Video suggestions: 1) The 16 Personalities' biggest fears (if they aren't too similar to their biggest regrets) 2) Things you should never say to the 16 Personalities (what they are overly sensitive/insecure about, and how not to unintentionally hurt them) But to be honest, I always watch anything you upload because I like this channel, so it's totally okay if you don't make any of these suggested videos. :)
@ok YES please! 😁 I think I knew an ESFP at my last "office" job. We got some internal event one night and at the end of it we were like getting crazy and started dancing spontaneously. If I was a newbie there, granted no one would ever guess I'm an introvert 😆
Makes me grateful we treated our INFJ son nicely when we raised him. Instead of trying to manipulate us, he is our family guru and we all go to him for advice. He is wonderful.
Unhealthy INFP: I hated being so me , I have no value, there’s no meaning in life and I’m gonna give up trying. Health INFP: I love myself, I appreciate my sensitivity, I can do anything like anyone else, it is a blessing to born to be me, I deserve to be loved,there’s no meaning in life ,and that’s exactly why we can be free to create our own meaning. And I’m trying to be a healthy one, failed and failed again, but keep trying. After I watch the video I want to say when INFP loves themselves from their hearts they would be very cooperative and willing to reach outside world, when people think I’m too drown in myself is not because I don’t care about them ,it’s because I’m so depressed that I cannot handle with anyone and I really don’t trust myself, I don’t want hurt anyone so I have to shut myself off. I’m sorry for that.
It's okay, you're on the right track! I consider myself as a healthy infp, i know what i want in life, doing pretty good and i have great and deep relationship with the people i love in my life. I was very unhealthy last year, lost my meaning of life and very cynical, but it would get better really soon! Best wishes for youu❤
@@safi6749 that’s sounds somehow romantic 😌 Sometimes I feel the light is so weak I can barely see, when that happens I have to persuade myself that there must be something waiting, I guess I’ll fake it until I make it
@@jeromeur8636 I feel happy for you☺️ ! It sounds very desirable to have someone by side , I don’t know if one day I will grow healthier but when there’s no one supporting me I have to be the one who take the responsibility to care for myself 😌 best wishes for you too my friend ☺️
I'm an INFP with an unhealthy ESTJ dad. I was clinically depressed throughout my teenage years and it was a nightmare dealing with all his petty criticisms and lack of empathy. Thankfully, I always knew that he was wrong to treat me the way he did. I was quite "unhealthy" during those years but I've overcome a lot and I love my personality type, especially as I learn more about it (thanks FJ!). I think I'm pretty healthy now but I don't show my true colors around my dad anymore because he doesn't know how to accept me for who I am. But that's his loss.
I had the same experience and have had to do a lot of healing from my upbringing. In my case, my father actually got somewhat healthier with age, and he is now bearable enough to deal with in small doses - if he had remained the abusive tyrant he was when I was younger, I would've cut him out of my life. I highly recommend the book Recovering From Emotionally Immature Parents for a bit of self-therapy and guidance on how to set boundaries and deal with parents like this as an adult.
You have NO IDEA of how I needed to read this!!! I've been struggling with lots of emotions lately that I couldn't really understand, this has given me courage you know... Thanks ❤️
I don't know I've always done things thinking how the others will like it, how I will look to them. So I've changed the way I act in front of others according to what I've felt would be right. That's a lot of feeling put into thinking haha(if that makes sense). But these days I want to embrace myself more. I want to tell myself that my decisions do matter. Also I wanna tell myself that it's okay not to be likable to everyone because that's not possible and even if I act according to what I feel would please others, in the end I don't think I would still like myself. Im just thinking all about myself which makes me feel that I'm selfish. But I wanna be likeable to others and so I did those thinking IT WOULD HELP OTHERS. Idk if it's just me who is such an INFP. Even now, when I'm trying not to think about others' opinions, I still feel heartache because idk? I just don't like what I do ;-; just can't like myself better ://
As an INFP, everything you have said about them is true. I’ve drown in my feelings to the point where I isolated in my room and cut off contact with all friends. I never feel like I fit in anywhere and no one can figure me out.
Feeling the same here! 🙋♀️ It's weird because sometimes I just can't be alone and I need to be with people, but I am terrible at socializing so its frustrating and very hard to understand from the outside. You are not alone 😅
Hi Rosy, replying to express that I totally agree. And that I too, am also, replying from my own room. God bless all INFPs because lord knows we need it 😂
Same I was even betrayed by my friends because of 1 lie that someone else told them about me. I was very upset it has now been 4 years but still I can't forgive them. For me my friends were more important than family but they betrayed me. But now I have 3 friends true friends they help me alot. They understand me. I was always afarid to tell them about how I felt. But just a few days ago they gained my full trust. I did not trust them for 4 years lol.
He also said that INFPs have to get out of it themselves, and as an INFP, I can confidently say that we can. We can handle ourselves pretty well. Trust yourself, be empathetic, try your best and keep trying better...✌️
Yeah it is so sad. I don't want to manipulate and hurt others. But than again I see myself doing it and am so glad people are doing what I want them to do. Still the guilt is there.
It’s like waking up in the Matrix; realizing that not only programs, but also the humans still in the Matrix are life-threatening obstacles that can’t see the code. Any one of them can turn into Agent Smith, and see you as a virus in their system to be eradicated. When you’ve been hunted by Agent Smith your whole life, you learn to see civilians as the potential enemy.
Yeah, INTJ myself. I don’t think I manipulate people and I don’t like the thought of doing that but the “what do I want and how do I get there” was accurate. “Gaming” systems more than people. A “what’s the lest effort/shortest path to what I want” attitude.
I am an INTP, but somehow the unhealthy ENTP hitted me way harder than unhealthy INTP, yes I isolate myself, but I have way too much ideas and don't execute them afraid of failing them
I found out I'm an ENTP latwr in life but I felt uncomfortable growing up because I was pressured to keep quiet and not talk about anything too controversial with others, having to always be critical of other's perceptions of me and not worry about making too much of an impression. But when i met these group of friends a few years ago, I felt so natural with them that I was showing more Ne Ti Fe with them and back then I never even heard of MBTI. Now that I know what I am and read up on what my strengths are and weaknesses, i want to develop my personality type and give it more growth. I hope you get that same growth, I know some INTPs that are really smart and successful from my job. Good luck to you! 👍
When I was in high school I was a healthy INTP(I had friends and socialized with my classmates), now in college I'm an unhealthy INTP. I'm bitter, sad, hating on everyone and thinking everybody is stupid so I'm just in my mind, reading, writing poems and little stories, listening to music or sleeping most of the time
I have a parent who is a strong ENFJ and when their unhealthy side comes out, it’s exhausting for everyone else but them. 😠😬 It drives me crazy because they also can’t take any criticism, so when I (INFP) gently try to address something small or make a request, they are immediately defensive and will not hear it. They often tell me that one of my strengths (which it is) is confronting people in a calm, gentle way but when it’s their turn to be confronted they throw it in the trash, start getting manipulative and I’m just like…wow.
I've had similar experiences with my ESFJ mother. Extremely sensitive to criticism and prone to taking things personally, or blowing things out of proportion (e.g., taking issue with one specific thing she says or does can quickly turn into an "Oh, so I'm such a terrible mother!" drama). But she is somewhat unhealthy, and to be fair she has been criticized and manipulated a lot in her life, so I can see why she has this sensitivity.
@@Multitudes_ I think we also might have the same mother. 💜🙏 My sister might actually be your mother. She is an ESFJ. My mom's introverted but acts like ESFJ 🤔
As an INFJ married to an INTJ, yeah. We're both pretty healthy, but every once in a while, it becomes a weird game of manipulation chicken, and it's not fun. Usually. Lol
@@infdox9051 it's said to be one of the better match ups for the type, but I feel like any type pairing can be good or bad. For instance, my husband and I have a lot of the same strengths and weaknesses regarding our cognitive functions, so we can sometimes enable each other not to change or learn more sensing related things, especially. On the other hand, our F T difference helps us teach each other to be more open to our weaker trait.
@@infdox9051 true enough, but again, I think that depends on the person, because even those with the same type can vary greatly in how they present themselves. My grandmother and my husband are both INTJ, but they are very much not the same in many ways. My dad is an INTP (who is honestly rather unhealthy), and though I struggle to deal with his dark thoughts, we have had many deep and wonderful conversations about life, death, and the universe. I'm not saying I would love to be friends with an ESTP. If I'm being entirely honest, they seem terrifying, though I have no idea if I've ever known one. That being said, I feel like it would be interesting and entertaining to be friends with an ENTP, and my brother and mother are both ENFP, and I have lots of fun talking and spending time with both of them. My best friend and my sister are both INFP, and we connect on so many levels. Strangely, I don't know many sensing types that I'm aware of aside from my mom's best friend, but I love her too, and she has taught me so much about organization. It's all about learning how to play to each other's strengths and work through each other's weaknesses in a positive way. At least that's how I see it.
The unhealthy INFP is a clear description of me. However, in addition to self-pitying, absolutely hating myself and "bathing in my own negative emotions", I also have some serious anger issues. And when I'm in a bad mood, I tend to think and daydream about pretty dark and destructive stuff. Like, it is pretty common for me to want to see the world burn in eternal inextinguishable flame. I often imagine myself as one of the Four Riders of the Apocalypse. Such dreams bring me joy when I'm in a bad mood. It doesn't feel like sadism to me, more like desire for righteous vengeance.
I felt lost for a long time, going through life in a crappy job where I wasn't appreciated and often felt like I was the only one of my siblings not meant for better things. Day in and day out I felt lost and aimless, like I was living on autopilot and time was meaningless. The things that made me happy stopped working and I was cripplingly aware of my numbness. One day, out of sheer desperation, I made a last minute decision to take a trip out of town to a convention that was happening. The moment I arrived I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotions I hadn't felt in years. I spent the entire weekend just enjoying. It was only on the way back and felt the con buzz wear off that I suddenly started realizing that I was not only feeling stressed and upset, but everything around me literally looked to be in grey scale. I always thought that was just an aesthetic choice in shows but no apparently depressed people can actually starting losing the ability to see color. This freaked me out very very badly. I came away from this moment with 2 thoughts: Get a new job and get therapy. I had always hesitated on therapy since I thought I knew all the right questions and already knew the answers so what's the point of talking to someone? Yeah turns out I did not know all the questions or all the answers. Also realized I had such a low opinion of myself that I didn't see some of my "supporters" were making everything worse and some of my "enemies" were actually on my side the entire time. But I think the most important thing I realized is just how much it meant to have an outside party just sit and listen to me and not tell me I was over reacting. Sometimes, it's the small things that make all the difference in someones life.
Frank, the example you put that “imagine that an INFP lives in household with people that want them to be ESTJ” it’s literally me. I am an INFP whose father it’s a ESTJ and whose mother is an INTJ and they want me to be more extroverted because, although my mother is an introvert, she has it quite balance (60% introvert, 40% extrovert) while I have 90% introvert and 10% extrovert :). They also want me to be more thinking than feeling and hate how creative I am.
"Well, thoughts are the best things in you can have, they are like the lottery, you can have anything pulled out of the thoughts mail, from the spectrum that you have immediately on your mind" -a *healthy* ISTP.
You hit the nail on the head. ENFP here. I feel like I have all these great ideas, but I can't get the motivation or the courage to go through with them. I'm scared of failure, and looking like a fool, and I do think that goes back to being treated like a was an air headed idiot by my dad. He was abusive and did a really good job at making me feel worthless and dumb, thus my consent daydreaming but never actually having the courage to do anything with it. I'm still trying to work on that. It's a process, but I'm doing better at it.
As an INFP, I grew up surrounded by XSTX people and I got to a point where I didn't understand myself, I felt useless, I used to ask myself why I can be normal like everyone are supposed to be. This was before I found this channel. Now I know myself better and I gained confidence, I don't feel bad about myself anymore. I have to stop saying the word *myself*
I'm changing the words I say to myself 😁and out loud. Instead of good and bad it's acceptable and unacceptable. You can also use beneficial and un beneficial. I try to use challenge instead of hard. Possible is next on my list. Right now it's try to catch it and change it phase for me myself and I 😛
@@tracyzimmerman7912 tbh words good and bad are too reductive for me most of the time - it all depends on the narrative that im getting from my feelings and sometimes good and bad feels appropriate but other times acceptable and unacceptable like u said
my sister and I are literally the only NFs in our extended family (idk how that happened but ok) and we agree that its way harder to open up to the rest of the family for us than to eachother and expecially when most of our family are thinkers
I was a really unhealthy INFP since my childhood because of the environment in which I grew up. But thanks to the pandemic which gave me the time out I needed and now I don't think of myself as an alien like before. I am coming out of the self-hate phase and Now I really really love being an INFP ✨
my way of being an unhealthy INFJ consisted of becoming an unpaid psychologist, put my problems aside and dedicate myself exclusively to others. Also I tended to"sacrifice" myself for others, basing my self-esteem on this fact (or on the false belief that those who sacrifice themselves are somehow a "better" being). Sure it happened that I was manipulative at times, but not so often. Another very unhealthy behavior that unfortunately still happens to me is to isolate myself for months, lock myself up in my mind and live in an imaginary reality for fear of facing the real world which requires to be more operational and less theoretical. Personally this has been a big obstacle to me and the reason why I feel uncomfortable and inadequate to live in our society.
I feel you. As an infj, i would always make sure that no one gets upset while putting aside the fact that i get upset. Today i had a class. I made sure everyone was happy and satisfied and did everything that others needed. As i walked home, i noticed i become a way different person when i'm alone. It's like i fully sacrifice myself to make others happy. Maybe we would make great actresses if we keep going like this and pretend as if we are an esfp.
Its relate to me. Sometimes feeling too tired because of hearing others problem (plus at the end of the day i realized i have a problem too lol). But dont know how to stop myself to deep with others problem. The only way i can do is disappear for a while, its my only way to recharge my energy :")
yeaa same do you think the unhealthy versions depend?? because i as an unhealthy infj wasnt manipulative but just a MAJOR people pleaser (lowkey still am) ah and also have a hard time figuring out if im just an unhealthy infp ahh i wish life wasnt so hard and i had a normal childhood 😭
Female ISTP - I've thought for the longest time there is something wrong with me, I've been treated like that A LOT. You're right Frank, I've retreated into my own head and just had enough of everything. I wanna become a hermit and never deal with anything EVER. I'm trying my best to change that for my daughter who I do care so much for. Maybe I can buy a pillow for screaming into periodically.
I know a healthy istp who is in mental health and people prefer to talk to her over feeler types. You have strengths like cool in a crisis. It's great you're working to change because ISTPs can be amazing at empathy.
Me, an unhealthy INFJ: *is manipulated constantly by abusive family members and therapist has declared I must eliminate all contact with them now and forever, but I don't want to hurt them, so the cycle continues* I dunno if I'd prefer acting the way you describe it in the video... Probably? But my empathy is too strong, so I hurt myself for the sake of others... 😢 And I have also become extremely fearful of decision-making. The classic having tons of plans but never executing them.
Actually, if you can get away from that, it will help you enormously. If you (I have some overlap) internalize it, and can't figure out how to "detox" all of that abuse, the rage, and the anger, then your N will settle into a constant state of paranoia while the the F and T will overload and cause a very ugly feedback loop of negative emotions until that organized J rears it head. Then you look in the mirror one day, and see an Adolf Hitler looking back.
I appreciate that you don't want to hurt them, but it sounds like they have repeatedly and consistently hurt you. Cutting off contact with someone is nothing compared to being abused. Sure, their feelings might be hurt in the same way that a romantic partner's feelings would be hurt if you broke up with them, but they are not being violated, damaged, or prevented from living their lives in peace. It's just the end of a relationship. You always have the right to end relationships that are harmful to you. That's the opposite of what relationships are for. You can set boundaries and give people conditions for the treatment you will and will not accept from them if they want to maintain a relationship with you, and if they are not willing to respect that, then they forfeit the right to the relationship.
I feel you but in my case I just cut them out because people always come again if you do that. Of course I know this is unhealthy and I'm trying not to do it anymore.
I grew up in an abusive family too, so I kinda understand. Physical abuse, verbal abuse, even sexual harassment.. but despite all that, I did struggle to leave at first, because I cared too deeply. Until one day, I get to the point where I felt that enough is enough, I have served them enough, and it’s time for me to leave, because I have bigger goals to achieve, to help others who truly needed my help. And I can’t help anyone without helping myself first. I’m genuinely hope that you have already gotten out of the abusive relationship since then. 🙂
So true!!! As an ENFP, I dont feel like myself when I am not ok... all my energy feels like drained. I dont even want to speak about the stuff that I love.
@@Navi405 HOLY- THAT'S SO HARD-😭 how can you even live-😭😭😭 (im an infp with an estj mom, infj sister, and an esfp brother and it is "actually hard" to deal with especially because my infj sister and estj mom always tells me to go out of my comfort zone like go do public speaking and like tells me to do extroverted stuffs and yk the rest and my thoughts are like "it's not easy for an introvert like me😭" then i'll burst out crying alone because i'd feel like no one understands me- but no they love me
I'm an Enfp who finally has some momentum in life and is putting some energy into making success out of my creativity. It feels so good! The thing is tho, I have to admit that it's a constant effort to keep that up. I take the needed breaks but still always have to make sure I don't extend them beyond what is necessary. The struggle doesn't exactly end but the key is to keep struggling to stay motivated and inspired! Keep it up and every day that the energy is there say to yourself that you will try your very best. Doesn't work every time and that's ok....sometimes might you even over do it and burn out. It happens. I've learned not to beat myself up and to brush the dust off of myself for another try. Try again to be balanced. Eventually I've managed to get more inertia in life and I believe in my fellow enfp/entp sisters and bros. One key belief that seems to help me is to acknowledge that it's always gonna be a struggle but you can either struggle uphill or struggle downhill. I also don't smoke none of that kush either so perhaps that has made a difference as well🤣👌😤🚭 and being around inspiring, refreshing, uplifting people can also give us energy to keep working and setting goals😊❤️
I've been going through the same thing. Enfp my self. Spent 5 hours thinking and did nothing else yesterday. I've been unhealthy and unhappy with myself for I while. I'm finally starting to feeling that motivation. I overthink everything and quickly feel disconnected. I keep hoping for unrealistic things and my friends don't care half as much about me as I do them. I need someone to talk to. Someone who will listen. I hate feeling bad for myself. I want to be happy again. I think I've hit the bottom and soon I'll be on my way up,slowly. I get thinking, then I start spiraling. I start questioning myself and really have bullied myself 100 more than anyone else. I feel I'm not enough. I hope one day I will be.
Also an ENTP. Grew up with people that had no idea how to treat me and my innovations turned into emotional manipulation for a long time. Sometimes I didn't even realize I was booby trapping other people's lives. It was toxic. I try to practice radical honesty now even though it leaves me feeling exposed.
Thank you for doing this video, Frank. Ever since I got into MBTI stuff I was upset because of the INFP stereotype. Having dealt with depression myself and being out of it, I (more than anyone else) know a healthy INFP is not always depressed/fragile/emotional. I am glad you took the time to explain the difference between healthy and unhealthy types. I don't think all INFPs suffer depression, but (as I mentioned above) I did. Curiously, when I got out of it, I realized the exact same thing you said in this video: “It's not only about my feelings”. I mean, I had the right to feel pain (familiar issues), but I understood people around me were not perfect and the fact that they don't match my emotional needs doesn't mean they don't love me in their own way. They feel too, in their own language. And yes, just like you said, I overcame that alone (actually, God and my faith were there for me, but saying it in a mundane way, “alone”). I had to find it for myself. No one in my family was able to get me out of there. It took me years to be able to... be me with no guilt, with freedom. I am 96% introvert in a family full of extroverts. Not easy task. I learned to keep my most inner emotions to myself. I learned to be careful about who I trust my fragile side. I learned to be wiser. I prefer following my heart and my instinct, but I like sticking to logic too. I can see problems with perspective and understand the other side too. Also, now I don't get things too personally. I connect better with my family and even when we disagree a lot of times, I communicate with them and I fight for what it's right (not only what I feel it's right LMAO). I still have some trouble with the S, but not with the T. I can't say I am the healthiest INFP out there, but I feel I am in tune and aiming for the happiest an INFP can be. I don't have many friends (my best friends are an ISFJ and a INTJ and I am glad to say they respect and admire me as much as I respect and admire them), but that's fine for me. I don't need to be accepted by everyone. The people I know... Well, most of them come to me for advice (above all sensing of thinking types) when they don't know how to deal with a problem. Or when they are feeling pain but they don't even realize it. When I can guide them in some way, I feel really happy. I think maybe that's the fireproof for INFPs. Learn to heal yourself to be able to heal others. And healing others is such an awesome thing. Thanks again for the video, it was really interesting to watch and it will help (I hope) to clarify some misconceptions. Also thanks for the time you put into the editing and everything. Take care and hugs from Peru! Edit: sorry for grammar mistakes lol
I believe he's right about the spectrum... because whenever I think of trying to manipulate other people, there's always that voice in my head telling me to stop and get myself together for a moment and sort this situation out in a healthy way.
I think I do manipulate people's emotions, but in a good way. I tend to try to calm others emotions, not anger or annoy them. When I was younger I may have been a little unhealthy with manipulation, but now I just everyone to calm down and be happy. Ironically it is hard for me to get myself to calm down and be happy 😒
Our boy FJ is a nice cameleon : videast, philosoph, psychologist, actor, scientist, doctor, artist, musician... 💙 Science ! & Art. Edit : Thanks, seems I am an healthy INFJ. It's difficult sometimes, but we have to admit, we can't control all the things or people, that the perfection doesn't exist in reality.
@@johnknight9150 I like INTJ's, in how they are authentic and themself, to not fit in the concrete world, and surely we can understand each others, see the world in the way, their mind and intelligence.
I'm an infj. Today i had a class and i was all happy and cheered up everyone else and helped others. And then in the evening, as i walked home, i thought 'who am i kidding?'. I become a way different person when i'm around people and a way different person when i am alone. It's like i change my shape into the glass of others. I wondered why i try to make everything at peace even though it kinda upsets me. But it's true i really know how to manipulate others and it's dangerous.
Oh yeah, and some personalities having people don ' t change much: I ' ve been an ISTP for the majority of my life, and everyone distant from me says that my mind hasn ' t changed that much, and maybe it ' s because of some personality types always having the risk of falling of (the ESFJ falling of the chart drastically, or the ESTP neither falling off or climbing on). I have the conclusion that, i already learned this, just in a other way long ago.
I first tested as ISTJ on the official MB in my first year of my accounting degree because I thought I was a certain way and wanted the be a certain way. I tested for a few years later as ENTJ and only recently, after focusing on being authentic journey, I am testing as ENTP. Your environment can make a huge difference on your testing. That's why being authentic to yourself is so important and shouod be cultivated
Lol I started off the biggest INFJ but after working hard for yrs on problem areas I started to test a over the place - INFP as I wanted to be less tortured lol, then ENFP as built extroversion, then ENFJ, amd now settled back firmly into INFJ as I'm honest with myself agsin :p Definitely what we want to be and focus on affects our score. Authenticity key
You're probably truly an ENTP. You can't truly change the cognitive functions you're born with; just slightly improve on the weak ones. ENTP's and ENFP's are extroverted intuitives, with inferior introverted sensing. So they can't really consciously pull from their past experiences that well and really on their brains analyzing all the external possibilities at 100mph. That's why they have a tendency to come of as a little scatter brain and change their opinions or feelings of themselves, or events around, them day to day. They're the most likely to mistyped themselves (like you seem to have done) because they're opinions and feelings on life matters change with the wind
So if you're an ENTJ dating an INFP and you're both in a bit of an unhealthy place, remember that you will not and you can not rely on your instinct of just bossing them into snapping out of it. The more you try, the further they dig in, and the more frustrated you get and dig in. It will not hurt to just go "that really freakin sucks yo" which is completely counter intuitive, I know, but trust me it. just. works. I don't know why, but it turns out that acknowledging others' feelings makes people put those feelings behind them. It's like magic, it's crazy, my mind was literally blown when I realised it.
Haha, well yes, it's important to have one's feelings validated and understood, and it does usually make people feel better when someone does that for them. This is really one of the most important elements of a healthy relationship. To try to boss someone into 'snapping out of it' is a harmful and toxic thing, not just for INFPs but for anyone, so by doing that, you only add fuel to the fire and prolong the bad feelings. Feelings are valid and important and always exist for a reason, and need to be allowed to be experienced and processed.
As an INTP, I agree with what was said. But I also notice at times that unhealthy INTPs get reaaaaallly lazy - like poor hygiene, never clean your room or change your underwear lazy. For example, sometimes during summers when I was a kid, I wouldn’t want to stop reading, and so I would lay in bed all day long reading without even taking a shower, and I’d even eat in bed and make messes that I wouldn’t clean up. I would only stop when my mom got after me. It’s as though you almost forget you have a body - so you never exercise or eat good food or get sunshine.
It’s honestly kind of amazing as I’m an INFJ, and my father is as well, so we can really just understand each other well, you know?? And as you’ve said in the beginning where it can be hard being in a family as one of the rarest personalities, it helps a lot having him with me, and I’m sure I make him feel the same way…
I’m touched by your words. I couldn’t understand all psychological theories and philosophy but I’m bowled over that you kept focusing on the good side of each personality, admirable indeed! Thank you so much for all the videos. Your channel is one of my fav
As an INTP, I really like psychology topic, and talk about emotions is not a big deal, I only feel uncomfortable if I talk about my own emotions (working on it) But glad to know my progress it was worth it ❤
Interesting. As an INFJ, I always assumed that everyone else was messed up! Not because I'm better, but because they don't seem to be a connected to the emotions of others as I am: they seem cold and uncaring.
Me ENFP growing up with ESTJ mom was quete an experience. If we weren't related we would be like biggest enemies and we sometimes were, but sometimes we bring out a different side of each other and it's nice.
Ikr, my first college year has just started to begin and my anxiety problem ( with all kind of stuff ) is already acting up :( Let’s stay strong together, we can get through this!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M IN THE EXACT SAME SITUATION I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY TAUGHT FOR TGE PAST 6 MONTHS AND THE EXAMS ARE ALMOST HERE I WANNA COMMIT NOT ALIVE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Yall its okay its just the beginning and uts hard but We've already done this so many times man this is not first grade(well i mean I don't think i was anxious about school in first grade)AND WE'VE ALWAYS SUCCEEDED or at least came out alive We just need to zoom out a bit... everything seems to be out of place including our emotions but we just need to sit BACK and just...take a moment and chill. Just for a lil tho so we don't end up procrastinating lol lets be patient and tske things slowly, step by step. Everything will fall into place and we will get out lives together but slowly k? Smooches to all of yall
As an INFJ I don't really relate to this unhealthy INFJ problem. That actually sounds kind of cool, being a puppet master. Instead, when I'm in the grip, I feel like it's more like I get stuck in future planning and seeing connections. Sort of like how FJ describes ENTPs getting stuck in all of the cool amazing creative things they could do but don't. Except my problem is more like "Doesn't anyone realize that civilizations are like organisms and ours has entered its death phase? Behavioral sink, guys, behavioral sink! You think you're making choices but you're just a mouse in a tiktok mouse paradise, wake up! Anyway here's a short list of 47 19th century thinkers who agree with me that this is what's happening." And I have this delusion that if I can just find all of the connections, everything will make sense and I will understand the world and be able to tolerate other humans again. Really what I need is to go outside and touch grass, as the kids say.
I agree with getting stuck in the future. But also I kinda manipulate others too, but I always try to convince myself that that's the “right thing” to do for them and for everyone xD but at the end of the day it is what it is, manipulation. And I really hate that about my personality. Sometimes I even feel SO fake :'v
I'm infp and bruh, I can relate. I'm amazed with my claircognizant shiz and people do what I tell them they will do. Like I will tell a scenario and then same thing happens to them for some weird reason. (I broke up too many relationships bc of my advice) Kinda manipulative in the back of my head and I'm developing god-complex, but it is what it is.
INFP here. Sometime around high school I learned to "turn off my feelings", which scared the crap out of me at first because I was used to wallowing in them. It isn't actually *off*, it's just ignoring them for the sake of focusing on other more important things and I think was actually really healthy.
Weird you mention INFP raised by ESTJ. I’m INFP and I’m pretty sure my dad is ESTJ or ENTJ. My mom likely ISFJ. Both military parents. Not easy! Also we’re you singing the Welcome Back Kotter Song 😂
The aspect of "not being able to be yourself," or "thinking there's something wrong with you" makes me really wonder why anyone would Want to be a "rare" type. I felt so alien most of my childhood, I genuinely thought I was the one in the wrong: I thought I had autism or some other form of condition that made it so my thoughts were too weird for other people whenever I tried to explain what was happening i my head. I never felt like I really fit in, and like I was just observing the "humans" when they did things I really didn't understand the purpose of (tradition for the sake of tradition for instance). Turns out I was just INFJ, and finding that out was a great help for me, but being rare isn't that great. x)
so true, sometimes i dont want to believe im Infj id rather be more common.. my childhood relates to this and i still do. but i started finding people like me, and it has gotten much better when someone finally at least tries to understand you and accepts the fact that you are different, and there is nothing freacking wrong with you. maybe its not great, but at least you will meet the right people, who you can trust and will accept you for your chaotic mind. the balance of life, sometimes bad things happen for the better, and we just have to be grateful, and accept the fact that "this is me, and only i can truly make it better or worse."
I really don’t want to diagnose you over the internet or make you more confused but, honestly that does sound like autism that could be checked out. Having autism can and likely does influence a lot of peoples type, and that’s okay. If you truly feel like an outsider looking in, and you don’t even feel fully human or normal, or you feel like you don’t understand a lot of things humans do? Yes it may be autism. And that’s not a bad thing, nor does it make you the problem. Of course I absolutely don’t know your whole history, maybe you’ve even had an analysis done and they said you don’t have autism. But like... autism and other conditions can absolutely shape MBTI. For example, I’m an INFP, but a lot of my ENFP tendencies come from my ADHD. And that’s fine, having ADHD is a part of me.
I'm an ESTJ and I don't get why some INFJs are excited about being only 2% of the population, especially since that's still about 150 million people on Earth. And if they've met 100 people in their life they've probably met another infj. But I get that hypothetically it explains why it feels like no one relates, even though mathematically that's not the case.
I’m an ENFP and you actually just described my current situation with the unhealthy version omfg. I recently graduated college and can do so many things but I’m just kind of idling because I love living in my imagination and I love possibilities more than things that are concrete (and I love wacky tobacky, yes I feel quite called out) but hopefully this is my wake up call. I think my fears of failure, embarrassment and commitment all probably play into this 😅
An Infp who has strict parents that are Entj and Estj, trying to fit in to everyone else and showing a different side to different people to please them.
Woww, pressure from both ENTJ and ESTJ can be quite overwhelming at times, and I'm sure they must be really proud of you for who you are! I'm an ENTJ myself so I can quite understand the pressure hahahahh. I'm sure there's people who appreciate ur authentic side too, hope you can find someone who values the true side of yours 💖
Thanks God I had so many good class mates in high school, if they were like middle school ones I would be a very unhealthy INTP. I can not thank enough especially my ENTJ, ENFJ, ESFJ and ISTP class mates, they had the best effect on me! They cured my depressed and transformed my anti-social self to an introvert who yeah has problems to show his feelings, but at least is happy! Thank you my dear class mates, even if you'll never read this comment, you are still the best thing to happened to me!
As an introvert with very extroverted parents, I was always forced to socialize constantly, call friends regularly, and my parents thought that I hated them because I needed more alone time than them or my siblings. This lead to me having a drained social battery 100% of the time. I also (as mentioned in the video) thought that something was wrong with me, because I didn't enjoy socializing like the rest of my family. It wasn't until after a lot of relationship problems that I figured myself out thanks to my aunt. Now, also thanks to my aunt, my parents are more understanding, and accept me more for who I am.
I believe I am INFP, after doing some self‐analyzing and a promising‐looking test. But I'm almost at the edge of a more thinking approach which whom I find myself eager in the enviroment around me. I don't want myself to think to far ahead with my ideas because I'm 98% sure I'll get disappointed, and future would be scary if pointing only to something so hard to achieve. I believe I want to find my own stability in the real world before making my dreams and passions come true. I'm also not very determined, which kinda sucks, but I can deal with it. It's a lot of patience, but I hope I'll get my chance of doing what I care about, without worrying about the real world issues.
Types in a healthy vs unhealthy state in a single word: I. Introverts: ISTJ-ISFJ: A) Unhealthy=rigid B) Healthy=flexible INTJ-INFJ: A) Unhealthy=manipulative B) Healthy=protective INTP-ISTP: A) Unhealthy=critical B) Healthy=constructive INFP-ISFP: A) Unhealthy=depressed B) Healthy=inspiring II. Extroverts ENTJ-ESTJ: A) Unhealthy=domineering B) Healthy=cooperating ENFJ-ESFJ: A) Unhealthy=needy B) Healthy=caring ESTP-ESFP: A) Unhealthy=reckless B) Healthy=courageous ENTP-ENFP: A) Unhealthy=speculative B) Healthy=resourceful Note: The choice of the words is in relation to the inferior function in an unhealthy state, and in a healthy state is in relation to the domminant ability.
Lemme tell u as an infp raised in a household with an infj mom, infj sister, and estj father, being the only perceiver in a house full of judgers ABSOLUTELY aggravated the unhealthy "nobody understands me and I dont fit in" to quite a degree
So accurate!! I can never thank the people closest to me enough who are there for me when I sink into those INFP emotional depths. The sad thing is that I somewhat enjoy being in that place, depending on the situation, while knowing I can’t stay there, so I ask for help but know I’m making it really hard for the people trying to help me. 😞 At least I have supportive people in my life who are usually willing to try. But that thing about “almost having to do it themselves” is super accurate. At the end of the day, I can hash out something I’m feeling with someone or with myself but there’s always an element of me either being ready to come out of the darkness or not and I have to give myself time and the right conditions to actually do it. It can be unpredictable when I’ll be done but when I’m done, it’s like I just know it.
I thought I was the only one who found that dwelling in these feelings was comforting in way a. It’s really strange and it happens every so often. Don’t worry though, from an INFP to another, we’ll make it through somehow
I’m an INFP with an ISTJ narcissistic dad, and an ISFJ mother who is an enabler and hyper-critical. I’ve been struggling with depression my whole life, but now I understand the “why” of my issues and can come to terms with it all. It sucks though. I can never seem to move past it permanently.
If you feel you're not able to move past it, that might be partly why, sometimes happiness is a choice. Reminds me of Jesus asking the disabled man, "Do you want to get well?" before he healed him. Because it seems like some INFPs want to cling to their negative feelings too much even if you know it's unhealthy. Hope you feel better!
Thank you very much for this. I can see I was a very unhealthy INTP for years and that I have managed to become much healthier over time, although still far from truly healthy. I'm favoriting this video and I'll come back to it in the future to check on how I'm going by then. 🙂
Thank you so much for the insert speech about INFP & depression, you actually Totally Nailed It. I think it's also important to point out that your unconcious\subconscious personality types can be healthy\unhealthy too & if you resonate with more than one of these groups it might be worth looking into further. For example, I'm an INFP but I could most definitely resonate with some of the unhealthy examples from a few of my past actions for ENFJ, ESTJ, and ISTP.
Wow. You just described me almost exactly. I just finally realized this week that I'm INFP. But I grew up in a home where it was only acceptable to be ISTJ. It took me until the age of 47 to finally realize that I'm actually INFP.
yeah, as an INTJ sometimes I can be a bit manipulative. I just hate when I lose control about something around me. I'd rather give up sooner before everything gone wild.
I'm an EXTREMELY cinic ENTJ, like really: I always score tremendously high levels of T and abyssally low in empathy/morality ecc. (both in traits tests and type tests). At the same time I also have a quite high Fi, like I'm very aware of my feelings, I'm just SO used to people walking over them that I actually don't give a fuck about almost anybody and their feelings. In general I've always been hypercritical and rational, but I just used to be curious (more like an ENTP), while know that I have to get stuff done I just think that making decisions according to feelings instead of logic is just dumb, a waste of time, especially if actually nobody will care about mine. So at least I wanna get things done right and I'm not just being an asshole for the sake of it. Sometimes I'd really like to be even colder, but those few times that I care about somebody I'll just give him/her too much importance and I get fucked up once more.
I'm an ENTJ, and I TOTALLY AGREE that we're the same 😂👌 Tbh taking emotions into consideration really ticks me when they don't even get their shit done on the deadlines they agreed. Like - what else do you want more when you broke the trust I gave you?? And bcoz of this dumbfuc delaying the team progress is good enough for me to be super SUPER furious and stressed, things might not get done in time if someone procrastinates right!!
INTJ here. This sound very accurate to me. Personally, I have noticed that I do not on purpose try to "manipulate" others, but the way I put myself and my opinions out there, it seems others are somehow very reactive to it and in a way, they let themselves being "manipulated". Hard to explain, but this is how I feel and see it.
Our western society discriminates introverts and puts way too much emphasis on self advertisement. I do agree with his picture of the INTJ. Especially, in hostile environments feelings get suppressed and it's survival mode. Then it's really hard to reconnect with feelings. I'll admit that I always judge people if they are useful to me or society as a whole. I do show often an altruism, but it's a twisted one in that it's more of an investment in an environment I want to live in rather than being glad to help others without ulterior motives. Thus my altruistic side is very specific and localised. I would never send money abroad to fill starving mouths for day, I much rather invest in a pleasant neighbourhood even if it doesn't save a single life....
I'm still trying to figure out what type I am and the unhealthy version of INTP and ISTP describes when I'm under a lot of stress. Since I hit puberty I became a really irritated person, and I tend to be mean when I'm like that. It's like everthing bothers me and when everybody is happy is so stupid, and I wish people would leave me alone and not even look at me. The very presence of another person bothers me. This happens mostly when I'm stressed and under a lot of pressure. When I'm in a good mood I love to talk and I'm fine doing anything, but I get mad easily. Also, when I'm at that place of being isolated, mostly when I'm trying to finish an assignment, I get overwhelmed. It happens bc I leave everything for the las minute and then I'm like "Why am I like this, I hate myself"
Part of that could just be being in school, I'm an ESTJ and enjoy working but I hated school even though I did well at it. But when you find what you love to do as an adult (whether it's your job or raising a family or your hobbies) you still have to put in work and do things you don't want to do but there's more freedom than school. Also I became more organized in high school and a little less shy through working in hospitality, so it might be too soon to be sure what your type is.
Man. The beginning of this video really *spoke* to me about my type and my situation growing up. I am an INFP, and I was raised in a household of an ESTJ and ISTJ if that fits my dad and it was HORRIBLE. so I'm coming out of pretending and trying to be myself now! You really hit the nail there! Especially INFJ which is my best friends over here. Eek. Really explains a lot! Thanks for the great examples you provided! Transforming from Unhealthy to Healthy. Maybe my parents wanted me to be a ESTJ or my mom shes the dominating one but I pushed and pushed. Having my Ni (Intuition) and my F(feelings) bottled up,but occasionally coming out and unhealthy ways. T logic screws me over a lot. Thinking from my head Overly too much was not healthy for me. And I never judge myself based off of anything in the external. That is ridiculous! Thank you! 💙😇
Really, you never judge yourself based on the external? Isn't that code for saying you're always right? Let me know if you meant something else. I think that's what ESTJs and INFPs have in common, tendency to think we're always right when sometimes we need to listen to the other side first.
I am an INTJ and I’m not manipulative, but I am too socially isolated and quite close minded, too based on first impressions. I have understood now that people have different opinions (mostly politically), but people often have immense hate and disrespect along with it. I can be arrogant at times but I try hard not to show it. I hope I will be a healthier INTJ soon
I can agree there. Having an understanding of different people with varying opinions is one thing but trying not to object or push in our opinions is even harder. Although I'm getting quiet good at ignoring that now. Still have that understanding but now I choose not to manipulate or explain my way through. It's a tough journey, but I have faith in you, internet stranger :D
@@izukumidoriya-ok3np I would argue it the duty of those around people with unhealthy opinions to dissuade them. If someone believes killing children is okay, that is an opinion I can't simply say I'm okay with people holding. For less important things people have a right to an informed opinion, but that doesn't mean believing something they WANT to be true is true because they want it to be so, it means understanding some level of nuance and forming an educated reasoning for said belief. Edit: also how can one ever truly understand their motives? Maybe you guys are better than me, but when I act I often question whether or not I acted with in accordance to bringing about the outcome I desire or that the feeling that moved me was a genuine concern for others.
@@jhemp oh gosh I think I heavily misunderstood you on that opinion part. I didn't mean it like that. Obviously any type of harm to anyone is wrong and unjust. I meant opinions on general things, where one side can't be "correct/right". It heavily depends on how you choose to look at it. We tend to think we are on the "right" one but not everyone will always agree, no matter how you put it. That's the ground I try to be in whenever arguing/explaining. Also, I really can't explain it but I have my motives and the sense of right and wrong clear whenever I act. I tend to base them on a personal logic or rather what should be done. If an outcome is worth it or not that is the prior concern generally 🤔 What do you think you act on? Ik it's not possible to have a logical explaination for every action but there has to be an instinct/principle?
@@izukumidoriya-ok3np I usually assess the situation and make a decision that is most likely the one that I feel will have the best outcome at the time, sometimes that means more selfish outcomes, others more altruistic. Though the question I always have at the end of the day is why I placed someone else's needs higher than mine, is it simply that I didn't want to deal with guilt, are the feelings genuine, is this because having the person as a friend is an asset. How can you really know? I understand we can tell ourselves that what we believe is true, but how can anyone be sure. People are constantly manipulated by unseen forces and those least willing to acknowledge them are the most likely to be manipulated because they are incapable of seeing the outside influence. Knowing this, how can anyone be sure they do anything for any reason in particular. Make no mistake, I'm mostly speaking philosophically. I've accepted certain values matter to me and certain affronts to those values spark a reaction in me, but there are considerable reasons to question our motives and to distill the essence of ourselves and ensure we are not being overly neurotic.
@@jhemp I can't answer for you, but I'm pretty sure for me it's a sense of trust of whether that person has helped me in the past or sometimes (thou very rarely) out of pure kindness that I'm willing to put their needs above mine (that too happens quite rarely because naturally, I am my first priority) Most of the people I know have a strong sense of ideals they act upon. Be it kindness, sacrificing nature, beliefs in god/karma. And everyone questions their motives or even faith at times, but there's always something that comes naturally to us that cannot be reasoned with, it's human nature. You'll get to it eventually, just keep at it.
ISFP raised by T types who were not just toxic but straight up abusive. I just feel defeated in adulthood and like I'm trying to survive. Sometimes, like the video describes, I just want the whole world to leave me alone. My parents mocked me for being introverted and attacked my capabilities in the hopes of "making me less sensitive" and teaching me that the world will be cruel to me, but the world has been nicer to me than they have. My innate gifts for art and caring deeply for animals/children were not celebrated or nurtured as I was growing up. These interests were actively discouraged in favor of science and team sports. I had to fight to be myself constantly and justify myself constantly. From their perspective, because I wasn't like them, I wasn't right and wasn't going to be prepared for life. None of their attempts to punish me for introversion/sensitivity or force me into group settings taught me people skills-- I only learned to talk and relate to people when I reached adulthood and started doing things my way, on my own terms. The physical and emotional abuse stays with me too and has made me struggle in intimate relationships. If you are T parents and have an ISFP child, maybe consider that the best way to launch them in life is to celebrate what they're naturally good at and interested in, like you would any child. And obviously don't be violent towards them.
ISFP married to an ENTJ. I used my feelings to make sense of the world around me, basically my feelings were my reality in stressful situations. After I got married, my husband helped me realize that I was backing up my opinions with feelings a lot and that I sounded “illogical” sometimes because I wasn’t backing up my feelings with any proof. And I often WOULD have proof or facts to back me up, but my feelings were so much more important to me since they had become the basis of my reality, and I would spend my time explaining how I felt instead of backing it up with logic (“illogical, logical…my husband sure sounds just like his type, right? 😂). This has made me healthier, since now when I have such strong feelings, I stop and examine whether or not I can back up these feelings with a reason for having them, and it has helped to keep me in reality instead of spiraling into a frenzy of negative emotions about something that’s actually just in my head.
With the first sentence I was worried about another story about marital incompatability but I'm so glad it wasnt :D Its great knowing how you can strengthen your weaker points with a partner strong in them
Wow, this really hits home. My ISFP best friend from time to time would come to me (INTJ) with some stuff based solely on his feelings and nothing else and always get me astonished, because I would waste a lot of time trying to solve a situation with extroverted thinking, when that situation had no logical basis at all. We both learned with each other, mainly me. Because he keeps using zero logic on his decisions most of the time. But I'm glad thinks work out for you guys.
@@nataliyasavchuk2737 If it helps, I was in my late 20s when I started tapping into it. I’m 32 now and still getting the hang of stopping to think through my feeling logically! I don’t know how old your sister is, but maybe over time and through life experience she’ll mature more emotionally and mentally, and want to tap into her Ti!
As an INFP, I was in a relationship with an unhealthy ENTJ for 8 years & it took a terrible toll on my psyche. My feelings & wishes were constantly dismissed & he would provoke negative reactions from me to prove his point. It was very much an empath vs narcissist dynamic. I'm now married to an INTJ and his tertiary Fi can be challenging at times, but nowhere near as difficult as inferior Fi in the ENTJ.
I feel directly called out from the beginning because I'm an INFP 15 year old with an ESTJ father, and he always tells me to stop looking at the big picture and that I should just look at something for what it is, rather than being immersed in the concept. He especially gets surprised whenever I'm listening to a generic song on the radio and I start day dreaming (I occasionally tear up just from the melody alone). And every time it's just us in a conversation, it always ends up with him yelling and me trying to calm him down, only to end up with me raising my voice (which I hate doing), and occasionally crying because of how skewed his view of me is or simply because he said something in a mean way. *I can't even wear my favorite beanie in the house because it's seen as rude.* (Mum's ISFJ though so there's a little bit of middle ground, but even then, borders are still tight)
I'm also an INFP with an ESTJ father. It's tough. I don't even like being in the same room as him because he can always find some way to criticize me no matter what I'm doing. I finally got worked up enough last week to tell him that he is insensitive, which he seemed surprised at and a few minutes later he said "I'm not insensitive, I'm practical" (two very different things in my book, but at least I got him thinking). Honestly, I think ESTJs are the least self-aware type and they don't know (and sometimes don't care) when they hurt others. If you tell him straight up that you function differently and point out when he does/says something hurtful, maybe he will improve.
an ESTJ has horrible Fi and the funniest part is that they are the most sensitive people when in grip because they ignore it instead of embracing it unlike an FP
I'm sorry you deal with that, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger (as long as he's not being physically abusive, doesn't sound like he is). It's not okay for him to yell at you but try to remember he (probably) doesn't hate you and he gives advice because he's trying to help you become a better person, whether he's right or not I don't know but sometimes it is healthy to not get too sidetracked. I didn't get along with my mom as a kid but we basically get along now, and we both shared part of the blame for arguing. You can't necessarily change how someone acts but you can change how you let it affect you. I believe in you.
That's amazing that right off the bat you mentioned an infj trying to be an istj. That was me. My mom is an istj, and very fun and loving and kind, but I was just a mystery to her, and still am. My whole family tends toward t, so I felt like I was an emotional wreck all the time. Looking back, I was a pretty normal teenage girl, and even overcame some pretty nasty situations better than expected. Thank you for this!
I'm an INFP and my extravert percent is 47 and introvert is 53% in recent years is when I started becoming healthy and learning to do my own thing. It's such a good feeling and I'm very proud of how far I've come in life and I'm only 22 right now☺️ but yeah teen years were a horror show for me.
As an istj I’m definitely in the middle (leaning towards unhealthy) because while I do like freak out at the idea of my sister one day going to collage and leaving me forever, I do think I’ve gotten better at handling SOME more immediate change that I know I just have to accept
When I was a kid, I got upset when my sister or friend changed their appearance (like hair cut, hair dye, makeup) or nickname. 😓 Now, I find it a bit funny, but I was very bothered at the time.
@@aprilhelm518 My nickname in was "panther" because of my naturally dark black hair, but now they call me "besa" because a friend of mine has a pet bee named "besa" because my attention flies away like a bee when i talk to my friends, some people even mix my old and my new nicknames and call me "besa bee" . And that ' s the history of my two nicknames.
@@jovan-noble-guy749 I eventually had a couple of nicknames with my friends. But for some reason I had a large initial reluctance to call someone by a shortened version of their name (normal stuff like Sam for Samantha, Kat for Katherine, etc.) or honestly anything other than what I'm used to referring to them by, and I preferred to use full names since it just made sense to me. And also, if I have a nickname, it's probably just something I might want friends to use or... whoever learns in for that context or something.
"oh the world is awful. I don't belong in the world. I will never be able to get along with others. I just don't fit in" DAMN!! That's literally the words I used when I get depressed as an Unhealthy INFP😂
It's extremely difficult to not be an unhealthy INTP bc society doesn't like our way of thinking 🙄 Edit: I'm just realizing how passive aggressive this sounds, I was probably having a bad day 😅 sorry
How would it be society's fault if your behavior is "unhealthy"? Do you mean it's difficult to not be PERCEIVED as unhealthy since society doesn't approve of you? Or are you really saying that your behavior is society's fault?
@@Lea-ov8vq btw I just realized that it's world's mental health day, I know Frank regularly premiere some vid on Sunday but is it really coincidence tho? 🤔
10:05 as an ENFJ, this is the perfect description of myself, earlier today at work. 10:30 why yes, I do transform into an ENTJ sometimes when I'm really pissed off
I'm an ISTJ, and my hubby is an INFJ. How we get along... it was a long struggle. Understanding the different personalities helped me a lot in dealing with his "theories" and manipulations. He also learned how to give me space when I'm on my manic mode: most common is stress cleaning and labelling everything in the house.
As an ISFP I try to distract myself when I am really upset. But when I do try to deal with my feelings I usually express to myself all of the things I'm feeling some things more than once. Try to make sense of it, try to think about how the other person may have felt and try to remember what is actually true. It's a long and not fun process and that is why I usually try to distract myself until I forget all about it.🤷
"When the INFP / ISFP get into their own minds... Their own feelings, it is hard to pull them out from the outside. They're gonna have to do it themselves. That's why they can really spiral out of control..." INFP: analysis is completely on point here.
INTP here! Durring COVID times I did display a few of those unhealthy traits but I've gotten better now! To any other INTPs or even ISTPs I recommend finding an Extroverted friend to "adopt" you. I have been "adopted" by and extrovert and its so nice and refreshing to go out and be social with her and I've gotten much better about talking to people and doing things since we've been friends!
I needed this video 3 years ago when I frikken failed out of uni 😭 my ENFP ass was just chilling imagining how cool it would be to work as a game designer than actually doing the work
I'm so afraid of my present and my future which DEFINITELY WILL go in shambles if I don't do anything about it but look at me here sitting all day watching relatable mbti memes and RUclips videos. What a Time to be alive~~
This is really personal, but I have seen myself slowly decay over the years of my life to an unhealthy INFJ. I live with very extroverted and strict parents, friends at school are all krappy, and I'm starting to get frustrated with how society treats people. I've noticed I get angry more easily and more manipulative so I can get past that situation or give emotional relief. I have also wanted to "door slam" people more often. I know I am doing this, it's just after years of this, and being an INFJ, it's really exhausting. I'm working towards being a healthy INFJ rn, and I'm trying to be more open with my feelings to everyone so I just don't blow up. First time ever saying this to anybody, to a whole community actually, hahaha. Hope you're having a good day to whoever is reading this, and thank you for reading this.
im infj and fuck i just realized i manipulated a situation, to make my sister appreciate me more or/and change her view of me just because i wanted someone to understand me. realizing the harm i could do in my depressive state, really just makes me to turn back and fight the feeling of letting depression win (yes i am diagnosed w severe depression) my worst fear is becoming a bad, and... manipulative person. sometimes i just dont even realize it. i know what im doing but i start making excuses, or just dont see it as manipulation and become blind to the causes and concequences before i just rethink that decision again. i hate taking advantage and hurting others. so fucking bad.
I kind of want to comment on the unhealthy ISTJ: When it comes to worrying about the future... putting it out of my head actually seemed to be the only way for me to accomplish anything today.
Thanks for watching! If you have other videos you'd like to see about the Myers-Briggs Personalities, let me know in the comments!
Video suggestions:
1) The 16 Personalities' biggest fears (if they aren't too similar to their biggest regrets)
2) Things you should never say to the 16 Personalities (what they are overly sensitive/insecure about, and how not to unintentionally hurt them)
But to be honest, I always watch anything you upload because I like this channel, so it's totally okay if you don't make any of these suggested videos. :)
@ok YES please! 😁 I think I knew an ESFP at my last "office" job. We got some internal event one night and at the end of it we were like getting crazy and started dancing spontaneously. If I was a newbie there, granted no one would ever guess I'm an introvert 😆
16 personalities on Tiktok (sketch)
16 personalities music taste, movie choice, etc (educational)
frank, you should make a vid about how to make types that are less compatible to understand eachother better
16 personalities getting a divorce, 16 personalities getting in shape, 16 personalities on a diet🙂
Health INTP: *on computer all day, weird sleep cycle,*
Unhealthy INTP: *on computer all day, weird sleep cycle*
Gotta admit I'm kinda obsessed with intp and intj lately. I blame it on Frank sketches.. but you guys really are something 😂
- isfp
exactly idk how he’s gonna do intp
@@fww.cleopatra ya, i mean INTPs dontlike helthy food either it taste bad
@@siaanand2189 it does taste pretty bad yeah
@@siaanand2189 well I am intp and i like to keep my diet balanced and not eat many sugars
Makes me grateful we treated our INFJ son nicely when we raised him. Instead of trying to manipulate us, he is our family guru and we all go to him for advice. He is wonderful.
Lmao,this is nice but so hilarious
aww
Nice to hear I'm an INFJ too lol so I guess *relatable* ??
💝💝💝
Yup Jesus is an infj but so is hitler
7:39 ESTJ & ENTJ
8:36 ESFP & ESTP
9:33 ENFJ & ESFJ
10:37 ISFJ & ISTJ
11:29 ENTP & ENFP
12:36 INTP & ISTP
13:37 INFP & ISFP
15:36 INFJ & INTJ
tysm! u saved my life 😩
Thank you for your service
It's in the desc but thanks
Thank you
thanks
Unhealthy INFP: I hated being so me , I have no value, there’s no meaning in life and I’m gonna give up trying.
Health INFP: I love myself, I appreciate my sensitivity, I can do anything like anyone else, it is a blessing to born to be me, I deserve to be loved,there’s no meaning in life ,and that’s exactly why we can be free to create our own meaning.
And I’m trying to be a healthy one, failed and failed again, but keep trying.
After I watch the video I want to say when INFP loves themselves from their hearts they would be very cooperative and willing to reach outside world, when people think I’m too drown in myself is not because I don’t care about them ,it’s because I’m so depressed that I cannot handle with anyone and I really don’t trust myself, I don’t want hurt anyone so I have to shut myself off. I’m sorry for that.
I like to think there is light at the end of the tunnel to keep myself sane
It's okay, you're on the right track! I consider myself as a healthy infp, i know what i want in life, doing pretty good and i have great and deep relationship with the people i love in my life. I was very unhealthy last year, lost my meaning of life and very cynical, but it would get better really soon! Best wishes for youu❤
@@safi6749 that’s sounds somehow romantic 😌 Sometimes I feel the light is so weak I can barely see, when that happens I have to persuade myself that there must be something waiting, I guess I’ll fake it until I make it
Exhausted in repeated cycle 😶
@@jeromeur8636 I feel happy for you☺️ ! It sounds very desirable to have someone by side , I don’t know if one day I will grow healthier but when there’s no one supporting me I have to be the one who take the responsibility to care for myself 😌 best wishes for you too my friend ☺️
I'm an INFP with an unhealthy ESTJ dad. I was clinically depressed throughout my teenage years and it was a nightmare dealing with all his petty criticisms and lack of empathy. Thankfully, I always knew that he was wrong to treat me the way he did. I was quite "unhealthy" during those years but I've overcome a lot and I love my personality type, especially as I learn more about it (thanks FJ!). I think I'm pretty healthy now but I don't show my true colors around my dad anymore because he doesn't know how to accept me for who I am. But that's his loss.
I had the same experience and have had to do a lot of healing from my upbringing. In my case, my father actually got somewhat healthier with age, and he is now bearable enough to deal with in small doses - if he had remained the abusive tyrant he was when I was younger, I would've cut him out of my life. I highly recommend the book Recovering From Emotionally Immature Parents for a bit of self-therapy and guidance on how to set boundaries and deal with parents like this as an adult.
say
same
I'm sorry
As an INFP, I feel you. Sometimes I don’t know where to fit in my house to
Anyone INFP who is struggling in a downspiral, you can overcome this 💪, I love you all 💜 you deserve a great life ✨
Thanks 🥰
aw thank you so much :)) really appreciate it
You have NO IDEA of how I needed to read this!!! I've been struggling with lots of emotions lately that I couldn't really understand, this has given me courage you know... Thanks ❤️
:)
I don't know I've always done things thinking how the others will like it, how I will look to them. So I've changed the way I act in front of others according to what I've felt would be right. That's a lot of feeling put into thinking haha(if that makes sense).
But these days I want to embrace myself more. I want to tell myself that my decisions do matter. Also I wanna tell myself that it's okay not to be likable to everyone because that's not possible and even if I act according to what I feel would please others, in the end I don't think I would still like myself.
Im just thinking all about myself which makes me feel that I'm selfish. But I wanna be likeable to others and so I did those thinking IT WOULD HELP OTHERS. Idk if it's just me who is such an INFP.
Even now, when I'm trying not to think about others' opinions, I still feel heartache because idk? I just don't like what I do ;-; just can't like myself better ://
As an INFP, everything you have said about them is true. I’ve drown in my feelings to the point where I isolated in my room and cut off contact with all friends. I never feel like I fit in anywhere and no one can figure me out.
Feeling the same here! 🙋♀️
It's weird because sometimes I just can't be alone and I need to be with people, but I am terrible at socializing so its frustrating and very hard to understand from the outside. You are not alone 😅
Hi Rosy, replying to express that I totally agree. And that I too, am also, replying from my own room. God bless all INFPs because lord knows we need it 😂
INFP here, well color me unhealthy
Same I was even betrayed by my friends because of 1 lie that someone else told them about me. I was very upset it has now been 4 years but still I can't forgive them. For me my friends were more important than family but they betrayed me. But now I have 3 friends true friends they help me alot. They understand me. I was always afarid to tell them about how I felt. But just a few days ago they gained my full trust. I did not trust them for 4 years lol.
He also said that INFPs have to get out of it themselves, and as an INFP, I can confidently say that we can. We can handle ourselves pretty well. Trust yourself, be empathetic, try your best and keep trying better...✌️
as an unhealthy INTJ, this was extremely accurate.
Yeah i laughed a lot and watched it thrice!!! That’s exactly me and i bought and reads books how to manipulate others and myself LOL!!
Yeah it is so sad. I don't want to manipulate and hurt others. But than again I see myself doing it and am so glad people are doing what I want them to do. Still the guilt is there.
It’s like waking up in the Matrix; realizing that not only programs, but also the humans still in the Matrix are life-threatening obstacles that can’t see the code.
Any one of them can turn into Agent Smith, and see you as a virus in their system to be eradicated.
When you’ve been hunted by Agent Smith your whole life, you learn to see civilians as the potential enemy.
Yeah, INTJ myself. I don’t think I manipulate people and I don’t like the thought of doing that but the “what do I want and how do I get there” was accurate. “Gaming” systems more than people.
A “what’s the lest effort/shortest path to what I want” attitude.
I get their permission to manipulate them so it's not that bad.
I am an INTP, but somehow the unhealthy ENTP hitted me way harder than unhealthy INTP, yes I isolate myself, but I have way too much ideas and don't execute them afraid of failing them
I found out I'm an ENTP latwr in life but I felt uncomfortable growing up because I was pressured to keep quiet and not talk about anything too controversial with others, having to always be critical of other's perceptions of me and not worry about making too much of an impression. But when i met these group of friends a few years ago, I felt so natural with them that I was showing more Ne Ti Fe with them and back then I never even heard of MBTI. Now that I know what I am and read up on what my strengths are and weaknesses, i want to develop my personality type and give it more growth.
I hope you get that same growth, I know some INTPs that are really smart and successful from my job. Good luck to you! 👍
When I was in high school I was a healthy INTP(I had friends and socialized with my classmates), now in college I'm an unhealthy INTP. I'm bitter, sad, hating on everyone and thinking everybody is stupid so I'm just in my mind, reading, writing poems and little stories, listening to music or sleeping most of the time
and it's going to lead you to the pass of being an "underground man", not a great place to be, trust me!
Exactly my story 😔
Same story
My life in a comment lol
My bf. A dirty cat who doesn't need anyone.
I have a parent who is a strong ENFJ and when their unhealthy side comes out, it’s exhausting for everyone else but them. 😠😬 It drives me crazy because they also can’t take any criticism, so when I (INFP) gently try to address something small or make a request, they are immediately defensive and will not hear it. They often tell me that one of my strengths (which it is) is confronting people in a calm, gentle way but when it’s their turn to be confronted they throw it in the trash, start getting manipulative and I’m just like…wow.
I've had similar experiences with my ESFJ mother. Extremely sensitive to criticism and prone to taking things personally, or blowing things out of proportion (e.g., taking issue with one specific thing she says or does can quickly turn into an "Oh, so I'm such a terrible mother!" drama). But she is somewhat unhealthy, and to be fair she has been criticized and manipulated a lot in her life, so I can see why she has this sensitivity.
@@Multitudes_ Do we have the same mother?🤔
@@peacefulruler4491 you better run downstairs and ask yo mama what she been doin when she aint home
😞 I hear ya. Im sorry that happens to you. 💜🙏
@@Multitudes_ I think we also might have the same mother. 💜🙏
My sister might actually be your mother. She is an ESFJ. My mom's introverted but acts like ESFJ 🤔
As an INFJ married to an INTJ, yeah. We're both pretty healthy, but every once in a while, it becomes a weird game of manipulation chicken, and it's not fun. Usually. Lol
Is it the best match? He always groups INTJ and INFJ together.
@@infdox9051 it's said to be one of the better match ups for the type, but I feel like any type pairing can be good or bad. For instance, my husband and I have a lot of the same strengths and weaknesses regarding our cognitive functions, so we can sometimes enable each other not to change or learn more sensing related things, especially. On the other hand, our F T difference helps us teach each other to be more open to our weaker trait.
@@ti9erlilly Can't be arguing every day in a relationship. If complete opposites and everyone pushes their stuff.
@@infdox9051 true enough, but again, I think that depends on the person, because even those with the same type can vary greatly in how they present themselves. My grandmother and my husband are both INTJ, but they are very much not the same in many ways. My dad is an INTP (who is honestly rather unhealthy), and though I struggle to deal with his dark thoughts, we have had many deep and wonderful conversations about life, death, and the universe. I'm not saying I would love to be friends with an ESTP. If I'm being entirely honest, they seem terrifying, though I have no idea if I've ever known one. That being said, I feel like it would be interesting and entertaining to be friends with an ENTP, and my brother and mother are both ENFP, and I have lots of fun talking and spending time with both of them. My best friend and my sister are both INFP, and we connect on so many levels. Strangely, I don't know many sensing types that I'm aware of aside from my mom's best friend, but I love her too, and she has taught me so much about organization. It's all about learning how to play to each other's strengths and work through each other's weaknesses in a positive way. At least that's how I see it.
As an INTJ, I'd be pretty interested to know what you learned from your husband and vice-versa.
The unhealthy INFP is a clear description of me. However, in addition to self-pitying, absolutely hating myself and "bathing in my own negative emotions", I also have some serious anger issues. And when I'm in a bad mood, I tend to think and daydream about pretty dark and destructive stuff.
Like, it is pretty common for me to want to see the world burn in eternal inextinguishable flame. I often imagine myself as one of the Four Riders of the Apocalypse. Such dreams bring me joy when I'm in a bad mood. It doesn't feel like sadism to me, more like desire for righteous vengeance.
Umm, maybe this is more than MBTI...
This really called me out...
I felt lost for a long time, going through life in a crappy job where I wasn't appreciated and often felt like I was the only one of my siblings not meant for better things. Day in and day out I felt lost and aimless, like I was living on autopilot and time was meaningless. The things that made me happy stopped working and I was cripplingly aware of my numbness. One day, out of sheer desperation, I made a last minute decision to take a trip out of town to a convention that was happening. The moment I arrived I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotions I hadn't felt in years. I spent the entire weekend just enjoying. It was only on the way back and felt the con buzz wear off that I suddenly started realizing that I was not only feeling stressed and upset, but everything around me literally looked to be in grey scale. I always thought that was just an aesthetic choice in shows but no apparently depressed people can actually starting losing the ability to see color. This freaked me out very very badly. I came away from this moment with 2 thoughts: Get a new job and get therapy. I had always hesitated on therapy since I thought I knew all the right questions and already knew the answers so what's the point of talking to someone? Yeah turns out I did not know all the questions or all the answers. Also realized I had such a low opinion of myself that I didn't see some of my "supporters" were making everything worse and some of my "enemies" were actually on my side the entire time. But I think the most important thing I realized is just how much it meant to have an outside party just sit and listen to me and not tell me I was over reacting. Sometimes, it's the small things that make all the difference in someones life.
I'm an infp but you're kinda scary even to me 😂😂😂 that sounds like my nightmares (?
Wow really?! I’m an INFP too that drowns myself with negative emotions, but I have a hard time expressing my anger lol
Frank, the example you put that “imagine that an INFP lives in household with people that want them to be ESTJ” it’s literally me. I am an INFP whose father it’s a ESTJ and whose mother is an INTJ and they want me to be more extroverted because, although my mother is an introvert, she has it quite balance (60% introvert, 40% extrovert) while I have 90% introvert and 10% extrovert :).
They also want me to be more thinking than feeling and hate how creative I am.
Hehe, I'm an INFP who was brought up by an ENTJ dad and ESTJ mom. XD
"Well, thoughts are the best things in you can have, they are like the lottery, you can have anything pulled out of the thoughts mail, from the spectrum that you have immediately on your mind" -a *healthy* ISTP.
INFP brought up by ESTJ and ESFJ here, my mom drives me insane alot of times! she can be very bossy, insensitive, and egocentric
It was the same for me. Hang in there and hold on to your true self. 🙏
@@jovan-noble-guy749 I love that!!! XD INFPs get a LOT of wild thoughts, so the idea of it being random thought mail is amazing!!
You hit the nail on the head. ENFP here. I feel like I have all these great ideas, but I can't get the motivation or the courage to go through with them. I'm scared of failure, and looking like a fool, and I do think that goes back to being treated like a was an air headed idiot by my dad. He was abusive and did a really good job at making me feel worthless and dumb, thus my consent daydreaming but never actually having the courage to do anything with it. I'm still trying to work on that. It's a process, but I'm doing better at it.
As an INFP, I grew up surrounded by XSTX people and I got to a point where I didn't understand myself, I felt useless, I used to ask myself why I can be normal like everyone are supposed to be.
This was before I found this channel. Now I know myself better and I gained confidence, I don't feel bad about myself anymore.
I have to stop saying the word *myself*
Same 😌✋
INFP are too self-conscious, that could be a blessing or a curse. Glad you are feeling good about being yourself now!
The last sentence 😂
I'm changing the words I say to myself 😁and out loud. Instead of good and bad it's acceptable and unacceptable. You can also use beneficial and un beneficial. I try to use challenge instead of hard. Possible is next on my list. Right now it's try to catch it and change it phase for me myself and I 😛
@@tracyzimmerman7912 tbh words good and bad are too reductive for me most of the time - it all depends on the narrative that im getting from my feelings and sometimes good and bad feels appropriate but other times acceptable and unacceptable like u said
my sister and I are literally the only NFs in our extended family (idk how that happened but ok) and we agree that its way harder to open up to the rest of the family for us than to eachother and expecially when most of our family are thinkers
I was a really unhealthy INFP since my childhood because of the environment in which I grew up. But thanks to the pandemic which gave me the time out I needed and now I don't think of myself as an alien like before. I am coming out of the self-hate phase and Now I really really love being an INFP ✨
love this. I am an INFP & I feel the same.
Ikr? Pandemic really helped me to figure myself out too 😂
my way of being an unhealthy INFJ consisted of becoming an unpaid psychologist, put my problems aside and dedicate myself exclusively to others. Also I tended to"sacrifice" myself for others, basing my self-esteem on this fact (or on the false belief that those who sacrifice themselves are somehow a "better" being). Sure it happened that I was manipulative at times, but not so often. Another very unhealthy behavior that unfortunately still happens to me is to isolate myself for months, lock myself up in my mind and live in an imaginary reality for fear of facing the real world which requires to be more operational and less theoretical. Personally this has been a big obstacle to me and the reason why I feel uncomfortable and inadequate to live in our society.
I feel you. As an infj, i would always make sure that no one gets upset while putting aside the fact that i get upset. Today i had a class. I made sure everyone was happy and satisfied and did everything that others needed. As i walked home, i noticed i become a way different person when i'm alone. It's like i fully sacrifice myself to make others happy. Maybe we would make great actresses if we keep going like this and pretend as if we are an esfp.
Its relate to me. Sometimes feeling too tired because of hearing others problem (plus at the end of the day i realized i have a problem too lol). But dont know how to stop myself to deep with others problem. The only way i can do is disappear for a while, its my only way to recharge my energy :")
yeaa same
do you think the unhealthy versions depend??
because i as an unhealthy infj wasnt manipulative but just a MAJOR people pleaser (lowkey still am)
ah and also have a hard time figuring out if im just an unhealthy infp
ahh i wish life wasnt so hard and i had a normal childhood 😭
Same.
Female ISTP - I've thought for the longest time there is something wrong with me, I've been treated like that A LOT. You're right Frank, I've retreated into my own head and just had enough of everything. I wanna become a hermit and never deal with anything EVER. I'm trying my best to change that for my daughter who I do care so much for. Maybe I can buy a pillow for screaming into periodically.
I know a healthy istp who is in mental health and people prefer to talk to her over feeler types. You have strengths like cool in a crisis. It's great you're working to change because ISTPs can be amazing at empathy.
@@Umeshukitsune That's cool 🙂 Thank you
Being resentful of people is so relatable. Sometimes we can feel like the whole world is against us.
Me, an unhealthy INFJ: *is manipulated constantly by abusive family members and therapist has declared I must eliminate all contact with them now and forever, but I don't want to hurt them, so the cycle continues*
I dunno if I'd prefer acting the way you describe it in the video... Probably? But my empathy is too strong, so I hurt myself for the sake of others... 😢 And I have also become extremely fearful of decision-making. The classic having tons of plans but never executing them.
Actually, if you can get away from that, it will help you enormously. If you (I have some overlap) internalize it, and can't figure out how to "detox" all of that abuse, the rage, and the anger, then your N will settle into a constant state of paranoia while the the F and T will overload and cause a very ugly feedback loop of negative emotions until that organized J rears it head. Then you look in the mirror one day, and see an Adolf Hitler looking back.
I appreciate that you don't want to hurt them, but it sounds like they have repeatedly and consistently hurt you. Cutting off contact with someone is nothing compared to being abused. Sure, their feelings might be hurt in the same way that a romantic partner's feelings would be hurt if you broke up with them, but they are not being violated, damaged, or prevented from living their lives in peace. It's just the end of a relationship. You always have the right to end relationships that are harmful to you. That's the opposite of what relationships are for. You can set boundaries and give people conditions for the treatment you will and will not accept from them if they want to maintain a relationship with you, and if they are not willing to respect that, then they forfeit the right to the relationship.
I feel you but in my case I just cut them out because people always come again if you do that. Of course I know this is unhealthy and I'm trying not to do it anymore.
I grew up in an abusive family too, so I kinda understand. Physical abuse, verbal abuse, even sexual harassment.. but despite all that, I did struggle to leave at first, because I cared too deeply.
Until one day, I get to the point where I felt that enough is enough, I have served them enough, and it’s time for me to leave, because I have bigger goals to achieve, to help others who truly needed my help. And I can’t help anyone without helping myself first.
I’m genuinely hope that you have already gotten out of the abusive relationship since then. 🙂
So true!!!
As an ENFP, I dont feel like myself when I am not ok... all my energy feels like drained. I dont even want to speak about the stuff that I love.
Same here. Sometimes, I want to hide in a cozy corner, turn on some music, and fester for a few hours.
“ Hohohoho” it was so accurate I laughed like that. If you’re wondering, the laugh means ‘OmGod offensive truth but so accurate’
ENFP who gets at time being drained…. Had a yesterday full of that.
As an INFJ who currently lives in a household of a ISFJ dad and a ESFJ sister, I can relate to the suppressing of oneself at times.
True
Yep. As an ISFJ i scared my INFJ friend away
@Skilly Lily Just another pain in the ass baselessly accusing people of being INFPs mistyped as INFJs lol.
@Skilly Lily How did you reach that conclusion? That she has Fi dom and not Ni dom?? You don't even know this person
@@Navi405 HOLY- THAT'S SO HARD-😭 how can you even live-😭😭😭 (im an infp with an estj mom, infj sister, and an esfp brother and it is "actually hard" to deal with especially because my infj sister and estj mom always tells me to go out of my comfort zone like go do public speaking and like tells me to do extroverted stuffs and yk the rest and my thoughts are like "it's not easy for an introvert like me😭" then i'll burst out crying alone because i'd feel like no one understands me- but no they love me
I'm an Enfp who finally has some momentum in life and is putting some energy into making success out of my creativity. It feels so good! The thing is tho, I have to admit that it's a constant effort to keep that up. I take the needed breaks but still always have to make sure I don't extend them beyond what is necessary. The struggle doesn't exactly end but the key is to keep struggling to stay motivated and inspired! Keep it up and every day that the energy is there say to yourself that you will try your very best. Doesn't work every time and that's ok....sometimes might you even over do it and burn out. It happens. I've learned not to beat myself up and to brush the dust off of myself for another try. Try again to be balanced. Eventually I've managed to get more inertia in life and I believe in my fellow enfp/entp sisters and bros.
One key belief that seems to help me is to acknowledge that it's always gonna be a struggle but you can either struggle uphill or struggle downhill. I also don't smoke none of that kush either so perhaps that has made a difference as well🤣👌😤🚭 and being around inspiring, refreshing, uplifting people can also give us energy to keep working and setting goals😊❤️
@@chickadddee very true! Thank you❤️ I've tried hard!!
I've been going through the same thing. Enfp my self. Spent 5 hours thinking and did nothing else yesterday. I've been unhealthy and unhappy with myself for I while. I'm finally starting to feeling that motivation. I overthink everything and quickly feel disconnected. I keep hoping for unrealistic things and my friends don't care half as much about me as I do them. I need someone to talk to. Someone who will listen. I hate feeling bad for myself. I want to be happy again. I think I've hit the bottom and soon I'll be on my way up,slowly. I get thinking, then I start spiraling. I start questioning myself and really have bullied myself 100 more than anyone else. I feel I'm not enough. I hope one day I will be.
Healthy: smug ENTP face
Unhealthy: crying ENTP wearing smug INTJ face mask
Also an ENTP. Grew up with people that had no idea how to treat me and my innovations turned into emotional manipulation for a long time. Sometimes I didn't even realize I was booby trapping other people's lives. It was toxic. I try to practice radical honesty now even though it leaves me feeling exposed.
Im an entp and i fully agree with this comment and the first reply!
Healthy: normal ENFP face
Unhealthy: *quietly puts on clown makeup*
Accuracy 100%
@@DarklyYours same
Thank you for doing this video, Frank. Ever since I got into MBTI stuff I was upset because of the INFP stereotype. Having dealt with depression myself and being out of it, I (more than anyone else) know a healthy INFP is not always depressed/fragile/emotional. I am glad you took the time to explain the difference between healthy and unhealthy types.
I don't think all INFPs suffer depression, but (as I mentioned above) I did. Curiously, when I got out of it, I realized the exact same thing you said in this video: “It's not only about my feelings”. I mean, I had the right to feel pain (familiar issues), but I understood people around me were not perfect and the fact that they don't match my emotional needs doesn't mean they don't love me in their own way. They feel too, in their own language.
And yes, just like you said, I overcame that alone (actually, God and my faith were there for me, but saying it in a mundane way, “alone”). I had to find it for myself. No one in my family was able to get me out of there. It took me years to be able to... be me with no guilt, with freedom. I am 96% introvert in a family full of extroverts. Not easy task.
I learned to keep my most inner emotions to myself. I learned to be careful about who I trust my fragile side. I learned to be wiser. I prefer following my heart and my instinct, but I like sticking to logic too. I can see problems with perspective and understand the other side too. Also, now I don't get things too personally. I connect better with my family and even when we disagree a lot of times, I communicate with them and I fight for what it's right (not only what I feel it's right LMAO). I still have some trouble with the S, but not with the T.
I can't say I am the healthiest INFP out there, but I feel I am in tune and aiming for the happiest an INFP can be. I don't have many friends (my best friends are an ISFJ and a INTJ and I am glad to say they respect and admire me as much as I respect and admire them), but that's fine for me. I don't need to be accepted by everyone. The people I know... Well, most of them come to me for advice (above all sensing of thinking types) when they don't know how to deal with a problem. Or when they are feeling pain but they don't even realize it. When I can guide them in some way, I feel really happy.
I think maybe that's the fireproof for INFPs. Learn to heal yourself to be able to heal others. And healing others is such an awesome thing.
Thanks again for the video, it was really interesting to watch and it will help (I hope) to clarify some misconceptions. Also thanks for the time you put into the editing and everything. Take care and hugs from Peru!
Edit: sorry for grammar mistakes lol
I believe he's right about the spectrum... because whenever I think of trying to manipulate other people, there's always that voice in my head telling me to stop and get myself together for a moment and sort this situation out in a healthy way.
Same!
Nothing wrong with displaying signs of growth. Don’t let your past deter your future.
I think I do manipulate people's emotions, but in a good way. I tend to try to calm others emotions, not anger or annoy them. When I was younger I may have been a little unhealthy with manipulation, but now I just everyone to calm down and be happy. Ironically it is hard for me to get myself to calm down and be happy 😒
Our boy FJ is a nice cameleon : videast, philosoph, psychologist, actor, scientist, doctor, artist, musician... 💙 Science ! & Art.
Edit : Thanks, seems I am an healthy INFJ.
It's difficult sometimes, but we have to admit, we can't control all the things or people, that the perfection doesn't exist in reality.
_SCIENCE!_
I LOVE INFJ
(INTJ) I like INFJs just the way they are and quite frankly I like the idea of a pupper master INFJ.
jonhny sims moment
@@johnknight9150 I like INTJ's, in how they are authentic and themself, to not fit in the concrete world, and surely we can understand each others, see the world in the way, their mind and intelligence.
I'm an infj. Today i had a class and i was all happy and cheered up everyone else and helped others. And then in the evening, as i walked home, i thought 'who am i kidding?'. I become a way different person when i'm around people and a way different person when i am alone. It's like i change my shape into the glass of others. I wondered why i try to make everything at peace even though it kinda upsets me. But it's true i really know how to manipulate others and it's dangerous.
Note: the relation to "rarity" is merely statistical. One example would be ESFP in Dead Poets Society.
Oh yeah, and some personalities having people don ' t change much: I ' ve been an ISTP for the majority of my life, and everyone distant from me says that my mind hasn ' t changed that much, and maybe it ' s because of some personality types always having the risk of falling of (the ESFJ falling of the chart drastically, or the ESTP neither falling off or climbing on). I have the conclusion that, i already learned this, just in a other way long ago.
NUWANDA 🤩
Since we're talking about health...
Happy mental health day everyone! 💛🥳🎉👍🏽😄
I first tested as ISTJ on the official MB in my first year of my accounting degree because I thought I was a certain way and wanted the be a certain way. I tested for a few years later as ENTJ and only recently, after focusing on being authentic journey, I am testing as ENTP. Your environment can make a huge difference on your testing. That's why being authentic to yourself is so important and shouod be cultivated
Lol I started off the biggest INFJ but after working hard for yrs on problem areas I started to test a over the place - INFP as I wanted to be less tortured lol, then ENFP as built extroversion, then ENFJ, amd now settled back firmly into INFJ as I'm honest with myself agsin :p Definitely what we want to be and focus on affects our score. Authenticity key
I got tested as an INFJ, but later found I am an INTJ after some time researching (no testing).
You're probably truly an ENTP. You can't truly change the cognitive functions you're born with; just slightly improve on the weak ones.
ENTP's and ENFP's are extroverted intuitives, with inferior introverted sensing. So they can't really consciously pull from their past experiences that well and really on their brains analyzing all the external possibilities at 100mph. That's why they have a tendency to come of as a little scatter brain and change their opinions or feelings of themselves, or events around, them day to day.
They're the most likely to mistyped themselves (like you seem to have done) because they're opinions and feelings on life matters change with the wind
I love how he goes “oh man” every time.
😂😂😂
So if you're an ENTJ dating an INFP and you're both in a bit of an unhealthy place, remember that you will not and you can not rely on your instinct of just bossing them into snapping out of it. The more you try, the further they dig in, and the more frustrated you get and dig in. It will not hurt to just go "that really freakin sucks yo" which is completely counter intuitive, I know, but trust me it. just. works. I don't know why, but it turns out that acknowledging others' feelings makes people put those feelings behind them. It's like magic, it's crazy, my mind was literally blown when I realised it.
Haha, well yes, it's important to have one's feelings validated and understood, and it does usually make people feel better when someone does that for them. This is really one of the most important elements of a healthy relationship. To try to boss someone into 'snapping out of it' is a harmful and toxic thing, not just for INFPs but for anyone, so by doing that, you only add fuel to the fire and prolong the bad feelings. Feelings are valid and important and always exist for a reason, and need to be allowed to be experienced and processed.
As an INTP, I agree with what was said. But I also notice at times that unhealthy INTPs get reaaaaallly lazy - like poor hygiene, never clean your room or change your underwear lazy. For example, sometimes during summers when I was a kid, I wouldn’t want to stop reading, and so I would lay in bed all day long reading without even taking a shower, and I’d even eat in bed and make messes that I wouldn’t clean up. I would only stop when my mom got after me. It’s as though you almost forget you have a body - so you never exercise or eat good food or get sunshine.
It’s honestly kind of amazing as I’m an INFJ, and my father is as well, so we can really just understand each other well, you know?? And as you’ve said in the beginning where it can be hard being in a family as one of the rarest personalities, it helps a lot having him with me, and I’m sure I make him feel the same way…
you are so lucky! :)
Infj too. 😁 Also glad for you! ❤️
Wowww an infj father =) wish the best for you two
Omg samee, we can talk about anything for literally for HOURSSS
I’m touched by your words. I couldn’t understand all psychological theories and philosophy
but I’m bowled over that you kept focusing on the good side of each personality, admirable indeed!
Thank you so much for all the videos. Your channel is one of my fav
As an INTP, I really like psychology topic, and talk about emotions is not a big deal, I only feel uncomfortable if I talk about my own emotions (working on it)
But glad to know my progress it was worth it ❤
Interesting. As an INFJ, I always assumed that everyone else was messed up! Not because I'm better, but because they don't seem to be a connected to the emotions of others as I am: they seem cold and uncaring.
Me ENFP growing up with ESTJ mom was quete an experience. If we weren't related we would be like biggest enemies and we sometimes were, but sometimes we bring out a different side of each other and it's nice.
Schools started and i already feel all my unhealthy habits, as an infp, catching up to me😭 we need to be strong yall cmon✊
Ikr, my first college year has just started to begin and my anxiety problem ( with all kind of stuff ) is already acting up :( Let’s stay strong together, we can get through this!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M IN THE EXACT SAME SITUATION I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY TAUGHT FOR TGE PAST 6 MONTHS AND THE EXAMS ARE ALMOST HERE I WANNA COMMIT NOT ALIVE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
@@axa7.77 same situation INTP here... school college anxiety are inseparable in my case😭😭😭😭
Yall its okay its just the beginning and uts hard but We've already done this so many times man this is not first grade(well i mean I don't think i was anxious about school in first grade)AND WE'VE ALWAYS SUCCEEDED or at least came out alive
We just need to zoom out a bit... everything seems to be out of place including our emotions but we just need to sit BACK and just...take a moment and chill. Just for a lil tho so we don't end up procrastinating lol lets be patient and tske things slowly, step by step. Everything will fall into place and we will get out lives together but slowly k?
Smooches to all of yall
@@iamtotallynotahamster same. Stared college a month ago and I already hate it and panic everyday 🙃
Frank James is reminding me of Kirk from Gilmore Girls; he has literally every job 😂
😆
Ha ha I appreciate that reference 😄
Love this comparison 😂
@@ATinyWarrior ahh yes lol
Or Thomas from Regular Show literally wearing different hats.
As an INFJ I don't really relate to this unhealthy INFJ problem. That actually sounds kind of cool, being a puppet master. Instead, when I'm in the grip, I feel like it's more like I get stuck in future planning and seeing connections. Sort of like how FJ describes ENTPs getting stuck in all of the cool amazing creative things they could do but don't. Except my problem is more like "Doesn't anyone realize that civilizations are like organisms and ours has entered its death phase? Behavioral sink, guys, behavioral sink! You think you're making choices but you're just a mouse in a tiktok mouse paradise, wake up! Anyway here's a short list of 47 19th century thinkers who agree with me that this is what's happening." And I have this delusion that if I can just find all of the connections, everything will make sense and I will understand the world and be able to tolerate other humans again. Really what I need is to go outside and touch grass, as the kids say.
absolutely same with me, although i figuered i sometimes manipulate people unknowingly and only realize that after i already manipulated them
Lol
I agree with getting stuck in the future. But also I kinda manipulate others too, but I always try to convince myself that that's the “right thing” to do for them and for everyone xD but at the end of the day it is what it is, manipulation. And I really hate that about my personality. Sometimes I even feel SO fake :'v
Exactly the same.
I'm infp and bruh, I can relate.
I'm amazed with my claircognizant shiz and people do what I tell them they will do. Like I will tell a scenario and then same thing happens to them for some weird reason. (I broke up too many relationships bc of my advice) Kinda manipulative in the back of my head and I'm developing god-complex, but it is what it is.
INFP here. Sometime around high school I learned to "turn off my feelings", which scared the crap out of me at first because I was used to wallowing in them. It isn't actually *off*, it's just ignoring them for the sake of focusing on other more important things and I think was actually really healthy.
ENTP is super accurate seriously
help
Yep it sure is.
Oh that’s literally me(ENTP) in a depressed mood😂
I have so many stuff that I wanna do in my brain and imagine doing it but not actually do anything.
Happy #mentalhealthday to every of the 16 personalities.
Up 💙
Weird you mention INFP raised by ESTJ. I’m INFP and I’m pretty sure my dad is ESTJ or ENTJ. My mom likely ISFJ. Both military parents. Not easy! Also we’re you singing the Welcome Back Kotter Song 😂
As an ISFP, when I was depressed and took the personality test, it showed me I am an ISTP
So.. I can tell this is really accurate
The aspect of "not being able to be yourself," or "thinking there's something wrong with you" makes me really wonder why anyone would Want to be a "rare" type.
I felt so alien most of my childhood, I genuinely thought I was the one in the wrong: I thought I had autism or some other form of condition that made it so my thoughts were too weird for other people whenever I tried to explain what was happening i my head.
I never felt like I really fit in, and like I was just observing the "humans" when they did things I really didn't understand the purpose of (tradition for the sake of tradition for instance).
Turns out I was just INFJ, and finding that out was a great help for me, but being rare isn't that great. x)
so true, sometimes i dont want to believe im Infj id rather be more common.. my childhood relates to this and i still do. but i started finding people like me, and it has gotten much better when someone finally at least tries to understand you and accepts the fact that you are different, and there is nothing freacking wrong with you. maybe its not great, but at least you will meet the right people, who you can trust and will accept you for your chaotic mind. the balance of life, sometimes bad things happen for the better, and we just have to be grateful, and accept the fact that "this is me, and only i can truly make it better or worse."
I really don’t want to diagnose you over the internet or make you more confused but, honestly that does sound like autism that could be checked out. Having autism can and likely does influence a lot of peoples type, and that’s okay. If you truly feel like an outsider looking in, and you don’t even feel fully human or normal, or you feel like you don’t understand a lot of things humans do? Yes it may be autism. And that’s not a bad thing, nor does it make you the problem. Of course I absolutely don’t know your whole history, maybe you’ve even had an analysis done and they said you don’t have autism. But like... autism and other conditions can absolutely shape MBTI. For example, I’m an INFP, but a lot of my ENFP tendencies come from my ADHD. And that’s fine, having ADHD is a part of me.
I'm an ESTJ and I don't get why some INFJs are excited about being only 2% of the population, especially since that's still about 150 million people on Earth. And if they've met 100 people in their life they've probably met another infj. But I get that hypothetically it explains why it feels like no one relates, even though mathematically that's not the case.
I’m an ENFP and you actually just described my current situation with the unhealthy version omfg. I recently graduated college and can do so many things but I’m just kind of idling because I love living in my imagination and I love possibilities more than things that are concrete (and I love wacky tobacky, yes I feel quite called out) but hopefully this is my wake up call. I think my fears of failure, embarrassment and commitment all probably play into this 😅
An Infp who has strict parents that are Entj and Estj, trying to fit in to everyone else and showing a different side to different people to please them.
Woww, pressure from both ENTJ and ESTJ can be quite overwhelming at times, and I'm sure they must be really proud of you for who you are! I'm an ENTJ myself so I can quite understand the pressure hahahahh. I'm sure there's people who appreciate ur authentic side too, hope you can find someone who values the true side of yours 💖
@@angelineang2617 thanks! :)
@@eaindra4477 Most welcome ;))
Thanks God I had so many good class mates in high school, if they were like middle school ones I would be a very unhealthy INTP. I can not thank enough especially my ENTJ, ENFJ, ESFJ and ISTP class mates, they had the best effect on me! They cured my depressed and transformed my anti-social self to an introvert who yeah has problems to show his feelings, but at least is happy! Thank you my dear class mates, even if you'll never read this comment, you are still the best thing to happened to me!
As an introvert with very extroverted parents, I was always forced to socialize constantly, call friends regularly, and my parents thought that I hated them because I needed more alone time than them or my siblings. This lead to me having a drained social battery 100% of the time. I also (as mentioned in the video) thought that something was wrong with me, because I didn't enjoy socializing like the rest of my family. It wasn't until after a lot of relationship problems that I figured myself out thanks to my aunt. Now, also thanks to my aunt, my parents are more understanding, and accept me more for who I am.
Glad for you. I've been there
as an intp being forced to socialize makes me just hate everyone around me & made me hate my mom for a long time
16 personalities as celebrity.
16 personalities as doctor/ scientists.
Bcz "science"😂
U look cool in apron ;)
I believe I am INFP, after doing some self‐analyzing and a promising‐looking test. But I'm almost at the edge of a more thinking approach which whom I find myself eager in the enviroment around me. I don't want myself to think to far ahead with my ideas because I'm 98% sure I'll get disappointed, and future would be scary if pointing only to something so hard to achieve. I believe I want to find my own stability in the real world before making my dreams and passions come true. I'm also not very determined, which kinda sucks, but I can deal with it. It's a lot of patience, but I hope I'll get my chance of doing what I care about, without worrying about the real world issues.
The thumbnail makes you wonder: oh boy, what did he find out ?!?!? 😂😆
OH BOY! 🧿 🤣🤣🤣🤣
INFP here: I should probably stop repetitively listening to I Just Wasn’t Made for These Times ( by The Beach Boys). 😅
that's a mood
Shit i do the exact same thing guess INFP really are similar 😭😭
LITERALLY ME
I’m an INFP and I love The Beach Boys too 😂😂😂😂😂
16P interacting as siblings - im infp and sisters are isfj, esfj, and intj.......so frustrating!! and 16P as cats and dogs. 🤪
Zut alors! That's one hell of a sibling line up! My heart goes out the your ESFJ sister especially haha
Types in a healthy vs unhealthy state in a single word:
I. Introverts:
ISTJ-ISFJ:
A) Unhealthy=rigid
B) Healthy=flexible
INTJ-INFJ:
A) Unhealthy=manipulative
B) Healthy=protective
INTP-ISTP:
A) Unhealthy=critical
B) Healthy=constructive
INFP-ISFP:
A) Unhealthy=depressed
B) Healthy=inspiring
II. Extroverts
ENTJ-ESTJ:
A) Unhealthy=domineering
B) Healthy=cooperating
ENFJ-ESFJ:
A) Unhealthy=needy
B) Healthy=caring
ESTP-ESFP:
A) Unhealthy=reckless
B) Healthy=courageous
ENTP-ENFP:
A) Unhealthy=speculative
B) Healthy=resourceful
Note: The choice of the words is in relation to the inferior function in an unhealthy state, and in a healthy state is in relation to the domminant ability.
Lemme tell u as an infp raised in a household with an infj mom, infj sister, and estj father, being the only perceiver in a house full of judgers ABSOLUTELY aggravated the unhealthy "nobody understands me and I dont fit in" to quite a degree
So accurate!! I can never thank the people closest to me enough who are there for me when I sink into those INFP emotional depths. The sad thing is that I somewhat enjoy being in that place, depending on the situation, while knowing I can’t stay there, so I ask for help but know I’m making it really hard for the people trying to help me. 😞 At least I have supportive people in my life who are usually willing to try. But that thing about “almost having to do it themselves” is super accurate. At the end of the day, I can hash out something I’m feeling with someone or with myself but there’s always an element of me either being ready to come out of the darkness or not and I have to give myself time and the right conditions to actually do it. It can be unpredictable when I’ll be done but when I’m done, it’s like I just know it.
I thought I was the only one who found that dwelling in these feelings was comforting in way a. It’s really strange and it happens every so often. Don’t worry though, from an INFP to another, we’ll make it through somehow
I’m an INFP with an ISTJ narcissistic dad, and an ISFJ mother who is an enabler and hyper-critical. I’ve been struggling with depression my whole life, but now I understand the “why” of my issues and can come to terms with it all. It sucks though. I can never seem to move past it permanently.
If you feel you're not able to move past it, that might be partly why, sometimes happiness is a choice. Reminds me of Jesus asking the disabled man, "Do you want to get well?" before he healed him. Because it seems like some INFPs want to cling to their negative feelings too much even if you know it's unhealthy. Hope you feel better!
Bingo! I met such a nice ESTJ once!
Thank you very much for this. I can see I was a very unhealthy INTP for years and that I have managed to become much healthier over time, although still far from truly healthy. I'm favoriting this video and I'll come back to it in the future to check on how I'm going by then. 🙂
As a fellow INFJ I'm gonna declare you one of the most handsome INFJs.
Agreed😌
I think in a past video he said he was a istp
@@studiooftheoldwind137 he is an infj lmao
@@adsonxo oh he actually cool
@@studiooftheoldwind137 just because he an infj????????BRUHHHHHH
Thank you so much for the insert speech about INFP & depression, you actually Totally Nailed It.
I think it's also important to point out that your unconcious\subconscious personality types can be healthy\unhealthy too & if you resonate with more than one of these groups it might be worth looking into further. For example, I'm an INFP but I could most definitely resonate with some of the unhealthy examples from a few of my past actions for ENFJ, ESTJ, and ISTP.
Wow. You just described me almost exactly. I just finally realized this week that I'm INFP. But I grew up in a home where it was only acceptable to be ISTJ. It took me until the age of 47 to finally realize that I'm actually INFP.
yeah, as an INTJ sometimes I can be a bit manipulative. I just hate when I lose control about something around me. I'd rather give up sooner before everything gone wild.
I'm an EXTREMELY cinic ENTJ, like really: I always score tremendously high levels of T and abyssally low in empathy/morality ecc. (both in traits tests and type tests). At the same time I also have a quite high Fi, like I'm very aware of my feelings, I'm just SO used to people walking over them that I actually don't give a fuck about almost anybody and their feelings. In general I've always been hypercritical and rational, but I just used to be curious (more like an ENTP), while know that I have to get stuff done I just think that making decisions according to feelings instead of logic is just dumb, a waste of time, especially if actually nobody will care about mine. So at least I wanna get things done right and I'm not just being an asshole for the sake of it. Sometimes I'd really like to be even colder, but those few times that I care about somebody I'll just give him/her too much importance and I get fucked up once more.
This hits home.
I’m not like an emotionless ENTJ/ESTJ but I just expect people to walk over me at this point
I'm an ENTJ, and I TOTALLY AGREE that we're the same 😂👌 Tbh taking emotions into consideration really ticks me when they don't even get their shit done on the deadlines they agreed. Like - what else do you want more when you broke the trust I gave you?? And bcoz of this dumbfuc delaying the team progress is good enough for me to be super SUPER furious and stressed, things might not get done in time if someone procrastinates right!!
Sounds like depression tbh, as an INTJ I've been feeling similar of late and it's coincided with a severe downturn in my mental health
INTJ here. This sound very accurate to me. Personally, I have noticed that I do not on purpose try to "manipulate" others, but the way I put myself and my opinions out there, it seems others are somehow very reactive to it and in a way, they let themselves being "manipulated". Hard to explain, but this is how I feel and see it.
Did I just get manipulated now?
Our western society discriminates introverts and puts way too much emphasis on self advertisement.
I do agree with his picture of the INTJ. Especially, in hostile environments feelings get suppressed and it's survival mode. Then it's really hard to reconnect with feelings. I'll admit that I always judge people if they are useful to me or society as a whole. I do show often an altruism, but it's a twisted one in that it's more of an investment in an environment I want to live in rather than being glad to help others without ulterior motives. Thus my altruistic side is very specific and localised. I would never send money abroad to fill starving mouths for day, I much rather invest in a pleasant neighbourhood even if it doesn't save a single life....
I'm still trying to figure out what type I am and the unhealthy version of INTP and ISTP describes when I'm under a lot of stress.
Since I hit puberty I became a really irritated person, and I tend to be mean when I'm like that. It's like everthing bothers me and when everybody is happy is so stupid, and I wish people would leave me alone and not even look at me. The very presence of another person bothers me. This happens mostly when I'm stressed and under a lot of pressure. When I'm in a good mood I love to talk and I'm fine doing anything, but I get mad easily.
Also, when I'm at that place of being isolated, mostly when I'm trying to finish an assignment, I get overwhelmed. It happens bc I leave everything for the las minute and then I'm like "Why am I like this, I hate myself"
Part of that could just be being in school, I'm an ESTJ and enjoy working but I hated school even though I did well at it. But when you find what you love to do as an adult (whether it's your job or raising a family or your hobbies) you still have to put in work and do things you don't want to do but there's more freedom than school.
Also I became more organized in high school and a little less shy through working in hospitality, so it might be too soon to be sure what your type is.
Man. The beginning of this video really *spoke* to me about my type and my situation growing up. I am an INFP, and I was raised in a household of an ESTJ and ISTJ if that fits my dad and it was HORRIBLE. so I'm coming out of pretending and trying to be myself now! You really hit the nail there! Especially INFJ which is my best friends over here. Eek. Really explains a lot! Thanks for the great examples you provided! Transforming from Unhealthy to Healthy. Maybe my parents wanted me to be a ESTJ or my mom shes the dominating one but I pushed and pushed. Having my Ni (Intuition) and my F(feelings) bottled up,but occasionally coming out and unhealthy ways. T logic screws me over a lot. Thinking from my head Overly too much was not healthy for me. And I never judge myself based off of anything in the external. That is ridiculous! Thank you! 💙😇
Really, you never judge yourself based on the external? Isn't that code for saying you're always right? Let me know if you meant something else. I think that's what ESTJs and INFPs have in common, tendency to think we're always right when sometimes we need to listen to the other side first.
I am an INTJ and I’m not manipulative, but I am too socially isolated and quite close minded, too based on first impressions. I have understood now that people have different opinions (mostly politically), but people often have immense hate and disrespect along with it. I can be arrogant at times but I try hard not to show it. I hope I will be a healthier INTJ soon
I can agree there. Having an understanding of different people with varying opinions is one thing but trying not to object or push in our opinions is even harder. Although I'm getting quiet good at ignoring that now. Still have that understanding but now I choose not to manipulate or explain my way through.
It's a tough journey, but I have faith in you, internet stranger :D
@@izukumidoriya-ok3np I would argue it the duty of those around people with unhealthy opinions to dissuade them. If someone believes killing children is okay, that is an opinion I can't simply say I'm okay with people holding. For less important things people have a right to an informed opinion, but that doesn't mean believing something they WANT to be true is true because they want it to be so, it means understanding some level of nuance and forming an educated reasoning for said belief.
Edit: also how can one ever truly understand their motives? Maybe you guys are better than me, but when I act I often question whether or not I acted with in accordance to bringing about the outcome I desire or that the feeling that moved me was a genuine concern for others.
@@jhemp oh gosh I think I heavily misunderstood you on that opinion part. I didn't mean it like that. Obviously any type of harm to anyone is wrong and unjust. I meant opinions on general things, where one side can't be "correct/right". It heavily depends on how you choose to look at it. We tend to think we are on the "right" one but not everyone will always agree, no matter how you put it. That's the ground I try to be in whenever arguing/explaining.
Also, I really can't explain it but I have my motives and the sense of right and wrong clear whenever I act. I tend to base them on a personal logic or rather what should be done. If an outcome is worth it or not that is the prior concern generally 🤔
What do you think you act on? Ik it's not possible to have a logical explaination for every action but there has to be an instinct/principle?
@@izukumidoriya-ok3np I usually assess the situation and make a decision that is most likely the one that I feel will have the best outcome at the time, sometimes that means more selfish outcomes, others more altruistic. Though the question I always have at the end of the day is why I placed someone else's needs higher than mine, is it simply that I didn't want to deal with guilt, are the feelings genuine, is this because having the person as a friend is an asset. How can you really know? I understand we can tell ourselves that what we believe is true, but how can anyone be sure. People are constantly manipulated by unseen forces and those least willing to acknowledge them are the most likely to be manipulated because they are incapable of seeing the outside influence. Knowing this, how can anyone be sure they do anything for any reason in particular.
Make no mistake, I'm mostly speaking philosophically. I've accepted certain values matter to me and certain affronts to those values spark a reaction in me, but there are considerable reasons to question our motives and to distill the essence of ourselves and ensure we are not being overly neurotic.
@@jhemp I can't answer for you, but I'm pretty sure for me it's a sense of trust of whether that person has helped me in the past or sometimes (thou very rarely) out of pure kindness that I'm willing to put their needs above mine (that too happens quite rarely because naturally, I am my first priority)
Most of the people I know have a strong sense of ideals they act upon. Be it kindness, sacrificing nature, beliefs in god/karma. And everyone questions their motives or even faith at times, but there's always something that comes naturally to us that cannot be reasoned with, it's human nature. You'll get to it eventually, just keep at it.
ISFP raised by T types who were not just toxic but straight up abusive. I just feel defeated in adulthood and like I'm trying to survive. Sometimes, like the video describes, I just want the whole world to leave me alone. My parents mocked me for being introverted and attacked my capabilities in the hopes of "making me less sensitive" and teaching me that the world will be cruel to me, but the world has been nicer to me than they have. My innate gifts for art and caring deeply for animals/children were not celebrated or nurtured as I was growing up. These interests were actively discouraged in favor of science and team sports. I had to fight to be myself constantly and justify myself constantly. From their perspective, because I wasn't like them, I wasn't right and wasn't going to be prepared for life. None of their attempts to punish me for introversion/sensitivity or force me into group settings taught me people skills-- I only learned to talk and relate to people when I reached adulthood and started doing things my way, on my own terms. The physical and emotional abuse stays with me too and has made me struggle in intimate relationships. If you are T parents and have an ISFP child, maybe consider that the best way to launch them in life is to celebrate what they're naturally good at and interested in, like you would any child. And obviously don't be violent towards them.
ISFP married to an ENTJ. I used my feelings to make sense of the world around me, basically my feelings were my reality in stressful situations. After I got married, my husband helped me realize that I was backing up my opinions with feelings a lot and that I sounded “illogical” sometimes because I wasn’t backing up my feelings with any proof. And I often WOULD have proof or facts to back me up, but my feelings were so much more important to me since they had become the basis of my reality, and I would spend my time explaining how I felt instead of backing it up with logic (“illogical, logical…my husband sure sounds just like his type, right? 😂). This has made me healthier, since now when I have such strong feelings, I stop and examine whether or not I can back up these feelings with a reason for having them, and it has helped to keep me in reality instead of spiraling into a frenzy of negative emotions about something that’s actually just in my head.
With the first sentence I was worried about another story about marital incompatability but I'm so glad it wasnt :D Its great knowing how you can strengthen your weaker points with a partner strong in them
@@starfoam9467 yes, you absolutely can! 😊
INTJ here, I wish my unhealthy ESFP sister learned or thing or two from me and started using her Te, sigh...
Wow, this really hits home. My ISFP best friend from time to time would come to me (INTJ) with some stuff based solely on his feelings and nothing else and always get me astonished, because I would waste a lot of time trying to solve a situation with extroverted thinking, when that situation had no logical basis at all. We both learned with each other, mainly me. Because he keeps using zero logic on his decisions most of the time. But I'm glad thinks work out for you guys.
@@nataliyasavchuk2737 If it helps, I was in my late 20s when I started tapping into it. I’m 32 now and still getting the hang of stopping to think through my feeling logically! I don’t know how old your sister is, but maybe over time and through life experience she’ll mature more emotionally and mentally, and want to tap into her Ti!
As an INFP, I was in a relationship with an unhealthy ENTJ for 8 years & it took a terrible toll on my psyche. My feelings & wishes were constantly dismissed & he would provoke negative reactions from me to prove his point. It was very much an empath vs narcissist dynamic.
I'm now married to an INTJ and his tertiary Fi can be challenging at times, but nowhere near as difficult as inferior Fi in the ENTJ.
I feel directly called out from the beginning because I'm an INFP 15 year old with an ESTJ father, and he always tells me to stop looking at the big picture and that I should just look at something for what it is, rather than being immersed in the concept. He especially gets surprised whenever I'm listening to a generic song on the radio and I start day dreaming (I occasionally tear up just from the melody alone). And every time it's just us in a conversation, it always ends up with him yelling and me trying to calm him down, only to end up with me raising my voice (which I hate doing), and occasionally crying because of how skewed his view of me is or simply because he said something in a mean way. *I can't even wear my favorite beanie in the house because it's seen as rude.* (Mum's ISFJ though so there's a little bit of middle ground, but even then, borders are still tight)
I'm also an INFP with an ESTJ father. It's tough. I don't even like being in the same room as him because he can always find some way to criticize me no matter what I'm doing. I finally got worked up enough last week to tell him that he is insensitive, which he seemed surprised at and a few minutes later he said "I'm not insensitive, I'm practical" (two very different things in my book, but at least I got him thinking). Honestly, I think ESTJs are the least self-aware type and they don't know (and sometimes don't care) when they hurt others. If you tell him straight up that you function differently and point out when he does/says something hurtful, maybe he will improve.
an ESTJ has horrible Fi and the funniest part is that they are the most sensitive people when in grip because they ignore it instead of embracing it unlike an FP
I'm sorry you deal with that, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger (as long as he's not being physically abusive, doesn't sound like he is). It's not okay for him to yell at you but try to remember he (probably) doesn't hate you and he gives advice because he's trying to help you become a better person, whether he's right or not I don't know but sometimes it is healthy to not get too sidetracked. I didn't get along with my mom as a kid but we basically get along now, and we both shared part of the blame for arguing. You can't necessarily change how someone acts but you can change how you let it affect you. I believe in you.
That's amazing that right off the bat you mentioned an infj trying to be an istj. That was me. My mom is an istj, and very fun and loving and kind, but I was just a mystery to her, and still am. My whole family tends toward t, so I felt like I was an emotional wreck all the time. Looking back, I was a pretty normal teenage girl, and even overcame some pretty nasty situations better than expected. Thank you for this!
I'm an INFP and my extravert percent is 47 and introvert is 53% in recent years is when I started becoming healthy and learning to do my own thing. It's such a good feeling and I'm very proud of how far I've come in life and I'm only 22 right now☺️ but yeah teen years were a horror show for me.
Oh god the unhealthy INFP really hits me hard because there will be some days were that perfectly sums me up
As an istj I’m definitely in the middle (leaning towards unhealthy) because while I do like freak out at the idea of my sister one day going to collage and leaving me forever, I do think I’ve gotten better at handling SOME more immediate change that I know I just have to accept
When I was a kid, I got upset when my sister or friend changed their appearance (like hair cut, hair dye, makeup) or nickname. 😓 Now, I find it a bit funny, but I was very bothered at the time.
@@aprilhelm518 My nickname in was "panther" because of my naturally dark black hair, but now they call me "besa" because a friend of mine has a pet bee named "besa" because my attention flies away like a bee when i talk to my friends, some people even mix my old and my new nicknames and call me "besa bee" . And that ' s the history of my two nicknames.
@@jovan-noble-guy749 I eventually had a couple of nicknames with my friends. But for some reason I had a large initial reluctance to call someone by a shortened version of their name (normal stuff like Sam for Samantha, Kat for Katherine, etc.) or honestly anything other than what I'm used to referring to them by, and I preferred to use full names since it just made sense to me. And also, if I have a nickname, it's probably just something I might want friends to use or... whoever learns in for that context or something.
@@jovan-noble-guy749 that's cute
"oh the world is awful. I don't belong in the world. I will never be able to get along with others. I just don't fit in" DAMN!! That's literally the words I used when I get depressed as an Unhealthy INFP😂
It's extremely difficult to not be an unhealthy INTP bc society doesn't like our way of thinking 🙄
Edit: I'm just realizing how passive aggressive this sounds, I was probably having a bad day 😅 sorry
Isfp here and I feel you.. but don't worry, some of those "society" are not even healthy themselves 🤗
How would it be society's fault if your behavior is "unhealthy"? Do you mean it's difficult to not be PERCEIVED as unhealthy since society doesn't approve of you? Or are you really saying that your behavior is society's fault?
@@a-dwi True! and thank you :)
@@MJ-gm7km Yes I meant the second one (Si and Fe can be developed but they aren't our strongest points lol)
@@Lea-ov8vq btw I just realized that it's world's mental health day, I know Frank regularly premiere some vid on Sunday but is it really coincidence tho? 🤔
Next you should do turbulent vs assertive personality types!!
10:05 as an ENFJ, this is the perfect description of myself, earlier today at work.
10:30 why yes, I do transform into an ENTJ sometimes when I'm really pissed off
I'm an ISTJ, and my hubby is an INFJ. How we get along... it was a long struggle. Understanding the different personalities helped me a lot in dealing with his "theories" and manipulations. He also learned how to give me space when I'm on my manic mode: most common is stress cleaning and labelling everything in the house.
As an ISFP I try to distract myself when I am really upset. But when I do try to deal with my feelings I usually express to myself all of the things I'm feeling some things more than once. Try to make sense of it, try to think about how the other person may have felt and try to remember what is actually true. It's a long and not fun process and that is why I usually try to distract myself until I forget all about it.🤷
I do the exact same thing so I do lots of retail therapy 😅 - ESFP
@@cheetopuppy6188 That's so ESFP. XD
Right? As an ISFP I can agree that we're our own therapist
"When the INFP / ISFP get into their own minds... Their own feelings, it is hard to pull them out from the outside. They're gonna have to do it themselves. That's why they can really spiral out of control..."
INFP: analysis is completely on point here.
I’m an ISTP and this is so accurate…
frr samee
INTP here! Durring COVID times I did display a few of those unhealthy traits but I've gotten better now! To any other INTPs or even ISTPs I recommend finding an Extroverted friend to "adopt" you. I have been "adopted" by and extrovert and its so nice and refreshing to go out and be social with her and I've gotten much better about talking to people and doing things since we've been friends!
I needed this video 3 years ago when I frikken failed out of uni 😭 my ENFP ass was just chilling imagining how cool it would be to work as a game designer than actually doing the work
we all are united in hands of him, he treats all of us really good
I'm so afraid of my present and my future which DEFINITELY WILL go in shambles if I don't do anything about it but look at me here sitting all day watching relatable mbti memes and RUclips videos.
What a Time to be alive~~
I don't feel anything, you don't feel anything..no more emotions!!! 😂😂 (me, as an ISTP on an average day)
This is really personal, but I have seen myself slowly decay over the years of my life to an unhealthy INFJ. I live with very extroverted and strict parents, friends at school are all krappy, and I'm starting to get frustrated with how society treats people. I've noticed I get angry more easily and more manipulative so I can get past that situation or give emotional relief. I have also wanted to "door slam" people more often. I know I am doing this, it's just after years of this, and being an INFJ, it's really exhausting. I'm working towards being a healthy INFJ rn, and I'm trying to be more open with my feelings to everyone so I just don't blow up. First time ever saying this to anybody, to a whole community actually, hahaha. Hope you're having a good day to whoever is reading this, and thank you for reading this.
-INFJ
im infj and fuck i just realized i manipulated a situation, to make my sister appreciate me more or/and change her view of me just because i wanted someone to understand me. realizing the harm i could do in my depressive state, really just makes me to turn back and fight the feeling of letting depression win (yes i am diagnosed w severe depression)
my worst fear is becoming a bad, and... manipulative person. sometimes i just dont even realize it. i know what im doing but i start making excuses, or just dont see it as manipulation and become blind to the causes and concequences before i just rethink that decision again.
i hate taking advantage and hurting others. so fucking bad.
I kind of want to comment on the unhealthy ISTJ: When it comes to worrying about the future... putting it out of my head actually seemed to be the only way for me to accomplish anything today.
Yeah
Am I unhealthy?
1:18:
- Yes.
One of me:
- But...
Other of me:
- *I SAID YES, HUMAN, STAY AWAY*
(INTP here, if you're wondering)