And this is EXACTLY why my autistic son has been homeschooled from the very beginning. It’s just what’s best for him and us. He’s safe and well cared for and we get to decide who he spends time with. I will not argue and fight with people to force them to care for my child. If I do that what kind of care is he getting? You can’t force people to care. Nobody cares about your child as much as you do as a parent. Period.
Thanks for sharing. Could you please tell me what program you are using. I have been doing remote learning for my daughter. Now I am so ready to fully homeschool her. My daughter is doing so much better at home.
Exactly. I read about how other parents engage in the “my child deserves the same education as everyone else” fight. It’s exhausting to just imagine. I would use all my energy in learning more about ways to teach my child instead. Nowadays kids no longer just learn sitting in a classroom behind a board the way we did. There are options.
Thank you for this video! I was a public school teacher in California for 10 years. My six year old son has Autism and I would never put him in the public school system. To be honest, most teachers don't even read the IEP. And yes, teachers don't want to deal with disruptive behaviors. Many parents also complain to teachers that their "normal" children are not getting proper instruction because of the "disruptive child." This is my first year homeschooling both of my boys (six and nine). They have been more confident, happier kids that get to learn and explore the world how they see it. As a mom, I feel so much more connected to my kids. As a teacher, I had to reinvent myself and my teaching philosophy. This is a new journey for our family and there are many ups and downs, but we truly believe that this is the right path for us.
OOO I appreciate your honesty so much. We left public school after the first few years, there was obviously neglect and abuse happening. I'm so happy we did! Now it seems extra insane in the public system. It's been clear many times when therapists don't even bother to read the IEP or to listen to our input etc.
I know this is an older video, but i just found this. We have a 4 year old, who is diagnosed as autistic, in a preschool program right now. We are starting to get unhappy with the program. The communication is awful. Like you said early in the video, we wish they could tell us what we could work on at home with him. Either he had a good day or not and that is it when we go to pick him up. Starting to realize that public school might not be the option for my son. Thank you for the video.
“I felt like I spent so much time advocating for her. I could have just been doing it myself.” 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Where we are at to a T. South Florida has great resources on paper but the APPLICATION of those services is just dreadful. They mistreat our children and then look us in the eye and smile and say how great the day went. No thank you. I homeschool and handle all services now. Everything is recorded and anyone working with my children who isn’t ok with that can leave.
It was when my son was in third grade that we realized we had enough. He had a wonderful support team, but the school system was not built for kids like him. I realized he was having meltdowns at school where they constrained him. He would get injured and they wouldn't even tell me anymore. He got zeros on his spelling tests because he wasn't taught properly. I realized I could do school at home for him and he would be happier! He has been since!
All of this is just awful. I spent two months teaching English in a private school that charged a lot for their supposedly more Montessori approach, and I remember how abominably mediocre the school was even for NT kids. But a mom had twins andan older son, all with autism, in there, and I remember seeing the eldest (in 7th grade) being dragged down a hall by his arm and being yelled at because the teacher was angry he thought it was lunch time and just really wanted his lunch early. It was horrible. I was the teacher for the twins. When I started working with them, I learned most of their time was spent sitting at a table in the corner away from the other kids, with no activities or anything. Unfortunately, I had no support and was very limited in what I could do to help in these situations. It's heartbreaking to even remember. I didn't last long there lol
Can you please do a video on the process of getting started in homeschooling, like picking a program? Does her IEP still follow her into homeschooling? I have a daughter on the spectrum and am looking into homeschooling for middle school
Your story is very similar to our story with our older son. He's not autistic, but he is neurodivergent and was speech delayed (DLD diagnosis). He also had an IEP that wasn't followed - at all. In 3rd grade other moms began to tell me things that their children in his class were telling them and it made my hair stand on end. Like your daughter, he was traumatized in her class (and we're in Europe, so you have the same teacher 1st - 4th grade). We tried unsuccessfully to move him to another class between 1st and 2nd grade, which may have made matters worse. When he began 3rd grade, we began homeschooling our younger son who is HFA, and our older son expressed an interest so we pulled him out of school during Christmas break.....and that's when he began to talk. I learned things I wish I didn't have to know. He is now in 7th grade and is still telling me stuff I didn't know. It breaks my heart that there are teachers like this. And to be clear, I am not against public school and I know there are good teachers out there who work hard and love their kids. I was a daycare teacher for many, many years and I loved the kids in my class with all my heart. So I know there are kind and loving and gracious teachers out there. Sadly, it's the ones like my son's and your daughter's who leave a black mark on their profession. We're in our 4th year of homeschooling and my kids are doing fabulously. Our older son will be reentering public school for high school. He is confident, hard-working, and incredibly smart. He'll do well this time!
Listening to this video was a surreal experience. I felt like someone was describing my exact life and my exact daughter. I wish I had known this family at the time so I wouldn't have felt so shunned by the world. I was so tired of feeling like people were dreading my child's presence or not happy to see us coming. No parent or child should feel that way. Thank you so much for posting this. It was very therapeutic to hear someone that went through all the same things. We still have a hard time homeschooling since my daughter is an only child and desires so much to have close friends. Since she is autistic, her social approach is different and kids that are old enough to notice that seem to shy away from her no matter what good intention she has. It seems we are still trying to carve out the ideal situation for her.
Our stories are eerily similar! Please share how you’re able to learn and implement therapeutic practices while academically schooling, or do you allow her to learn through regular life? Omg subscribing
What a Journey! I've said it before but I'm going to say it again! You're a wonderful mom! Olivia will thank you one day, for all the hard work you put in for education and for your caring heart 💗
I can relate a billion percent! My son's level 3 ASD and it's hard! Nobody wants to deal with him. I am starting to research on how I can make homeschooling work for him. You are my inspiration
This video was so helpful and informative. My son is 10 years old with autism and we are currently battling the school system in Virginia for services. It's getting old and expensive because we hired an advocate. Now that my husband is shore duty (navy) we were thinking of homeschooling both of our sons because both have autism. I wasn't sure if I could handle it or where to start. The whole "yearly assessments" thing was also an area of concern so we will see what happens. Also, I'm glad that you all have found a great fit for your daughter and that things are working out for the better!
Thank you, Tanisha! It's so tough to go up against the school system. I'm glad to hear that you hired an advocate. What is the advocate's plan of action and what services are you trying to obtain? Homeschooling is wonderful and we were surprised by how seamless the transition was. It's a lot easier and less daunting than it seems. I'll be thinking of you guys!
It’s unbelievable! You just told my story. I just took took the decision to homeschool and I am researching how to make it happen. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Oh wow, i am so glad i found this video. My son has autism and his last year was his first year of kindergarten and it was a nightmare. He was crying everyday and the comments i got from the teachers were absolutely terrible. I will be doing homeschool from this point on and avoid the trauma and abuse from teachers that think they know better than everyone.
I'm so happy to hear you will homeschool and I'm sad that kindergarten was so traumatic for him. I know how hard that can be on you as a mom as well. It sounds like you are making the right decision for your family. I would search for homeschool groups in your area for support and activities and I'm sure he will love it!
Thank you for this video! I’m currently in the process of figuring out my next move for my daughter who is about to turn 3, and who coincidentally, is also named Olivia. 😊 My first ARD meeting was today and I didn’t get a good feeling about it (and I had an advocate present). I could just sense that this path would waste more of my time than what it would be worth. Like you said, I immediately felt this program wouldn’t be “up to my standards” but I figured I’d give it chance just to see what opportunities were available. Right afterwards I thought, “ok, looks like I’m going to be a homeschool Mom”. How hard could it be?… I guess we will see. Lol. But I believe in myself, I’m educated, and I adore my child and I know I have the patience and determination to help my daughter more than anyone else. It is a shame that the system set up to help our special needs kids is so flawed. I wish educators were paid more.
Your story is so very similar to ours. Thank you for sharing we are new to homeschooling this year after exhausting the public school options. Would love to see any update videos you might consider posting :-) Find myself a little overwhelmed even with the homeschool planner haha.. but do not for one second regret taking our son out of public school.
Thanks Dr Chelsea I'm a retired Home Health Aide (Certified by the State of NY) I got training with dementia, brain anoxia, and Strokes then with my son. I was told in my face from a therapist that my job wasn't the same I told them I didn't need them and they should be ashamed of themself because they needed us to expose their parents to their peers. I told the school system of Virginia and New York that they needed us just as much as I needed them. I educated myself. I thank the good Lord each and everyday for my training. Everything thing you talk about I went through but I stud my grounds. Thanks for your support my son is 28 years old he does all his ADL'S, I work with his Sensory issues. Some parents didn't have the exposer like and that was a big PLUS. Thanks 😊 again.
Helpful video. Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m considering homeschooling my four and a half year old too. I would greatly appreciate you also sharing the difficult parts of homeschooling as well? Do you have any preventative strategies from getting burnt out as a carer, parent and teacher as it’s 24/7? Thank you so very much! ❤❤❤❤
Wow! What a journey… All I can say, is Olivia is so lucky to have such loving and caring parents. 💕 How annoying that that library teacher had the nerve to say what she did. 🙈 It’s very unfortunate that society won’t put more qualified people in these positions and pay them more, when they play such an important role in children’s lives. So glad that you guys found a way to give Olivia the proper education, support, and attention that she deserves. 👏👍
Ayana Posadas Thank you!!! We are so grateful to be able to homeschool. It was a tough few years in public and private school and we are so much happier to get to be with her every day. :)
Thank you for sharing your story, my story is very similar and after another unsuccessful year, we have finally decided to home school and supplement with speech therapy and ABA. We just got tired of seeing no progress being made and with the increase of children with disabilities, the class size for her contained class went from 4 to 20, there is was no way she could be taught in that environment. It was a scary decision to make, but ultimately we feel this is the best thing to make sure we do everything we can to help our daughter.
Right, my kid is 11 nd she always say i dont wana go to school its boring etc . But i send her everyday for her better future , in 2022 i start my job as a subsitute teacher ,i worked in many schools in diff diff special need classes ,nd i feel like y i ws sending my precious kid in schools its my regret. Its not ab teachers they r good but every kids hav diff diff behaviors nd i feel like behaviors r cantageous. And by dealing with diff diff kids r really hard teachers r human too they get mentally nd physically tierd too, at tat point baby sitting mode start. But this year i didn't enroll her only OT nd speech tharpy enough for her nd mother r the best teachers. Mothers knows thier kids best .
Thank you for your post. You have put into words what I've been through over the past years almost to the exact point. Homeschooling both boys now and I'm hoping we're heading in the right direction. 😉 Thank you
I am a single parent and my son has ASD. He was in public school for most of his school life. It took 3 years to get him a proper IEP and we had to pick him up from school for his OT and BT weekly but he was still stressed out and had issues with "escaping" and biting. But then last year with remote learning we could see how he was being taught. My son who was in fourth grade was being taught fourth grade work then his special needs teacher was teaching him first grade work and he was beyond frustrated. I me he was being taught square root and subtract at the same time and he was so confused. Their solution was to assign him a scribe and a calculator. My son loves to learn I mean he loves it it has always been his fun time to look up science facts and history. So this year I changed my job structure around and am just keeping him home in the first month he had mastered most of the work his SN teacher had been working on with him for the last 2 years in bits and pieces and we did online assessments and he was solidly at a level 3 and so far being able to work at his own level and one level he is thriving so much. No more biting. Less crying days. Less overwhelmed days well last year was better to just being home but he's really learning now and so happy
If you ever need anything, feel free to let me know! I'm on Instagram (drchelseahansen) and if you want to message me I'm glad to help with anything you need. I know it can be a challenging journey.
Something powerful lead me to watch your video. I’m struggling with similar issues at school with my daughter. The public school system can be great for neurotypical kids, but has overall limited resources, experience and worst of all knowledge about autism. My daughter feels anxious most days to go to school, l felt I’m not experienced enough to use the right tools to teach her with her condition. So, my thinking was at school they have the tools and the experience plus the social interaction with other kids…”Great” Not the case. I don’t get any constructive feedback from her teachers unless I ask. I literally feel the teachers don’t care and my daughter is just an annoyance to them. Other kids have made mean comments to her and snap at her and the teachers are unaware. It’s very discouraging. I’m hoping next year in 1st grade she’ll get a better teacher, but with your video I feel encouraged to learn more about homeschool and actually implement it sooner than I planned.
OMG....let me first command you for being involved and advocating for your child. Some schools take advantage of parents being busy and not so much involved and does poorly in drafting the IEP to meet the child need or execute the contract gracefully. This video was a narration of my own experience as well with my eldest son (6 years old now). The only difference to your story is the place where all these events took place ( south Florida vs Virginia). I learned all along the process that homeschooling is the ultimate IEP for my son so my husband and I made the decision to homeschool for the upcoming academic year. The recent distance learning model has certainly helped boost our confidence in catering to our child academic need. Beyond the academic, the social inclusion is the only piece of the puzzle that I’m still working through. How do you build a social network for a child with behavior issues and how to achieve inclusion while homeschooling? Any tips/ advice from other parents is appreciated. Thank you
Well, you can take her to art classes or group activities outside home. Sports are a great way to build good relationships and important for their development, clubs, music classes, nature walks, go to public places like Wallmart and parks where she can watch and learn what she is suposed to do. You can find on Amazon specific material to develop social skills. Scripts are very helpful. Playing with dolls also because you can simulate conversations that kids of her age have. And also I would recomend, if possible, try to see what is trending at her age - books, movies, games, trips... So that she can have something to talk about with them that they often enjoy. Also... Having pets is a great help. I bought 2 dogs. My daughter didn't care at all about them. But then I also adopted 2 cats and it was completely different. She loves them and it is something that she can talk about with other kids. It is also good to teach them to have some responsabilities at home, for instance, giving them their food. She will be more popular among the pets also. Sorry for this huge message. 😬
I'm so sorry that you have gone through this. To be honest, socializing went MUCH better when we left school! I found that the homeschooling community was much more loving and inclusive so while she never had a single friend in school she found a few wonderful friends in homeschool groups that we are so lucky to know. I would definitely check out your homeschool groups on Facebook and I think you'll be surprised how well that goes after you try a few. For us finding a few kids from the larger groups worked better because my daughter was too overwhelmed in the bigger social outings.
The school my daughter is currently in is ok with accepting a tenured teacher to replace her current teacher when she was put on leave for hitting a special needs child. Everything in this video has been spot on with what we deal with too and have now decided to home school our daughter. We will have outside therapies to fill in the gaps instead. It’s ridiculous, the school system is all about the money. The teachers can advocate for the needs but their hands are tied on what the school is willing to do. **CAN you suggest curriculums that you have used that have worked for Olivia?
I know this is an old video and I have to say this: being around "neurotypical peers" doesn't make you more "neurotypical" it just helps you learn how to mask and "fake it".... then when you're an adult you get to spend years in therapy treating all the anxiety, depression, and PTSD from masking in school your whole childhood. Research says it "works".... yes, it works for the wrong reasons.
You are so right, Kara. I should clarify - what I mean is that we like for Olivia to have a diverse group of children to learn from in all ways. I do not believe in "self contained" classes and we have experienced trauma from that because the children who are in these classes are totally segregated from their peers (despite the fact that this is against the law), not invited to school events, and not included in general. We actually were not included in kindergarten graduation - none of the "self contained" classes were. She will never graduate from kindergarten again and I'm still furious this happened to her. The parents of children in self contained classes were not even notified about it or I would have made sure she was there. On top of being excluded from so much, she was actually forced to mask even in the self contained class. We now know that a pre-k teacher yelled at Olivia for shaking, which is her stim. We didn't know about it at the time as she didn't have the communication to tell us but she tells us in great detail now. No one will EVER treat my daughter that way again. I believe in an inclusive education, where children on the spectrum and neurotypical children can learn from each other and no one is left out. I also mentioned in the video that NT kids can learn a lot from neurodiverse kids. Olivia has taught me more than anyone else ever has and she doesn't mask with me in the slightest. I would never want her to. :) Needless to say, the school system just isn't for us. We were never able to find anyone to meet our standards, which are admittedly high, and she is really flourishing learning at home. The pressure to mask is off and she can be herself, learning how she prefers to learn.
Here in Brazil the law doesn't allow us to homeschool our children. But they must be in a normal class, they cannot be segregated and if you believe it will help her at school, and also for safety reasons, you can ask for a professional to be with her. And you cannot be charged for that. It is really hard to have such professionals in public school, but in private ones it is possible. But I really have a hard time with that too, because you will always hear that everything is just "fine". But it is not.
I'm so sorry to hear that! That's good that a professional will help, though it is frustrating when we parents get the "they did fine!" report. Sending you love and support - I know it is so, so difficult when the schools don't provide what they should.
It's really sad how if a child with special needs is at school and they get treated inappropriately by the teacher, it's hard for them to come home and tell the parents as they have difficulties with speech and understanding. Children with special needs need one to one help, better if done by parents at home.
That's so true. There was so much she couldn't share back then and it breaks my heart that children experience this type of trauma and shame when they are supposed to be supported and encouraged. We're very grateful we can homeschool.
I use a mix of different things but for the hands on activities I often find great stuff on Teachers Pay Teachers. For language arts and math we do The Good and The Beautiful now but we have done All About Reading and RightStart Math as well. I hope this helps!
Hi, my name is Angel and I am also a mom of a 4 year 9 month old son on the spectrum. My son right now his language skill is in the echolilia and delayed echolilia stage, I am so concerned about how his language skill will be in the future, is he going to be able to have a real conversation with me? I am so impressed by your daughter’s language skill now, so please advise me how to help my son accomplish the best results of his language and do as good as your daughter. Thank you
How! Dr. Hansen! I am so happy to find someone in Florida! My experience was very similar to yours. Thanks for sharing. I have been keeping my daughter home since the beginning of the pandemic (remote learning). After noticing how she was treated even online, I now want her to be homeschooled. Also, she is so much happier at home, she is now making sentences, hugging, kissing, laughing, playing with her siblings. I registered her to an online program since the first week of June, I submitted her IEP and all the required documents it's only last Thursday that I was told that they don't have a program for her. Please tell me what program you are using. My daughter is going to 3rd grade. Thanks
Your daughter is so lucky to have such a dedicated mom!! We have tried so many things but we really like The Good and The Beautiful, Handwriting Without Tears, and a lot of materials from Teachers Pay Teachers. :)
I loved your video I have a 4 year old child who was just diagnosed with autism level 1 and 2. I am currently homeschooling him. He has behavioral issues which I am not sure if he will go good in public school your video help me a lot. I live in South Florida I was wondering if you could recommend any programs where my son could socialize. I am a single mom and working full time your video help me thank you.
Hi Nancy! There are a lot of great resources in South Florida. I highly recommend checking out the homeschool groups on Facebook for South Florida because there are events basically every single day. What we did was attend a few of the larger groups and then we were fortunate enough to find a few friends from there so we could do smaller outings as Olivia was just too overwhelmed by the huge homeschool group meetups. I hope this helps and your son is very lucky to have such an awesome mom! :)
My husband and I decided to homeschool our child before we tried to get pregnant, but it seems now that he might be on the spectrum. (As per the SLP) I had started him with the My Father's House preschool curriculum and it just isn't working for him- at all. (He loves the surprise box and refuses to do any of the other things) Do you have a suggestion for a three year old homeschool curriculum that would be suited for a child on the spectrum? I understand that each child is different and that his learning will be dynamic, but I'm not sure where to start. Thank you for your video.
My son just turned 5 and I am also looking for curriculum to get started with homeschooling & have no clue. Please let me know if you found something that's worth recommending. Thank you!
Great video! I have 2 daughters who have autism. I have been homeschooling them as well and it’s been great because now I have the opportunity to work with them one on one and they have been thriving in their academics. How do you navigate other services such as speech and OT?
I'm so glad you are homeschooling! We went through our insurance for speech and OT but did pay out of pocket for years as our insurance would not cover it (or would not cover it to the extent she needed it), which was really hard. I have another video on my channel about when to fire your child's therapist that kind of goes through what my expectations are of anyone working with children and that gives some insight about what to do regarding speech and OT.
I'm going through this right now with my 5 year old. Except we haven't been to various schools. I'm not happy at all. I'd like to know just what type of curriculum you are using. How did you find the home school groups etc.? He has behavioral issues and a speech delay and other staff. I really need to know which way to go. By the way, I'm his grandmother, and have had him from infancy and have adopted. Any advice on home schooling and other would be appreciated. Thanks
Hi, Jane! We have tried a lot of curriculum options but the one that is the best fit for our family is called The Good and the Beautiful and we use that for language arts, math, history and science. Every state has different homeschooling laws but I found most of our homeschool group activities on Facebook by searching the name of my town and "homeschool group" - I hope this is helpful!
@@drchelseahansen Hi! More videos on encouraging independence for kids on the spectrum. I am still having a hard time dealing with autism diagnosis. Guess just worried about their future. I feel intimidated during these IEP meetings. Constantly being reminded of what they can't do. Sorry if message was long I sometimes feel very alone.
@@simplydee2567 I know what you mean. I'll put those on my list and if you ever want to talk, feel free to message me on Instagram at drchelseahansen because you're NOT alone. ❤️I know the feeling and it can all be so overwhelming but I'm here if you ever want to talk.
I totally agree that other states have a better way of handling this, and in California for example all therapy is more or less free (with a totally different approach) so we did consider moving at one time. We love homeschooling though, and now (since this video is a few years old) our daughter actually goes to a surf school a few days a week to supplement what we do at home. We love it!
You need to take bullying in consideration. You can move to a better state with more services and your child can be bullied in mainstream classes. Kids are cruel, and they pick on anyone who they perceive is just a little bit different. This can lead to depression, suicidal thoughts and other issues down the road. Our son who most likely has ADHD was bullied in 1st grade in a Montessori Charter school. He was coming home miserable. If you care about your child, homeschool is the way to go. We did so much reasearch and found out IEPs and 504 are a waste of time, in most cases. We tried, public, charter, private catholic. None worked. Kids with any kind of differences are perceived as a burden. The catholic school teacher just did not want him in her class. We never had a teacher that really cared. And they probably couldn't, considering the large class sizes. We are now taking the money spent on the private school and use it for great activities, sports, field trips etc. Hindsight, this is the probably the best decision we made for our kids. Glad we found this video. Sad to hear so many similar experiences.
And this is EXACTLY why my autistic son has been homeschooled from the very beginning. It’s just what’s best for him and us. He’s safe and well cared for and we get to decide who he spends time with. I will not argue and fight with people to force them to care for my child. If I do that what kind of care is he getting? You can’t force people to care. Nobody cares about your child as much as you do as a parent. Period.
That's so true. We wish educators had the passion and the patience for it and while some are wonderful, others are not. :(
Thanks for sharing. Could you please tell me what program you are using. I have been doing remote learning for my daughter. Now I am so ready to fully homeschool her. My daughter is doing so much better at home.
Exactly. I read about how other parents engage in the “my child deserves the same education as everyone else” fight. It’s exhausting to just imagine. I would use all my energy in learning more about ways to teach my child instead. Nowadays kids no longer just learn sitting in a classroom behind a board the way we did. There are options.
Thank you for this video! I was a public school teacher in California for 10 years. My six year old son has Autism and I would never put him in the public school system. To be honest, most teachers don't even read the IEP. And yes, teachers don't want to deal with disruptive behaviors. Many parents also complain to teachers that their "normal" children are not getting proper instruction because of the "disruptive child."
This is my first year homeschooling both of my boys (six and nine). They have been more confident, happier kids that get to learn and explore the world how they see it. As a mom, I feel so much more connected to my kids. As a teacher, I had to reinvent myself and my teaching philosophy. This is a new journey for our family and there are many ups and downs, but we truly believe that this is the right path for us.
I'm so glad that you are able to homeschool and your son is very lucky to have such a dedicated, knowledgable mom!
OOO I appreciate your honesty so much. We left public school after the first few years, there was obviously neglect and abuse happening. I'm so happy we did! Now it seems extra insane in the public system. It's been clear many times when therapists don't even bother to read the IEP or to listen to our input etc.
I know this is an older video, but i just found this. We have a 4 year old, who is diagnosed as autistic, in a preschool program right now. We are starting to get unhappy with the program. The communication is awful. Like you said early in the video, we wish they could tell us what we could work on at home with him. Either he had a good day or not and that is it when we go to pick him up. Starting to realize that public school might not be the option for my son. Thank you for the video.
“I felt like I spent so much time advocating for her. I could have just been doing it myself.” 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Where we are at to a T. South Florida has great resources on paper but the APPLICATION of those services is just dreadful. They mistreat our children and then look us in the eye and smile and say how great the day went. No thank you. I homeschool and handle all services now. Everything is recorded and anyone working with my children who isn’t ok with that can leave.
Thank you.
Same thing, we did the early intervention program, dealing with the disappointment of the school district, trying to figure out homeschooling now.
It was when my son was in third grade that we realized we had enough. He had a wonderful support team, but the school system was not built for kids like him. I realized he was having meltdowns at school where they constrained him. He would get injured and they wouldn't even tell me anymore. He got zeros on his spelling tests because he wasn't taught properly. I realized I could do school at home for him and he would be happier! He has been since!
All of this is just awful. I spent two months teaching English in a private school that charged a lot for their supposedly more Montessori approach, and I remember how abominably mediocre the school was even for NT kids. But a mom had twins andan older son, all with autism, in there, and I remember seeing the eldest (in 7th grade) being dragged down a hall by his arm and being yelled at because the teacher was angry he thought it was lunch time and just really wanted his lunch early. It was horrible.
I was the teacher for the twins. When I started working with them, I learned most of their time was spent sitting at a table in the corner away from the other kids, with no activities or anything. Unfortunately, I had no support and was very limited in what I could do to help in these situations. It's heartbreaking to even remember. I didn't last long there lol
Very similar experience once my son got older in the public school system. He’s been homeschooled for many years now and is flourishing.
Can you please do a video on the process of getting started in homeschooling, like picking a program? Does her IEP still follow her into homeschooling? I have a daughter on the spectrum and am looking into homeschooling for middle school
Depends on the state. In our state, the IEP services stop when you homeschool. So check your states guidelines etc
Your story is very similar to our story with our older son. He's not autistic, but he is neurodivergent and was speech delayed (DLD diagnosis). He also had an IEP that wasn't followed - at all. In 3rd grade other moms began to tell me things that their children in his class were telling them and it made my hair stand on end. Like your daughter, he was traumatized in her class (and we're in Europe, so you have the same teacher 1st - 4th grade). We tried unsuccessfully to move him to another class between 1st and 2nd grade, which may have made matters worse. When he began 3rd grade, we began homeschooling our younger son who is HFA, and our older son expressed an interest so we pulled him out of school during Christmas break.....and that's when he began to talk. I learned things I wish I didn't have to know. He is now in 7th grade and is still telling me stuff I didn't know. It breaks my heart that there are teachers like this. And to be clear, I am not against public school and I know there are good teachers out there who work hard and love their kids. I was a daycare teacher for many, many years and I loved the kids in my class with all my heart. So I know there are kind and loving and gracious teachers out there. Sadly, it's the ones like my son's and your daughter's who leave a black mark on their profession. We're in our 4th year of homeschooling and my kids are doing fabulously. Our older son will be reentering public school for high school. He is confident, hard-working, and incredibly smart. He'll do well this time!
Listening to this video was a surreal experience. I felt like someone was describing my exact life and my exact daughter. I wish I had known this family at the time so I wouldn't have felt so shunned by the world. I was so tired of feeling like people were dreading my child's presence or not happy to see us coming. No parent or child should feel that way. Thank you so much for posting this. It was very therapeutic to hear someone that went through all the same things. We still have a hard time homeschooling since my daughter is an only child and desires so much to have close friends. Since she is autistic, her social approach is different and kids that are old enough to notice that seem to shy away from her no matter what good intention she has. It seems we are still trying to carve out the ideal situation for her.
Dido.....at this point, I plan to build a community for my child and hope to find more awesome parents who understand us, who are also homeschooling.
Our stories are eerily similar! Please share how you’re able to learn and implement therapeutic practices while academically schooling, or do you allow her to learn through regular life? Omg subscribing
What a Journey! I've said it before but I'm going to say it again! You're a wonderful mom! Olivia will thank you one day, for all the hard work you put in for education and for your caring heart 💗
Thank you so much! I appreciate you, Jamie!!
I can relate a billion percent! My son's level 3 ASD and it's hard! Nobody wants to deal with him. I am starting to research on how I can make homeschooling work for him. You are my inspiration
Oh my goodness, you are telling our Story!
I'm so sorry you went through the same thing, Nicsa!
i would love to see a video of how you manage homeschool day to day
aswell as the portfolio you use for your daughter
This video was so helpful and informative. My son is 10 years old with autism and we are currently battling the school system in Virginia for services. It's getting old and expensive because we hired an advocate. Now that my husband is shore duty (navy) we were thinking of homeschooling both of our sons because both have autism. I wasn't sure if I could handle it or where to start. The whole "yearly assessments" thing was also an area of concern so we will see what happens. Also, I'm glad that you all have found a great fit for your daughter and that things are working out for the better!
Thank you, Tanisha! It's so tough to go up against the school system. I'm glad to hear that you hired an advocate. What is the advocate's plan of action and what services are you trying to obtain? Homeschooling is wonderful and we were surprised by how seamless the transition was. It's a lot easier and less daunting than it seems. I'll be thinking of you guys!
@@drchelseahansen Thank you so much!
It’s unbelievable! You just told my story. I just took took the decision to homeschool and I am researching how to make it happen.
Thank you for sharing your experience.
Oh wow, i am so glad i found this video. My son has autism and his last year was his first year of kindergarten and it was a nightmare. He was crying everyday and the comments i got from the teachers were absolutely terrible. I will be doing homeschool from this point on and avoid the trauma and abuse from teachers that think they know better than everyone.
I'm so happy to hear you will homeschool and I'm sad that kindergarten was so traumatic for him. I know how hard that can be on you as a mom as well. It sounds like you are making the right decision for your family. I would search for homeschool groups in your area for support and activities and I'm sure he will love it!
Thank you for this video! I’m currently in the process of figuring out my next move for my daughter who is about to turn 3, and who coincidentally, is also named Olivia. 😊 My first ARD meeting was today and I didn’t get a good feeling about it (and I had an advocate present). I could just sense that this path would waste more of my time than what it would be worth. Like you said, I immediately felt this program wouldn’t be “up to my standards” but I figured I’d give it chance just to see what opportunities were available. Right afterwards I thought, “ok, looks like I’m going to be a homeschool Mom”. How hard could it be?… I guess we will see. Lol. But I believe in myself, I’m educated, and I adore my child and I know I have the patience and determination to help my daughter more than anyone else. It is a shame that the system set up to help our special needs kids is so flawed. I wish educators were paid more.
Your story is so very similar to ours. Thank you for sharing we are new to homeschooling this year after exhausting the public school options. Would love to see any update videos you might consider posting :-) Find myself a little overwhelmed even with the homeschool planner haha.. but do not for one second regret taking our son out of public school.
Thanks Dr Chelsea I'm a retired Home Health Aide (Certified by the State of NY) I got training with dementia, brain anoxia, and Strokes then with my son. I was told in my face from a therapist that my job wasn't the same I told them I didn't need them and they should be ashamed of themself because they needed us to expose their parents to their peers. I told the school system of Virginia and New York that they needed us just as much as I needed them. I educated myself. I thank the good Lord each and everyday for my training. Everything thing you talk about I went through but I stud my grounds. Thanks for your support my son is 28 years old he does all his ADL'S, I work with his Sensory issues. Some parents didn't have the exposer like and that was a big PLUS. Thanks 😊 again.
Helpful video. Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m considering homeschooling my four and a half year old too. I would greatly appreciate you also sharing the difficult parts of homeschooling as well? Do you have any preventative strategies from getting burnt out as a carer, parent and teacher as it’s 24/7? Thank you so very much! ❤❤❤❤
Wow! What a journey… All I can say, is Olivia is so lucky to have such loving and caring parents. 💕
How annoying that that library teacher had the nerve to say what she did. 🙈 It’s very unfortunate that society won’t put more qualified people in these positions and pay them more, when they play such an important role in children’s lives.
So glad that you guys found a way to give Olivia the proper education, support, and attention that she deserves. 👏👍
Ayana Posadas Thank you!!! We are so grateful to be able to homeschool. It was a tough few years in public and private school and we are so much happier to get to be with her every day. :)
Thank you for sharing your story, my story is very similar and after another unsuccessful year, we have finally decided to home school and supplement with speech therapy and ABA. We just got tired of seeing no progress being made and with the increase of children with disabilities, the class size for her contained class went from 4 to 20, there is was no way she could be taught in that environment. It was a scary decision to make, but ultimately we feel this is the best thing to make sure we do everything we can to help our daughter.
Wow so glad I found your channel! I see myself in you so much.
Thank you, Annie!!
Me too. It is terrible.
Right, my kid is 11 nd she always say i dont wana go to school its boring etc . But i send her everyday for her better future , in 2022 i start my job as a subsitute teacher ,i worked in many schools in diff diff special need classes ,nd i feel like y i ws sending my precious kid in schools its my regret. Its not ab teachers they r good but every kids hav diff diff behaviors nd i feel like behaviors r cantageous. And by dealing with diff diff kids r really hard teachers r human too they get mentally nd physically tierd too, at tat point baby sitting mode start. But this year i didn't enroll her only OT nd speech tharpy enough for her nd mother r the best teachers. Mothers knows thier kids best .
Thank you for your post. You have put into words what I've been through over the past years almost to the exact point. Homeschooling both boys now and I'm hoping we're heading in the right direction. 😉 Thank you
You're doing an amazing job!! Homeschooling is not easy but it is very rewarding.
Your video reaffirmed the importance of homeschooling my son. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences.
Thank you so much for sharing!
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I almost felt you describing my family's journey of constant struggles with Public School System.
Of course! It really is hard because no one cares about our kids as much as we do.
I am a single parent and my son has ASD. He was in public school for most of his school life. It took 3 years to get him a proper IEP and we had to pick him up from school for his OT and BT weekly but he was still stressed out and had issues with "escaping" and biting. But then last year with remote learning we could see how he was being taught. My son who was in fourth grade was being taught fourth grade work then his special needs teacher was teaching him first grade work and he was beyond frustrated. I me he was being taught square root and subtract at the same time and he was so confused. Their solution was to assign him a scribe and a calculator. My son loves to learn I mean he loves it it has always been his fun time to look up science facts and history. So this year I changed my job structure around and am just keeping him home in the first month he had mastered most of the work his SN teacher had been working on with him for the last 2 years in bits and pieces and we did online assessments and he was solidly at a level 3 and so far being able to work at his own level and one level he is thriving so much. No more biting. Less crying days. Less overwhelmed days well last year was better to just being home but he's really learning now and so happy
I'm so happy to hear he is doing well! You are an awesome, dedicated parent. I know it is such a challenging journey and you're doing great.
Parents are lucky to even get that pamphlet cause often you have to beg the public schools to assess them.
I was homeschooled for awhile as a child too.
My journey has been very similar to yours and we just started homeschooling our son on the spectrum.
If you ever need anything, feel free to let me know! I'm on Instagram (drchelseahansen) and if you want to message me I'm glad to help with anything you need. I know it can be a challenging journey.
I'm going through this right now. This is her last year but I'm not letting her go to middle school nope homeschooling
I'm so sorry you are experiencing this, Marie. I'm sure she will do great with homeschooling and it has been such a gift to our family.
Something powerful lead me to watch your video. I’m struggling with similar issues at school with my daughter. The public school system can be great for neurotypical kids, but has overall limited resources, experience and worst of all knowledge about autism. My daughter feels anxious most days to go to school, l felt I’m not experienced enough to use the right tools to teach her with her condition. So, my thinking was at school they have the tools and the experience plus the social interaction with other kids…”Great” Not the case. I don’t get any constructive feedback from her teachers unless I ask. I literally feel the teachers don’t care and my daughter is just an annoyance to them. Other kids have made mean comments to her and snap at her and the teachers are unaware. It’s very discouraging. I’m hoping next year in 1st grade she’ll get a better teacher, but with your video I feel encouraged to learn more about homeschool and actually implement it sooner than I planned.
I'm so sorry to hear you and your daughter have gone through this, Maya. I hope you were able to start homeschooling and I know how hard that can be!
OMG....let me first command you for being involved and advocating for your child. Some schools take advantage of parents being busy and not so much involved and does poorly in drafting the IEP to meet the child need or execute the contract gracefully.
This video was a narration of my own experience as well with my eldest son (6 years old now). The only difference to your story is the place where all these events took place ( south Florida vs Virginia). I learned all along the process that homeschooling is the ultimate IEP for my son so my husband and I made the decision to homeschool for the upcoming academic year. The recent distance learning model has certainly helped boost our confidence in catering to our child academic need.
Beyond the academic, the social inclusion is the only piece of the puzzle that I’m still working through. How do you build a social network for a child with behavior issues and how to achieve inclusion while homeschooling? Any tips/ advice from other parents is appreciated. Thank you
Well, you can take her to art classes or group activities outside home. Sports are a great way to build good relationships and important for their development, clubs, music classes, nature walks, go to public places like Wallmart and parks where she can watch and learn what she is suposed to do. You can find on Amazon specific material to develop social skills. Scripts are very helpful. Playing with dolls also because you can simulate conversations that kids of her age have. And also I would recomend, if possible, try to see what is trending at her age - books, movies, games, trips... So that she can have something to talk about with them that they often enjoy. Also... Having pets is a great help. I bought 2 dogs. My daughter didn't care at all about them. But then I also adopted 2 cats and it was completely different. She loves them and it is something that she can talk about with other kids. It is also good to teach them to have some responsabilities at home, for instance, giving them their food. She will be more popular among the pets also. Sorry for this huge message. 😬
Socialization has been my #1 concern about homeschooling. Thank you for sharing your tips!!
I'm so sorry that you have gone through this. To be honest, socializing went MUCH better when we left school! I found that the homeschooling community was much more loving and inclusive so while she never had a single friend in school she found a few wonderful friends in homeschool groups that we are so lucky to know. I would definitely check out your homeschool groups on Facebook and I think you'll be surprised how well that goes after you try a few. For us finding a few kids from the larger groups worked better because my daughter was too overwhelmed in the bigger social outings.
You are the best mother
The school my daughter is currently in is ok with accepting a tenured teacher to replace her current teacher when she was put on leave for hitting a special needs child. Everything in this video has been spot on with what we deal with too and have now decided to home school our daughter. We will have outside therapies to fill in the gaps instead. It’s ridiculous, the school system is all about the money. The teachers can advocate for the needs but their hands are tied on what the school is willing to do. **CAN you suggest curriculums that you have used that have worked for Olivia?
I know this is an old video and I have to say this: being around "neurotypical peers" doesn't make you more "neurotypical" it just helps you learn how to mask and "fake it".... then when you're an adult you get to spend years in therapy treating all the anxiety, depression, and PTSD from masking in school your whole childhood. Research says it "works".... yes, it works for the wrong reasons.
You are so right, Kara. I should clarify - what I mean is that we like for Olivia to have a diverse group of children to learn from in all ways. I do not believe in "self contained" classes and we have experienced trauma from that because the children who are in these classes are totally segregated from their peers (despite the fact that this is against the law), not invited to school events, and not included in general. We actually were not included in kindergarten graduation - none of the "self contained" classes were. She will never graduate from kindergarten again and I'm still furious this happened to her. The parents of children in self contained classes were not even notified about it or I would have made sure she was there. On top of being excluded from so much, she was actually forced to mask even in the self contained class. We now know that a pre-k teacher yelled at Olivia for shaking, which is her stim. We didn't know about it at the time as she didn't have the communication to tell us but she tells us in great detail now. No one will EVER treat my daughter that way again.
I believe in an inclusive education, where children on the spectrum and neurotypical children can learn from each other and no one is left out. I also mentioned in the video that NT kids can learn a lot from neurodiverse kids. Olivia has taught me more than anyone else ever has and she doesn't mask with me in the slightest. I would never want her to. :) Needless to say, the school system just isn't for us. We were never able to find anyone to meet our standards, which are admittedly high, and she is really flourishing learning at home. The pressure to mask is off and she can be herself, learning how she prefers to learn.
But time w/neurotypical peers teaches social skills (I’m autistic myself)
Here in Brazil the law doesn't allow us to homeschool our children. But they must be in a normal class, they cannot be segregated and if you believe it will help her at school, and also for safety reasons, you can ask for a professional to be with her. And you cannot be charged for that. It is really hard to have such professionals in public school, but in private ones it is possible. But I really have a hard time with that too, because you will always hear that everything is just "fine". But it is not.
I'm so sorry to hear that! That's good that a professional will help, though it is frustrating when we parents get the "they did fine!" report. Sending you love and support - I know it is so, so difficult when the schools don't provide what they should.
It’s a blessing to be married ❤
The reality is the world thinks our kids are a burden. Homeschool is the way ❤
It's really sad how if a child with special needs is at school and they get treated inappropriately by the teacher, it's hard for them to come home and tell the parents as they have difficulties with speech and understanding. Children with special needs need one to one help, better if done by parents at home.
That's so true. There was so much she couldn't share back then and it breaks my heart that children experience this type of trauma and shame when they are supposed to be supported and encouraged. We're very grateful we can homeschool.
What curriculum do you use for your. Daughter?. I just came to your channel and I see that you do a lot of hands on activities!. Thank you in advance
I use a mix of different things but for the hands on activities I often find great stuff on Teachers Pay Teachers. For language arts and math we do The Good and The Beautiful now but we have done All About Reading and RightStart Math as well. I hope this helps!
Hi, my name is Angel and I am also a mom of a 4 year 9 month old son on the spectrum. My son right now his language skill is in the echolilia and delayed echolilia stage, I am so concerned about how his language skill will be in the future, is he going to be able to have a real conversation with me? I am so impressed by your daughter’s language skill now, so please advise me how to help my son accomplish the best results of his language and do as good as your daughter. Thank you
How! Dr. Hansen! I am so happy to find someone in Florida! My experience was very similar to yours. Thanks for sharing. I have been keeping my daughter home since the beginning of the pandemic (remote learning). After noticing how she was treated even online, I now want her to be homeschooled. Also, she is so much happier at home, she is now making sentences, hugging, kissing, laughing, playing with her siblings. I registered her to an online program since the first week of June, I submitted her IEP and all the required documents it's only last Thursday that I was told that they don't have a program for her. Please tell me what program you are using. My daughter is going to 3rd grade. Thanks
Your daughter is so lucky to have such a dedicated mom!! We have tried so many things but we really like The Good and The Beautiful, Handwriting Without Tears, and a lot of materials from Teachers Pay Teachers. :)
What are the steps that you took to begin the homeschool process here in florida
I loved your video I have a 4 year old child who was just diagnosed with autism level 1 and 2. I am currently homeschooling him. He has behavioral issues which I am not sure if he will go good in public school your video help me a lot. I live in South Florida I was wondering if you could recommend any programs where my son could socialize. I am a single mom and working full time your video help me thank you.
Hi Nancy! There are a lot of great resources in South Florida. I highly recommend checking out the homeschool groups on Facebook for South Florida because there are events basically every single day. What we did was attend a few of the larger groups and then we were fortunate enough to find a few friends from there so we could do smaller outings as Olivia was just too overwhelmed by the huge homeschool group meetups. I hope this helps and your son is very lucky to have such an awesome mom! :)
My husband and I decided to homeschool our child before we tried to get pregnant, but it seems now that he might be on the spectrum. (As per the SLP) I had started him with the My Father's House preschool curriculum and it just isn't working for him- at all. (He loves the surprise box and refuses to do any of the other things) Do you have a suggestion for a three year old homeschool curriculum that would be suited for a child on the spectrum? I understand that each child is different and that his learning will be dynamic, but I'm not sure where to start. Thank you for your video.
My son just turned 5 and I am also looking for curriculum to get started with homeschooling & have no clue. Please let me know if you found something that's worth recommending. Thank you!
@@tybeck03 Gemiini + Sonrise
We use Singapore Math for math, highly recommend it
Great video! I have 2 daughters who have autism. I have been homeschooling them as well and it’s been great because now I have the opportunity to work with them one on one and they have been thriving in their academics. How do you navigate other services such as speech and OT?
I'm so glad you are homeschooling! We went through our insurance for speech and OT but did pay out of pocket for years as our insurance would not cover it (or would not cover it to the extent she needed it), which was really hard.
I have another video on my channel about when to fire your child's therapist that kind of goes through what my expectations are of anyone working with children and that gives some insight about what to do regarding speech and OT.
May the good lord bless you I have a question ?
I'm going through this right now with my 5 year old. Except we haven't been to various schools. I'm not happy at all. I'd like to know just what type of curriculum you are using. How did you find the home school groups etc.? He has behavioral issues and a speech delay and other staff. I really need to know which way to go. By the way, I'm his grandmother, and have had him from infancy and have adopted. Any advice on home schooling and other would be appreciated. Thanks
Hi, Jane! We have tried a lot of curriculum options but the one that is the best fit for our family is called The Good and the Beautiful and we use that for language arts, math, history and science. Every state has different homeschooling laws but I found most of our homeschool group activities on Facebook by searching the name of my town and "homeschool group" - I hope this is helpful!
@@drchelseahansen thank you!
Please make more videos.
So kind of you to say and I will! What topics would be helpful to you?
@@drchelseahansen Hi! More videos on encouraging independence for kids on the spectrum. I am still having a hard time dealing with autism diagnosis. Guess just worried about their future. I feel intimidated during these IEP meetings. Constantly being reminded of what they can't do. Sorry if message was long I sometimes feel very alone.
@@simplydee2567 I know what you mean. I'll put those on my list and if you ever want to talk, feel free to message me on Instagram at drchelseahansen because you're NOT alone. ❤️I know the feeling and it can all be so overwhelming but I'm here if you ever want to talk.
In Michigan schools your daughter would probably be fully integrated into regular classrooms with a one on one para pro if needed. Move!
I totally agree that other states have a better way of handling this, and in California for example all therapy is more or less free (with a totally different approach) so we did consider moving at one time. We love homeschooling though, and now (since this video is a few years old) our daughter actually goes to a surf school a few days a week to supplement what we do at home. We love it!
You need to take bullying in consideration. You can move to a better state with more services and your child can be bullied in mainstream classes. Kids are cruel, and they pick on anyone who they perceive is just a little bit different. This can lead to depression, suicidal thoughts and other issues down the road. Our son who most likely has ADHD was bullied in 1st grade in a Montessori Charter school. He was coming home miserable. If you care about your child, homeschool is the way to go. We did so much reasearch and found out IEPs and 504 are a waste of time, in most cases. We tried, public, charter, private catholic. None worked. Kids with any kind of differences are perceived as a burden. The catholic school teacher just did not want him in her class. We never had a teacher that really cared. And they probably couldn't, considering the large class sizes. We are now taking the money spent on the private school and use it for great activities, sports, field trips etc. Hindsight, this is the probably the best decision we made for our kids. Glad we found this video. Sad to hear so many similar experiences.
The Florida education system is an absolute joke. I'm amazed you kept trying all those places. Should have known better. Florida services are trash.
We don't know what we don't know, and trying services we initially thought would help was part of our journey.