Huge Financial Problem ( Had To Go on a Spending Freeze)
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- Опубликовано: 21 янв 2024
- Huge Financial Problem ( Had To Go on a Spending Freeze)
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Dawn Hunt
2177 Buckingham Road
Number274
Richardson, TX 75081
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Развлечения
When you pay for stuff for your adult children, you are denying them the opportunity to learn to do for themselves.
It actually weakens the young people because they come to depend upon and sometimes EXPECT that mom and dad will pick up the tab for on just about everything. The kids have to grow up and learn to live within their means. One day, mom and dad won't be there to pay for things.
I learned this the hard way.
I'm currently learning this the hard way.
Help me Jesus!
Excellent common sense comment.
It's called a personal problem! As they say in the Army, "Better you than me".
This entire mess doesn't pass the sniff test. Wake up!!!
There comes a time in all our lives that we have to say "NO."
I am part of a Bible study group that gets together for dinner and gifts for everyone's birthday. I have asked the group not to buy me a gift and if they feel really inclined to do so... get me a $5 gift card to a fast food restaurant that I can hand to a homeless person. This i can tell has given pause to a lot of our members. None of us "need" any of the gifts and a lot of us are trying to be frugal so i think this works well so no one spends much.
The concept of taking care of your own four walls as a gift to me is brilliant.
My sister had children early. We were all very helpful. She got a new man- I went to visit and heard him tell my sisters child “I know but Auntie is here and she will buy us lots of groceries.” ….as he opened a bottle of liquor.
People need to be told. I don’t think my example was the same- just that people will continue to accept what you give them even if it hurts you. Who’s really to blame?
I’m glad your friends talked openly!!
Wow.
I had to have a conversation with myself regarding spending money on my adult children, to help them. I could afford it, but realized it wasn’t good for them, to continually bale them out. It occurred to me I was complaining about “this younger generation” but was part of the problem by enabling them.
@tomikotomihewitt657 👍
One of the best quotes I heard about this was about this, sort of. Grandparents were paying for the grandchildren's college education. (Yikes!) The response was that the kids can get a student loan or grant, but no one can get a loan or a grant to fund your retirement. Yeah, you love them, but you do no owe them a college education by putting yourself at the risk of poverty in your retirement to do so.
How about a homemade birthday cake at home? Everyone can bring a small appetizer. Doesn't have to be expensive. Great topic Dawn. Thanks to your friend for sharing her situation.
Great idea!!
I love home made cakes. So much better tasting.
Another thing I need to add is that you can't expect other people to know your financial situation. If you pay for dinners out all of the time, friends and family might assume you are rolling in cash 🤣 Set boundaries!
Yes and have clear communication in text not even verbal. "We're inviting you out" vs. "lets go to this place. It will cost around xx$ per person" or something like that 😂
I am constantly telling my wife's family that we are not rolling in cash. We cannot send cousins and their kids money, just because we're in the States and they're in a poor country. Unfortunately, they think we're being cheap -- they don't understand how expensive life is in the USA.
You are so right
“Tom “ and “sally” did a great job of talking to their family and friends and taking control of their finances … hats of to them !
Great topic. Well said. I started saying at the restaurant table when placing my order “separate checks, please.” That put a quick break on me paying the entire bill.
Dawn, you are right, this is a problem of people pleasing, expectations from family and friends and very poor boundaries , rather than a financial issue.
So very true
I feel this message today. For a long time, I was a people pleaser. But being in a new state and with my husband's work schedule not being what we were promised, we had to tell people that we couldn't afford Christmas this past December. The only person who got 2 small gifts was my stepdaughter. And people were very understanding.
This resonates with me 100%. I have been retired for 2 years now and only have social security. I continued to "help out" with the grandkids by buying used clothing, toys, socks, underwear, trip to McDonald's, etc. I have helped by putting my son and his family on my zoo pass and giving food when they were in dire straights. I CANNOT say that I regret doing any of that especially since my son unexpectedly passed away a couple of months ago. He was finally maturing at age 29, worked hard, and enjoyed buying ME breakfast every week to help offset things I had done. But now that he is gone, BOTH his little girls and their moms are getting social security from him passing away. One of the mom's works hard at her full time job. I just dont have the money myself to help anymore so I have told them I have to stop. There comes a time as you said, that you have to think of your "4 walls" and I am having to do everything I can to make sure that I HAVE 4 walls to live in.
I am sorry to hear about your son.
I am so sorry about the loss of your son.
I didn't have a Christmas,and I likely won't have a birthday in two weeks, either.
Am I sad? Kinda,but if we simply don't have it, whining is unlikely to change the situation.
I told my husband and best friend not to stress about me.
If money is tight, don't focus on me.cover your four walls.
You are amazing
You should make a cake, cupcakes or your fav desert for yourself at home and celebrate. That's what I started doing ❤
Not everyone can think out of the box. Tell your husband that you'd like for him to prepare dinner and clean up for your birthday. He can bake a cake using a mix, or you can bake your own cake. No birthday should pass without a celebration, imho. Just know that you're a gift! 🎁
Rochelle, you are a strong woman! I have often read your comments and thought, “ she knows what she’s talking about!”
Once your kids are grown and capable of taking care of themselves, your priority then becomes about taking care of YOU. Once you start doing that, handling your business, then you can see what, if anything you can do for someone else.
When you do so much for everyone else, you find yourself being taken for granted, and may find yourself in need but no one is standing up to help you. Time to resign from your job as 'Safety net'. Don't let others guilt you from doing what's in your best interest.
I quit being a people pleaser 9 years ago so I could get totally out of debt and save some money before retirement. Now at 64 yrs, with retirement on the horizon, price increases, I see no way to have a simple affordable retirement. As for the people I used to please... I rarely get invites other than a grandchilds' birthday party.
Did you explain to everyone that you needed to scale way back or did you just stop going to get together ? I would stop inviting people if they stopped coming. I would just assume they didn’t want to be around me anymore. I don’t know. Then on the other hand, if someone didn’t tell me why they stopped joining our get togethers, I would call them and ask 😊
@@cjhoward409 I explained very nicely that I was saving for our retirement. It was over time that the invites stopped coming even though I was inviting them to my home for dinners. I don't go places where I am not invited.
I had ungrateful ppl in my life who would ignore everything I've done and given after a while. Had to cut them off. My time and money is spent on me and my children.
@@Saturn57 Exactly. The ungrateful are gone. My children do well and rarely need anything but a babysitter.
You did what you had to do
What can I say, you teach people how to treat you.
Ohhhh, good one!
I needed this
It's property tax month in Texas! January is an expensive month.
My beloved doggie died yesterday. I paid for his final expenses. We are heartbroken. He was almost 13 years old. He was such a love and brought so much joy.
February will be a no spend month for me.
Hugs to you. That’s hard.
Sorry for your loss😢. Mine passed 2 weeks ago at 15.
@@shihtzuluvrtwo6386 I’m sorry.
Aw sorry for your loss 🐾 ❤
I'm so sorry you lost your fur baby. They are a part of the family. I think February is a low spend month for many.
I agree 100% with this topic!! I have been working on this as well…I have to remind myself I need to be responsible with the money God has given to me and still do things for others in other ways..not just monetary gifts.Withthe rising costs of medical and day to day expenses ..it is a necessity to save as much as we can so we will not become a financial burden for our children.The gift of TIME is one of the most valuable gifts you can give to someone !
Love this
This really opened my eyes to money boundaries I need to set. I had to take early "retirement" due to a disablilty and I was totally unprepared, but I am still trying to spend on my adult children the way I always have. This is very timely as my adult daughter and I just had the same discussion . I love the thought that I am actually taking care of them by making sure Im taking care of me. Thank you for sharing. I always get alot from your videos.
I appreciate you
i just wanted to add that both my children have great jobs and dont ask me for anything. I just always feel the need to help. please keep up the great content.
@@elizabethb3658 Now you can help in different ways. Maybe you can babysit, dog-sit, housesit, run a few errands they don't have time to do, pick-up/drop off kids to school, practice, friends house, pop over to their house and make dinner for them, etc. You're still helping your kids just in a different way now.
Thank you , that helps
We, along with other family members, had been helping a sister who always seemed to be on the edge of disaster. We couldn't help one time and her major bailer out died. So you know? She figured it out.
I am a widowed Mom of 2 young adult children. They live with me, have good jobs, are great at saving, spend wisely, and are wonderful to have at home. With rents being so ridiculously high, it's such a waste of money for them to do that now.
Family get togethers are sooooo expensive.... potlucks are my favorite 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
When you keep giving to others it seems the people who are getting just spend more on themselves. It does not seem that the giver is helping them get ahead.
Excellent, excellent advice. I have been in the situation of the 2nd woman. I know this is not uncommon. I really had trouble learning to say, "No." It got ugly. I never heard from them, unless they wanted something.
You are a sweetheart
Learning to create boundaries, and a simple word....NO.
This is speaking to me. I am having to cut way back on this sort of thing and it is hard. It makes me feel guilty although I know it shouldn’t. Thanks for the encouragement. Especially what you said at the end. You are so right. My friends and family do want me to be safe and taken care of. Remembering that is going to really help me! Thank you.
This is a great pep talk for "adulting".
Call a family meeting with adult children and set a budget.
Wow. This so relatable. I have problems because my husband is the one who always picks up the tab. We are retired and doing well but all of the extras does make it hard to save
Excellent video. I am that grandma! We've already started to reel in the expectations with a Secret Santa gift exchange at Christmas with all of the adult children and their spouses and us...a total of 9 adults; each gives one gift and gets one gift at $35. It's been such a pressure relief.
Some relatives who have good jobs think “oh but I want to…”. They don’t realize that they are causing those who can’t “keep up” to back away. We had this in our family, they only think about their situation, not how the others are struggling.
true
You are the friend every woman/girl needs in her life. So real and true. Never change Dawn❤
How kind of you
The people who take take take are not going to make any contributions to your fund deficits in retirement!
Charity starts in the home. For this couple, that is the 2 of them, not extended family and friends.
I cut back on gift giving to family. Just children under the age of 18.
Communication is the KEY. Letting people know what are the facts. Everyone will understand or they are not friends. Good
I agree
My friends and family knows we don’t eat out except a Costco pizza every month to 6 weeks. They would never imagine asking us to meet up at a restaurant and expect us to pick up the bill. Invite family over for dinner instead of meeting at restaurants.
I looked at my budget, since I help my older son who lives with me. He has been paying rent to me since 2005. I provide transportation, food and utilities and a roof over our heads. It seems like some of my appliances that I have maintained are starting to stop working. I still have my gardening business and that helps too. I decided to increase my son's rent and he is fine with this arrangement. He has a pretty good deal with me and living with me. I so enjoy his company.
That is what I recommend, charge your adult children rent and make sure you include some of the utilities that help support your cause.
My son lives at home, works 12 hours a day, pays the internet, buys food and even cooks. He is always willing to help out around the house. It is an amicable situation.
Sounds like a good situation for both of you.
Tell my mother in law that.
I'm glad your arrangement works for both of you. 😊
Thank you@@3TXSisters
Extremely difficult, but Tom and Sally need to put themselves first! My three adult children make more than I do. Two of them 'get it' the third is clueless.
People pleasing you nailed it
Great topic I can totally relate to this 👍❤
Thanks for watching!
These people are adults and not children. The parents needed to set boundaries years ago. Sally is very late in the learning curve.
This post is helpful for me, I’ve always been a giver and people pleaser.
Thanks much
Excellent! Yes, it definitely gets out of hand, several times I’ve bailed out one of my nieces, the last time she called me ( for $500) I told her I was sorry but I just didn’t have it( she and her sister have very good jobs but neither can handle money ☹️) also I normally buy Christmas gifts for all of them, this year I provided a home cooked meal and a nice gift for my 6 yr old great nephew, we cannot continue to go by what everyone else’s expectations are, excellent video.
Good for you! Someone who's continually in need isn't trying to get out of debt or live within their means, imho.
I know someone who came into a little bit of money and their siblings came to them like they were best buddies. They expected them to pay for this and that and give some for spending. This person finally put a stop to it as this they said to their siblings "I can't help you anymore. This is my money not yours." The siblings weren't too happy, but this person is right.
Nothing destroys a family faster than an inheritance 💰
I have heard this
Hello MM and community. I highly recommend a book I read last year "Give and Take". It teaches how to be a smart giver; i.e. know when, who and how to give. Some ppl are takers and they become entitled if boundaries are not set.
Some of the best advice you have given Dawn is to "shop your own house." It's a great way to feel like you are shopping without spending and see and use what you already have. Another thing is that people do not learn when they are leaning too much on others.
Thank you much
Can you imagine how this is going to impact the business community and the prices of everything everywhere?
Thanks for this vid. Very eye opening.
It's very important! Thank you. Love you too.😊
You are so welcome!
That's right. They have to learn to say NO!! They give in to much....to their grandkids.....and her kids as well. They have to start to learn to say NO to their kids when going out anymore....😊That is good that they decided to say We will pay for their own meals as well....😊
What your friend did was a good example of when I say the first thing you pay is attention. Paying attention to spending was the #1 thing along with maintaining accurate accounting records that got me out of debt almost thirty years ago.
Excellent!
Dawn you are an inspiration! Another great video
Thank you so much!
No pressure at all. We all pay our own way.
Love it
This is a very relatable topic. Thank you for bringing it up.
Glad you enjoyed it!
In addition to “people pleasing,” overspending under the guise of “being nice and generous to others” could be a convenient cover for a shopping addiction. Simply identifying and reeling in the spending on 1/2 the problem may not be the total solution to the problem going forward. It was a good first step to have her document where the money was going and to notify friends & family the bucks stop here & now……but now she needs to set a budget and a plan for saving & investing the money.
Wow, great insight, I hadn’t considered that!
We had to say No to a sibling this week. It’s hard, especially if it’s your kids though. I would prioritize things myself. Like you shouldn’t foot the bill for dinners and stuff. Though you have to speak up and let them know. I would rather have the money to make sure they aren’t riding on thinning tires though. As long as they aren’t taking advantage of our generosity. I told my son and daughter-in-law that if he ever needed anything, I would rather he called me than a loan company. If memory serves me right, he has only called once and it was when they needed a little more money to get an inspection done on a house. Turned out to be a house with huge problems so I’m thankful that he found out and didn’t buy it.
That makes so much sense
There are a lot of people who are doormats for others out there or as some people call them "people pleasers". There needs to be changes made for sure.
True!
@@3TXSisters 👍
Even though as parents with grown children we want to help them out, I feel that it is better for them to come up with their own solutions. How I have dealt with these issues. Family get together, everyone contributes. I’m big on potluck. I set a budget per person/ family for gifts. For example, $20-25…then I shop clearance. Last year, I got my teenage granddaughters each dresses worth $90 for $19. Birthdays don’t have to be an entire meal. We always had dinner at home and the household celebrating a birthday had the other over for cake and ice cream for dessert. I only exchange a token gift at Christmas with friends. For example, we can do a sock, ornament, or chocolate, nail polish/beauty/ cookie exchange for under $5. I don’t fall for the needy family pulling at my heart strings to offer help. If you offer to help without them asking for it then it is a gift, if they ask then you can set terms of repayment. Read that again. If someone is being manipulative or pushy, I simply say my money is tied up in investments…which is the truth. Hope this is helpful.
I love that idea!
Love how she is able to set boundaries that work for her household now and everyone is accepting. By paying for everything a parent can shortchange next generations to learn of the value of money. I have a very different budget as a single person with mortgage than my family with paid off houses or multiple earners so I don't gather for all the restaurants and trips, just the stuff I can do.
This really hits home for me. 😮 gotta make some changes.
Same here
A huge problem I used to have was trying to be a people pleaser. I would buy gifts for my family all the time. My wake up call came when I didn’t have money for rainy days.
That makes sense
That’s too much, what they gonna do when your no longer around and cannot bail them out, you’re not doing them any favors, people will always take advantage of you if you let them
This is my story. I had to do the same thing my kids and grandkids.
We take care of ourselves now, nothing more. It was hard and we’re paying the price for it now. We could have a lot more saved.
Thanks for bringing it up. Love 💕 and Hugs. ❤❤❤
Love that!
We had to change our family dynamic due to excessive "treating" of our kids and their families. Now, it's potluck dinners for any and all occasions, a stated dollar limit for gifts, otherwise they have to pay for themselves when dining out, etc. It wasn't helping any of us financially as we were enabling a lifestyle for them while curtailing our own savings in retirement. As for the regular dining out with friends--there is nothing wrong with meeting up at one of the houses for coffee, tea, and donut, cookie, etc.
Very good!
Love your commentary on this topic. I’m unlearning negative ways of handling my finances, and showing my love and appreciation to family , friends and even strangers( I can be overly generous during holiday season.. to a fault ) . I have been a People pleaser because I want to see EVERYONE happy. It’s no longer working because I’m stressed financially , emotionally and unhappy. Thank you for your down to earth … very truthful information. Making changes is hard but necessary. It really hurts , because I’m a giver … but I’m learning . Slowly , but I’m learning. Thank you …
You are a sweetheart
Well I reduced all these contributions and participation as the river only flowed downstream.
i know a woman who lives extremely frugally, does not even keep a car and imposes on others to drive her to and from work and foodstores and malls. When we went to lunch I had to drive her around, pay for the lunch. But she goes on lavish vacations every year, and when she went to Dubai, she said she had a gift for me , so we could go to lunch. She gave me a wooden spaghetti turner, the most expensive in the world because i had to pay for the lunch and drive her around. So, no more.
In a place where I worked years ago, they used to take up collections when someone's relatives died and i used to contribute. When my mother died, i incurred in nearly three thousand dollars travel expenses and they did not even buy me a condolence card. The president of the organization gave me a personal printed condolence card. I never responded to any further such requests.
I just pay for my own bills, adn I make donationsto the animal shelter that keeps a thrift shop. That is it, as I see that the money goes to the animal and not to any big fat salaries.
Wow. I am sorry she took advantage of you.
I know the feeling - My husband and I did the same thing. It took a lot of courage to bring it all to an end.
I'm glad it worked out for you.
Super advice - Thanks a lot Dawn!
Glad it was helpful!
We cut out Christmas gifts and birthday gifts last year for everybody even us, we are done wasting money and fueling capitalism and greed.
As I've said since day one of this channel.
NO. It is a complete sentence.
Owes zero explanation.
Nobody is going to bail you out.
Being nice doesn't help you,a lot of the time.
People take advantage.
I agree with you. Eventhough I'm older, I'm learning how to be more open and honest about my finance and living within my means. I see that complaining and stressing does not work for me.
Your friend should have no guilt. Enough is enough. She and her husband need to protect their future. Another thing is some of our adult children make a lot more money than the parents. I have a friend that gives, gives, gives and her adult children will pool their money for a two hundred dollar gift for her. Those kids make hundreds of thousands of dollars each year. She makes less than forty thousand.
I agree
Yeah for Sally! Way to go girl!
You are such a smart lady!❤😊
so are you
It's Sally's choice to pay for everything. It's her life, her finances and it doesn't matter what people think. She's worried about disappointing her children but she needs to say no. Perhaps when they do get tabs picked up and presents bought they will be more appreciative if it's not always a given that Sally will pay.
Good for them!!
Agree 💯
This really resonated with me. Thanks for sharing
You are so welcome
This person's situation sounds like mine.
Oh, this sounds so familiar! Apparently, my new name is Sally😂😂 Well, we do have an emergency fund, Savings and retirement. I'm so proud of her for stopping the free flow! Confession: We spent $1100 on our nephew's birthday a couple of years ago. It gets out of hand really quick. That said my kids never expected anything, it was ME. I'm naturally a giver. When I quit working we couldn't do it at that level anymore. When I told them I could no longer keep this up, they all said they are grown up and don't need it anyway. They have always offered to pay for our dinner or split the bill. Alot of times they would just take us out to dinner. Anyway, it's a hard thing to stop and you do feel guilt for awhile.
I am the same way
This is so hard for me! I wanted to cut back this Christmas because we had some unusual expenses and are going to have more this year. The medications my husband is on have some side effects that have slightly changed his sensitivities. He became emotional about Christmas and that it was important to him. I realize that this is, hopefully, a short time problem. But, I dread bringing it up. It may not be a problem after my husband's treatment is complete, but this is the only place I can vent, lol. Thank you for listening. In the scheme of things, this is a small problem. Love to all, Linda 💕
I totally understand
I wish that there was a way for me to send a screenshot of this information..
She made a great stride in having honest conversations with her friend and her children. It might be a good idea for her to budget all those expenditures moving forward. For instance, a category for gifts, one for dining out, etc. I found that budgeting every penny helps me tremendously. What about spending money? That's in the budget, too. I give myself so much a month that I can spend however I want without guilt. If I want a pricier item, I might have to save for several months. Don't forget about House. A certain amount gets set aside every month because "things come up". Thanks for another great topic, Dawn! ❤
Thanks for doing this, I decided to set boundaries recently and some didn’t like it but I figure if they are not ok with it it’s their problem not mine
I agree
Holiday meal: meatless spaghetti with onion and garlic
We just do gifts for our kids and grandkids…
It can be hard to say no but in a family, it can be necessary from time to time OR make it a LOAN with interest and set realistic goals for paying it back...and it is ok to say no!
I make a lot more money than I used to but I never show it of tell anyone. So no one expects too much from me.
I told my adult kids I wasn't going crazy at Christmas and of course they were fine with it. My gifts from them got bigger. I guess it got them thinking. In all fairness, they never expected anything . It was all me.
She hasn't learned how to say "no". She needs to tell everyone, I'm not picking up the tab anymore. You don't even need to give them an explanation. If they insist on an answer, tell them that you need to save more for retirement so they have enough to take care of themselves without asking for help. It's ok to say "no". In fact, I think it is imperative that everyone learn to set boundaries and say no. I just had an issue where I was driving a neighbor I really didn't know very well to chemo and radiation appointments. She reached out to me. She also had a husband. I said "Sure, I can help you with that". I was happy to do it. Well she got over the cancer, but then other illnesses/surgeries happened and finally after 3 years, I had to tell her that since she was well after the 3 situations that it was time for me to get back to my life. She had grown so dependent on me that it was not what I wanted to be part of anymore. I know this isn't about money, but it is about setting boundaries and saying "no". I had a very hard time saying "no" to her in her hours of need. But push came to shove and I finally had to put on my big girl panties and address the situation. It unfortunately hurt her and she got mad and I just had to suck it up and wish her well.
I'm sorry she didn't appreciate what you did for her.
@@3TXSisters She appreciated it. But she had a lot of issues and it became too much. I had to step away.
@9liveslisa. Well done. It's incredibly important to set boundaries. I had to learn that very important lesson in life too. It can be really difficult when you first say "No" ... but it has to be done; and then you learn to protect your time, energy, money better in the future too.
Spending to impress can be very expensive. Spending money that you don't have will always catch up to you eventually. It is critically important to save 10-15% or your income for your entire working life. Living beyond your means while you are working usually leads to living in poverty after you retire.
When you give (money) without taking care of your needs first, everybody will call you "generous". Aww, and isn't that wonderful. So get over it. Instead, be smart and share your money smarts with your family. Live within your means so you have no need to take loans with interest (credit cards). Leave those for emergencies only. Be generous with your experiences and knowledge. Years ago we would have to take books from library to further our learning but today we have the internet and wonderful people on YT❣️
Love this
This was the best video ever ! Thx, Money Mom !!!!
I love you
I wish you would have made this video about 15 yrs ago ! This is our situation too !!! I can’t tell you how much we appreciate this . Your words of encouragement have helped our guilt big time !🥰
Thank you so much for this topic, thank god my daughter has a top job and she always spoil me , take care dawn , much luv ❤
You are so welcome
Sounds like your friend waited way to long to set some healthy financial boundaries. Better late than never....took me way too long too.
"Sally" has allowed herself to be a doormat. So glad she's cutting back now. I understand it, but she doesn't need to feel guilty.
I agree
Hi Dawn, my husband and I have decided to cut down our Christmas expenses in future. We have been buying for an extended family that has expanded over the years, and it has become so expensive.
I feel relieved that we have made this decision.
You are right. It is down to people pleasing and has become an expensive habit.
That's great!
Wonderful!
She needs to stop being mom and let her adult kids grow up! It is okay to be responsible for yourself and let others be responsible for themselves.
I have only watchedto ar your channel a handful of time but what your saying is so true. we many times in our own minds feel like we do not disappoint someone in the family or we just step in to pay for things we should not. I think what your saying is true we have to be more prepared because nothing in life is for certain. We in our family decided this next Christmas to draw names. That makes a big difference. Also when it come to grandkids our daughters husband parents live in town like we do and so the kids get a lot of stuff. So I think cutting back on that really helps too. I mean how many toys do kids need. Most kids have way to many toys. The hard thing i think is in society it just become the norm for us to be pack rats and have a ton of stuff get our kids a ton of stuff and that does not teach them anything. We have to learn at times to say no to ourselves and sometimes we have to say no to others too. It is not easy but honestly as we get older we have to think about providing for ourselves because if we dont then that is left on someone else . No one likes to have to take care of someone financially when they are older because they did not prepare when they were younger and could. Thanks for sharing this story.
I think drawing names is great!