@@cryst4l_clear456 🎶This is the game that never ends. Yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started playing and not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing forever just becuase this is the game that never ends...🎶
Considering that the "Win" in "You "Win"" was in quotations I thought if you land on it there was gonna be a card that said something like: "You realize that it's the journey, not the destination that matters. Go back to start". Considering that the last game Vale made was unbeatable, I’m surprised that this one was beatable. He was so merciful.
The clown board seems like a pleasant place to be, since you don't have to draw any pain cards. For future versions of the game, make the clown board more painful.
Next video: "I invented an actual honest-to-god physical torture device and locked my friends in it", followed by "building a torture device in federal prison"
I just thought of a way to make the "everyone go back" card less painful, yet more chaotic. Add an option in the shop to remove that card from the draw pile and put it in the discard pile. If the players don't want this card drawn, someone will have to pay for it every-time the draw pile is remade. Which means, it becomes an interesting variant of the prisoner dilemma, wherein each player has the option of spending their precious money on this, or be greedy and hope someone else pay for it.
even worse: add an option to pay to add it back into the draw pile someone loosing horrendous can now bring everyone else down with them, sowing discord and chaos.
Secret alternative pain deck: If a player is speaking in a French accent or imitating Charles De Gaulle when they land on Pain, they get a card from an alternative deck with bread-themed, mostly positive cards.
pain card 1: go make toast pain card 2: have a sandwich :) if you're under the conditions for pain cards and not pain cards then you're. running out of bread
I wanted to play this with my friends the other day and the moment I saw it wasn't on the workshop CRUSHED me. I so wanted to introduce them to the chaos on display here
The problem with the "everyone goes back to start" card was the number of players you had. Increasing the players rattled through the deck faster than in your testing, so there wasn't enough time between resets. It makes the winning strategy just enduring the pain and aiming to collect up enough cash to buy victory.
@@binguloid actually, pretty much exactly capitalism. The only difference is this one was deliberately designed to be unnecessary torture, while the only reason Capitalism is like that is due to humans *really* hating actually fixing their systems when upgrades become available IRL. They're fine with pointlessly trying to find ways to persecute each other though, but that's neither here nor there, although it might be a good add on for Vale's next game.
I genuinely want to play this game with my friends but it would be absolutely fucking unplayable because of all the inside jokes and references that none of us would get
I feel like the distrubtion version of this game is one with "[insert in-joke here]" for the game master to fill in and the table top simulator tutorials valefisk used.
I love how the guy who got Joe Biden just did a Senator Armstrong impression instead and everybody went with it. Edit: Hey RUclips, it would have been nice to know that editing my comment to correct a typo would have deleted the heart that Valefisk gave me before I did so.
the most torturous part of this game is that it's crossed beyond the barrier of the video and affects the viewer because we can't play the game for ourselves. truly the most torturous part of the game
11:03 The hell I actually would've know the answer to that question. Since I'm a Finn, my dad has told me about the Winter War between Finland and Russia in 1939. Afte the war, Finland agreed to pay war indemnities to Russia. For some reason, I would always remember quite precisely the details about the payment. This included over 100 ships and huge amounts of timber, forestry and metal industry products. Frying pans for example. All this would amount to over 300 million US dollars, which when converted to Russian rubles, will amount to roughly 17,5 billion rubles.
Finland is such a neat country, not to mention the great legends who rose from that time. Simo Hayha, and Lauri Taurni. The White Death, and The Traveling Hero (that's what I call Lauri Taurni, considering his history.)
@@Zeppe2 I learned of both thanks to a certain Swedish metal band with historically themed lyrics. That also just so happens to have gotten a holy artifact from the Church of Poland. Delivered by the Archbishop of said Church himself at a concert.
@@rafaelmarkos4489 Yes but with this one the pain isn't instant. You have to live with the existential dread that it doesn't matter how much progress you’re making, as unless you finish the game, everything you worked for is gonna be gone.
To make it a bit more fun, whenever you grab it again, the timer extends just a bit, so people would have to through the pain (lol) faster in order to have a chance at this
Valefisk at the start of the year: "I've decided I want to become a youtuber full time" Valefisk in the middle of the year: "Scratch that, I want to become a torturer full time"
To be fair, if Vale DID play, imagine him trying to GM while being an Italian Shrek who can only quote Lord of the Rings. Yeah, it would be an actual nightmare.
I love how seemingly half of the cards force players to speak in quotes, add random noises to sentences or just straight up gibberish. It's the tower of Babel all over again
Seems like the key is to nominate one person as the savior, and then get everyone else stuck on clown boards just going in loops so they can't land on pain spots and reset.
yeah because theres a pain card that send everyone back to start so you cant win if there are too many players they eat through the cards and send everyone back alternative tactic is everyone conspires to spend all there money sending them back so they can stay near the money tiles near the start
kinda feels like the best strategy is to just endure the negative effects as much as possible and just quietly roll for money until you have $100 to pay to win the game.
This is my first and favorite Valefisk video. Whenever I feel sad, or sick, or bored, or need something as background noise, this is one of the videos I always come back to. Thank you, Valefisk, for bringing me joy through the torment of your friends. I only wish I could be this problematic while keeping my friends and sanity. Truly, you are a role model I will look up to for years to come. XD
It's crazy because if they actually worked together they would be finished by the 3 hour mark. But for some reason winning an arbitrary game was too appealing
I think part of the problem was that it took a few hours to figure out how they needed to work together. I wouldn't have thought that there was a way _to_ work together until after the "Everyone goes back to the start, lol" card was mentioned...
@@coconoisette if they agree have one person go forward and everyone else always choose "return to start" it would minimize the chance of return to start appearing
Vale. My god Vale I know what must be done. What game allows for more gaslighting and bullshit than any other? Thats right, a TTRPG dungeon crawl. Build the single most hellish Dungeon imaginable and force them to fight through it. Even better, pitch different genres and styles of games to all your players so they each come with the most disjointed, out of place character possible.
My personal favourite trap suggestion. You allow the players to observe a 31ft long corridor. At the end of this corridor is a corner turn leading to an indestructible, locked door. At the start of the corridor is a trap warning, crushing plates of instant death for anyone who steps into the corridor, but they only trigger 50% of the time. No tricks. No skills or ways out of it. Just a 50/50 chance of death every time you cross the corridor. But what about the locked door you ask? Well, scrawled in black chalk are nordic symbols which correctly translate to "the key is hidden behind the sign." The players are then forced to possibly cross back over just to get the key, then again to unlock the door. Which would then turn out to be a dead end
@@timeenoughatlast3368 And just a cherry, have the germanic runic alphabets be mixed up and all written as bindrunes, to make translation that much more difficult- but in reality the sign has a decorative border that is actually secret instructions in Ogham of how to find a series of buttons in the corridor you have to press in an order, only to do nothing
I can't imagine the confusion somebody watching with the sound off would've experienced seeing "they killed my wife" keep popping up. This game seems like the best and worst time of someone's life simultaneously
At 18:00 - idea for a modification to the game: Make certain negative effects be contagious, so that if someone lands on the same space as another it can get passed to them too.
This would also make the Pain deck get progressively larger as copies of the cards get sent to the discard when removed or replaced, making the game more viable with larger player amounts without removing the "everyone return to start" card from play. Not a bad idea at all.
"Cocolate" is probably due to bad OCR when scanning a printed document directly to PDF. That is why many legal documents online have spelling errors, they're typically printed out in a serif font like Times New Roman where some of the details are hard to parse by the software.
Because I'm a huge nerd I actually looked up the document. The official one doesn't have the spelling error. Also the actual recipes are about 1 page long. The rest is a lot of very specific anti-'there ain't no rule' legalese about the quality of the ingredients, the way they want it packaged, and the way they're going to inspect the final product.
Just add checkpoints that count as “start” when passed as a way to counter go back to start being drawn so many times, that way you get both the pain of going back to start every hour but you also have a better chance to finish the game before the heat death of the universe 😂
I'd unironically like to play this with my friends myself. Maybe with alcohol involved. And me running the game rather than playing. And, probably even more alcohol.
“Using shift with your thumb” just unlocked a core memory of mine about some fucking freak in a streamer discord I was in who was convinced that using your keyboard like that was was completely natural and normal, and the dude had like a 4 inch long thumb and thought everyone else was crazy.
As someone who still has 2048 installed on their phone from when that was popular, and still plays it regularly. That 2048 card is brutal, there are a few strategies for the game but an immense part of it is just luck of where the next number spawns, and all it takes is one bad spawn to end a run.
@@suburbanshrub6675 same this was legit like the only 'challenge' i could do without ripping my hair out.... god forbid i get chess cause i don't know how to play my uncle tried teaching me a few times and that went horribly....
it is fairly luck based but as someone who's played it for maybe six years or so, as soon as i got my first 2048 it somehow instantly became easier to me. bad luck can kill a run or at least make it a lot more inconvenient but if you know how to adapt your strategy a little then it's not usually a big deal. imo the worst part about the 2048 card is just that it can take like a good 10 minutes to actually win a game but i guess with how much they were fucking about that isn't too long lmfao
Vale : "So now Novel is an Old Man, a Horse, and is speaking in LoTR Quotes" [32:13] Novel : "At this point can I just be fucking Gandalf, **neigh** :(" _My Asthmatic Lungs were not ready for that..._
"Go outside and touch grass" Me who lives in a house where the front and back yards are concrete and bricks and the nearest park is a 30 minute walk away
I made a board game that was also hell for a middle school project. It was a mix of monopoly and the Oregon trail. It was based off of a book called “a long walk to water” so I appropriately named it “a long game to water”
naming suggestion: the game of purgatory anyway, please make this puplicly available in the workshop and if you do please add a feature that lets you add your own prompts. that would be so awesome
Anyone recall that old story about the knight that plays chess with the grim reaper to try and extend his life? Imagine if the knight pulled this b++++++t out.
@@kirbywithlegs98 My comments with swearing get hidden by RUclips more often, and little experiments like this show me how often comments are shadow banned.
@@juliewinchester1488 Try it yourself. Make a comment where you would normally swear then make a comment where you don't swear. Big tech has always restricted speech, they can't help it; it's in their nature.
The real question is how in the hell you find such amazing military pdfs. I'm putting together my own game inspired by yours to torture my friends, and I can't find any for the life of me.
This video remains one of my favourite of all time. Not just of yours, but on the platform. The crown jewel achievement? Well, you know when you show a friend video that you really love or think is funny and 99% of the time they’re like “oh that’s cool I guess” and you both move onto something else without finishing it? I once showed this to a friend who loves tabletop games, being like “it’s past midnight and it’s an hour long we absolutely do not have to finish this I just think you’ll like it” and next thing you know we wound up WATCHING THE ENTIRE THING. And THEN we started the ChatGPT board game video and only stopped because it was about 2am and I still had to drive home. Something something, comment for the algorithm, love what you do.
9:56 at this moment the game started feeling morr like a SAW movie than a funny pain game 'Im not a cruel man, i will give you the means to find out this question, you have 60 seconds on the timer to discover which CIA document is tue anwser'
I think playtesting the game on 3(4?) people with a card that sends everyone back to the start and then playing it with like 12 might have been the imbalance here
What if instead of removing the "everyone back to start" card after some time, certain spaces were outlined and if you're in one of those you get to stay there? perhaps the final loop could be fully protected, or maybe all but one, and in general they're sorta like chance checkpoints randomly scattered across the board
but if that were to happen then i would get rid of that cards entire purpose sure people would go back to start but not everyone like the card says and we gotta follow the rules now trust me its better this way
You can make the "everyone goes back" card double-faced, so that it only works the first time and then becomes something else. The side effect here is that everyone knows when it's coming, adding a level of "strategy" to the game lol. The other side of the card could also be something that everyone does, but a bit nerfed
I feel like a 4 person test group may not have been an appropriate test for the speed at which a 10 player group would cycle through the pain deck This is not a complaint
"everyone goes back to start" means that the more players there are the more impossible the game becomes
Boutta host a 25 player game
@@cryst4l_clear456 🎶This is the game that never ends. Yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started playing and not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing forever just becuase this is the game that never ends...🎶
@@syrusgrove8682 Even though i never watched that show, I understand that reference
@@nfortyeight what show is it
@@zixvirzjghamn737 search, the song that doesn’t end
*The hardest quest in any video game "Go Outside And Touch Grass"*
truly impossible
What do you think about this 3:33
🎩
🪳
Look! Its The Spiffing Brit!
Sir! Today I had many glasses of yorkshire tea!
@@prodrom it do be me...
This *desperately* needs a public release
Fr tho!
I’d love to play this with friends. It’d make me go crazy, but in a good way.
YES PLEASE
with some modifications, it would be really good.
No
Please
No
i was really expecting "you 'win'" to just unveil an entire second board
Me simulater
to really win you have to not suffer, that's why it is called "you "win""
YES
I'ma make a copy of this board, and make more levels for this board.
Temple of Madness
"I'm afraid it's the new deal, brought by FDR to the United States" fucking killed me
Brilliant
18:48
I know, haha. I've never laughed harder in my life watching a video. In the middle of the night, no less!
E
@@EEEEEEEEF
‘Groog want egg”
“Courage is found in unlikely places”
“Richard?”
“Neigh neigh”
“Grooog”
It is indeed a fucking disaster
Yeah that's right Richard, care I do not CLICK CLOCK CLICK CLOCK
34:21
The only game where you have to memorize the Bible and several released CIA documents to stand a chance
Finally im actually useful
Remembering the bible wouldn't even help you in here.
The Bible isn't gonna help much with those questions.
don't forget about the most obscure paradox questions
the bible won't help you with deep catholic lore
Considering that the "Win" in "You "Win"" was in quotations I thought if you land on it there was gonna be a card that said something like: "You realize that it's the journey, not the destination that matters. Go back to start".
Considering that the last game Vale made was unbeatable, I’m surprised that this one was beatable. He was so merciful.
instead of going back to start, it makes you go to a mirrored version of the board.
It should just reveal a whole second board even worse than the first
Technically, it wasn’t. Because he had to take a card out of circulation for them to ACTUALLY progress
@@RealCoolstriker64 oh God. Imagine if the card he removed is what the O.C was proposing...
That would just be cruel.
@@kaiseremotion854, It’s just Castlevania.
The clown board seems like a pleasant place to be, since you don't have to draw any pain cards.
For future versions of the game, make the clown board more painful.
Clown board is just the Matrix
evil incarnate
Clowns are all about hiding the pain with humor
Next video: "I invented an actual honest-to-god physical torture device and locked my friends in it", followed by "building a torture device in federal prison"
If anything he’ll get hired by the feds to be the new warden at Gitmo.
@Anna ♪ bad timing
edit: and ironic somewhat
@@johnsteampunk6408 What the hell is behind those links?
Isn't this what Michael Reeves used to make? Maybe Valefisk can get some inspiration from his videos.
@@theangrymilitant they're just spam bots
I just thought of a way to make the "everyone go back" card less painful, yet more chaotic. Add an option in the shop to remove that card from the draw pile and put it in the discard pile. If the players don't want this card drawn, someone will have to pay for it every-time the draw pile is remade.
Which means, it becomes an interesting variant of the prisoner dilemma, wherein each player has the option of spending their precious money on this, or be greedy and hope someone else pay for it.
That's an amazing idea hahaha
even worse: add an option to pay to add it back into the draw pile
someone loosing horrendous can now bring everyone else down with them, sowing discord and chaos.
@@laniaki463 oh god, you are a mad man
@@laniaki463 R/Madlads
@@laniaki463 Even better if you make it cheap to put back. Like $1 dollar cheap.
That ending killed me, you can't even flip the board to vent your frustration.
You are a monster for making this game. I love you.
E
@@darthvader8744 sports
@@ProfessionalBugLover ITS IN THE GAME
609thliker
“The fear of loss is a path to the dark side.”
“They killed my wife.”
Best exchange, hands down.
"I'm afraid that in your anger you have killed her."
45:41
@@mxm23adregalusandmore62 goat
They sounded like bots on Reddit. It was great 😅
Actual real life copies when?
Secret alternative pain deck: If a player is speaking in a French accent or imitating Charles De Gaulle when they land on Pain, they get a card from an alternative deck with bread-themed, mostly positive cards.
Okay this is funny
He *was* pretty lucky irl
pain card 1: go make toast
pain card 2: have a sandwich :)
if you're under the conditions for pain cards and not pain cards then you're. running out of bread
"your baguette crumbled. go back to the last pain tile and draw from the pain deck"
“If bread in french is pain, then I own a fucking bakery” -Literally pick anyone in this video
I wanted to play this with my friends the other day and the moment I saw it wasn't on the workshop CRUSHED me. I so wanted to introduce them to the chaos on display here
It's so sad that it has been retroactively added to the Geneva Convention in its fifth and final amendment
“For you see, Young Skywalker, I have 1 Gregor Samsa buck in my possession”
I’m framing this
They killed my wife
E
Copeland.
@@alexandersean4708 yea that's right Richard I don't care
35:52
The problem with the "everyone goes back to start" card was the number of players you had. Increasing the players rattled through the deck faster than in your testing, so there wasn't enough time between resets. It makes the winning strategy just enduring the pain and aiming to collect up enough cash to buy victory.
Ah capitalism
@@Udle101 not exactly
@@binguloid pay to win
So....what you are saying is that his toture method is unintentionally better then expected
@@binguloid actually, pretty much exactly capitalism. The only difference is this one was deliberately designed to be unnecessary torture, while the only reason Capitalism is like that is due to humans *really* hating actually fixing their systems when upgrades become available IRL. They're fine with pointlessly trying to find ways to persecute each other though, but that's neither here nor there, although it might be a good add on for Vale's next game.
The [redacted] deck is probably the funniest thing I've seen in years. Every single card was pure gold. I would like a copy.
"She couldn't stay your little girl forever, Jim.
Beep beep."
My sides.
"Richard"
“They killed my wife”
COPE-LAND
COPE-LAND
COPE-LAND
ㅤㅤㅤ
That JUST happened in the video as I read the comment
I love how every so often we just get a sad "they killed my wife" for no apparent reason. Also, Gregor Samsa Bucks made me laugh way too hard
I didn't kill my wife.
What was worse was that there was 2 of them and not once in this video did the other say "I don't care" when the other said "I didn't kill my wife."
@@xyz3524 I knew it was Richard all along. He's the one who did it
“Charles deGaul is right between General Grevieous and Patrick Bateman” laughed so hard at that
I genuinely want to play this game with my friends but it would be absolutely fucking unplayable because of all the inside jokes and references that none of us would get
I feel like the distrubtion version of this game is one with "[insert in-joke here]" for the game master to fill in and the table top simulator tutorials valefisk used.
Gotta customize your own board for the friend group.
if it doesn't exist, make it yourself.
it's also mathematically impossible to win
make your own
Very sad Vale cut out my defence of libertarianism in French when I was Charles De Gaulle
Convince him to give you the clip so that it can be shared
French is basically gibberish and we already heard the defence in gibberish.
I genuinely need a clip of this.
j’aime la pensée de la tête français pendant la Seconde Guerre mondiale défendant le libertarianisme
LOL
Lmao
"Now, I am not a cruel man"
I love how he keeps repeating this line, knowing nobody will believe him
"You have no money. Too bad. You remain as Star Wars Shrek making car noises."
I love this channel.
E
I have a bad feeling about this VROOM KACHOW
@@actuallyIDontExist get out of my parking garage
@@ProfessionalBugLover no
That's the future capitalists want lmao
I love how the guy who got Joe Biden just did a Senator Armstrong impression instead and everybody went with it.
Edit: Hey RUclips, it would have been nice to know that editing my comment to correct a typo would have deleted the heart that Valefisk gave me before I did so.
But as for now, our protagonist Raiden with Biden
What are you talking about, thats clearly biden.
@@orangetabby7122 Joe Raiden.
That was closer to a macho man impression than Armstrong
@@breckhodges3177
What’s the difference?
the most torturous part of this game is that it's crossed beyond the barrier of the video and affects the viewer because we can't play the game for ourselves.
truly the most torturous part of the game
11:03 The hell I actually would've know the answer to that question. Since I'm a Finn, my dad has told me about the Winter War between Finland and Russia in 1939. Afte the war, Finland agreed to pay war indemnities to Russia. For some reason, I would always remember quite precisely the details about the payment. This included over 100 ships and huge amounts of timber, forestry and metal industry products. Frying pans for example. All this would amount to over 300 million US dollars, which when converted to Russian rubles, will amount to roughly 17,5 billion rubles.
17.5 billion back then or now? That’s cool though.
@@robertdolcetti450 Back then I'm assuming.
Finland is such a neat country, not to mention the great legends who rose from that time. Simo Hayha, and Lauri Taurni. The White Death, and The Traveling Hero (that's what I call Lauri Taurni, considering his history.)
@@airplanemaniacgaming7877 I'm glad to see someone who is well informed on Finlands history
@@Zeppe2 I learned of both thanks to a certain Swedish metal band with historically themed lyrics.
That also just so happens to have gotten a holy artifact from the Church of Poland. Delivered by the Archbishop of said Church himself at a concert.
Here’s an idea for a pain card: Set a timer for an hour, and if the game hasn’t ended when it goes off, everybody goes back to start.
Given the number of back to start conditions, I think it might be unnecessary.
@@rafaelmarkos4489 Yes but with this one the pain isn't instant. You have to live with the existential dread that it doesn't matter how much progress you’re making, as unless you finish the game, everything you worked for is gonna be gone.
To make it a bit more fun, whenever you grab it again, the timer extends just a bit, so people would have to through the pain (lol) faster in order to have a chance at this
@@user-leet37598 yea give them 1 extra minute each time they pick it up
@@vulkarma741 nah 1 whole hour
How to make it even better:
First to win wins, but the game is only beat once _all_ players reach win.
~Darkstalker
Valefisk at the start of the year: "I've decided I want to become a youtuber full time"
Valefisk in the middle of the year: "Scratch that, I want to become a torturer full time"
The perfect arc
Torture is like fun, except with fun more than one person is happy
Next Valefisk video: "I Invented A New Torture Device To Torture My Friends"
sensing a pattern here yet?
I Put My Friends In An IRL Saw Trap For $10,000! (Not Clickbait)
"Myself included."
@@Valefisk make a crypt sequel that only changes the color with one more puzzle, and claim you completely overhauled the game for your next victims
Are they even friends at this point?
To be fair, if Vale DID play, imagine him trying to GM while being an Italian Shrek who can only quote Lord of the Rings. Yeah, it would be an actual nightmare.
I love how seemingly half of the cards force players to speak in quotes, add random noises to sentences or just straight up gibberish. It's the tower of Babel all over again
Соя имба
@@duftx this goes hard
@@thesalad943 im cryin and shakin rn
@@duftx Вареная фасоль
Without context, "They killed my wife." is so out of left field and it's hilarious
E
@@EEEEEEEE E
@@lonelyincorporated1583 E
@@dewfeather8209 E
@@alexandersean4708 E
the fact that at 51:24 we can see it landing on Palpatine instead of Gunray is just awesome
Seems like the key is to nominate one person as the savior, and then get everyone else stuck on clown boards just going in loops so they can't land on pain spots and reset.
when are you coming back to dynamite max
The meta is forming...
Ah, Christianity
yeah because theres a pain card that send everyone back to start so you cant win if there are too many players they eat through the cards and send everyone back
alternative tactic is everyone conspires to spend all there money sending them back so they can stay near the money tiles near the start
kinda feels like the best strategy is to just endure the negative effects as much as possible and just quietly roll for money until you have $100 to pay to win the game.
I like how she says "I took a painkiller" after all these Pain cards. Also, this seems like an excellent game for a bunch of drunks friends to play.
I fear for the physical safety of your face or your computer and it's accessories
nay, I say, to the proposed statement
@@Rekkuza-eu6sp *WOLOLO*
@@Rekkuza-eu6sp somebody drew the Catholicism card
E
Except if you have a severely hungover friend and said person has to do ten push-ups or go back to the start
This is my first and favorite Valefisk video. Whenever I feel sad, or sick, or bored, or need something as background noise, this is one of the videos I always come back to. Thank you, Valefisk, for bringing me joy through the torment of your friends. I only wish I could be this problematic while keeping my friends and sanity.
Truly, you are a role model I will look up to for years to come. XD
It's crazy because if they actually worked together they would be finished by the 3 hour mark. But for some reason winning an arbitrary game was too appealing
I think part of the problem was that it took a few hours to figure out how they needed to work together. I wouldn't have thought that there was a way _to_ work together until after the "Everyone goes back to the start, lol" card was mentioned...
@@timothymclean to
I only thought if one player can give money to another, everyone just need to save $100 together
How can they work together?
@@coconoisette if they agree have one person go forward and everyone else always choose "return to start" it would minimize the chance of return to start appearing
Vale. My god Vale I know what must be done. What game allows for more gaslighting and bullshit than any other? Thats right, a TTRPG dungeon crawl. Build the single most hellish Dungeon imaginable and force them to fight through it. Even better, pitch different genres and styles of games to all your players so they each come with the most disjointed, out of place character possible.
YES
Yyyyyseeeeee
My personal favourite trap suggestion. You allow the players to observe a 31ft long corridor. At the end of this corridor is a corner turn leading to an indestructible, locked door. At the start of the corridor is a trap warning, crushing plates of instant death for anyone who steps into the corridor, but they only trigger 50% of the time. No tricks. No skills or ways out of it. Just a 50/50 chance of death every time you cross the corridor. But what about the locked door you ask? Well, scrawled in black chalk are nordic symbols which correctly translate to "the key is hidden behind the sign." The players are then forced to possibly cross back over just to get the key, then again to unlock the door. Which would then turn out to be a dead end
@@timeenoughatlast3368 And just a cherry, have the germanic runic alphabets be mixed up and all written as bindrunes, to make translation that much more difficult- but in reality the sign has a decorative border that is actually secret instructions in Ogham of how to find a series of buttons in the corridor you have to press in an order, only to do nothing
@@veszimardalath9739 genius inclusion!
I can't imagine the confusion somebody watching with the sound off would've experienced seeing "they killed my wife" keep popping up. This game seems like the best and worst time of someone's life simultaneously
"Please let this be a normal game"
"With Valefisk? No way!"
Magic school's theme begins playing but its earrape.
C R U I S I N O N D O W N M A I N S T R E E T
Cruisin on down pain street
Cruisin' on down pain street
I am not a cru-el man
Next thing that you know, it's...
Everyone go back to start :)
@@DoritosAndMountainDew relaxed and feelin good
At 18:00 - idea for a modification to the game: Make certain negative effects be contagious, so that if someone lands on the same space as another it can get passed to them too.
This would also make the Pain deck get progressively larger as copies of the cards get sent to the discard when removed or replaced, making the game more viable with larger player amounts without removing the "everyone return to start" card from play. Not a bad idea at all.
I love that, even though he is in agony, Vale still commits to the dumb trick questions on the Paradox Quiz Show.
when the "make a defence for anarcho-primitivism" card came up, I was honestly expecting him to just pull up the Unabomber's Manifesto
Ooga booga grug think industrial revolution consequences been disaster to grugan race.
return to monke
Not much of a defense then
"Cocolate" is probably due to bad OCR when scanning a printed document directly to PDF. That is why many legal documents online have spelling errors, they're typically printed out in a serif font like Times New Roman where some of the details are hard to parse by the software.
Because I'm a huge nerd I actually looked up the document. The official one doesn't have the spelling error.
Also the actual recipes are about 1 page long. The rest is a lot of very specific anti-'there ain't no rule' legalese about the quality of the ingredients, the way they want it packaged, and the way they're going to inspect the final product.
Serif fonts would make things _easier_ to parse. Letters look more different from each other.
Just add checkpoints that count as “start” when passed as a way to counter go back to start being drawn so many times, that way you get both the pain of going back to start every hour but you also have a better chance to finish the game before the heat death of the universe 😂
This is keeps hitting harder and harder. I didn't think we were going to get Senator Armstrong from memory that late in the game.
"Nanomachines, son" - Joe Biden
"Tremendously based Joe Biden" is a phrase I never thought I would hear
edit: fixed the quote
I'd unironically like to play this with my friends myself. Maybe with alcohol involved. And me running the game rather than playing.
And, probably even more alcohol.
Play the imposible game he mentions at the begining of the video to get a taste of it
Same
Drink every time you get went back to the start.
I’d say make it yourself so you can tailor the torture to your friends
satan has lost his job to you
“Using shift with your thumb” just unlocked a core memory of mine about some fucking freak in a streamer discord I was in who was convinced that using your keyboard like that was was completely natural and normal, and the dude had like a 4 inch long thumb and thought everyone else was crazy.
Which Shift key?? Did he reach all the way from his mouse to RS, or from WASD to RS?
I have a friend who does that and it drives me up the fucking wall
Mumbo Jumbo?
i also thought mumbo jumbo lol
Thats how I used to use the shift key all the time, since using my pinky was rather uncomfortable
"I am not a cruel man"
- person who made an awful geoguesser tournament
That’s because cruel doesn’t begin to describe them
This is like a Sadist being given the tools to create Calvin Ball and I am *all here for it*
As someone who still has 2048 installed on their phone from when that was popular, and still plays it regularly. That 2048 card is brutal, there are a few strategies for the game but an immense part of it is just luck of where the next number spawns, and all it takes is one bad spawn to end a run.
2048 lore
If you know what you're doing you can get 2048 basically every time. 4096 too, 8192 is alot harder
@@hankglidden1463 yeah idk what this guy is talking about, i can get 2048 probably 80% consistently and when i dont its typically human error
@@suburbanshrub6675 same this was legit like the only 'challenge' i could do without ripping my hair out.... god forbid i get chess cause i don't know how to play my uncle tried teaching me a few times and that went horribly....
it is fairly luck based but as someone who's played it for maybe six years or so, as soon as i got my first 2048 it somehow instantly became easier to me. bad luck can kill a run or at least make it a lot more inconvenient but if you know how to adapt your strategy a little then it's not usually a big deal. imo the worst part about the 2048 card is just that it can take like a good 10 minutes to actually win a game but i guess with how much they were fucking about that isn't too long lmfao
*"I'm not a cruel man"* _Press X to doubt_
Finally a board game that can torture the boys 😂
as he said that the insane monopoly video popped up on the i button, comedic gold I tell you
Raylight
Oh, I heard I'm not a cool man....
I casually heard that line half a second after reading your comment.
*X files music.
Plus tortures the girls (Do 10 push-ups while suffering from a hangover).
Actually the only way to win quickly is to draw the "dementia card" and claim you already won.
Vale : "So now Novel is an Old Man, a Horse, and is speaking in LoTR Quotes" [32:13]
Novel : "At this point can I just be fucking Gandalf, **neigh** :("
_My Asthmatic Lungs were not ready for that..._
It was the Star Wars Shrek car that did me in
"I'm not a cruel man" and other hilarious jokes you can tell to your friends
I love how it didn't matter who won at the end; everyone was just glad it had ended!
That's how you know it's a quality game! 😆
Its a feature shared by only the very best, and very worst games.
32:34 "make a defence for libertarianism in gibberish" is perhaps the best thing I have ever heard
im sick af and i read that as librarian :(
E
I was crying laughing
@@EEEEEEEE E
I'm so curious who was dying laughing during that segment x)
"Go outside and touch grass"
Me who lives in a house where the front and back yards are concrete and bricks and the nearest park is a 30 minute walk away
bro what the hell thats just fucked up
Better get walking.
You need a planter that just has grass growing in it
Sounds like a prison
Get a corn cob and bring it outside. Corn is technically a grass.
Any true cereal grain will do, really.
31:26
Chamber’s ping is 999.
I don’t care what you say, that’s impressive.
I'm just impressed you have friends that would actually be willing to try to play such a game
Not anymore
Seriously, I'd love to i
give this a go, but my friends would 100% quit after like five minutes
I made a board game that was also hell for a middle school project. It was a mix of monopoly and the Oregon trail. It was based off of a book called “a long walk to water” so I appropriately named it “a long game to water”
Lord. Having read that book I can only imagine how bad that would be
I've read that book
What did you make with that?
i can only assume you've killed 3 men by now
10:10 (*casually pulls out redacted CIA documents*)
naming suggestion: the game of purgatory
anyway, please make this puplicly available in the workshop and if you do please add a feature that lets you add your own prompts. that would be so awesome
And if you follow the Pope on Twitter the game gets shorter ;)
@@FaustY2K If you successful run for president of the united states you get to move forward one space
or just: purgatory
The fact I sat here for about an hour watching “ they killed my wife “ is astonishing
24:36
Yeah, that sums up the video.
"In addition to only speaking in Star Wars quotes while Shrek, you need to end every sentence with a car noise."
This guy just took the “ruins friendship” aspect of every board game and made it into a board game
At this point I'm fully convinced Vale is a direct descendant of Marquis de Sade
my money is on Phalaris of acragas
Truly this is just the board game adaptation of 120 days of Sodom
The only person to make his friends choose to live in purgatory (the clown board) instead of exist in the agony that is Vales presence.
Anyone recall that old story about the knight that plays chess with the grim reaper to try and extend his life?
Imagine if the knight pulled this b++++++t out.
Infinite life
Oooooo bullshit spooky
@@kirbywithlegs98
My comments with swearing get hidden by RUclips more often, and little experiments like this show me how often comments are shadow banned.
@@ivorymantis1026 wait is this real? Wtf
@@juliewinchester1488
Try it yourself.
Make a comment where you would normally swear then make a comment where you don't swear.
Big tech has always restricted speech, they can't help it; it's in their nature.
Next video is simply going to be “I tortured my friends” and it’s just Vale forcing his friends to go through SAS training
Serial Attached SCSI
ah, even more push ups
But it only ends when everyone is dead
Also they only get to drink alcohol
25:23
I died laughing, this is such an oddly specific question lol.
The real question is how in the hell you find such amazing military pdfs. I'm putting together my own game inspired by yours to torture my friends, and I can't find any for the life of me.
File a request under the FOIA from either the FBI or cia
r/warthunder
Wikileaks
That's the neat part, you don't!
Also, he made his own military pdfs. He wants to torture people like you, so he made his own.
The easy solution is to make the "everyone goes back to start" card a single-use card
A single use card that is thrown in on the 2nd or 3rd pass of the cards, otherwise it loses its luster.
He should add another deck with single use cards that just have the most cruel punishments possible
27:30 debut of "they killed my wife"
I honestly really like the "You can only speak in movie quotes" cards
PLEASE make this a mod for tabletop simulator, have everything included when you launch it up, as well as a rule book so players aren't confused.
E
It IS a tabletop sim mod thpugh
@@johannesviljoen9656 how is it called?
@@johannesviljoen9656 What is it called in the workshop? I can't find it.
@@johannesviljoen9656 what is it called.
This video remains one of my favourite of all time. Not just of yours, but on the platform. The crown jewel achievement? Well, you know when you show a friend video that you really love or think is funny and 99% of the time they’re like “oh that’s cool I guess” and you both move onto something else without finishing it? I once showed this to a friend who loves tabletop games, being like “it’s past midnight and it’s an hour long we absolutely do not have to finish this I just think you’ll like it” and next thing you know we wound up WATCHING THE ENTIRE THING. And THEN we started the ChatGPT board game video and only stopped because it was about 2am and I still had to drive home. Something something, comment for the algorithm, love what you do.
This feels like an AI generated this game and just had a stack overflow 2 seconds in
9:56 at this moment the game started feeling morr like a SAW movie than a funny pain game
'Im not a cruel man, i will give you the means to find out this question, you have 60 seconds on the timer to discover which CIA document is tue anwser'
"For you see young Skywalker, I have one Gregor samsa buck in my possession."
This gotta be my favorite toture channel, i'm surprised youtube hasn't shut you down yet for war crimes against your friends.
joe?
They keep showing up for more, so it must be their kink
Armstrong?
torture
Grizzy be like: am black
I think playtesting the game on 3(4?) people with a card that sends everyone back to the start and then playing it with like 12 might have been the imbalance here
I love going home and eating some MIL-C-4407C while sipping some MIL-J-35049E with the boys.
"I didn't tell them the rules either"
How to go from Chaotic neutral to chaotic evil in a second
The Clown Board killed me. All relevant, accurate quotes
At 38:17 I took so so so much effort to not explosively spit out the soda from my mouth in laughter
This has showed me that, truly, anyone can make a board game, and has inspired me to start making one myself
It's been a year so, what's it like and can we play it
No, he never finished it. He got bored @@actuallyIDontExist
i'm more of a subtle outbreath kind of laugher but 25:06 "somebody has to save our skins BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" broke me, multiple times
Same, because of the way he says it alongside the fucking car noise at the end is just.... _wheeze_
i rewatch this video a lot, and “ich ben ein turn” makes me YELP I HATE IT
Noticed "WIN" was in quotes. I hope this follows through to your next torture video where the winner gets some special "privilege"
@Dont Check My About Page Link is not important
@@ari1758 *loads ak*
@Dont Check My About Page Link ok, i wont
18:04 "You have presented me with a two pronged road, one leads to hell! And the other one also leads to hell!"
"Choose wisely."
What if instead of removing the "everyone back to start" card after some time, certain spaces were outlined and if you're in one of those you get to stay there?
perhaps the final loop could be fully protected, or maybe all but one, and in general they're sorta like chance checkpoints randomly scattered across the board
you get reset to these chechpoints instead of back to the start
but if that were to happen then i would get rid of that cards entire purpose sure people would go back to start but not everyone like the card says and we gotta follow the rules now trust me its better this way
When she draws the push-up card again, that is the best laugh I've ever heard
You can make the "everyone goes back" card double-faced, so that it only works the first time and then becomes something else.
The side effect here is that everyone knows when it's coming, adding a level of "strategy" to the game lol. The other side of the card could also be something that everyone does, but a bit nerfed
18:52 - I mean that's rather vague, you'll have to be more specific- oh it's a joke card of course, I should have known
33:57 Vale’s gut laugh from that card is golden
I feel like a 4 person test group may not have been an appropriate test for the speed at which a 10 player group would cycle through the pain deck
This is not a complaint