Artie Lange - A Pig on Cocaine - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored
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- Опубликовано: 3 апр 2016
- When Artie Lange first moved to Los Angeles, he had a cocaine habit so bad that he once went to buy drugs while dressed as a particularly strange character.
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Follow Artie Lange on Twitter: / artiequitter
Theme by Run the Jewels. Purchase the LP here: apple.co/1ARsXOf 
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Looking for more This Is Not Happening? Check out comedians’ wildest drug stories here: ruclips.net/p/PLD7nPL1U-R5pl-EsIsmgZTuS0t3Tm6EV8
I’m only watching this so it will disappear from my suggested.
@Mike C koiooopppppppp
Was this The height of his cocaine addiction ?
Why the fuck are most of these videos blocked (the ones about drugs) ? They say 'blocked in your country', and I live in Canada... Can someone please enlighten me !? I DESPISE censorship !!!
The host looks like somebody who always wanted to do stand up but isn't funny so he took this job instead
I could listen to recovered addicts all day. Their brutal honesty with themselves is something to behold.
Lol. He was not recovered at this point. His nose literally caved in from coke use after this.
@@nuttyFOyaye That can still happen after you get sober, though I do not doubt that he was still using at this point.
Artie and Honesty should never collide in the same sentence. The Pig story has been told a million times. The first time he told it on Howard's show it was funny.
@@slb6932 reality stopped that day for him this is why. The industry + drugs will alter perception of time and identity … for yeeears. Reference the cartoon Bolt.
Addicts have navigated so many events. Once recovered they have a lot of stories.
"I'd send 4 grand to my mother because she needed it." A+, man. Not a huge fan of Artie, but lots of respect from me for that.
Bipolarbear 4873 4K per week = 208k per year
Plot twist:. She needed it because that's how much coke she was selling him every week
Two dick too tooo mom fgt analtutuoo
@@edicleyland3773 exACTly
And yet I don’t think he gives a fuck how you feel
You should conduct a survey regarding how many people actual watch the intros versus how many people skip them, I bet the results would be interesting.
FOLLOW UP:
Wow! Thanks everyone for the participation and discourse! 3 years later and as of 5/11/2022 the survey shows that of the 74 respondents, 9 actually watch the intros regularly, that's 12.5%. Interesting results indeed.
I watched one.
I like the intros.
I watch all intros👏🙏 #ImWeirdLikeThat ☺
Always watch
It tells you how many minutes of a video ppl watch
Comedy Central blew it. They should have never cancelled this show.
theguitarczar wait they canceled it?!?
No, it's still on.
Can somebody confirm?
Theres one that was uploaded about 2 weeks ago
@Alcoon Slambag is that what happened? since he still does it on the road i thought he chose to do it that way for convenience. netflix is the place to be for stand up though so id say it was a good decision.
RIP Arties nose.
Zach Lennon what happened to his nose ?
@@alyssarey4598 He ripped it off
Steven Adams like actually, like just tore it off ????
@@alyssarey4598 Nah I think it's just because of all the coke he did
Alyssa Rey he snorted a line of dope that had shards of glass in it that cut his nose and got infected and over time it never healed cuz he kept snorting stuff or picking it etc and it completely collapsed in on itself and looks deflated and odd
SWEET IRONY.
"I break the nose off my face"
They had to reconstruct my nose
Oh fuck LMAOOOOOO even Artie would laugh.
More like sweet destiny.
nd
You know it wasn't all him right? A combo of snorting glass and being punched directly in the nose.
7 and a half months sober today!!!! Fuck yeah that's awesome brother. I'm glad you are here!
This type of humor will go away someday, and that will be very sad. I hope Artie sticks around a long time. We need him
You called it
So far he's out living a lot of his peers.
Some of these guys have a genuine moment when you realize they're holding back some tear's. Love and respect for that.
No that's from the coke
If I was a drug dealer and parked next to a nice restaurant and was met by a 6 foot obese man dressed as a lifeguard pig with 6 teets my only response would have been "I THINK YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH MAN"
@OneSilentGiant you'd be surprised. People tend to get ridiculous if they know they cant get any.
Artie is 5'9
That's why you are not a drug dealer...
@OneSilentGiant if the dealer happened to actually be your real friend it's totally possible
"I'm the only guy to get fat on cocaine"
You've heard of Joey Diaz right?
Joey used to be skinny
@@kanekochera6595 what about john belushi, chris farley?
Imagine believing even one thing that ever came out of Joey Diaz’s mouth.
Tom Arnold
Mike Tyson too
not only is artie doing stand up, he's still alive! amazing.
Soon.......lol
@@northeastslingshot1664 Nope It's 2022, and not only is he still alive, but he's outlived Norm Macdonald, Bob Saget, Louie, Anderson, and Gilbert Gottfried.
@@TheLostWorldFanChann bananas.
Artie Lange is the Keith Richards of Comedy.
@@itsfine9136OMG that's hilarious.. And apparently true lol
Belushi/Hedberg/Cobain: how fast can I ruin it
Artie: hold my straw
michael hammond and Farley
what a hilarious dude. i love how he laughed uncontrollably twice during this story :)
The Tori spelling bee was amazing.
I'm glad to see his Joe Rogan interview, and see him come so far in his recovery. I mean drugs in moderation ain't bad, but I don't think Artie Lange used to do anything in moderation. He seems like he's in a much better headspace now and that makes me happy
Yah, crack in moderation is okay. Just smoke half of the rock.
He always lies about being sober so in all reality we never know.
There’s been times were he says he’s been sober for some time, and you can tell he’s high ASF.
I hope he’s actually sober though. This man needs help.
BRYAN351 stfu
@@anthonychavez2715 if you can do a line of blow and not get hooked and blow all ur money non stop their is no problem with that people can do as they want as long as it’s not affecting anyone else
Between Bobby Lee's stories and Artie's, it sounds like MadTV was a total shitshow behind the scenes :p
Well I mean not to sound sarcastic but did you watch the show
+Sam Walthers (Cyge) you mean the ShitShow? ;)
classic MadTV is about as good as it gets so looks like it worked out
Sounds like it was awesome behind the scenes...I'd love to party with Bobby and Artie .
literal "shit"show lol
So true... I spent more time waiting in the car for the heroin dealer than actually doing heroin
Don't
Ya me too, being a heroin addict means spending half your time waiting to cop a bag
@@marinated_in_cured ain't that the fuckin truth. You'd think that when you have hundreds of dollars for someone they'd be a as little quicker to get to you. But they all have that God complex.amd know you'll fuckin wait. And they'll finally get there and come up with sme bullshit excuse and you put on a fake smile and say oh no I understand it's all good
And always 10 minutes away...
@@petefarmbaker2055 the struggle is real
people will never understand how underrated this is lol this is dave chapelle tier of story telling
I’d love for him and Joey Diaz to have a podcast just telling old war stories
Artie could tell current ones.
Joey was on Artie’s talk show a few years ago and the interview is up here on RUclips
You mean have Artie tell war stories and Joey tell lies?
@@juliusebola9712 Artie is known for stretching the truth a time or five
This is such a good set. There wasn’t one part where I zoned out or felt like looking for something different to watch. Everything he said had my full attention 😊
RIP to the best drug dealer ever. I've never known a dealer who was exactly where he said he'd be every time, and also be there on time.
There's a reason for that
If take all time spent waiting when it all over ...bet wasted 2 years
Jeff Smith lmfao, yup
🤦🏻♂️ rookie buying 20-30 bucks worth a time. You get scraps and the priority goes to the 100 spenders. If there is time and what’s left you get. Save up and get a bigger pack or leave it alone which is your best bet.
@@jeffsmith894 💥I started standup this year.I want ur OPINION.
Am I FUNNY?
ruclips.net/video/k5zO72KOBbIa/видео.html
i love this comedy. its real life. real stories. i know what hes saying is legit. life is crazy
Netflix can come out with how madtv was behind the scenes. Just interviewing old cast members alone would be entertaining
It'd be like GLOW, except with 100x more coke
Man it's crazy the theme music to this show gives me nostalgia. I can't believe this was 5 years ago already.
When he couldn't hold his laughter, I knew it would be good.
6:33 "You sendin the wolf baby thats cool and the gang" LMAO😂
.
Artie. Fucking. LANGE!!! I've Heard This Story Before, But To Have Artie on TINH, must be an Honor!
imagine artie with joey diaz
lol "I didn't know I was at a church social sorry"
Concept Bahahaha
thats such a great line for uptight audiences.. i dont know how many standup shows ive done where you get people that want to fold arms and frown and refuse to have a good time..
Yep, say something that's not so funny and just blame the audience. These vids are usually very funny, this one was actually just kind of sad.
Artie is the best I could hear all his old stories over and again they don't get old he's hilarious
deejay45647 he tells the same story because he's to lazy or unfunny to write new shit
I can just picture an animated version of this story, would be gold 👌
This story never gets old.
Did everyone on mad TV have a drug problem? Fucking hell!!!
+djhero0071 haha, IKR
not the black ones
Lol brings a new perspective watching the show
+Liam Prendergast hello I am Connie Chung. Shits through stockings
That's why it was soooo good!
I love Artie. I wish him blessings and all the best. Thank you for making us laugh all these years.
One of the best storyteller's ever. He reminds me of one of my buddies I grew up with who is just naturally funny.
Love this is not happening, and Ari got amazing comedians on the show.
The intro showing the punchline kills the bit sometimes.
Always
Artie's face looks so much better here than I've seen him look in years. I hope he's still doing well.
Mr. Meatballs. . . . You mean: No Balls.
Whose here in 2019? Lol
@@markbooket6477 damn.....🙂
His septum is destroyed and his nose is totally flat, but he's now lost a bunch of weight and apparently been sober for half a year.
@The Strawberry Pimp
💥I started standup this year.I want ur OPINION.
Am I FUNNY?
ruclips.net/video/k5zO72KOBbIa/видео.html
Artie's clean again for the 11th time. He now has the nose of the old Boxer, Chuck Wepner, the Bayonne Bleeder.
Insanely genuine dude have had the pleasure of being around him a few times out here , we keep In touch fairly often and I honestly am so fuckn proud of this dude dropping bad habits and being clean ! Love ya Artie
Any news on how he is lately man? That's what I'm on here looking for!
I love Artie, please live forever.
+rk3joker HA year right, it's a miracle he is still coherent, not to mention still breathing!
after reading his books I think he is immortal at this point. He has tried his best to destroy himself.
right...like Mitch Hedburg, John Belushi, Kurt Cobain,Chris Cornell ,Scott Wylan ,Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Layne Staley, Shannon Hoon, Richard Pryor, Chris Farley, ect... Don't be an idiot Artie and Richards rare examples of people that survive addictions to hard drugs, the vast majority do not.
Please liver, last forever.
He literally doesn’t even have a nose anymore
I hope this guy recovers... he’s a talented comic, and he’s hit some rough times
For me the funniest parts actually was when he laughed at his own memories before he could tell us he story... 😂
@J C
Thanks for letting me know...I don't even remember what I was talking about here (it says 2 years ago and my grammar was more awful) and I'm too lazy to rewatch something that isn't memorable for me. Sometimes I got fooled by fake things, but I admit that I prefer genuine stuff a million times more.
In the other hand, I've seen many comedians repeating their own memorized jokes/acts in their shows and I still respect them. Writing funny jokes/acts isn't easy...I appreciate them for making me laugh and hanging on through my hardest times (2016-2019). 😄
Here after listening to Rogans podcast.
good job man
Yeah.
His nose is destroyed. Looks so different
Nobody cares why you are here
bro they took that shit off and i'm so pissed
The best! Come back on Rogan, Artie!
That was a rough episode to get through. Usually Artie is fantastic in that format but he seemed to be going through something serious during that episode. I'm hoping he's on You Made It Weird soon, I know he filmed a Pilot with Pete and I would love to see Pete try to interview his polar opposite. Artie is more of a hedonist than his buddy TJ Miller, it would be very interesting.
+Matthew Pleines "He seemed to be going through something" Yeah, like his nose going through a bag of dope.
he's done w life
Keety That wasn't coke. Artie was severely sedated on the Rogan podcast, to the point where he didn't remember he was eating a cheeseburger when he came in. Either he was back on the horse, or abusing his Subutex.
lmfo...ummm you cant really "abuse" subutex...it is not an opiate and actually blocks opiate receptors in your brain...Subutex cannot get you high.
"DON'T MAKE ME BREAK MY FOOT OFF IN YO ASS!"
Oh, Lang, Herman, Scheer, Callen. Those were the days.
Can't help but love Artie
In his defense if I was in a skit that bad I’d be snorting coke every hour too.
He and Joey Diaz would be a great Church of What's Happening Now
Brandon Young I agree with you 100% they would be great together with all of their stories and them with the drugs it'll be hilarious 😀
I pray every night.
And unfunny douchbags
Totally but coco likes to distance himself from people that would one-up his made up stories. I use to be a huge coco fan but I watched enough to know none of his stories matched
Him cracking up was priceless.
If you've seen Artie's nose lately you know this story is the definition of irony.
Joe Frugoli holy shit.... ur right omg
He's been incarcerated because he couldn't kick his drug addiction.
What nose? He has nose?
@@michelevitarelli It is not his fault retards in charge made it illegal to use cocaine.
Holy shit. How fucking sad
Every one and I mean everyone should read Artie's book called "too fat to fish" it made me laugh so much, cry, it was inspiring and had some many interestingly and great life lessons all wrapped in one.
This is what we in the business call "foreshadowing"
Okay this HAS to be the best "this is not happening"! This dude killed it. Like I've seen a lotta these but I can't remember laughing that hard in a long time! Artie you da dude
Great story man… love this dude
This series need to keep going they're hilarious
Artie reminds me of my Dad except my Dad didn’t do drugs... I just wanna give him a hug. Sounds like he is going through a lot.
I'll never get tired of this story
Best one ever. I could listen to artie tell stories forever
What he said about drug dealers never being there on time is so fucking spot on lol.
Take away the audience and laughter: this is a really depressing story.
@Jack MeHoff lol wtf someone doesnt like gays...
@@ScoobyShotU nobody does
Its only funny if youve experienced the desperation of drug use and can relate.
@@stekent3177 so true
@@1100blake everybody does, your parents just failed with you.
Wow. One of the best stories I’ve ever heard
You gotta love a Man who can be so honest about his Failings, and make everybody laugh about it !!
Apparently everyone doesn't remember the man who lived in a van down by the river. Matt foley
Glad Artie is still around. I loved Beer League and he made an excellent hostile Santa in Elf.
I cried cuz knew just what you meant, A. Lange (you missing the man that died in the car accident in No. Cali.). L.A./all Cali was like that. It's that rare breed one is so lucky to have known, that makes the heart grieve longest & strongest. The fact you get that, Is Your Gift.
Best TINH and best Artie ever, just a perfect story. Could not be written.
1:50 I know Coke fingers when I see them lol he ain't lying hahaha
I remember hearing him tell this on the stern show in the early 2000s and I’ll never forget it.
He told it better on there. He was soberish back then
11:20 * Rolls down window * "No one will ever believe you" * drives off * 😂😂😂
Sad but thank you for sharing....keep on fighting off theses demons everyday and be with good people who care for you and who will help you during your times of weakness
If you're a Stern fan you've heard this story 100 times ten years ago.Hes still making money off it lol
+breakv1deos Weird thing though, i watched the entire thing again. For the 101th time. Not sure why
People are too demanding of comedians. When the rolling stones play satisfaction, no one goes 'you've played that one before'. This is a great bit, why wouldn't he reuse it? (: ))
He told it better on Howard Stern I think. I guess after a while you tell the same story you skip over mundane details, etc. Also it seemed like having all those eyes watching you while you tell a really embarrassing story made him a little uneasy.
When will he OD? The answers not soon enough. What story isn't about drugs with artie the junkie lang?
A great story is worth a million dollars and repeating!!
Damn, I'm liking these intros more and more. Well filmed.
This is hands down my favorite of all the This is Not Happenings
That had to be funny seeing him flying down the highway as a pig. Had me rolling. Was fun to watch. Great video
I didn't mind his laughing! That just tells me we had to be there to really get the story! Great one!!
Best hes looked and sounded in years!
@Sully Sullivan definitely
@Sully Sullivan yeah bro I saw his bloody nose mugshot and was like dam.. he needs help from his friends not more jobs on tv
@@vel6110 💥I started standup this year.I want ur OPINION.
Am I FUNNY?
ruclips.net/video/k5zO72KOBbIa/видео.html
@@JeffWarren47 I just subscribed fam!! Very funny! You're definitely got great potential..i can't imagine how nervous I would be in front of strangers trying to make them laugh so I have no criticism..i will follow your journey and wish you nothing but success ..✊✊
@@vel6110 Thanks brother.Appreciate that.Im learning as I go but I have a mission in mind....Stay tuned.
One of the best ever.
Bless ya man.
I got to say the opening skits for this series are very well done.
God I love that intro music
Brendan Haran it's a group called Run The Jewels
creed newton-stephens Darude Sandstorm
If artie and Joey diaz were in the same room the universe would get a contact high and simultaneously explode
Come back and do another show! I'm not sure if it's still in the books for it. But damn! That busted my guts! Omg finally something not clean. Warms my heart to be lucky enough to to hear this one.
I'm not quite sure how I discovered this, but I'm glad that I've found this show
“You know this sir!?” 😂
I feel so fucking old...I didn’t even recognize him from Mad TV until I looked it up and remember that skit crystal clear. He looks like an old man
Arielle Osborne how old r u?
The sopranos edited for TV is a classic. Also Artie Lang when he plays"my white mama" . Lowered expectations was a funny one as well. Classic
@8:34 Artie's genuine knee-slapping laughter,
at this bizaaarrrre XD memory, is a thing to Behold.
Damn artie talks about shitting the bed, as an ad pops up for Miralax and being cranky-pated. Things work out sometimes.
Artie that was awesome!
No one's a better storyteller than Artie Lange.
His story about hard drug dealers being like "my bad I'm in NC instead of NY, can you meet?" is barely even exaggerated
sounds like an awesome drug dealer....I like the brutal honesty
This was a great story, who the hell gave this a thumbs down?
Absolutely hysterical. Artie's the king.
Best story ever told.
He's gonna go back to rehab for testing positive for coke for the 2nd time in 6 weeks.
Damn Artie. Get your help man. ):
1:14 skip intro
His laugh is hilarious! 😂😂
One of the best
I feel like a lot of these kids are too young to know who Ed McMahon or even Tori Spelling is.