New Trump Bible Combines the Constitution, Pledge of Allegiance and Declaration of Independence

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  • Опубликовано: 8 май 2024
  • Seth addresses the collapse of the Francis Scott Key Bridge, Biden making a joke about his age and more in his monologue for Wednesday, March 27, before taking a closer look at a desperate Donald Trump resorting to selling Trump-branded bibles as he drowns in legal bills.
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    New Trump Bible Combines the Constitution, Pledge of Allegiance and Declaration of Independence - Late Night with Seth Meyers
    • New Trump Bible Combin...
    Late Night with Seth Meyers
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Комментарии • 1,2 тыс.

  • @tomblah
    @tomblah Месяц назад +153

    1:08 "A fortune made by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a deadly snare" - Proverbs 21:6

    • @phylis3917
      @phylis3917 Месяц назад +4

      Elegant.

    • @BenedictMHolland
      @BenedictMHolland Месяц назад +4

      That is one more passage than Trump has read.

    • @ilovecockatoos
      @ilovecockatoos Месяц назад +1

      ❤ the truth

    • @marknugent9851
      @marknugent9851 Месяц назад

      '"I go to church and I love God and I love my church," Trump boldly pronounced but in an interview on Bloomberg TV's "With All Due Respect." But he said the Bible was too personal to him to "get into specifics."
      "The Bible means a lot to me, but I don't want to get into specifics," Trump told Bloomberg’s Mark Halperin, refusing to list one or two favorite verses.
      Pressed again, Trump said the Bible was simply too personal to discuss publicly: "I wouldn't want to get into it because to me that's very personal. You know, when I talk about the Bible, it's very personal, so I don't want to get into verses."
      John Heilemann, searching for a workaround, then asked Trump if he considered himself "an Old Testament guy or a New Testament guy."
      "Probably equal," Trump answered matter-of-factly, explaining his inability to select just one: "The whole Bible is just incredible.”'
      ( www.salon.com/2015/08/27/watch_donald_trump_refuse_to_name_any_verses_in_his_favorite_book_the_bible/ )
      I saw that clip of live TV at the time.
      'There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him:
      17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood,
      18 a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil,
      19 a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.'
      -Proverbs 6:16-19
      I'm autistic and struggle, face to face, with social cues and even I can't help but see he's a such a clear and obvious liar.
      Yours, a devout atheist.

    • @bertrandsheffer3958
      @bertrandsheffer3958 16 дней назад

      Amen!

  • @alfiegrace
    @alfiegrace Месяц назад +29

    “Make America pray again.” We have been praying for tfg to shut up and go away for eight years.

  • @kjamison5951
    @kjamison5951 Месяц назад +356

    “All Americans need a Bible in their home and I have many.”
    “Bibles?”
    “No, homes.”

    • @mv80401
      @mv80401 Месяц назад

      The bible is no good book, take a look at skepticsannotatedbible if you need convincing. Also, the definite singular article is misplaced, it's a variable collection of texts, typically mistranslated and in endless editions curated by sectarian groups to fit their world view. Don't expect much.

    • @michaelrmurphy2734
      @michaelrmurphy2734 Месяц назад +22

      And he does NOT own either of them!

    • @alanbeckett4
      @alanbeckett4 Месяц назад

      Maybe he's counting all the Bibles the Gideon's left in his hotel? "I make use of everything our guests leave behind; Clothes hangars, pizza boxes, Bibles, hookers"

    • @lyricessence
      @lyricessence Месяц назад +16

      That's exactly what he meant. He also said/meant, "We need to make America prey again."

    • @kellyfehr5240
      @kellyfehr5240 Месяц назад +7

      Oh the jokes!
      "did he just steal every bible he ever swore on"
      "could he sell as many as he's sworn on?"

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage Месяц назад +168

    "Pray with him, as he preys upon you."
    -A ironic typo that almost certainly appears in that bible.

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад +2

      👴🏻🥃 YOGA IS CRAP

    • @thomasw.5344
      @thomasw.5344 Месяц назад

      I wonder if they left all the weird raunchy stuff in it, like that part where Saul commands David to collect 100 foreskins from the Philistines and the old over-achiever proudly returns with 200 foreskins. I just checked my King James Bible to be sure. Without kinky sex and gruesome violence, the Bible would probably fit on a single page after all....

    • @seraph8
      @seraph8 Месяц назад

      @@paulyricca3881 Are you on bath salts? Your nonsense comments are plastered up and down this comment section.

    • @avianna7738
      @avianna7738 Месяц назад

      Nah, that’s way more actual truth than Trump can survive without spontaneously bursting into flames.

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage Месяц назад +152

    I'm willing to bet that there is no cross on that bible because every time they showed it to Donnie for approval, he asked them to 'Capitalize the 't', and emboss it in gold'.

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      🍉🍔💥🔥🍗🛋🛏🗣💤👗👚🌍📺🦍🚪⬅️ YOUR ROOM

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      👴🏻🥃 ROBERT KENNEDY JR AND AARON ROGERS IN 24

    • @ericminch
      @ericminch Месяц назад +9

      @@paulyricca3881 I thought that was Kiefer Sutherland's show.
      And stop shouting.

    • @chiguireespacialespecial
      @chiguireespacialespecial Месяц назад +4

      @@ericminch Jackal´s unleashed

    • @sunshine3914
      @sunshine3914 Месяц назад +6

      @@paulyricca3881You’re misinformed. Arron isn’t his chosen running mate.

  • @maggiefranks6849
    @maggiefranks6849 Месяц назад +55

    Remember when Dan Quayle misspelled 'potato' and it ruined his career?

    • @joachimschoder
      @joachimschoder Месяц назад +14

      This was so many covefes ago.

    • @catseye1009
      @catseye1009 Месяц назад +5

      Ah, that was a different time. Joke from that era: “It is Mickey Mouse’s Birthday and he says he wants a Dan Quayle watch”

    • @maggiefranks6849
      @maggiefranks6849 Месяц назад

      @@catseye1009 😂

    • @chiguireespacialespecial
      @chiguireespacialespecial Месяц назад

      @@catseye1009 I thougt of Minnie asking Micky if he and Daisy to keep it pg

  • @paddyjenkins8458
    @paddyjenkins8458 Месяц назад +51

    Seth, thank you, you have hit the nail on the head with this monologue.

  • @pz6316
    @pz6316 Месяц назад +38

    I understand there's a special edition of the bible where you get some classified documents

    • @michaelccozens
      @michaelccozens Месяц назад +1

      Given how 45 keeps top-secret documents, when he's not showing them off like Pokemon cards to impress some rando Australian billionaire with the relative capabilities of US and Russian nuclear boomer subs, I'd guess you'd be more likely to find them wadded-up around the book in place of packing peanuts.

  • @theowl3756
    @theowl3756 Месяц назад +12

    Don the Con selling Bible is like a Serial Killer selling Life Insurance.

  • @christineherrmann205
    @christineherrmann205 Месяц назад +167

    Now the biggest mystery in my life is how Trump filmed that commercial without being struck by lightning. Uh, God, if you're there... the dude golfs a lot.

    • @scarletspidernz
      @scarletspidernz Месяц назад +17

      Devil was the Producer, sent a demon to shield him.
      Need the Winchester Bro's to go investigate

    • @hannahcallow6374
      @hannahcallow6374 Месяц назад +2

      Proof of life on god

    • @mm-yt8sf
      @mm-yt8sf Месяц назад

      the same reason televangelists who raise funds for private jets aren't struck by lightning. it's all a scam.

    • @trm4life
      @trm4life Месяц назад +4


      Love this!

    • @mancuniangamecat8288
      @mancuniangamecat8288 Месяц назад +15

      Trump plays golf while America burns.

  • @ThereIsNeverEnough
    @ThereIsNeverEnough Месяц назад +46

    well.. at least FL libraries will have a book now...

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      🥃👴🏻 YOGA IS CRAP

    • @angrysaxman2246
      @angrysaxman2246 Месяц назад +3

      Yeah exactly the one book nobody wants or needs

    • @thomasw.5344
      @thomasw.5344 Месяц назад +4

      Well, I'm not sure if you can call it a book, the indictment is less than 50 pages .... OH, now I see what you mean 🤣

    • @michaelccozens
      @michaelccozens Месяц назад +1

      It's a good joke, but DeSantis's "Don't Say Gay" bill was so vague that even Bibles and dictionaries were pulled.

    • @bethschreck4599
      @bethschreck4599 Месяц назад +1

      wanna bet?

  • @Elwaves2925
    @Elwaves2925 Месяц назад +38

    Trump Bible: "In the beginning there was nothing. So with a small loan from my father, I created something. That something was great, the many people who actually created it told me, with tears in their eyes, that it was great. Nobody had ever seen anything so great."

  • @user-sv9nb8ky2t
    @user-sv9nb8ky2t Месяц назад +28

    "GET YA BIBLE HERE! TRUMP BIBLE! GOLD SNEAKERS, GET YA GOLD SNEAKERS! SURRENDER SUIT, PIECE OF SURRENDER SUIT HERE" - vendor at a trump rally

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      👴🏻🥃 SOOO HOWS YO MOTHER DOIN?

  • @jljordan1
    @jljordan1 Месяц назад +45

    As a nurse I stopped asking who the current president is as a part of my neuro assessment after I had a patient get visibly angered, get out of bed and piss all over the hospital room screaming “Donald TRUMP is MY PRESIDENT, WHOOO!”
    You know who had to clean that up? Me. The doctor who I called after that asked me why I was brothering him about it. 🤬

    • @AndreaALenze
      @AndreaALenze Месяц назад

      I’m also a nurse. I stopped asking “who’s the president” during the Obama administration when a racist jerk patient answered “that f***** (racial slur)” I never asked that question again but I overhear my colleagues when they do. It got soooo much worse after the big orange turd got elected.

    • @Quaker-tc8ue
      @Quaker-tc8ue Месяц назад +9

      My sympathies.

    • @westwardHo-
      @westwardHo- Месяц назад +3

      You must work in a mental institution or serious rehab?

    • @catseye1009
      @catseye1009 Месяц назад +1

      Wow, just WOW!

    • @michaelccozens
      @michaelccozens Месяц назад

      @@westwardHo- I mean, that's where Cult45 *should* be, but they're out here pissing on everything to claim it for 45 like rabid dogs if they so much as see 3 Skittles in rainbow-order.

  • @npzabov
    @npzabov Месяц назад +151

    I remember that guy talking about "two Corinthians." You've gotta be the blindest person on earth to actually think that he has ever opened a Bible in his life

    • @russellmiles2861
      @russellmiles2861 Месяц назад +14

      To be frank; most Christians in the USA couldn't name more than 4 or 5 of the diciples and they'd include Mark.
      Trump's the model of folk in the USA.
      2 Corinthians 10:10

    • @weredoomed113
      @weredoomed113 Месяц назад

      For most "christians" in America, being "christian" simply means "being white and having a victimhood complex"

    • @TheNzFox
      @TheNzFox Месяц назад +5

      and the only reason he knew that was because it was on the side of the building he was speaking in so he saw in while entering

    • @williamstroud5449
      @williamstroud5449 Месяц назад +5

      He would burst in flames

    • @bookie5667
      @bookie5667 Месяц назад +7

      ​@@williamstroud5449I don't think fire wants the negative press of an association with Trump.

  • @Blakblooded
    @Blakblooded Месяц назад +481

    The Constitution, Pledge of Allegiance and Declaration of Independence...
    What are 3 things trump has never read and doesn't understand.

    • @MarcKloos
      @MarcKloos Месяц назад +67

      4 things - also the Bible

    • @hannahcallow6374
      @hannahcallow6374 Месяц назад +26

      King James bible; traditional American - being told what to think by an English king 🤨

    • @PhilLesh69
      @PhilLesh69 Месяц назад

      Those three things are what scoundrels use to confuse superstitious and uneducated people.

    • @quakerninja
      @quakerninja Месяц назад +35

      He should also add his wedding vows so he can have the all in one oath breaking super book

    • @mancuniangamecat8288
      @mancuniangamecat8288 Месяц назад +20

      He also doesn't understand what confidential means.

  • @PhilLesh69
    @PhilLesh69 Месяц назад +40

    I joked way back in 2019 that trump thinks the lyrics to 'my country tis of thee' are really "my country tis of me. Sweet land is all for me. Of me I sing. Land where my dollars lie, land where my lies also fly."

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      🥃👴🏻 YOURE CORNY

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      👴🏻🥃 LIZZO AND 21 SAVAGE

    • @JohnDoe-jh5yr
      @JohnDoe-jh5yr Месяц назад +6

      He still sings god save the king… to himself.

  • @lynnejamieson2063
    @lynnejamieson2063 Месяц назад +26

    “These conveniently handed down in the middle of an election” I’m sorry, but is there a time when the US isn’t in the middle of an election? It seems to me that the campaigning starts the moment the polls close.

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      👴🏻🥃 AWW SHUT UP

    • @BradloRaul
      @BradloRaul Месяц назад +6

      @@paulyricca3881keep pathetically trying to troll! It’s hilarious! 😂

  • @JB-lp9xr
    @JB-lp9xr Месяц назад +410

    I am shocked that Trump didn’t combine the Bible with Mein Kampf. Seems more fitting for him.

    • @PhilLesh69
      @PhilLesh69 Месяц назад +15

      That's like sprinkling keif on your weed when you roll a joint. You've got the bible, and then you want to sprinkle a concentrated, filtered, supercharged version of the bible on top.

    • @Groffili
      @Groffili Месяц назад

      In all fairness: Trump didn't do anything here. This Bible edition seems to have been around for quite some time (and not very well received), and this new endeavor is just an advertising campaign. Trump does what Trump always does: sell himself.
      And you have to admit: it's quite the clever grift. Take some texts that don't cost you anything, stick them in a cheaply produced but gaudy looking book, get a "conservative" religious and totally trustworthy hero to tell you it's the only edition among a million of a public-domain text that he endorses, and sell it for at least three times what it is worth, because you can be certain the people stupid enough to buy it won't do it for its contents.
      Sometimes I regret having a conscience. I could use the money.

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      👴🏻🥃 HELP LEO VARADKA BANISHED THE CROWN

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      @@PhilLesh69👴🏻🥃 HELP LEO VARADKA BANISHED THE CROWN

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      👴🏻🥃 HELP LEO VARADKA BANISHED THE CROWN

  • @LividImp
    @LividImp Месяц назад +237

    I support this combo Bible, Constitution, Declaration of Independence. Maybe now Trumpsters will actually finally read them. Man are they going to be shocked.

    • @markmac2206
      @markmac2206 Месяц назад +40

      They can hold it close and say "we do not mix politics and religion. Wait a minute...".

    • @catsandcrafts171
      @catsandcrafts171 Месяц назад +40

      You assume they can read... I think most only listen to whatever twaddle their extremist preacher shouts at them every Sunday.

    • @PhilLesh69
      @PhilLesh69 Месяц назад +7

      It's such a worn out corporate profit making shortcut. Bask in Robbuns, Dunkin Donuts and Taco Bell tried to open stores where you could order from all three franchises in one place. You can probably still find a few at truck stops and in economically depressed parts of town.

    • @wintersbabyy
      @wintersbabyy Месяц назад +15

      None of them are interested in any of these.

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад +1

      👴🏻🥃 VOTE FOR BIG HAWK AND PHILLY DOM IN 24

  • @alanbarnett328
    @alanbarnett328 Месяц назад +11

    I love that you've started uploading the closer looks connected to the monologue!

  • @annerigby4400
    @annerigby4400 Месяц назад +12

    Trump selling bibles? hahahahaha! trump talking about praying, hahahahahahaha! This is truly hilarious.

  • @keenanmccracken6758
    @keenanmccracken6758 Месяц назад +8

    Thank you for posting both segments together. Making late night grest again

  • @filmcrit
    @filmcrit Месяц назад +11

    So, now Trump wants to keep the ACA? I thought we were waiting for his new healthcare plan?!

  • @fredfred2809
    @fredfred2809 Месяц назад +18

    Seperation of church and state. The founding fathers intended this took keep tyranny from happening.

  • @SpaceForceCommander
    @SpaceForceCommander Месяц назад +39

    Wouldn’t surprise me if Ttump’s Bible is spelled “Bibble”.

    • @westwardHo-
      @westwardHo- Месяц назад +4

      Or Buybel

    • @user-wl1pf7xc6q
      @user-wl1pf7xc6q Месяц назад +2

      Kif! Go get me my Bibble, the documents to buy Greenland, Kim Jong Un's love letters, Rudy's report on Ukraine, and about 10 highly classified documents from the ballroom! I've got a lady to impress.
      Kif: *sighs*

    • @michaelccozens
      @michaelccozens Месяц назад +1

      Between the two of them, I'd bet 45 has less of a grip on Scripture than Master Shake.

  • @wrongwayconway
    @wrongwayconway Месяц назад +23

    Your Covid posts kept me sane during the Pandemic. I work in an ICU and I so looked forward to each of your videos (and still do).

  • @jcoopes5604
    @jcoopes5604 Месяц назад +15

    Never again!
    Vote 🗳️ blue people!

  • @thehellyousay
    @thehellyousay Месяц назад +45

    on behalf of genuine trolls everywhere, TED CRUZ IS NOT A TROLL! HE"S A KNOBGOBLIN, DAMMIT!

  • @thepolarphantasm2319
    @thepolarphantasm2319 Месяц назад +30

    I don't care if it's just me, I love Stoner Biden.
    Please give that character a cartoon show where MTG is constantly trying to impeach him and failing due to wacky coincidence

    • @sujimtangerines
      @sujimtangerines Месяц назад +6

      I'd 100% watch that.

    • @FrankBenlin
      @FrankBenlin Месяц назад +1

      MTGilligan.

    • @thepolarphantasm2319
      @thepolarphantasm2319 Месяц назад

      I just realized this idea is basically just Rocky & Bullwinkle and I like it exponentially more with Kamala & Dark Brandon as rocky and Bullwinkle
      Also give Pete Buttigeig a talking dog sidekick so we have a kickass Mr Peabody & Sherman in there... is it too on the nose to use Boris Epstein as Boris?
      Edit: Jordan Peele would likely be down to voice ol' Barry O'Bombs some for this, and if Stoned Biden doesn't have a magical negro pal it's gonna be unrealistic

    • @sujimtangerines
      @sujimtangerines Месяц назад

      @@thepolarphantasm2319 Dude if Boris is Boris, then Melania as Natasha is the "too on the nose" casting but I can't find any fault in it.
      There's an AI voice animated show I hear my boyfriend watch of Barry, Brandon, Cheeto & I think Little Rocket Man that sounds hilarious... If someone can make that, why can't we have the R&B reboot?

    • @Ducky69247
      @Ducky69247 Месяц назад +2

      Nah, that would require acknowledging MTG.

  • @princessmaly
    @princessmaly Месяц назад +19

    Where my "that manatee joke was Scollins, wasn't it?" crew at?

    • @icantollie
      @icantollie Месяц назад

      We're quiet in the back, fondly reminiscing about his give them some props joke that should have made the cut for the monologue, not relegated to _Surprise Inspection_

  • @jennymunday7913
    @jennymunday7913 Месяц назад +3

    Hearing his crew laughing at his jokes is the best.

  • @nth.aurora
    @nth.aurora Месяц назад +12

    correction: that's a lighter, not a match

  • @donhoverson6348
    @donhoverson6348 Месяц назад +11

    Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. Lucius Annaeus Seneca.

  • @larrymosher5045
    @larrymosher5045 Месяц назад +34

    The Red Lobster Manatee joke was solid.Especially when dipped in butter.

    • @jillians7112
      @jillians7112 Месяц назад +3

      I adore manatees (living in Florida), but even i have to admit that was a funny bit....

    • @jenniferjohnson2712
      @jenniferjohnson2712 Месяц назад +2

      I haven't even finished this clip yet, paused to see the comments on the manatee joke. It took me out. 😂 I moghtve been thinking some jackal thoughts, but the love for Seth is too strong

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад +1

      🥃👴🏻 HAPPY ST PATTYS DAY BRING SOME JAMESON IRISH WHISKEY

    • @JohnDoe-jh5yr
      @JohnDoe-jh5yr Месяц назад +1

      I cracked up in public.

  • @JoeNarbaiz
    @JoeNarbaiz Месяц назад +27

    Saying "45th favorite president" is nothing to brag about but I can imagine Trump saying something like that. 🤔😉

  • @Sylfa
    @Sylfa Месяц назад +7

    You know the first commandment will have "trump" written in sharpie over "me."

  • @MeissnerEffect
    @MeissnerEffect Месяц назад +12

    Brilliant as always 😊. Thanks for keeping us sane ❤️

  • @dafttool
    @dafttool Месяц назад +70

    The Separation of Church and State with a bookmark was a good joke. It wasn’t funny, but it’s a good joke nonetheless.

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      👴🏻🥃 HELP LEO VARADKA BANISHED THE CROWN

  • @markmac2206
    @markmac2206 Месяц назад +24

    We were all in the attic Seth. Arrrrrrgh

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад +1

      🥃👴🏻 NOT ME I WAS IN MY PUB IN GOOD OLDE IRELAND

    • @chiguireespacialespecial
      @chiguireespacialespecial Месяц назад

      @@paulyricca3881 no you are building a bridge for free Scot

  • @sujimtangerines
    @sujimtangerines Месяц назад +28

    If he really wanted to hang a lampshade on the age issue, he should have told that joke as, "Four Score and a single year ago...:

    • @icantollie
      @icantollie Месяц назад

      That's how Biden should jokingly describe his age, in multiples of scores of years lol

  • @danvanmuizenberg6650
    @danvanmuizenberg6650 Месяц назад +13

    To be fair I like the checklist style Ten Commandments, for when the seven deadly sins are passé

  • @dafttool
    @dafttool Месяц назад +14

    Trump couldn’t tell you the difference between The Old & New Testaments, except to say one was old & the other new.

  • @JLee-rt6ve
    @JLee-rt6ve Месяц назад +8

    The Gideons: No wonder our IPO flopped. We were giving them away for free!

  • @seraphonica
    @seraphonica Месяц назад +5

    "disinformates and misinformates": when you're having a twitter breakdown but you can't think of the word "lies"

  • @hrma6313
    @hrma6313 Месяц назад +8

    Somebody should check that parts of the Bible, the Constitution, Declaration and Pledge are not edited or tampered to suit him. (14. amendment conveniently missing etc. Or pages glued together.)

    • @joachimschoder
      @joachimschoder Месяц назад +1

      You assume that anybody would actually open the book to read any of it. It only exists for pure "virtue" signaling.

  • @francescaa8331
    @francescaa8331 Месяц назад +13

    The Patriot Plunger! Wow! 😮

  • @S.Shea2432
    @S.Shea2432 Месяц назад +42

    The part about Trump winning the New Jersey Lottery. 🤣🤣

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      👴🏻🥃 SOOO HOWS YO MOTHER DOIN?

    • @vickiross1025
      @vickiross1025 Месяц назад +1

      😊😅😂

    • @michaelrmurphy2734
      @michaelrmurphy2734 Месяц назад +3

      His only hope!

    • @icantollie
      @icantollie Месяц назад

      I mean he just won a reduction on his bond from $464 million down to $175 million, plus he got a ten-day extension, plus they lifted his ban from doing business in New York, sounds like he won the lottery to me

    • @icantollie
      @icantollie Месяц назад

      Plus his social media company just went public, increasing his net worth overnight by $7 billion, who needs a lottery with that kind of luck lol

  • @drewbola
    @drewbola Месяц назад +25

    If only his followers could understand any of the messages in any of those documents they were buying. I would love to get these things into the hands of a Trump supporter who could critically think about the meaning of these documents.

    • @teunw7387
      @teunw7387 Месяц назад +9

      if they could critically think they wouldn't have been Trump supporters

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      🥃👴🏻AWW SHUT UP

    • @ReadABookAndLearn
      @ReadABookAndLearn Месяц назад +4

      @@teunw7387exactly. If they had the reading comprehension skills to understand the moral code and guidelines for a free and just society laid out within those pages, and cared enough to actually read them, there’s no way they would be Trump supporters. Anyone who genuinely cares about the values of our constitution and amendments wouldn’t support Trump.

  • @vinniediesel1369
    @vinniediesel1369 Месяц назад +16

    "ME-MAW!?!?" ...

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈⬅️CURTIS SLIWAS CATS IN 24

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад +2

      👴🏻🥃AWW SHUT UP

    • @chiguireespacialespecial
      @chiguireespacialespecial Месяц назад

      @@paulyricca3881 so who you working for?

  • @HelynnHeels
    @HelynnHeels Месяц назад +32

    The plunger had me choking, here, dude.

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈⬅️ CURTIS SLIWAS CATS

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      👴🏻🥃 SOOO HOWS YO MOTHER DOIN?

    • @MisteRRYouTuby
      @MisteRRYouTuby Месяц назад +2

      And the *SOUND EFFECT!!!*

  • @Sunny-ju1lr
    @Sunny-ju1lr Месяц назад +31

    Trump selling Bibles now, wtf? 🤣🤣🤣. Also a quick Google search of "bible salesman" brought up bible salesman porn (which I did not know was a thing), so maybe that's where he got the idea from lmao.

    • @chiguireespacialespecial
      @chiguireespacialespecial Месяц назад +2

      lol i wont search that, thanks for being the guinea pig.

    • @Sunny-ju1lr
      @Sunny-ju1lr Месяц назад +2

      @@chiguireespacialespecial 🤣🤣🤣 all I searched was "bible salesman" lmao

    • @chiguireespacialespecial
      @chiguireespacialespecial Месяц назад +2

      @@Sunny-ju1lr I has friend that used to sell encyclopedia good days lol

    • @michaelccozens
      @michaelccozens Месяц назад

      "Cancun" Cruz probably stumbled-upon it as he was publicly-liking incest porn and sent it over.

  • @Dermatillomaniac
    @Dermatillomaniac Месяц назад +6

    I missed Seth during his hiatus but it’s worth it for him to attend advanced impressions camp! 😂

  • @Arational
    @Arational Месяц назад +14

    Waiting for a copy of The Thorn Birds to appear on your desk.

    • @Myron90
      @Myron90 Месяц назад

      I found a copy of the thornbirds beneath my TV after watching an episode of corrections. It was slightly unsettling.

    • @chiguireespacialespecial
      @chiguireespacialespecial Месяц назад

      @@Myron90 Maybe you can be friends

    • @chiguireespacialespecial
      @chiguireespacialespecial Месяц назад

      but not with the wasps

  • @alexfattoruso
    @alexfattoruso Месяц назад +8

    "Manatee Appreciation Day at Red Lobster" is the one. Yes. The One. ❤

  • @solarmaker
    @solarmaker Месяц назад +6

    😂 The plunger should have had an American flag on the handle, that would have been perfect!

    • @roserose8283
      @roserose8283 Месяц назад +1

      With a little - gold - cross on the top
      🤓

  • @freetolook3727
    @freetolook3727 Месяц назад +15

    Gonna have to stump a lot of bibles to pay $454 million dollar bill.

    • @icantollie
      @icantollie Месяц назад

      Trump's social media company just went public, increasing his net worth by $7 billion overnight. He just needs to hang on for 6 months which is when he can legally sell his shares of stock in the company to cash all that in, hence the bible joint business venture

    • @chiguireespacialespecial
      @chiguireespacialespecial Месяц назад

      he is the most greatest fake leader he has a chance, Putin is examining consequences

  • @jenniferjohnson2712
    @jenniferjohnson2712 Месяц назад +11

    Omfg when he comes for the graphics team on the 100th correction...
    Wait, did they do this on purpose?
    That one match to the maga hat... its a goddamn set up. They crave the punishment. I bet they are undercover jackals.

    • @rheajoshi4162
      @rheajoshi4162 Месяц назад +1

      I suppose the real version might be too complicated. Also, (and this is Seth’s fault, not Graphics) that’s a lighter, not a match.

  • @lauraanne5175
    @lauraanne5175 Месяц назад +6

    Lee's bible from 2001 is $5.95 on amazon. How is no one covering this?

  • @baylinkdashyt
    @baylinkdashyt Месяц назад +3

    I've never been a Jackal before.
    THAT'S A FRIGGIN BIC LIGHTER, Seth!

  • @pennygleeson5029
    @pennygleeson5029 Месяц назад +9

    Your covid posts were the best - i loved them, they kept us all going for over a year ❤️❤️❤️

  • @Justusson
    @Justusson Месяц назад +140

    Why does Trump sell the Bible for $60.00?
    Selling it for $66.60 would be too obvious,.. 😈

    • @seanwilliams4087
      @seanwilliams4087 Месяц назад +28

      turn 59.99 upside-down
      ...
      66.6S ... the Beast and the Snake ... just sayin'

    • @sunshine3914
      @sunshine3914 Месяц назад +8

      $66.60 with tax

    • @TiggerToo27
      @TiggerToo27 Месяц назад +8

      You are frigging HILARIOUS! 🤡 Sometimes I think Trump IS in fact the Antichrist. [My apologies to all the other Antichrists out there. ]

    • @catseye1009
      @catseye1009 Месяц назад +2

      😂😂😂

    • @dudleyboycott7331
      @dudleyboycott7331 Месяц назад +1

      comes to that with tax and shipping

  • @DragunovJ
    @DragunovJ Месяц назад +5

    Probably want to check for rewritten sentences in all 4 of those...

  • @KA-wp6zo
    @KA-wp6zo Месяц назад +32

    Correction : That is a lighter not a match ;)

    • @sujimtangerines
      @sujimtangerines Месяц назад +5

      I hope that's on Corrections!

    • @jillians7112
      @jillians7112 Месяц назад +2

      Seriously?! Man, you sound like you're really fun at parties 😂🤣

    • @kaladan1890
      @kaladan1890 Месяц назад +5

      @@jillians7112 well yeah, considering he know the difference between a lighter and a match so he can light more than 1 thing at a party

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      👴🏻🥃 U NEED A GIRL AND A JOB

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      👴🏻🥃 THE GUARDIAN ANGELS IS A JOKE

  • @JulithaRyan
    @JulithaRyan Месяц назад +26

    Wow - 3 mins since upload! Love and light from Australia 💙🇦🇺🇺🇸

  • @einmensch4040
    @einmensch4040 Месяц назад +79

    Trump "selling" those valuable documents is pure obscenity.

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад +1

      🥃👴🏻 YOGA IS CRAP

    • @chiguireespacialespecial
      @chiguireespacialespecial Месяц назад +1

      @@paulyricca3881 sexy Yoga hmm

    • @dougmackenzie5976
      @dougmackenzie5976 Месяц назад +9

      Every one of these documents can be had for free, online. Only the idiots will spend their money on this new grift.

    • @tonygrowley5275
      @tonygrowley5275 Месяц назад

      MAGA trumpanzees aren't very bright..

  • @beckybowen196
    @beckybowen196 Месяц назад +6

    I think Trump should sell his own Monopoly game...he could call it "Bankrupt-opoly" And could feature extra "get out of jail free" cards he could sell to his followers for the low, low price of $45.45

  • @CAP198462
    @CAP198462 Месяц назад +5

    I guess Biden didn’t go with 9 squared, because he knew his audience was educated in the US and would think “9 isn’t square, it’s round”

  • @judgegixxer
    @judgegixxer Месяц назад +7

    The bible always has a home in a swindlers toolbox.

  • @vinniediesel1369
    @vinniediesel1369 Месяц назад +10

    GRIFT FROM GOD...the FAL$E PROFIT!

  • @susilemare198
    @susilemare198 Месяц назад +2

    Seth and your writers, thank you so much for the laugh out loud laughs. Really!

  • @petedog9581
    @petedog9581 Месяц назад +9

    LEFT IS THE GREST! That's how to informate. It is easy to tell which posts Trump actually posts himself compared to when his staff cleans them up.

  • @danwilcox8833
    @danwilcox8833 Месяц назад +6

    Maybe they can call it the King Trump Bible.

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      👴🏻🥃 YOURE A SPAMBOT

    • @dahn57
      @dahn57 Месяц назад +1

      @@paulyricca3881 Says the pathetic spamming troll

  • @user-ny5hj3pd6o
    @user-ny5hj3pd6o Месяц назад +5

    😂 Seth you are hilarious God bless you

  • @SpaceForceCommander
    @SpaceForceCommander Месяц назад +13

    New Yorkers will also have to put up with Trump blocking traffic for the many trips to his criminal trial. (They might be a bit more forgiving for those.)

    • @wendigo53
      @wendigo53 Месяц назад +1

      If only they had the trial at Trump Tower...

  • @RSBurgener
    @RSBurgener Месяц назад +6

    When I saw that bible ad, I laughed at first and then I got angry. Trump has no idea why this would be an insult to Americans who are the least bit civically-minded. The founding fathers were vehemently opposed to the mixing of church and state. It's the least American thing he has done since cozying up to our nemesis nation, Russia.

    • @joachimschoder
      @joachimschoder Месяц назад

      People who are civically-minded don't vote for Trump.

  • @Cancun771
    @Cancun771 Месяц назад +6

    That manatee joke reminds me to launch the Scollins Fan Club's Spring membership drive.

  • @wang771
    @wang771 Месяц назад +8

    Excellent example the Hannity for the Jethro Bodines, they haven't the slightest clue what freedom actually is🪗🎱

    • @dahn57
      @dahn57 Месяц назад

      For them, freedom means that THEY are free to do as they please (The rich) and give orders to the rest of us peasants to do as they say and think what we are told.

  • @vickiross1025
    @vickiross1025 Месяц назад +2

    I love your impressions, Seth.

  • @geekfreak618
    @geekfreak618 Месяц назад +2

    I thought you did such a good job going remote through the pandemic. You made the time easier with your mirthful ways.

  • @spockofdune8657
    @spockofdune8657 Месяц назад +9

    The reason he has lots of bibles at home is because each time he touches one it BURSTS in FLAMES ! ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      👴🏻🥃. THE GUARDIAN ANGELS IS A JOKE

    • @icantollie
      @icantollie Месяц назад

      Did you steal that joke from Stephen Colbert lol

  • @zotha
    @zotha Месяц назад +9

    He couldn't open the bible, they literally have a warning on their FAQ about the pages being sticky

    • @joachimschoder
      @joachimschoder Месяц назад

      I had to look this up. They say it is sticky due to "gold gilding" and added a link how to "break it in".
      But yeah, that book won't be used for studies.

  • @brinaldi81
    @brinaldi81 Месяц назад +4

    Ooo all the things the Founding fathers wanted to to intertwined

  • @nhokonhokopuala
    @nhokonhokopuala Месяц назад +5

    Ehehehehehehehehehehe
    Seth❤❤
    Thank you for making me laugh with such insane things😂😂😂
    Edit
    Also, also, Maya ❤❤❤❤😂😂😂

  • @lashendawest7509
    @lashendawest7509 Месяц назад +5

    Good morning seth meyers fans

    • @chiguireespacialespecial
      @chiguireespacialespecial Месяц назад

      never be a Jackal the indoctrination the hand cans, and the hazing is al just frogs and fog, and their is a whip weep leash, first the mushroom test

  • @C010rbl1nd
    @C010rbl1nd Месяц назад +7

    that joke about Bidens age, was funny as hell. Im half Bidens age and wish I was as smart as him. If I coud ask Biden 1 question. what do you do to make your wife smile. My only mission in life is to make my wife happy

    • @icantollie
      @icantollie Месяц назад

      Well for one he made a lot of effort to enable Dr. Biden to be able to continue teaching while being First Lady; that says a lot about how much he supports her and her professional career

  • @kaladan1890
    @kaladan1890 Месяц назад +2

    seth's buden high is on point and hilarious :D

  • @jennypulczinski7204
    @jennypulczinski7204 Месяц назад +3

    Bibles from the guest room drawers in Trump hotels with a pocket in the back stuffed with the Constitution, Pledge, Declaration, etc? Way to repurpose, Don!

  • @JusticeAlways
    @JusticeAlways Месяц назад +8

    Doesn't trump have to pay taxes on his bible sales profits?

    • @icantollie
      @icantollie Месяц назад

      Depends on the state where sold; some states require the seller to collect taxes on merchandise sold online and shipped across state lines; other states place that responsibility on the end purchaser as part of the use tax on their state income taxes

  • @VideoNozoki
    @VideoNozoki Месяц назад +7

    CORRECTION: (5:20) Seth says, "A solitary MATCH" -- when the guy is clearly holding a LIGHTER.
    (Although a single matchstick typically burns for around 8 to 10 seconds,
    a lighter like the one the man is holding can burn on average for a total of 55 minutes.)
    ー you're burnt!

    • @jb888888888
      @jb888888888 Месяц назад

      I'm so old I remember when they used to advertise Bic lighters on TV promoting how long they lasted.

  • @opo2597
    @opo2597 Месяц назад +8

    Correction: if trump jumped on a trampoline, his legs would snap in half, obviously

    • @jillians7112
      @jillians7112 Месяц назад

      I think they'd actually fall through the bottom on the first decent, and his feet would hit the ground underneath because he's such a fat slimeball.

    • @francesbernard2445
      @francesbernard2445 Месяц назад

      That is not good news. Not good news when anyone is experiencing that sort of thing.

  • @Lily-cx1vo
    @Lily-cx1vo Месяц назад +33

    All Americans DO NOT need a bible in their home. Religious freedom is the CORNERSTONE of America. Religious freedom is what brought our forefathers to America to begin with. Religious freedom, separation of church and state, is a core aspect of the constitution. Diversity and FREEDOM is what makes America great. Saying “every American needs a bible in their home” is the most UNAMERICAN thing I have ever heard.

    • @izabelasiczek3547
      @izabelasiczek3547 Месяц назад +7

      Exactly it makes me mad that No one says that on news out loud !!!!

    • @TheNzFox
      @TheNzFox Месяц назад +10

      the issue is these people don't see it as pushing their religion into anything, they think its just 'fact' so should be the default in all aspects of life, in their minds its the people who argue against that totalitarianism that are forcing their views on others.

    • @paulyricca3881
      @paulyricca3881 Месяц назад

      👴🏻🥃 YO MOTHER IS A SPAMBOT TROLL MEGATRON ASTRO BOY EIGHT MAN MEGATRON ROBO GEEK

    • @paulas_lens
      @paulas_lens Месяц назад

      @Lily-cx1vo That is only part of the story.
      The Reformation, the Puritans, the Mennonites, the Quakers, and even the Catholics, etc, etc are a part of the story.
      But the Colonies were set up for profit, by the Monarchy and the Merchants and Gentry who made it happen.
      The belief that our country was established *first & foremost* for "freedom of religion" is a HUGE part of the myth & propaganda we were all sold.
      God "gave" no one this land.
      God "saved" it for no one.
      It is just land, same as all the other land around the world.
      It is *not* a "promised land"
      Everyone needs to open our eyes and ears to hear the propaganda and ask why it is pushed on us.

    • @Lucifer-qt9gh
      @Lucifer-qt9gh Месяц назад +5

      I'm just trying to figure out how to get a pallet of these without paying for them so I can have a bonfire...I'll keep y'all updated

  • @kurtbader9711
    @kurtbader9711 Месяц назад +3

    Bibles, sneakers, nfts and bobbleheads. Just look and think.

  • @rayhallett
    @rayhallett Месяц назад +2

    I love your rambling, disjointed Trump imitations! No one captures that aspect of his self-involved high school personalty better than you do. Keep it up!!

    • @icantollie
      @icantollie Месяц назад

      JAJ has the voice but Seth has fully comprehended Trump's whole mental state and personality

  • @clints7834
    @clints7834 Месяц назад +4

    CORRECTION: That, sir, is a BiC lighter and not a solitary match, as you put it.

  • @BradloRaul
    @BradloRaul Месяц назад +3

    Egregious typos aside; Donald spent his entire 4 year term in office promising to improve on the ACA and delivering nothing. He never even tried to submit an alternative proposal. Now he’s trying to run on that again? 🤦‍♂️

  • @miniatureskeleton8147
    @miniatureskeleton8147 Месяц назад +2

    “Endless Manatee” - Thank you, Scollins.

  • @wilburbooy255
    @wilburbooy255 Месяц назад

    The news straight in to a closer look is great.

  • @zackspiker_
    @zackspiker_ Месяц назад +5

    Alright fine, I’ll type it here too: SOMEONE MAKE A JOE BUDDEN REFERENCE AND PUMP IT UP!

    • @markmac2206
      @markmac2206 Месяц назад

      All I got is Kamala Da 5 9

  • @Woodat
    @Woodat Месяц назад +4

    Give them some props!