This came at just the right moment for me literally minutes. My dad got me into the commercial roofing trade and passed away within a year, in all honesty I was crying a few minutes before this feed came out. Confidence is something I've struggled with my whole life and I'm now 50. I eventually got into finish carpentry but I just wanted to say God bless you and I love that you mentioned Christ.
Hey Semja sorry about your Dad and I'm sorry that it's been a half century and your still struggling with confidence. In the video Scott said courage goes hand and hand wirh confidence. and I'd like to highlight something for you. Most men don't admit they cry, especially guys in the trades and you came on a platform that's free for the world to see and admitted that you were crying and that takes courage my friend. I hope you have a good life and God Bless.
I feel and share your pain, Semaj, you are blessed to have a Dad that helped set you up in the trade, I'm a 50+ Carpenter too, one thing I've learned on my journey through life is that you never know how strong you really are, until the only choice you have, is to be strong, our greatest fears, carry our greatest growths.
I recall working with my Dad (several times) in situations where there didn't seem to be a clear answer regarding the next steps. He said, we just need to keep moving forward and we will figure it out as we go. That simple statement taught the difference between being frozen in fear, or continuing forward. His confidence and humble belief that it would all work out in the end actually got us to the end of the job successfully. He'd also say things like: "We're certainly not going to finish this job by standing around." He wasn't perfect, but he was a man who could push himself forward when needed and I'm grateful for his example!
Sounds like you are talking about my dad. After working on my house the past two years with him I have learned so much and it wasn't all about construction. Dads are wise beyond belief.
I'd like to be like that. I'm crippled right now, wanting to build a shop and don't know where to begin. I just told my kid that it'll probably never get done because I don't know what I'm doing. Definitely not a way to teach confidence. My dad never dared to do anything big and I inherited his fear of failure and inability to move forward. It's really disheartening.
Growing up without a dad has had a lot of negative impacts on me. I have learned so many things from you and appreciate what you do here very much. Thank you sir, keep up the good work.
Well put Dillon. I've said this before but, If I could've picked my father...well, Scott would be at the top of that very short list. Not to be understated is the importance of Like Scott said, familiarizing myself with the accounts of Jesus life and ministry. He left us a model to follow his steps closely. Not perfectly, but closely. The more I do that the better the outcome.
Lost mine when I was 6 1/2. I'm 47 now and its hard. He was the family favorite and multi talented , I learned that as a boy my dad had a paranormal visitor inform him he wouldn't live to see 30. He married mom at 16,they had my brother,then me and he passed away just shy of 28. It's a life altering loss for sure
I'm a 77-year-old carpenter/contractor, retired. I gained the confidence I have by tackling anything that came along to feed a family of six. I knew nothing in the beginning. There is still nothing I won't tackle today. Eventually, I started teaching construction at a community college. That was a new ballgame for me but I was confident I could do well and I did. Go for what you know and don't know. It will pay off if you are willing to learn.
Sir, I appreciate your comment-input. That is key in life of what you say. I would add that knowledge and experience contribute a great deal to confidence. To obtain both on must jump in feet first. It's tough in the beginning and some later on, but you have to start. Obstacles and failure are a reality but you don't get far if you don't give a shot. I tell my kids to do their best and learn from their failures....succes is so much sweeter when you have worked for it. God Bless and keep fighting the good fight.
To add to my previous comment, I would also state that one must work for what one needs and some of what one wants/desires. You need food and water.....understandable. You want a New Chevy Camaro 2SS, Well that is a want that you might Need to wait on or Save Save Save for 5 years or more depending on 1) How much your current job pays and 2) what your expenses are. If you are 20 years young and no girlfriend/wife nor any kids, then 5 years is doable. Now if you have a girlfriend and 6 kids to support (because you are a Man who takes responsibility of your obligations, as opposed to a male who dresses up as a woman on the weekend), well that 5 years will easily be 10+ years minimum. Paying cash is best in both cases, as you Save thousands of dollars in interest that would have gone to the bank. Delaying gratification for a while can result in sooo much better feeling both financially and personally. Driving a fully paid off New Camaro off the dealership lot is a Great feeling, especially if you just saved say $8,000 in interest. Yeah, you might be 45 or 50 years old at the time, but that feeling has no age discrimination. Sorry that I went off topic but it is important, especially for young individuals, men and women. I am approaching 50 years old and wish someone would have educated me better in these matters. My parents were hard working, No complaints there, yet the did not have any form of real school education, with the exception being my mother who had a 3rd grade education. Growing up in a 3rd world country several decades ago, they were poor and did have much. The immigranted to America in their late teens, not one dollar in their pocket, spoke only Spanish and no legal status/papers. Yet they busted their butt in any work they could find. They were humble and mad the best of their situation. It took them a long time to really get anywhere decent on the success ladder of the American dream, yet they did not stop and ask for entitlement of anything. At most just to be treated with dignity and respect......their hard working character helped in that. Regan's Amnisty Bill in those days opened the door to citizenship which my parents appreciate and worked towards achieving. I say the above, to point out that we are only entitled to a job/work, Not a hand-out Because we are lazy and do not feel we are required to work for what we receive. Unless you have cerebral palsy, or something of the sort, you are capable of working for your food and bread. Most of the time that job/work will be difficult and unpleasant, but that's life. You sitting there complaining and walaring in self-pitty like a spoiled 2 year old is Not going to help you much AND the world will step over you like nothing because they have places to go and business to take care of.
Just the other day, I got a $100 tip for a small, pretty easy roof repair because “you’re the only contractor who bothered to show up”. Until that point, I’d been feeling pretty run down and unmotivated as it has been a long roofing season. Talk about the pick me up I needed! I’ve been making a point to let other people know when they do a great job because it’s an easy way to boost everybody’s confidence and morale.
I empathize. I'm waiting on the 4th contractor to show up to repair a brick column, and I doubt he'll show, either. A $100 tip would be minimum at this point!
I hear you. I'm waiting on any of the 4 concrete contractors I contacted this spring to come out and even give me a price, let alone come and do the work.
Very well done. Thank you, Scott! As a child I was likely viewed as weak and unlikely to do skilled labor as an adult. I read a lot in elementary school and excelled at school through graduation. Along the way, my dad gave me the opportunity to help my uncle, a diesel repair mechanic, for a couple weeks. Somehow this led to me rebuilding my own dirt bike engines and taking on a job at a small town welding and machine shop for oilfield and farm equipment. I worked so hard and learned so much there! I almost forgot about the idea of college 😅. Unfortunately, a severe mental disorder developed, and I became essentially disabled. Three and a half years later, I’m recovering and back at work! I hope to one day own my own welding, machining, CAD, and engineering shop. I’m only 21, and I’m so proud of what I’ve accomplished in my school, work, and mental recovery! Most importantly, I’m grateful to my God for giving me this life, salvation, and a bright future! For anyone in a dark, horrible, or anxiety-filled place mentally, don’t give up, no matter how hard your life is right now. I’ve been where you are. It does get better. Keep hoping, keep fighting for freedom. There is hope, there is freedom, I promise! I am with you and God loves you! ❤
Confidence came with age for me. As a young builder I always tried to please everybody 100% (and got walked on and used by LOTS of construction customers). Once I figured out that I am getting nonstop calls from people pleading with me to do something for them I realized that my skill set in general life is highly sought after and I can hold firm to my principles. I have also always lived my life beholden to nobody but my wife and kids. It’s easier to be confident when you are not under somebodies thumb. BTW, this is the best video you’ve ever made and I’ve been here since day 1.👍🏻😍
I have found that my confidence grows in direct proportion to the amount of responsibility I take on. The more I shoulder, the more confident I feel (within good reason, of course). I am an airline pilot by trade, and am about to finish my Upgrade training to become a Captain. I am now a father of a beautiful, intelligent and ever-more-capable daughter, and am a husband to a wife far better than I deserve. There's a saying among Captains-in-training in the airline industry (keep in mind, Captains sit on the left side of the flight deck and First Officers sit on the right). "Someone is going to ask you a question you don't know or aren't prepared to answer, and when you look to your left all you will see is your own reflection staring back at you in the window." The role of Pilot-In-Command is an important one, and one we all take very seriously. Scott, I have cherished this channel for many years. I have learned from you far more than I thought I would, and have applied what I have learned from you to what I do in a fascinating number of ways. I pray for you, your family, and that (selfishly) we are all blessed by you and your excellent content for many years to come. As you say, keep up the good work!
I totally agree, in my experience once you job title goes up you automatically fill that role even if you thought you couldn't . Other thing is people around you accept it so its auto hierarchy acceptation
I have always experienced social anxiety to varying degrees. Marching band and Boy Scouts followed by the Army gave me tremendous confidence to the point of becoming arrogant. I lost both of my parents at age 28 and fell into a deep hole of depression. I am slowly building myself back up by combining the old confidence with stoic teachings and yoga to find a much more balanced me. My dad was a carpenter and mentor, I have felt lost since losing him, but videos like this help to fill that void. Thank you EC!
Hang in there, man. Lost my dad as well (a year ago August) and I see so much of myself in what you've shared. You aren't alone, stay tough and strong!
My Father in law taught me everything I know about plumbing/construction. He passed recently. Going out there without him has been difficult but he taught me well. I catch myself saying the same phrases, teaching the same lessons, and enjoying it as he did. He'd be dancing, singing and joking while I'd struggle to keep up. I can hear his voice when I am struggling, that brings me confidence, he is with me, always.
Lost my dad at 16. Didn't have a lot growing up but learned to get along in many fields of labor. Have many skills because of a lack of cash to pay my way. I can fix or make most anything by just going for it. Don't stop learning every day. I'll be 70 this year and still learning. A big thing that helps me is to know that 80% of the things we worry about never happen. Don't know where i heard that but it's very true. Thanks again
The most confident people I have ever met, we’re often the most kind. The same cannot be said of proud people, or selfish people, or self centered people. To me, being confident in yourself means knowing your traits, both good and bad, and not bragging about one or trying to make excuses for the other. Thanks! Great video! It brightened my day !
I think my father taught me a lot about confidence. He was the type of man that could make or fix pretty much anything. He was an airline mechanic for 37 years. I remember growing up and when something around the house broke, or the lawnmower wouldn’t start, or the car…he would just figure it out and fix it. Very rarely did he call a “professional “. He made bookcases, bunk beds with built in storage, all in a 10’x20’ carport. He wasn’t afraid of taking anything on. When I was a kid, I remember taking things apart just to see if I could put them back together, seems I always ended up with some extra screws! Fast forward to today, as a remodeling contractor, I take on a lot of projects that I have never done, but I have the “toolbox” of 30 plus years of figuring stuff out that I have the confidence that I can do pretty much anything I set my mind to. However, I also know when to call a friend or colleague for help with things when needed! Being over confident can spell disaster as well. Being humble, knowing your limitations and asking for help when needed goes a long way to building more confidence in the future. I have a long time client who regularly refers customers to me, he usually tells them “Mark can fix anything but a broken heart”. Silly, I know but I do take some pride in that, with the humbleness and gratitude to know I got here with a lot of help from others. Your channel is awesome, and you remind me of my father a great deal. Unfortunately he passed way to early and was never able to see where I have ended up in life. I have learned quite a bit from your videos as well! Keep up the great work!
As a foreman of the heavy machinery mechanics Ukrainian Soviet coal mine I had to fix broken hearts and broken men too. Simply because there were no replacement parts.
The great thing about confidence is that it's naturally self-leveling (if you're sane). When I was 13, one day I decided to figure out how to use Dad's tablesaw, without any guidance. Didn't think it was a big deal. I'd been frequently using other tools, so _how hard could it be?_ The piece of crooked cherry burned and smoked as it began to bind against the sides of the old, rusty blade (which was sticking up way too high). Clearly, there was more to this than just pushing a piece of wood through. Panic crept in. At least I'd managed to preserve enough sensibility to keep my digits away from the potential maiming. Heart still fluttering, I then thought about what I'd just learned, admitting to myself that some serious respect was in order. This must be what a skill is. I'll have to figure it out. Thus my learning paradigm for life was set; with all of the skills I've developed, and all of the things I've built, fixed, and invented, there has followed a rising feeling of competence that has lent itself to an improved capacity for problem-solving. And soon I will fail at something (again), and my almost arrogance returns once again to that child-like feeling of being terrified in front of a screeching tablesaw-now my default setting for approaching any new system of thinking. Keeping overconfidence away is just a matter of minding one's place in the world; skill development is all about self-reliance, not self-worship. As long as I remember that humbling feeling-as long as I keep perspective of my smallness in the world-I'm confident that I can safely _build_ confidence without letting it grow into the range of the irrational, where it just becomes annoying, counterproductive arrogance. Let's be stubborn, _but only up to a point,_ right?
Thank you for being my American Grandpa. I never knew my grandpas because they passed before I was born. You feel like a wise grandpa to me, and even though you don't know me. You have done a lot for me Thank you for your advice, and thank you Nate for filming in such nice way. Greetings from your overseas grandchild :D
I’ve lost all the patriarchs of my lineage, but feel a real resonance with this channel, the solid teachings, you’re technique and method of communication. Thank you for sharing so much technical and experiencial wisdom with the rest of us.
I took a surveying job in Alaska that really forced me to “saddle up” and the knowledge that I gained by just doing that has carried over into my whole life. Later battling colon cancer gave me an inner confidence about what is really important in our lives.
For me, for the longest time, I thought having confidence was necessary to be able to achieve the things that I wanted. Curiously, it has be the opposite; confidence has only been had through achievement. I am confident that I can be a certain way or do a certain thing ONLY if I have proven it through achievement. Confidence comes after efficacy and proficiency. Which means that confidence is not necessary for achievement. After I put that together I realized that it goes like this: action (thoughtful action) --> achievement --> confidence. That's why I quit waiting to be confident to do the things that I want to achieve.
My father used to tell me “son, if you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, …..you haven’t grasped the situation correctly” He did teach me a lot and I learned well.
For me, part of why the poem is so fantastic is it wonderfully handles the nuance between confidence and hubris with "but make allowance for their doubting too"
I've been a framer for 34 years. I absolutely love watching your videos. You are so down to earth and straight forward. I learn something new every day watching you. Keep it up. Old School Framers are the best people to learn from.
For everyone else without a parent. You know and experienced the absense of everything you wish* they had done for you. That insight is powerfull because having identified those things (saying, I love you, I'm proud of you, I'm here for you etc) you have the insight to become what you need. No shame in craddling yourself, sometimes no one else is going to, thats life. You can spread that self love practice to your children and make their lives beautiful becuase it confronted you, and you understood it.
I have found at 71 years old that a person can give in to various things that can cause them to be less productive and fulfilled but one of the most devastating things a person can fall prey to is to allow themselves to become a “victim “. Victim orientation is always destructive. As a Christian I know how important it is to guard your thoughts but allowing yourself to fall into the trap of seeing yourself as a victim is a way that can begin small but spiral downward into oblivion. Whatever you do, whatever happens to you, deal with it as one in control and move on….you’ll always be the better person for it.
Hi Scott, I really enjoyed this segment and found it very valuable. I am 52 years old, I’m a carpenter, a farmer, a father, and a husband. I grew up without my father, however I always tell people that I have had many fathers. I started working as as tradesman at a very young age here in central Ontario Canada. I remember so many times coming up in life not telling the truth about something. Sometimes telling untruths on the job, or to my mother or Grandparents who owned a dairy farm. I realized at some point in my teens that you cannot lie to people who have lived a life in front of your own. So many fathers looked right through me and I learned many lessons about truth from them. Wisdom and confidence are not given, they are earned. So.. the biggest reason I have learned to embrace my confidence is through telling the truth no matter what. I really appreciate your words and your method of teaching. You are a great role model for me and thousands of other people. You seem like what I really would have wanted for a dad! Thanks Scott! Jay🇨🇦
The emulation of Christ is the ultimate goal. "Be imitators of Christ" Paul once said. Sounds like a good plan. Steve Farrar, by far my favorite preacher and author of all time, suggested that men should read Louis L'Amor novels as they are full of men doing the right things. Sticking up for the weak, getting the job done, being honest, being protective and these are great examples of leadership.
Repetition brings confidence for me. It's always terrifying the 1st time, quite a bit less terrifying the 2nd. Boy Scouts helped too. Love learning about the Stoics and am reading Marcus Aurelius's Meditations currently.
This video is like a spiritually inspiring Ted talk by a psychologist, and even more powerful from a craftsman rather than a famous psychologist. There are many roads to Rome, and people understand the fundamentals share some knowledge in common, no matter what the do in life.
I'm knocking at 70 but was lucky to have 2 parents geared to raise their kids with honor and respect. Teaching us to get up and keep going when life knocked us down. I'm lucky enough to still have a 91 year old man who works his garden each day to keep himself going. Trying to emulate him with my grandkids and great grandkids is a tough task but worth the rewards I have received. I can't ask for more!
I grew up without a dad, and have never really been able to find a good mentor, but one thing that has helped me a lot was learning to speak to my inner younger self now as if present day me could be younger me's mentor. This has been with the help of my therapist, but there is a power that comes in recognizing my own present day competence and being a mentor to my younger self
In no particular order, I’ve found confidence in knowing I have my wife’s unconditional love, respect and trust--we’re partners to one another to the end. I’ve found confidence in knowing I’m an imperfect parent who’s done his best with sincerity and love. I became far more confident in my work after abandoning seeking approval from others and setting my own standards. I’m confident in having disagreements with others and being able to accept differences without holding a grudge or needing to win the argument. I’m confident that my family trusts me to protect and defend them, regardless of dangers to myself. Confidence and character are different but similar qualities-they intertwine and support each other like strands of a rope. In one’s absence, the other will be overburdened and eventually break down.
I'm seeing this a good while after it was first posted. I'm a dental technician by schooling and 45 years of experience. The thing that boosted my confidence the most was when my supervisor early on told me to stop trying to make the perfect denture. Which is an unattainable goal. He wanted me to give him work done with excellence. I learned that excellence allows you to improve and learn and grow where perfection does not. My work improved as did my confidence. As a Christian I have learned "to do all things as unto the Lord". Which also allows for growth. I agree with your video by the way. Keep up the excellent content. I'm a substance abuse counselor in my second career which overlapped my first career. Again excellence in counseling is my goal.
I was in a very, very low point in my life and so after being encouraged to try and design and build something myself, I gave it a shot (thank you Scott). I had nothing to lose and only myself to blame if I failed. I didn’t ask for help, I invested in this project and just had a go, despite zero experience. I bought tools, wood and fixings and built a “tall man’s workbench”. This project was the start of my confidence coming back. I have not looked back and the haters voices have completely disappeared. I hope all men discover the secret of backing yourself and ignoring hate, pursuing your own heart, in everything. My faith in Christ is the foundation, he is my provider and I talk directly with him. My confidence is based in him but you have to have the courage to ride again despite any trauma you’ve experienced. You will overcome and succeed.
i talk myself out of doing other things and also a people pleaser... 45 suffering my second burnout and reached epiphany of adhd, teen diagnosis of depression and social anxiety misdiagnosis, symptoms of underlying cause, i throw up and dry heave every morning, wakeup with sheets drenched wih sweat, just got anti anxiety meds and dry sheets for the first time in 7/8 years......
What a wonderful video. I'm a young man who's only just over a year into my career as a carpenter, and confidence has been my number one struggle in improvement. It's a miserable world out there right now, and I know there's alot of people out there like me who are pretty much completely lost. The greatest thing I've found to make life better is in literature and art. It's an essential companion to the tough guy mentality. Authors like Plato and Jordan Peterson are excellent guides for self realization, frameworks to help build yourself as a man. The biggest key I've found is the realization that yes you are likely amazing as who you are, but that doesn't mean perfect. We all have things we need to improve on, and that's completely okay. Understanding that we aren't those heros from stories, but we can be if we work hard enough on the right things, seems to be the foundational stepping stone to creating a good life. And please God, listen to your mentors. Wisdom from the elders is called wisdom for a reason. My biggest regret in life is not spending enough time with my grandpa, and my drive is to be the man he knew I could be.
Aden, your comment has moved me so much! I am a (nearly) 60-year-old woman: if the future rests with young people of your honesty, humanity and sensitivity- as well as your practical skills - the future is hopeful. I wish you every success in your life and chosen calling.
As a young man, I feel confident when I’m good at something. That goes off your example of seeing success over time, but I feel self-awareness is important to confidence too. Knowing what you’re doing and your skill level at something has an impact on confidence.
I was a young boy , my grandpa asked me to “never harden to clay “this has stuck with me every day since. He helped me grow more than I ever could imagine. Listening and learning from watching others still have this today at 54’ and going to bring it forward the best I can. He alone setting my foundation as well as holding my eyes wide. I will always remember
I'm a young subcontractor (23)who was an apprentice for many years under my father. I went out on my own 3 years ago doing my own work, I had experience but nothing compared to my dad, and with that I had lots of mistakes. But even through all my mistakes, my parents always had my back. They always knew I would get better over time, which I did. I've been undergoing some bigger projects lately that even my dad hasn't done, so I'm flying blind but they are the ones who gave me the confidence and courage to go out and do it. I'm so grateful for both my parents they are the reason I am who I am today.
I’ve gained immense amounts of confidence through public speaking through readings and church and stepping up to make small presentations at work to a public audience. Confidence comes with experience and training. When pushed hard we fall back to the level of our training - Jocko Wilink
Im from Norway, and I work on the Powergrid, on both low and high voltage. I've had both my mother and father in the household growing up, we are 4 siblings. What helps me with confidence is working with something that has a purpose, something that make you feel like you take part in society. That you are an important pawn in your society/community and that your fellow workers can rely on you and your skills. Doing a job the right way, being creative and resourceful. Finding solutions to problems. I enjoy working with my hands and create things. I just recently went back to the school bench for some extra education, and I already feel stripped from alot of the confidence that i wield when i work within my field. I will definitely return to my old job once im done with my last year in school. Also, being loved and being able to love someone else is also an awesome feeling. Its a privelige I hope most people dont take for granted.
Having Confidence in myself has allowed me to start as a General Contractor, This will be my second year in buisness. I can say that i feel blessed in being able to provide a better and easier life for my Family and also customers. In the midst of the world feeling like its going down the drain, have some faith things will work out. Keep Showing up and Keep up the Good Work!
I needed to hear this. I'm 53, retired military, twice divorced, no children and no trade. Confidence usually comes to me when I need it such as when I'm dealing with other people but alone it takes a back seat to harsh self criticism. I've been watching your videos on tools and techniques for a few weeks now because I'm trying to be a handyman and they've helped me a lot. Thank you. This video addresses a different kind of problem I deal with daily. Thank you for posting your thoughts on the subject.
Just keep moving forward. Tomorrow will be a nee day. A chance to make a difference in your life and mabe someone else's. Make a decision. If it turns out not to be the right one you are still moving forward. You can always change your direction or even your approach 😉
Just as an experiment, pick a set of days, like three, in which you replace the harsh self criticism with a voice of compassion in your own head. Compassion and forgiveness. And encouragement. See what happens.
If you need any help or advice with trade questions, you're in the right place to ask. Do. There's pride and money in learning and no shame in not knowing. Good luck with your journey. Ask questions. Be kind to yourself. Be happy
Lately I’ve discovered a source of confidence with the projects I take on around the house. I am not a carpenter, a framer, or any manner of builder, but I am curious and quick to learn new things. I recently rebuilt the balcony on my house. I had never don’t this kind of work before, but I had a clear path in my mind on how to find out how. Long story short, I completed the project with a higher standard of quality than the original. This filled my with the sense of confidence that I can do something I’ve never done before. With the proper patients and research, you can too.
I liked your statement about playing music in front of an audience. If you can get up in front of people, take the risk of looking silly, and make it through it, you can build quite the confidence in other areas. Also, if you don't play an instrument, find opportunities to speak publicly. Thank you sir!
I was born to two of the greatest parents that have ever existed. Thank God they're both still alive and I enjoy their presence often. I do have to say that your knowledge of metal working and of the construction trades is absolutely incredible and your kind heart and willingness to engage and teach also show the amazing man you have become. Much honor. 🙏🔥⚒️
Confidence came from getting over the horrible entitled attitude i had as a young man,and understanding that i had to work for what i wanted. As my career has progressed ive never lost sight of where it started,and what it took to get there. The point you made about gratitude at the end has been the key for me. Your not entitled to anything, simply wake up, put your boots on, and quietly get to work. The confidence comes from earning your place in the world, and being thankful for the people and circumstances, good or bad, that helped along the way
At the age of 28 (coming 29) and a male working in IT as a Linux engineer for 10 years I gained my confidence by delving into fear. As horrible and daunting it is by facing the unknown I found I gained confidence by taking a deep breath, a step back and learning the job step by step. I am also grateful for having a dad who unfortunately passed away who also worked in IT for over 33 years who shaped by life. He was a coach & mentor not just to me but to others. As a hobby I do a lot of D.I.Y and in the past two years with the help of my father in-law (a chippy) showed me the ropes. I had again an unknown there but used the principles I learnt in IT to drive my learning in building.
Thank you Scott and the whole Wadsworth family. Ya'll have been a blessing to me and my family the past few years. If you ever feel discouraged by your RUclips work in ANY way, please remember you're following a calling that's making a gargantuan impact. Thanks and keep up the great work 👍
I think it helps to focus on being friendly, kind and positive, focus on your own integrity, but don't take yourself and others too seriously, try and add a bit of fun into every situation, no matter how dire, it too will pass....if that fails convince yourself that everybody else is mental, not you. You never know how strong you really are, until the only choice you have, is to be strong, our greatest fears, carry our greatest growth. As a 50+ Carpenter I'd like to thank you for taking the time, to share your lessons, advice, and your own integrity, learned at the school of hard knocks. Keep up the good work, I regularly recommend your videos to the hundreds of apprentices I'm involved with training here in New Zealand, I've learned a trick or two myself from you, but I think It's such a shame the US hasn't caught up with the modern world using the metric system.
Getting up in front in church from a early age helped in my confidence. One Wednesday night a month all of our young men would lead a song or read a scripture led to leading worship in song and then teaching a class to adults. Trying to model the life of Christ as in Kipling's prose is something to strive for.
It’s hard to be a quiet person in a trade where people are used to seeing and hearing aggression and profanity. At my job I have to change who I am in order to fit in because I will be perceived as weak. But now I understand that it’s okay to be quiet and that when the time comes I can still be assertive.
Great segment. I'm 63 years young, my journey through life has seen career changes about every 10 years, most recently as an owner of a general contracting company in Alberta. I believe confidence comes from a combination of gaining knowledge about certain aspects in life/vocation and using that knowledge practically by doing the thing. But you have to want to do the thing. It doesn't always work out but you have to try. If you consistently try to get better at the thing you will incrementally gain confidence. Your confidence will show when you become the teacher of the thing. I too am a great believer in gratitude and have no time for ungrateful sons a bitches.
What’s helped me with confidence is always breaking tasks/projects into smaller tasks. True example, needing to rebuild a backhoe transmission (when you’ve done office work your entire life, no mechanics are willing to take on the job). Project one: was how to remove the tires, and not worrying about anything else. Many “projects” later everything repaired, everything works great.
What made me more confident are two things you stated-steady, loving parents, and performing music. I was horrifically bullied through middle and high school, but it would all wash away stepping into my front door because I knew I was loved. My parents supported me in music, and I quickly became center snare / section leader in band, even through the terrible bullying by my peers. I learned that someone else’s ignorance isn’t my flaw. Someone else’s ire toward me isn’t connected to my ability. So now, when someone makes unreasonable demands out of their own ignorance, I can confidently say “I can’t do that, but here’s what I can do.” If they bristle and are upset with me, I can confidently let it lie without taking their ignorant criticism personally. I know I do good work, I know what I can do. I know that from experience, which is something no one can take away from me.
Research on bullying shows that nine out of the ten kids who acted as bullies experience deep regret over it years later. The remaining one is either a sociopath in prison or already dead from meeting with comeuppance.
My Dad was a mechanic in the ccc camps back in the 1930s. After his time with the CCC he started working for various construction companies in Utah. Dad was a master mechanic, Shop foreman, etc. My father was the boss and had the ultimate authority and the last say over any decisions made in his shop. All his sons were expected to work in the trade as soon as we came of age. I started working for Dad as a full-time employee back in the Sixties. Old timers back in those days were very vocal and the young ones had to learn to survive massive ass chewins-- Sometimes on a daily basis. Not much of a confidence builder, but that is how it worked back then. Fewer ass chewins meant you were getting better at your job and I guess that was our confidence builder. As time went on I paired with some wise old birds who took me under their wing and taught me more and more about the trade and that made me confident. A hitch in the Corps during the Vietnam War blessed me with some fantastic electrical training and that made me more arrogant than confident. One saying always stuck with me. "Do the Best you can, The very best you can. And if that's not good enough Then to hell with it. lol I retired from the heavy equipment repair trade back in 2009.
As an apprentice carpenter, I am blessed with having a journeyman and foreman to work under that communicate to me how well I'm doing and let me know mistakes are part of the job of learning. This has made me more confident than ever at work. As a father of two, my kids cuddling up to me, even if I feel I've fallen short, and telling me they love me is everything I need to feel confident.
Like you, I've been blessed with steady parents. My dad is 90 now, and always taught us not to be afraid to try. My mom is 85, and is an encourager, especially when I've tried and failed. Both are people of tremendous faith, which they've modeled for us children. Life has been tough at times, but there is an inner strength that comes from serving one who is greater than ones self.
I have worked in a family firm for over 60 years and continue to be thankful for the confidence I gained from the support of my father as I grew up. He has been gone for 20+ years but I still hear his words every day guiding me, praising me and yes, correcting me. Thank you for the wisdom, insight and reminders of what it takes to be confident in life. Blessings for your mission!
'IF' Is a beautiful and great piece of literature. Discovered it in my early 20's and it brings a shiver down my spine every time I hear it read. Confidence is definitely a skill that you grow, and nourish. I played music in highschool, and performed in plays, but I'm definitely still nervous doing things in front of people, but I can attest that it does get easier if you do it on the regular. Being a contractor, and a young one at that, I've definitely increased in my confidence simply by experience, until one day I realized that when the customer asked me to do something I had no idea about doing, I just said yes, knowing that I could figure it out, or had the skills to find a way to do it. The internet has definitely helped in this regard, as you can always find an answer, or a way of doing something new. Some people are naturally more confident simply out of ignorance, or because of their personality, or any number of other reasons, but you can always become more confident. THE KEY - Humility. Know what you know, recognize what you don't know, and know that you can find out or figure out what you don't know. Stay humble, yet confident.
I was raised by a single mother who taught me so many of these values. She became a widow when I was just two years old when my father died at age 45. She too died when I was just 24 years old, but I continue to learn from her memory and her example still today, 30 years after her death. The two best lessons she taught me are "in all things, follow the golden rule", and "you can't truly love anyone until you love yourself".
I am 28 years old and I have watched this video a total of 37 times these are the words I always wish I was told but never knew I needed I know it's late but I'm glad I was able to hear them and it has made me a thousand times stronger mentally and it's taught me forgiveness it's taught me confidence it's taught me patience it's taught me to pick up a book and it's taught me to never give up thank you from the bottom of my heart I'm strong enough to get a job now I know I no longer wallow and self-doubt and I will repay you when I can I know you didn't make this expecting to get anything out of it and that's why you deserve so much more
It takes me quite a while to soak something into my being I'm still watching it but I quit counting I just want to be a strong pillar for my family because no one else can within it.
@@porkchop1659 alright my bad, i read that in a joking manner and just thought that was a lot of times. But hey i respect you for taking care of the family, oh btw check out Elisha long, he has good content on being a man
28 isn't late. Read some Jack London as he mentions in the video. Call of the wild, White Fang and To build a fire all impart something that stays with you long after you read them.
From 13 years of age - I worked in the restaurant business. I was very, very shy - so I hid by only working the line (kitchen). Eventually I become a certified chef and the next step was Executive Chef (the boss). But, I lacked the confidence to tell people what to do. I needed to propel my career into learning how to manage a crew. So, found a restaurant that professionally trained how to manage people and one of the first things they did was make you work all the jobs in a restaurant (cooking, dishwashing and serving). Which made me face my biggest fear: meeting THE CUSTOMERS. Quickly found out it was nothing to fear but enjoy. Talking with all the different people you'd meet in life when they are in the role of 'the customer' was the highlight of my work. Being in the restaurant business is one of the best ways to gain confidence. Serving people keeps you humble (which leads to gratefulness) and it pushed you out into the world.
Great message. I like that you mentioned the stability your parents and their faith provided. My parents were the same way. Married 61 years, not perfect but stable. It has been a large part of the mental and emotional stability of myself and my siblings. Watching your videos is like sitting down and talking with my dad again;they’re a real blessing for me. I’m sure many of your followers view you as their second dad or the dad they didn’t know. Your videos make a big difference in these men’s lives. Thank you for sharing your experience and convictions.
You’re 100% right-confidence and assertiveness are NOT the same. I’ve been in many rooms with people demanding unreasonable things out of their own ignorance. I say “this is what I can do, instead.” If they bristle and reassert their unreasonable demands, I can smile and say “I’m not your man” with no sense of deflation or shame. Sometimes backing off is the most confident thing you can do.
From australia. I really loved this video. Im a builder/carpenter , My father was a carpenter/builder, my grandparents sculpters and painters. It's nice to know tradesman and builders in other countries have the exact same thoughts and insecurities we have. Love your work keep it up
In general, my mindset is: What's the worst that can happen? I'm just going to learn from this - whether the outcome is "good" or "bad". No one enjoys mistakes, but they're DEFINITELY good teachers...as long as you pay attention! lol Thanks for all the knowledge Scott.
Like you Scott, I was blessed to have two parents. They taught as much, if not more, by example as by actual instruction. I was also shy as a child, never eager to stand up in front of the class to speak. Playing music might have helped more than it did had I embraced practicing. Some how, through becoming a Math major and then transferring to the school of Education, I wound up teaching High School Math for two years. Once you force yourself to speak to a group a number of times you find yourself able to face almost any group. I drifted into construction, finding that producing something tangible was more satisfying than dealing with teenagers. I was content to work for other contractors for years until things shifted to where I was being classified as an independent subcontractor. That was the point where I figured I needed to take on side cobs and eventually go out on my own. Oddly enough the last ten years or so I have gotten into coaching in our local youth bowling program and am enjoying working with teens and tweens and kids. There is a definite correlation between practicing, developing skill and consistency, and confidence.
What a great video. As requested here is what has made me a confident man. Much like yourself I was fortunate at a very young age to play a musical instrument. The bagpipes of all things, and was part of a band that played in public. Now when your in a marching pipes and drums band you have to memorize all the tunes, lots of pressure. As my instrumental life progressed I eventually became pipe major of the band and was the leader. Kept tempo, called out what to play etc. lots of times a piper is needed to do solo performances for things like weddings, formal ceremonies and funerals. I did my fair share of them all, the whole bagpipe thing combined really built my Confidence as a young man. Aside from the instructors the band was for minors only so once I turned 18 I was no longer able to play with the band. I was great for every single person I ever seen go through the band and it’s processes. Now I’m my adult life I am a application Specialist with the local Cat dealer, it is very specialized. The way I got most confident in my career was to not assume I know everything, study your craft or your product in my case. Know it like the back of your hand, so that you are able to give honest, accurate and reliable information when the customer asks questions, and never be afraid to say that you don’t know but that you will find out the answer and get it to them. Never make up an answer to look like a pro, it’ll bite you every time. All these life experiences are what gave me the courage to start my channel, and to have the confidence to talk to myself into a camera for millions of people to watch and criticize, judge, etc. it’s not easy putting yourself out there for the world. Thanks for another great video folks.
The 1st video I found of yours was the “How to be productive” and it truly made a change in me. I have gone back and viewed it many times(even just last week) and love this video as an addition to that series. I found that through my 20’s i was trying to please everyone else and I didn’t really have a “place” yet in this world. I hadn’t found the thing that I can bring to help another and because of that I was a ship without a rudder. Watching this video now for the 2nd time(back to back) I do think you directly hit on some points that I have experienced. I also had steady parents, played music, and most importantly (to me) I have spent time studying the Bible and trying to apply practices/teaching that came from Jesus (and even some from the Old Testament) and it has made a huge difference in my life. Starting with being honest 100% of the time right down to working a hard days work and with those two things I am not afraid to look in the mirror anymore because I like the man I have become. That feeling alone has blossomed into something more than I ever could have understood but has given me the firm standing on what I should do that is right and what I should not do that is wrong and is my guiding light to my next steps. If I’m about to do something that will make me not feel comfortable when I look in the mirror I give myself a timeout to figure out what the problem is and what my next step should be to adjust and make the right decision. Love this channel and love your wisdom and the fact that you are so great at expressing yourself and giving us all something to “chew on” to improve ourselves. Keep up the great “hard” work. Thank you!!!!
Confidence has grown as I try new things, both with failure and success. Working with folks who are more experienced, and sticking with it until the finish have been important. Performing in front of an audience, as you mentioned, was huge. Upon frustration with a project, such as building a guitar from scratch, putting it away, then returning later, and eventually finishing it has really made me feel good and confident in my ability. I'm 67, have built 16 homes, an airplane, completed 3 Ironman events, and many other projects small and large. Keep trying until you finish, or decide that it may be beyond your capability. Thanks to RUclips and you for allowing us to tap knowledge of those more experienced, building confidence for completion.
For me, spending time with myself was the key. I hiked across the UK carrying everything I needed on my bag. This helped me to get to experience my limits and exceed them, and also thought me to be comfortable with silence and my thoughts. It also taught me that you can do unthinkable things when you set your mind to it and that they need to be approached step by step and that you will not be able to fathom your achievements looking back from the tops to where you came from. Thanks for the great video!
This is why I am so thankful I got to work with older guys in construction. I am 50 been in HVAC trade for 34 year's and with out there guidance would never took a chance for the shop Forman job to which I have been doing for the last 9 year's thank you
I learned to find confidence from my father while doing projects from before when I can remember. As life went on I've been blessed with Senior Chief Johnson and Chief Jones in the military, then my very good friend Bill, who led me to the Lord, showed me how to survive with my head intact while dealing with a broken marriage, and many more great men who inspired me during my life through market crashs and twists life has thrown me through the past 15 years. And now I've found you and John Switser a very great help as I take on my next episode of life preparing for retirement and starting a small shop to keep me out of the recliner. Keep doing what your doing as it inspires many followers. Thank You!
Oh my! Your parents are adorable! I just found your channel and love how you present things! As a retired teacher, your advice is spot on! It hurts my heart to know you were so anxious before school each day. I’m so glad you overcame that. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. You have earned a new subscriber.
Re confidence: I believe it comes from something I call grit. I used to teach this in my classroom. It is another way of saying saddle up. Taking risks and learning from those “mistakes” helps to build knowledge to do things differently, which in turn builds confidence.
just came out to my office (a camper trailer i got off my sister in law) to try and figure out my week after a job had fallen through. Ive only been in business since middle of september so every one counts. feeling a little discouraged i thought i would waist some time on you tube. instead i watched this video and began to count my blessings and all the times i had thought "this is it" and God carried me a little further than i thought i could go. Thank you for being authentically you! Also thank you son for recognising your talent with this channel.
I love that you carry on Larry Haun's spirit. You carry on the spirit of so many knowing and loving people. Just lost someone who you remind me of. A confident and grateful person who taught me so much about the trades, sports, love, and life. I'm so glad for you and your family, take care and thanks for offering your path to so many others!
At the age of 18, my car motor failed, and I completely and confidently tore it down and rebuilt it from the ground up, using the knowledge I had gained from a 6-week, small engines course in high school, along with a step-by-step motor repair manual. The motor ran perfectly for many years after (even past the actual life of the vehicle). Years later, talking to my father about this experience, he confided in me that when he saw the motor all torn down, with motor parts all over the garage, he didn't think it would ever run again. Completing this project so successfully gave me a lot of confidence going forward that with careful research and patience, I could figure out just about any challenge that might come my way in life.
First, thank you Scott for making this video. The timing of this discussion for myself and I imagine many others could not be more perfect. This is a topic I have been struggling with lately despite my many years and experience in my current profession. Ironically one of the reasons I subscribe to your channel is the confidence you exude even when faced with new challenges for which you may have limited experience. The thought of you having any insecurities is unfathomable!!! It is for this reason and many others that I view you as a mentor, one who can impart a wisdom to inspire others to undertake new challenges. There are tools and processes I have been willing to pursue after watching you do the same. Your willingness to share knowledge, and at times failures with your audience in the manner you do is both defining and a reflection of your tremendous character. The power and significance of that cannot possibly be measured, but you should know the affect your channel has on its viewers. As a "recovering musician" I can also speak to the importance of public performance. Learning to channel the fear and anxiety of performing before strangers into something imperceptible to your audience has tremendous value. It is a skill I hope to impart on my daughter who by the grace of God appears to be following in my footsteps. Keep up the amazing work. You are truly an exceptional person and your presence here on RUclips is truly motivating for so many of us.
At 46 I’m still learning a lot, and though I don’t feel an abundance of confidence right now, I hope someday I can look back on these years and realize I did pretty ok. I find one thing very powerful to help regulate ego, and that’s to understand the best you can the limits of your knowledge. It is said the smart ones are those who realize they don’t know it all. I quite often pause before answering because I want to make sure I don’t speak beyond what I can prove to be right. I would likely make a poor politician 😂
Thank you for your insights. My Dad was career navy and that kept him away a lot. My Mom was always there but not a man. Grandfathers, whether our parents were there or not, are invaluable to a young mans growth and affirmation. My grandfather taught me to work and to tell the truth, good or bad. They are both gone now but I strive to honor them in the way I live my life. You remind me of my grandfather, though we are close in age, by the way you always build and never tear down. Keep up the good work!
I have found confidence in knowing my level of competence and striving to increase that competence. Studying hard and practicing. Learning technique and doing repetitions of that technique. I am trying to learn to feel proud of my accomplishments without being prideful if that makes sense. I also find confidence in learning from others, knowing that I am a life long learner and regardless of how much knowledge one has on any subject, there is always more to learn. That learning can come from a master or a novice. I find deep joy in watching my own, or someone else's development over months and years and a lifetime. I appreciate this channel and what you are sharing. It comes from a good place and it's done in a good way. Thank you folks.
I love these videos even being older they give me plenty to think about. The one thing that has helped me over the years, I suppose could be described as "fake it til you make it" or basically looking at someone that has the confidence or traits that you desire and working to incorporate (I won't say necessarily imitate since that is more superficial) those aspects into yourself. As you touched on, this is a form of practice and practice makes perfect. Thank you for pointing out the relationship of gratitude to confidence - that had never particularly occurred to me, but now that I see it, I see how they are intertwined and maybe balance the darker aspects of confidence and where it might lead.
My self-confident training is as follows #1 Identify the things that are good, moral, positive. A prayer, A book, A creed, A oath. Repeat multiple times a day or read over and over. (this begins to program or reprogram my brain in the direction I want to go) #2 Take risks that are challenging, flirt with failure but not catastrophic consequences. #3 Acknowledge my failures find creative solutions don't beet myself up to bad look for more things that I did right. #4 Surround myself with people that are moving the same direction I want to go. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat. I love the channel keep up the good work
Hi Scott, this is a wonderful and a needed video right now for me, IF was given to me by my grandmother many years ago on a wooden plaque and it sits upon my toolbox and I read it every few days and it reminds me of her. I feel like I can hear her reading it to never give up! My dad is also the same way of having the confidence to open something up that doesn’t work and will figure it out and usually make it better than new! He’s a great source of confidence. Can’t wait for the next one!
I would say the biggest confidence builder I ever had was learning combat in martial arts. Being in the trades aggression and posturing from others is the typical way to display their confidence and to protect their ego. Knowing how to handle confrontation and being skilled in that craft helps to keep emotions in check and handle the situation with more confidence knowing that the escalation would be easily handled and how to identify what is a threat and what is words. For me it gives me room to use my brain and removes that from the table of outcomes.
I spent 22 years full-time in the trades. Worked on jobs both large and small. I really never worried about blusterers and posers. I always ignored them, did my work, and let it speak for itself. That does NOT mean I always kept my cool, but no one could complain about my work performance or the product I turned out. I always figured that those who spent their time yakking about their abilities or talking down mine were just insecure about themselves. Water - duck. When I was 22, I was on a job and asked for a raise commensurate with the work I was doing. One of the "old men" on the job (about 55) overheard my request, but did not hear the answer later in the day. At the end of the day, he asked how it went and I told him I had gotten the raise. He said, "good for you,. They owed you, your a damn good worker". I floated for a long time on that simple praise.
Just imagine your good fortune to have this person as your next door neighbor when you are just starting out in life... I've enjoyed my DIY projects for many decades and I can always learn something useful on this wonderful channel. To answer your question: I lacked confidence up through my mid-20s when, after my time in the military, simple things became clear. Like the shape of a Nautilus, small wins propelled me onto to bigger ones and within a blink of an eye, I went from living in the barracks in West Texas (a priceless lesson...), to looking at my fancy business card while sitting late at night in my newly assigned office. Without realizing it at the time, I had gained confidence by saddling up even when I was afraid... and doing so anyway. Ok. I've finished this great video as well as my coffee and it is time to get back to my project! ;)
The wisdom here is priceless. I’ve always appreciated your videos and enjoyed different aspects but this is different and I think I really needed to hear it at this point in my life. You are a great mentor, even if you’re just on my iPad and I’ll probably never meet you. Thank you for veering off of your normal path for this video, it was really incredible. Much respect!
1. Practice makes perfect (ensuring you have quality practices) 2. Comfortable being the "dumbest" one in the room. Always be asking questions, always be looking to learn a different point of view 3. A realization that you don't always have to be right, or the one who seeks the credit. (Inward insight to know that the higher purpose isn't about being right, or getting the credit) 4. That you are a servant, looking for a way to make something better in the world. 5. Your John Wayne quote has always helped. 6. My dad, and thinking about his quiet, life long demonstration of confidence through out my life Thank you for sharing your wisdom, knowledge, and experience. The legacy you are building for the multitude of viewers and who knows how many second and third order impacts along with the sort of time capsule you are building for future generations of your family, fills my heart.
Really appreciate you sharing your wisdom and your philosophy with us Scott. You’re a real good guy it’s damn good of you to try to help us all think a little bit more about what we’re doing and how we’re doing it..
I grew up with a man who was a bully. And by that calculus I was not a bully but I had no confidence. However, I also at a later time grew up with another man who, while I would never call him skilled with his hands was skilled with people in a way that amazes me to this day. He never taught me to be confident rather he have me the opportunities to learn it myself. He pushed me to stretch my boundaries and try things I likely would never have ever tried. And it was a slow build up. By the time I was interested in girls, while my other friends stood around anxiously pushing each other to go as a girl out, I was spinning them around a dance floor. Not because I was the best looking, best dancer, or the funniest, but because I'd been pushed to learn that really being true to yourself was being humble enough to go out and open yourself to someone you didn't know and being happy enough with myself that rejection, which may sting, didn't kill me. I've used those principles to travel the world, to give my best in everything I do, and to never let others be bullied. Many moons later I've raised three wonderful kids, been married for twenty plus years happily, and to keep learning every damned day.
Great video as always, I like how you apply craftsmanship and life lessons. Just a young person starting in the trades, a few things that developed my confidence as a person: - Public Performance, it’s something that both challenges you but also teaches how to read people. -Stepping outside your comfort zone. Develop the understanding that you can indeed do anything. -Being a mentor of others, the realization that people look up to you as an example is incredibly uplifting . -Taking personal responsibility. A quote told to me in highschool “nobody is coming to save you… God is testing you, and when you come out on the other side, your gonna see exactly why he tested you”. Always know that you are the captain of your ship, you step up and call the shots in order to succeed.
Well I haven’t necessarily been super confident ever but what I have learned is do the stuff you love man. If you love it pursue it if it doesn’t go your way just please move on because I struggle with it but life is like a 2 heavy ropes you’ll hurt yourself holding on to the lower one (your past) if you hold it for to long. Let go so you can help yourself better.
This came at just the right moment for me literally minutes. My dad got me into the commercial roofing trade and passed away within a year, in all honesty I was crying a few minutes before this feed came out. Confidence is something I've struggled with my whole life and I'm now 50. I eventually got into finish carpentry but I just wanted to say God bless you and I love that you mentioned Christ.
Hey Semja sorry about your Dad and I'm sorry that it's been a half century and your still struggling with confidence. In the video Scott said courage goes hand and hand wirh confidence. and I'd like to highlight something for you. Most men don't admit they cry, especially guys in the trades and you came on a platform that's free for the world to see and admitted that you were crying and that takes courage my friend. I hope you have a good life and God Bless.
Amen, I share your sentiments. Sorry to hear about your dad.
I feel and share your pain, Semaj, you are blessed to have a Dad that helped set you up in the trade, I'm a 50+ Carpenter too, one thing I've learned on my journey through life is that you never know how strong you really are, until the only choice you have, is to be strong, our greatest fears, carry our greatest growths.
Stay strong Brother 💪 I hope all is well now !
God bless and stay safe .
Thank God!
I recall working with my Dad (several times) in situations where there didn't seem to be a clear answer regarding the next steps. He said, we just need to keep moving forward and we will figure it out as we go. That simple statement taught the difference between being frozen in fear, or continuing forward. His confidence and humble belief that it would all work out in the end actually got us to the end of the job successfully. He'd also say things like: "We're certainly not going to finish this job by standing around." He wasn't perfect, but he was a man who could push himself forward when needed and I'm grateful for his example!
Sounds like you are talking about my dad. After working on my house the past two years with him I have learned so much and it wasn't all about construction. Dads are wise beyond belief.
I'd like to be like that. I'm crippled right now, wanting to build a shop and don't know where to begin. I just told my kid that it'll probably never get done because I don't know what I'm doing. Definitely not a way to teach confidence. My dad never dared to do anything big and I inherited his fear of failure and inability to move forward. It's really disheartening.
Growing up without a dad has had a lot of negative impacts on me. I have learned so many things from you and appreciate what you do here very much. Thank you sir, keep up the good work.
Well put Dillon. I've said this before but, If I could've picked my father...well, Scott would be at the top of that very short list. Not to be understated is the importance of Like Scott said, familiarizing myself with the accounts of Jesus life and ministry. He left us a model to follow his steps closely. Not perfectly, but closely. The more I do that the better the outcome.
Right, Dillon... You're a good guy too, you know.
damn if rent a dad services were a thing bro
Lost mine when I was 6 1/2. I'm 47 now and its hard. He was the family favorite and multi talented , I learned that as a boy my dad had a paranormal visitor inform him he wouldn't live to see 30. He married mom at 16,they had my brother,then me and he passed away just shy of 28. It's a life altering loss for sure
@@campbellpaul Thanks, I try to be.
I'm a 77-year-old carpenter/contractor, retired. I gained the confidence I have by tackling anything that came along to feed a family of six. I knew nothing in the beginning. There is still nothing I won't tackle today. Eventually, I started teaching construction at a community college. That was a new ballgame for me but I was confident I could do well and I did. Go for what you know and don't know. It will pay off if you are willing to learn.
Sir, I appreciate your comment-input. That is key in life of what you say. I would add that knowledge and experience contribute a great deal to confidence. To obtain both on must jump in feet first. It's tough in the beginning and some later on, but you have to start. Obstacles and failure are a reality but you don't get far if you don't give a shot. I tell my kids to do their best and learn from their failures....succes is so much sweeter when you have worked for it. God Bless and keep fighting the good fight.
To add to my previous comment, I would also state that one must work for what one needs and some of what one wants/desires. You need food and water.....understandable. You want a New Chevy Camaro 2SS, Well that is a want that you might Need to wait on or Save Save Save for 5 years or more depending on 1) How much your current job pays and 2) what your expenses are. If you are 20 years young and no girlfriend/wife nor any kids, then 5 years is doable. Now if you have a girlfriend and 6 kids to support (because you are a Man who takes responsibility of your obligations, as opposed to a male who dresses up as a woman on the weekend), well that 5 years will easily be 10+ years minimum. Paying cash is best in both cases, as you Save thousands of dollars in interest that would have gone to the bank. Delaying gratification for a while can result in sooo much better feeling both financially and personally. Driving a fully paid off New Camaro off the dealership lot is a Great feeling, especially if you just saved say $8,000 in interest. Yeah, you might be 45 or 50 years old at the time, but that feeling has no age discrimination.
Sorry that I went off topic but it is important, especially for young individuals, men and women. I am approaching 50 years old and wish someone would have educated me better in these matters. My parents were hard working, No complaints there, yet the did not have any form of real school education, with the exception being my mother who had a 3rd grade education. Growing up in a 3rd world country several decades ago, they were poor and did have much. The immigranted to America in their late teens, not one dollar in their pocket, spoke only Spanish and no legal status/papers. Yet they busted their butt in any work they could find. They were humble and mad the best of their situation. It took them a long time to really get anywhere decent on the success ladder of the American dream, yet they did not stop and ask for entitlement of anything. At most just to be treated with dignity and respect......their hard working character helped in that. Regan's Amnisty Bill in those days opened the door to citizenship which my parents appreciate and worked towards achieving.
I say the above, to point out that we are only entitled to a job/work, Not a hand-out Because we are lazy and do not feel we are required to work for what we receive. Unless you have cerebral palsy, or something of the sort, you are capable of working for your food and bread. Most of the time that job/work will be difficult and unpleasant, but that's life. You sitting there complaining and walaring in self-pitty like a spoiled 2 year old is Not going to help you much AND the world will step over you like nothing because they have places to go and business to take care of.
Just the other day, I got a $100 tip for a small, pretty easy roof repair because “you’re the only contractor who bothered to show up”. Until that point, I’d been feeling pretty run down and unmotivated as it has been a long roofing season. Talk about the pick me up I needed! I’ve been making a point to let other people know when they do a great job because it’s an easy way to boost everybody’s confidence and morale.
I empathize. I'm waiting on the 4th contractor to show up to repair a brick column, and I doubt he'll show, either. A $100 tip would be minimum at this point!
I hear you. I'm waiting on any of the 4 concrete contractors I contacted this spring to come out and even give me a price, let alone come and do the work.
I find an attaboy goes a lot further than criticism
Very well done. Thank you, Scott!
As a child I was likely viewed as weak and unlikely to do skilled labor as an adult. I read a lot in elementary school and excelled at school through graduation. Along the way, my dad gave me the opportunity to help my uncle, a diesel repair mechanic, for a couple weeks. Somehow this led to me rebuilding my own dirt bike engines and taking on a job at a small town welding and machine shop for oilfield and farm equipment. I worked so hard and learned so much there! I almost forgot about the idea of college 😅. Unfortunately, a severe mental disorder developed, and I became essentially disabled. Three and a half years later, I’m recovering and back at work!
I hope to one day own my own welding, machining, CAD, and engineering shop. I’m only 21, and I’m so proud of what I’ve accomplished in my school, work, and mental recovery! Most importantly, I’m grateful to my God for giving me this life, salvation, and a bright future!
For anyone in a dark, horrible, or anxiety-filled place mentally, don’t give up, no matter how hard your life is right now. I’ve been where you are. It does get better. Keep hoping, keep fighting for freedom. There is hope, there is freedom, I promise! I am with you and God loves you! ❤
Confidence came with age for me. As a young builder I always tried to please everybody 100% (and got walked on and used by LOTS of construction customers). Once I figured out that I am getting nonstop calls from people pleading with me to do something for them I realized that my skill set in general life is highly sought after and I can hold firm to my principles. I have also always lived my life beholden to nobody but my wife and kids. It’s easier to be confident when you are not under somebodies thumb. BTW, this is the best video you’ve ever made and I’ve been here since day 1.👍🏻😍
Amen this video should have a million views already
Yes, you must filter! ALL clients
Same here brother. I struck out on my own about a decade ago and nothing beats the freedom and flexibility.
In fact, undermining a man's confidence is a reliable way to exploit his labor.
I have found that my confidence grows in direct proportion to the amount of responsibility I take on. The more I shoulder, the more confident I feel (within good reason, of course). I am an airline pilot by trade, and am about to finish my Upgrade training to become a Captain. I am now a father of a beautiful, intelligent and ever-more-capable daughter, and am a husband to a wife far better than I deserve. There's a saying among Captains-in-training in the airline industry (keep in mind, Captains sit on the left side of the flight deck and First Officers sit on the right). "Someone is going to ask you a question you don't know or aren't prepared to answer, and when you look to your left all you will see is your own reflection staring back at you in the window." The role of Pilot-In-Command is an important one, and one we all take very seriously.
Scott, I have cherished this channel for many years. I have learned from you far more than I thought I would, and have applied what I have learned from you to what I do in a fascinating number of ways. I pray for you, your family, and that (selfishly) we are all blessed by you and your excellent content for many years to come.
As you say, keep up the good work!
I totally agree, in my experience once you job title goes up you automatically fill that role even if you thought you couldn't . Other thing is people around you accept it so its auto hierarchy acceptation
I have always experienced social anxiety to varying degrees. Marching band and Boy Scouts followed by the Army gave me tremendous confidence to the point of becoming arrogant. I lost both of my parents at age 28 and fell into a deep hole of depression. I am slowly building myself back up by combining the old confidence with stoic teachings and yoga to find a much more balanced me. My dad was a carpenter and mentor, I have felt lost since losing him, but videos like this help to fill that void. Thank you EC!
You are on the right path back, I see your footsteps over my shoulder
Hang in there, man. Lost my dad as well (a year ago August) and I see so much of myself in what you've shared. You aren't alone, stay tough and strong!
Keep that confidence that made you arrogant before ,and filter it through a screen of humility. Sorry about your folks, and thanks for serving.
Keep at it, my friend. Lost mine at 25; you are not alone. Will you make it? You’re already making it, in learning to recover from a blow like that!
My Father in law taught me everything I know about plumbing/construction. He passed recently. Going out there without him has been difficult but he taught me well. I catch myself saying the same phrases, teaching the same lessons, and enjoying it as he did. He'd be dancing, singing and joking while I'd struggle to keep up. I can hear his voice when I am struggling, that brings me confidence, he is with me, always.
Lost my dad at 16. Didn't have a lot growing up but learned to get along in many fields of labor. Have many skills because of a lack of cash to pay my way. I can fix or make most anything by just going for it. Don't stop learning every day. I'll be 70 this year and still learning. A big thing that helps me is to know that 80% of the things we worry about never happen. Don't know where i heard that but it's very true. Thanks again
They're will be only one story line so dont worry about all the other bs
Any pointers for us young bucks? Be it of virtue or or of the craft?
The most confident people I have ever met, we’re often the most kind. The same cannot be said of proud people, or selfish people, or self centered people. To me, being confident in yourself means knowing your traits, both good and bad, and not bragging about one or trying to make excuses for the other. Thanks! Great video! It brightened my day !
Amen brother. And not worried someone is going to take away what you have!
I think my father taught me a lot about confidence. He was the type of man that could make or fix pretty much anything. He was an airline mechanic for 37 years. I remember growing up and when something around the house broke, or the lawnmower wouldn’t start, or the car…he would just figure it out and fix it. Very rarely did he call a “professional “. He made bookcases, bunk beds with built in storage, all in a 10’x20’ carport. He wasn’t afraid of taking anything on. When I was a kid, I remember taking things apart just to see if I could put them back together, seems I always ended up with some extra screws! Fast forward to today, as a remodeling contractor, I take on a lot of projects that I have never done, but I have the “toolbox” of 30 plus years of figuring stuff out that I have the confidence that I can do pretty much anything I set my mind to. However, I also know when to call a friend or colleague for help with things when needed! Being over confident can spell disaster as well. Being humble, knowing your limitations and asking for help when needed goes a long way to building more confidence in the future. I have a long time client who regularly refers customers to me, he usually tells them “Mark can fix anything but a broken heart”. Silly, I know but I do take some pride in that, with the humbleness and gratitude to know I got here with a lot of help from others. Your channel is awesome, and you remind me of my father a great deal. Unfortunately he passed way to early and was never able to see where I have ended up in life. I have learned quite a bit from your videos as well! Keep up the great work!
Very grateful for your comment
As a foreman of the heavy machinery mechanics Ukrainian Soviet coal mine I had to fix broken hearts and broken men too. Simply because there were no replacement parts.
Beautiful story 💓
The great thing about confidence is that it's naturally self-leveling (if you're sane). When I was 13, one day I decided to figure out how to use Dad's tablesaw, without any guidance. Didn't think it was a big deal. I'd been frequently using other tools, so _how hard could it be?_
The piece of crooked cherry burned and smoked as it began to bind against the sides of the old, rusty blade (which was sticking up way too high). Clearly, there was more to this than just pushing a piece of wood through. Panic crept in. At least I'd managed to preserve enough sensibility to keep my digits away from the potential maiming. Heart still fluttering, I then thought about what I'd just learned, admitting to myself that some serious respect was in order. This must be what a skill is. I'll have to figure it out.
Thus my learning paradigm for life was set; with all of the skills I've developed, and all of the things I've built, fixed, and invented, there has followed a rising feeling of competence that has lent itself to an improved capacity for problem-solving. And soon I will fail at something (again), and my almost arrogance returns once again to that child-like feeling of being terrified in front of a screeching tablesaw-now my default setting for approaching any new system of thinking.
Keeping overconfidence away is just a matter of minding one's place in the world; skill development is all about self-reliance, not self-worship. As long as I remember that humbling feeling-as long as I keep perspective of my smallness in the world-I'm confident that I can safely _build_ confidence without letting it grow into the range of the irrational, where it just becomes annoying, counterproductive arrogance.
Let's be stubborn, _but only up to a point,_ right?
God bless this confident man.
Thank you for being my American Grandpa. I never knew my grandpas because they passed before I was born. You feel like a wise grandpa to me, and even though you don't know me. You have done a lot for me
Thank you for your advice, and thank you Nate for filming in such nice way. Greetings from your overseas grandchild :D
I’ve lost all the patriarchs of my lineage, but feel a real resonance with this channel, the solid teachings, you’re technique and method of communication. Thank you for sharing so much technical and experiencial wisdom with the rest of us.
Start learning trombone, and make gramps happy. You will build confidence.
I took a surveying job in Alaska that really forced me to “saddle up” and the knowledge that I gained by just doing that has carried over into my whole life. Later battling colon cancer gave me an inner confidence about what is really important in our lives.
For me, for the longest time, I thought having confidence was necessary to be able to achieve the things that I wanted. Curiously, it has be the opposite; confidence has only been had through achievement. I am confident that I can be a certain way or do a certain thing ONLY if I have proven it through achievement. Confidence comes after efficacy and proficiency. Which means that confidence is not necessary for achievement. After I put that together I realized that it goes like this: action (thoughtful action) --> achievement --> confidence. That's why I quit waiting to be confident to do the things that I want to achieve.
My father used to tell me “son, if you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, …..you haven’t grasped the situation correctly” He did teach me a lot and I learned well.
For me, part of why the poem is so fantastic is it wonderfully handles the nuance between confidence and hubris with "but make allowance for their doubting too"
Lol. That's funny!
😂😂😂
I've been a framer for 34 years. I absolutely love watching your videos. You are so down to earth and straight forward. I learn something new every day watching you. Keep it up. Old School Framers are the best people to learn from.
For everyone else without a parent. You know and experienced the absense of everything you wish* they had done for you. That insight is powerfull because having identified those things (saying, I love you, I'm proud of you, I'm here for you etc) you have the insight to become what you need. No shame in craddling yourself, sometimes no one else is going to, thats life. You can spread that self love practice to your children and make their lives beautiful becuase it confronted you, and you understood it.
I have found at 71 years old that a person can give in to various things that can cause them to be less productive and fulfilled but one of the most devastating things a person can fall prey to is to allow themselves to become a “victim “. Victim orientation is always destructive. As a Christian I know how important it is to guard your thoughts but allowing yourself to fall into the trap of seeing yourself as a victim is a way that can begin small but spiral downward into oblivion. Whatever you do, whatever happens to you, deal with it as one in control and move on….you’ll always be the better person for it.
Hi Scott, I really enjoyed this segment and found it very valuable. I am 52 years old, I’m a carpenter, a farmer, a father, and a husband. I grew up without my father, however I always tell people that I have had many fathers. I started working as as tradesman at a very young age here in central Ontario Canada. I remember so many times coming up in life not telling the truth about something. Sometimes telling untruths on the job, or to my mother or Grandparents who owned a dairy farm. I realized at some point in my teens that you cannot lie to people who have lived a life in front of your own. So many fathers looked right through me and I learned many lessons about truth from them. Wisdom and confidence are not given, they are earned. So.. the biggest reason I have learned to embrace my confidence is through telling the truth no matter what.
I really appreciate your words and your method of teaching. You are a great role model for me and thousands of other people. You seem like what I really would have wanted for a dad! Thanks Scott!
Jay🇨🇦
The emulation of Christ is the ultimate goal. "Be imitators of Christ" Paul once said. Sounds like a good plan.
Steve Farrar, by far my favorite preacher and author of all time, suggested that men should read Louis L'Amor novels as they are full of men doing the right things. Sticking up for the weak, getting the job done, being honest, being protective and these are great examples of leadership.
Repetition brings confidence for me. It's always terrifying the 1st time, quite a bit less terrifying the 2nd. Boy Scouts helped too.
Love learning about the Stoics and am reading Marcus Aurelius's Meditations currently.
This video is like a spiritually inspiring Ted talk by a psychologist, and even more powerful from a craftsman rather than a famous psychologist. There are many roads to Rome, and people understand the fundamentals share some knowledge in common, no matter what the do in life.
I'm knocking at 70 but was lucky to have 2 parents geared to raise their kids with honor and respect. Teaching us to get up and keep going when life knocked us down. I'm lucky enough to still have a 91 year old man who works his garden each day to keep himself going. Trying to emulate him with my grandkids and great grandkids is a tough task but worth the rewards I have received. I can't ask for more!
God Bless you and your pa. Keep up the great work with molding future generations.
I grew up without a dad, and have never really been able to find a good mentor, but one thing that has helped me a lot was learning to speak to my inner younger self now as if present day me could be younger me's mentor. This has been with the help of my therapist, but there is a power that comes in recognizing my own present day competence and being a mentor to my younger self
In no particular order, I’ve found confidence in knowing I have my wife’s unconditional love, respect and trust--we’re partners to one another to the end. I’ve found confidence in knowing I’m an imperfect parent who’s done his best with sincerity and love. I became far more confident in my work after abandoning seeking approval from others and setting my own standards. I’m confident in having disagreements with others and being able to accept differences without holding a grudge or needing to win the argument. I’m confident that my family trusts me to protect and defend them, regardless of dangers to myself. Confidence and character are different but similar qualities-they intertwine and support each other like strands of a rope. In one’s absence, the other will be overburdened and eventually break down.
I'm seeing this a good while after it was first posted. I'm a dental technician by schooling and 45 years of experience. The thing that boosted my confidence the most was when my supervisor early on told me to stop trying to make the perfect denture. Which is an unattainable goal. He wanted me to give him work done with excellence. I learned that excellence allows you to improve and learn and grow where perfection does not. My work improved as did my confidence. As a Christian I have learned "to do all things as unto the Lord". Which also allows for growth. I agree with your video by the way. Keep up the excellent content. I'm a substance abuse counselor in my second career which overlapped my first career. Again excellence in counseling is my goal.
I was in a very, very low point in my life and so after being encouraged to try and design and build something myself, I gave it a shot (thank you Scott).
I had nothing to lose and only myself to blame if I failed.
I didn’t ask for help, I invested in this project and just had a go, despite zero experience. I bought tools, wood and fixings and built a “tall man’s workbench”.
This project was the start of my confidence coming back. I have not looked back and the haters voices have completely disappeared.
I hope all men discover the secret of backing yourself and ignoring hate, pursuing your own heart, in everything.
My faith in Christ is the foundation, he is my provider and I talk directly with him. My confidence is based in him but you have to have the courage to ride again despite any trauma you’ve experienced. You will overcome and succeed.
Amen. Overcomer.
i talk myself out of doing other things and also a people pleaser... 45 suffering my second burnout and reached epiphany of adhd, teen diagnosis of depression and social anxiety misdiagnosis, symptoms of underlying cause, i throw up and dry heave every morning, wakeup with sheets drenched wih sweat, just got anti anxiety meds and dry sheets for the first time in 7/8 years......
What a wonderful video. I'm a young man who's only just over a year into my career as a carpenter, and confidence has been my number one struggle in improvement. It's a miserable world out there right now, and I know there's alot of people out there like me who are pretty much completely lost. The greatest thing I've found to make life better is in literature and art. It's an essential companion to the tough guy mentality. Authors like Plato and Jordan Peterson are excellent guides for self realization, frameworks to help build yourself as a man. The biggest key I've found is the realization that yes you are likely amazing as who you are, but that doesn't mean perfect. We all have things we need to improve on, and that's completely okay. Understanding that we aren't those heros from stories, but we can be if we work hard enough on the right things, seems to be the foundational stepping stone to creating a good life. And please God, listen to your mentors. Wisdom from the elders is called wisdom for a reason. My biggest regret in life is not spending enough time with my grandpa, and my drive is to be the man he knew I could be.
Aden, your comment has moved me so much! I am a (nearly) 60-year-old woman: if the future rests with young people of your honesty, humanity and sensitivity- as well as your practical skills - the future is hopeful. I wish you every success in your life and chosen calling.
The things that make me confident are having a plan, expertise and training.
As a young man, I feel confident when I’m good at something. That goes off your example of seeing success over time, but I feel self-awareness is important to confidence too. Knowing what you’re doing and your skill level at something has an impact on confidence.
I was a young boy , my grandpa asked me to “never harden to clay “this has stuck with me every day since. He helped me grow more than I ever could imagine. Listening and learning from watching others still have this today at 54’ and going to bring it forward the best I can. He alone setting my foundation as well as holding my eyes wide. I will always remember
I'm a young subcontractor (23)who was an apprentice for many years under my father. I went out on my own 3 years ago doing my own work, I had experience but nothing compared to my dad, and with that I had lots of mistakes. But even through all my mistakes, my parents always had my back. They always knew I would get better over time, which I did. I've been undergoing some bigger projects lately that even my dad hasn't done, so I'm flying blind but they are the ones who gave me the confidence and courage to go out and do it. I'm so grateful for both my parents they are the reason I am who I am today.
I’ve gained immense amounts of confidence through public speaking through readings and church and stepping up to make small presentations at work to a public audience.
Confidence comes with experience and training. When pushed hard we fall back to the level of our training - Jocko Wilink
Im from Norway, and I work on the Powergrid, on both low and high voltage. I've had both my mother and father in the household growing up, we are 4 siblings. What helps me with confidence is working with something that has a purpose, something that make you feel like you take part in society. That you are an important pawn in your society/community and that your fellow workers can rely on you and your skills. Doing a job the right way, being creative and resourceful. Finding solutions to problems. I enjoy working with my hands and create things. I just recently went back to the school bench for some extra education, and I already feel stripped from alot of the confidence that i wield when i work within my field. I will definitely return to my old job once im done with my last year in school. Also, being loved and being able to love someone else is also an awesome feeling. Its a privelige I hope most people dont take for granted.
Having Confidence in myself has allowed me to start as a General Contractor,
This will be my second year in buisness.
I can say that i feel blessed in being able to provide a better and easier life for my Family and also customers.
In the midst of the world feeling like its going down the drain, have some faith things will work out.
Keep Showing up and Keep up the Good Work!
I needed to hear this. I'm 53, retired military, twice divorced, no children and no trade. Confidence usually comes to me when I need it such as when I'm dealing with other people but alone it takes a back seat to harsh self criticism. I've been watching your videos on tools and techniques for a few weeks now because I'm trying to be a handyman and they've helped me a lot. Thank you. This video addresses a different kind of problem I deal with daily. Thank you for posting your thoughts on the subject.
Just keep moving forward. Tomorrow will be a nee day. A chance to make a difference in your life and mabe someone else's. Make a decision. If it turns out not to be the right one you are still moving forward. You can always change your direction or even your approach 😉
Just as an experiment, pick a set of days, like three, in which you replace the harsh self criticism with a voice of compassion in your own head. Compassion and forgiveness. And encouragement. See what happens.
If you need any help or advice with trade questions, you're in the right place to ask.
Do. There's pride and money in learning and no shame in not knowing.
Good luck with your journey.
Ask questions. Be kind to yourself.
Be happy
Confidence is picking myself up from fear or adversity and to continue forward of overcoming my obstacles.
Lately I’ve discovered a source of confidence with the projects I take on around the house. I am not a carpenter, a framer, or any manner of builder, but I am curious and quick to learn new things. I recently rebuilt the balcony on my house. I had never don’t this kind of work before, but I had a clear path in my mind on how to find out how. Long story short, I completed the project with a higher standard of quality than the original. This filled my with the sense of confidence that I can do something I’ve never done before. With the proper patients and research, you can too.
I liked your statement about playing music in front of an audience. If you can get up in front of people, take the risk of looking silly, and make it through it, you can build quite the confidence in other areas. Also, if you don't play an instrument, find opportunities to speak publicly. Thank you sir!
I was born to two of the greatest parents that have ever existed. Thank God they're both still alive and I enjoy their presence often. I do have to say that your knowledge of metal working and of the construction trades is absolutely incredible and your kind heart and willingness to engage and teach also show the amazing man you have become. Much honor. 🙏🔥⚒️
Confidence came from getting over the horrible entitled attitude i had as a young man,and understanding that i had to work for what i wanted. As my career has progressed ive never lost sight of where it started,and what it took to get there. The point you made about gratitude at the end has been the key for me. Your not entitled to anything, simply wake up, put your boots on, and quietly get to work. The confidence comes from earning your place in the world, and being thankful for the people and circumstances, good or bad, that helped along the way
At the age of 28 (coming 29) and a male working in IT as a Linux engineer for 10 years I gained my confidence by delving into fear. As horrible and daunting it is by facing the unknown I found I gained confidence by taking a deep breath, a step back and learning the job step by step.
I am also grateful for having a dad who unfortunately passed away who also worked in IT for over 33 years who shaped by life. He was a coach & mentor not just to me but to others.
As a hobby I do a lot of D.I.Y and in the past two years with the help of my father in-law (a chippy) showed me the ropes. I had again an unknown there but used the principles I learnt in IT to drive my learning in building.
I came to this channel looking to improve my framing skills and came out being grateful for the blessings that I have received.
Thank you Scott and the whole Wadsworth family. Ya'll have been a blessing to me and my family the past few years. If you ever feel discouraged by your RUclips work in ANY way, please remember you're following a calling that's making a gargantuan impact. Thanks and keep up the great work 👍
I think it helps to focus on being friendly, kind and positive, focus on your own integrity, but don't take yourself and others too seriously, try and add a bit of fun into every situation, no matter how dire, it too will pass....if that fails convince yourself that everybody else is mental, not you.
You never know how strong you really are, until the only choice you have, is to be strong, our greatest fears, carry our greatest growth.
As a 50+ Carpenter I'd like to thank you for taking the time, to share your lessons, advice, and your own integrity, learned at the school of hard knocks.
Keep up the good work, I regularly recommend your videos to the hundreds of apprentices I'm involved with training here in New Zealand, I've learned a trick or two myself from you, but I think It's such a shame the US hasn't caught up with the modern world using the metric system.
Getting up in front in church from a early age helped in my confidence. One Wednesday night a month all of our young men would lead a song or read a scripture led to leading worship in song and then teaching a class to adults. Trying to model the life of Christ as in Kipling's prose is something to strive for.
It’s hard to be a quiet person in a trade where people are used to seeing and hearing aggression and profanity. At my job I have to change who I am in order to fit in because I will be perceived as weak. But now I understand that it’s okay to be quiet and that when the time comes I can still be assertive.
Great segment. I'm 63 years young, my journey through life has seen career changes about every 10 years, most recently as an owner of a general contracting company in Alberta. I believe confidence comes from a combination of gaining knowledge about certain aspects in life/vocation and using that knowledge practically by doing the thing. But you have to want to do the thing. It doesn't always work out but you have to try. If you consistently try to get better at the thing you will incrementally gain confidence. Your confidence will show when you become the teacher of the thing. I too am a great believer in gratitude and have no time for ungrateful sons a bitches.
What’s helped me with confidence is always breaking tasks/projects into smaller tasks. True example, needing to rebuild a backhoe transmission (when you’ve done office work your entire life, no mechanics are willing to take on the job).
Project one: was how to remove the tires, and not worrying about anything else. Many “projects” later everything repaired, everything works great.
What made me more confident are two things you stated-steady, loving parents, and performing music. I was horrifically bullied through middle and high school, but it would all wash away stepping into my front door because I knew I was loved. My parents supported me in music, and I quickly became center snare / section leader in band, even through the terrible bullying by my peers. I learned that someone else’s ignorance isn’t my flaw. Someone else’s ire toward me isn’t connected to my ability.
So now, when someone makes unreasonable demands out of their own ignorance, I can confidently say “I can’t do that, but here’s what I can do.” If they bristle and are upset with me, I can confidently let it lie without taking their ignorant criticism personally. I know I do good work, I know what I can do. I know that from experience, which is something no one can take away from me.
Research on bullying shows that nine out of the ten kids who acted as bullies experience deep regret over it years later. The remaining one is either a sociopath in prison or already dead from meeting with comeuppance.
My Dad was a mechanic in the ccc camps back in the 1930s. After his time with the CCC he started working for various construction companies in Utah. Dad was a master mechanic, Shop foreman, etc. My father was the boss and had the ultimate authority and the last say over any decisions made in his shop. All his sons were expected to work in the trade as soon as we came of age. I started working for Dad as a full-time employee back in the Sixties. Old timers back in those days were very vocal and the young ones had to learn to survive massive ass chewins-- Sometimes on a daily basis. Not much of a confidence builder, but that is how it worked back then. Fewer ass chewins meant you were getting better at your job and I guess that was our confidence builder. As time went on I paired with some wise old birds who took me under their wing and taught me more and more about the trade and that made me confident. A hitch in the Corps during the Vietnam War blessed me with some fantastic electrical training and that made me more arrogant than confident. One saying always stuck with me. "Do the Best you can, The very best you can. And if that's not good enough Then to hell with it. lol I retired from the heavy equipment repair trade back in 2009.
As an apprentice carpenter, I am blessed with having a journeyman and foreman to work under that communicate to me how well I'm doing and let me know mistakes are part of the job of learning. This has made me more confident than ever at work. As a father of two, my kids cuddling up to me, even if I feel I've fallen short, and telling me they love me is everything I need to feel confident.
Having an Exit plan / worst case scenario gives me the boost I need.
Like you, I've been blessed with steady parents. My dad is 90 now, and always taught us not to be afraid to try. My mom is 85, and is an encourager, especially when I've tried and failed. Both are people of tremendous faith, which they've modeled for us children. Life has been tough at times, but there is an inner strength that comes from serving one who is greater than ones self.
I have worked in a family firm for over 60 years and continue to be thankful for the confidence I gained from the support of my father as I grew up. He has been gone for 20+ years but I still hear his words every day guiding me, praising me and yes, correcting me.
Thank you for the wisdom, insight and reminders of what it takes to be confident in life.
Blessings for your mission!
'IF' Is a beautiful and great piece of literature. Discovered it in my early 20's and it brings a shiver down my spine every time I hear it read.
Confidence is definitely a skill that you grow, and nourish. I played music in highschool, and performed in plays, but I'm definitely still nervous doing things in front of people, but I can attest that it does get easier if you do it on the regular.
Being a contractor, and a young one at that, I've definitely increased in my confidence simply by experience, until one day I realized that when the customer asked me to do something I had no idea about doing, I just said yes, knowing that I could figure it out, or had the skills to find a way to do it. The internet has definitely helped in this regard, as you can always find an answer, or a way of doing something new.
Some people are naturally more confident simply out of ignorance, or because of their personality, or any number of other reasons, but you can always become more confident. THE KEY - Humility. Know what you know, recognize what you don't know, and know that you can find out or figure out what you don't know. Stay humble, yet confident.
I was raised by a single mother who taught me so many of these values. She became a widow when I was just two years old when my father died at age 45. She too died when I was just 24 years old, but I continue to learn from her memory and her example still today, 30 years after her death. The two best lessons she taught me are "in all things, follow the golden rule", and "you can't truly love anyone until you love yourself".
I am 28 years old and I have watched this video a total of 37 times these are the words I always wish I was told but never knew I needed I know it's late but I'm glad I was able to hear them and it has made me a thousand times stronger mentally and it's taught me forgiveness it's taught me confidence it's taught me patience it's taught me to pick up a book and it's taught me to never give up thank you from the bottom of my heart I'm strong enough to get a job now I know I no longer wallow and self-doubt and I will repay you when I can I know you didn't make this expecting to get anything out of it and that's why you deserve so much more
Jeez 37 times?
It takes me quite a while to soak something into my being I'm still watching it but I quit counting I just want to be a strong pillar for my family because no one else can within it.
@@porkchop1659 alright my bad, i read that in a joking manner and just thought that was a lot of times. But hey i respect you for taking care of the family, oh btw check out Elisha long, he has good content on being a man
28 isn't late. Read some Jack London as he mentions in the video. Call of the wild, White Fang and To build a fire all impart something that stays with you long after you read them.
You are at a good age to begin learning trombone. I didn't start until I was 50.
From 13 years of age - I worked in the restaurant business. I was very, very shy - so I hid by only working the line (kitchen). Eventually I become a certified chef and the next step was Executive Chef (the boss). But, I lacked the confidence to tell people what to do. I needed to propel my career into learning how to manage a crew. So, found a restaurant that professionally trained how to manage people and one of the first things they did was make you work all the jobs in a restaurant (cooking, dishwashing and serving). Which made me face my biggest fear: meeting THE CUSTOMERS. Quickly found out it was nothing to fear but enjoy. Talking with all the different people you'd meet in life when they are in the role of 'the customer' was the highlight of my work.
Being in the restaurant business is one of the best ways to gain confidence. Serving people keeps you humble (which leads to gratefulness) and it pushed you out into the world.
Great message. I like that you mentioned the stability your parents and their faith provided. My parents were the same way. Married 61 years, not perfect but stable. It has been a large part of the mental and emotional stability of myself and my siblings. Watching your videos is like sitting down and talking with my dad again;they’re a real blessing for me. I’m sure many of your followers view you as their second dad or the dad they didn’t know. Your videos make a big difference in these men’s lives. Thank you for sharing your experience and convictions.
You’re 100% right-confidence and assertiveness are NOT the same. I’ve been in many rooms with people demanding unreasonable things out of their own ignorance. I say “this is what I can do, instead.” If they bristle and reassert their unreasonable demands, I can smile and say “I’m not your man” with no sense of deflation or shame. Sometimes backing off is the most confident thing you can do.
From australia. I really loved this video. Im a builder/carpenter , My father was a carpenter/builder, my grandparents sculpters and painters.
It's nice to know tradesman and builders in other countries have the exact same thoughts and insecurities we have.
Love your work keep it up
Becoming an Army Officer and getting out in front of troops blasted my confidence out of this world! It changed my life! Blessed at 67!
In general, my mindset is: What's the worst that can happen? I'm just going to learn from this - whether the outcome is "good" or "bad". No one enjoys mistakes, but they're DEFINITELY good teachers...as long as you pay attention! lol Thanks for all the knowledge Scott.
If this old man can be a creator and be honest abt wtf he does there are no excuses to others. Well done sir
Like you Scott, I was blessed to have two parents. They taught as much, if not more, by example as by actual instruction. I was also shy as a child, never eager to stand up in front of the class to speak. Playing music might have helped more than it did had I embraced practicing. Some how, through becoming a Math major and then transferring to the school of Education, I wound up teaching High School Math for two years. Once you force yourself to speak to a group a number of times you find yourself able to face almost any group. I drifted into construction, finding that producing something tangible was more satisfying than dealing with teenagers. I was content to work for other contractors for years until things shifted to where I was being classified as an independent subcontractor. That was the point where I figured I needed to take on side cobs and eventually go out on my own.
Oddly enough the last ten years or so I have gotten into coaching in our local youth bowling program and am enjoying working with teens and tweens and kids. There is a definite correlation between practicing, developing skill and consistency, and confidence.
What a great video. As requested here is what has made me a confident man. Much like yourself I was fortunate at a very young age to play a musical instrument. The bagpipes of all things, and was part of a band that played in public. Now when your in a marching pipes and drums band you have to memorize all the tunes, lots of pressure. As my instrumental life progressed I eventually became pipe major of the band and was the leader. Kept tempo, called out what to play etc. lots of times a piper is needed to do solo performances for things like weddings, formal ceremonies and funerals. I did my fair share of them all, the whole bagpipe thing combined really built my Confidence as a young man. Aside from the instructors the band was for minors only so once I turned 18 I was no longer able to play with the band. I was great for every single person I ever seen go through the band and it’s processes. Now I’m my adult life I am a application Specialist with the local Cat dealer, it is very specialized. The way I got most confident in my career was to not assume I know everything, study your craft or your product in my case. Know it like the back of your hand, so that you are able to give honest, accurate and reliable information when the customer asks questions, and never be afraid to say that you don’t know but that you will find out the answer and get it to them. Never make up an answer to look like a pro, it’ll bite you every time. All these life experiences are what gave me the courage to start my channel, and to have the confidence to talk to myself into a camera for millions of people to watch and criticize, judge, etc. it’s not easy putting yourself out there for the world. Thanks for another great video folks.
The 1st video I found of yours was the “How to be productive” and it truly made a change in me. I have gone back and viewed it many times(even just last week) and love this video as an addition to that series. I found that through my 20’s i was trying to please everyone else and I didn’t really have a “place” yet in this world. I hadn’t found the thing that I can bring to help another and because of that I was a ship without a rudder. Watching this video now for the 2nd time(back to back) I do think you directly hit on some points that I have experienced. I also had steady parents, played music, and most importantly (to me) I have spent time studying the Bible and trying to apply practices/teaching that came from Jesus (and even some from the Old Testament) and it has made a huge difference in my life. Starting with being honest 100% of the time right down to working a hard days work and with those two things I am not afraid to look in the mirror anymore because I like the man I have become. That feeling alone has blossomed into something more than I ever could have understood but has given me the firm standing on what I should do that is right and what I should not do that is wrong and is my guiding light to my next steps. If I’m about to do something that will make me not feel comfortable when I look in the mirror I give myself a timeout to figure out what the problem is and what my next step should be to adjust and make the right decision. Love this channel and love your wisdom and the fact that you are so great at expressing yourself and giving us all something to “chew on” to improve ourselves. Keep up the great “hard” work. Thank you!!!!
Confidence has grown as I try new things, both with failure and success. Working with folks who are more experienced, and sticking with it until the finish have been important. Performing in front of an audience, as you mentioned, was huge. Upon frustration with a project, such as building a guitar from scratch, putting it away, then returning later, and eventually finishing it has really made me feel good and confident in my ability. I'm 67, have built 16 homes, an airplane, completed 3 Ironman events, and many other projects small and large. Keep trying until you finish, or decide that it may be beyond your capability. Thanks to RUclips and you for allowing us to tap knowledge of those more experienced, building confidence for completion.
For me, spending time with myself was the key. I hiked across the UK carrying everything I needed on my bag. This helped me to get to experience my limits and exceed them, and also thought me to be comfortable with silence and my thoughts.
It also taught me that you can do unthinkable things when you set your mind to it and that they need to be approached step by step and that you will not be able to fathom your achievements looking back from the tops to where you came from.
Thanks for the great video!
This is why I am so thankful I got to work with older guys in construction. I am 50 been in HVAC trade for 34 year's and with out there guidance would never took a chance for the shop Forman job to which I have been doing for the last 9 year's thank you
Never feel this way in the moment, but making mistakes and learning from it has built some confidence. Thanks for being one of the steady ones.
I learned to find confidence from my father while doing projects from before when I can remember. As life went on I've been blessed with Senior Chief Johnson and Chief Jones in the military, then my very good friend Bill, who led me to the Lord, showed me how to survive with my head intact while dealing with a broken marriage, and many more great men who inspired me during my life through market crashs and twists life has thrown me through the past 15 years. And now I've found you and John Switser a very great help as I take on my next episode of life preparing for retirement and starting a small shop to keep me out of the recliner. Keep doing what your doing as it inspires many followers. Thank You!
Oh my! Your parents are adorable! I just found your channel and love how you present things! As a retired teacher, your advice is spot on! It hurts my heart to know you were so anxious before school each day. I’m so glad you overcame that. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. You have earned a new subscriber.
Re confidence: I believe it comes from something I call grit. I used to teach this in my classroom. It is another way of saying saddle up. Taking risks and learning from those “mistakes” helps to build knowledge to do things differently, which in turn builds confidence.
"How to be more productive" is my favorite video you've ever done. I watch it a couple times a year.
Confidence for me is not being afraid to fail and like you said having the gratitude for the opportunity to learn.
just came out to my office (a camper trailer i got off my sister in law) to try and figure out my week after a job had fallen through. Ive only been in business since middle of september so every one counts. feeling a little discouraged i thought i would waist some time on you tube. instead i watched this video and began to count my blessings and all the times i had thought "this is it" and God carried me a little further than i thought i could go. Thank you for being authentically you! Also thank you son for recognising your talent with this channel.
I love that you carry on Larry Haun's spirit. You carry on the spirit of so many knowing and loving people. Just lost someone who you remind me of. A confident and grateful person who taught me so much about the trades, sports, love, and life. I'm so glad for you and your family, take care and thanks for offering your path to so many others!
At the age of 18, my car motor failed, and I completely and confidently tore it down and rebuilt it from the ground up, using the knowledge I had gained from a 6-week, small engines course in high school, along with a step-by-step motor repair manual. The motor ran perfectly for many years after (even past the actual life of the vehicle).
Years later, talking to my father about this experience, he confided in me that when he saw the motor all torn down, with motor parts all over the garage, he didn't think it would ever run again.
Completing this project so successfully gave me a lot of confidence going forward that with careful research and patience, I could figure out just about any challenge that might come my way in life.
First, thank you Scott for making this video. The timing of this discussion for myself and I imagine many others could not be more perfect. This is a topic I have been struggling with lately despite my many years and experience in my current profession.
Ironically one of the reasons I subscribe to your channel is the confidence you exude even when faced with new challenges for which you may have limited experience. The thought of you having any insecurities is unfathomable!!! It is for this reason and many others that I view you as a mentor, one who can impart a wisdom to inspire others to undertake new challenges. There are tools and processes I have been willing to pursue after watching you do the same. Your willingness to share knowledge, and at times failures with your audience in the manner you do is both defining and a reflection of your tremendous character. The power and significance of that cannot possibly be measured, but you should know the affect your channel has on its viewers.
As a "recovering musician" I can also speak to the importance of public performance. Learning to channel the fear and anxiety of performing before strangers into something imperceptible to your audience has tremendous value. It is a skill I hope to impart on my daughter who by the grace of God appears to be following in my footsteps.
Keep up the amazing work. You are truly an exceptional person and your presence here on RUclips is truly motivating for so many of us.
At 46 I’m still learning a lot, and though I don’t feel an abundance of confidence right now, I hope someday I can look back on these years and realize I did pretty ok.
I find one thing very powerful to help regulate ego, and that’s to understand the best you can the limits of your knowledge. It is said the smart ones are those who realize they don’t know it all.
I quite often pause before answering because I want to make sure I don’t speak beyond what I can prove to be right. I would likely make a poor politician 😂
Thank you for your insights. My Dad was career navy and that kept him away a lot. My Mom was always there but not a man. Grandfathers, whether our parents were there or not, are invaluable to a young mans growth and affirmation. My grandfather taught me to work and to tell the truth, good or bad. They are both gone now but I strive to honor them in the way I live my life. You remind me of my grandfather, though we are close in age, by the way you always build and never tear down. Keep up the good work!
I have found confidence in knowing my level of competence and striving to increase that competence. Studying hard and practicing. Learning technique and doing repetitions of that technique. I am trying to learn to feel proud of my accomplishments without being prideful if that makes sense. I also find confidence in learning from others, knowing that I am a life long learner and regardless of how much knowledge one has on any subject, there is always more to learn. That learning can come from a master or a novice. I find deep joy in watching my own, or someone else's development over months and years and a lifetime. I appreciate this channel and what you are sharing. It comes from a good place and it's done in a good way. Thank you folks.
I love these videos even being older they give me plenty to think about. The one thing that has helped me over the years, I suppose could be described as "fake it til you make it" or basically looking at someone that has the confidence or traits that you desire and working to incorporate (I won't say necessarily imitate since that is more superficial) those aspects into yourself. As you touched on, this is a form of practice and practice makes perfect. Thank you for pointing out the relationship of gratitude to confidence - that had never particularly occurred to me, but now that I see it, I see how they are intertwined and maybe balance the darker aspects of confidence and where it might lead.
My self-confident training is as follows
#1 Identify the things that are good, moral, positive. A prayer, A book, A creed, A oath. Repeat multiple times a day or read over and over. (this begins to program or reprogram my brain in the direction I want to go)
#2 Take risks that are challenging, flirt with failure but not catastrophic consequences.
#3 Acknowledge my failures find creative solutions don't beet myself up to bad look for more things that I did right.
#4 Surround myself with people that are moving the same direction I want to go.
Repeat, Repeat, Repeat.
I love the channel keep up the good work
Hi Scott, this is a wonderful and a needed video right now for me, IF was given to me by my grandmother many years ago on a wooden plaque and it sits upon my toolbox and I read it every few days and it reminds me of her. I feel like I can hear her reading it to never give up! My dad is also the same way of having the confidence to open something up that doesn’t work and will figure it out and usually make it better than new! He’s a great source of confidence. Can’t wait for the next one!
I would say the biggest confidence builder I ever had was learning combat in martial arts. Being in the trades aggression and posturing from others is the typical way to display their confidence and to protect their ego. Knowing how to handle confrontation and being skilled in that craft helps to keep emotions in check and handle the situation with more confidence knowing that the escalation would be easily handled and how to identify what is a threat and what is words. For me it gives me room to use my brain and removes that from the table of outcomes.
I spent 22 years full-time in the trades. Worked on jobs both large and small. I really never worried about blusterers and posers. I always ignored them, did my work, and let it speak for itself.
That does NOT mean I always kept my cool, but no one could complain about my work performance or the product I turned out.
I always figured that those who spent their time yakking about their abilities or talking down mine were just insecure about themselves. Water - duck.
When I was 22, I was on a job and asked for a raise commensurate with the work I was doing. One of the "old men" on the job (about 55) overheard my request, but did not hear the answer later in the day. At the end of the day, he asked how it went and I told him I had gotten the raise. He said, "good for you,. They owed you, your a damn good worker". I floated for a long time on that simple praise.
Just imagine your good fortune to have this person as your next door neighbor when you are just starting out in life... I've enjoyed my DIY projects for many decades and I can always learn something useful on this wonderful channel. To answer your question: I lacked confidence up through my mid-20s when, after my time in the military, simple things became clear. Like the shape of a Nautilus, small wins propelled me onto to bigger ones and within a blink of an eye, I went from living in the barracks in West Texas (a priceless lesson...), to looking at my fancy business card while sitting late at night in my newly assigned office. Without realizing it at the time, I had gained confidence by saddling up even when I was afraid... and doing so anyway. Ok. I've finished this great video as well as my coffee and it is time to get back to my project! ;)
The wisdom here is priceless. I’ve always appreciated your videos and enjoyed different aspects but this is different and I think I really needed to hear it at this point in my life. You are a great mentor, even if you’re just on my iPad and I’ll probably never meet you. Thank you for veering off of your normal path for this video, it was really incredible. Much respect!
1. Practice makes perfect (ensuring you have quality practices)
2. Comfortable being the "dumbest" one in the room. Always be asking questions, always be looking to learn a different point of view
3. A realization that you don't always have to be right, or the one who seeks the credit. (Inward insight to know that the higher purpose isn't about being right, or getting the credit)
4. That you are a servant, looking for a way to make something better in the world.
5. Your John Wayne quote has always helped.
6. My dad, and thinking about his quiet, life long demonstration of confidence through out my life
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, knowledge, and experience. The legacy you are building for the multitude of viewers and who knows how many second and third order impacts along with the sort of time capsule you are building for future generations of your family, fills my heart.
Really appreciate you sharing your wisdom and your philosophy with us Scott. You’re a real good guy it’s damn good of you to try to help us all think a little bit more about what we’re doing and how we’re doing it..
I grew up with a man who was a bully. And by that calculus I was not a bully but I had no confidence. However, I also at a later time grew up with another man who, while I would never call him skilled with his hands was skilled with people in a way that amazes me to this day. He never taught me to be confident rather he have me the opportunities to learn it myself. He pushed me to stretch my boundaries and try things I likely would never have ever tried. And it was a slow build up. By the time I was interested in girls, while my other friends stood around anxiously pushing each other to go as a girl out, I was spinning them around a dance floor. Not because I was the best looking, best dancer, or the funniest, but because I'd been pushed to learn that really being true to yourself was being humble enough to go out and open yourself to someone you didn't know and being happy enough with myself that rejection, which may sting, didn't kill me. I've used those principles to travel the world, to give my best in everything I do, and to never let others be bullied. Many moons later I've raised three wonderful kids, been married for twenty plus years happily, and to keep learning every damned day.
Great video as always, I like how you apply craftsmanship and life lessons. Just a young person starting in the trades, a few things that developed my confidence as a person:
- Public Performance, it’s something that both challenges you but also teaches how to read people.
-Stepping outside your comfort zone. Develop the understanding that you can indeed do anything.
-Being a mentor of others, the realization that people look up to you as an example is incredibly uplifting .
-Taking personal responsibility. A quote told to me in highschool “nobody is coming to save you… God is testing you, and when you come out on the other side, your gonna see exactly why he tested you”.
Always know that you are the captain of your ship, you step up and call the shots in order to succeed.
Well I haven’t necessarily been super confident ever but what I have learned is do the stuff you love man. If you love it pursue it if it doesn’t go your way just please move on because I struggle with it but life is like a 2 heavy ropes you’ll hurt yourself holding on to the lower one (your past) if you hold it for to long. Let go so you can help yourself better.
Mornin'