Stranger Danger is definitely a thing, but children are most vulnerable around their closest family members and a good 70% of the time its your own family that abuse you.
@@christinat4689 I completely agree with you, I would do the same if my kids were harmed. I don't think it was mentioned and it could be the case that she and her sister were the only ones abused, however, I have a feeling that there was multi-generational abuse. I think the Great grandad has been at this a long time with his own family (her mother and grandmother) and involving others in it. The fact that the Church was teaching that it was on the women to control the males sexual appetites also would feed into alot of shame around this type of situation, purely hypothetical mind, but I just don't see a person suddenly turning into an abuser in his 70's.
@@moondust1992 100% agree. Growing up in a religious school and the church myself, I knew a quite a lot of Christians who mainly cared about how they were perceived by their pastors or fellow Christians. Looking like “a grounded God-fearing family” was what everyone strived to be. I also realized that a lot of them would use their faith in God in justify a lot of shitty beliefs and bigoted thinking. Its really backwards, ironic considering what Jesus actually preached, and just sad.
its worse than that, it's the way people see kids in general, as having no autonomy or rights. in some families kids are basically property. parents force their kids to hug and kiss relatives they've never met, then we're surprised that relatives abuse kids?
This girl is so brave. I went through similar things as a 4yr+ with a family member and later down the road not from family. They never had any charges or reports against them and it’s dealing/trying to grow after having those things happen that feels impossible. Specially when family isn’t behind you because it was done by family. There is no black and white way to handle sexual abuse regardless who the predator is.
He was a great grandparent at 70, and she was 6? So he became a great grandfather at 64, so there was generations of kids all having kids at 16? So sad.
This is so sad, and this girl desirves so much love and protection from her parents and they just gave them silent... and stell she has so much love for them.. so so sad 😭
Stop the irresponsibility when you become a parent. If you have already, somehow, became a parent stop being or doing what YOU already KNOW is 💯 absolutely WRONG. All children deserve parents, not all parents deserve to have children. Stop it. Do better. Be better. Our entire world is dependent upon how well YOU are raising your children to become responsible, compassionate, giving, and an asset in their community. All communities combined equals an even greater amount of individuals who values, morals, and ethics towards work, family, and every aspect that will make the world 🌎 an awesome place to WANT to have and raise children in.
I’m sure this guy also abused women in the generations above her, including his daughter (her grandma). Likely played into the family’s decision to be complicit. Makes me so sad and angry.
Yup. This kind of abuse does not just involve grooming the current victim, it involves grooming the entire family. As the great grandfather, this grooming was multiple generations deep and most likely involved at least some level of sexual interference with every young girl (and possibly some of the boys) that this pervert had control over/access to. When the abuse gets normalized in the family, the horror at its revelation is gone. Normal, non-abused people react appropriately with rage and action, but abused people are like the frog boiled slowly in the pot of water - the abuse is already there, but public shame can be avoided - once abuse is normalized, other (unimportant) considerations can take precedence in the family. That's why these things stay in families for multiple generations. It takes a fighter who is willing to address the abuse directly, like this young woman, in order to end the cycle. She is very strong brave to have done so.
They all knew about the abuse, they’ve all been abused. There were drugs, other people, other children, and her sister was abused too... the parents not doing anything... THE FATHER! That’s crazy, it wasn’t even the grandfather it was the great grandfather, and it was habitual, I’m sure her grandmother and her children experienced the abuse. Sounds like a system of ritualistic abuse, not just a creepy grandfather...
I know this is personally just me, but I would tell my family every gruesome detail after them reacting the way yours did. They deserve to live with those details since they knew about it, chose to do nothing and not believe me.
@@yyg4632 SHE deserves for people to know her truth. She's has to live her whole life thinking about what he did to her. And her parents should know all the details too. They failed her.
This involved intergenerational abuse. Meaning an entire family line of complicity and abuse. If she were to share details, they could possibly rage at her and abuse her more (narcissistic denial is pathologically strong. They could be triggered and remember the details of their own abuses by that grandfather. They suppress those abuses with denial, and fight anyone who reminds them of what they're suppressing. This is how intergenerational abuse works in many families). Every child has reasons for the choices they ultimately make. And those choices probably saved her life.
@@genevieves8908 she deserves for people to know “the truth” of what happened to her. It’s not like it’s her version and there’s some other version where this didn’t happen. If what she says is the truth, then it’s the truth, not “her truth”.
As a parent, I cannot imagine not absolutely annihilating someone who hurt your child in this way. Or at the very least, getting police involved. Regardless of who it is. This story makes me want to vomit.
I absolutely understand your reaction to this horrific situation and my knee-jerk reaction is the same. But victims are often so horribly traumatized by what happened to them as children that they are unable or unwilling to bear to speak about it ... to anyone. I wonder if her mother (and her grandmother, other aunts, cousins, etc.) were also victims of this monster and, because of their trauma, she was unable to act? Sexual abuse can cause many psychological issues as we age. Some can never speak about it, to anyone, even to therapists, doctors, psychiatrists, etc. The shame and fear of being "found out" that was beaten into them by their abusers and their church upbringing is irreparable. Sadly, I know too well. Not that it's in any way right, or even forgiveable for her parents not to act to protect her as a child, but compassion for the mother makes me understand how it might have been difficult or even impossible for her traumatized brain to act.
@@carolmurphy7572 statistically, you’re probably right that he also abused other family members. Which is awful, and also something I cannot imagine or relate to. Horrible situation all around, and I’m glad he’s not around to hurt anyone else.
The fact they didn't tell the police is least surprising to me. They probably didn't want to attract the hate & shame. For me, it's the fact they wanted her to keep acting like everything's normal. And hug and kiss this guy. Very sick.
The trauma that some of these people involved was likely so great. We know he didn’t start this disgusting practice at the age of 70 when he suddenly had an attraction to a 6 year old great great granddaughter. This is decades of perpetual abuse, shame, hurt, anger, etc… it’s not right but it sounds like there was a room full of abuse victims who were living with trauma. It’s very difficult to understand for people who have never had to live through something like this. As a survivor myself, I would go to jail for my children if I ever found out anyone came near my children in this way.
I’m sure others have said this but, there’s no way this man hadn’t been doing that to children his whole adult life. Others are in denial about their own abuse so they must’ve been sweeping it under the rug for yrs.
Joe just trying to keep it together the whole time. The woman’s a survivor and her story could help out a lot of women. Thanks for sharing things like this on the podcast.
Thanks for posting. I was raped by my grandfather when I was 26. And so embarrassed because of my age I thought I could of stopped it but I just froze up. didn't wanna tell anyone bc I never heard of a grandparent doing something like this. I'm healed from that and stronger... sending my love to all the survivers out there
I doubt that’s his first time, I wonder if he’s done things to other female members of the family I means he’s been around for 3 generations of kids. Also I feel like if she feels like she can she should still go to the police, if other men were there this was an organized sex ring and maybe they can link some of those other men back to the great grandfather. I wonder if the church was involved somehow
I can absolutely guarantee you that her mother and, very likely, other female members of her family are also victims of that monster. That level of secrecy and denial in a family is groomed into them from a very young age, by family members' behaviours and by church teachings. I believe she likely went into the field of counselling/therapy in an attempt to heal herself as well as to help others. The fact that she is still unable to confront her parents (and, by extension, other extended family members) about their lack of action speaks volumes. Her mother likely wouldn't/couldn't act on it because of her past traumas and to confront the old man would force her to admit that it also happened to her snd other female family members (including at least one other of her daughters). While the church aspect of the story may not be actual involvement in or covering up of the crimes committed by her great grandfather, it obviously plays a role in that she was taught by that church (as her other family members were) about subservience and obedience. Again, the parents' insistence on keeping up appearances, forcing her to still visit the farm and hug/kiss that monster speaks to the level of brainwashing that the family has undergone. That occurs innocuously over generations and is very much based in the power and control of most religious organizations. She doesn't fully recognize that herself ... yet. Perhaps she never will. It was essier to just wait until the old man died than to bring the trauma to light by confronting him or involving the police in the matter. All the females, through generations, would likely have experienced the same thing and it would be painful to force them to admit that it also happened to them and they were too ashamed or afraid to speak up about their abuse. Easier and less painful to others to just repress it than force others to relive their traumas. "Be a good girl, or something worse will happen" was taught to her by her great grandfather as he beat her, held her head underwater and threatened to abuse her little sister if she spoke to anyone else about it.
No it wasn't. I have friends who went against the grain and left the home at 12/13 to get away from their abusive father, uncle, or grandfather. Often times years down the line, my friends find out the family member did it to their cousins and the older women knew about it. However they rather turn a blind eye. Family don't care about your abuse, they keep pushing the you should forgive the other person mantra. It's toxic.
He abused this whole family. He had to of. He was so brazen to abuse her under a blanket under the nose of everyone in the room. This is decades of abuse. Decades of disgusting pedophilia sex ring sh*t. You don’t at 70 years old all of a sudden get involved w other pedo’s and say “oh hey guys I have a barn and a granddaughter let’s do this!”. This family is living with generational trauma. So so so sad. This man was likely abused himself. He was a victim who turned in to a perpetrator.
But when the media says young women in headlines when it’s clearly a child that’s where I find my anger is directed. I understand the frustrations. But here I believe it was just an accidental screw up
From a person that was s*xually abused by my own female cousin I can say that abuse is something that runs in family more than you guys can imagine. We care way too much about a white van outside not knowing that leaving a kid unattended with an adult of your family could be potentially more dangerous.
Me too! And now we just act like nothing ever happened. She’s got a husband and kids now so it feels like it would only cause damage if I were to confront her about it. Now that I am older I wonder if she was being abused by someone else? Life is something else
It sickens me this man has gotten away with it for so long, he’s definitely been abusing children for a long time and it seems quite organized. Why are none of these men jailed, this is generations of no one speaking out, it’s just so sad. How many men are out there doing this and we have no idea, honestly your family is so much more likely to abuse you than a stranger. Be observant folks
This person has clearly done a TON of personal growth and inner healing, what a wise person to have such a beautiful perspective on life after such a horrific past.
I’m 21 now. When I was around 8-9, my 15 year old cousin would ask to play house with me and make the do things to her and she did things to me. The whole “your experience is valid and real even though others don’t believe you,” made me cry, because we are both females. I’ve only ever told one person in my life because it feels as if no one will take it as serious as if it would’ve been a male cousin. The trauma is still real
They preach bullshit like "keeping the family together" like fuck that. A family member who does heinous acts, should never be allowed in family functions Never.
This is a generational thing. He mostly likely done this to many children in the family. This is why it goes on for so long and the family didn’t do anything about it.
22:12 she doesn't want to tell her parents about her trauma because of how it will upset THEM, and she doesn't want to deal with grieving the loss of her parents on top of all of it.. shes still covering for her abusers all these years later, taking the emotional burden on for herself. hearing her say shes at the age where you become friends with your parents makes me think she's still in her 20s...when you get a bit older you realize that its not that hard to be a good adult or person and your parents just suck. shes been through a lot and isn't nearly as healed or moved on as she seems to believe. every new stage of life will bring a new perspective of this experience and the healing will go on for decades
Is like a kid that is proud to be extremely mature and adult like ...no that's just trauma ...she is letting slide the guilt of everyone like everyone is a Saint ...she is around people that was ok with that ..I personally wouldn't associate with people like that blood or no blood
Agree with the above statement, I think she is avoiding the confrontation with parents over this, and wants them so badly in her life, she is just bypassing them.
Not gunna lie those parents should be held legally responsible. They knew about child abuse and did absolutely nothing. That’s a crime. They should without a doubt do time for this wither the daughter agrees with it or not. Justice and punishment must be served.
It’s really sad. When I pray I give thanks for my parents that have been so good to me, when you get older and hear what other people have to grow up with. I’m just grateful for my loving family for not having any of these issues 😢
You don't know what you'd do. Abuse like this involves the entire family who raised you, not just the perp. When everyone is complicit, a child often has no choice but to be silent and take responsibility for the abuse. Decades of that does a number on your head. Can physically take away your ability to speak out. Often the best people can do in this situation is go no contact.
I'm gonna be honest, I can't type out what I'm feeling. I just wonder if her mother grew up in a similar situation and that was a part of why they chose that option? It's heartbreaking knowing that this is probably a common way that families deal with things like this. I'm so glad that she seems to have come to some sort of peace but at the same time, listening to this was hard, there was a few times I had to close my eyes and put my head in my hands... I can't, and don't want to imagine this being a reality for a little girl. Thank you guys... All 3 of you Xoxo
I felt so much anger while listening to this one. I grew up within a religious household too. Her saying the church taught her to feel guilty and responsible for the sexual urges of men is something I heard growing up as well. That's the cornerstone of "modesty culture" and it shames women instead of holding men responsible for their actions. That sort of teaching can go die in a fire. It so destructive and still a sore spot with me. Her saying "Everything being about appearances" also really resonated. That's exactly how my family was. Kudos to her for her strength and willingness to help others who have gone through the same experiences. She's done incredible inner work too, which is amazing.
That triggered me so much too. I'm religious and grew up in a religious background and that kind of heretical bull shit theology angers me so much. I believe in a just God and believe that these religious "teachers" will one day be judged for this.
I share your feelings. I was introduced to the Christian faith in my teenage years and it was good, I needed something like that in my life but then I got familiar with the religious community... the shaming, the cautioning against certain behaviors, actions, thoughts, people. And I don't mean my priest having a conversation with me directly, that was always on point, but then you see random people who are taught not to judge others judging your every move, and spreading rumors about each other. I didn't want to become like that so I had to distance myself from it all. It didn't lessen my faith, just made me more cautious with people.
shame on her family. we need to call this what it is, an incredibly strong woman who has been forced to heal on her own, without support of her family or (it sounds like) professionals. i don’t blame her at all for maintaining a relationship with her parents but i could and would never. those parents are deplorable for not doing ANYTHING to remove her from that man or help her in the aftermath. it seems to me this is glossed over as a coping mechanism. very very understandable but just so sad
As much as I feel the same, having been through it as well - I used to say this to bypass my traumatized feelings. I would use unauthentic gratitude to justify what happened, to make it okay. So you attribute your current strengths to what he did. The truth is she is inherently strong. She can inherently help others. He couldn't snuff out the bright light within her. It's part of who she is, and not part of what he made her.
I was raped by my dad from 8-16 on and off and I grew a lot from that. I also gave him a lot of forgiveness. But her story is waaayy more extreme. Especially being drugged and him having another young girl at the barn. Man... For us who go through this as young females and males and are still here living and sharing our stories with strength... Thats AMAZING OF US.
You choose to live and grow and thrive after going through the most heart wrenching betrayal and that is a testament to the sheer power of your spirit. I am so proud of you.
@@l-pv5793my exact thoughts.. and I feel like she downplayed her own experience, being raped by the person who helped create you, for 8 years is terrible. Just because she didn’t get drugged doesn’t make it any less worse than this woman on the videos situation.. that type of thing should never be forgiven.
I am a survivor of sexual abuse from within my family. It took a long time to understand it is abuse and even longer to understand that those who stayed silent around it or forced me to be in the environment, are complicit in the abuse. We all have our own journey in healing. But victims do not owe anyone who surrounded their abuse the ability to remain comfortable. For myself, once I removed all abusers, facilitators of said abuse and deniers out of my life, I blossomed, healed and became more successful than I could have imagined. This is the story of one strong woman. May she find continued peace and success free from the chains of her past.
This reminds of all the SRA stories . This is ritualistic abuse, no doubt. This is backwoods hidden “Christian”sects who abuse children for satanic worship. If you read into it, you will see a lot of overlaps in her story in so many other stories. I am sure her mother had endured the same fate by her father . This is systemic ritual abuse.
I don't understand how the other young girl explained her missing shirt to her parents without explaining that a grown man was attempting to sexually assault her and another girl stabbed him so they could get away. I know that abusers do anything they can to isolate you but that girl got away. I was sexually abused by my step brother from the age of 5 until I was 9 and physically abused by his horrible mother also. I even stopped talking completely for almost a whole year. My mom finally got custody of us but it's a long complicated story. The court ordered my step brother to get counseling and his mother wasn't suppose to ever marry another man with young children. But that's exactly what she did and the court never did anything. She had moved to another county though and this all happened between 1987 - 1991. Things were definitely different back then compared to now. My family knew something was going on but I wouldn't say anything about it. My aunt's dog had had a litter of puppies so my aunt put me in her bedroom with the puppies and told me to tell the puppies everything that happened. She recorded it and that's how my family finally found out what was going on. I feel pretty lucky though for 2 reasons: 1. My family was clever and got me and my sister out of that situation and 2. Due to the trauma of everything that happened I don't remember much about it but what I do remember I'll never be able to forget. I wish her the best, it's so horrible her parents failed her so badly.
I worked with a young girl about 14 who was trafficked by the her grandparents after her parents died. I worked with many kids with deep trauma and it’s is sad how it it’s usually family that cause the most harm
Scarily female family members can be just as abusive and your only way to protect your child is to talk openly about their bodies and boundaries and who they can tell etc x
@@snics0619 period. Or anyone you don’t trust your entire worth to. Because it’s your child! I already know at any given point I cannot trust 8/10 in that room.
Honestly, hearing this I think I looked exactly like Joe the more I listened to the episode. She is stronger than me because I’d let God forgive my parents and never speak to them again. I hope that she gets all of the good things in life because she deserves it and more and I’m glad that she has found the closure of being able to move on the way she did.
I think it does require strength to forgive, but so does any act you take to move on from abuse. For some it’s cutting all contact, for others it’s seeking justice and accepting the consequences. It can look very different but I wouldn’t say it’s not strong
This is 100% my favorite episode to date. Her resilience and forgiveness is inspiring & I wish her well as she continues to heal. I am a victim of SA and from a Christian family as well, I really relate to her and how the church speaks on sex and relationships can be so skewed sometimes.
I’m so sorry you went through that. I wish you well as you continue on your healing journey as well. Sending you nothing but love, support, and the utmost blessings 💗❤️💗
Yes, religion can me a major factor in abusive households sometimes. My father’s family is Jehovah’s witnesses and his father was an elder at our families Kingdom Hall. My grandfather sexually abuse every child him and my grandmother had except the last one. My dad is the 4th from the last child. Him and his sister under him would run away and refuse to go home when they were in their early teens. That’s how the state got involved. They would tell the other elders in the Kingdom Hall what was happening to them and were told that they were being punished for their sins. My dad has 17 other siblings so my granddad sexually abused 17 out of 18 children. They all suffer from different mental issues because they live through that trama. Their religious organization allowed it to happen as well as their mom. She was also being physically and mentally abused. My dad would tell us stories about how he remembered his dad beating his mom with the buckle end of a belt. Because of his childhood him and my mom has always been very protective of me and my siblings.
My story ties in to the religious aspect of abuse because my dad’s family was well known for being devout Jehovah’s Witness. But the children were constantly being abused in every way possible by their father and their mother allowed it to happen. I’ve never met my dads father because of his history with him. My dad never allowed us to be around that man.
@@ハワルドスタンテシヤ I am so saddened to hear about that!! My heart hurts for all 18 of those children & your father! Blessing to him and your mom for doing their best to protect you! I’ll never understand evil people using religion as an excuse or tactic to hurt others.
It breaks my heart that even after everything she is still defending the adults in her family that did nothing about it, especially her parents and grandmother!!
I hope she has that conversation with her parents soon then later. Her parents failed to protect her and then forced to her to still see a man that was abusing not only physically but sexually. She is a very lovely person for letting it go and still having contact with her parents because I would have left a LONG time ago. At least calling the police would have helped and prevent any further abuse of children to happen but they choose to “not start a problem without the family” pathetic. Don’t have children if you are not ready to protect them at all cost.
The cops not talking to her great grandpa just means that they knew about it and in some cases partook in it as well. I swear ots like cops in horror movies that are in the south. I mean I never trusted police, but that's another thing altogether. I'm a survivor or child SA and regular abuse and adult SA so I'm used to adults never siding with me. I've become jaded. My mom made it very clear that any sexual abuse was the victim's fault and that sexual abuse doesn't happen to kids unless the kids initiate it. So yeah, she never found out about any abuse. Besides she was abusive in other ways. Before anyone adds, she wasn't abused bc she would gladly mention it bc she loves people pitying her. My abuse was from family on my dad's side. And people that weren't related but were friends of the family.
This sounds like SRA. This is ritualistic abuse . This is for ceremony and rituals for worship to some entity that usually a family will worship secretly
I'm thankful that I've never experienced any type of sexual child abuse my whole life. It's crazy how much it happens. I have a child and worry all the time. I hope all the child victims are and will be ok 💙
I always want people to remember you can choose your family, if someone hurts you, they have absolutely no right to be in your life. There will always be people, blood or not, that would never hurt you. Those are the ones who deserve to be family.
She is amazing. I love that she used this trauma to enlighten herself, and in turn assist others. On the other hand, monsters like these need to fall off the planet, this was a great one.
This is infuriating. So many people would betray their own children for the sake of keeping up appearances, especially inside the traditional communities. "What will our neighbors think?" " What will our relatives say?" "Do you really want our family to be shamed and shunned?" Nothing but judgment and pride. For me it was an easy choice, I'd rather be on my own than to belong to such a community, not saying such atrocities happened there too but I couldn't stand the fake double-faced people pretending to be virtuous and decent. I wish this brave survivor strength and happiness. Thank you for sharing your story!
She keeps saying she doesn't know who the other 8 year old girl was but that she lived close enough for her to run home so couldn't they figure it out now/then? That little girl ran home at 4 o clock in the morning after being kidnapped, and watched a man get stabbed and without a shirt on and then what just snuck back into her house and went to bed? Wouldn't she have woke someone up going back into the house? Plus I'm sure she was crying and she was drugged and they just wore off by the time her parents woke up? IDK, She was so young when this happened to her I'm sure this repeatedly happening to her caused some physical trauma to her body but no one cared to investigate? I mean a professional counselor is a mandatory reporter and I'm sure does this for a living didn't they report it to the police!?! She said it wasn't until just a little while ago that she found out the cops never got involved but she is an adult now?? She is an adult and has figured out I'm sure that these things are horribly illegal and messed up and that cops and everyone gets involved and does a rape kit and investigation and none of that happened with her and she never thought that was odd? She never thought hey I wonder why no one came to get a statement from me the victim? I wonder why my grandfather never went to court, trial, or jail????? This wasn't just her parents, and grandparents this was a counselor that just didn't believe her? Doesn't she care about justice not even for her own sake but for that little 8 year old neighbor??? This wasn't just her grandpa either she said it started being other people so there was a whole pedophile sex slave ring! Who knows if there weren't other girls involved! She said she has grown and learned from it and he is dead so there is no point in reporting it but what about the other men and girls involved! They need to be investigated and those men brought to justice and off the streets! They are still out there and are probably still doing it to other girls!?! Those other girls need counseling as well! At this point her parents and that counselor would face some serious consequences for not reporting any of it! I thought there wasn't a statue of limits for things like this because victims are kids when it happen and it might take them years to come to terms with it and report it but it's not just her doesn't she care about justice for that other little girl!?!
God I pray for the people that you get into your claws to counsel for... you're supposed to understand trauma more than anyone and how to navigate that yet you are trying to guilt shame someone into doing something very complex. Even if you're right (I don't agree with you underlying advice)... in your professional opinion... was this the way to do it? Did you honest think this was helpful for any of the surviving they may have been in the comments reading thus?Fucking hell...
Listening to this amazing woman, she is speaking to my soul!!!! I am also a survivor and I STRIVE to be at the place that she is. I wish I could be her client, so much peace love and understanding to every person reading this. 💕✨🌙
I am a therapist and for me there are some big red flags in what she is saying. I don’t think she is as healed or at peace as she portraits and I really hope she gets into some good trauma focused therapy.
because they're so "religious" what crap.I don't know what state she's in,but some states don't have a statute of limitation for sexual abuse. He definitely had done it before, he was using drugs, had other men over and children. Im sure he did it to her mother, No way did he just start it right then.
This woman is so inspiring. She is literally a superhero, like she said. I know she will go so far in life and i hope she gets all that she wants out of her career. She’s going to inspire and help so many.
I'm only 15 minutes in and my stomach is turning. Stories like this and my own experience (no where near the story she's telling) are a huge part of the reasons I am so determined not to have children. The world is such a vile place
There is so much amazing about this woman. She sounds very intelligent and her voice is beautiful. She said everything I wanted to hear (in her acceptance of people fall into dark places while also saying it's negative, her passion for helping those with mental health, etc)
As someone who loves a revenge film, taking out frustrations on those that wrong them, this interview was the complete opposite, and everything I needed to hear and probably my favorite episode so far. That kind of strength and wisdom, I'm not sure how to say to say it but almost angelic, absolutely beautiful and I'm crying at work lol. Thank you to the interviewee for sharing your story
My heart is breaking listening to this. ... Hell Yeah, she stabbed one of those pieces of sh.t! ... Such bullsh.t when the abuser said, "I'll do this to your siblings if you tell on me" he was planning on abusing as many children as he could, no matter what. How tf do people do things like this? 😔
Caller, as soon as you are done with school, PLEASE let us know. I’d love to be your first patient. You’ve helped me so much in just 45 minutes, thank you!! And from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry this happened to you, but so incredibly grateful for the person it made you. Congratulations on your impending graduation too!! 💝
Wow, my heart aches for her. This is why I'm using correct anatomical terms with my 11mo infant. I know it sounds crazy to start now but im not leaving it to chance. These kinds of events are any parent's worst nightmare.
There’s no way this was his first time doing this. I feel for her. I was also violated by a family member but not nearly as bad as this situation. What a strong and brave woman.
You are going to be an amazing therapist! The perspective you have on life is insanely inspiring and something that not every person is capable of. THANK YOU for sharing your story and pursuing your goals of helping others! i hope to emulate your character in my own life.
11:00 Why is the host on the right in the pink shirtt calling the 8yr old girl a woman?! He didn't call the 8yr old in the girl's story a "WOMAN" once .... but 3 times, so it wasn't a mistake. It's weird. Pisses me off. In confession stories of children being sexually abused calling an 8 year old a "woman" is abusive.
My best friend was raised in a family that did eerily similar things. Absolutely unimaginable. And like others have said, other family members were almost definitely aware, but for whatever reason (trauma, etc) they can’t face it. It’s the same with my friend, whose mother’s denial and inability to look honestly at the situation in the home kept those kids trapped in an unsafe situation for years longer than they should have. My heart breaks for this interviewee, I wish her nothing but healing and peace.
Sadly I relate to this story in so many ways. The world is a fucked up place. I wish I could give her a hug & let her know she’s not alone because even though it honestly doesn’t fix anything, sometimes it’s all we need.
There's really no where to go when a family chooses to cover up abuse to protect their image. As a child survivor of physical, mental, emotional abuse & neglect- I STILL have trouble letting family members know what my life was like. Plus my abuser has spread false stories so if I do tell- it will be seen as a sign that I'm mentally unstable. I'm not sure what the solution is except for teachers, family & neighbors to be vigilant & report when they suspect something might be wrong.
I completely understand her when she says she’s more compassionate for others than herself I went through a similar situation and I’ve always wondered why I didn’t do for myself what I felt the need to do when I found out about others and it really makes me Feel better about the situation Thanks for sharing your story
I unfortunately agreed. I've kept secrets from my family because 1: I don't want to think about it out loud because I think about it to myself everyday and 2: I'm scared to death that it will kill my parents. Plus are they really going to believe me??? The family does know about one family member but it didn't change much. I feel her pain.
Love to you. Our instincts as children are often accurate. If they've ignored you once, your brain might be protecting you from secondary trauma. Telling my family was a disaster. But everyone's story is different. Good luck to you. 💜
I was passed around my family like a candy bowl. Oddly enough once my mother found out about my uncle ( which plead guilty and got 6 yrs of probation) then all the " family" secrets came out. We call it the Carter cruss. This has been going on in my family for decades. It stopped with my kids....I kept them away from everyone.
Sadly, I am sure this is a generation curse. But this woman is strong af and will break the cycle and help heal so many other victims. She is incredibly strong and insightful. She is truly a woman to admire. Thank you for sharing your story, you are so brave. I hear you and I believe you. We need more people like you in this world, you have a beautiful soul.
I cant belive that her parents didnt react more, they are fucking awful. They defended a man that raped their child, disgusting. This woman is so strong.
how do you as another family member know that this has happened and still look and accept this monster into the family let alone make this poor girl go to these family events and hug and kiss him. im so glad she has been able to move past this but they have let her down so much and from such a young age her strength and resilience is amazing
She said her having triggers is her fault. No. Having a trigger caused by trauma is not your fault and please if you become a therapist never ever project this onto a victim.
I hope she doesn’t blame religion bc God is very clear on sexual immorality, r@pe, harming children etc. God would never blame a girl for anything like that. I do understand blaming yourself and feeling like you could’ve stopped it somehow which gives you shame but that is a lie ❤
So crazy that if either of my daughters told me anything at all even remotely similar to even a hint of anything like this, there would be death and it doesn’t matter who or how many.
So proud of this young woman, she's truly amazing. But I waited through the entire interview for you to ask or her to say something about previous victims. There's no way she was the first. The the worse offense is her family letting this man take her off alone. I'm so proud that she warned other family members, but seriously someone knew what was up before she finally said something, and they just let it happen.
I hope that at the very least her parents were able to tell her abuser how they really felt about him before he died. Even if they were unwilling to shun him publicly or even within the family, I don't know how they couldn't have hated him for what he did.
Just listened through the episode and she is so inspiring. I am amazed that she has been able to take such a horrible situation and create a life full of so much meaning and purpose. She is absolutely inspiring and I can definitely see myself reflected in the "mirror". Thank you for this 💛
Much love to this person. My family has been through similar, and just like hers, the abuser wasn't shunned by the family. It's absolutely confounding.
Holy s**t! This woman is amazing! I wish her all the best in life! If she ever starts her own podcast, I'd love to hear more mental health gems from her!
One of my childhood bestfriends was assaulted by her father one night says she remembers him and all his friends being drunk and taking turns rapng her when she was approximately 12 years old and has never told anyone in this world besides me. Its so sad that type of evil exists in this world and will fight everyday to be a shining light of good for everyone i encounter
My heart goes out to her. She has a good head on her shoulders. Very wise. Someone i would love to talk to.... about unrelated topics. I understand how this kind of thing happens. There was an incident between neighbors a teen and a young boy and girl. It was handled between the families. I don't know if it happened any more, but it very much affected the abused parties.
A child believing it's their fault and god will be ashamed of them when they are being raped shows precisely how fucked up organised religion is. This woman is so incredibly strong for sharing this and even as a child, stabbing a guy taking action just to help someone else - to be able to do something so pure and caring in such a horrible situation AS A CHILD.... what a caring human being.
Stranger Danger is definitely a thing, but children are most vulnerable around their closest family members and a good 70% of the time its your own family that abuse you.
I can’t imagine the parents not seeking justice for their child. I would be smiling in my mugshot if someone hurt my son.
@@christinat4689 I completely agree with you, I would do the same if my kids were harmed. I don't think it was mentioned and it could be the case that she and her sister were the only ones abused, however, I have a feeling that there was multi-generational abuse. I think the Great grandad has been at this a long time with his own family (her mother and grandmother) and involving others in it. The fact that the Church was teaching that it was on the women to control the males sexual appetites also would feed into alot of shame around this type of situation, purely hypothetical mind, but I just don't see a person suddenly turning into an abuser in his 70's.
@@moondust1992 100% agree. Growing up in a religious school and the church myself, I knew a quite a lot of Christians who mainly cared about how they were perceived by their pastors or fellow Christians. Looking like “a grounded God-fearing family” was what everyone strived to be. I also realized that a lot of them would use their faith in God in justify a lot of shitty beliefs and bigoted thinking. Its really backwards, ironic considering what Jesus actually preached, and just sad.
agreed.
its worse than that, it's the way people see kids in general, as having no autonomy or rights. in some families kids are basically property. parents force their kids to hug and kiss relatives they've never met, then we're surprised that relatives abuse kids?
This girl is so brave. I went through similar things as a 4yr+ with a family member and later down the road not from family. They never had any charges or reports against them and it’s dealing/trying to grow after having those things happen that feels impossible. Specially when family isn’t behind you because it was done by family.
There is no black and white way to handle sexual abuse regardless who the predator is.
I'd love to share my story! I'm an advocate and I was also sex trafficked. I'd love to give girls or boys help when overcoming the trauma.
Please do we need to hear more of this as uncomfortable as it is
@@Deetrim absolutely! We definitely do, so many people need help out there
I am screaming right now!!! F Them!!! F THEM ALL!! IM SO SORRY!! I JUST WANT TO GIVE HER A HUG RIGHT NOW!!
So sad how some parents failed their children.
He was a great grandparent at 70, and she was 6?
So he became a great grandfather at 64, so there was generations of kids all having kids at 16? So sad.
Bet he was the father to a few. It's common in intergenerationally abusive families like this.
If it’s true
Heartbreaking 💔
This is so sad, and this girl desirves so much love and protection from her parents and they just gave them silent... and stell she has so much love for them.. so so sad 😭
I feel like calling the children ‘young women’ completely minimises the fact this was happening to CHILDREN 😔💔
Thank you for saying this, I completely agree.
Absolutely
Absolutely.
I think they did because she used that word. Lots of details in the story.
YES.
We really tolerate alot from irresponsible parents.
This should be pinned. It’s so true.
Irresponsible parents make this matrix go 'round.
Stop the irresponsibility when you become a parent. If you have already, somehow, became a parent stop being or doing what YOU already KNOW is 💯 absolutely WRONG. All children deserve parents, not all parents deserve to have children. Stop it. Do better. Be better.
Our entire world is dependent upon how well YOU are raising your children to become responsible, compassionate, giving, and an asset in their community.
All communities combined equals an even greater amount of individuals who values, morals, and ethics towards work, family, and every aspect that will make the world 🌎 an awesome place to WANT to have and raise children in.
that is a form of abuse in itself. neglecting your child and letting them face the evils in this world all alone.
Well said.
I’m sure this guy also abused women in the generations above her, including his daughter (her grandma). Likely played into the family’s decision to be complicit. Makes me so sad and angry.
100%
very very true. no excuse, but something terribly sad that factored here. evil creature of a human
Agreed. Sexual misconduct is usually a learned behavior. Not excusing the horrible crimes these offenders commit but I’m learning this more and more.
Yup. This kind of abuse does not just involve grooming the current victim, it involves grooming the entire family. As the great grandfather, this grooming was multiple generations deep and most likely involved at least some level of sexual interference with every young girl (and possibly some of the boys) that this pervert had control over/access to.
When the abuse gets normalized in the family, the horror at its revelation is gone. Normal, non-abused people react appropriately with rage and action, but abused people are like the frog boiled slowly in the pot of water - the abuse is already there, but public shame can be avoided - once abuse is normalized, other (unimportant) considerations can take precedence in the family. That's why these things stay in families for multiple generations.
It takes a fighter who is willing to address the abuse directly, like this young woman, in order to end the cycle. She is very strong brave to have done so.
Absolutely 100%
As sad as it is that another generation is affected.... thats what my first thoughts were as well
They all knew about the abuse, they’ve all been abused. There were drugs, other people, other children, and her sister was abused too... the parents not doing anything... THE FATHER! That’s crazy, it wasn’t even the grandfather it was the great grandfather, and it was habitual, I’m sure her grandmother and her children experienced the abuse. Sounds like a system of ritualistic abuse, not just a creepy grandfather...
Exactly. I mean it sounds like this may have even been a business for that man. It was so systemized.
They’ve obviously been doing this for years and generations ... i wonder if these were Amish people
This is why when ppl adopt there is a stipulation that the child has their own bed and often their own room.
Absofuckinglutely
I agree
I know this is personally just me, but I would tell my family every gruesome detail after them reacting the way yours did. They deserve to live with those details since they knew about it, chose to do nothing and not believe me.
If my family had ignored my story and made me deal with my abuser over and over again, I would have read a statement of my abuse at his funeral.
@@megglesmac I agree with any way she chooses to deal with this, but damn READ THAT STATMENT. He doesnt deserve shit even after hes dead.
@@yyg4632 SHE deserves for people to know her truth. She's has to live her whole life thinking about what he did to her. And her parents should know all the details too. They failed her.
This involved intergenerational abuse. Meaning an entire family line of complicity and abuse. If she were to share details, they could possibly rage at her and abuse her more (narcissistic denial is pathologically strong. They could be triggered and remember the details of their own abuses by that grandfather. They suppress those abuses with denial, and fight anyone who reminds them of what they're suppressing. This is how intergenerational abuse works in many families).
Every child has reasons for the choices they ultimately make. And those choices probably saved her life.
@@genevieves8908 she deserves for people to know “the truth” of what happened to her. It’s not like it’s her version and there’s some other version where this didn’t happen. If what she says is the truth, then it’s the truth, not “her truth”.
As a parent, I cannot imagine not absolutely annihilating someone who hurt your child in this way. Or at the very least, getting police involved. Regardless of who it is. This story makes me want to vomit.
SAME SAME SAME.
I absolutely understand your reaction to this horrific situation and my knee-jerk reaction is the same. But victims are often so horribly traumatized by what happened to them as children that they are unable or unwilling to bear to speak about it ... to anyone. I wonder if her mother (and her grandmother, other aunts, cousins, etc.) were also victims of this monster and, because of their trauma, she was unable to act? Sexual abuse can cause many psychological issues as we age. Some can never speak about it, to anyone, even to therapists, doctors, psychiatrists, etc. The shame and fear of being "found out" that was beaten into them by their abusers and their church upbringing is irreparable. Sadly, I know too well. Not that it's in any way right, or even forgiveable for her parents not to act to protect her as a child, but compassion for the mother makes me understand how it might have been difficult or even impossible for her traumatized brain to act.
@@carolmurphy7572 statistically, you’re probably right that he also abused other family members. Which is awful, and also something I cannot imagine or relate to. Horrible situation all around, and I’m glad he’s not around to hurt anyone else.
The fact they didn't tell the police is least surprising to me. They probably didn't want to attract the hate & shame.
For me, it's the fact they wanted her to keep acting like everything's normal. And hug and kiss this guy. Very sick.
The trauma that some of these people involved was likely so great. We know he didn’t start this disgusting practice at the age of 70 when he suddenly had an attraction to a 6 year old great great granddaughter. This is decades of perpetual abuse, shame, hurt, anger, etc… it’s not right but it sounds like there was a room full of abuse victims who were living with trauma. It’s very difficult to understand for people who have never had to live through something like this.
As a survivor myself, I would go to jail for my children if I ever found out anyone came near my children in this way.
I’m sure others have said this but, there’s no way this man hadn’t been doing that to children his whole adult life. Others are in denial about their own abuse so they must’ve been sweeping it under the rug for yrs.
Joe just trying to keep it together the whole time. The woman’s a survivor and her story could help out a lot of women. Thanks for sharing things like this on the podcast.
Why?
@@aaftataafet9734 why what?
@@weezerfan999 nvm wrong comment
Fake
Thanks for posting. I was raped by my grandfather when I was 26. And so embarrassed because of my age I thought I could of stopped it but I just froze up. didn't wanna tell anyone bc I never heard of a grandparent doing something like this. I'm healed from that and stronger... sending my love to all the survivers out there
Sending so much love to you!
Wow…I’m so sorry that happened to you. That is truly sick, please get all the help you need. I’ll pray for your healing.🙏🏼
😢
Seems like You wanted to do it.
Nobody at 26 freezes up like that.
@@Rexorazor freezing is a normal sympathetic nervous response. Plenty of animals play dead when attacked.
I doubt that’s his first time, I wonder if he’s done things to other female members of the family I means he’s been around for 3 generations of kids.
Also I feel like if she feels like she can she should still go to the police, if other men were there this was an organized sex ring and maybe they can link some of those other men back to the great grandfather. I wonder if the church was involved somehow
I can absolutely guarantee you that her mother and, very likely, other female members of her family are also victims of that monster. That level of secrecy and denial in a family is groomed into them from a very young age, by family members' behaviours and by church teachings. I believe she likely went into the field of counselling/therapy in an attempt to heal herself as well as to help others. The fact that she is still unable to confront her parents (and, by extension, other extended family members) about their lack of action speaks volumes. Her mother likely wouldn't/couldn't act on it because of her past traumas and to confront the old man would force her to admit that it also happened to her snd other female family members (including at least one other of her daughters). While the church aspect of the story may not be actual involvement in or covering up of the crimes committed by her great grandfather, it obviously plays a role in that she was taught by that church (as her other family members were) about subservience and obedience. Again, the parents' insistence on keeping up appearances, forcing her to still visit the farm and hug/kiss that monster speaks to the level of brainwashing that the family has undergone. That occurs innocuously over generations and is very much based in the power and control of most religious organizations. She doesn't fully recognize that herself ... yet. Perhaps she never will. It was essier to just wait until the old man died than to bring the trauma to light by confronting him or involving the police in the matter. All the females, through generations, would likely have experienced the same thing and it would be painful to force them to admit that it also happened to them and they were too ashamed or afraid to speak up about their abuse. Easier and less painful to others to just repress it than force others to relive their traumas. "Be a good girl, or something worse will happen" was taught to her by her great grandfather as he beat her, held her head underwater and threatened to abuse her little sister if she spoke to anyone else about it.
No it wasn't. I have friends who went against the grain and left the home at 12/13 to get away from their abusive father, uncle, or grandfather. Often times years down the line, my friends find out the family member did it to their cousins and the older women knew about it. However they rather turn a blind eye. Family don't care about your abuse, they keep pushing the you should forgive the other person mantra. It's toxic.
He abused this whole family. He had to of. He was so brazen to abuse her under a blanket under the nose of everyone in the room. This is decades of abuse. Decades of disgusting pedophilia sex ring sh*t. You don’t at 70 years old all of a sudden get involved w other pedo’s and say “oh hey guys I have a barn and a granddaughter let’s do this!”. This family is living with generational trauma. So so so sad. This man was likely abused himself. He was a victim who turned in to a perpetrator.
HOW CAN YOU REFER TO AN 8 year old child as a “young woman”?!!?!! She was a CHILD! SAY IT!
I truly think it was accidental, since she said woman first on accident bc she is a woman now but a child then.
Just a mix up of description words.
But when the media says young women in headlines when it’s clearly a child that’s where I find my anger is directed. I understand the frustrations. But here I believe it was just an accidental screw up
@@chelseascrazyYes!!! Or "the relationship", when they're talking about child abuse.
From a person that was s*xually abused by my own female cousin I can say that abuse is something that runs in family more than you guys can imagine. We care way too much about a white van outside not knowing that leaving a kid unattended with an adult of your family could be potentially more dangerous.
Me too! And now we just act like nothing ever happened. She’s got a husband and kids now so it feels like it would only cause damage if I were to confront her about it. Now that I am older I wonder if she was being abused by someone else? Life is something else
Same happened to me and my sister from a female cousin. It does happen more than people know. 😢
Factssss
She was likely touched too. How old was she?
Very well put!
It sickens me this man has gotten away with it for so long, he’s definitely been abusing children for a long time and it seems quite organized. Why are none of these men jailed, this is generations of no one speaking out, it’s just so sad. How many men are out there doing this and we have no idea, honestly your family is so much more likely to abuse you than a stranger. Be observant folks
This person has clearly done a TON of personal growth and inner healing, what a wise person to have such a beautiful perspective on life after such a horrific past.
I’m 21 now. When I was around 8-9, my 15 year old cousin would ask to play house with me and make the do things to her and she did things to me. The whole “your experience is valid and real even though others don’t believe you,” made me cry, because we are both females. I’ve only ever told one person in my life because it feels as if no one will take it as serious as if it would’ve been a male cousin. The trauma is still real
Sorry you went through this :(
I’m so sorry
I went through something very similar…
I’m sorry.
Was she also abused by someone else prior to the incidents with yourself?
@@MeHoyMinoy-cv3ps "The buck" has to stop somewhere. All it takes is a person with character and courage.
Why do religious people time and time again take the side of the abuser???
They preach bullshit like "keeping the family together" like fuck that. A family member who does heinous acts, should never be allowed in family functions Never.
because religions are build on systems of abuse.
And don’t forget the saying respect is earned, or you should forgive or you will go to hell bs
This is a generational thing. He mostly likely done this to many children in the family. This is why it goes on for so long and the family didn’t do anything about it.
22:12 she doesn't want to tell her parents about her trauma because of how it will upset THEM, and she doesn't want to deal with grieving the loss of her parents on top of all of it.. shes still covering for her abusers all these years later, taking the emotional burden on for herself. hearing her say shes at the age where you become friends with your parents makes me think she's still in her 20s...when you get a bit older you realize that its not that hard to be a good adult or person and your parents just suck.
shes been through a lot and isn't nearly as healed or moved on as she seems to believe. every new stage of life will bring a new perspective of this experience and the healing will go on for decades
Yup. Lots of bypassing and guilt here. I was like that too. It gets more cleaned up as the years go on.
Is like a kid that is proud to be extremely mature and adult like ...no that's just trauma ...she is letting slide the guilt of everyone like everyone is a Saint ...she is around people that was ok with that ..I personally wouldn't associate with people like that blood or no blood
Agree with the above statement, I think she is avoiding the confrontation with parents over this, and wants them so badly in her life, she is just bypassing them.
Not gunna lie those parents should be held legally responsible. They knew about child abuse and did absolutely nothing. That’s a crime. They should without a doubt do time for this wither the daughter agrees with it or not. Justice and punishment must be served.
YES
Amazes me how many families do such terrible things to innocent children. We live in such a sick world...
It’s really sad. When I pray I give thanks for my parents that have been so good to me, when you get older and hear what other people have to grow up with. I’m just grateful for my loving family for not having any of these issues 😢
She’s a better person than me. I’d tell my parents every single detail about every single time and then I’d fucking never speak to my parents again.
You don't know what you'd do. Abuse like this involves the entire family who raised you, not just the perp. When everyone is complicit, a child often has no choice but to be silent and take responsibility for the abuse. Decades of that does a number on your head. Can physically take away your ability to speak out. Often the best people can do in this situation is go no contact.
I'm gonna be honest, I can't type out what I'm feeling. I just wonder if her mother grew up in a similar situation and that was a part of why they chose that option? It's heartbreaking knowing that this is probably a common way that families deal with things like this. I'm so glad that she seems to have come to some sort of peace but at the same time, listening to this was hard, there was a few times I had to close my eyes and put my head in my hands... I can't, and don't want to imagine this being a reality for a little girl.
Thank you guys... All 3 of you
Xoxo
U have a good heart!
I felt so much anger while listening to this one. I grew up within a religious household too. Her saying the church taught her to feel guilty and responsible for the sexual urges of men is something I heard growing up as well. That's the cornerstone of "modesty culture" and it shames women instead of holding men responsible for their actions. That sort of teaching can go die in a fire. It so destructive and still a sore spot with me. Her saying "Everything being about appearances" also really resonated. That's exactly how my family was. Kudos to her for her strength and willingness to help others who have gone through the same experiences. She's done incredible inner work too, which is amazing.
That triggered me so much too. I'm religious and grew up in a religious background and that kind of heretical bull shit theology angers me so much. I believe in a just God and believe that these religious "teachers" will one day be judged for this.
I share your feelings. I was introduced to the Christian faith in my teenage years and it was good, I needed something like that in my life but then I got familiar with the religious community... the shaming, the cautioning against certain behaviors, actions, thoughts, people. And I don't mean my priest having a conversation with me directly, that was always on point, but then you see random people who are taught not to judge others judging your every move, and spreading rumors about each other. I didn't want to become like that so I had to distance myself from it all. It didn't lessen my faith, just made me more cautious with people.
shame on her family. we need to call this what it is, an incredibly strong woman who has been forced to heal on her own, without support of her family or (it sounds like) professionals. i don’t blame her at all for maintaining a relationship with her parents but i could and would never. those parents are deplorable for not doing ANYTHING to remove her from that man or help her in the aftermath. it seems to me this is glossed over as a coping mechanism. very very understandable but just so sad
the second sentence! very well said!!
It makes me wonder if this great grandpa did it to her mom and they might just see it as a fucked up right of passage.
@@catnipaddict88 oh my goodness it could be, what an awful thought 😩
@@catnipaddict88 damn.. you may be right as unfortunate as that is..
Joes expression is exactly how I feel watching this
“Because this happened to me, I can help others.” Spoken like an awe inspiring amazing human.
As much as I feel the same, having been through it as well - I used to say this to bypass my traumatized feelings. I would use unauthentic gratitude to justify what happened, to make it okay. So you attribute your current strengths to what he did.
The truth is she is inherently strong. She can inherently help others. He couldn't snuff out the bright light within her. It's part of who she is, and not part of what he made her.
@@ashtenchambliss284 well said.
I was raped by my dad from 8-16 on and off and I grew a lot from that. I also gave him a lot of forgiveness. But her story is waaayy more extreme. Especially being drugged and him having another young girl at the barn. Man... For us who go through this as young females and males and are still here living and sharing our stories with strength... Thats AMAZING OF US.
You choose to live and grow and thrive after going through the most heart wrenching betrayal and that is a testament to the sheer power of your spirit. I am so proud of you.
Thats crazy to forgive your father for rape…
@@l-pv5793my exact thoughts.. and I feel like she downplayed her own experience, being raped by the person who helped create you, for 8 years is terrible. Just because she didn’t get drugged doesn’t make it any less worse than this woman on the videos situation.. that type of thing should never be forgiven.
This sounds like ritualized cult abuse.
You can see Joe physically upset and angry as the story went on...it breaks my heart that she went through that.
Exactly. Joe was not feeling this at all
I am a survivor of sexual abuse from within my family. It took a long time to understand it is abuse and even longer to understand that those who stayed silent around it or forced me to be in the environment, are complicit in the abuse. We all have our own journey in healing. But victims do not owe anyone who surrounded their abuse the ability to remain comfortable.
For myself, once I removed all abusers, facilitators of said abuse and deniers out of my life, I blossomed, healed and became more successful than I could have imagined.
This is the story of one strong woman. May she find continued peace and success free from the chains of her past.
This reminds of all the SRA stories . This is ritualistic abuse, no doubt. This is backwoods hidden “Christian”sects who abuse children for satanic worship.
If you read into it, you will see a lot of overlaps in her story in so many other stories. I am sure her mother had endured the same fate by her father . This is systemic ritual abuse.
I don't understand how the other young girl explained her missing shirt to her parents without explaining that a grown man was attempting to sexually assault her and another girl stabbed him so they could get away. I know that abusers do anything they can to isolate you but that girl got away. I was sexually abused by my step brother from the age of 5 until I was 9 and physically abused by his horrible mother also. I even stopped talking completely for almost a whole year. My mom finally got custody of us but it's a long complicated story. The court ordered my step brother to get counseling and his mother wasn't suppose to ever marry another man with young children. But that's exactly what she did and the court never did anything. She had moved to another county though and this all happened between 1987 - 1991. Things were definitely different back then compared to now. My family knew something was going on but I wouldn't say anything about it. My aunt's dog had had a litter of puppies so my aunt put me in her bedroom with the puppies and told me to tell the puppies everything that happened. She recorded it and that's how my family finally found out what was going on. I feel pretty lucky though for 2 reasons: 1. My family was clever and got me and my sister out of that situation and 2. Due to the trauma of everything that happened I don't remember much about it but what I do remember I'll never be able to forget. I wish her the best, it's so horrible her parents failed her so badly.
I worked with a young girl about 14 who was trafficked by the her grandparents after her parents died. I worked with many kids with deep trauma and it’s is sad how it it’s usually family that cause the most harm
Also, this is why I never let any male ever watch my daughter!
Scarily female family members can be just as abusive and your only way to protect your child is to talk openly about their bodies and boundaries and who they can tell etc x
@@jrowme9230 agreed! Luckily I have been fortunate to not have any rush for her so far!
@@snics0619 period. Or anyone you don’t trust your entire worth to. Because it’s your child! I already know at any given point I cannot trust 8/10 in that room.
Honestly, hearing this I think I looked exactly like Joe the more I listened to the episode. She is stronger than me because I’d let God forgive my parents and never speak to them again. I hope that she gets all of the good things in life because she deserves it and more and I’m glad that she has found the closure of being able to move on the way she did.
theres nothing strong about forgiving your abusers. its not weak wither. it just is. yes her parents are complicit, they are abusers as well.
I think it does require strength to forgive, but so does any act you take to move on from abuse. For some it’s cutting all contact, for others it’s seeking justice and accepting the consequences. It can look very different but I wouldn’t say it’s not strong
This is 100% my favorite episode to date. Her resilience and forgiveness is inspiring & I wish her well as she continues to heal. I am a victim of SA and from a Christian family as well, I really relate to her and how the church speaks on sex and relationships can be so skewed sometimes.
I’m so sorry you went through that. I wish you well as you continue on your healing journey as well. Sending you nothing but love, support, and the utmost blessings 💗❤️💗
Yes, religion can me a major factor in abusive households sometimes. My father’s family is Jehovah’s witnesses and his father was an elder at our families Kingdom Hall. My grandfather sexually abuse every child him and my grandmother had except the last one. My dad is the 4th from the last child. Him and his sister under him would run away and refuse to go home when they were in their early teens. That’s how the state got involved. They would tell the other elders in the Kingdom Hall what was happening to them and were told that they were being punished for their sins. My dad has 17 other siblings so my granddad sexually abused 17 out of 18 children. They all suffer from different mental issues because they live through that trama. Their religious organization allowed it to happen as well as their mom. She was also being physically and mentally abused. My dad would tell us stories about how he remembered his dad beating his mom with the buckle end of a belt. Because of his childhood him and my mom has always been very protective of me and my siblings.
My story ties in to the religious aspect of abuse because my dad’s family was well known for being devout Jehovah’s Witness. But the children were constantly being abused in every way possible by their father and their mother allowed it to happen. I’ve never met my dads father because of his history with him. My dad never allowed us to be around that man.
@@ハワルドスタンテシヤ I am so saddened to hear about that!! My heart hurts for all 18 of those children & your father! Blessing to him and your mom for doing their best to protect you! I’ll never understand evil people using religion as an excuse or tactic to hurt others.
@@ハワルドスタンテシヤ Good for your parents, for ending the pattern of abuse of children.
It breaks my heart that even after everything she is still defending the adults in her family that did nothing about it, especially her parents and grandmother!!
I hope she has that conversation with her parents soon then later. Her parents failed to protect her and then forced to her to still see a man that was abusing not only physically but sexually. She is a very lovely person for letting it go and still having contact with her parents because I would have left a LONG time ago. At least calling the police would have helped and prevent any further abuse of children to happen but they choose to “not start a problem without the family” pathetic. Don’t have children if you are not ready to protect them at all cost.
In general, it is never "lovely" to let any and all crimes "go"; that creates a deterrent-free crime zone everywhere.
I hope she knows that she saved multiple people. She should’ve never had too. I’m sure that girl thinks about you and thanks you often.
If my kids ever told me that I'd punch his lights out and never take them their again what discussing parents I'd be mortified so so sorry
No, you dive past the pond to the swamp, and he suffers a long reality check that will be painful but still not make up for what he did..
As a victim of SA, I appreciate this episode so much. She is incredibly brave. This has been the most life-changing episode thus far.
So much love and comfort to you💖✨
@@erkaderka3571 thank you sis ❤ lots of love to you too!
You are just as brave!
The cops not talking to her great grandpa just means that they knew about it and in some cases partook in it as well. I swear ots like cops in horror movies that are in the south. I mean I never trusted police, but that's another thing altogether.
I'm a survivor or child SA and regular abuse and adult SA so I'm used to adults never siding with me. I've become jaded.
My mom made it very clear that any sexual abuse was the victim's fault and that sexual abuse doesn't happen to kids unless the kids initiate it. So yeah, she never found out about any abuse. Besides she was abusive in other ways. Before anyone adds, she wasn't abused bc she would gladly mention it bc she loves people pitying her. My abuse was from family on my dad's side. And people that weren't related but were friends of the family.
I went through a very similar situation from the time I was 11 until I was 17. It’s terrifyingly close to what I dealt with
This sounds like SRA. This is ritualistic abuse . This is for ceremony and rituals for worship to some entity that usually a family will worship secretly
I'm thankful that I've never experienced any type of sexual child abuse my whole life. It's crazy how much it happens. I have a child and worry all the time. I hope all the child victims are and will be ok 💙
I always want people to remember you can choose your family, if someone hurts you, they have absolutely no right to be in your life. There will always be people, blood or not, that would never hurt you. Those are the ones who deserve to be family.
She is amazing. I love that she used this trauma to enlighten herself, and in turn assist others. On the other hand, monsters like these need to fall off the planet, this was a great one.
Incredibly hard to hear. Thrilled she has found such tremendous strength and some sort of peace. Thank you very much for sharing 🙏
This is infuriating. So many people would betray their own children for the sake of keeping up appearances, especially inside the traditional communities.
"What will our neighbors think?" " What will our relatives say?" "Do you really want our family to be shamed and shunned?"
Nothing but judgment and pride. For me it was an easy choice, I'd rather be on my own than to belong to such a community, not saying such atrocities happened there too but I couldn't stand the fake double-faced people pretending to be virtuous and decent.
I wish this brave survivor strength and happiness. Thank you for sharing your story!
She keeps saying she doesn't know who the other 8 year old girl was but that she lived close enough for her to run home so couldn't they figure it out now/then? That little girl ran home at 4 o clock in the morning after being kidnapped, and watched a man get stabbed and without a shirt on and then what just snuck back into her house and went to bed? Wouldn't she have woke someone up going back into the house? Plus I'm sure she was crying and she was drugged and they just wore off by the time her parents woke up?
IDK, She was so young when this happened to her I'm sure this repeatedly happening to her caused some physical trauma to her body but no one cared to investigate? I mean a professional counselor is a mandatory reporter and I'm sure does this for a living didn't they report it to the police!?! She said it wasn't until just a little while ago that she found out the cops never got involved but she is an adult now?? She is an adult and has figured out I'm sure that these things are horribly illegal and messed up and that cops and everyone gets involved and does a rape kit and investigation and none of that happened with her and she never thought that was odd? She never thought hey I wonder why no one came to get a statement from me the victim? I wonder why my grandfather never went to court, trial, or jail????? This wasn't just her parents, and grandparents this was a counselor that just didn't believe her? Doesn't she care about justice not even for her own sake but for that little 8 year old neighbor??? This wasn't just her grandpa either she said it started being other people so there was a whole pedophile sex slave ring! Who knows if there weren't other girls involved! She said she has grown and learned from it and he is dead so there is no point in reporting it but what about the other men and girls involved! They need to be investigated and those men brought to justice and off the streets! They are still out there and are probably still doing it to other girls!?! Those other girls need counseling as well! At this point her parents and that counselor would face some serious consequences for not reporting any of it! I thought there wasn't a statue of limits for things like this because victims are kids when it happen and it might take them years to come to terms with it and report it but it's not just her doesn't she care about justice for that other little girl!?!
Yeh...I agree 100%
Finally someone that doesn’t just have flowers for a brain. I agree there’s so many questions.
God I pray for the people that you get into your claws to counsel for... you're supposed to understand trauma more than anyone and how to navigate that yet you are trying to guilt shame someone into doing something very complex. Even if you're right (I don't agree with you underlying advice)... in your professional opinion... was this the way to do it? Did you honest think this was helpful for any of the surviving they may have been in the comments reading thus?Fucking hell...
Little girls 6 to 8 are high and coming in at 2am? No teacher, parent, doctor reported anything?
Listening to this amazing woman, she is speaking to my soul!!!! I am also a survivor and I STRIVE to be at the place that she is. I wish I could be her client, so much peace love and understanding to every person reading this. 💕✨🌙
I am a therapist and for me there are some big red flags in what she is saying. I don’t think she is as healed or at peace as she portraits and I really hope she gets into some good trauma focused therapy.
Such as?
I hope this therapist never gets to work on anyone.
Terrible parents choosing appearances over their daughter.
because they're so "religious" what crap.I don't know what state she's in,but some states don't have a statute of limitation for sexual abuse. He definitely had done it before, he was using drugs, had other men over and children. Im sure he did it to her mother, No way did he just start it right then.
@@gjh9299 hes dead now but even if he did go to prison, it wouldnt have made it the years he assualted others.
Probably Alabama, Ohio or Arkansas
I say that because her experience with that type of abuse seems to happen a whole lot in those states.
This woman is so inspiring. She is literally a superhero, like she said. I know she will go so far in life and i hope she gets all that she wants out of her career. She’s going to inspire and help so many.
I'm only 15 minutes in and my stomach is turning. Stories like this and my own experience (no where near the story she's telling) are a huge part of the reasons I am so determined not to have children. The world is such a vile place
What a beautiful & courageous person and soul. Truly inspiring. One love 💜
There is so much amazing about this woman. She sounds very intelligent and her voice is beautiful. She said everything I wanted to hear (in her acceptance of people fall into dark places while also saying it's negative, her passion for helping those with mental health, etc)
As someone who loves a revenge film, taking out frustrations on those that wrong them, this interview was the complete opposite, and everything I needed to hear and probably my favorite episode so far. That kind of strength and wisdom, I'm not sure how to say to say it but almost angelic, absolutely beautiful and I'm crying at work lol. Thank you to the interviewee for sharing your story
My heart is breaking listening to this.
...
Hell Yeah, she stabbed one of those pieces of sh.t!
...
Such bullsh.t when the abuser said, "I'll do this to your siblings if you tell on me" he was planning on abusing as many children as he could, no matter what.
How tf do people do things like this? 😔
Caller, as soon as you are done with school, PLEASE let us know. I’d love to be your first patient. You’ve helped me so much in just 45 minutes, thank you!! And from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry this happened to you, but so incredibly grateful for the person it made you. Congratulations on your impending graduation too!! 💝
I think this woman's parents were getting a cut of the money.
“Young women”….. she’s a f 8 year old
Some of the events… like the stabbing part… seems kinda unbelievable
Wow, my heart aches for her. This is why I'm using correct anatomical terms with my 11mo infant. I know it sounds crazy to start now but im not leaving it to chance. These kinds of events are any parent's worst nightmare.
Same. Twin boys, almost 4. Have always used anatomical terms.
There’s no way this was his first time doing this. I feel for her. I was also violated by a family member but not nearly as bad as this situation. What a strong and brave woman.
You are going to be an amazing therapist! The perspective you have on life is insanely inspiring and something that not every person is capable of. THANK YOU for sharing your story and pursuing your goals of helping others! i hope to emulate your character in my own life.
11:00 Why is the host on the right in the pink shirtt calling the 8yr old girl a woman?!
He didn't call the 8yr old in the girl's story a "WOMAN" once .... but 3 times, so it wasn't a mistake.
It's weird.
Pisses me off.
In confession stories of children being sexually abused calling an 8 year old a "woman" is abusive.
My best friend was raised in a family that did eerily similar things. Absolutely unimaginable. And like others have said, other family members were almost definitely aware, but for whatever reason (trauma, etc) they can’t face it. It’s the same with my friend, whose mother’s denial and inability to look honestly at the situation in the home kept those kids trapped in an unsafe situation for years longer than they should have. My heart breaks for this interviewee, I wish her nothing but healing and peace.
Sadly I relate to this story in so many ways. The world is a fucked up place. I wish I could give her a hug & let her know she’s not alone because even though it honestly doesn’t fix anything, sometimes it’s all we need.
There's really no where to go when a family chooses to cover up abuse to protect their image.
As a child survivor of physical, mental, emotional abuse & neglect- I STILL have trouble letting family members know what my life was like.
Plus my abuser has spread false stories so if I do tell- it will be seen as a sign that I'm mentally unstable.
I'm not sure what the solution is except for teachers, family & neighbors to be vigilant & report when they suspect something might be wrong.
I completely understand her when she says she’s more compassionate for others than herself
I went through a similar situation and I’ve always wondered why I didn’t do for myself what I felt the need to do when I found out about others and it really makes me
Feel better about the situation
Thanks for sharing your story
How brave of her to share such a traumatic story. Glad she survived and is still here today, what a strong woman
I unfortunately agreed. I've kept secrets from my family because 1: I don't want to think about it out loud because I think about it to myself everyday and 2: I'm scared to death that it will kill my parents. Plus are they really going to believe me??? The family does know about one family member but it didn't change much. I feel her pain.
Love to you. Our instincts as children are often accurate. If they've ignored you once, your brain might be protecting you from secondary trauma. Telling my family was a disaster. But everyone's story is different. Good luck to you. 💜
@@ashtenchambliss284 Thank you. You too.
I was passed around my family like a candy bowl. Oddly enough once my mother found out about my uncle ( which plead guilty and got 6 yrs of probation) then all the " family" secrets came out. We call it the Carter cruss. This has been going on in my family for decades. It stopped with my kids....I kept them away from everyone.
Sadly, I am sure this is a generation curse. But this woman is strong af and will break the cycle and help heal so many other victims. She is incredibly strong and insightful. She is truly a woman to admire. Thank you for sharing your story, you are so brave. I hear you and I believe you. We need more people like you in this world, you have a beautiful soul.
Even though it stopped with her...I wonder if he kept the sex ring going...how long did that man hurt children
Amazing testimony! I finally realized what each of our missions is here to do! This video was very enlightening! Such a strong woman!!♥️♥️♥️♥️
I cant belive that her parents didnt react more, they are fucking awful. They defended a man that raped their child, disgusting. This woman is so strong.
They are actually letting her talk .. I love this podcasts. They are raw and these 2 men are exceptional listeners and interrogators . Well done 🎉
how do you as another family member know that this has happened and still look and accept this monster into the family let alone make this poor girl go to these family events and hug and kiss him.
im so glad she has been able to move past this but they have let her down so much and from such a young age
her strength and resilience is amazing
She said her having triggers is her fault. No. Having a trigger caused by trauma is not your fault and please if you become a therapist never ever project this onto a victim.
I hope she doesn’t blame religion bc God is very clear on sexual immorality, r@pe, harming children etc. God would never blame a girl for anything like that. I do understand blaming yourself and feeling like you could’ve stopped it somehow which gives you shame but that is a lie ❤
Respect & admiration to this lady. It’s a hard listen but we must NOT turn a blind eye
Holy shit I'm glad I find this pod off Joe's other shit. Fucking heart wrenching. Story that needs to be told
So crazy that if either of my daughters told me anything at all even remotely similar to even a hint of anything like this, there would be death and it doesn’t matter who or how many.
so...you had to be responsible for yuor great grandfaher;s actions but your familiy's feelings. Narcissistic abuse
So proud of this young woman, she's truly amazing. But I waited through the entire interview for you to ask or her to say something about previous victims. There's no way she was the first. The the worse offense is her family letting this man take her off alone. I'm so proud that she warned other family members, but seriously someone knew what was up before she finally said something, and they just let it happen.
I hope that at the very least her parents were able to tell her abuser how they really felt about him before he died. Even if they were unwilling to shun him publicly or even within the family, I don't know how they couldn't have hated him for what he did.
I Am A Newbie to Your Channel! I Must Say, It's a lot but it's all Real..
Just listened through the episode and she is so inspiring. I am amazed that she has been able to take such a horrible situation and create a life full of so much meaning and purpose. She is absolutely inspiring and I can definitely see myself reflected in the "mirror". Thank you for this 💛
Much love to this person. My family has been through similar, and just like hers, the abuser wasn't shunned by the family. It's absolutely confounding.
Holy s**t! This woman is amazing! I wish her all the best in life! If she ever starts her own podcast, I'd love to hear more mental health gems from her!
One of my childhood bestfriends was assaulted by her father one night says she remembers him and all his friends being drunk and taking turns rapng her when she was approximately 12 years old and has never told anyone in this world besides me. Its so sad that type of evil exists in this world and will fight everyday to be a shining light of good for everyone i encounter
My heart goes out to her. She has a good head on her shoulders. Very wise. Someone i would love to talk to.... about unrelated topics. I understand how this kind of thing happens. There was an incident between neighbors a teen and a young boy and girl. It was handled between the families. I don't know if it happened any more, but it very much affected the abused parties.
As a Mother I am MORTIFIED! I'd have killed him with my bare hands! Lord, I hope she gets some closure! Praying for her!
A child believing it's their fault and god will be ashamed of them when they are being raped shows precisely how fucked up organised religion is. This woman is so incredibly strong for sharing this and even as a child, stabbing a guy taking action just to help someone else - to be able to do something so pure and caring in such a horrible situation AS A CHILD.... what a caring human being.