#7a 1 heir not the executor (being out of state cross-country) is a favorite, knows it, is a know-it-all superior narcissist, and is very greedy, having hidden real life strapped situation from parents et al for decades including huge government legal debt for business tax fraud. Again, never reveals any of these things to anyone over decades, some of which can be found on line just searching name.
My father passed away in March 2021 and I am the executrix. It has been so difficult to please my brothers and sister!! Your Points are right on!! I've tried to be neutral but, greed is the biggest problem. Thank you for all your help!!
I'm amazed that brothers and sisters are so greedy when it comes to their own parent's money. It's ridiculous. My siblings aren't like that at all, thankfully. We all get along well.
My Brother's would not stay one night a week My Big brother lift mom on the porch I told him I b there 45 minutes she out side on Xmas Day 2weeks suing her Estate.!!! ????
You aren't there to please your siblings. You are there to follow your father's wishes. Don't expect to make any friends. Just do your job. If they don't like it. Too bad.
Good gravy & biscuits this video just about sums up my family 🤪 Ok 👌 question: The Executor ( also beneficiary ) is claiming the decease left quite a sum of debt behind. I am highly doubtful & extremely suspicious 😒 of this due to knowing the deceased financial methods. The Executor has POA & I feel this is the Executors debt made using the deceased accounts. If the creditors do not waive the debts & are wanting the estate to pay 💰 as a beneficiary do I have the right to request statements of the bills?
my mom had something written in that if there was any fighting, that person would be left out. But my older brother was executor & did some sneaky things to make extra dough + said he'd pay himself well for handling. No accountability on his part.
I have lawyer. Sent Notice to freeze assets to the brother. Brother assaulted my father, sister accusing them of "leaking" information to me. His wife (an accountant) hides money in her maiden name. Brother went ballistic. Told my lawyer. I think my lawyer's scared.
#6 would be great if all parties involved are on the same page, are also sane and reasonable. When a person with extreme narcissistic behaviors and other psychological disorders has been put in the position of executor by way of manipulation and abuse, there is now a huge problem. To engage them through legal proceedings can be a perpetual nightmare that will bankrupt you emotionally, mentally and financially. It's a very difficult decision to go ahead with pursuing justice for the sake of 'doing what is right', ensuring proper distribution of wealth involved if the cost is going to be just too great in those other areas. What to do.....?
Yes, I align with your comment too. in may case our half brother got executors onside. i have been through the whole of the system from regulatory bodies, probate court to police. Despite finding multiple acts of fraud and perjury too - nothing is done. The solicitor has connections!!! You will not win through the legal courts, i do not trust them. I pursued because we were gaslighted and accused of being bitter and resentful by the solicitor, just for asking questions. i wanted to know what really happened as everything was hidden, particularly the truth. I now have found a lot out, their criminality is bare for me to see. Their gaslighting and vilifying of me, a smokescreen to justify their crimes. I needed to do that and know that because there is a twist inside you when you are being told YOU are wrong but it doesn't feel right. It can eat you up. The light of truth is important. People need to learn, en-masse the difference between law and legal. They are not the same. There is so little integrity in the world with people who work with the establishment, it has been corrupted to the core. We need to stand up and call it out. Thats how i see it.
@@gwyneth7812 I can relate to your story as well. During an appointment with 'the lawyer' I was gaslit as well after bringing forth concerns of coercion and exclusivity in someone holding a POA. Once I heard that, I then decided that I/we would be up against a seemingly difficult (if not impossible) task of returning to where things were set up equally among a few family members. At that point I decided not to pursue things any further.
Take your and their feelings off the table. This is business. Their true colors really come out when it comes to $. Don't they. And That's all they ever cared about anyways.
@@gwyneth7812 Yes. They'll crucify your soul and your character to get their hands on what was never theirs. I saw this with my mother's family and another family. Horrible things aren't they. I'm going to write a short story about the little monsters I experienced. 100% selfish and greedy
If a house is to go to both siblings but the one sibling is to truly get it and the other sibling gets half value of house, who pays taxes and is estate paying house taxes or sibling getting house pays them himself? Does that include items in house and landscaping, how exact does one get to true value of house? Thanks! I have learned so much.
zillow is a good start. Then call the bank and ask for a list of real estate appraisers for area. Then pay them 400 to 600 dollars to go out and appraise house. Will get back a typewritten report.
5/3/21.....I know 1 family where the parents had ALL the children meet @ their "family home" @ the same time. THEN starting with the oldest child, each child was allowed to pick 1 item that they wanted. THAT item was put on a permanent list with the child's name who chose it + a "sticker" with the child's name was put on the back/bottom/inside of that 1 item. THEN the 2nd oldest child was given 1st choise of selecting & rotating with the (previous) oldest child being last to choose an item.... AND it went in rotation until ALL the kids had been able to pick 1 item @ a time. THAT way everybody got to choose favorite/meaningful items & "share" it all. ALSO 💰 value of these items supposedly were pretty equal when the FINAL TALLY was done. Plus THIS LIST was put with the wills of both parents.
Im Glad I only have one sibling and she just wants me to take care of it all. And agreed that our widowed sister Inlaw should be in the financial situation as a family member.
Mom and Dad lived 2000 miles away from all of us. After Dad passed away and Mom had dementia I sold the house with all the contents in the house. I just took the pictures. And left every there. 5 months in her home. They had a chance to come and get whatever they wanted. No one came to get anything.
My sister is the executor and she has been living in estate for free and using estate money for estate bills. While under probate the the last 2 years. Is that fair.
You should see what happens when a native American, millionaire, with a 33 page will And a 12 page business plan suddenly dies! Clearly stating the will go by new York state laws, not native terms. 11 years it will be in this month 2021, now even the judge overseeing this has a lawyer.
My 2 brothers and I have zero relationship and they have absolutely refused to help with my mother since my step father passed away. Now as we deal with setting these in place, I know that they will absolutely battle me once the dust settles. It's just seems impossible.
they will show up with hand out and want share when dies. So be sure that are charging parents 15 to 20 per hour for her care from you. IF not enough money have her sign house over to you or sell house and pay you. Caregivers get the shaft. They are usually sick, tired, back hurt, knees hurt. Have quit job and so have used all money had when started care giving. The medicaid charges 7,000 to 12,000 per month. Be sure to make mother pay all her expenses and utilities, do not use your money. The heirs will not care that you gave up it all for years. They will want an equal share. So be sure to have your parents pay you for your time and energy. IF it take up all the inheritance so be it. Medicaid would have taken it to care for the parents as they would have gone into the nursing home. You would have been free to lead your life instead of giving it up.
Your mother “sells” you everything (on paper) before she passes. Simple. Done. Nothing left to fight over if it’s in your name for more than 12 months. The court considers that “seasoned”. You have to pay all utilities, and they need to be in your name, (but your parent can gift you up to $18k per year tax free to cover them if needed).
My late husband had a clause in his will that anybody who contested his will would get nothing. His will also had a clause that specified that no one would receive anything from his estate until it was lawfully theirs. He had two daughters who could never agree on anything.
You also seem to be forgetting something. One of the heirs is a criminal and has stolen from the estate and committed financial elder abuse before the person died. I'm dealing with this. Estate crime is not uncommon. The way you fix that is with a happy slapper especially if local PD refused to get involved.
@@triciaselman9215 It's a term from the Stephen King novel Mr. Mercedes of an impact weapon. Bill Hodges would carry an argyle tube sock loaded with ball bearings. It was very well described by well by famous RUclipsr FPSRussia (Kyle) in PKA here; ( ruclips.net/video/tF3AHkpqO5g/видео.html ). The prison equivalent is called a lock in a sock. The late Charles Bronson in Deathwish equivalent are rolls of coins in a sock ( ruclips.net/video/jGBwHQwCci0/видео.html ). I'm also being facetious in my original comment. I'm notorious for my inappropriate curmudgeon gallows humor. I'm letting my attorney handle the matter in a probate conversion suit.
Bayou assume that heirs Want to get Lo g. Communication is NOT the issue.. It is trust. You said,”Get all the participantsTogether. “Who is going to get the participants together? Who is going to facilitate an honest and frank discussion?
Sadly my sibling and I have been estranged and none of my efforts to reconcile have worked. My siblings partner has been a bully both to me, and to that partners own siblings and mother. It’s been horrible. My father has passed, and my elderly mother had both my sibling and I as co-executors. My mother recently decided to change this and make a lawyer the executor, which I thought was quite wise. But this week my Mother is looking at the legal costs of this and has decided to make my CGA niece the Executor as she has the skills. ( daughter of my estranged sibling) I am quite worried about this and wonder if I have grounds for concern. I brought this up with my Mother and suggested that she leave it with the lawyer. But she has refused. She seems to think I am worried about what I will receive, but that is not the issue,my biggest concern is avoiding conflict. Although my sibling’s partner is not technically involved, this person does get involve and has a lot of influence over the daughter ( soon to be executor) Do I have reasons to be concerned? I sense I will be right out of the loop.
I am not an attorney. Get your mom to use Transfer of death paper work for those accounts which can do this. Retirement plans, and insurance based products have this built into it. Just have her make sure they are the way she would like it to go. I do not know what state you live in however if there is real estate she owns check with an elder law lawyer what would, be best for control while your mom is alive and least difficulty transferring it to the heirs once she dies. Attorneys can do much to help with final cost. Good planning with good representation can save an estate much more than you might think possible. The attorney hosting this channel I have yet to run into anything he has stated which I disagreed with. Whatever plans your mom chooses to make she needs to give you all instructions so you can understand why she did things the way she did. Maybe have her keep this letter with her estate docs. My dad did this and we settled his estate within a short time ~ 6 months as we had real estate we chose to sell. We had a special needs sister which required a special needs trust. We had another sister quickly become a special needs case while my parents passed away. It took some attorney work but saved huge sums of future costs. Each family is different, each state is different, so good estate planning attorneys do great service for their clients and very often save far more than their cost for the family prior to and after mom and dad die.
My sister has stars in her eyes about flipping the house she has no money to invest. None of us do. She wants to use estate money. There’s not enough and it’s not allowed without permission from commissioner. I’m administrator but have no power over the real estate side. She won’t sign at a price that the house would actually sell. Foundation roof windows doors plumbing problems. House is going to sit and rot more. We’re all going to lose the estate because she can’t comprehend why we can’t invest to flip. She’s stepping over dollars to make an imaginary gain that is impossible right now. She’s a new realtor. The awe I’m in over the disconnect in reality is unreal. 😂 I’m done with my family.
My sister has stars in her eyes about flipping the house she has no money to invest. None of us do. She wants to use estate money. There’s not enough and it’s not allowed without permission from commissioner. I’m administrator but have no power over the real estate side. She won’t sign at a price that the house would actually sell. Foundation roof windows doors plumbing problems. House is going to sit and rot more. We’re all going to lose the estate because she can’t comprehend why we can’t invest to flip. She’s stepping over dollars to make an imaginary gain that is impossible right now. She’s a new realtor. The awe I’m in over the disconnect in reality is unreal. 😂 I’m done with my family.
Another source of potential conflict: the estate contains hard assets and some are not to liquidated. Legatees accept these assets as partial liquidation of their shares. The valuation estimates can become a source of disagreement. Numerous appraisals serve to waste estate funds. Also, manner of handling a debt of one of the legatees to the decedent.
My elderly parents required nursing home care prior to their deaths, which allowed the can of worms to be opened and their reactions caused much trouble before Mother and Father passed away. By the time the funerals took place 4 sibling girls had entrenched themselves on the opposite side of me as I was appointed POA up to their deaths and personal representative thereafter. They even hired a "friend attorney" to intervein, generating toxic fax messages about both absurd items and bank accounts titled in the farm's name, in which they wished to dip into. We do not speak and it has been nearly ten years since our parents passed.
This is right on the money. Extremely important information. This should be required by the court that all interested parties view this at the time they petition the court immediately when they turn in their application for Probate. I can't tell you how beneficial this would have been had I heard this informative post a year ago! 😳. Thi is very well put together. The advice you provided is priceless. This video is so good, it can safe family relationships if heard in time....cause you hit the nail on the head with your examples....for real, folks get goofy...the people who are your family, they can be become completely irrational, manipulative and straight nasty. I know for certain relationships have been destroyed; to the point of irreparable damage that can't be fixed. Good video
The overwhelming reason heirs fight is because assets that are left behind are illiquid. They can't easily be converted to cash and evenly divided. Real estate is the absolute worst asset to leave behind. If the heirs don't agree to sell it, there is absolutely no easy way to divide it. Greed is a false flag. Don't think greed. Think economic security. People such as heirs want economic security because we live in an uncertain world.
Saw what greed did years ago. Its awful when you have to fight over material items.My dad died yesterday and my husband and I want nothing. Don't want to get into fighting over material items. I will take my memories and let them do what needs to be done.
When I came out of the service I took care of the grandfather for 10 years, he had looked after my younger brother when my father had passed away when I was 16, my uncle rarely if ever came around until the last 2 years of his father's life, at that point he began suffering from dementia, my uncle talked him into giving him both power of attorney and executor roles, I knew what the will had stated before all of this, 50% to my uncle and the remainder split between my brother and myself, the estate was worth close to 4 million dollars, 6 months after my grandfather had passed away my brother who had flown out for the funeral asked about the will, I went to my uncle and he started giving me guff about being greedy , turns out he had the will amended, $5000 to myself and my brother, and asking for this to be settled knowing damnwell he had taken advantage of the situation, I did not talk about it other then telling him I hope it was worth it, that was 25 years ago haven't talked to him since.
An IRA only given to one sibling can also be tough, even if it was understood to be an accident. Disclaiming IRAs is a solution but that's based on the honor system.
Are wills announced in front of everyone in the will or can they they be read individually so no one knows who got what in the will so there won’t be any arguing
What can i do when a sibling moves into a 1st floor apt of a 2 family home and doesn't want to pay rent ,not even utilities and just basically living rent free. Even though she owns 1 /5 of the home. The will disappeared , so we just got my nephew as the fudicary from surrogate court . Now we decided not to sell and put deed in all five sibling names .Also how can we protect each other from neither taking a loan or taking money from estae account ?
My father passed in late january 2020, his estate is very small. But had no will. My father talked to all my brothers and i together and made his wishes clear. Ive helped him and lived with him for the past 20 years. My brothers decided they wanted to sell the home which is valued at $12,000. As i understand my rights i can buy them out. They refuse to let me, but this is my home. And now its lawyers and nonsense. Outside of that there was only $52,000 in cash assets. They wanted to take my right away from every penny in exchange for the home. Which didnt seem fair to me. Theres only 3 of us...
Mother-in-law passed away from a two year battle with cancer. So it wasn't an unexpected death. We kept her at home with nurses coming in on a daily basis. Mother in-law told the family that she wanted father-in-law to go on with his life and remarry if he chose to. Basically she loved him and didn't want him to be lonely for the remainder of his life. Sister-in-law lived next door we live in another state. When father-in-law decided to marry all h broke loose. Sister-in-law started the drama on the phone just stirring. Father-in-law and my husband signed the whole farm with the equipment and cattle over to the sister. Father-in-law moved an hour away with his new wife. It's been so peaceful for all the family. Father-in-law went on to have an eleven year wonderful marriage. It's not worth the stress and it will take a toll on your health. All the stress went away the day the sister got the deed saying it's all yours. She changed the locks on the farm gates as well. Father-in-law and sister-in-law never spoke for the last nine years of his life. If she can live with herself we can live with our peace of mind. Problem solved.
When a family member dies all the emotional garbage collected over the years come out. These are usually exaggerated beyond the reality of the issue. Then greed kicks in. Stay calm.
My sister won’t show the living will at all which is very suspicious she was my moms power of attorney and my mom did a quit claim deed under my sisters name three days under the influence of medication after leaving the hospital my sister did not had a bank joint account with my mom who she was withdrawing from it to me that was illegal spending moms money when my sister finally sold the house she did not equally distributed to my others siblings. We haven’t heard from her in months knowing she did wrong trying to hide from us just simply being greedy and not showing us the will thats a red flag all she told my other sister that mom gave her everything that’s not sufficient proof only verbal words
I just don’t understand how you can probate a will after the statute of limitations has passed. Then when my mom wants to sell land I refused to sign the paperwork because she was being taken advantage of by my brother and her brother. We go to court and the judge allows probate and I know my father’s will was altered.
A good friend of mine, who had 4 kids, passed two years ago. He told all of the kids that whatever they may want of the estate, they must bid at auction. This is an excellent way to handle it in short of just giving it all away to organizations. I have known someone to do that as well.
@@jimcole6423 - I understand for sure. It's a perfect example of Boomer/Silent Generation parents who did not properly raise their kids, gave no career advise, etc. and as a result of that rarely see their kids and grandchildren and are ticked-off. So, they punish their kids not only when they are alive, but when they are in the grave. What a pitiful and entitled generation.
I will NOT fight for something that is not mine. I worked to buy a house, buy a car and acquire material items. I did not work to buy anything my parents acquired so why in the world am I going to fight for it🤦🏽♀️
We all signed trust documemts when my parents were in their fifties, more than 30 years before either of them died. The only thing we fought over was a clause that was added in the last year of my father's life that changed the terms of the will. Once that was removed from the equation, everything else was better.
Living trust wills are called pour over wills. Basically anything left outside of the trust gets put it. The only thing I can think of off hand is a clause concerning a special needs person younger than the age of majority. I am not an attorney.
You have NO idea. We have a hoe in the house and this is a hott mess. No claims and no lease. Do NOT allow someone to live in your house!!!! This is my brothers girlfriend. They were playing Hide the paperwork because this should have been resolved and this has been going on since 2019. Hott mess
knowing this makes me happy my cousin specifically wrote my mom out of his trust/will. she is very greedy and thinks she's entitled to everything. he has no children and is a widower so I'm sure since they were close growing up she thinks she'll inherit whatever he has if he dies first but he has a plan for who he wants what to go to and he doesn't think she should get anything. I know she's going to ask me what she gets when he dies and she'll assume she gets everything but he did at least write it all out and she was written out so I don't have to fight with her. I'm tired of fighting with her. She uses her inheritance as a weapon to manipulate others, I personally don't care if I get anything but her trying to force me to do what she wants because she won't leave me anything or will take everything from others when they die and not give me my share is so annoying so at least with my cousin I'm not worried now. it's sad that greed ruins families.
Here is what will tell you. Have seen this ploy used again and again. She has the carrot and uses it year after year on different people to get them to jump to her tune. But in the end she will need what she has to pay for her care when she reaches the age where she is in a nursing home and so all her promises have a chance of not coming to fruitations. Better to just write her off and get on with life as far as that carrot. No one but the tax man will probably get it . Suggest you love her for being your parent and forget all she promises. Just a manipulation tactic to get you to do as she wants. Break the cycle and tell her no thanks. Will be amazed the freedom it gives you. At this point the persons doing this in my world have now gotten into fights with the people they have led by the carrot of money for years as their money is running out and they need it for themselves. Lots of backpeddling. Feel sorry for the ones that spent years following the carrot.
Ha better then what my foster mother did she threatened to call social services on me to accuse me of child abuse every time I wouldn't do what she wanted
@@Valerie-bb5hi wow that sucks. I don't even speak to my mom anymore. she might know I have a child but I didn't tell her. There are people who know her and I think one of them told her because she asked if I was going to tell her and I said no. I haven't spoken to my mom in 6 years and I'm not planning to. My mom was very abusive and thinks she has the right to continue that abuse because "she's my mother". that doesn't give a mom or dad a free pass to abuse their child, especially when they're an adult. I'm fortunate I don't live in the same state as my mom, we don't even live on the same coast anymore. I'm all for people cutting abusive manipulative parents out of their lives. You don't need to put up with it. Hugs!
Well over 20 years have passed since my parents have passed away you hit the nail right on the head or that is hit the head right on the nail not all of the estate has been divvied up The sibling rivalry still hasn't stopped and one of the four of us has already passed away taking extreme anger with him keep up the good work I'm proud of you
If I may summarize, the podcast’s reasons your heirs might fight … 1. One or more heirs are surprised, for better or worse. Sometimes because they’ve been led to believe otherwise, by word. But the written will prevails. Unhappy heirs can drag their feet signing papers or refuse to communicate. 2. Heirs don’t talk to each other/don’t have relationships w each other. Heirs can’t be forced to cooperate with each other, but depending on state, issues can be prevented with no-contest clauses. 3. Greed. Results in animosity and ill will. Example, it’s not unusual to make an oldest child an executor. Many don’t realize that executor’s fees are often 2.5%. Wills can stipulate that executors don’t receive compensation, or discuss compensation ahead of ‘time.’ 4. Vague, incorrect, ambiguous, into-the-weeds-of-possibilities or otherwise poorly written will. It’s best to keep directives concise. 5. Beneficiaries don’t follow rules or observe will, funny business. Example: an opportunistic relative with a key, whom absconds with anything of value before anyone’s the wiser. Communication helps. 6. When communication immediately after death is lacking or not transparent. It’s important that the family converge and find common ground, and if appropriate, summon the estate attorney. My personal note re #6, that it’s advised that the estate attorney be involved early. While I agree, it’s important the family be afforded a respectable modicum of time to grieve. When my grandmother died some 30 years ago, I was devastated. She was in her 90s, but still, had been a very important person in my family’s life. Her last 30 years or so, she’d been an integral part of my parents’ daily life. But my parents had both passed. At the cemetery, only my uncle and his wife (both conspicuously absent from my grandmother and the rest of us for half a century), my cousin, I, and her attorney came to honor her life. Of course, her contemporaries had already passed, but I was naïvely touched that at least her attorney ‘showed his respects.’ After her service, we all returned to my grandmother’s home. I was numb, and ached to talk about the life she’d lived - the day she took me, a little girl, to the Westminster Dog Show at Madison Square garden in Manhattan in her convertible wearing her checkered sunglasses, my other countless memories - and to connect with those whom I’d thought must have had their own amazing stories. Talk about shock. The moment we sat down in her little living room, the lawyer - the one person I thought had been there because he liked her - pulled out a document and started to read. I was dumbstruck. All I remember was my relatives’ non-chalantness and encouragement that the lawyer continue reading. Clearly, none of them gave a damn about her, only who-would-get-what. It foretold the ugly melee that would take NINE YEARS to settle.
I live in Wa state. My brother who lives in Texas just named me as his Estate Executor via a Will and last Testament. Can I legally be his Executor. Any advise or information regarding court documentation or the name of a good Estate and probate Lawyer would be helpful for when and if the time comes. Thank you very much.
I think a lot is people experiencing feeling that don't know how to cope with. A death in the family can be very hard. Also, In-laws cause a lot of problems. Getting in-between blood relatives is never a good idea.
My sister and I have co-power of attorney. My Mom is in Memory Care. Her investment company is not recognizing our power of attorney. My Mom did not designate a POA specifically for Ameriprise. Currently they have rejected our POA, they have frozen the account, and mentioned a “court order” Since they do not recognize our POA, they will not share any information. I understand that banks and investment companies want them if own forms signed. What can is the next step, what can we do?
Great posts. I wish my dad would have told us what he wanted to see happen with the house. My parents had a trust sold it according. One of my siblings wanted to purchase it but for significantly less than the market value.
Sounds like had good parents. The trust solved the problems of siblings fighting over house. If they wanted it should have figured out how to buy it at market price.
Im getting ready. Great advice here! But what happens when none of the heirs talk to each other and the parent encourages divisiveness among the parties?? What power or influence exists for an heir to support the equitable distribution of assets?
I am going through this now. One estranged siblings wants to pillage their storage to find abd take back the jewelry she gifted to our Mom over the years.
My stepsister is deliberately delaying some funds I inherited. She also keeps me in the dark about the,estate selling stuff and not give me an accounting of selling stuff.
Heh. My sister disappeared with our mother’s remains the first week and the medical examiner’s office became suspicious that she was going to name herself as the only next of kin, so they made the effort to get me the information. I’d gone no contact, due to narcissistic abuse from both of them and because I didn’t agree with their apparently agreed upon care of mom ignoring diabetes. But, I was trying to reach her after she emailed and told me mom died. Since that time, my sister has “decided” she’s the executor so, while I am trying to become executor and begin probate legally, you see what I’m dealing with…
My brother did exactly that but he also changed her Will while my Mother was still alive even after having his POA / executor Trustee duties removed and assigned to my youngest brother who never contacted me at all
I made everything joint ownership with my husband, so it is impossible to contest. Joint ownership means it does not go to probate. Why did I do this? Your own family (i.e., siblings) will stab you in the back without batting an eyelash.
If one other person then who or govt in estate law with knowledge of the death in qyears would the according to.intestate law set in and handled to divide I name a sum 600 to 650 k home sold in open market.and paid till maybe settlement of 100k left for payment maybe the joint person ie step.son paid ot death of my hubby(* his .onrthly payment abt 40 k and left tight enough to be paid or son maybe not to pay so held on the home and wished I.hia step mum died by 10 years so he auto get hia home.doing nothing.. so.?
My mother is in Memory Care with Alzheimer’s. My sister and I have co-POA. Her investment company does not recognize our POA since we did not sign one on their form. I understand banks and investment companies like to have “their own forms”. I had my attorney send our POA with a legal cover letter. The investment company has rejected our POA, frozen her investment account, refuse to talk to us, and have mentioned “court order”. What are your thoughts? How should we fix this? Of course, we don’t want to go to court . . .
There's a man that went to the city and got married and claimed that he was with me I wasn't with her or him or whatever and next thing you know I'm finding out there's a lot of property a lot of money involved and another guy says that he adjusts all four divorces three people all of a sudden this guy was supposed to hand me the stuff on the study took it into the cell to keep it I'm not sure where to go to find out where all of them are but I know my name is out there has been many many situations
I am not a lawyer, just someone going through this but as far as I understand the executor gets a portion of the estate as a "payment" for handling the estate. It is based on what county you are filing in and is usually a low percentage. I have seen the executor pay being set at 5% or less or the estate in some places.
My nephew sent this to me. Very interesting. I left everything to my children equally & its in a trust--they have copies. They all have more than I do (thank goodness & are modestly wealthy) but I have seen greed take over even when the Will divides everything equally. Can I make all 3 of children executers?
Make a third party the executor. Yes, they get a small percentage of the estate as payment, but this avoids SO much! I was the executor (daughter) and my 2 brothers were okay, but there were misunderstandings that lasted for years. I personally would never do that to my family. Hire a third party, usually an attorney. My 2 cents from experience. :)
We just went through 2 years of 3 children named all as executors. an absolute nightmare and had to pay a lawyer for 2 years to resolve the estate , which was time extended and way more expensive than it needed to be , because one sibling was difficult and kept calling and questioning the lawyer. Don’t do it, if you care at all for them. This 2 year process, It just divided us even further apart.
I truly appreciate all of your expertise in this area and the way you present it. My dad passed away 5 years ago and mom passed Jan. 31, 2022. So we are very much in the middle of this right now with their estate. My brother is the executor and he is not real forthcoming with the details of what is going on, however I do not believe he has done anything wrong, I just feel that since he took over the executorship in the past 5 years because mom wasn’t able to do so, he should have provided each of us an annual report of the financial situation if nothing else to protect himself . But, he did not choose to do this in written format, however he did from time to time he did verbally advise each of us a quick replay of where the finances stood at that time. My question is SHOULD he have done so or is he legally expected to do so as the executor?
How often have you been visiting your parents. Seem that if you were there enough would have had better idea of what going on and expenses they had for care.
With your mom’s passing this recent January, which should have occurred and still can occur is that the executor does a date of death appraisal of all assets. That way everyone knows exactly what they’re dealing with. I would then advise the discussion possibly with a lawyer about proceeding forward toward the end goal of settling the estate and all that would entail so that everyone’s in agreement. I would also advise documentation of all communication
I'm involved in an estate now. The PR has told me that she intends to dismiss the legitimate bills and pay out distributions to relatives listed, at her choice, pennies on the dollar of what they have inherited. The house is supposed to be sold but she intends to close the estate and then sell the house. It sounds ridiculous, so I already have in place an attorney to protect my interest. My question if she could do what she thinks and is able to close the estate what happens to the house? She is also telling me that I am responsible for taking care of the estate since I am living in the house. So far the probate is more than 18 Months old the PR is on the third extension.
@@carmella88 Yes, last week I got a call from a cousin who told me that the PR was going to evict me and the reason she can't sell the house is because I live in it and also that the PR feels that I am responsible for maintaining the Estate ie. paying the House insurance. I called my attorney and later that week he went to the Court and filed the papers to stop her. Progress is moving but we have a late court date Oct. 6th. We are asking for a complete accounting, also bringing up what has she done. We found out that she never got permission to sell the vehicle of the Estate and possibly sold it for less than fair market value.
@@RogueBurn wow very interesting.. im in a similar situation except that I believe the PR might want to move in to the property so that when my grandma passes she will be the new owner because she lived there.
Death brings out the worst in people.
You are right , it’s Greed. Causing problems.
And jealousy.
Or fear, in the case of someone who is deeply in debt and wants relief.
Thank goodness I don't have to worry about this because my happiness and joy don't come from monetary gains. 😊
We all die, it's the end game that makes all the difference...
@@alanstevens1296 bankruptcy would be the relief they are seeking
Thanks for the advice, my whole family is Greedy!!!
The primary reason is parents bias, if one heir gets 90% and other gets 10%, I don’t blame the 10% for fighting
My husband and I are rewriting our will, your explanation are so detailed and very informative. Thank you so much.
better to pass out most of it before death to keep the fighting down.
7. The executor was the favorite and greedy in life, and chances are good he will be the favorite and greedy after the parent's death too.
#7a 1 heir not the executor (being out of state cross-country) is a favorite, knows it, is a know-it-all superior narcissist, and is very greedy, having hidden real life strapped situation from parents et al for decades including huge government legal debt for business tax fraud. Again, never reveals any of these things to anyone over decades, some of which can be found on line just searching name.
Ok here I can say heres one- The Golden Child Planned to Get Everything Literally.
My father passed away in March 2021 and I am the executrix. It has been so difficult to please my brothers and sister!! Your Points are right on!! I've tried to be neutral but, greed is the biggest problem. Thank you for all your help!!
Be open and transparent, greed will subside.
I'm Joe live in Ga. Can you help
I'm amazed that brothers and sisters are so greedy when it comes to their own parent's money. It's ridiculous. My siblings aren't like that at all, thankfully. We all get along well.
My Brother's would not stay one night a week My Big brother lift mom on the porch I told him I b there 45 minutes she out side on Xmas Day 2weeks suing her Estate.!!! ????
You aren't there to please your siblings. You are there to follow your father's wishes. Don't expect to make any friends. Just do your job. If they don't like it. Too bad.
Came here for the comments 🤣🤣🤣
Me too I look at those first lol
Interestingly, my brother, sister, and I just divided things into 3 parts. It never occured to any of us to cheat. Never !!!!
That's a miracle
Lucky.
You truly love one another.
That happen in all familys, greed
Good gravy & biscuits this video just about sums up my family 🤪
Ok 👌 question:
The Executor ( also beneficiary ) is claiming the decease left quite a sum of debt behind. I am highly doubtful & extremely suspicious 😒 of this due to knowing the deceased financial methods. The Executor has POA & I feel this is the Executors debt made using the deceased accounts. If the creditors do not waive the debts & are wanting the estate to pay 💰 as a beneficiary do I have the right to request statements of the bills?
I thought for sure the sixth and greatest reason would be when heirs feel the inheritance is too unequal. That's where I'm at as an executor.
my mom had something written in that if there was any fighting, that person would be left out. But my older brother was executor & did some sneaky things to make extra dough + said he'd pay himself well for handling. No accountability on his part.
The equality of distribution is completely irrelevant...wake up children.
I have lawyer. Sent Notice to freeze assets to the brother. Brother assaulted my father, sister accusing them of "leaking" information to me. His wife (an accountant) hides money in her maiden name. Brother went ballistic. Told my lawyer. I think my lawyer's scared.
#6 would be great if all parties involved are on the same page, are also sane and reasonable. When a person with extreme narcissistic behaviors and other psychological disorders has been put in the position of executor by way of manipulation and abuse, there is now a huge problem. To engage them through legal proceedings can be a perpetual nightmare that will bankrupt you emotionally, mentally and financially. It's a very difficult decision to go ahead with pursuing justice for the sake of 'doing what is right', ensuring proper distribution of wealth involved if the cost is going to be just too great in those other areas. What to do.....?
I agree that the narcissism is what caused much issue with my family. Jesus Christ himself could not make them happy.
Yes, I align with your comment too. in may case our half brother got executors onside. i have been through the whole of the system from regulatory bodies, probate court to police. Despite finding multiple acts of fraud and perjury too - nothing is done. The solicitor has connections!!! You will not win through the legal courts, i do not trust them.
I pursued because we were gaslighted and accused of being bitter and resentful by the solicitor, just for asking questions. i wanted to know what really happened as everything was hidden, particularly the truth. I now have found a lot out, their criminality is bare for me to see. Their gaslighting and vilifying of me, a smokescreen to justify their crimes. I needed to do that and know that because there is a twist inside you when you are being told YOU are wrong but it doesn't feel right. It can eat you up. The light of truth is important.
People need to learn, en-masse the difference between law and legal. They are not the same. There is so little integrity in the world with people who work with the establishment, it has been corrupted to the core. We need to stand up and call it out.
Thats how i see it.
@@gwyneth7812 I can relate to your story as well. During an appointment with 'the lawyer' I was gaslit as well after bringing forth concerns of coercion and exclusivity in someone holding a POA. Once I heard that, I then decided that I/we would be up against a seemingly difficult (if not impossible) task of returning to where things were set up equally among a few family members. At that point I decided not to pursue things any further.
Take your and their feelings off the table. This is business. Their true colors really come out when it comes to $. Don't they. And That's all they ever cared about anyways.
@@gwyneth7812 Yes. They'll crucify your soul and your character to get their hands on what was never theirs. I saw this with my mother's family and another family. Horrible things aren't they. I'm going to write a short story about the little monsters I experienced. 100% selfish and greedy
If a house is to go to both siblings but the one sibling is to truly get it and the other sibling gets half value of house, who pays taxes and is estate paying house taxes or sibling getting house pays them himself? Does that include items in house and landscaping, how exact does one get to true value of house? Thanks! I have learned so much.
answer please
zillow is a good start. Then call the bank and ask for a list of real estate appraisers for area. Then pay them 400 to 600 dollars to go out and appraise house. Will get back a typewritten report.
5/3/21.....I know 1 family where the parents had ALL the children meet @ their "family home" @ the same time.
THEN starting with the oldest child, each child was allowed to pick 1 item that they wanted. THAT item was put on a permanent list with the child's name who chose it + a "sticker" with the child's name was put on the back/bottom/inside of that 1 item.
THEN the 2nd oldest child was given 1st choise of selecting & rotating with the (previous) oldest child being last to choose an item....
AND it went in rotation until ALL the kids had been able to pick 1 item @ a time.
THAT way everybody got to choose favorite/meaningful items & "share" it all.
ALSO 💰 value of these items supposedly were pretty equal when the FINAL TALLY was done.
Plus THIS LIST was put with the wills of both parents.
Great information and examples. (Not so many commercial interruptions please.)
Key is to make sure you keep in-laws out of this estate only deal with the the direct Heirs.
Im Glad I only have one sibling and she just wants me to take care of it all. And agreed that our widowed sister Inlaw should be in the financial situation as a family member.
Glad I only have one child. No one to fight with. 😁
my mom promised three the same thing all the time greedy ones took it all
Mom and Dad lived 2000 miles away from all of us. After Dad passed away and Mom had dementia I sold the house with all the contents in the house. I just took the pictures. And left every there. 5 months in her home. They had a chance to come and get whatever they wanted. No one came to get anything.
My sister is the executor and she has been living in estate for free and using estate money for estate bills. While under probate the the last 2 years. Is that fair.
Great advice! Communication.
You should see what happens when a native American, millionaire, with a 33 page will And a 12 page business plan suddenly dies! Clearly stating the will go by new York state laws, not native terms. 11 years it will be in this month 2021, now even the judge overseeing this has a lawyer.
My. Granma. Died. 5. Years. Ago. Now. My. Dad. Died. A. Year. A. Go. And. My. Ant. Hadn't. Split. My. Dad's. Inheritance. That. He. Was. Going. To. Get. From. My. Granma,,, what. Can. I. Do. Legally. To. Finally. Have. My. Ant. Split. My. Dad. Inheritance. To. Us. 5. Sons,,, my. Ant. Is. Controlling. Grandma's. Inheritance. Should. I. Fire. My. Inheritance lawyer. And. Get. Another. One. Because. I'm. Paying. Him. 30. Percent. From. What. I. Get. As. I'm. 1. Of. The. 5. Sons. Of. My. Father
There is only one reason heir's fight; MONEY!!!
Jealousy and greed. Executor miss using rules. Bad feelings every since!!! No communication during and after. Trust gone!
Same here 😢
My 2 brothers and I have zero relationship and they have absolutely refused to help with my mother since my step father passed away. Now as we deal with setting these in place, I know that they will absolutely battle me once the dust settles. It's just seems impossible.
they will show up with hand out and want share when dies. So be sure that are charging parents 15 to 20 per hour for her care from you. IF not enough money have her sign house over to you or sell house and pay you. Caregivers get the shaft.
They are usually sick, tired, back hurt, knees hurt. Have quit job and so have used all money had when started care giving. The medicaid charges 7,000 to 12,000 per month. Be sure to make mother pay all her expenses and utilities, do not use your money. The heirs will not care that you gave up it all for years. They will want an equal share. So be sure to have your parents pay you for your time and energy. IF it take up all the inheritance so be it. Medicaid would have taken it to care for the parents as they would have gone into the nursing home. You would have been free to lead your life instead of giving it up.
Your mother “sells” you everything (on paper) before she passes. Simple. Done. Nothing left to fight over if it’s in your name for more than 12 months. The court considers that “seasoned”. You have to pay all utilities, and they need to be in your name, (but your parent can gift you up to $18k per year tax free to cover them if needed).
My late husband had a clause in his will that anybody who contested his will would get nothing. His will also had a clause that specified that no one would receive anything from his estate until it was lawfully theirs. He had two daughters who could never agree on anything.
Can't dictate rights away under the law, but if he scared them to his wishes, I guess it's all good. But that don't try taking rights away from heirs.
Did he leave you anything?
Judges never honor that stuff. They take the path of least resistance and take the decedent’s “favorites and hateds” out of it, as it should be.
You also seem to be forgetting something. One of the heirs is a criminal and has stolen from the estate and committed financial elder abuse before the person died. I'm dealing with this. Estate crime is not uncommon. The way you fix that is with a happy slapper especially if local PD refused to get involved.
What's a happy slapper
@@triciaselman9215 It's a term from the Stephen King novel Mr. Mercedes of an impact weapon. Bill Hodges would carry an argyle tube sock loaded with ball bearings. It was very well described by well by famous RUclipsr FPSRussia (Kyle) in PKA here; ( ruclips.net/video/tF3AHkpqO5g/видео.html ). The prison equivalent is called a lock in a sock. The late Charles Bronson in Deathwish equivalent are rolls of coins in a sock ( ruclips.net/video/jGBwHQwCci0/видео.html ). I'm also being facetious in my original comment. I'm notorious for my inappropriate curmudgeon gallows humor. I'm letting my attorney handle the matter in a probate conversion suit.
Easy, Greed!
Bayou assume that heirs Want to get Lo g. Communication is NOT the issue.. It is trust. You said,”Get all the participantsTogether. “Who is going to get the participants together? Who is going to facilitate an honest and frank discussion?
Sadly my sibling and I have been estranged and none of my efforts to reconcile have worked. My siblings partner has been a bully both to me, and to that partners own siblings and mother. It’s been horrible. My father has passed, and my elderly mother had both my sibling and I as co-executors. My mother recently decided to change this and make a lawyer the executor, which I thought was quite wise. But this week my Mother is looking at the legal costs of this and has decided to make my CGA niece the Executor as she has the skills. ( daughter of my estranged sibling) I am quite worried about this and wonder if I have grounds for concern. I brought this up with my Mother and suggested that she leave it with the lawyer. But she has refused. She seems to think I am worried about what I will receive, but that is not the issue,my biggest concern is avoiding conflict. Although my sibling’s partner is not technically involved, this person does get involve and has a lot of influence over the daughter ( soon to be executor) Do I have reasons to be concerned? I sense I will be right out of the loop.
I am not an attorney. Get your mom to use Transfer of death paper work for those accounts which can do this. Retirement plans, and insurance based products have this built into it. Just have her make sure they are the way she would like it to go. I do not know what state you live in however if there is real estate she owns check with an elder law lawyer what would, be best for control while your mom is alive and least difficulty transferring it to the heirs once she dies. Attorneys can do much to help with final cost. Good planning with good representation can save an estate much more than you might think possible. The attorney hosting this channel I have yet to run into anything he has stated which I disagreed with. Whatever plans your mom chooses to make she needs to give you all instructions so you can understand why she did things the way she did. Maybe have her keep this letter with her estate docs. My dad did this and we settled his estate within a short time ~ 6 months as we had real estate we chose to sell. We had a special needs sister which required a special needs trust. We had another sister quickly become a special needs case while my parents passed away. It took some attorney work but saved huge sums of future costs. Each family is different, each state is different, so good estate planning attorneys do great service for their clients and very often save far more than their cost for the family prior to and after mom and dad die.
My sister has stars in her eyes about flipping the house she has no money to invest. None of us do. She wants to use estate money. There’s not enough and it’s not allowed without permission from commissioner. I’m administrator but have no power over the real estate side. She won’t sign at a price that the house would actually sell. Foundation roof windows doors plumbing problems. House is going to sit and rot more. We’re all going to lose the estate because she can’t comprehend why we can’t invest to flip. She’s stepping over dollars to make an imaginary gain that is impossible right now. She’s a new realtor. The awe I’m in over the disconnect in reality is unreal. 😂 I’m done with my family.
My sister has stars in her eyes about flipping the house she has no money to invest. None of us do. She wants to use estate money. There’s not enough and it’s not allowed without permission from commissioner. I’m administrator but have no power over the real estate side. She won’t sign at a price that the house would actually sell. Foundation roof windows doors plumbing problems. House is going to sit and rot more. We’re all going to lose the estate because she can’t comprehend why we can’t invest to flip. She’s stepping over dollars to make an imaginary gain that is impossible right now. She’s a new realtor. The awe I’m in over the disconnect in reality is unreal. 😂 I’m done with my family.
Another source of potential conflict: the estate contains hard assets and some are not to liquidated. Legatees accept these assets as partial liquidation of their shares. The valuation estimates can become a source of disagreement. Numerous appraisals serve to waste estate funds. Also, manner of handling a debt of one of the legatees to the decedent.
My elderly parents required nursing home care prior to their deaths, which allowed the can of worms to be opened and their reactions caused much trouble before Mother and Father passed away. By the time the funerals took place 4 sibling girls had entrenched themselves on the opposite side of me as I was appointed POA up to their deaths and personal representative thereafter. They even hired a "friend attorney" to intervein, generating toxic fax messages about both absurd items and bank accounts titled in the farm's name, in which they wished to dip into. We do not speak and it has been nearly ten years since our parents passed.
This is right on the money. Extremely important information. This should be required by the court that all interested parties view this at the time they petition the court immediately when they turn in their application for Probate. I can't tell you how beneficial this would have been had I heard this informative post a year ago! 😳. Thi is very well put together. The advice you provided is priceless. This video is so good, it can safe family relationships if heard in time....cause you hit the nail on the head with your examples....for real, folks get goofy...the people who are your family, they can be become completely irrational, manipulative and straight nasty. I know for certain relationships have been destroyed; to the point of irreparable damage that can't be fixed. Good video
The overwhelming reason heirs fight is because assets that are left behind are illiquid. They can't easily be converted to cash and evenly divided. Real estate is the absolute worst asset to leave behind. If the heirs don't agree to sell it, there is absolutely no easy way to divide it. Greed is a false flag. Don't think greed. Think economic security. People such as heirs want economic security because we live in an uncertain world.
Dad's sometimes change their minds it's allowed.
Saw what greed did years ago. Its awful when you have to fight over material items.My dad died yesterday and my husband and I want nothing. Don't want to get into fighting over material items. I will take my memories and let them do what needs to be done.
When I came out of the service I took care of the grandfather for 10 years, he had looked after my younger brother when my father had passed away when I was 16, my uncle rarely if ever came around until the last 2 years of his father's life, at that point he began suffering from dementia, my uncle talked him into giving him both power of attorney and executor roles, I knew what the will had stated before all of this, 50% to my uncle and the remainder split between my brother and myself, the estate was worth close to 4 million dollars, 6 months after my grandfather had passed away my brother who had flown out for the funeral asked about the will, I went to my uncle and he started giving me guff about being greedy , turns out he had the will amended, $5000 to myself and my brother, and asking for this to be settled knowing damnwell he had taken advantage of the situation, I did not talk about it other then telling him I hope it was worth it, that was 25 years ago haven't talked to him since.
greed is certainly the main cause. The 2 best options is the buy out or sell and divide. That should set in stone legally with a executor.
An IRA only given to one sibling can also be tough, even if it was understood to be an accident. Disclaiming IRAs is a solution but that's based on the honor system.
Are wills announced in front of everyone in the will or can they they be read individually so no one knows who got what in the will so there won’t be any arguing
What can i do when a sibling moves into a 1st floor apt of a 2 family
home and doesn't want to pay rent ,not even utilities and just basically
living rent free. Even though she owns 1 /5 of the home. The will disappeared , so we just got my nephew as the fudicary from surrogate court . Now we decided not to sell and put deed in all five sibling names .Also how can we protect each other from neither taking a loan or taking money from estae account ?
My father passed in late january 2020, his estate is very small. But had no will. My father talked to all my brothers and i together and made his wishes clear. Ive helped him and lived with him for the past 20 years.
My brothers decided they wanted to sell the home which is valued at $12,000. As i understand my rights i can buy them out. They refuse to let me, but this is my home. And now its lawyers and nonsense.
Outside of that there was only $52,000 in cash assets. They wanted to take my right away from every penny in exchange for the home. Which didnt seem fair to me. Theres only 3 of us...
Mother-in-law passed away from a two year battle with cancer. So it wasn't an unexpected death. We kept her at home with nurses coming in on a daily basis. Mother in-law told the family that she wanted father-in-law to go on with his life and remarry if he chose to. Basically she loved him and didn't want him to be lonely for the remainder of his life. Sister-in-law lived next door we live in another state. When father-in-law decided to marry all h broke loose. Sister-in-law started the drama on the phone just stirring. Father-in-law and my husband signed the whole farm with the equipment and cattle over to the sister. Father-in-law moved an hour away with his new wife. It's been so peaceful for all the family. Father-in-law went on to have an eleven year wonderful marriage. It's not worth the stress and it will take a toll on your health. All the stress went away the day the sister got the deed saying it's all yours. She changed the locks on the farm gates as well. Father-in-law and sister-in-law never spoke for the last nine years of his life. If she can live with herself we can live with our peace of mind. Problem solved.
When a family member dies all the emotional garbage collected over the years come out. These are usually exaggerated beyond the reality of the issue. Then greed kicks in. Stay calm.
The professional executors in our fathers estate hid assets - from the 'tax man' and from us - giving it to our half brother.
Write 😂 my step-brother was waiting on my birth mother to die.. I know it for a fact and my mother did too.. a will don't mean crap if you're poor..😂
Isn’t it common for a wife to leave all of her assets to the husband, and then he can distribute to the kids when he passes?
I was, I am the executor ( 3 grown kids ). I took zero. ZERO. None !!!!!!!!!!!
My sister won’t show the living will at all which is very suspicious she was my moms power of attorney and my mom did a quit claim deed under my sisters name three days under the influence of medication after leaving the hospital my sister did not had a bank joint account with my mom who she was withdrawing from it to me that was illegal spending moms money when my sister finally sold the house she did not equally distributed to my others siblings. We haven’t heard from her in months knowing she did wrong trying to hide from us just simply being greedy and not showing us the will thats a red flag all she told my other sister that mom gave her everything that’s not sufficient proof only verbal words
I just don’t understand how you can probate a will after the statute of limitations has passed. Then when my mom wants to sell land I refused to sign the paperwork because she was being taken advantage of by my brother and her brother. We go to court and the judge allows probate and I know my father’s will was altered.
7. They didn't resolve family/mom/dad relationships prior to death and are trying to resolve them in succession proceedings.
A good friend of mine, who had 4 kids, passed two years ago. He told all of the kids that whatever they may want of the estate, they must bid at auction. This is an excellent way to handle it in short of just giving it all away to organizations. I have known someone to do that as well.
Got it, give your kids nothing and be a jackass when you tell them.
@@americanbobtail1 You don't understand. Its damned if you do, damned if you don't.
@@jimcole6423 - I understand for sure. It's a perfect example of Boomer/Silent Generation parents who did not properly raise their kids, gave no career advise, etc. and as a result of that rarely see their kids and grandchildren and are ticked-off. So, they punish their kids not only when they are alive, but when they are in the grave. What a pitiful and entitled generation.
@@americanbobtail1 It doesn't matter.
@@americanbobtail1 It is not your money or mine. Everyone is different.To each their own.
I will NOT fight for something that is not mine. I worked to buy a house, buy a car and acquire material items. I did not work to buy anything my parents acquired so why in the world am I going to fight for it🤦🏽♀️
Do you have a reference for an heir property attorney in Alabama?
What if my husband left me and stepson both executors but I don't think I can handle this huge responsibility? I'm terrified of the task ahead.
Just hire a probate lawyer to do it for you.
I'm here cause I'm cheap and can't afford a lawyer
We all signed trust documemts when my parents were in their fifties, more than 30 years before either of them died. The only thing we fought over was a clause that was added in the last year of my father's life that changed the terms of the will. Once that was removed from the equation, everything else was better.
What was the clause ?
Living trust wills are called pour over wills. Basically anything left outside of the trust gets put it. The only thing I can think of off hand is a clause concerning a special needs person younger than the age of majority. I am not an attorney.
You have NO idea. We have a hoe in the house and this is a hott mess. No claims and no lease. Do NOT allow someone to live in your house!!!! This is my brothers girlfriend. They were playing Hide the paperwork because this should have been resolved and this has been going on since 2019. Hott mess
My brother was possibly poisoned and mysteriously passed away last year
knowing this makes me happy my cousin specifically wrote my mom out of his trust/will. she is very greedy and thinks she's entitled to everything. he has no children and is a widower so I'm sure since they were close growing up she thinks she'll inherit whatever he has if he dies first but he has a plan for who he wants what to go to and he doesn't think she should get anything. I know she's going to ask me what she gets when he dies and she'll assume she gets everything but he did at least write it all out and she was written out so I don't have to fight with her. I'm tired of fighting with her. She uses her inheritance as a weapon to manipulate others, I personally don't care if I get anything but her trying to force me to do what she wants because she won't leave me anything or will take everything from others when they die and not give me my share is so annoying so at least with my cousin I'm not worried now. it's sad that greed ruins families.
Here is what will tell you. Have seen this ploy used again and again. She has the carrot and uses it year after year on different people to get them to jump to her tune. But in the end she will need what she has to pay for her care when she reaches the age where she is in a nursing home and so all her promises have a chance of not coming to fruitations. Better to just write her off and get on with life as far as that carrot. No one but the tax man will probably get it
. Suggest you love her for being your parent and forget all she promises. Just a manipulation tactic to get you to do as she wants. Break the cycle and tell her no thanks. Will be amazed the freedom it gives you. At this point the persons doing this in my world have now gotten into fights with the people they have led by the carrot of money for years as their money is running out and they need it for themselves. Lots of backpeddling. Feel sorry for the ones that spent years following the carrot.
Ha better then what my foster mother did she threatened to call social services on me to accuse me of child abuse every time I wouldn't do what she wanted
@@Valerie-bb5hi wow that sucks. I don't even speak to my mom anymore. she might know I have a child but I didn't tell her. There are people who know her and I think one of them told her because she asked if I was going to tell her and I said no. I haven't spoken to my mom in 6 years and I'm not planning to. My mom was very abusive and thinks she has the right to continue that abuse because "she's my mother". that doesn't give a mom or dad a free pass to abuse their child, especially when they're an adult. I'm fortunate I don't live in the same state as my mom, we don't even live on the same coast anymore. I'm all for people cutting abusive manipulative parents out of their lives. You don't need to put up with it. Hugs!
Well over 20 years have passed since my parents have passed away you hit the nail right on the head or that is hit the head right on the nail not all of the estate has been divvied up The sibling rivalry still hasn't stopped and one of the four of us has already passed away taking extreme anger with him keep up the good work I'm proud of you
If I may summarize, the podcast’s reasons your heirs might fight …
1. One or more heirs are surprised, for better or worse. Sometimes because they’ve been led to believe otherwise, by word. But the written will prevails. Unhappy heirs can drag their feet signing papers or refuse to communicate.
2. Heirs don’t talk to each other/don’t have relationships w each other. Heirs can’t be forced to cooperate with each other, but depending on state, issues can be prevented with no-contest clauses.
3. Greed. Results in animosity and ill will. Example, it’s not unusual to make an oldest child an executor. Many don’t realize that executor’s fees are often 2.5%. Wills can stipulate that executors don’t receive compensation, or discuss compensation ahead of ‘time.’
4. Vague, incorrect, ambiguous, into-the-weeds-of-possibilities or otherwise poorly written will. It’s best to keep directives concise.
5. Beneficiaries don’t follow rules or observe will, funny business. Example: an opportunistic relative with a key, whom absconds with anything of value before anyone’s the wiser. Communication helps.
6. When communication immediately after death is lacking or not transparent. It’s important that the family converge and find common ground, and if appropriate, summon the estate attorney.
My personal note re #6, that it’s advised that the estate attorney be involved early. While I agree, it’s important the family be afforded a respectable modicum of time to grieve. When my grandmother died some 30 years ago, I was devastated. She was in her 90s, but still, had been a very important person in my family’s life. Her last 30 years or so, she’d been an integral part of my parents’ daily life. But my parents had both passed. At the cemetery, only my uncle and his wife (both conspicuously absent from my grandmother and the rest of us for half a century), my cousin, I, and her attorney came to honor her life. Of course, her contemporaries had already passed, but I was naïvely touched that at least her attorney ‘showed his respects.’ After her service, we all returned to my grandmother’s home. I was numb, and ached to talk about the life she’d lived - the day she took me, a little girl, to the Westminster Dog Show at Madison Square garden in Manhattan in her convertible wearing her checkered sunglasses, my other countless memories - and to connect with those whom I’d thought must have had their own amazing stories. Talk about shock. The moment we sat down in her little living room, the lawyer - the one person I thought had been there because he liked her - pulled out a document and started to read. I was dumbstruck. All I remember was my relatives’ non-chalantness and encouragement that the lawyer continue reading. Clearly, none of them gave a damn about her, only who-would-get-what. It foretold the ugly melee that would take NINE YEARS to settle.
I live in Wa state. My brother who lives in Texas just named me as his Estate Executor via a Will and last Testament. Can I legally be his Executor. Any advise or information regarding court documentation or the name of a good Estate and probate Lawyer would be helpful for when and if the time comes. Thank you very much.
I think a lot is people experiencing feeling that don't know how to cope with. A death in the family can be very hard. Also, In-laws cause a lot of problems. Getting in-between blood relatives is never a good idea.
My sister and I have co-power of attorney. My Mom is in Memory Care. Her investment company is not recognizing our power of attorney. My Mom did not designate a POA specifically for Ameriprise. Currently they have rejected our POA, they have frozen the account, and mentioned a “court order” Since they do not recognize our POA, they will not share any information. I understand that banks and investment companies want them if own forms signed. What can is the next step, what can we do?
Great posts. I wish my dad would have told us what he wanted to see happen with the house. My parents had a trust sold it according. One of my siblings wanted to purchase it but for significantly less than the market value.
@@marycain5668 Sorry. Not sure what your comment means
Sounds like had good parents. The trust solved the problems of siblings fighting over house. If they wanted it should have figured out how to buy it at market price.
Im getting ready. Great advice here! But what happens when none of the heirs talk to each other and the parent encourages divisiveness among the parties?? What power or influence exists for an heir to support the equitable distribution of assets?
I am going through this now. One estranged siblings wants to pillage their storage to find abd take back the jewelry she gifted to our Mom over the years.
My stepsister is deliberately delaying some funds I inherited. She also keeps me in the dark about the,estate selling stuff and not give me an accounting of selling stuff.
Heh. My sister disappeared with our mother’s remains the first week and the medical examiner’s office became suspicious that she was going to name herself as the only next of kin, so they made the effort to get me the information.
I’d gone no contact, due to narcissistic abuse from both of them and because I didn’t agree with their apparently agreed upon care of mom ignoring diabetes. But, I was trying to reach her after she emailed and told me mom died.
Since that time, my sister has “decided” she’s the executor so, while I am trying to become executor and begin probate legally, you see what I’m dealing with…
My mother has a living trust and I’m the trustee. When she passes, I get everything. I am her essentially. Easy peasy.
I think my son's dad's will has been forged
I bet it has !
My brother did exactly that but he also changed her Will while my Mother was still alive even after having his POA / executor Trustee duties removed and assigned to my youngest brother who never contacted me at all
Sometimes the deceased communicated different things to different people.
Hi I want to keep my son and his kids from getting anything. And have my home sold and the money from it given to a company. Instead
I made everything joint ownership with my husband, so it is impossible to contest. Joint ownership means it does not go to probate. Why did I do this? Your own family (i.e., siblings) will stab you in the back without batting an eyelash.
If one other person then who or govt in estate law with knowledge of the death in qyears would the according to.intestate law set in and handled to divide I name a sum 600 to 650 k home sold in open market.and paid till maybe settlement of 100k left for payment maybe the joint person ie step.son paid ot death of my hubby(* his .onrthly payment abt 40 k and left tight enough to be paid or son maybe not to pay so held on the home and wished I.hia step mum died by 10 years so he auto get hia home.doing nothing.. so.?
Great
If a will is done properly it should stand. And get on with what was in the will
I’m a heir where can I find a copy of last will and testiment
What does a disability mean in a will? But there a trust too
My mother is in Memory Care with Alzheimer’s. My sister and I have co-POA. Her investment company does not recognize our POA since we did not sign one on their form. I understand banks and investment companies like to have “their own forms”. I had my attorney send our POA with a legal cover letter. The investment company has rejected our POA, frozen her investment account, refuse to talk to us, and have mentioned “court order”. What are your thoughts? How should we fix this? Of course, we don’t want to go to court . . .
Sounds like they setting it up to keep the investment
There's a man that went to the city and got married and claimed that he was with me I wasn't with her or him or whatever and next thing you know I'm finding out there's a lot of property a lot of money involved and another guy says that he adjusts all four divorces three people all of a sudden this guy was supposed to hand me the stuff on the study took it into the cell to keep it I'm not sure where to go to find out where all of them are but I know my name is out there has been many many situations
That's evil
How much does an executive be able to pay them self? Is it a percentage of the whole inheritance or a set amount?
I am not a lawyer, just someone going through this but as far as I understand the executor gets a portion of the estate as a "payment" for handling the estate. It is based on what county you are filing in and is usually a low percentage. I have seen the executor pay being set at 5% or less or the estate in some places.
Mr. Rabalais do you have a Facebook page?
Excellent information!
How do I co tact you!
My nephew sent this to me. Very interesting. I left everything to my children equally & its in a trust--they have copies. They all have more than I do (thank goodness & are modestly wealthy) but I have seen greed take over even when the Will divides everything equally. Can I make all 3 of children executers?
Make a third party the executor. Yes, they get a small percentage of the estate as payment, but this avoids SO much! I was the executor (daughter) and my 2 brothers were okay, but there were misunderstandings that lasted for years. I personally would never do that to my family. Hire a third party, usually an attorney. My 2 cents from experience. :)
We just went through 2 years of 3 children named all as executors. an absolute nightmare and had to pay a lawyer for 2 years to resolve the estate , which was time extended and way more expensive than it needed to be , because one sibling was difficult and kept calling and questioning the lawyer. Don’t do it, if you care at all for them. This 2 year process, It just divided us even further apart.
These sisters...
Thank you
hope
I truly appreciate all of your expertise in this area and the way you present it. My dad passed away 5 years ago and mom passed Jan. 31, 2022. So we are very much in the middle of this right now with their estate. My brother is the executor and he is not real forthcoming with the details of what is going on, however I do not believe he has done anything wrong, I just feel that since he took over the executorship in the past 5 years because mom wasn’t able to do so, he should have provided each of us an annual report of the financial situation if nothing else to protect himself . But, he did not choose to do this in written format, however he did from time to time he did verbally advise each of us a quick replay of where the finances stood at that time. My question is SHOULD he have done so or is he legally expected to do so as the executor?
How often have you been visiting your parents. Seem that if you were there enough would have had better idea of what going on and expenses they had for care.
Nothing in writing in 5 years is executor negligence.
With your mom’s passing this recent January, which should have occurred and still can occur is that the executor does a date of death appraisal of all assets. That way everyone knows exactly what they’re dealing with. I would then advise the discussion possibly with a lawyer about proceeding forward toward the end goal of settling the estate and all that would entail so that everyone’s in agreement. I would also advise documentation of all communication
Cool thanks
lol
👁️
I'm involved in an estate now. The PR has told me that she intends to dismiss the legitimate bills and pay out distributions to relatives listed, at her choice, pennies on the dollar of what they have inherited. The house is supposed to be sold but she intends to close the estate and then sell the house. It sounds ridiculous, so I already have in place an attorney to protect my interest. My question if she could do what she thinks and is able to close the estate what happens to the house? She is also telling me that I am responsible for taking care of the estate since I am living in the house. So far the probate is more than 18 Months old the PR is on the third extension.
Any update ?
@@carmella88 Yes, last week I got a call from a cousin who told me that the PR was going to evict me and the reason she can't sell the house is because I live in it and also that the PR feels that I am responsible for maintaining the Estate ie. paying the House insurance. I called my attorney and later that week he went to the Court and filed the papers to stop her. Progress is moving but we have a late court date Oct. 6th. We are asking for a complete accounting, also bringing up what has she done. We found out that she never got permission to sell the vehicle of the Estate and possibly sold it for less than fair market value.
@@RogueBurn wow very interesting.. im in a similar situation except that I believe the PR might want to move in to the property so that when my grandma passes she will be the new owner because she lived there.
Need help with probate Laws Ga
@@josephbearden6410 No SC.
You want my family to get in a room with a attorney???? Lol!! Homeland Security maybe.