From my experience...Jesus Christ Has given me closure throughout life with nefarious dogs. He gives peace like no other. When I'm done.. I'm done now. Knowing I have given my best..and it's not good enough..what more is there to say? It surely won't fix what was done. Forgive... LET GO and F them.(forget that is)
Adrienne, That was a very wise comment. I believe you do end up delaying the healing process when you are waiting for someone to take responsibility for the hurt they caused you.
@@Amanda-be7eq just continue to apologize once a year for 5 years. They forgive yourself as you were young and stupid and vow never to do this to another individual. The best apologize is changed behavior
She also had a friend come out and tell stories about her… I can’t remember what the gossip was about but I remember the friend was telling intimate details about their relationship and how it ended badly.
@@onika22maraj I think that’s different from what she was saying. I understand this quote as as soon as they did something wrong, move on you don’t need anything from that person. That was the good bye. To me, Garcelle was saying talk to the person AFTER what happened whether you hear what you wanted or not.
I think loni was trying to say that there is a difference between public vs private closure. Like jeannie is not going to have a relationship with her abuser, there will always be some animosity there. But loni and tamar should be able to publicly move on and be cordial. It kinda made sense, but it came off very harsh
No not really Adrienne hides a lot of emotion she always acts hard and as if nothing phases her. When you in past events she done wrong, she like it’s an incident that happened okay. No should never let someone have an emotional pull on her spirit but letting it out and checkin in with yourself you actually begin to heal.
Loni is so dismissive and that pisses me off. What Jeannie said was a form of closure in her own life and I'm shocked that Jeannie didn't check her for her rude dismissive attitude towards her!!! Loni is being so insensitive. I totally understand where Jeannie was coming from on what she stated.
Exactly, by Loni being too focused on her own perspective of what closure is she cut off Jeannie forgetting that this is a group discussion with differing views and different types of closure. I completely understood where Jeannie was coming from and I wanted to hear more of her experience and the closure she got as I have had a similar experience.
@@beautyallaround_ I'm sorry that you had to go through that, whatever your experience may have been. I think Loni needs to remember that ALL perspectives are important for this very reason.
Yes!! Loni can talk about what she thinks is closure and Jeannie can talk about what she thinks!! Why the hell is she shutting others down and interrupting other people’s thoughts? Someone could have benefitted from Jeannie’s full explanation on what she experienced in her life
My coworkers are dismissive towards me. She might just be used to it. The old girls say " It is what it is," to absolutely everything. Now when they say something or complain or vent, they expect to be heard. But if YOU say it, it's "it IS what it is
@@sunnym2458 ikr this was a discussion of all their differing/similar perspectives of what closure is to them. I also understood where Jeannie was coming from as I have had a similar experience.
I don’t agree with Loni for other Jeannie and making it sound as if she went off topic. Her experience fit with the topic. I understand though it still is a subject that makes the majority of people uncomfortable and to be on the opposite site in opinions she got defensive. I love Loni and Jeannie. Just observing what happened and pointing it out because it’s an opportunity to learn.
@Lipstick Nista I know exactly what she's talking about. Doesn't change the fact that she was dismissive of Jeannie's personal situation with her mom so......
Adrienne is talking about something like cheating or betrayal, which will not make sense and the person will not say something that makes it all ok. They may not even be emotionally intelligent enough to give you an explanation, so no use in trying to get closure from them. Garcelle and loni are talking about other instances where there might have been different perspectives and something the person says may help you move on and put a period to the situation.
@Cchela07 Exactly, this was a discussion of closure as a whole and that can come from all types of hurt. Loni dismissing Jeannie and cutting her off like that was insensitive. Everyone is supposed to have a chance to bring their own perspective and Loni being to focused on her own caused her to be disrespectful, smh.
Garcelle came through at the end.. completely shifted my thinking. So true. Closure is not a hard-rock concept. Some people really do seek closure but they don't feel worse later like Adrienne mentioned because to THEM closure is whatever they got. And that's actually a powerfull skill... be able to close something FOR YOU regardless of how that conversation went
Adrienne is thinking of closure as simply “you apologize to me” (seeking from someone else)... but that’s not always it. Meanwhile, Jeannie explained her getting a form of closure right after saying she agrees with A. Closure can be YOU explaining why you felt wronged (aka Jeannie talking to her mom with or without a response for HER self-healing journey)
I'm with Adrienne. Knowing the "why" doesn't help at all for me (if the person is even honest about the why, which you would never really know). Make like Elsa and go to your castle and let it gooooo!
I totally agree with Adrienne. Some people will never give you the answers you’re seeking for closure. You have to be able to heal yourself. And loni is definitely referring to Tamar 😕
Y'all are reading into it. Adrienne was simply adding context to her question after Garcelle gave a short answer of "yes and no" and then Garcelle finished answering the question based on the context that Adrienne gave. It was a regular conversation. Low key I think she was afraid that Garcelle was gonna end with that awkward answer so she had to think fast and add the context before time ran out. Notice everyone's eyes keep looking down on to their desk at the end because somebody is signaling them to wrap up the conversation fast.
This weird vibe with Loni is getting awkward and hard to watch. She really seems angry at Jeanie and it makes these conversations a little uncomfortable. Lately it’s seems like it’s Jeanie/Adrienne vs Loni/Garcelle. I understand they are similar in age and it affects perspectives but I would like to see all the ladies listen to each other’s opinions respectfully, and let each other finish talking. When Tam was on the show, it seemed like more of an open table. Now it seems like if you don’t agree I have an attitude.
Closure depends on the person you want it from. To be honest sometimes parents and siblings you need to talk it through. But for friends that have been horrible or relationship I don’t care
No, I've had those types of closure conversations and honestly, they haven't helped. I'm hurt because the person did x, y, z, them apologizing isn't going to fix it. The only thing that will fix it is changed behavior. Adrienne is 100% correct. I am responsible for healing myself and providing myself with closure. Like if it's a relationship I want to continue I will look for closure to dead an issue, but if we are going our separate ways then I just need to heal myself.
Adrienne came with the truth and I totally agree again I do understand Loni and Garcelle too. At the end of the day, just do whatever makes you feel at peace with yourself🤷🏾♀️💜💜💜
Closure is overrated. Depending on the situation. All the closure you need is realizing the person does not want you in their life, because they've either left you or cheated etc. Their actions are closure.
Ultimately it is up to you to do the healing but it is important for people to know what happened. If your husband left in the middle of the night didn't say anything to you. Most want to know why they decided to do that. Closure is not overrated sometimes it can help you understand how you contribute to the relationship ending. This way you can do better in your next relationship. The only time does not apply and their actions speak is when there was never an established relationship to begin with.
@@sunkistbabe I agree partially. It depends on the relationship. I would understand a person more "heavily involved" needing to give answers and more closure as the nature of the relationship changes after marriage. However they spoke of relationships in the clip. I truly feel that spouses generally give more closure as they're held more / legally accountable. But in relationships it's kinda different.
The willingness to give closure is a sign of respect in any relationship. We don't always get it, and I've had to heal on my own without it in several cases, but it's a sign of respect for the opposite party.
I feel like loni really has issues letting others have the spotlight Like dang loni Jennie was talking about some deep stuff you don’t cut someone off like that!
I kind of agree with Adrienne. I don't think I have ever felt better after getting closure. I always tell myself I wish that I could have told my dad that I loved him before he passed away but I really don't think that me knowing that he knew I loved him would have made his passing any easier on me. Pain is pain. We are going to feel it in any situation that hurts and it really can't be avoided. I do think that closure is helpful for people who felt like they did something wrong, so as to make it "right" somehow, but it's very rarely helpful for the person on the receiving end of the explanation.
One thing i can totally agree with Loni. In the relationship i don’t need closure because if i said i am done that means i have been done long time ago and i already know whats wrong. But in friendships and other relationships closure is needed
My opinion is it depends on the relationship, friendship or person because sometimes talking back with someone could add more drama or fire to the situation. Like there are people I will never talk to again and it was people I once wanted to have a conversation with but I know it's best not too.
I honestly don’t think it’s overrated but we need to learn to be ok with it if we don’t get it and coming from someone who have been divorce and didn’t get the closure I thought I deserve but I get what the ladies are saying !!!!
I agree with Adrienne and Jeanie. You can not give someone else the power to give you peace. That is temporary and you will always seek it from an outside source. I commend Jeanie for being so transparent, strong and wise regarding the sexual abuse she endured as a child. If you can provide yourself closure through something like that, the smaller things that Loni is talking about, you can get through that too.
I definitely agree that closure is overrated. Whatever happened-happened so I like to just be done with it and move on with my life. I don't think you need to give anyone that kind of power over your life (that is, waiting for them to give your closure by apologizing or explaining..., just move on). Sometimes I'll forget that that person even existed unless his/her name is brought up in a conversation or something like that.
Seeking closure can high key hurt sometimes. When someone treats me badly, I like to assume they had a good reason/it wasn’t what I thought. But sometimes...there is no good reason or they simply do not care about you.
To me closure is not perse coming to an understanding, but explaining your part of the story and end it right there, leaving the situation without regret
@@gordia4259 right lol. Like it’s so awkward watching this. Idling Loni still feeling a type of way about the wedding because this video is giving very much “you better be lucky I’m not trying to lose my job” 😂
Yes I’m not a fan of the concept of closure, because it gives your power of Self to others. I’ve never needed an apology to forgive or the acceptance of my apology to forgive myself. There are people who allow themselves to remain in pain because this expectation of closure being provided outside of themselves .... for example some adopted individuals or individual who had emotional wounds caused by lost love ones may look outward. Having a convo can be very healing, but that does not make it necessary or required to heal any emotional trauma ... it’s just easier for the mind that tells itself it is needed. FYI... the desire to save or mend a relationship is different from healing from emotional pain, but personal healing may be needed before mending a relationship with another.
Adrienne I agree with you 1000%! I don’t need a WHY? Garcelle, I love you my sister from another mother but while you’re trying to figure out the why,; that WHY you’re looking for or seeking, can be a LIE. People nowadays will tell you exactly what you want to hear just to shut you up. What’s done is done. Work on YOU! Heal YOURSELF! Consider it LESSON LEARNED. There’s nothing you can do to change what happened to you. Ask god to give you the strength, wisdom and courage to get through it while continuing to live, laugh and love life.
A lot of ppl commenting are basing it on if they were wronged, but say the roles were reversed and you wronged someone. Would you want the opportunity to have some type of reconciliation to the relationship?
If they were someone close or important to me at one point then yeah as far as a convo, may be hard or take some time but if I was wrong and wanted to just seal it up, that is if I haven’t already told you, then yeah I’d want to talk and apologize but doesn’t mean I want nor need you back. An apology doesn’t always mean a ticket back into someone’s life, like G said just a knowing why would be substantial 👍🏼
Of course! Pride is a bitch but I will have to get past it because I consider myself a responsible adult. I'm a realistic now and I've learnt that such is life and growth includes the unpretty things too.
I would definitely like the opportunity to ask for forgiveness, I actually care a lot more about that than about someone saying sorry to me (if the case is that they aren’t a part of my life anymore, if they were still a part of my life then maybe I would want an apology for something) but yeah tbh I’d chase someone for the opportunity to apologise to them if I know I’ve done something wrong! I don’t want them carrying that with them
Closure is needed. You may not get it, but it can solve years of heartache and resentment if you can get it. People in this life are wicked (even on purpose) if closure can squeeze out the poison in another person - do it.
I did this with a friendship once that had ended badly. I kinda fished for an answer as to why they acted a certain way by starting out with my own apology and the other person just acted like they never did anything wrong at all. I didn't realize that the reason I was apologizing was that I just needed to hear what was going on in their head... but realized it later. Anyway, seeing that they didn't see any fault in their very bad behavior, that was closure enough for me.
If you’re downtrodden and hurt about what you did to me or how you treated me from way back when please don’t reach out -- keep that to yourself. I don’t want to be brought back to that time and place in my mind. I’ve made my peace with what went down and you should too
Girl chat... is not the same. I definitely do not blame the virtual aspect ... The spark within the 3 OG's has left the building... Quite frankly, me duele watching my OG's.....
I learned that I don’t need closer especially when the person keeps bringing up the issues like where is the closer if it keeps coming up so I just learned to move on and not talk about it .
I think those who want closure have low self esteem or are in denial. If you know you’ve done nothing wrong and the relationship ended then you should be completely fine to move on. Clearly he/she was not the one.
Loni is so different now, right? I used to love Loni love and I still have love for her but she is so different now and it’s cringy. I’m with Ade here! A liar is a liar is a liar and some people are just evil and will not be honest or give you the closure simply because it’s what you want. That conversation Loni wants won’t happen and just like garcelle she will be seeking for that closure for the rest of forever because they aren’t hearing Adriennes message, that you cannot expect someone else to provide the healing for you! Learning to move on is one of the hardest things and Jeannie understood what the point was and that’s the message I wish they would have talked about more. You don’t need closure from anyone else. Use that energy on healing and finding yourself through the mess.
Loni is being such a snowflake. Her reputation took a bit of a knock but Tamar lost her livelihood, which is far worse. I don't know if Loni really had a hand in Tamer getting fired but I think she at least said something about Tamar in the presence of her writer and hairdresser that makes them believe she did. I don't believe they made this story up from nowhere.
It depends when people hurt you physically and the verbal abuse, it's just better not to see that person again (basically there dead to me) I dont need them to apologise anymore as I've heard that plenty of times when they said they would not lay a hand on me ever again, I'm learning to love myself again
I agree with A 100% they did what they did cause they wanted to do it. That's it, move on. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
I broke up with someone on mutual terms, but 9 months later they contacted me and asked for a conversation where they could talk everything out and apologise...I was more than happy to give that to them, because if I seek forgiveness from God then I should be able to forgive others. Also, I personally was happy to see them regain their peace of mind so they could move on with their life just like I already had
Wanting closure is not a sign of weakness. It takes a lot to face someone who did you wrong or to admit wrongdoings... I do believe we first need to work on ourselves before looking for that conversation and sometimes we just need closure because we need to learn how to treat people, if both aren't receptive then distant yourselves with respect
I totally agree with Garcel and Loni!! 👏🏼 Adriane and Jennie aren’t really getting them. I mean I see where they’re coming from and the whole healing yourself yeah of course you do and you’re the only person that can! but sometimes we do need some type of closure aka conversation! just to know why. Like they said it all depends on how close you were to the person and I’m big on friendships! so I think it should be necessary, at least an honest truth on why they did what they did, I can totally accept and respect that no matter what their reason was no matter how stupid I might think it is as long as it’s the TRUTH! It sucks and not a very good feeling to just do someone like that. Even if the person may have been wrong at least let them know to correct it. And if they don’t get it well then that’s on them. But I think closure is needed sometimes. And as far as relationships well that’s different. That one I can take or leave it like loni had said it really depends how long we were together, but nothing serious then whatever. But family and friends mean more to me than that. Thank you ladies I really needed to see this today 🙌🏼
I understand where Garcelle is getting at. But you don't always get the closure/sincere apology you deserve. Waiting on that person only makes you stuck in a mental prison. It's best for you to take the steps to move on, cause it is a process. I'm with Adrienne and Jeannie on this one.
Closure is something i struggle with... I feel like they need to take accountability. And i know thats so wrong to have that mindset. But thats one of my biggest struggles. Idc if they say sorry i just need them to admit what they did. Crazy i know. The struggle is real.
Disagree with Adrienne, closure helps you learn from a situation that you can carry to your next relationship, even if it was the other person's fault. A silver lining of breakups is learning from them, and refusing closure is limiting how much you learn
Adrienne isn’t refusing closure, she is saying that it is not necessary. If a person decides to offer an explanation, that’s great, but Adrienne is saying you shouldn’t go looking for that or even expect that will occur. Your healing does take a backseat if the person that wronged you decides to never give you that closure. One should not have their emotional healing be determined by whether they get closure from a person that they have zero control over.
"Closure comes from communication" what if the communication never happens, then what? What I conclude is if you wait for any changes to an unpleasant experience this may not happen. Healing happens when you (conscious decision) decide to move on and forgive for the sake of peacemaking without anyone else's permission. Things sometimes happen not cause people are wicked or you are deserving, can be just human error. I think forgiving yourself can make be an eye opener to a clear vantage point
closure means a person lack control and power. they need anther person to give them their emotions back so they can feel better about themselves in order to move on. its more like a selfish act to feel better about themselves
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Is closure overrated?
@@QueenHayati grow up women, get laid and you’ll be fine. I’m sure he has been with many women
I agree with Adrienne
From my experience...Jesus Christ Has given me closure throughout life with nefarious dogs.
He gives peace like no other.
When I'm done.. I'm done now. Knowing I have given my best..and it's not good enough..what more is there to say? It surely won't fix what was done.
Forgive... LET GO and F them.(forget that is)
Write it on a piece of paper and release that hurt to the wind
I agree....closure is not a good idea..because you may hear the things you didnt want to know..just move on
Adrienne, That was a very wise comment. I believe you do end up delaying the healing process when you are waiting for someone to take responsibility for the hurt they caused you.
Love this!
4EverArista I love what you said
@Mimi the Hippie Yeah this is very true. And I guess it does tie in with what Adrienne is saying. Thank you so much btw❤❤
So true. Delay they healing process for someone who won't take responsibility
@@Amanda-be7eq just continue to apologize once a year for 5 years. They forgive yourself as you were young and stupid and vow never to do this to another individual. The best apologize is changed behavior
So true Adrienne. Don’t give anyone that kind of power over your life, your healing and your strength.
I feel like Loni is talking about Tamar and she’s still hurt.
Yep.
We all know she was😂 they do too.
She definitely is!
She also had a friend come out and tell stories about her… I can’t remember what the gossip was about but I remember the friend was telling intimate details about their relationship and how it ended badly.
Nah she’s way over that. She doesn’t care. She’s talking about her old assistant who came out with nasty stories about her last year.
I recently saw an Instagram post that said: "the disrespect is the closure".
Onwards and upwards ✌🏾
that's what garcelle said but they don't let her talk Hlolzzz
@@onika22maraj I think that’s different from what she was saying. I understand this quote as as soon as they did something wrong, move on you don’t need anything from that person. That was the good bye. To me, Garcelle was saying talk to the person AFTER what happened whether you hear what you wanted or not.
I have realised lately Garcelle and Loni always back each other up and Adrienne and Jeanie do the same
They are in similar places in their lives, it affects their perspective. I don't think they're doing it intentionally.
@@lantanarh yep, i think its a millennial thing with jeannie and ade, they shared the same upbringing culture and era wise
It’s an age thing
Loni is definitely projecting, because Jeannie had a nice anecdote and it was shut down lol
I think Loni was referring to the issue with Tamar, being that it was so public and she bashed her character.
Yep facts. As soon as she said publicly I thought about the situation
I think loni was trying to say that there is a difference between public vs private closure. Like jeannie is not going to have a relationship with her abuser, there will always be some animosity there. But loni and tamar should be able to publicly move on and be cordial. It kinda made sense, but it came off very harsh
@@faithfo7255 I agree, that's why I figured she was referring to the Tamar situation. It could've been handled correctly.
👏👏👏👏
Adrienne is spot on on this
No not really Adrienne hides a lot of emotion she always acts hard and as if nothing phases her. When you in past events she done wrong, she like it’s an incident that happened okay. No should never let someone have an emotional pull on her spirit but letting it out and checkin in with yourself you actually begin to heal.
Loni is so dismissive and that pisses me off. What Jeannie said was a form of closure in her own life and I'm shocked that Jeannie didn't check her for her rude dismissive attitude towards her!!! Loni is being so insensitive. I totally understand where Jeannie was coming from on what she stated.
Exactly, by Loni being too focused on her own perspective of what closure is she cut off Jeannie forgetting that this is a group discussion with differing views and different types of closure. I completely understood where Jeannie was coming from and I wanted to hear more of her experience and the closure she got as I have had a similar experience.
@@beautyallaround_ I'm sorry that you had to go through that, whatever your experience may have been. I think Loni needs to remember that ALL perspectives are important for this very reason.
Yes!! Loni can talk about what she thinks is closure and Jeannie can talk about what she thinks!! Why the hell is she shutting others down and interrupting other people’s thoughts? Someone could have benefitted from Jeannie’s full explanation on what she experienced in her life
It’s because jeannie didn’t invite her cohosts to her wedding lol
My coworkers are dismissive towards me. She might just be used to it. The old girls say " It is what it is," to absolutely everything. Now when they say something or complain or vent, they expect to be heard. But if YOU say it, it's "it IS what it is
that was really awkward between jeannie and loni...yikes
I know closure is closure doesn’t matter if it was sexual abuse or not that didn’t even make any sense
@@sunnym2458 ikr this was a discussion of all
their differing/similar perspectives of what closure is to them. I also understood where Jeannie was coming from as I have had a similar experience.
I don’t agree with Loni for other Jeannie and making it sound as if she went off topic. Her experience fit with the topic. I understand though it still is a subject that makes the majority of people uncomfortable and to be on the opposite site in opinions she got defensive. I love Loni and Jeannie. Just observing what happened and pointing it out because it’s an opportunity to learn.
Loni is so nasty and dismissive
I love how beautifully Garselle speaks and conveys what she wants to say. She is an amazing addition to this wonderful mix of wonderful women 💞
Loni can be so dismissive to the point I don't even care to watch these days. I agree with A though.
Agreed but I think shes been like this for many seasons now
@@Julia93939393 Agreed. She has.. I'm just reaching my breaking point & watching less and less. It's beyond annoying.
@Lipstick Nista I know exactly what she's talking about. Doesn't change the fact that she was dismissive of Jeannie's personal situation with her mom so......
@@melissajacksonmenny8515 totally agree. Its getting harder to watch with Loni on there and shes RARELY off the show
@@Julia93939393 Ikr... Because I definitely watch when she's not there.
Adrienne is talking about something like cheating or betrayal, which will not make sense and the person will not say something that makes it all ok. They may not even be emotionally intelligent enough to give you an explanation, so no use in trying to get closure from them. Garcelle and loni are talking about other instances where there might have been different perspectives and something the person says may help you move on and put a period to the situation.
The last statement Garcelle made was the best response!
Loni dismissing Jeannie like that over such a sensitive topic was disgusting to watch.
The closure has to happen between Jeannie Mai and Loni😔
@Cchela07 Exactly, this was a discussion of closure as a whole and that can come from all types of hurt. Loni dismissing Jeannie and cutting her off like that was insensitive. Everyone is supposed to have a chance to bring their own perspective and Loni being to focused on her own caused her to be disrespectful, smh.
Yes because what Jeannie was talking about is a valid form of closure and Loni was kinda rude
That was more than rude, it was really hurtful.
@@Bkprw VERY
Garcelle came through at the end.. completely shifted my thinking. So true. Closure is not a hard-rock concept. Some people really do seek closure but they don't feel worse later like Adrienne mentioned because to THEM closure is whatever they got. And that's actually a powerfull skill... be able to close something FOR YOU regardless of how that conversation went
Adrienne is thinking of closure as simply “you apologize to me” (seeking from someone else)... but that’s not always it. Meanwhile, Jeannie explained her getting a form of closure right after saying she agrees with A. Closure can be YOU explaining why you felt wronged (aka Jeannie talking to her mom with or without a response for HER self-healing journey)
"No one can give you closure [but yourself]..." 🙌🙌🙌
I agree 1000000% Mrs. Houghton!!!
I'm with Adrienne. Knowing the "why" doesn't help at all for me (if the person is even honest about the why, which you would never really know). Make like Elsa and go to your castle and let it gooooo!
Amen
I totally agree with Adrienne. Some people will never give you the answers you’re seeking for closure. You have to be able to heal yourself. And loni is definitely referring to Tamar 😕
Adrienne you asked a question to Garcelle but proceeded to speak about yourself 😂
Lol she only asked, so she can turn it back and talk about herself 🤦🏾♀️
Y'all are reading into it. Adrienne was simply adding context to her question after Garcelle gave a short answer of "yes and no" and then Garcelle finished answering the question based on the context that Adrienne gave. It was a regular conversation. Low key I think she was afraid that Garcelle was gonna end with that awkward answer so she had to think fast and add the context before time ran out. Notice everyone's eyes keep looking down on to their desk at the end because somebody is signaling them to wrap up the conversation fast.
As usual! 😂 I hate it:
Yea I’m w/ Adrienne on this one.
I agree with Adrienne !
This weird vibe with Loni is getting awkward and hard to watch. She really seems angry at Jeanie and it makes these conversations a little uncomfortable. Lately it’s seems like it’s Jeanie/Adrienne vs Loni/Garcelle. I understand they are similar in age and it affects perspectives but I would like to see all the ladies listen to each other’s opinions respectfully, and let each other finish talking. When Tam was on the show, it seemed like more of an open table. Now it seems like if you don’t agree I have an attitude.
Closure depends on the person you want it from. To be honest sometimes parents and siblings you need to talk it through. But for friends that have been horrible or relationship I don’t care
It depends if your mental is grown. Adults give closure.
I get that because with family and you want to keep a relationship with them but with ex-friends you no longer want a relationship with them
@@serenaholliday2929 That's the stupidest comment I've read in a while. But hey fake and phony is the new real. You're phony.
@@jeremiahtray5621 why do you have to be so rude just because of that person opinion
Closure is something you give YOU!!! Adrienne is telling the TRUTH!!!
I agree with Adrienne. I don’t need closure especially because a lot of the time it brings more hurt.
No, I've had those types of closure conversations and honestly, they haven't helped. I'm hurt because the person did x, y, z, them apologizing isn't going to fix it. The only thing that will fix it is changed behavior. Adrienne is 100% correct. I am responsible for healing myself and providing myself with closure. Like if it's a relationship I want to continue I will look for closure to dead an issue, but if we are going our separate ways then I just need to heal myself.
Adrienne came with the truth and I totally agree again I do understand Loni and Garcelle too. At the end of the day, just do whatever makes you feel at peace with yourself🤷🏾♀️💜💜💜
Garcelle is breath taking, sooo pretty 😍
Closure would be nice in most cases but it's not always possible so I have to agree with Adrienne
"Closure is an inside job"....R.C. Blakes
I think Adrienne came to that understanding because she has gotten the experience n at a different place in life
Closure is overrated. Depending on the situation. All the closure you need is realizing the person does not want you in their life, because they've either left you or cheated etc. Their actions are closure.
Ultimately it is up to you to do the healing but it is important for people to know what happened. If your husband left in the middle of the night didn't say anything to you. Most want to know why they decided to do that. Closure is not overrated sometimes it can help you understand how you contribute to the relationship ending. This way you can do better in your next relationship. The only time does not apply and their actions speak is when there was never an established relationship to begin with.
@@sunkistbabe I agree partially. It depends on the relationship. I would understand a person more "heavily involved" needing to give answers and more closure as the nature of the relationship changes after marriage. However they spoke of relationships in the clip. I truly feel that spouses generally give more closure as they're held more / legally accountable. But in relationships it's kinda different.
@@melishap776 Oh yeah see what you mean.
The willingness to give closure is a sign of respect in any relationship. We don't always get it, and I've had to heal on my own without it in several cases, but it's a sign of respect for the opposite party.
Completely agree with A on this one.
I feel like loni really has issues letting others have the spotlight
Like dang loni Jennie was talking about some deep stuff you don’t cut someone off like that!
Agreed! So insensitive.
I kind of agree with Adrienne. I don't think I have ever felt better after getting closure. I always tell myself I wish that I could have told my dad that I loved him before he passed away but I really don't think that me knowing that he knew I loved him would have made his passing any easier on me. Pain is pain. We are going to feel it in any situation that hurts and it really can't be avoided. I do think that closure is helpful for people who felt like they did something wrong, so as to make it "right" somehow, but it's very rarely helpful for the person on the receiving end of the explanation.
Not gonna lie i needed to hear what Jeanie was saying love you Loni but it felt like you dismissed it.
I feel like Loni completely dismissed Jeannie. Jeannie we hear you, girl!
One thing i can totally agree with Loni. In the relationship i don’t need closure because if i said i am done that means i have been done long time ago and i already know whats wrong. But in friendships and other relationships closure is needed
Adrienne sounds like she went to that high quality level therapist. She really seems to be at peace with her life.
Jeannie looks genuinely hurt being cut off I would not be surprised if she joined Tamar and Tamara
Lol don't forget Amanda 😂😂I always forget she was a Co host
@@mikaylavanderheyde2061 Oh yeah, I completely forgot about her 😂
My opinion is it depends on the relationship, friendship or person because sometimes talking back with someone could add more drama or fire to the situation. Like there are people I will never talk to again and it was people I once wanted to have a conversation with but I know it's best not too.
Loni was definitely referring to Tamar
I honestly don’t think it’s overrated but we need to learn to be ok with it if we don’t get it and coming from someone who have been divorce and didn’t get the closure I thought I deserve but I get what the ladies are saying !!!!
I agree with Adrienne and Jeanie. You can not give someone else the power to give you peace. That is temporary and you will always seek it from an outside source. I commend Jeanie for being so transparent, strong and wise regarding the sexual abuse she endured as a child. If you can provide yourself closure through something like that, the smaller things that Loni is talking about, you can get through that too.
Closure could also be you apologizing to someone
Closure would be nice but it could do more harm than good. Could scratch open old wounds.
I definitely agree that closure is overrated. Whatever happened-happened so I like to just be done with it and move on with my life. I don't think you need to give anyone that kind of power over your life (that is, waiting for them to give your closure by apologizing or explaining..., just move on).
Sometimes I'll forget that that person even existed unless his/her name is brought up in a conversation or something like that.
Seeking closure can high key hurt sometimes. When someone treats me badly, I like to assume they had a good reason/it wasn’t what I thought. But sometimes...there is no good reason or they simply do not care about you.
To me closure is not perse coming to an understanding, but explaining your part of the story and end it right there, leaving the situation without regret
Adrienne speaking FACTS!
Is it me or can anybody else sense some awkward tension during this segment.
Girrrrel, tension shouldve been the title of the video! 🙃 especially between loni and jeannie.
@@gordia4259 right lol. Like it’s so awkward watching this. Idling Loni still feeling a type of way about the wedding because this video is giving very much “you better be lucky I’m not trying to lose my job” 😂
Loni is just rude and nasty
The closure is so many things. It can be cussin people out and yelling as a form of negative energy release
Adrienne is correct!
Yes I’m not a fan of the concept of closure, because it gives your power of Self to others. I’ve never needed an apology to forgive or the acceptance of my apology to forgive myself. There are people who allow themselves to remain in pain because this expectation of closure being provided outside of themselves .... for example some adopted individuals or individual who had emotional wounds caused by lost love ones may look outward. Having a convo can be very healing, but that does not make it necessary or required to heal any emotional trauma ... it’s just easier for the mind that tells itself it is needed. FYI... the desire to save or mend a relationship is different from healing from emotional pain, but personal healing may be needed before mending a relationship with another.
Adrienne I agree with you 1000%! I don’t need a WHY? Garcelle, I love you my sister from another mother but while you’re trying to figure out the why,; that WHY you’re looking for or seeking, can be a LIE. People nowadays will tell you exactly what you want to hear just to shut you up. What’s done is done. Work on YOU! Heal YOURSELF! Consider it LESSON LEARNED. There’s nothing you can do to change what happened to you. Ask god to give you the strength, wisdom and courage to get through it while continuing to live, laugh and love life.
I do not need to know a thing. When I'm done I'm done. It's not going to change what has already been done.
Why is Loni so dismissive sometimes. So exhausting. She was rude to Jeannie today. Ad was on point!
She’s sooooo nasty and rude omg
A lot of ppl commenting are basing it on if they were wronged, but say the roles were reversed and you wronged someone. Would you want the opportunity to have some type of reconciliation to the relationship?
If they were someone close or important to me at one point then yeah as far as a convo, may be hard or take some time but if I was wrong and wanted to just seal it up, that is if I haven’t already told you, then yeah I’d want to talk and apologize but doesn’t mean I want nor need you back. An apology doesn’t always mean a ticket back into someone’s life, like G said just a knowing why would be substantial 👍🏼
Of course! Pride is a bitch but I will have to get past it because I consider myself a responsible adult. I'm a realistic now and I've learnt that such is life and growth includes the unpretty things too.
I would definitely like the opportunity to ask for forgiveness, I actually care a lot more about that than about someone saying sorry to me (if the case is that they aren’t a part of my life anymore, if they were still a part of my life then maybe I would want an apology for something) but yeah tbh I’d chase someone for the opportunity to apologise to them if I know I’ve done something wrong! I don’t want them carrying that with them
Closure ain't real until you have time and space. This can take years. No matter what they say you'll always have more questions
I agree with Garcelle. I need a why, and an apology and understanding. Everyone is different during their healing process. I need both
It depends on the situation...but yes i did have someone pushing the idea of closure for a situation which did not require it so it can be overrated.
Adrienne always keeps it real, so wise, love love love Adrienne!!!
How can Loni dismiss Jeanie like that?? Loni is totally disingenuous and it irks me.
Closure is needed. You may not get it, but it can solve years of heartache and resentment if you can get it.
People in this life are wicked (even on purpose) if closure can squeeze out the poison in another person - do it.
I did this with a friendship once that had ended badly. I kinda fished for an answer as to why they acted a certain way by starting out with my own apology and the other person just acted like they never did anything wrong at all. I didn't realize that the reason I was apologizing was that I just needed to hear what was going on in their head... but realized it later. Anyway, seeing that they didn't see any fault in their very bad behavior, that was closure enough for me.
If you’re downtrodden and hurt about what you did to me or how you treated me from way back when please don’t reach out -- keep that to yourself. I don’t want to be brought back to that time and place in my mind. I’ve made my peace with what went down and you should too
Girl chat... is not the same. I definitely do not blame the virtual aspect ... The spark within the 3 OG's has left the building... Quite frankly, me duele watching my OG's.....
I think it all depends of the relationship and situation. If this person hurt you bad, guy bye!! Don't need that "closure".
For something's you need closure you cannot heal without having the full understanding. You cannot put a lid on something that doesn't fit.
I’ve seen some other talk shows go back to the studio to host/film, so I hope the ladies get to do that soon!💛🤗
I learned that I don’t need closer especially when the person keeps bringing up the issues like where is the closer if it keeps coming up so I just learned to move on and not talk about it .
Forgiveness is for you, not the other person. It comes from from the inside. It also doesn't mean you want any more contact with them.
I think those who want closure have low self esteem or are in denial. If you know you’ve done nothing wrong and the relationship ended then you should be completely fine to move on. Clearly he/she was not the one.
Loni is so different now, right? I used to love Loni love and I still have love for her but she is so different now and it’s cringy. I’m with Ade here! A liar is a liar is a liar and some people are just evil and will not be honest or give you the closure simply because it’s what you want. That conversation Loni wants won’t happen and just like garcelle she will be seeking for that closure for the rest of forever because they aren’t hearing Adriennes message, that you cannot expect someone else to provide the healing for you! Learning to move on is one of the hardest things and Jeannie understood what the point was and that’s the message I wish they would have talked about more. You don’t need closure from anyone else. Use that energy on healing and finding yourself through the mess.
Loni is being such a snowflake. Her reputation took a bit of a knock but Tamar lost her livelihood, which is far worse.
I don't know if Loni really had a hand in Tamer getting fired but I think she at least said something about Tamar in the presence of her writer and hairdresser that makes them believe she did. I don't believe they made this story up from nowhere.
Yes Adrienne facts
It depends when people hurt you physically and the verbal abuse, it's just better not to see that person again (basically there dead to me) I dont need them to apologise anymore as I've heard that plenty of times when they said they would not lay a hand on me ever again, I'm learning to love myself again
I agree with A 100% they did what they did cause they wanted to do it. That's it, move on. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
Closure helps you to process the situation mentally. I process things in therapy vs the ppl who wronged me. It’s ok.
I broke up with someone on mutual terms, but 9 months later they contacted me and asked for a conversation where they could talk everything out and apologise...I was more than happy to give that to them, because if I seek forgiveness from God then I should be able to forgive others. Also, I personally was happy to see them regain their peace of mind so they could move on with their life just like I already had
No i don’t think so because you’ll always remember what they did what’s the point in knowing why
Wanting closure is not a sign of weakness. It takes a lot to face someone who did you wrong or to admit wrongdoings... I do believe we first need to work on ourselves before looking for that conversation and sometimes we just need closure because we need to learn how to treat people, if both aren't receptive then distant yourselves with respect
I agree with Adrienne! 🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿
I totally agree with Garcel and Loni!! 👏🏼
Adriane and Jennie aren’t really getting them. I mean I see where they’re coming from and the whole healing yourself yeah of course you do and you’re the only person that can! but sometimes we do need some type of closure aka conversation! just to know why. Like they said it all depends on how close you were to the person and I’m big on friendships! so I think it should be necessary, at least an honest truth on why they did what they did, I can totally accept and respect that no matter what their reason was no matter how stupid I might think it is as long as it’s the TRUTH! It sucks and not a very good feeling to just do someone like that. Even if the person may have been wrong at least let them know to correct it. And if they don’t get it well then that’s on them. But I think closure is needed sometimes.
And as far as relationships well that’s different. That one I can take or leave it like loni had said it really depends how long we were together, but nothing serious then whatever. But family and friends mean more to me than that.
Thank you ladies I really needed to see this today 🙌🏼
Smh. Loni has always been rude and dismissive on many occasions...
She’s the reason Tamar and Amanda left. She’s terribly insecure
I forgive and move on I get closure from myself bye not letting me people who done me stay in my life.
Gtfo .
I understand where Garcelle is getting at. But you don't always get the closure/sincere apology you deserve. Waiting on that person only makes you stuck in a mental prison. It's best for you to take the steps to move on, cause it is a process. I'm with Adrienne and Jeannie on this one.
Closure is something i struggle with... I feel like they need to take accountability. And i know thats so wrong to have that mindset. But thats one of my biggest struggles. Idc if they say sorry i just need them to admit what they did. Crazy i know. The struggle is real.
Disagree with Adrienne, closure helps you learn from a situation that you can carry to your next relationship, even if it was the other person's fault. A silver lining of breakups is learning from them, and refusing closure is limiting how much you learn
Adrienne isn’t refusing closure, she is saying that it is not necessary. If a person decides to offer an explanation, that’s great, but Adrienne is saying you shouldn’t go looking for that or even expect that will occur. Your healing does take a backseat if the person that wronged you decides to never give you that closure. One should not have their emotional healing be determined by whether they get closure from a person that they have zero control over.
Garcelle is such a classy woman. I love her!
"Closure comes from communication" what if the communication never happens, then what? What I conclude is if you wait for any changes to an unpleasant experience this may not happen. Healing happens when you (conscious decision) decide to move on and forgive for the sake of peacemaking without anyone else's permission. Things sometimes happen not cause people are wicked or you are deserving, can be just human error. I think forgiving yourself can make be an eye opener to a clear vantage point
closure means a person lack control and power. they need anther person to give them their emotions back so they can feel better about themselves in order to move on. its more like a selfish act to feel better about themselves
I 100% agree with Adrienne.
I think Loni is talking about Jenny liking the comment about them not liking each other
They starting to ask the most stupidest questions.
I needed closure with someone I knew for 20 years we were friends for 19 years and the started dating.
Well said Garcelle 👏