel like instruments are nice to because you can fiddle with them and be creative. I also ove friendship and fellowship, and I honestly use RUclips to have a mama fellowship when other moms or myself are too busy. But I try to set up play dates and try to get outside. Showers, vitamin B, vitamin D, caffeine, time for myself, fellowship in person and virtually, being outside and everyone now and then do a personal activity and then date nights are THE BEST!!!! So a lot you have already said!
Mum of two age 8 and 6 first year with my son was beautiful and so hard . My body felt not mine breastfeeding was so hard but every month its a new learning experience finding a mom group thats honest and kind helps i have zero regret for being a attachment parent my kids come to me for safety and comfort. Its beautiful and very hard
That rubber duck shop is great! They have an amazing Springsteen one🕺😎
Nothing better than having first baby ❤❤ Enjoy every minute ❤ with more babies to come it will be totally different 😊
I am on the other side of identity issues. My last child left home in the Spring and I am now trying to rediscover who I am. I have had a child in the house for 30 years so you tend to lose yourself in Motherhood.
My fave couple thank u I needed this today please keep my family in prayer my nephew committed suicide last week .love yall so much
Prayers to you and your family.
I loved watching louis read picture books to Neo. I love a good declutter and get rid of things easily but when my youngest was ready to let go of her picture books i had a little cry. Reading them all to my 3 was so special 😍
Also my kids are 18, 11 and 8 and I'm still trying to find something to do for me 😂
Now he looks like Mommy! Every post he changes. He is ADORABLE!!
you make me smile, love your fam cheers till next time my friends
Oh my gosh, you guys are doing Amazing!!!! I love the bunting in your place....and around town, makes me happy, I need to put that in my place, to help with depression. You guys are doing awesome as parents...KEEP IT UP!!!
You’re such a beautiful mom Raya
Good on you Raya for documenting what you have been through, so that other young mums can see they aren't alone, back in my day there wasn't such a thing as RUclips, not even the internet. Totally agree with living in the moment, if you are thinking ahead then it causes a sense of anxiety, keep up the good work and look forward at what young Mums do these days.
I totally resonate with what you are saying. The identity shift my partner and I experience is something we did not expect to be so intense and to be honest took quite some time to adjust. Thank you for sharing it’s important to share that message so people do not feel so alone. It’s a beautiful time with new babe but can be very lonely as well. ❤ Sending you guys well wishes
Love Louis' baby talk voice!
I think Louis may have found his calling as the new Mr Rogers ❤❤. Definitely consider a channel for kids because you two are so talented and knowledgeable with so much positivity to share with the young ones 🥰
I have 3 years and 3 month old girl, now is all OK, but she had some muscle and brain issues so lot of doctors appointments treatments, she still sleeps with me in bed (she started sleeping full. night when she was three years old - before it was 5 to - 10 times waking and I am glad that this changed) and she can be demanding in day, but I love her and time with her, and I am still searching for what is worth it to invest my time into and not to be with her. Still searching for new ME. And I feel most of the time OK by not knowing Eckhart Tolle was a big inspiration in this. So yes still most of the time lost who AM I.
And THANK YOU for sharing especially the idea about time. It gives sense and also helps wit accepting present moment more fully. Thank you for the video and all the best to your family.
It’s called growing up…you do it because you have to and want to..it’s always going to be new…for his whole journey, you’ll be learning just like any parent. But very important for a little me time…