Expat life: I feel like I don't belong
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- Опубликовано: 13 сен 2024
- Have you ever felt like you couldn't fit in? The sense of belonging is something that all of us, expats, have to deal with. In this video I approach the topic and try to share with you a bit of my struggles and experience while living abroad for a couple of years. I hope it helps!
I have lived as an expatriate my entire life, born into a Somali family, raised in Dubai, and then moved to Germany for university. Now at 25, I have finally graduated, but I struggle with my own sense of identity. I find myself adapting my behavior depending on the cultural group I am with, whether it's Arabs, Somalis, or Germans. I am fluent in Somali, Arabic, English, and German, yet I still feel like a fraud and doubt that I will ever truly fit in. It's ironic how people often idealize multilingualism as a way to bridge cultures, when in reality, it can lead to significant cultural disorientation and a perpetual feeling of not quite belonging, at least in my experience.
I feel like an outsider at home, at least when your away you truly are an outsider and you can watch the world matter of factly.
I left home at 16 and have been an expat all my life. Now 53 years old I moved to my home country 6 months ago. I can honestly say that the place I feel most alone and most a stranger, is home.
That's a very common feeling shared by all immigrants like you.
So good to hear my own thoughts coming out of someone else's mouth! I am a Brazilian living 5 years in Germany now. Just moved to a new city (again), and passing through some of those hard days you mentioned. I am glad I searched with the right words to find you here. We are all on the same boat, far from special struggles, listening to you made me look forward to tomorrow again :) thanks for sharing!
Such a good video! I have to remind myself sometimes why I left my home country. Likewise, I had no idea what to expect as I started growing up in a foreign environment while feeling guilty about the people I left behind. Belonging seems to be an ever-moving target. I agree, that acceptance of our chosen lifestyle is a path to feeling more "at home." Flexibility is key instead of holding on to a static identity. Your words are encouraging!
This is true for so many of us. Thanks for sharing in a heartfelt way. Most people are suffering alone with the feelings that you described. Thanks for creating a community of expats who share similar journeys in life. Good luck to you and all those who watch your videos 🙌
Felt like this forever, Thank you for sharing -Well said!! agree 100%, love the music choice and the layout - to just become an Expat is to belong to a group who never gave up and kept on going! we are a unique bunch, our inability to "fit in" is a blessing once you go within and open
Thank you so much ❤️ I am glad we can all relate in this, it is sometimes really but knowing we are not alone gives us that extra strenght to keep going! Yes, being open is exactly the key! Thank you so much for watching!
Same here, but I am learning that we don not have to belong to a specific place. No matter where we are, we can always meet our basic needs and feel connected with nature and people, the latter is hard when you are an introvert, but not impossible. It is important that your emotional stability does not depend on external circumstances.
You are so right! You used just the right words!
Thank you so much for watching and for sharing!
I cried watching this video. You expressed exactly what I needed to hear. I’m a new expat and today was rough. I sat in a chair and hid from the world with no idea what I was feeling, except that it wasn’t good. I feel things as an expat I have never felt before and it can be hard processing those emotions. Thank you so much for awakening in me what I needed to realize. I really am grateful.
Maybe if you started calling yourself by the correct name: you're a New Immigrant.
@@isamukim1693 Maybe if you look up the literal definitions of expat vs. immigrant, you wouldn’t look like such a bozo. There are literally English language differences between the two words, despite your own opinion on them.
An issue behind so much expat and dig nomad media- you address it so well. Thanks for doing this. It seems that once the trajectory is set in exploring many places, locals that you meet tend to not relate because they did not have that range of experiences. It seems to start with not feeling belonging and it definitely seems to lead to this feeling too. But adventures are certainly had- experience of the extra ordinary in place of belonging I guess.
When vacating and exchanging one's own culture and language for another, it takes much time and effort to make it work. It's never easy. As I've always said "Patience is a virtue perfected when living abroad!"
wow! this is what I really needed to hear. Thank you thank you thank you
I very much enjoyed this video essay. I have not moved from my home country but if I decide to do so, I think this video will come in handy
From Scandinavia. Lived in some Scandinavian countries, Canada, the U.S and went to south America and Asia. Glad i did and I will move soon again. I mean.. I feel like an expatI even in my own country. Have an idea what I am searching for more at this point. It`s about finding that place, right? :) You did hit a nerve with this video. What is your country of origin and how long have you been an expat and where have you been?
girl you made me cry 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Omg 😭 I hope the video helped somehow ❤️
Mari. What you're talking about is the "love and belonging" step on Maslow's hierarchy of needs. What I will say is in my own country I had at least some sense of belonging even if I took this for granted. Likewise in the UK, I felt a decent amount of acceptance from people in the community, at work or just in general. Let's just say I never felt so totally isolated in either of these countries. However in Central Europe, If I could rate my experience out of 10 here, specifically relating to "Love and belonging" I would give it about a 1/10. It hasn't gotten much better either in the 15 years I've been here. I very much feel like some kind of Marsan living here rather than a relatable human being. It's not just the language, it's more than that. Likewise it isn't the culture either. It's more than that. I sent you a request on instagram, and would like to tell you my full story, and perhaps you can somewhat relate to it.
Oh ok, I am gonna check this out, thank you so much! I second this, we have some sense of belonging inherent to our relationship with our home country. I am glad you had a good experience in UK. And oh gosh, 15 years is a long journey there and I totally believe you that it might be difficult to experience this for so long. But I am sure you are not the same person of 15 years ago and I hope you found a way to deal with it and build your own happiness spite of that. Of course I wanna hear your story 😊
Thank you so much for this great insight!
I really needed to hear this.
i get ya. blahdiblah, 9 years here in eastern europe, 10 more before i can leave, unless i abandon my child here, likes that's a choice. The hard part for me is the realization that the misfit is not limited to those i've met but rather to the mindset. I will never fit here, i have come to understand their thinking & I have no desire to contort my mindset to such a level. Great words thank you after30, you are right. For me i am self isolating from this place to preserve spirits for my child & another time. Easy enough to do in this place anyway, the only time i open my mouth to speak is to police after the many & on going assaults from locals not willing to share their heaven with outsiders. Good luck, there is beauty everywhere, in nature at least. You'll find your click one day, keep true to yourself, spirits up & keep searching :)
I love this video! Thank you much for sharing all this information! Are you going to create more?
Thank you so much 🥰 yes there are more coming soon! There are many videos waiting to be edited, but since I work full time it's been really hard to find time. But I am planning on posting a new one this March 😁
Yes, we will never be the same.
Thank you ❤
I don't even need to watch
I don't belong
All my fam is in the north of England
I've lived in Australia for 12 years
But I've not found my people there either
I'm always on the outskirts, on the periferals of groups, social even, friends groups.
Everyone else seems to be able to do it
I never meet ppl, ,men, partners.
I don't know how to do that what ever country I am in
❤🙏
100% agree
Where are you originally from?
I am from Latin America :)
How are you doing now?
How are you doing now? Much love ❤️
My dear Lena
Why you have to belong somewhere?
I feel like I dont belong this planet :)
I can relate :)
Had that feeling all my life, started belive in Jesus at 30, still at 61 feel like a stranger sometimes, but now I know: ”heaven is your real home”. Wish you Gods grace & peace